Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Puke]

carefull with the escelation, chaps.

[NullAshton]

Ready the barbecue cannons!

The food-processing robots promptly mount sauce cannons, and pepper Strategia's forces with barbecue. Barry gets a large meal today!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me will teach Puke escalation!

The Salagull and Seamander forces charge into the B&G, taking his new gherkin legions by complete surprise. Almost half of them are slaughtered before they can react, and the rest is quickly finished off.

"Sooo Puke..... about that escalation thing?....."

[Puke]

puke sits calmy and sips his spaten. Looking about the floor that was cleaned by the food processors, he sees exactly two gherkins.

one is quickly eaten by the gullamanders, and the other runs.

Ashtons food processing bots hose down Stratigan's new army with aforementioned BBQ sauce, as they look about the now clean B&G, wondering where the fight went.

With one sweeping 'chomp' Barry inhales half of the gullamanders. The battlesquid, deprived of its spicy gherkin snack, reaches out with its multitude of limbs and starts sucking raw BBQ flavored meat off the bones of the other half.

Sorry Stratigan, I already won the socc---football game. You'll have to come wait for the teams to be assembled for the rematch. Have a pint.

[NullAshton]

Ashton walks through the oddly clean battlefield, and sits down at the bar.

Do you have any soda?

[RudyHuxtable]

Rudy walks into the B&G, and sits calmly at the bar. He surveys his surroundings, and begins jotting things down on a PDA.

He notices puke and the gang, waves, and goes back to jotting down notes.

[AgentZero]

"Hmmm.... Funny... Looks like Guinness... Doesn't taste like Guinness though. Wait a minute. Doesn't look like Guinness either!"

Agent Zero swishes a mouthfull around in his mouth before spitting it distastefully back into it's glass.

"It's..... Bud" he snarls.

Onlookers will later swear that the shadows deepened as Agent Zero slowly raised himself from his stool. He slowly turns about the Bar, his nose seeking the smell of roasted, malted barley & hops, until his gaze settles on El Phil. El Phil tries to appear nonchalant, but as AZ moves forward, he panics and drops the Guinness he was hiding behind his back and tries to run.

Only to slip on the spilled Guinness and land squarely on his face. In a flash, Zero leaps across the bar and nails El Phils hands to the floor with Zero's two swords. Agent Zero then yanks down El Phil's pants and administers a spot of colonic irrigation a la Repeating-Custard-Pie Rifle, followed by a rectal de-hairing courtesy of the New Improved (by which I mean enlarged) Red-Hot Poker Cannon, and finishes the job with a blast from his Compressed Tabasco Sauce Gun.

Zero then nicks a fiver from El Phil's wallet and gets himself a replacement pint. Seeing GrowlTigga staring at him in mute shock, Agent Zero shrugs.

"I know, I went too easy on him. But I left my Ravenous Pirhanna Launcher at home."

[El_Phil]

"Thank God I sent my good twin in to do that job for me." El Phil comments. "That looked really unpleasant, not as bad as the Bud of course, but not nice."

[NullAshton]

The bots quickly clean up the spilled beer. Some of the bots are starting to eye Puke...

[AgentZero]

El Phil speaks too soon, as Agent Zero, having wandered off after his pint, returns with his Ravenous Pirhanna Launcher locked and loaded. After the obligatory concussion on the way in, Zero empties an entire Pirhanna clip into El Phil (the REAL one, this time). As the medics arrive and begin desperately cello-taping bits of El Phil back together, Agent Zero heads for the door.

"That," he says over his shoulder. "Was almost as bad as the Bud."

[Puke]

i am NOT a spill!

[Raging Deadstar]

RD looks up from the Bar, thankfully Pukes advancement saved it from any real destruction. He quickly get's on the intercom...

"Barry? Yeah, I heard someone mention a Code: Bud in the cantina, Get yourself in here now! I'm not putting my *** on the Line if the Boss finds out American beer was on his Property!!!!"

Outside the roars of an American beer hating T-Rex deafen all and the cantina begins to shake...

[NullAshton]

The robots start moving towards Puke, their processors spinning. Ashton presses a button on a remote, and they stop, cleaning up other stuff.

Sorry about that.

[TurinTurambar]

Turin rolls deftly to the side just in time, certainly awake now from the roar of the huge beast, and narrowly avoids being stepped on by the Reptilian Valet

<font color="green"> "Imagine that, I was looking for mayhem and actually found some... silly me."</font>

He strolls back into the cantina stiffly, noting absent-mindedly the bits of hair and skin on the 'Mind the Step' sign.

<font color="green"> "Odd that..." </font>

Noticing something black and fury resting on a little pile of glass shards ... and... glitter? Wtf? Turin picks it up. The sword at his side thrums angrily. It is the E.W.E!!

<font color="green"> "Ha haaa! I sense more mayhem just 'round the corner, me maties!" </font>

[Renegade 13]

A floorboard in a dusty and neglected portion of the B&amp;G pops up suddenly, followed by a worse-for-wear Renegade, tattered clothing, blood splotches and all.

"Who put the bloodthirsty carnivorous titanium fanged termites below the floorboards and forgot to tell me!??! :@ "

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

One of Zero's ravenous Piranhas is still loose, and it jumps Phil just as the last bit of him has been sellotaped back in place. Within seconds, Phil again lies scattered across the floor. Strategia issues an order to his troops, and one of the Seamander Bread Pudding Cannons takes the fish out.

Strategia then moves on to duct-tape Phil back into one piece. The result is a fully intact, fully functioning Phil..... encased in a suit of duct tape.

Just as he is finished, Strategia finds a bit of Phil inside still lying about on the floor.

"Oooh dear. Will have to start all over again."

A slight whimper can be heard coming from inside the duct tape suit.....

[mac5732]

over in the cornor the wize one watches all the meyhem and violence.... Sigh, he mutters, place starting to look like the old joint again.. especially with GT and Dogscoff dropping in again...all we need now is the OLD Gryphin and Taz.... he goes back to drinking his brew and reading his newest research book on creating army minions out of .......

[Suicide Junkie]

Having made a small fortune selling thre recently popular "How to create armies of freakish minions for only pennies a day", SuicideJunkie is finally able to pay off all the charges that 'ol Mac secretly ran up on his tab.

[El_Phil]

As AZ attempts to try his next pint it taste different somehow. Really terrible. Only then does he realise the full truth, his tastebuds have become contaminated with cheap US beer. From now on everything will taste of slightly alcholic washingup liquid mixed with piss.

The horror, the endless horror...

[Puke]

*puke hands El Phil an orange-hot poker*

its been cooling off for a while, but you can probably still use it to burn the taste buds out of your mouth.

[Suicide Junkie]

Careful!
Orange is hotter than red.
Higher frequency peak emission from a blackbody = hotter!

Next episode, the science of fermentation. Everybody buy me a brew for the demonstration.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia, envisioning a new tactic, sends a large part of his forces back to homebase to equip themselves with a new and very dangerous super-weapon -

the American Beer Squirt.

[Growltigger]

Growltigga marshals his Byzantine hordes, and stares around at the cantina..... it is miraculously clean, there are no Geeskats, Salanders or other funny denizerns anywhere, and all there is a large giant squid who seems to have erxpired from eatng one to many gherkins (oooh the smell).....

GT gives the order and his brave mongoose and bagders march back into the kitchen barracks, to ready themselves for the next bout of mayhem...

GT&lt; seeing that the cantina is going to erupt in a fight comprising of spraying carbonated wee wee at each other, decides that the time is right to take a short break...

No way am I washing fizzy p@ss out of this fur?!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia, flanked by a small squad of Seamanders with American Beer guns, stops Growltigga as he turns.

"Going somewhere? FIRE!!!!!"

Needless to say, GT was not happy about this, and Strategia won't be able to sit down for weeks.....

[Growltigger]

Too right Strategia, and the smell of carbonated urine fizzling on the red hot poker now imbedded deep up your rectum, together with the smell of Seamander entrails, is just to horrid to contemplate

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

As Strategia is being treated by his medibots - the screaming is deafening, even from within a 100% soundproof cabin - the Seamanders and Salagulls take up formation again for a strike against the Byzantine Mongeese.

The shorter-ranged heavy-duty flamethrowers (sorry guys, but I really wanna keep those) are set up in front of the American Beer weapons, the long-ranged Bread Pudding artillery set up at the rear of the forces.

As Strategia exits the orbital cabin and instaports down to the surface to assume command of his forces again, with a heavily bandaged aft section, he surveys the battlefield.

Fresh corpses lie alongside the rotting remains of gherkins and mongeese. Several broken GeesKat wings, torn from the living bodies of their former owners, lie scattered across the battlefield. The armies on all sides are regrouping.

The time is ripe for assault.....

[Growltigger]

However, the up and coming battle is going to be between El Phil (nd whatever bizarre and unusual horde he can come up) and Puke (with whatever weird culinary-based army he can conjure up from the depths of his depraved little mind) and Strategia, as the Great Kat, having been showered in fizzy p@ssy beer has taken his bat and ball home and is currently enjoying a couple of half shandies and a rub down with his Byzantine legions in the members only bar

(PS which is armour proofed, nuke proof, flame proof and pretty much anything else proof)

[TurinTurambar]

Growltigger said:

(PS which is armour proofed, nuke proof, flame proof and pretty much anything else proof)



LMAO!

"...and no Black Magic... I call."

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"So, it is everything-proof. BUT - can it withstand The Horror?"

With that, Strategia signals his men..... err, Salagulls to bring forward..... something.

It is a cage of sorts, fully closed on each side. No windows, no air holes. Air is supplied through a transphasic airco system. Its walls appear to be at least several feet thick. This is not the case, they are in fact much thicker. From inside, horrible, mad screaming can be heard, and the massive cage sways slightly as something can be heard crashing against the walls from the inside, apparently trying to break the solid hyperneutronium walls.

The Salagulls set the cage on the ground in front of the B&amp;G, then run like hell back to their lines, back to safety, five thousand miles away. Strategia is left alone in front of the B&amp;G. The mocking faces of the patrons can be seen in front of the window. Strategia activates a fully impregnable nano-stored nanoactive armor, then moves cautiously to the crate.

Reaching the crate, he pushes a small button, then runs like hell and instaports to his orbital fleet as soon as he's put a reasonable amount of light-years between him and The Horror.

The patron's faces look less mocking now, in fact they look mildly disturbed. From the inside of the dark crate, a guttural growl can be heard. A shape can be seen moving to the open entrance.

The patron's faces turn white.

The Horror stands in front of the B&amp;G, startled by the sudden bright sunlight. Looking about itself, it realises it is standing in front of the B&amp;G.

A deep guttural growl emanates from NullAshton's throat as he approaches the mortified patrons.....

[Puke]

eep!

[TurinTurambar]

Turin had been pondering since his latest embarrassing episode as The King, how best to deploy the E.W.E. for the greater good and the sickest havoc. Then all the hair on his body stood straight up as The-Horror-Previously-Known-as-NullAshton trudged through the door and roared ferociously as he hit his head on the 'Mind the Step' sign.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him.

In a split second Turin melts from his table to the wall behind him. Keeping his ElvisH Cloak wrapped tight and close, he edges along the front windows toward the door. Now that he sees Mr.Ashton a little closer he realizes that he's not so fearsome as he first seemed. It's all shock value really, and the smell is what really gets you... He considers drawing Gurthang and ending this silliness right now.

<font color="green"> "Meh... this'll be more fun..." </font>

Having got behind the beast as it entered the bar, he leaps quickly, and as he passes The Horror's right shoulder he firmly plops the E.W.E. on it's head!!

The creature's advance is now greatly slowed since it can't stop gyrating it's hips and right knee as it walks, and it's mumbling subsonically about "Lemonade... that cool, refreshing drink..."

[Suicide Junkie]

*SuicideJunkie unrolls a banner down the front edge of his table and opens a cardboard box full of merchandise.

Peril Sensitive Sunglasses for sale! HHGG-style, fully functional, only 50 minerals each!

[Growltigger]

Growltigga, sharing a happy cheeky half or two with the Badger Captains of his Byzantine Armoured Mongoose Legions, looks into one of the CCTV cameras in his armoured "Members Bar" and looks at the NullAshton smelly thing squatting in the cantina which is currently reeling from Turambars assault and exuding putrid smelly vapours...

I am not paying the cleaners overtime to srot that out he thinks, and reaches over for the big red lever. He yanks that and a large trapdoor opens under NullAshton, sneding him plummeting down into the Pit of Doom..

You will recall from much much earlier posts that the Pit of Doom is basically filled with the overflow of all the nasty things that have washed up in the cantina, which includes essence of Mac, body parts, stinky sneaker seeker missiles, tons of spilt beer, most of Dogscoff's celtic undersea minions, and I think Raging Deadstar as well.

Overall, not a nice place to be......

[NullAshton]

NullAshton walks back in.

Who's been playing with the cloning machine? You know that machine is no longer under warranty!

[TurinTurambar]

Pleased that the Evil Wig of Elvis was able to assist GT in dispatching The Horror, but somewhat miffed that the E.W.E. might now be lost forever, Turin snaps a brief salute at the nearest CCTV camera, draws his Traitorous Black Blade and leaps into the trapdoor just before it closes.

<font color="green"> "Time for some fun! See you all latttteerrrrr......" </font>

[David E. Gervais]

Has anyone here ever woke up wearing pink bunny slippers and purple pijammas? (GT You don't count for this question since this is your regular atire.)

FYI I think the closest to this I have come is Blue underwear and red socks.

"What do you mean, How much Amonkriean Ale did I drink last night?" Hmmm, come to think of it there are six empty barrels in the corner of my room. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[mac5732]

ah david, if I were you, from now on when you find yourself out and imbibing upon the pleasures of life, you may want to have a video recorder automatically attached somewhere on your attire. This way you will see what depradations you may find yourself in. If your wearing what you described, then I'd hate to see what the other person is wearing http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Growltigger]

David Gervais, Canadian non-drinking tree-hugger and artist extraordinaire you may be, but I DO NOT WALK ROUND IN PURPLE PAJAMAS AND PINK BUNNY SLIPPERS

a crimson flamenco dress, bobble hat and cowboy boots maybe, but that is only on the second Thursday of every month!

Yeah, I remember this, you wake up in the morning after a skinful of ale (or a couple of bottles of Bud to you saddo North American lager fairies) and find yourself wearing a traffic cone, clutching a policemans helmet and for some reason, holding onto the brassiere of your tasty female housemate (the sad thing being you cannot remember if you got frisky with her, you suspect you did, but no-one is talking and it is a real pity cos you have fancied her something rotten all year and she is now not talking to you, but you suspect that is because you might have showed her your famous "elephant impression" (you know, the one where you face her, pull out the pockets on your trousers as ears and then show her your trunk?) just when she actually felt quite amorous)

the alternative I suppose if that you wake up in the toilet, wearing somebody elses clothes, feeling battered and with a lovebitwe on your neck and a note to call someone called "Steve" - in fact, the alternative is worse..

lordy, where would we be but for beer?

[El_Phil]

With a much healthier liver?

The things that seem a good idea after a few drinks. Like trying to win back a £5 bet by going double or quits on a pint of vodka...

[Puke]

the real crime is that i've been off the waggon for a couple months now. virtual pints in the cantina is the closest i come to drinking anymore. no more of those warm and wonderful memories that i cant remember

*sniff*

[NullAshton]

We need some type of big battle again.

[El_Phil]

Nooooooooooooo!

Truly that has brought a tear to my eye

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me rallies his Seamander and Salagull forces again, who didn't know at all why they haven't seen any action in the past few days. /Me then goes on to send them into the B&amp;G and take up position near the entry.

[El_Phil]

Kahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhn!

With that mighty cry from El Phil the newly re-armed mongesse legions rally to their leader. Each armed with a serrated adamntium penguin beak and those guns Chris Walken used in "The Dogs of War" they back and ready for a rumble!

[Grey_One]

:: Materializing out of space and time // Strides to the bar // Orders a Guiness // Goes off to watch the room ::

[mac5732]

the wize one looks at this new person entering the cantina, hmmm, he looks familiar, The old one mozyes over next to the stranger all dressed in Grey. Howdy stranger he remarks, the stranger turns around and smiles at the old geezer... Hi Mac you old reprobate returns the Grey One, Mac look closer, no it can't be "ITS THE GRYPHIN" HE YELLS now all dressed in Grey and with a name change.... Mac orders a brewski for The Grey one, then hurries over to the window, waters the Thorn vines, and askss the FBW to put his pizza under lock and key

Welcome back Gryphin, who is now known as THE GREY ONE
its been a long time, have a brewski or two, we'll put it on the furry feline GT's tab..
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia's Salagull ground pounders advance slowly, in a testudo-like formation to protect against surprise attacks. They walk into the middle of the Hut, their commander standing at their center.

A sickening lurch beneath them slowly spreads a mild panic across the Salagull forces, as Strategia tries to keep them in line.

Suddenly, the trapdoor beneath them opens, and Turin comes clambering out, indeterminable bits of..... indeterminable things hanging off his sword, clutching the E.W.E. victoriously.

<font color="green">"I got it!!"</font>

With a final scream, Strategia rejoins his Salagull forces at the bottom of the pit as the trap doors close.

"I Will Be Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack....." (sploosh)

[Grey_One]

Thanks pizza eatting old codger.
:: Dumps something out the window // little does he know it is a plant terminator which no plant can survive ::
I'll pay for my own. Don't felling like playing with the little kitty today.

[El_Phil]

Gryphin the grey? *Insert cheap LOTR joke here*

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia saves Phil the bother from inserting the joke by thwacking him on the back of the head with an oversized ping-pong bat, thereby knocking him unconscious, and inserting it himself.

Just as he was about to insert it, however, the Byzantine Mongeese charge and knock him down. The Salagull and Seamander legions are too far away to save him, and he dies in the middle of a horde of battle-frenzied Mongeese.

Then he walks back in through the door.

"My, altering NullAshton's appearance to my own and sending him here was the best thing I have ever done so far....."

[Growltigger]

The Grey One, is it really Gryphin? what has happended to you? did you run out of Grecian 2000? what is with this "dont fancy playing with the little kitty today" lark? never stopped you in the olden days?

Have a beer on me and tell me why this persona change has occurred?

[Growltigger]

Oi, El Phil and Strategia....

The Byzantine Mongoose horde is MY ARMY, NOT YOURS, SO HANDS OFF AND GO RECRUIT YOUR OWN LEGION OF MAYHEM.

They are not for hire, and are currently located in the Members Bar and Chill Out Room, sipping some small bottles of decent ale and letting rip...(its the sauerkraut in their diet!)

[El_Phil]

I do have my own personal horde: The Assyrian Armoured Geeskat charioters!

They've realised that perhaps longbows don't cut it and so are now rearmed with adamntium serrated penguin beaks and those guns Chris Walken used in 'The Dogs of War'.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I also have my legions; I even referenced to them, my Salagull ground forces and my Seamander flyers. YOUR Mongeese attacked me (think it was the guard patrol) (or rather - NA, who'd been surgically altered to look like me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif ) when they saw me. My forces were powerless against them. After the attack, the Mongeese resumed their patrol again.

[El_Phil]

Of course! The air support: Spider monkeys, carrying naplam filled water ballons, riding gryphons.

[NullAshton]

Strategia, PLEASE stop using the cloning machine...

[i]Ashton puts up a sign in the bar, saying "Looking for army for skirmishes against the bar patrons. Free Eee shakes for joining."[i]

[Puke]

*cough* *spit* BLEAGH!

I thought this was TAPIOCA!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me doesnt use a cloning machine, /me just altered NA's appearance to his own and placed him in the field of vision of a Mongeese patrol.

[NullAshton]

Riiiiight...

I should start having clones of me walk around as cannon fodder. Lots safer.

[El_Phil]

Barman! A Brewski and pronto. My throats drier than the Sahara after a really bad drought

[Grey_One]

Growltigger said:
The Grey One, is it really Gryphin? what has happended to you? did you run out of Grecian 2000? what is with this "dont fancy playing with the little kitty today" lark? never stopped you in the olden days?

Have a beer on me and tell me why this persona change has occurred?


Ya, it is reall me. Thanks for the beer. My X fiance, (pooh bear), has it tatooed to the small of her back, it was just tooo deeply embeded in our relationship, (in ways you _don't_ want to know). So I am removing it from every part of my being. It is who I _was_. It is not who I _am_.

Joking around take too much energy. I used to do most of it from work. I'm too busy now, (new mashal in town, er, I mean a new boss).

How have you been Great Cat?
Be well, Steve - The Grey One

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

NullAshton said:
I should start having clones of me walk around as cannon fodder. Lots safer.



as said by someone who claims I shouldn't resort to cloning. I rest my case, Your Honor.

[NullAshton]

Meh, you shouldn't clone other people. I don't want clones that I don't use walking around.

Ashton stays at his table, waiting for an army to show up for the free Eee shakes.

[El_Phil]

The Meerese, having not had their contract renewed by El Phil decide to go into the contract mercenary game. They slowly approach Ashtons table...

[NullAshton]

The Meerese are quickly hired, along with full benefits. Work is begun on training this new army.

[El_Phil]

Thus raising the question: What is the exact relationship between the Meerese and Geeskats? Both the product of genetic engineering gone horribly wrong and raised in the same lab by the same mad scientists.

Friends or blood enemies?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Well, look at my Salagull and Seamander forces! Both genetically engineered from the same two beasts, and they LOVE each..... oh, waitasec....."

Everybody (except Strategia) watches in amusement (Strategia watches in horror) as the Seamanders flyers pelt the Salagull ground troops with American beer, while the Salagulls fire back with their bread-pudding flak.

"That's not supposed to happen....."

[Growltigger]

Ducking behind the bar to avoid the El Phil and Strategia related shenanigans, GT steps out into real life a moment to speak to The Grey One.

"Gryppo old chap (for you will always be that to me), sorry to hear real life for you sounds a bit tough, but I am sure you will bounce back and be weirder and more furrier than ever - may be you just need a nice holiday to somewhere interesting and not American - Borneo is nice at this time of year, and if you die your moustache orange, you can pretend to be an orang-utang.

I am well. Busy and hating work as usual, but fatherhood is suiting me very well (Alessandra is 7 months old now, looks alarmingly like me but I am sure she will grow out of that, and is the prettiest little thing on the planet (but then I am biassed). Life is OK. Salary is too low, credit card bills are too high etc, but we are surviving

What's going on with the Boston Massiv?

[Grey_One]

Life goes on.

Just doing my TDG, Trains, Dames and Games.

BTW: I no longer have a mustache. It came off for my 50th.

Good to hear about your daugter.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia is getting bored, and decides to lob a party-streamer bomb in between the two men to attract their attention.

Ouch, won't be able to sit down for weeks.....

[NullAshton]

That wasn't nice. Can't we all get along? Here, I'll buy you a drink.

[Growltigger]

Growltigga tactfully ignores NullAshton and Strategia, especially as Strategia quite correctly now has a red hot poker sticking out of his rectum.

YOU SHAVED OFF YOUR MOUSTACHE? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? YOUR MOUSTAHCE AND CIRCLING THE WAGONS (did we ever get to the bottom of that (if that is the right phrase)?) WERE PILLARS OF THE BAR &amp; GRILL....

Hope you kept it, may be you can auction the moustache. I am sure MAc would go for it!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia spots the moustache quietly trying to sneak away and sends a team of Spec-Ops Salagulls to catch it.

When he has the squirming little bugger firmly in his hand, he runs like hell.....

[El_Phil]

Too late Strategia realises that it isn't a moustache but is in fact the EWE

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia tries to contain the E.W.E. and prevent it from jumping on his head, but it's too late. A pair of sunglasses and a white suit later, he's no longer himself and now the target of every weapon in the establishment.....

[El_Phil]

El Phil, seeing that Strategia needs help tries a desperate move. He fires up the jukebox and hits the random play button while selecting Shatner's "What's New Kahnn!!!!" Hopefully this will drive the wig away

[Growltigger]

Gentlemen

For those of you who are not as familiar with The Grey Ones' furry fellah, please be advised that ribald remarks and general ridicule about Gryphin's moustache (and his sexual athleticism but we wont go into that now) pretty much were founding topics of the Cantina/Bar &amp; Grill in all its various guises.

In simple terms, that moustached is an icon, it is something to be treasured and worshipped, not abused and terrorised like some poor wild beast.

Be kind to it. It has more experience of life than you do, and has probably seen more action than most of us chaps on the cantina all put together!!

[NullAshton]

Ashton walks over to the jukebox, then plays something more relaxing, like the background music to SE4. He then grabs a oddly convenient hair spray cannon, and shoots the E.W.E. off of Strategia's head, where it promptly falls into the abyss, paralyzed by the holding power of the hair spray.

[mac5732]

GT, you forgot about his Custer hat and his symbiote wolly Bear who used to live on that lip of his http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif poor thing, wonder if he found a new place to live http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif Glad your back old Grey One, and ps. keep your hands off my pizza http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Renegade 13]

Wha...something going on...ah whatever.

Renegade fall back to sleep, face first on a table in the shadowed corner.

[Suicide Junkie]

Hey, Happy Birthday Renegade!

There is a giant novelty cake outside... we couldn't seem to fit it through the doors though, sorry.

[mac5732]

Is it Renegades Birthday? well if thats the case, Happy B-Day Renegade, the old one orders a pint of sassperella for the B-day young man, and has one of the FBW's give him a lap dance paid for on SJ's tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Grey_One]

Yep, all gone, but I still wear a Custards hat and I would proactice "Circle the Wagons" but there is no one in my life at the moment to do so with.
Here's a current pic:
http://us.f2.yahoofs.com/users/41c8b0a7z48445885/grateful_grey_one/__sr_/b9bf.jpg?pfY_VcCBVjLUxfdx
Sips my beer

// Stairs at MACs pizza. Watches as it floats into the air and slowly moves toward the window

[NullAshton]

It's grey all right. Grey with a pop-up saying it doesn't exist http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Renegade 13]

Thanks SJ and Mac...especially for the cake and FBW!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

Officially an adult, it feels good. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif

[Puke]

look! a link that works:

http://profiles.yahoo.com/grateful_grey_one

cheers, everyone. draw off a pint of everyone's beverage of choice, i have a pizza to catch.

*puke takes a flying dive out the window, and with a fierce battlecry, lands on Mac's levitating pizza*

[NullAshton]

Still grey http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Ashton pounces on the 2 liter bottle of grape soda that conveniently is nearby.

[El_Phil]

Favourite quote: "I am open to almost anything safe, sane and consensual."

So what on earth are you doing around here? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Grey_One]

Puke: Thanks!
Phill - You don't want to know

[El_Phil]

...Must resist temptation to ask.....

[NullAshton]

Ashton guzzles down the grape soda, then pounces on some more.

Mmm... grape...

[El_Phil]

Grape Soda?

Would that be fermented by any chance? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[NullAshton]

Nah, just has high amounts of hydrogenated sugar.

[El_Phil]

Hmm sweet sweet sugar. You can't argue with that.

See any more around here?

[NullAshton]

I saw some orange soda, thats good too. Grape is the best though, never get tired of the taste.

[Puke]

hmm, i wonder what sort of foul thing would result if yeast got into flavored sugar-water. im sure it wouldnt be good, but it would definitly be quite alcoholic.

on the other hand, i think the sugars have to be metabolized in a certain way. soda probably wouldnt be digestable by the yeast.

[Grey_One]

Phill - Trust a very very young man born in '54.
If you do know the referance, then you do'n't want to talka bout it here and if you don't know, then you don't want to know.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif
Gotta love mystery.
My most resent date said:
"Chemistry? Well it is too soon to know but I would like to find out"
Verbatum quote.

[mac5732]

The Old one watches as the Grey One ministrates movement upon his pizza, then, out of Nowhere, he sees a huge furry &amp; scaled being land on top of the pizza, his heart stops a beat, he watches as a gratoitous fight ensales between the pizza and the being, who is that person the wize one mutters, he picks up a pair of binocs and cks out the fight, There lo and behold is Puke fighting like an oozing demon on top of the pizza, from this angle tho, it was hard to determine who was winning the battle, The pizza appears to have the upper hand at the moment as it pulsates pepperoni into Pukes nostrils. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif however, as he watches, the pizza and being are floating towards the open window and towards the thorn bushes he had installed for that pizza stealing, double cheese and pepperoni Grey One. This could get interesting he mumbles as he notices the Pizza letting loose with some melting cheese, covering Puke's entire upper torso.......

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Renegade 13]

Renegade lifts his head from the table in the corner. All around him are writhing, twisting semi-clones of the renowned Puke, created from an excess of pizza and alcohol....

[Growltigger]

I dont like pizza much anyway - I only like pizza where it has no cheese on it (damn I hate mozzarella - what is the purpose of a skaggy tasteless rubbery ball of fermented cow's milk?) and then is heavy on the anchovies, jalapeno peppers and pineapple!

Pizzas are overpriced, greasy, fat laden, cardiac inducing smelly things unpleasantly brought to your door by generally unwashed oiks on motorbikes!

I would probably eat more pizza if they employed attractive young ladies to bring them round (but cue ethical, moral and personal safety considerations), but then I doubt I would be using the service for the pizza!!

[El_Phil]

Bad mozzarella is awful but good mozzarella is ... not bad I suppose. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

However a good 4 cheese pizza is food of the gods!

[Raging Deadstar]

Growltigga. Once upon a solar alignment I actually managed to eat a food the Catholic church would reform the Inquisition for...

"Donner Kebab Pizza."

It wasn't as bad as I imagined, and I'm still alive. Although I think maybe my soul was destroyed in the process. (I was sober too whilst eating it.)

[NullAshton]

Ashton enters the bar again, flanked by an army of Meerese. As Ashton makes his way to one of the tables, one of the Meerese trips, and goes flying across the bar. It picks itself up and quickly goes back into formation, embarrased for ruining NullAshton's dramatic entrance.

What's up?

[El_Phil]

Clearly one of your Meerese! *ba-da-boom*

[NullAshton]

No drumroll's, please...

[El_Phil]

Then how do you musically mark a cheesy pun?

[Puke]

with a rimshot. ba-dum CHING!

[El_Phil]

I think I'll stick with the riffle of durms and cymbal crash if it's all the same.

[Suicide Junkie]

Ba-dum-pum. Chaaa!

[El_Phil]

See! That's what I'm talking about.

[NullAshton]

Those are overrated, and is not needed if something is actually FUNNY.

[El_Phil]

That's why I specified 'cheesy' puns.

Hell even good puns need musical celebration. It's the law, didn't you know that?

[NullAshton]

Most of us don't follow the law, so why would we care?

[Puke]

back when they were available, i would often snack on planters cheese balls. they came in a cardboard can with a plastic lid and a tin bottom. the plastic lid and tin bottom made a perfect surface for improvising a drum-roll and cymbal hit.

my friends hated me.

[El_Phil]

Not a country law, a universal law. Like the law of ninja competence or Kirk-Fu beating any enemy.

[Growltigger]

Well, personally, a good cheesy pun needs to be celebrated with a Marx Bros-esque "wahhh wahhh wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhh"..

A small ker-ching, cymbal crash or cow horn is also acceptable.

Raging Deadstar, donner kebab pizza, sober or drunk, ir a disgusting annd horrid spectacle, and exactly the sort of thing I would expect from a Labour voting smelly Cumbrian oik like yourself!!

Cheese balls? I didn't know they had any!!

Anyone remember frazzles and those foul scampi snacks?

[Puke]

frazzles? scampi?

not on this side of the pond...

[El_Phil]

Scampi fries are without doubt the worlds finest snack. You are missing a treat. The only bad thing I can say about them is that they should sell them in far larger sized bags.

[Growltigger]

El Phil

What about the fact that scampi fries smell like the most godawful stench on the planet, and leave your fingers yellow...

I actually know a joke about this but it is too rude to post

[Puke]

hmm.. i would guess that it is similar to a joke about cheetos. they stain your hands an unnatural shade of orange.

[Raging Deadstar]

RD sits down in the cantina feeling quite relaxed.

I'm having one of my guilty pleasures days. Just finished watching a combination of Good TV.
Sharpe
Farscape
Indiana Jones And the Last Crusade.

This is what Sunday was made for. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[El_Phil]

Not the world's most sophisticated joke, but funny I'll grant you.

Given I have an awful sense of smell I really can't comment on Scampi Fries. And they are the world's tastiest bar snack.

[Growltigger]

Nahh, the world's tastiest bar snack, and something you would never dream of eating at home or without the benefit of a few beers, is the PORK SCRATCHING.

Possibly the most vilest unhealthy and overall nasty edible item in the universe. The sort of thing that even Jabba would avoid for his health.

Still taste good after a few scoops of ale, especially if you go to one of them posh west country pubs where they put a pickled egg in the packet as well.

This upsets your digestive system so much that you probably contravene the geneva convention

[Puke]

a pork scratching that is a packet? what exactly is this? and who purports to poshery, whom serves pickled eggs?

we have pork skins here, which are deep fried and flavored bits of piggy flesh. sort of the consistancy of puffed-rice, but crunchier and greasier. and porkie-er.

[NullAshton]

I think I've seen every single 'old' farscape episode. Turns out there was a marathon for weeks on end, so I just watched them all http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Growltigger]

good effort on the Farscape marathon NullAshton, although I would reccomend that you take up sport and get a girlfriend (says the man who cannot wait for his wife to go away for a weekend so that I can sit down and watch series 3 of B5 back to back!!)

Puke, that sounds like pork scratchings, although they are not like puffed rice, but more just solid salty bits of pig skin and fat that sit on your stomach like a really horrible vindaloo (from the Rupali Restaurant, Bigg Market, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne)

Pickled eggs may be a pecularity to England. They are eggs pickled in vinegar. Nuff said. Taste like crap, go through your system like crap, and you can still smell them 3 days after you have eaten them.

Probably the best kickstart for the bowel bugle or trouser trumpet I know (even better than baked beans)

[Renegade 13]

If you want something to get your intestinal system moving, try pickled habenero peppers... You'll feel one of those suckers burning in your intestine as it's moving through you...and I'm not going to even get started on what kind of burning you get when one of those baby's leaves! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/redface.gif

[Puke]

you know, i have had some really good pickled habeneros that were stuffed inside green olives. quite tasty. flaming hot.

eat ice-cream afterwards, it helps it move through your bowles!

[mac5732]

well, from what I've been told, Puke's secret Chili and Tesco's secret Chili, Pack more of a wallop then any of them.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Growltigger]

Actually, the best thing to try and do for a lavatorial experience you will never forget is to do what I did a few weeks back.

Went out at lunchtime for a couple of beers, and had a steak and kidney pudding (in suet) with all the trimmings. Followed that with a couple of beers, and then some chocolate cake, and then more beers, then a curry in the evening with some pickled eggs in a pub, followed by a kebab.

The next morning comprised a three hour marathon and several rolls of loo paper before even an acceptable level of bottomly hygience could be attained.

Is this thread getting a bit gross?

[NullAshton]

Let's take our thread to new frontiers!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ashton bends his knees and looks pained for a few seconds, then a massive explosion of gasses grants him escape veolcity.

me, shouting "Well? How does the Final Frontier look like?"

[NullAshton]

STOP PLAYING WITH THAT CLONING MACHINE! Please, we already have enough insane people in here.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

While Ashton is ranting on and on, turning visibly redder, he doesn't notice the semi-sentient simian minion creeping up behind him. Nobody does.

When it reaches Ashton, a bony hand reaches forward, then yanks something hard.....

WEDGIE!!!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[El_Phil]

The bar backroom. The final frontier. These are the piss heads of the Bar &amp; Grill, their continuing mission to taste strange new bar snacks, to seek out new beers and new chasers, to boldly get more drunk than anyone has ever been before!

[Puke]

its actually quite difficult to maintain an optimal level of drunkenness. as your inhibitions go, the "one more!" syndrome becomes inescapable.

The trick is, i believe, to have just enough. and then to pace the rest out to one every 30-60 minutes, so that you neither clean up nor get tanked.

of course, this is something i will probably never manage, being bereft of any form of self control.

[NullAshton]

Ashton presses a button milliseconds before the wedgie is given, switching spatial positions between him, and Strategia. Strategia is then given an atomic wedgie by his own minion.

Ouch, that can't be good for your health. Want a Red Hot Poker Cannon to go with that?

[Renegade 13]

Puke said:
its actually quite difficult to maintain an optimal level of drunkenness. as your inhibitions go, the "one more!" syndrome becomes inescapable.

The trick is, i believe, to have just enough. and then to pace the rest out to one every 30-60 minutes, so that you neither clean up nor get tanked.

of course, this is something i will probably never manage, being bereft of any form of self control.



I totally agree. It's a tough thing to manage...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me takes out a pulse rifle and blasts Ashton into oblivion, leaving only a scorchmark on the wall, with his (it's) outline clearly visible.

[Growltigger]

Growltigga has been busy behind the bar, frantically scoffing pickled eggs, pork scratchings, marmite and soft boiled eggs and sauerkraut.

He whips off his trousers, puts on a gas mask, sticks his backside over the bar, points it at Strategia and NullAshton and lets rip.

The resulting blast of marsh gas and semi fermented sickly foods catapults all denizens out of the door and frankly leaves the cantina inhabitable for many years..

The FBWs all feint, and GT is awarded a medal for the multi-tonal twenty second rendition of God Save the Queen on Botty Burp machine....

GT hastally puts his kecks back on and retreats behind the bar (again).

[NullAshton]

Another clone dead... Why do you always have to try to shoot me?

[Growltigger]

I didn't shoot you, just asphyxiated you with some really stinky and noxious trouser trumpet related shennanigans

[NullAshton]

I was talking to Strategia. I'm going to stay out of here a while, while the fumes you released dies down...

[Puke]

hey, that sounded like a rendition of Sid Vicious's version of God Save the Queen. I didnt think they gave medals for that one.

[Growltigger]

Puke, they do give medals for national anthems when played through one's bottom....

Now, please can we all be upstanding for my multi-tonal august rendition of La Marseilles

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bummmmmm bum bum
Bum bum bum bummmmmmm
BUm bum bummmmmm
Phhhwwwweeeeeetttttttttt

Such range, such timbre

[NullAshton]

Ashton tosses a match into the bar, igniting the fumes. Growltigger now has most of his hair/fur on fire...

Methane is fun http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Growltigger]

Hey the Marseilles with fireworks

Growltigga's backside takes on the aspect of a French Mirage fighter kicking in to afterburnerrrrr

Da daaaaaaaa
Da da da da da
da da da bum titty ti bum
Au secours, mon derriere est flambe
Au secours, mon touche il est flamard
Alors, alors, merde zut alors......
Telephone la Pompierssss immediatement
Merde, vive la France

NullAshton ducks as the Gallic Grande Chat flambees him with a blast of superhot lit chuff gas

[Suicide Junkie]

*SuicideJunkie wanders in with a new arcade machine and sets it up in the corner:
http://free.hostdepartment.com/K/KattLatena/Combat-Heaven.swf

As it bleeps to life, the High Score table shows SJ with 12.2 million points.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ashton presses a button milliseconds before the wedgie is given, switching spatial positions between him, and Strategia. Strategia is then given an atomic wedgie by his own minion.

Ouch, that can't be good for your health. Want a Red Hot Poker Cannon to go with that?



Now that's why I keep shooting you..... you won't stop BUGGERING me!!!!!

Strategia takes out a pulse rifle, screws on a sniper scope and silencer, then takes aim for NA's errm..... dangly bits and squeezes the trigger. NA's eyes grow to the size of dinner plates, his mouth falls open and a high-pitched whine emerges from his throat.

"So much for reproduction, eh?"

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

GT, what did you say about Bud beer (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/supermart2)?

[Suicide Junkie]

WHOO!

*SJ stubles in with a stein and a plate of saurkraut and bratworst.

Just stopping by on a spare minute... Drove from Amsterdam to the hotel in Oberhausen the other day. Unfortunately, our rental car only goes 180 km/h, so we couldn't stay in the fast lane for more than a minute before people needed to pass us! Rode in a Porche up to 240 though, and got some video on the digital camera, I'll see about uploading it when I get back. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

Having all kinds of fun out here!

- SJ

[El_Phil]

So anyone stil serve drinks around here?

For the true speeding expereince I can only recommend Finland. The only country where I've been in a bus that was stopped for speeding by the police.

[Growltigger]

Wouldn't surprise me about Finland. I got stopped by an overjealous policeman last night. He said I was doing 35 in a 30 zone. Let me off with a warning but how anally retentive is that!!!

[Cipher7071]

....shimmmmmmmerrrr.....poooof....smolder....
Odd... I don't actually remember leaving this place, yet it seems I'm back. Hmmmmmm. Ah, yes. I was on that stool over.... What in God's name is that smell??

[Suicide Junkie]

Hey, folks;
Last day to get the free music up at the BBC:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio3/beethoven/downloads.shtml

[Fyron]

Those are some slow downloads...

[Suicide Junkie]

Well, considering that they're being slashdotted at the moment, the site being up at all is impressive http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Fyron]

That is some good music.

[mac5732]

ah, we missed Tesco's B-Day, Soooooooo....

The old one walks up to the bar dance floor and makes the follwoing announcement

Due to Missing The Old Snake's B-Day, we have decided to give the grey haired one (hehehe) a belated B-Day party. So everyone put on your party hats, break out the chilli and pizza, turn up the music, grab a FBW and lets get down and party for the newest aged one The Old Snake himself "Tesco", the old one walks over to several FBWs whispers in their ears , they smile and giggle and begin walking towards the B-Day boy with evil grins on their faces and silk scarfs in their hands........ http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Puke]

Deceptive things, those scarves. They look so soft and lovely, but their high tensile strength will be the bane of our hero, Tesco.

Cheers!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

As if his PBW starting regions aren't already bane enough for the poor guy..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[NullAshton]

The bar and grill dies... yet again... DIE YOU STUPID &amp;amp!

[El_Phil]

Hmmm, so starting the Sofa King Tasty Steak Joint right now could be an idea?

[NullAshton]

Nah, we still got the bar and grill. Anyone want some nice juicy steaks?

[El_Phil]

The pork or the lamb?

[Suicide Junkie]

Technically both, but also mutated for extra flavour.

[Renegade 13]

The only steaks worth eating are beef steaks. Don't bother with those inferior pork or lamb (shudder)

[NullAshton]

Mmm, bacon...

[Renegade 13]

NA, you're looking very...black today http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[mac5732]

steak is ok, but give me some good old Chili........ and a brewski or two to go with it..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Atrocities]

Nacho's are the best!

[Renegade 13]

mac5732 said:
steak is ok, but give me some good old Chili........ and a brewski or two to go with it..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif



I have to agree with you. Anything with beans in it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif Beans are one of the best foods I think. The brewski or two...well that covers one of the best beverages I can think of too http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/stupid.gif

[El_Phil]

A Brewski? In the Phong's Head?

What is the world coming too! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[mac5732]

This establishment is well known for its cuisine of various gendars of US and international Brewskis, why, we even have some from Canada. So if one is looking for that long sought after brewski brew they are so fond of, just ask the bartender or one of the FBW, they will fill your order with a smile, however, if you've been eating Chili and express yourself with the expulsion of certain polluted mixture of various air types, then, they may not smile but instead back off a little and present your brewski with a long pole .... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Renegade 13]

Mmmmm...Budweiser... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[El_Phil]

As I recall that phrase is considered fighting talk around here. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Am I the only one expecting the phong's head to go monotone, western music to play and customers to start slowly move for their holsters? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

For you Mac, Bring in the Can Can Girls! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[El_Phil]

Well I was expecting a piano to suddenly stop playing and evertone to start staring at Renegade whilst reaching for their holsters.

[Raging Deadstar]

El_Phil said:
Well I was expecting a piano to suddenly stop playing and evertone to start staring at Renegade whilst reaching for their holsters.



Close Enough, Now excuse me. As bartender I must follow western tradition and grow a large moustache, polish some large glass tankards and look nervously from the bar http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[El_Phil]

Possibly saying "We don't want no trouble here stranger. He was just being neighbourly."

[Renegade 13]

**Noting the suddenly hostile looks from nearby patrons, Renegade makes a show of grasping the chilled bottle, lifting it to his lips and takes a loooooooooong drink!**

[El_Phil]

Meanwhile the undertaker starts measuring him up for a coffin. He then realises that, given the clientele, Renegade is never going to get an open coffin funeral.

[NullAshton]

I'll protect Renegade! Right after I get dibs on his arm or leg...

[Renegade 13]

NA, you can have my arm. I have three after all, so I can do without one of them http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif Losing a leg would be...inconvenient.

I think it would be a wise time to fade back into my corner, before I'm further rended limb from limb.

**Renegade slips back to the shadows from whence he came (with his beer, of course), with only the greenish glow of his eyes to indicate his continuing presence.**

[Fyron]

Fyron sets about animating the bloated, defiled corpses of the hops and barley used to create that abomination into the living dead. He then outfits the newly risen horde with mint-flavored toothpicks and dented, used beer bottle caps for shields. After razing that most unholy of structures, the army marches tirelessly towards the Cantina...

Upon arriving, they find the incorrigible Renegade cowering in the shadows. Having powers far beyond those of normal hops and barley, the horde can clearly see his craven form in the darkness. The horde swarms about Renegade's feet, jabbing their tooth picks into his feet at every opportunity. Overcome with sickening weakness from having partaken of the Unamable Brew, Renegade quickly succumbs to the pain of the stabbings and tumbles forward, landing face first on the Cantina floor.

The hops and barley horde quickly surround Renegade and impale their toothpicks into him. Foisting him in the air, they quickly carry the cattle rancher, now moaning like a girl, to one of the back rooms where the local pub brews are stored. They pry off the lid of an especially large keg and dump Renegade inside. The lid is then sealed back on, leaving Renegade to ruminate upon his crimes.

[David E. Gervais]

David walks casually into the bar and pulls out a strange looking device. The room falls silent at the sight of the old pixelator and more than a little curiosity as to what he is about to do... Pfffffft Pop! He presses a button on the device and a large comfy looking ACME Inflatible chair springs out of thin air. David sits in the chair and orders a round of Drinks for the patrons,.. and says, "Could I get a table to go with this comfy chiar?"

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[El_Phil]

Hmmm that sounds like change. We fear change around here.

However with drinks all round we'll let you off, just this once. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[NullAshton]

Change can be GOOD. Gimme one of those pixelators http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Renegade 13]

**Renegade is bodily dumped into the keg and comes to the surface sputtering and coughing. The beer soothes the wounds sustained in the hops and barley massacre. Thankfully, there's a slight air pocket, and the keg isn't totally air-tight, so Renegade did not expire in the keg, as was undoubtedly the intent. Instead, the beer absorbs into Renegade's skin, creating a lumpy, swollen caricature of the once handsome cattle rancher's son (I'm no cattle rancher! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif )

After a short time spent recuperating, Renegade pops the lid off the keg and slithers out onto the floor with a sodden 'plop!'. Gasping on the floor, Renegade crawls to his corner...**

20 minutes later...

**A sudden rumbling sound is heard from the vicinity of the corner. As horrified patrons watch, a dust bunny rolls out into the light. Then another. Three more. Suddenly dozens, then hundreds of the 3 inch diameter dust bunnies (freshly endowed with semi-sentience) roll out into the light of the Bar and Grill. Rolling like an unstoppable juggernought towards the victorious hops and barley, they engulf their foe in clouds of hundreds of dusty fuzzy balls of doom! The screams were horrible...**

[Fyron]

The hops and barley horde struggled valiantly against the dust bunny onslaught, but their efforts were in vain. Whenever one managed to eviscerate a dust bunny, this simply caused the separated parts to continue the attack as smaller, more numerous dust bunnies.

After over half of the horde had fallen, a stroke of luck occured. Some absent-minded patron accidentally dropped his cigarette onto on of the hops that was engaged in furious battle with the dust bunnies. The patron was immediately sent to have a chat with Barry for his gross negligence. Being soaked in Unnamable Beer, though it be most foul, caused the hops to turn into a blazing inferno. Any dust bunny that attacked it immediately burst into flames and disintegrated.

Seeing the effectiveness of this new weapon, the nearby hops plunged their toothpicks into the smoldering corpse of the martyred hops. The barley, being none too bright, instead opted to set themselves on fire and charge directly into the most concentrated pocket of dust bunnies. Against suicidal barley and fire-armed hops, the dust bunny army was routed. The hops and the few surviving barley set their sights on the Cantina corner, marching towards the soaked, bloated Renegade. Unfortunately, their numbers were few.

[Renegade 13]

**Seeing their ingenious plan foiled, the decimated dust bunny army beat a hasty retreat to their home base, to nurse their wounds and plot horrible revenge.

Meanwhile, Renegade heaves his swollen, distended body from the corner, and quickly squeezes himself even further into the darkness. In that very same darkness, Renegade's newest, fiercest weapon is prepared to be released. The hops and barley, though decimated, are still a formidable enemy, but this new weapon should even the odds.

A low, familiar sound resounds through the cantina. As the first voice is heard, others join in, raising to a crescendo of sound that threatens to shake the rafters from the Cantina. Then the first shapes emerge from the darkness, and laughter erupts in the Cantina. The miniature cows march out in their dozens, to join battle against the hops and barley, which just happen to be very tasty to the mini cows.

The battle raged over the floor of the Cantina, with hops stabbing their flaming toothpicks into mini cows, and the miniature cows eating the barley and hops in return. In the end, the hops and barley were annihilated, with the last individuals being consumed after attempting to run for their lives.

Renegade orders the 6 inch cows to march towards the home base of the hops and barley, to attack their heinous master.**

[Raging Deadstar]

RD peers over his bar, now dressed in typical western waistcoat and bartender ensemble, at the marching army of 6 foot cows.

"Woahhhh!!! You bring your livestock in here you cleaning it up, pardner" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[El_Phil]

Does that apply to my cat heard? I've got ten thousand head of tabby that have to be over the ridge by the end of the month!

[Renegade 13]

Raging Deadstar said:
...army of 6 foot cows.

"Woahhhh!!! You bring your livestock in here you cleaning it up, pardner" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif


No problem barkeep, but since they're 6 inch cows, they shouldn't leave much more mess than a cat. Just think, free fertilizer! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Renegade 13 said:
No problem barkeep, but since they're 6 inch cows, they shouldn't leave much more mess than a cat. Just think, free fertilizer! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif



Oh i'm thinking free fertilizer, I'm also thinking it will be you shovelling it out the door http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Randallw]

I've been debating for the last day or so whether to post this link or not. I at least find the game very interesting, Just watch out for the break dancing rapper bear with the gun http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif. It's called "Dad and Me" and consists of beating up other kids in the playground.

http://www.inflash.com/x.php?link_id=7785

[Renegade 13]

Raging Deadstar said:
Oh i'm thinking free fertilizer, I'm also thinking it will be you shovelling it out the door http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif


Awww...ok, I guess that's fair. As long as it doesn't involve hornets http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gif

I got stung yesterday afternoon, and now my right eye is swollen shut and the entire right side of my face is a mass of swollen tissue. My face looks like a [censored] blimp!

[mac5732]

the old one wanders up to the bar and orders a brewski and his usual, looks around, must say its quiet around here, what ever happed to old GT, he did liven up the place with his red hot poker.. hahahahahahah

the wise one settles back in his favorite chair in the cornor and watches the FBWs doing some new gyrations on the dance floor.... he oogglleess the new outfits they're wearing, well, he mutters, some things are still the same.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

A dusty, slightly dishevelled-looking figure enters the Cantina, his lurching gait sufficiently unthreatening to prevent hops, barley, six-inch-cows and tabby cats from charging him. He stops two feet from the doorway, sureveying the ravaged battlefield and the fallen bodies of the barley, who sacrificed themselves, the hops, who were eaten en masse by the cows, the dust bunnies, who were flambéed down, and the cows, who simply fell down after having too much to eat.

"My my..... Some things never change....." the figure mumbles. Though soft, the sound of his voice is still recognized by a few patrons sitting nearby, who slowly turn their heads around to look at the new arrival. The figure moves to one of the empty tables, walking more upright than at first.

Before sitting down, he brushes some dust off his long coat. As he sits down, the billowing coat reveals a brief flash of military attire, clearly outdated by today's standards, but quite imposing nonetheless.

A pair of glowing green slits slowly emerge from the deepest darkness of the farthest corner of the Cantina, and Renegade can barely be made out, standing at the edge of the light, squinting suspiciously at the new arrival, who is looking at the floor, ordering a glass of mineral water. A low growl emerges from Renegade's gorge, rising in strength until it can be heard by the frightened patrons sitting nearby.

"Well go and see if that is who I think it is!" Renegade growls at the nearest cow. Reluctantly, the peacefully masticating animal gets up and lazily walks in the general direction of the unknown visitor. Upon arrival, the cow looks up inquiringly.

The visitor slowly turns his head and looks the cow straight in the eyes, which turn wide. A moment later, the cow collapses on the spot as a result of a fatal heart attack. Raging Deadstar's small retrieval-drones immediately skitter out from under the bar and take the cow to the kitchen.

"Yes..... some things indeed never change....." the figure spoke, and stood up.

Everybody in the Cantina froze.

[El_Phil]

"Yep the central heating around herea does need some repair work, hit by a rouge cow I suspect." El Phil speaks up from the corner of the bar. "Somebody chuck something on the fire, it'd freeze the nuts of a brass monkey around here."

A FBW delicately places an EEE on the fire and runs off a pace. The EEE slowly starts to shake before combusting in a stunning special effect, filling the entire cantina with an intense blue light.

The light fades and the cantina has warmed up nicely.[i]

[i]Everyobdy in the Cantina defrosted.

[NullAshton]

NullAshton sneaks in, hooking up an Infinite Improbability Generator up to the bar's power supply, activated whenever someone opens a door. He then sneaks away again.

[Fyron]

Fyron opens the main Cantina door and walks inside. As the most improbable event, the Infinite Improbability Generator suddenly spontaneously combusts and a new, non-hackneyed plot device emerges.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Yes, it's been quite a while since I was last here," the figure spoke in a clear voice, "I believe the last time I peeked in here you were discussing about Beethoven....." Having spoken these words, the figure - now identified by everyone as Strategia, the person who tried to destroy the Cantina on at least three or four separate occasions - walked to the front door at a calm pace.

Having reached the door, he opened it - which was followed by a large BANG as two hundred thousand monkey-shaped party balloons appeared out of nowhere and tried to cram themselves past the tall, still slightly dishevelled-looking man in the doorway. Activating a portable Unprobability Field generator, which disabled the Infinite Improbability Generator for the time being, he reached into his coat and pulled out an old, slightly dented weapon. Lifting his head up, he adressed everybody in the bar in a calm voice - or, as calm as a voice could possibly be, when its owner was simultaneously trying to prevent two hundred thousand simian balloons from passing him.

"Yes..... an old favorite of mine. I remember the days when it saw a lot of action..... Days which, I hope, will soon return....."

With that, he brushed a speck of dust off the plasma launcher's barrel and lifted it up. Quickly, he took a step back and opened fire. The first shot vaporized about fifty thousand of the squealing rubber animals, leaving a large open space which was rapidly filled with twice as many floating monkeys. A Gibbon balloon was trying to squeeze a Chimpanzee balloon back through the doorway, while simultaneously being repeatedly hit by an Orang-Utan balloon. A low hum was rising, quickly filling the entire bar.

A split second later, the second, far more powerful plasma shot caused a blinding flash of red light as it sprang from the barrel. Hitting the Gibbon balloon head-on, it disappeared into its left nostril before exploding. The fortress-buster plasma bullet caused an explosion so profoundly huge, that the Cantina shook, and a car could be heard trying to engage the upper balconies of a nearby flat in polite conversation.

With the monkeys gone, Strategia stepped outside, coat billowing as the last flows of air caused by the explosion died down. A low growl could be heard, and heavy footsteps approached the figure. "Down!" he said in a commanding voice, clearly displaying the plasma launcher. A whimper was clearly heard, and heavy but cautious footsteps indicated Barry was backing away.

"I think it's time I raised another army..... Hmm..... Let's see..... Mutated cheeses haven't been deployed yet, if I'm not mistaken....." could be heard as Strategia was walking to his shuttle.....

[NullAshton]

NullAshton scratches his head in his ship a good distance away from the Bar and Grill, wondering why the Bar and Grill suddenly turned into a floating D&amp;D dungeon.

[Kamog]

Hi, is this place still open for business? It's been kind of quiet... I hope they still have good food and friendly FBW's here. And the occasional violence! Hmm, I wonder if saying certain words still cause a pile of stuff to fall from the sky. Not going to try it yet, though.

[El_Phil]

Well I asked for a Phongsicle tommorow and it's just appeared, so I guess the temporal penguins are still working in the kitchens.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

With Kamog sitting at a table, having a chilled EEEguerita, Phil looking at his Phongsicle inquiringly and the two green slits having retreated further into the darkness, peace has returneth to the Cantina, though the remnants of the last battle can still be seen; the bodies of barley, hops and dust bunnies, as well as calmly chewing cows, litter the floor. Ashton proceeds to the bathroom and promptly slips on a cow-pie (or cow-petit four, regarding the fact that the cows are 6 inches tall), falling bodily into a largish puddle of the stuff. Cursing, he gets up and resumes his journey.

[NullAshton]

Ashton quickly has pay-back. A group of 5 Daleks, recently aquired by NullAshton, enter the Bar and Grill, looking for Strategia. Once he is found, they go towards him menacingly. Strategia tries to shoot them with his plasma cannon, but his bolts dissapate harmlessly off the armor. "Ex-ter-min-ate" was uttered by the Daleks as one of then reaches out with a plunger-like device as Strategia backs up. Muffled screaming can be heard as the Dalek goes towards the bathroom, with even more screaming heard once the men's bathroom door is closed.

[El_Phil]

El Phil looks on at the gently vibrating toilet block

I knew the plumbing in there was bad, but this is ridiculous.

Subtly El Phil checks that his army of furry beasts are ready to drop pod in at a moment notice, if the need arises. Or it seems a funny idea at the time.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Suddenly, the bathroom door blasts open and out comes Strategia, eyes glowing yellow. The daleks are falling over themselves trying to flee.

[NullAshton]

That's what I get for buying the used daleks...

Ashton goes to persuade Phil to release the furry beats on Strategia.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

shaking his head, the yellow glow disappears from Strategia's eyes.

"Phew. Somebody must've slipped a drop of The Abomination into that mineral water. That gives me an idea....."

talking into a comms device, Strategia returns to the safety of the bathroom. Moments later, the Cantina entrance bursts open as all surviving Salagull veterans come flying through.

Wildly trying to avoid the shots fired from patrons' pistols, they unleash their payloads, and gallon upon gallon of The Unnamable Brew rains down upon the patrons, who start to dissolve.....

[NullAshton]

Ashton whistles as he takes out a pocket Infinite Improbability Generator, and presses the big red button on it. The Salagull veterans mysteriously turns into canned grape sodas, and fall to the ground harmlessly. He then decides to stay in the bar, ready to press the button again.

[El_Phil]

A small 'click' is heard coming from El Phil's pocket There is a pregnant pause.....



Nothing happens and the patrons let out their held breath. Then the roof of the cantina caves in as several dozen drop pods smash through it. Each pod bursts open to reveal a squad of heavily armed pandas carrying plungers and large bags. As one they rush into the toilets.

As the dust settles on the side of the pods the immortal legend "Emergency Plumbers" can dimly be made out.

[Suicide Junkie]

SJ walks in carrying a large package, and goes about unpacking it near his personal table. As the dust clears, a plaque can be seen on the wall, bearing a dark coloured, slightly inconspicuous feline head.

SJ sits below, grinning as if a 4th-place replacement player had, in a single turn, managed to slaughter 75% of the first place player's military in a PBW game.

A round of Brewskis for everyone, on me!

[douglas]

Most impressive, SJ, but I'm afraid it just isn't quite up to my standards for causing mayhem from an initially inferior position. Why, I was all the way down at 10th place when I joined...

Douglas wanders off, lost in musings about turn 2409.6 of PBW game Shattered Hopes with its 29 "Star Destroyed" log messages http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[NullAshton]

Hehe, that was sweet.

[Renegade 13]

That hurt! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[douglas]

And now, almost 70 turns later, it's me vs Glyn and we both launch major attacks exactly simultaneously. This is going to be... interesting. Hmm, I do have the speed advantage thanks to Propulsion Experts, so I could track down and destroy his fleet eventually, but all the fighting would be in my space. My economy can take some major hurt though, and I might end up with a significant fleet left to attack a comparatively defenseless foe. On the other hand, his economy can't take anywhere near as much damage as mine can, so mutual destruction might favor me... This is going to require serious thought. Now if only I'd waited just one more turn... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

[NullAshton]

The Kyoryu Imperium donates a system gravitational shield to the B&amp;G, so that douglas and his fleet of sun crushers shall not damage this fine facility. Now gimme free drinks.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

*Strategia promptly nukes the shield-gen using his orbital plasma launchers. Douglas is seen with a big evil grin across his face.*

[El_Phil]

The reality police walk in. They don't look very happy. Their gaze crosses the room until they find their target. Moving as one they reach out and drag Strategia away for 'nuking' something with plasma based weaponry.

"Now now son. Don't fight, your just making things worse for yourself."

Kicking and screaming Strategia is dragged from the Cantina.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

While kicking and screaming, Strategia accidentally (suuuuuure) kicks Phil in the head. Phil then clutches his lower abdomen in pain, and is also dragged out, mainly because of his nit-picky behaviour regarding nuking stuff with plasma launchere..

By the way, plasma is an atomic weapon of sorts; it consists of superheated ionized atoms, i.e. nuclei, so it is a nuclear weapon. You can nuke something with plasma launchers. End of argument.

For having proven his statement to be right, the Reality Police release Strategia after questioning, though not without subjecting him to a full cavity search. Phil is not so lucky however.....

[NullAshton]

Does something undergo fission, or fusion? Nope.

Strategia is re-arrested and placed in reality jail for twice as long, since he tried bribing the police. Phil is set free.

[El_Phil]

Indeed Phil is not as lucky as Strategia.. He is far more lucky and recieves a sincere apology and his own weight in gold as compensation for false arrest. To top it off it he then wins the Regulus System lottery. This can only mean one thing:

"Brewskis all round!"

As Strategia is hauled away in a reality police prison van a faint cry can be heard, even through the thick, thick armour.

"I'll get you next time Phil! Next time!!!!"

[Renegade 13]

Wooo, free brewski's! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif I'm there.

[Kamog]

Free brewski? I'm not sure what a brewski is, but sure, I'll drink it. I'm guessing that it's something like beer and it's hard to say no when it's free.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

With a resounding SPLORCH, the Reality Prison explodes, everything and everybody inside reduced to gooey bubbly rubble, save for a single figure standing in the blast's centre.

"PHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!" the figure screams at the top of his lungs.

Three seconds later, a fighter swoops down to pick Strategia up and return him to his Mothership, to plan his gruesome revenge.....

[Alneyan]

Free brewskies? *Grumbles, and sits at RD's table* The usual fare for me.

[NullAshton]

NullAshton classifies Strategia as armed and dangerous, and a fleet of Beamer dreadnaughts zoom in through a recently opened warppoint, to surround Strategia's battleship, which was recently captured by crew insurrection.

Surrender your weapons, and yourself, right now, or our troops will attack!

[El_Phil]

AUs from the battle Phil smiles at a FBW and gets another drink in. The toilet door swings open and the armed Plumdas amble out reporting that the plumbing has been repaired. They climb into their drop pods and return to their orbiting white van.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

NullAshton said:
Does something undergo fission, or fusion? Nope.



Plasma IS fusion. Plasma is a mass of fusing atoms. Look at the sun. (Or rather don't, otherwise we'll be forced to do without you (whoever it is I'm talking to) until the Braille keyboard arrives.....)

[Suicide Junkie]

That is totally untrue.

Atoms which have been ionized form a plasma.
IE: the electrons have been stripped off.

Plasma is a soup of nuclei and independent electrons, fusion and fission have nothing to do with it.

-

The temperatures required for fusion in the sun are hot enough to make it all into plasma, but plasma does not imply nuclear reactions of any sort.

[El_Phil]

No it isn't. Not even a little bit. Your confusing two concepts there. If your doing magnetic containment fusion then yes you need a plasma. However a plasma isn't fusion.

Plasma is a ionised gas. Nothing more. Hell lightning strikes produce plasma as do arc welders. Are you claiming that we could just scrub nuclear fusion research and use a few arc welders to power the world?

[Renegade 13]

Ah hell. All we need to do is begin to actually produce significant amounts of anti-matter. Current worldwide production per year is currently miniscule, but I was reading in Astronomy magazine that a quarter of an ounce of antimatter would provide sufficient energy to power all the world's lightbulbs for 20 days. Now that is a power source!

[douglas]

Renegade 13 said:
Ah hell. All we need to do is begin to actually produce significant amounts of anti-matter. Current worldwide production per year is currently miniscule, but I was reading in Astronomy magazine that a quarter of an ounce of antimatter would provide sufficient energy to power all the world's lightbulbs for 20 days. Now that is a power source!


Problem is, it would taken even more than that much energy to make a quarter of an ounce of antimatter, and there's no way we could perfectly utilize all of the energy released without loss.

It's the same problem with using hydrogen as car fuel - it makes an excellent energy storage medium, but unless you can find large amounts of it in a usable state in nature, it's useless as an energy source. Sure, hydrogen is the most abundant element in the universe. It is rather less abundant on Earth, and most of it is in various compounds, such as oil and water.

[Renegade 13]

True. Every energy "source" on the planet is actually utilizing solar radiation.

[Suicide Junkie]

That, or supernova shrapnel.

*A small energy disturbance appears near the bar before fizzling out.
After a few more tries, it finally blossoms into a misty blue warppoint (http://www.strategyfirst.com/forum/cgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=53;t=000004), and the faint smell of coconuts and ocean spray begins to waft through.

[El_Phil]

Wasn't there a rule against advertising rival drinking establishments? As I recall the consequences of breaking it involved the evil doer in question, an enraged Yak, a copy of "Angling Times", a standard 300 Volt EEE cattleprod and a large baying mob.

[Suicide Junkie]

Its hardly a rival.
More like another franchise in the chain.

Besides, I merely gave Renegade the antique warppoint opener. He's the one who used it.

[NullAshton]

Eee cattleprods? I gotta get my hand on one of those... Are you sure 300 volts is high enough?

Anyway, for the antimatter, just find a warppoint to a nearby anti-matter jet. Problem solved! Of course, the revised Geneva Treaty bans anti-matter weapons, if I remember correctly. Those people who have those anti-matter torpedos are breaking this treaty, and should be destroyed. Besides, anti-matter torpedos suck.

[Renegade 13]

Suicide Junkie said:
Its hardly a rival.
More like another franchise in the chain.

Besides, I merely gave Renegade the antique warppoint opener. He's the one who used it.


Hey, you set me up! And that antique only had a range of 100 light years, could barely reach all the way over here http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[El_Phil]

Yes but Quantum torps are hardly much better. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

Anyway SJ could be done for the entrapment of Renegade, which sounds somewhat unpleasent if you ask me.

I don't know, promoting a rival chain, entraping an innocent(ish http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Canadian. Your crimes just keep racking up SJ. I hope you have a good lawyer.

[Suicide Junkie]

Who needs a lawyer when you can just not fake your own death. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[TurinTurambar]

Turin is inexplicably drawn to, and saunters meaningfully toward the smell of salt air and piña colada...

[mac5732]

Hearing about "Free Brewskis", the wizen old one saunders into the establishment, looks at everyone, waves, staggers over to his table and orders a few free brewskis, Now this is the way to start the day he yells as a FBW brings him his order, ahhhh, he mutters as he swigs the lst one down. He slowly looks around making sure that his arch pizza thief is not if sight and seeing the grey one not here, orders a pizza... then sits back to watch the shananigans going on....

[Puke]

even free beer comes with a price. as the bar tender begins to draw a pint, a horrible stream of bile begins to gush fourth from the tap. He tries to shut of off, but it remains open until it has disgourged a sizeable mass of quickly-congealing vomit.

The newly formed pile blinks, and looks about the room;

puke is here.

[Renegade 13]

When bile blinks, that's when you know you've had way way way too much of...something.

[Raging Deadstar]

Puke said:
even free beer comes with a price. as the bar tender begins to draw a pint, a horrible stream of bile begins to gush fourth from the tap. He tries to shut of off, but it remains open until it has disgourged a sizeable mass of quickly-congealing vomit.

The newly formed pile blinks, and looks about the room;

puke is here.



RD looks in horror as Puke essentially enters through one of the taps. He vaguely considers trying to get him on the charge of being behind the bar but decides that he best go check the brewski supplies instead...

[El_Phil]

This sounds like a job for.... Plumdas!

The newly repaired roof caves in, again, as a drop pod hurtles down from the orbiting white van. The PlumbingPandas head straight for the cellar to check the beer supply taps.

The sound of vicious fighting errupts from under the Cantina. The occasional scream and whimper tear through the air.

"Of course RD is very protective of his brewski supplies. I suppose I should have remembered that."