Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Renegade 13]

The hooded figure, head down on the table in front of him, mumbles incoherently in his slumber.

"....(mumble, mumble)....(muffled shout)...GASOLINE!...(mumble, snort, mumble....)"

EDIT: 1500th reply to the thread! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[AdmiralMartin]

But the bar is closed...

[NullAshton]

Ashton plants explosive charges on the closed sign, and on the doors, and whistles while walking away, pressing the detonation button. BOOM!

Not anymore!

[Raging Deadstar]

"The Bar is open, except to all who threaten the patron beverage of Her Majesty the Queen."

[Renegade 13]

Guess I'll have to quit working on my nefarious plot to rid the world of that most horrible of beverages.

[mac5732]

the old wize one, puts up the open again, remodeling completed, bar and kitchen are open, FBW are on duty for your cuisine pleasures......

(of course the cost of the remodel was put on Tim's and Richard's tabs and Gt's to help spread the cost around http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[mac5732]

bump http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Renegade 13]

Hey, that hurt!

[mac5732]

bump, have to keep it a going, before the Fyron Minions, eradicate the thread http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Renegade 13]

So Mac, does this make you one of those 'Things that go bump in the night'? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[mac5732]

just because I'm older then most of you young whipper snappers doesn't mean i still can't do the "bumpity bump http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif hohohohoh

cough cough have to recharge .......

[mac5732]

must waaarn all new forum members,,, do not, repeat, do not.. mention in any form the "O" word http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Renegade 13]

Okra?? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Onomatopoeia? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Puke]

Orthography?

[Kamog]

Here's a hint: it's a vegetable that begins with O. It's a vegetable that has many layers; it's a kind of bulb. You cut it and it makes you cry.

But here's an old question that nobody seems to know the answer to: What does "circle the wagons" mean??? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/confused.gif

[NullAshton]

On... oh. Okay, shouldn't say that word.

Custom of bringing the wagons into a circle when being attacked, hiding in the center and having the advantage of attackers having to move through the circle to attack.

[Renegade 13]

"Circle the Wagons" in reference to Gryphin. Before your time NA http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif Almost before my time here.

[primitive]

The door opens with a bang and a burly barbarian strides into the cantina (eh sorry, bar/grill) carrying a rusty (yet pointy) spear.

Hushed whispers can be heard at the tables.
- Could it be ?
- Nah it surly can’t. He’s gone forever to richer hunting grounds.
- It sure looks like him.
- Smells like him too..

The big barbarian walks up to the bar and orders his favourite drink (silently crushing the tiny umbrella hoping nobody will notice) and turns to watch the crowd. Some old faces, some new. Some a bit greyer, some young pups grown into men. All still ugly as hell though.

Tracing runes of protection in the air with his rusty (yet pointy) spear he creates a magic bubble around himself and whisper the magic word: Onion

Tons of onions starts falling from the rafters pinning the proprietors to their seats. Only the Primitive one is free to move in his magical bubble.

Being sure of having everyone’s attention the big guy smiles and says: Missed me ?

Hi guys, been a while.

Got an e-mail yesterday from one of you about poker and I realised I have missed yall and owe you a little update. My Poker playing is going great and I’m now playing semi professionally. Mostly grinding at mid levels at the internet but I’ve also done some of the major live tournaments. Yet to score in those though so the big riches have eluded me (so far). Still, making more dough now than I did working full time. I’m also working on a web project that may or may not be launched in a few months time. No time for any SEIV unfortunately.

Drawing another rune, the Primitive one conjures up 200 French Chefs. Ecstatic they picks up the onions and runs off to make French Onion Soup.

Hmmm,
Why do you all have tears in your eyes. Is it the onions or is it me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Kamog]

Hello, Primitive, welcome back, it's good to see you here. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Renegade 13]

Good to see you again Primitive. Been a while. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Renegade slinks off to his customary corner, hood firmly entrenched over his head, trying not to gag as the horrid stench of foul root-like vegetables overwhelms his olfactory senses. Green eyes gleaming beneath the hood, Renegade rests his head on his hands, attempting to sleep...though with the horrible stench, it's not likely.

[David E. Gervais]

sitting at my corner table beside my fake window with the fake rain drizzling down I notice the tall burly barbairin walk into the bar. I was mildly amused by the torrent of ongions, but ongions make me Fart! I let a few dozen silent (but stinky) gas leaks escape my buttocks..

LoL, welcome back Primitive, I'm still lurking, your post caused me to de-lurk. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

..now back to the land of lurk..

[Raging Deadstar]

Renegade 13 said:
"Circle the Wagons" in reference to Gryphin. Before your time NA http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif Almost before my time here.



That and the "Gryphin Position" was the topic at the time when I first stumbled into the Cantina.

I didn't stay just for that mind you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Welcome back Primitive, has your journey into Poker provided you with a deeper insight into "pillage, then burn?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/smirk.gif

[mac5732]

Hi Primitive, good to see ya back and to know your poker is going well

in regards to circle the wagons.... in this essance of use on this particular theme, it does not mean the common tongue of circling the wagons to fight off menacing, hairy nasties... It pertains to a certain form of enlightenment to satisy the urges of ones basic nature. However, the theories and hypothosis that were put forth to describe said ritual have still to be approved by the Gryphin who is now the Grey One. In conjunction with "circle the wagons" another form was also put forward which was the "Gryphin Position" alas, this too has never been fully explored or explained and the theories, conjectures, and hypothosis and descriptions of this raw, basic, natural, ritualistic behaviour has never been fully explored, ratioinalized, or admitted to by said parties involved in the original discussions of these 2 most memorable rituals. For further inforation, I would suggest you go back into the archives and look back when the lst cantina was born and the discussions concering the aforementioned were lst brought up and discussed. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif If the great furry Kat Growltigga is around, he may further enlighten you on these topics as he took part in the initital discussions with the Gryphin)now Greyone), myself, Tesco and a few others. it makes for good reading and is one of the classic discussion threads. (ps. if you blush easilty, then this discussion is not for you) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[mac5732]

The old wize one watches as the back again essance of Primitive laughs and moves away after casting forth the banned "o" word. He's been gone to long, the wize one muses, he forgets, no one is immune to the "O" gods....
just then the roof of the cantina raises up, and the largest, most ugliest of giant Onions looks down on the small, puny, primitive.. One never learns it belches forth, and then the thin covering slides down and envelopes primitive and his failing force field.... he is dragged up screaming, crying and begging for forgiveness, but alas, it was to no avail.... A huge maw opens on the countenance of the Onion God, and swallows the primitive, with a crunching sound, and then gives forth a loud belch, smiles and leaves leaving behind a a disolved force field, and a slimy, grease mark where the primitive once stood...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Renegade 13]

mac5732 said:
If the great furry Kat Growltigga is around, he may further enlighten you on these topics as he took part in the initital discussions with the Gryphin)now Greyone), myself, Tesco and a few others.

He might also enlighten you as to the use of the venerable Red Hot Poker Cannon™. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif

[TurinTurambar]

"Mushrooms!" Turin blurts out randomly.

[Puke]

you know full well that there was nothing random about that blurting.

[TurinTurambar]

you know full well that there was nothing random about that blurting.




Yes, but without seeming randomness, it's more of a call for challenge than an invitation of mayhem... so I had to try for random.

[i]Turin holds his forearm up as it to check his watch, and several slimey grey shapes materialize above the electronic device on his wrist. With the push of a button, the fungal projectiles streak in rapid fire succession at the "miserable vomitous mass" named Puke and plunge messily into his disheveled form... spraying several patrons with his bile-like essence...[i]

<EDIT:> "Weeeeeeeeeeeee! 700 posts..."

[Puke]

the mass of bile undulates, and soon small lumps appear on its surface. as the vomit coverd shroomlings erupt back out of Puke, he takes a swig of 151 and (after quickly gargling) sprays it out over the regergitated mushrooms.

with the wave of a bar candle, the litte formation of vomitey fungi are ignited into burning mushrooms of doom, and they march with flaming menace towards Turin's table.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

We need another hybrid animal invasion to liven things up I think.....

[Puke]

what? flaming, bile-covered mushrooms aren't good enough for you?

[Raging Deadstar]

"For those wanting to place an anonymous tip about Strat to PETA, there's a pay-phone in the back."

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

"..What?"

[NullAshton]

You know, I believe my food processor robots are still around...

[TurinTurambar]

With the wave of a bar candle, the litte formation of vomitey fungi are ignited into burning mushrooms of doom, and they march with flaming menace towards Turin's table.




The "Burning Mushrooms of Doom", now sentient food-stuffs since embued with the essence of Puke, seem unaware that their high level of malice is not paired with high stature! As they march amongst the tables in ranks of three, scarring and charring the floorboards in their wake, their tiny new lives of hatred are snuffed out one-by-one by the unwitting boots of B&G patrons. A solitary flaming fungus reaches the table of the Turambar, whereupon he makes a disgusting sound in his throat, hocks up a pearlescent green loogie, and extinguishes the fierce little beast with a flippant "P'tui".

No, apparently flaming bile-covered mushrooms are not enough! Oh well, easy come easy go...

[Black_Knyght]

[i] A long, slow trembling sensation starts to rumbled through the ground beneath everyones feet. Slowly, but steadily, the vibrations grow in intensity. Cups rattle over and off the edges of tables, pictures on the walls tilt madly and fall crashing to the floor, pointless bling-bling jingles like Santa's sleigh-bells......

Then, with a tremendous crash, the front doors fly open and through bursts a man in a stained and dirty lab coat. He dashes into the middle of the room, pauses and cathes his breath.

Then, as the smell of something....just wrong....begins to permeate the room he suddenly stands bolt upright and screams...."<font color="red">RUN FOR YOUR LIVES !!! THE SKUNKUPINES HAVE BROKEN LOOSE, AND THEIR HEADED THIS WAY !!!</font>", turns and flees out the door again. He can be heard mumbling something about hybrid animals and having "oopsed" again.......

[Renegade 13]

Renegade is roused from his slumber by some incoherent shouts, the smell of roasting floorboards (not to mention the horrid smell of mushrooms!) and what feels like a mini-earthquake. Yawning hugely, he stretches, then gets to his feet. Jumping easily into the rafters to be safe from the coming projectiles, and to have a good view, Renegade pauses.

A few seconds later, a fierce rain appears to pound the Cantina roof. The 'rain' seeps through the leaky roof, landing in gloops on the floor. The puddles coalesce, forming several large, jelly-like masses. The jelly forms a number of pseudopods to manipulate objects, and begins tearing up small portions of floorboard. Using each other as slingshots, the woooden projectiles are flung with great force from the jelly-like apparition at the preoccupied Turin and BlackKnyght...stopping occaisionally to lob a hunk of wood at Puke, as homage to their similar forms, and yet oddly different compositions. Sentient Puke vs. sentient jelly-like gloop!

[NullAshton]

Ashton walks into a time capsule, and sends himself a few days into the future, when the skunkupine invasion has finished.

[Puke]

good gods, man. sentient gloop hurling floorboards? incoming skunkupines? and why did Ashton just run into the broom closet? Doesnt he know that time machine was sold on ebay weeks ago?

but wait, theres a method to this *ow* -- who hit me with a floorboard? -- method to this madness. That gloop is pulling up floorboards and making a track. it leads from the door, to the...

just then dozens of small creatures covered in black spines with white racing stripes pour through the door. they are coralled by the reshaped floorboards, and they run in a nice arcing path to the broom closet.

non-chalantly, puke closes the door behind them.

a cry of suppries is followed by yelps of pain, and a slowly wafting but increasing stench.

man, now how are we going to get the smell out of here? and how long do you think it will take them in that closet with Ashton, before they run out of quills?

And is this gloop going to clean its self up, or *ow!* hey, quit hitting me with floor boards!

[Black_Knyght]

As odd sounds, miasmic fumes, and yelps of pain all emminate from the closed broom closet, Black Knyght drops to one knee on the floor, tipping the table on it's side in front of him for use as a crude shield against the hurled bits of floor-boarding. Grabbing his twin chrome-plated Colt 3045's, he begins popping off the mucusoid menaces with well-aimed bursts of high-energy plasma, occasionally popping off a shot at Puke, as he oddly resembles the slimy monsters flinging floor-boards.

From the tight confines of the closet is heard the voice of Ashton, with a new ring of panic to it.

"Hey, whatya think you're doing with that? Put that thing away! Whoa, no, not there !!! No, no, Aaaaghh, hey cut that out, ouch, ouch, ouch......"

Several minutes of this disquieting discourse is heard, then the door slides slowly open and a multitude of quill covered striped noses peer out. The Skunkupines begin to dash, en masse, around the corner of the bar. The Skunkupines, thirsty from their long stampede, begin rifling through the various bottles and decanters found there. One rather large fellow wanders out of the closet, bearing a huge grin and smoking a cigarette.....

[mac5732]

the old one watches the goings on, smiles and mutters to himself, ah,, everything is back to normal here... he then orders his usual brewski, bacon, eggs, hash browns and rye toast...

[Renegade 13]

His blobs of gelatinous matter destroyed, Renegade attempts to blend into the rafters, hoping no one notices a slightly darker patch amongst the omnipresent darkness...and hoping no one desired revenge after being floorboarded!

[Raging Deadstar]

RD Quickly grabs one of his comically over-sized six-shooters, the ones that fire 7 shots. There's the sound of impossibly loud gunshots, a rotten smell and interesting curse words.

"If you're monsters touch anything behind this here bar, it's on your TAB!"

The announcement is made less intimidating by a clothespin on RD's nose.

[Black_Knyght]

One by one, dozens of Skunkupine heads pop up over the edges of the Bar. They look at one another and start muttering to each other. Suddenly, several jump up onto the counter and grabbed their neighbor, hoisting them up and aiming the backside at Raging Deadstar.

Silence fills the room, except for the faintest of groans coming from the still-reeking closet.

In unison, they grasp the tail of their partner and cock it back with an audible "caa-chik".....

[Puke]

covered with scorch marks, and with splintered chunks of floor boards sticking out of him, a look of panic washed over puke's... ...features

in slow motion, RD shakes his head as the lead skunkupine calls out the order: "Fffffffffiiiiiiiiii-----"

Puke leaps through the air, and describes a gracefull arc towards the bar "iiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrr-----"

As a large mass of vomit, Puke can disable his olfactory senses when the need arises. But more important things need to be saved. With a wet *splork* he lands.

"rrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee!" and the skunkupines discharge their oily stench. RD is coated with truely horid things, and his eyes begin to burn and water.

Fortuneatly, a large mass of vomit is covering all of the taps. With a newly formed pseudopod, puke turns on the one labled "Spaten" and with the two little shovels on it. Ahh. the beer is safe.



what? no one else thinks its good that their taps are covered in vomit? what?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

As if the pandemonium wasn't enough as it was, an eardrum-rending scream suddenly penetrates the Cantina, getting louder and louder.

"Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnn!!! !! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHNN NNNNNNNN!!!!!"

All patrons get a stunning (literally, the scream's pitch is high enough to paralyze the brain stem for a short while) demonstration of the Doppler effect, as a figure recognized by some as The Dreaded Strategia bursts through the front door, crashes through the bar, creates a gaping hole in the rear wall, leaves a trail of destruction through the back area and smashes right through the rear wall, to vanish in the night, still screaming.

[Raging Deadstar]

Perhaps the stench of the skunkupine is also effecting his brain, but as they discharge their stinky weeapon RD is hit with an image, that of growltigga and the glorious fights of old, the red hot poker cannon.

He raises one of his six shooters and fires a bullet at the lead skunkupine's... 'jacksey'. The result is a incendiary explosion which RD misses the brunt of, passing out from the awful smell behind the bar.

* Cartoon Physics state that noxious gases are flammable.

[Puke]

Many noxious gasses ARE flamable. I think the particular you are after, is that in cartoons skunks would be farting methane instead of spraying an oil.

As if I didnt already have enough scorch marks on me from the Texan's blaster, RD's muzzel flash sets of a FAE generated by the skunk emissions. The skunkupines are blown across the room, and bounce about, rolling like pillbugs.

The pressure wave blows Puke off the taps, and spatters him all over Turin.

Great, now I have to re-coallesce.

[TurinTurambar]

Turin's reaction of course is a sharp intake of breath, which at this instant of course is a very bad idea. With Skunkupine oil-stench filling his nostrils and and "Essence of Puke" spattering the back of his throat, Turin vomits noisily and slumps into a retching pile under his table...

[mac5732]

The old one looks at the possible Brewski Destruction. THATS IT HE YELLS

HERE YE HERE YE, THE BREW TAPS AND BREWSKIS ARE OFF LIMITS TO ALL MEYHEM AND VIOLENCE IN THIS HERE CANTINA. THEY MUST BE PROTECTED ALONG WITH ALL FBWS....

VIOLATION OF THIS SHALL BE UNDESCRIBABLE

SOME THINGS ARE SACRED AND THE TAPS AND BREWSKIS ARE SOME...


Completeing his long winded speech. the old one thks the putris mass for protecting the brewskis and gives him a medallion which will protect him from the lew worshipers...
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[mac5732]

bump, wow, didn't mean to scare everyone off http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif

[Renegade 13]

Well you know Mac, you're pretty scary! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Black_Knyght]

The Skunkupines, stunned and shaken, slowly gather their wits. As the aftermath of RD's preemptive strike sinks in, they begin to seeth with rage and huddle to strategize. Beedy little eyes occasionally peer up over the huddled mass of odorous quills....

Quietly, off in a corner near the closet, a rather large Skunkupine sits up and shakes clarity back into his head. He eyes the ajar closet door, and upon hearing a faint moan eminate from Ashton within it's dark confines gets to his feet and slowly wanders towards the closet again with an unnerving gleam in his eyes....

[Cipher7071]

(Shimmmmerrrrrr....pop!)
Arriving upon an empty barstool in the usual manner, from his lair deep within the Mandelbrot set, Cipher7071 examines the scene.

"Aaaah... Barkeep, Some ale in a well-sealed bottle for me, I think. My sense of smell has never been very good, but this really is appalling. Isn't there something we can do?"

[Renegade 13]

Renegade regains consciousness after falling asleep for quite some time. Shaking his head groggily, he moans and says:

"Nooooooooo! I don't wanna go to work!"

Then with an amazing feat of ingenuity, skill and artificially enhanced muscles, he leaps into the rafters then through the roof. But not before leaving one message for the patrons...

"I'll be back tomorrow! You'll never see the last of me, you can never defeat me! My megalomania will smother you all in a stifling layer of arrogant egotistical large words! Muahahaha...!"

[Black_Knyght]

What?, did the regrouping skunkupines scare everybody off?

[TurinTurambar]

Turin is still vomitting noisily under his table....

[Black_Knyght]

[i]The huddled mass of Skunkupines suddenly quiets, and then condenses a bit tighter. The long, spiny quills on the backs of each Skunkupine suddenly stand alarmingly erect and the prickly huddle slowly scurries towards the center of the room. Once there, a brief pause ensues and a single set of beady eyes peers over the mass and slowly studies the occupents of the room, taking note of the sudden departure of Renegade 13 &amp; unexpected arrival of Cipher 7071 before popping back down into the awaiting Skunkupines. The huddled mass of odorous, barbed quills shuffles slightly to the right, then a bit to the left, then forward a tiny bit more. A series of quickly barked sounds is heard, and the circular mass begins to slowly rotate, increasing in speed with each step.....

[Puke]

puke daintily picks himself up and balances on top of a chair. not to leave his comrades stranded in a potential kill-zone, he extends a pseudopod under Turin's table and absorbs the vomit into the greater-whole.

A slightly larger puke balances on top his chair. Turin is confused and astonishingly clean, but still under his table as the skunkupines spin across the floor like a dervish.

[Raging Deadstar]

RD picks himself up from the methane blast.

Drinks on the house! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif I've got a Job Interview with the British Red Cross today so fingers/pseudopods/whatever crossed http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[mac5732]

bump, don't want to lose it and have to look for it again http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Black_Knyght]

The slowly rotating mass of Skunkupines picks up speed, moving faster and faster and faster, until it appears as an odorous whirling tornado in the center of the room. A strange, low undulating sound begins to eminate from the spinning mass of quills...

[Puke]

puke hops on top of the nearest table, and wields his chair like a lion-tamer - fending off the tornado of skunkupines

[Growltiger]

You are all weird, completely weird

[Growltiger]

And I still have the red hot poker hand cannon!!

[Renegade 13]

Renegade's jaw drops as he sees the venerable Growltigga enter the B&amp;G, RHPC in hand. Shaking himself, he realizes that GT's long absence likely means he no longer has the desire to weild his weapon of anal agony. Sadly shaking his head, Renegade lays his head back on his table in the shadowy corner, waiting for mayhem to erupt again so he can acquire some free drinks while the proprietors are occupied http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[mac5732]

Hey GT you old furry feline, hows the family doing? Hope they are all well. Good to see you again....

[Growltiger]

I am only back for a brief instant as I am currently doing my damnedest to spread misery and terror round the world (I am a lawyer)

Family are fine thanks Mac. Older daughter is coming up to 2 years old, and is gorgeous (but I am biased).

Younger daughter is 10 weeks old and sweet as a disney mouse in cream and honey.

PS are Gryphon and Saxon still on the boards?

[dogscoff]

* dogscoff rouses himself from the drunken stupor in which he has been indulging for the last few hundred posts and looks blearily around.

'hey 'Tig. Did I miss anything?

* before anyone can reply, 'scoff rolls over, hugs his mead-barrel extra-tight and slips gently back out of consciousness.

[Growltiger]

Dogscoff, glad to know you are up to your old tricks (hopefully still not begging for biscuits and peeing up lamp posts).

Dunno what we have missed. As far as I can see, the cantina has been full of North Americans bragging and chest beating and then falling over smashed after 2 weak fizzy urine-esque beers...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/smirk.gif

Dont think any real British chaps have been holding up the European end of the stick in our absence http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Now, where is that Renegade fellow? the Red Hot Poker Hand Cannon has had a few enhancements and I want to try them out http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif

[mac5732]

wow, yrs old already, doesn't seem that long ago that she graced the worlds with her presence, time sure flies, glad the family is well and your still your old rascally self http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

as for Gryphon and Saxon, I talk with saxon by email usually once or twice every 2 weeks or so. He has become a proud daddy of a little princess as well. He's keeping his head down over in Kenya, and is still playing games in between feedings and changing diapers. as for Gryphon, last I heard from him, he had been layed off from his job and was looking for a new one which was taking up a lot of his time. He also changed his handle to the GreyOne..

Hope you stick around for awhile, this place misses that red hot poker canon and the thrill of the T-Rex chase http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif
and some of the new members have never had the experience of meeting you and your minions in hand to hand combat http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Puke]

Certainly good to see old faces again. Or at least handles and icons. Also good to hear that the little Tiggerlings are doing well, and congratulations on the newest.

By all means, stick around a little while and chat and dispense mayhem. Sadly, the Gryph has been away for some time.

[Renegade 13]

Growltiger said:
Now, where is that Renegade fellow? the Red Hot Poker Hand Cannon has had a few enhancements and I want to try them out http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif From what I remember, it didn't need any enhancements; it was already about as agonizing as possible!

[Black_Knyght]

...full of North Americans bragging and chest beating and then falling over smashed after 2 weak fizzy urine-esque beers...



Ya know, furrener, them's is fightin' words where I come from... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Renegade 13]

Whoa...scary...

My dad says "furrener" too... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Growltiger]

Black Knyght, they was intended to be fighting words but I am surprised that they are taken so in California.

I have been to California a couple of times, and thought most Californians' ideas of violence was repeatedly poking each other in the genitalia with surf boards whilst worrying if they look cool doing so.

You must admit however, that American beer is quite disgusting and does has the appearance and taste of carbonated wee wee (this is how we started the Gryphon &amp; Growtigga thread all those years back).

Mac, glad to know Saxon is well. Send him my regards when you next speak.

Pity to hear about Greyone and his job position. Here's wishing him all the best. Knowing him, he will probably end up a senator.

The hand cannon has been enhanced. The pokers now come with spiky balls and in a variety of flavours. You can have honey and mustard, BBQ, Moroccan chermoula, meditteraneoan lemon and organo (that's origano to you yanks) or marmite (that's for the brits)

PS what the tarnation is "furrener"?

[Raging Deadstar]

Growltiger said:
PS what the tarnation is "furrener"?



Foreigner http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif A politer version than what most Brits say when talking about the French http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/smirk.gif

[Cipher7071]

No sooner than I get this Guiness open, for Pete's sake, and this cast of characters reappears. I was hoping to actually be able to drink it before the place is taken over by war-weasels and such.

...wouldn't be the first time I've been forced to dial down into incorporality by such shenanigans. It's much safer that way, but impossible to enjoy a beverage.

[Puke]

Except that BlackKnight is actually a misplaced Texan...

[Black_Knyght]

Californian !?!?!?!

Did that uppity Pom just call me a Californian ???

Oh, it's on now !!! Whar's my twin chrome-plated 3045's and my Tequila ??? I got me a showdown a'commin' up....

[Growltiger]

Well, the old joke over here about Texans is that they are living proof that Native Americans had amourous relationships with buffalo and skunk!!

This is great. I have been back 3 minutes and already people are diving for cover and a hybrid Texan California (would that be a Texifornian?) is starting to square up.

Anyone seen where I put that Byzantine horde of armoured killer mongooses?

PS nobody seems to have mentioned the fluffy bunny waitresses for a long time? Have they quit or did Mac show them his interesting collection of slides of run down factories in Cleveland

PPS noted also that no North American has taken issue with my remarks about the quality of US beer. Nice to see that the level of decorum and civility on this thread is such that people dont take umbrage at the TRUTH

[Renegade 13]

I think Mac is...ahem...'entertaining' the FBW's at the moment http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

No one has taken offense at your insult directed towards NA beer due to the fact that any sane being, such as myself, would rather drink something much better than any beer; namely, Vodka! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Black_Knyght]

Growltiger said:
Well, the old joke over here about Texans is that they are living proof that Native Americans had amourous relationships with buffalo and skunk!!

This is great. I have been back 3 minutes and already people are diving for cover and a hybrid Texan California (would that be a Texifornian?) is starting to square up.





Why you inbred, blue-blooded, pasty-faced, bucked-tooth, big-eared, hang-dog faced varmint !!!

Ooops....

Wait a minute...that's the Queen. Or maybe it's that Charlie fella, or one them royal pains in the &amp;@##...

Any how, yessiree - a Texan is part buffalo, part polecat, part cougar, part tornado, part cactus, part horny toad ( heavy on the HORNY part http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif ), and all fire and brimstone. Mess with the thunder of Texas and you'll call down the BOOM !!!!





(sounds impressive, don't it? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif )

[Renegade 13]

Well I'm pretty sure the British royalty is inbred, and has been for several generations. Hey, you can't help getting something that looks like, and is as intelligent as Charles after several generations of inbreeding...

[Raging Deadstar]

You think the British Royalty is inbred?

Just ask ol'GT to divulge his opinion on the part of the UK I live in. Carlisle, Cumbria. I'm telling you now, The Texans have got off lucky so far http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Cipher7071]

I'm American. I just happen to agree that pretty near all mass-produced American beer might just as well be p*** water http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif. Still, in recent years, there have sprung up a large number of local "micro-breweries," some of whom make very passable beverages. I hope the trend continues.

[Puke]

Renegade 13 said:No one has taken offense at your insult directed towards NA beer due to the fact that any sane being, such as myself, would rather drink something much better than any beer; namely, Vodka! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif



Good god. I'm pretty sure I've been comeing to this forum too long, if young Renegade is now old enough to drink. It wasnt THAT long ago that Fyron started drinking.

Glad to see that the timehonored tradition of alcoholism is still tying the species together. Huzzah for us!

[mac5732]

(the following is an excerpt taken from a British underground clandestine newspaper)

... it has been found that the beer types here in England are actually not alchol at all but contain sassperella, discolored to look like beer or ale. It has been also noted that when those who partake of this conconction try the US or Canadian made booze, they grab their unmentionables and run to the nearest inner sanctum since their metabolizm is unable to dissolve the stronger median.... It goes on to say, that if you ever tasted or tryed sassperella then you know what British beer and ale taste like http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rant.gif

signed.... The Tipsy Revolutionaries of England


well now, could this be true... is this the real facts of what is going on across the atlantic???? hmmm, this calls for a UN investigation and possible sanctions against those who try to impart this upon an unsuspecting public.....

[Renegade 13]

Puke said:
Good god. I'm pretty sure I've been comeing to this forum too long, if young Renegade is now old enough to drink.

Well, it's barely been 3 months that I've been able to *legally* drink. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Black_Knyght]

Way to go, <font color="#666666">Mac</font> !!!

By the way, <font color="orange">GT</font>, the proper way in <font color="red">TE</font><font color="white">X</font><font color="blue">AS</font> to drink beer is to use it as a chaser after a double-shot of Jose Cuervo. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gif

Wonder how those uppity Pom's with their feeble constitutions and water-thin blood could handle THAT !!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Growltiger]

Well, lots of things to respond to here.

1 Well, it is probably true that the British Royal Family has got a rather mixed bag of genes, but then they have spent so long inter marrying with the other European royal families that it is not surprising, and whatever state they are in now, it is not anywhere near as bad as the inbreeding found in the southern states of the US (and I include Texas in that grouping);

2 Us Brits have the reputation of being the alcoholics of Europe so I can assure you that double shots of tequila (or whisky in our case) is not a problem;

3 I take the point on US micro-breweries. I have supped some fine ales from those in the US recently. I will qualify my general comment by referring to "mass produced American beers";

4 Raging Deadstar - the rules on this forum would not let me comment on the restricted gene pool that is Cumbria, and in particular the amount of sheep DNA prevalent in said gene pool. Most people from Cumbria I know have intimate knowledge of who their grandsires and great grandsires are, and most of them are the same person (or sheep). It is enough to make even a Texan blush; and

5 please do not let Mac near the FBWs. The laundry bill from last time was horrible, and most of the FBw's were scarred for life. The smell didn't leave for months!

PS Why you inbred, blue-blooded, pasty-faced, bucked-tooth, big-eared, hang-dog faced varmint

In response,

"inbred"? absolutely not

"Blue blooded"? again, no royalty here although the option of boffing a princess would not be turned down (provided she was pretty with all her own teeth and with a trust fund)

"pasty faced"? nope, got a tan from Mallorca

"bucked toothed"? nope, I may be fat, ugly and bald but my dental work and hearing and eyesight is tip top

"Big eared"? nope, they are normal (if deaf)

"hang dog faced varmint"? nope, I am a happy soul and not a rodent at all

[Black_Knyght]

Well now, lets see about responding to this....

1) If you knew much about Texas, you'd know it isn't simply a "Southern State", but rather stands in a category all it's own. Texas is tougher, meaner, stronger, and more independent than ANY other state in the union. And as to inbred, no need to chase your cousin around when you can chase down a wildcat or a longhorn...

2) Given the overall "delicate" sensibilities of the European community, England's reputation as the "alocoholics of Europe" is feeble praise at best. I once spent two weeks at RAF Lakenheath in Suffolk (you never heard that from me...) and managed to try out a few Brit pubs there. Turned out they were simply social clubs for featherweight tipplers instead of anything like a real knock-down-and drag-out kinda Texas bar on a Saturday night. Most bars in Texas STILL ask you to check your gun in at the door...

3) Micro-Brews are for yuppies and connesieurs, not REAL folks.

4) Now I undestand why Cumbrians draw out their words, like Daaaaaaaaad, or Moaaaaaaaam.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

5) You go Mac !!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif

and as for the rest, well - Ah did clar'fy that as bein' associated wit' them thar "royals" ya'll worship over thar.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Renegade 13]

Growltiger said:
Well, it is probably true that the British Royal Family has got a rather mixed bag of genes...

Well, the point is they don't have a mixed bag of genes... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[mac5732]

I would say, from all the research into various aspects of the human cycle and the continuation of the propagation of our race, I found that almost everyone in the world has mixed bags of genes. The only true blue bloods that were found to inhabit this rolly polly ball of ours, are no longer around or in existance. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Atrocities]

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds:
"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

[Black_Knyght]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Growltiger]

Atrocities, I like that joke, I really do.

Texans, still think that their place is the biggest and best in the world and their idea of the epitome of culture and style is his 'n' hers possum skin bath mats

"Any how, yessiree - a Texan is part buffalo, part polecat, part cougar, part tornado, part cactus, part horny toad ( heavy on the HORNY part ), and all fire and brimstone."

So basically, you are hideously confused and with all the traits of some rather unpleasant and nasty flora and fauna!
oh and you forgot to mention being part - braggard


"Mess with the thunder of Texas and you'll call down the BOOM"

Assuming that you are not using the dutch word for "tree", I anticipate that this is a reference to Texmex cuisine and its effect on the digestive system. So basically, upset your colon and we are all going to hear a resounding blast of broken wind (or was that already evidenced by the previous highlighted comment?)

In summary, Texans seem to have most of their DNA from "ornery critters" and unpleasant atmospheric effects or flora, are prone to producing large amounts of stomach gas and have a tendency to bluster.

Sounds about right actually

[Ed Kolis]

AT: Reminds me of Star Trek: Nemesis actually...
Troi: Captain, the Romulan Praetor is telepathically raping me!
Picard: Understood, Counsellor. See if you can withstand him a bit longer so you can spy on him.
I mean, WTF??? If I were Troi I would have telepathically assaulted Picard on the spot! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Atrocities]

Ed Kolis said:
AT: Reminds me of Star Trek: Nemesis actually...
Troi: Captain, the Romulan Praetor is telepathically raping me!
Picard: Understood, Counsellor. See if you can withstand him a bit longer so you can spy on him.
I mean, WTF??? If I were Troi I would have telepathically assaulted Picard on the spot! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif



ROFLMAO --

Ya, TROI - "See if you can stand it Captain... who's your daddy bioutch? Who's your daddy?"

Wait... isn't something like being mind raped by Troi an every guy fantasy? Nope, this wouldn't work at all for Picard, she would have to tpsycopathically transfer the emotions and mental stress of her mind rape directly into Picards brain in order to have him experience her discomfort. Ya, thats it... make him take it up the aassss by his bald clone. Ewwwwwwww *shudder*

[Black_Knyght]

Atrocities said:

Ed Kolis said:
AT: Reminds me of Star Trek: Nemesis actually...
Troi: Captain, the Romulan Praetor is telepathically raping me!
Picard: Understood, Counsellor. See if you can withstand him a bit longer so you can spy on him.
I mean, WTF??? If I were Troi I would have telepathically assaulted Picard on the spot! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif



ROFLMAO --

Ya, TROI - "See if you can stand it Captain... who's your daddy bioutch? Who's your daddy?"

Wait... isn't something like being mind raped by Troi an every guy fantasy? Nope, this wouldn't work at all for Picard, she would have to tpsycopathically transfer the emotions and mental stress of her mind rape directly into Picards brain in order to have him experience her discomfort. Ya, thats it... make him take it up the aassss by his bald clone. Ewwwwwwww *shudder*





http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Renegade 13]

One word:


OWWWWWWWW!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Growltiger]

Hmmm, let's try and steer this thread away from any further in-depth analysis of homo-eroticism as it applies to Captain Picard.

Anyway, it is far more fun abusing Texans (or Texifornians) as (a) you cannot help but have tons of ammunition, (b) it is so easy and (c) they tend to over react in such an amusing manner.

Lord knows, the next thing that will happen is that you will make a "good ol' boy" president. Such an idiot would even choke on a pretzel....

What am I saying, this is all a horrible nightmare!

[Raging Deadstar]

Atrocities said:
Wait... isn't something like being mind raped by Troi an every guy fantasy? Nope, this wouldn't work at all for Picard, she would have to tpsycopathically transfer the emotions and mental stress of her mind rape directly into Picards brain in order to have him experience her discomfort. Ya, thats it... make him take it up the aassss by his bald clone. Ewwwwwwww *shudder*



I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Growltiger]

Sure, abusing Texans is fun, but abusing Cumbrians is even better.

You wouldn't get this sort of verbose exchange if Star Trek was exclusively crewed by Cumbrians. It would be more like the following:

Picard: counsellor, you are looking troubled. Is that pesky Romulan ambassador trying to mind rape you?

Counsellor: baaah baaaaahhh baaahhhh baahhh baaahh

Picard: counsellor, have you brushed your fleece a different way? you look ravishing

Counsellor: baaaahh baah baaah

Picard: ooh, you sexy little ovoid, come here right now

Counsellor: bahh baaaaaah baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

The truth is out there. Come to Carlisle, where men are real men (if hairy, inbred and liking folk music), women are completely bored off their heads on a Saturday night and the sheep live in terror.

[Puke]

oh my god. i may even become religious so as to have credibility when invoking the name of a deity like that. you guys slay me.

*puke eats some popcorn, and watches the taunts play out. Elsewhere, there is a rowdy table of skunkupines waving lone-star-state flags and drinking Shiner Bock. Three of them are having Tecate*

[Renegade 13]

Renegade, also watching the verbal barrage, decides to intercede slightly...

Rising from his slumbering position, Renegade grabs a handy sheep and thrusts it at RD, then grabs a goat and shoves it towards GT. After all, they're both Brits...and if one likes animals, the other must as well, right??

Immediately thereafter, Renegade turns his back, so as not to witness the unspeakable things being done to the poor, innocent animals... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/redface.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/redface.gif

[Puke]

you know, when i was a kid i had this neat boardgame with tigers and goats, that played kinda like Go....

[Raging Deadstar]

RD hands the sheep back over to Renegade

"Sir, you appear to have misplaced your livestock. You should take more responsibility over the whereabouts of your significant other." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/smirk.gif

With that he removes himself far into the corners of the Cantina, expecting GT To rain vengeance most foul upon Renegade

[Renegade 13]

Well, I always did like a nice rack of lamb... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Renegade vaults nimbly into the rafters, hoping to avoid the wrath of GT. If he can't be found, he can't be pummelled into a bloody pulp!

[Growltiger]

Renegade 13 is slammed off his perch in the rafters by 40kg of well aimed goat chucked at him by Growltiger.

Look you idiot, I am a tiger and I EAT goats... but I am currently watching my weight.

Anyhow, we have done all sorts of sordid things in this cantina, but we have never yet reverted to molesting poor animals, and Raging Deadstar is on strict orders to leave his girlfriends, I mean the flock outside....

Note everybody that he did not disagree that Cumbrian men are hairy, smelly and like folk music.

For you Yanks out there, just to make it clear that folk music is even worse than coutnry and western (and that is saying something).

Growltiger looks at the dazed Renegade spawled on the floor, picks up the red hot poker hand cannon and turns it to "madras".

[Renegade 13]

[i]Noting the Red Hot Poker Cannon in GT's hand Renegade scurries quickly backwards, hoping to delay the horror. Rushing behind the bar, he grabs Puke (who is for some reason starting to mold...) and holds him in defense of the target of the RHPC...

[Black_Knyght]

The whirling mass of Skunkupines, now rejoined by several inebriated members, slowly spins toward the center of the room. The mass begins to contract, tighter and tighter and tighter, then suddenly bursts outward with astonishing force.

Balled-up Skunkupines fly across the room in a chaotic and ricocheting manner. Barbed quills firing off like shrapnel (not unlike recent conversations http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif ) fly out in every direction.

Several well-aimed quills strike the hindquarters of GrowlTiger, while dozens more that were headed towards Renegade 13 strike the unprepared Puke.

Quills lash out in every direction, though it is noted that the flying Skunkupines carefully avoid turning their derrieres in the direction of the lone Cumbrian in the corner.

Ed Kolis is grazed by several quills, though dozens more pass through the incorporal Cipher7071. Quills silhouette but apparently completely miss Mac5732. Dogscoff is struck by a dozen or so quills, but is blissfully unaware of his pending pain being passed-out.


Atrocities, ever the lightning rod for disaster, appears to recieve the lion's share of the flying quills. ( http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif )

The pained, plaintive bleeting of the punctured sheep is heard, though the cause this time is Skunkupine quills and not Cumbrian affections... ( http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif )

[Puke]

puke pulls a quill out of himself, and sticks it in Renegade.

"one"

puke pulls a quill out of himself, and sticks it in Renegade.

"two"

...

[Renegade 13]

"Hey, that stings!"

[i]With Puke still sticking gelatinously to his outer garments, poking quills into him, Renegade casually gathers up an ice cube tray, dry ice and a large spoon...

"All right, who wants some Puke-sicles? Just give me a few minutes to get him in the tray and frozen http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gif "

[Puke]

eleven. twelve. thirteen. fourteen...

[Cipher7071]

That was close. Sigh...

Shimmmmerrrrr......fade.......shimmmmerrrr....pop!

Reappearing at the corner table with Mac, who is in the company of some rather enticing FBWs, Cipher dials up to approximately 'spectral' and asks:

"Mac old buddy, do you suppose you could convince one of these sweet young things to retrieve my drink from the bar? Although I don't seem terribly at risk here, my ale does not share that privelege. I think perhaps in this corner, I may just be able to sneak an occasional sip."

[Erax]

A figure with burning red eyes steps out of a shadowy corner behind Mac, carrying Cipher's drink in his right hand and a low, wide glass holding a clear fluid and some ice in his left.

"Here you go. Mac old buddy, remember me? How's Tigga and the rest of the gang?"

[Growltiger]

Ouch, time to turn the red hot poker hand cannon to "Extreme Vindaloo"

[Black_Knyght]

Growltiger said:
Ouch, time to turn the red hot poker hand cannon to "Extreme Vindaloo"



"Vindaloo" ???, and "Madras" ???

[Cipher7071]

You are a gentleman and a scholar, sir.

Interesting entrance, by the way. A man after my own heart, it would seem. Yet GT doesn't seem quite so glad you're here.

Hmmmmm. I think I'll pass on the Puke-cicle.
...which gives me an idea. (dials up to gelatinous and takes a shaky drink).

[mac5732]

The old wise one, looks up at the foaming drink in Erax's hand, hmmm, "why thank you for the kind drink" replies the older genteelman. As Erax walks away, the wise one, reaches down under the table and opens his mysterious blk bag. He takes out a bottle, pours the foaming liquid into the bottle, seals it, then pulls out an UPS box, puts it in, puts a name tag that says Champagne Immortal on the bottle, writes Erax's address on it and has a FBW take it over to the local UPS and have it shipped http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Ah Cipher, I shall endeavor to address your request concerning the foxys FBWs and impart upon them your feeling desire. They shall then enlighten you as to their or her's answer. I'm sure that they shall honor your request as a patron of this establishment.

The old one watches in amusement as GT readies his disemboweling red hot poker cannon. He smiles, orders his usual and proceeds to watch the demise of those who want to dance with the Tigger Enraged.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Cipher7071]

Thank you Mac, but Erax has mysteriously retrieved my drink already. I see that it is in fact gone from the bar, but how he got it from there to here I cannot say.

[Renegade 13]

As no one seems to be horribly interesting in the Puke-sicles (no surprise there!), and with Puke continuing his annoying prodding of his person, Renegade sets down the ice cube tray, grabs a beer stein and proceeds to scoop Puke into the large mug. Hastily (so Puke didn't escape) he opened the freezer and quickly shoved Puke into the frosty abyss. Puke's movements begin to slow, the next quill moving continually slower as he strove to insert it into Renegade's flesh.

[Puke]

Puke pulls the file quill out of himself, and reaches out of the mug towards Renegade... slowly... reaching...

and slam! Renegade closes the door of the freezer. Its dark. Puke blinks.

[Growltiger]

Growltigga pushes a button and a large net drops from the ceiling and pins Black Knyght to the floor, face down and derriere upmost.........

Dialling the hand cannon to "Extreme Phall" (like a vindaloo but much much hotter and inedible), "with mango chutney and extra puppadums", Growltigga walks over with an evil smirk on his handsome feline face..........

"You'll enjoy this Black Knygt, not a lot, but you will enjoy it, and afterwards from necessity you will be so far in that closet you will be in Narnia"

[Black_Knyght]

Black Knyght gets a gleam in his eye, and responds. "Oh, not tonight, I think" and says the command word "Defense".

High-tech adamantium battle armor begins to engage all around him, unfolding from within its hidden compartments. Soon he is fully encased within his armor, and uses his actuator enhanced strength to snap the restaining net, slowly rise, and face his antagonist.

Turning to face the stunned GrowlTiger, he asks " Are you ready to dance, Mr.Kitty?". He then states the word "Offense", and dozens upon dozens of concealed rockets, missiles, lasers, and miniguns emerge from their enclosures.

Suddenly, off balance by all the incredible firepower sprouting from his armored suit, Black Knyght begins to stagger first off the the left abit, then suddenly to the right. He catches himself, sways slowly backward and then suddenly lurches forward in a clumsy attempt to regain balance.

With a horrendous crash and shocked "Meooooaaaawwww", the enormous mass of metal that is Black Knyght falls on GrowlTiger like a felled Redwood Tree, flattenling him to the floor.

Moments go by, and as the smoke clears all that can be seen of GrowlTiger is a frantically twitching tail and one slowly spasming foot....

[Renegade 13]

Unfortunately for BlackKnyght, he has fallen forward onto GT...and GT's instrument of rectal agony fell free onto the floor of the B&amp;G!

Quickly grabbing the Cannon, Renegade trys to "take advantage" of BK's awkward position, only to be thwarted by his armor. Racing off, Renegade grabs an acetylene torch and begins dismembering BK's armor over a certain tender area of BK's anatomy, to allow the RHPHC easier access to do its thing... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/redface.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/redface.gif

[Black_Knyght]

Suddenly aware of the rising temperatures around his derriere, Black Knyght becomes concerned of a possible fire, and the severe risk of "cook-off" !!!

Calling up an internal systems moniter, Black Knyght activates the fire-suppression system built into his armor. Jets of thick, oxygen-smothering foam, designed to put out fires and rapidly reduce localized temperature spikes, spray back towards the heated aft section of Black Knyght's armor.

Renegade 13, caught unawares in his concentrated efforts, is quickly covered in the clingy foam. The suppression system continues to spray the freezing, oxygen-smothering goo until Renegade 13 resembles a poorly constructed snowman...."

[Growltiger]

Growltigga, dazed, confused, battered and now right royally narked, pushes himself out from under Black Knygt whilst he is spraying stuff from his backside on Renegade.

"You nasty little American twerp" says the great cat. Armour doesn't stop me. He pulls out his Swiss Army Knife, pulls out the attachment for adamantine armour and whittles off the bottom portion of the suite whilst said foam deluge is still happening.

Snatching the red hot poker hand cannon from Renegage, Growltigga lines up on BK's under garments, dials the cannon to "Ultra Curry (with a hint of lime)" and attacks

"Frying tonight" GT yells...... as Black Kyght squeals like a stuck pig (well I guess he is really) and gets a taste of pure fire up his windward passage.........

[Saxon]

Saxon arrives, dapper as always, and is instantly handed a drink by one of his FBW. The other patrons watch respectfully, knowing that he is here to pick up the cut he is given from the tips the FBW receive. They also know that the FBW will withhold their charms from any who upset “The Big Guy,” so they are as polite as they can manage. For some, this is obviously a challenge.

Saxon nods greetings to the crowd, pleased to receive his deserved respect, as well as pleased he does not need to disembowel that damn T-Rex that was handling parking for so long. With a small gesture, he indicates that complimentary drinks are to be taken to Mac and Growltigga, as well as a towel to clean up the mess that Black Knyght has made.

[Renegade 13]

Renegade stumbles back as the foam coats him thoroughly from head to toe. Feeling the temperature abruptly begin to fall, he sighs in relief, loving the cool respite from the tropical temperatures of the B&amp;G. After all, Renegade grew up in the frigid north of Canada, the flame retardent foam feels like a nice cool spring day of -20.

Slowly moving back to his seat in the shadowy corner, Renegade closes his eye in absolute bliss and enjoys the coolness.

[Black_Knyght]

Black Knyght begins to regain his composure and rise after extricating himself from GrowlTiger. Having lost sight of Growltiger, he is unaware of his actions until a breach alert blares it's warning.

Suddenly alert to the actions of GrowlTiger and his efforts to penetrate the aft portion of his armor. Black Knyght attempts to rise. A sudden impact jars him, followed by an odd squealing sound.

A split-second too late, the realization of what the sound was hits Black Knyght. GrowlTiger, in his frenzy to get at Black Knyght, drove the Red-Hot Poker Hand Cannon straight into the fuel tank used for the flight jets !!! The squeal was not from Black Knyght, but from the escaping pressurized fuel contained within.

An enormous explosion occurs, firing Black Knyght forward, upward, and outward through the roof of the Bar &amp; Grill like a spiraling Roman Candle.

GrowlTiger, still holding his Red-Hot Poker Hand Cannon, stands in the ground zero aftermath of his explosive mistake. Deafened by the blast and scorched a charcoal black from head to toe, smoke slowly curling up from sizzled fur and singed whiskers, he blinks twice in stunned silence at what just happened.....

[Saxon]

Growltigga silent? That is unlikey to be a long lasting condition...

[mac5732]

The old wize one, notices one of the old regulars who has been away from quite some time. He motions a group of the FBWs over and whispers into their ears. They immiediatly surround the Saxon while another pours coins into the jukebox. They then begin to gyrate and grind around, up against, and into poor old Saxon... The Old one waves and raises his glass in toast to another old regular who found his way back home once more......., (after which, he pushes the button on his secret bag which in turn sends electric shocks into Renegades Buttocks ) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Growltiger]

Black Kngyt fails to notice that the Curry enhanced poker is actually equipped with rectal heat seekers and directional jets....

Given all the shenigans surrounding his rear end, BK's fudge tunnel is actually glowing incandescently, and he squeals (reference to the stuck pig again) as an aerial poker impales his tender parts and does its best to singe of the leavings of poor bottomly hygiene which BK has around his nether ends........

Skewered like a moth, BK crashes to the ground, unfortunatelly falling rear first just so that the poker gets an additional bit of push.....

The squealing can even be heard in Texas (where they think that the Texifornian has pulled a bird again)....

Growltigga brushes off the charcoal from his fur, and heads over to the old Moose Kisser and the Stinky One for a well earned pint of Spitfire (no Fokker comes close) (ouch and apologies to any German posters for that tag line)

[Black_Knyght]

As Black Knyght soars up into the sky from the explosive reaction to GrowlPussyCats reckless and OBSESSIVE anal fixation ( gotta wonder about that...), his sensors notice the enhanced Poker Cannon tracking his flight. He automatically fires of an interceptor missile, which streaks so fast towards it target it's passage through the air causes a sqealing sound to be heard. The interceptor missile strikes and obliterates the hostile in a brief but brutal explosion.

Black Knyght begins to recover control of his unexpected flight with his auxillery flight systems, and puts out the flames with his fire-suppression system. As he descends the squeal of rapidly cooling metal eminates from his robotic chassis until he touches down rather more abruptly than desired. System lights across the board blink in protest. Black Knyght decides to pause here for a bit to allowed the automated repair systems to do their job before heading back to the Bar &amp; Grill....

[dogscoff]

For those forriners querying terms like "vindaloo", "madras" and "Phaal":
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curry#British_cuisine

[Cipher7071]

Along with the sensory pleasures of solid form, such as enjoying one's ale, occasionally come certain unpleasantries, such as being soiled by fire retardant and rocket exhaust. But I have learned to accept these occurrances philosophically.

Once again becoming incorporal, Cipher allows the bits of foam and soot to drift lightly to the floor. There is also a small splash of undigested ale....sigh.

[Growltiger]

Errrr exactly where is Black Knyght now?

and the "anal fixation" comes from what the red hot poker hand cannon is actually meant to do. It is not as much fun if it is for assaulting someone's nostrils....

For those still wondering about this, the basis for the hand cannon cames from an episode of Blackadder II, where Edmond Blackadder had fallen foul of The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath &amp; Wells who was going to singe the anti-hero's personal parts with a red hot poker for non-payment of a debt (until Blackadder managed to get some leverage for arranging a comprising portrait of said Bishop with Percy).

The curry enhancements are courtesy of Viz magazine, and the pleasures of enjoying a "Curry Hell" at the Rupali Curry Restaurant, The Bigg Market, Newcastle Upon Tyne, England.

The application of the hand cannon for acts of grotesque violence against Bar &amp; Grill patrons however is all my own.

[mac5732]

Black Knight, the red hot poker cannon has been around since the cantina was first incorporated, along with all kinds of Sea creatures, lew worshipers and many others. However, GT must like you, as he has not let loose old T-Rex and the killer mongooses on you yet. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif Its been a long time since old T-rex and the gooses have gone on a hunt... when you hear the horn and the trumpets, start running http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

In the meanwhile, the old one, sits back, orders his usual from the FBWs, and watches to see if dogscoffs sea creatures show up, if an old fashion hunt will transpire or if the Black Knight or other new members attempt the inner sanctum with the lew worshippers lie in wait (shudder) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rant.gif

[Growltiger]

Barry the T-Rex is still outside, the Byzantine horde of killer mongoose are currently building some heavy weaponry

[mac5732]

GT, check your PM at this site

[Growltiger]

Mac, checked my PM and reverted to you.

Can I just say on the record that I have never seen anything so disgusting. Please dont send me any more photolinks of you in shorts. I am not strong enough (or old enough for that matter) to cope with images like that.

Things like that should be banned by the Geneva Convention.

Those legs.....yuk

[Cipher7071]

ROTFL

[mac5732]

The old one, looks at his physeeeeck in the mirror, hmmmm, he wonders, I don't see anything wrong with mee.. hahahahahahahaha, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif The furry one must need some real strong glasses..... he was probably dreaming again after drinking some of that yucky English ale..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Growltiger]

No Mac, I was stone cold sober before I saw those piccies. Now I have turned into a commsumate dipsomaniac just to try and get those awful images out of my head......

I will never eat Bratwurst again.

[mac5732]

the old one, sloshes across the room, after filling his torso with numerous brewskis, he bumps into the computer table near the bar, looks down and says... cool... a slot machine.. he pushes the buttons,... and whooooosh.... the cantina is updated by mistake http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

The old one looks down at the screen, mumbles something about one armed bandit crooks... turns around and sloshes back to his cornor table, calls over a FBW and orders several more brewskis....hic, hic.....

[Cipher7071]

Cipher takes a moment of silence to mourn the lost data.

There have been times on days such as Mac is having that I too have experienced data loss, and have since endeavored to keep multiple copies of my own information. Regretably, I have no such backups to offer the cantina... or Mac.

[Cipher7071]

Hmmm... The atmosphere seems civil enough for the moment. At least as much so as one could ever expect.

Cipher solidifies, and takes a good drink of his ale. Hmpphhh. Even our British friends would say this ale has become overly warm. Must have been from Black Knight's rockets.
(walking to the refrigerator) And yes, they might also object to what I am about to do... (grasps the handle to the freezer) But, I see no help for it other than to add an ice cube.

Cipher pops open the freezer door where the mug full of somewhat crystalized Puke is now leaning. SMASH!! The Puke mug falls to the floor, but not without first depositing some portion of its contents into Cipher's mug.

Absolutely disgusting. Shimmmmeerrrr... faaade. Smash goes the second mug, leaving a pukey snowball amid a pile of broken glass in a puddle of ale on the floor.

[Renegade 13]

Renegade abruptly gets up from his shadowy table in the corner, leaps on his table and starts singing the lyrics to an unfamiliar song. Too bad his singing voice isn't up to the task... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[mac5732]

bumptity bump... heehehhe

[mac5732]

The old one looks around, notices that the place is almost full, therefore, since its been a while...FREE DRINKS FOR EVERYONE...... don't worry about the cost, we'll put the bill on Tim's tab.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

The old one sits back, then orders a double of his usual , and pulls out the latest research paper on "does the puke really eat his own cooking or not".......

[mac5732]

bump, couldn't resist hehehehhehe

[Suicide Junkie]

Oh, man...
Its not too late to get one of those free drinks, is it?

[Caduceus]

Sign me up. Its been a long week. And it is only Tuesday.

[mac5732]

bumpty bump, have to keep it around for when everyone wants to chat or just jump into some meyhem to release their inner conquestial feelings... hehehehehehehe

[mac5732]

Everyone, lift up your glasses/bottles and whatever, to all those who have had or are having a Birthday here on the Forum, to those yet to age and for those who have already aged, for those B days we missed and for those that are coming...

PS. Don't worry about the tab, its all being put on Mindi's http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Puke]

Cheers! sent a pint over to Agent Zero!

[Black_Knyght]

Here Here, send a keg of the Special Reserve to Agent Zero...

And while we're at it I think I'll have a mug or two myself...

[mac5732]

bump, might be a good time to bring it back, a good brewski or two might be needed to refresh oneself after reliving SEV, hopefully the patch will make the AI a lot better and fix the bugs.

Brewskis on the house, (put it on SF's tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif )

[AgentZero]

Black_Knyght said:
Here Here, send a keg of the Special Reserve to Agent Zero...

And while we're at it I think I'll have a mug or two myself...



So that's why I don't remember the last 5 days.

[Growltiger]

Bumpity bump bump bump

[mac5732]

Hail old Furry Feline, hows the wife and little kittens doing? bet their getting big and keeping you jumping, thats why your not here in the cantina more often http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[mac5732]

bumpty bump....

pass the drumstick, pour the gravey.... as the old wize one sits down at his favorite chair and imbids upon some turkey http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Growlytiger]

Slightly, and belatedly, bump

Albeit different user name, the cat is back (if anyone remembers him)

[Ed Kolis]

Hey, welcome back, both to you Tiger and to the bar &amp; grill! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

Lost your old password or something?

[Growlytiger]

Lost the old password, lost my marbles, lost quite a lot of things really.

Thought I would look in and find out if all the old lags (Mac, Gryphin, Saxon, Dogscoff, Atrocities, Nippy the Magical Duck and posse) were still around and as useless as ever.......

[Ed Kolis]

... Nippy the Magic Duck? You sure you don't mean Narf the giant mouse? Or does that go back even farther than I can recall? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Growlytiger]

Nippy was years back..... apparently there were two things you had to know about Nippy.

1 he is magical

2 he is a duck....

probably explains an awful lot about him

[Renegade 13]

Dost my eyes deceive me?

[Combat Wombat]

I bet if you contact one of the wonderous people at shrapnel they could you get back into your old account. They helped narf and a few other people out if I remember correctly.

[Baron Munchausen]

Growlytiger said:
Slightly, and belatedly, bump

Albeit different user name, the cat is back (if anyone remembers him)



Did you forget the password for the old account/name?

Edit: oops, the thread page thing got me. You admitted you lost the password but I had already posted. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Growlytiger]

Hmmmm two years out and I still find that posters are as forgetful as always. It looks as if Mac's senility has catastrophically spread... I just hope his bowel problems have not expanded to the same degree. Where is the old codger by the way?

[dumbluck]

Speaking of wondering about locations... where have ya been these last few years? Spreading chaos in the real world? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Hope all was well with ya.

[Growlytiger]

Not sure if it counts as "spreading chaos in the real world" but basically working my bottom off in France, Germany, Greece and enjoying the comforting damp mists and warm beer of England...

and being a full time father etc etc etc

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Wow...Old people coming back. *Waves*

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I just got a couple of reply notifications in my inbox from here. My god, what a blast from the past.....

[Growlytiger]

Narf, good to see you too and I hope that the reference to "old people" is to historical posters on this forum rather than a reference to my age (which is not THAT much).

I would like to be here for a few days before the red hot poker hand cannon gets put into use again. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

...I promise nothing... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Growlytiger]

and even if you did...... you would probably forget about it

[narf poit chez BOOM]

...Forget what?

[Growlytiger]

I cannot remember (but in my case that is something to do with age rather than any cheese fetish or obsession)

[David E. Gervais]

What's this? cantina cat is back? does this me all us 'old farts' can come out of lurkLand (tm) now? Growltigga, I hope you oiled and greased all your selection of cannons and 'prods'. Hey who knows maybe Rollo will come back and remind us he has the largest most varied collection of shovels in the hood.

Good to see you back GT. the first dozen beer are on Mac.. the next 6 are on me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Growlytiger]

Great - and by the time I have had 18 beers, I will be so phished I'll end up in a group hug with Mac and Gryphin

[mac5732]

Did someone mention Brewskis???? Well now,, who is that strange Oldster with the whiskers??? It can't be, is it really THE TIGGA???? Brewskis all around,, where's the darn bartender.... Tigga is back....

Hey there you old furry feline.. hows the family doing, all well I hope. Good to see you back once again.. Havn't heard anything from the Gryphin in a long time, last I heard he got layed off and that was over a year or more ago.. Saxon is married with a little one and drops in once in awhile, he's still in Kenya.. hopefully keeping his head down., Dogscoff pops in once in awhile but I think he's playing with his deep sea minions most of the time, Rollo drops in rarely same with Tesco the old snake, he's usually playing hockey in the outback of our northern neighbor, lots of newbies, cantina has been quiet as everyone is out chasing the the grail.... /threads/images/Graemlins/Cold.gif You back for good or just dropping in.... Say hi to family for us

Brewskis all around and keep them coming

Group Hug??? not unless you have Liz Hurly included http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Growlytiger]

If there was a group hug involving Liz Hurly, it would have to be a group hug with two of us (ie me and Liz) and no other....

I will be around for a couple of months or so, until my next overseas posting so will drop in every now and then. Too much opportunity to cause mayhem and the Byzantine horde of killer mongeese has not had a chance to cause mayhem for a couple of years.......

Bad karma on Gryphin and hope he is OK (your employment laws in the US suck)..

Good news on Saxon (violence)...

Old Dogscoff, how I miss those gigantic mutated murderous squid

Rollo, you cannot keep a good german down (unlike a bratwurst which repeats on you for days after you have held your nose and forced it down)

Tesco Samoa, the only man I know named after an English supermarket chain and a Pacific island state.....

Wonder if Mephisto is still around?

[Renegade 13]

Haven't seen hide nor hair of Mephisto around here in quite some time unfortunately.

[David E. Gervais]

Growlytiger said:
If there was a group hug involving Liz Hurly, it would have to be a group hug with two of us (ie me and Liz) and no other....



My Gawd Tig, how could you forget the Clones? A group hug would of course be you Liz and 1000 of her clones. But please have your blood pressure checked before, during and after the hug. We can't be too careful.

..and remember to park safely at the cantina be sure you give Barry the biggest tip, or show up with the biggest ship with the most guns.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Reference.. Ye Old Cantina.. (http://files.spaceempires.net/albums/wallpapers/Phongs_Cantina.jpg)

[Growlytiger]

Gosh, I had quite forgotten about Barry the Valet T-Rex. And such a sweet little jacket as well.......

The poor thing must be starving after all this apparent failure to keep up the mayhem in my absence.....

[mac5732]

glad your going to be around for awhile, The FBWs have missed your suave form of violence and their large tips http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif say hi to the family for me...... Where were you when the voting for the top Shrapnel forum Sci Fi Lade was picked? dk the threads... some foxy photos, alas, LH didn't get lst place

[Growlytiger]

Who did get first place out of interest?

[mac5732]

sue storm (fantastic four) J. Alba (spelling) ck the voting posts

[Growlytiger]

Hmmmm someone did a mock up of the fantastic four for my team here. My head got superimposed on the body of "The Thing", which I thought was slightly true to type and perhaps an element of type casting.

My lady assistant's head got superimposed on Jessica Alba's body. She was quite chuffed with the result. I guess I would have been too as I would have been delighted to have my head superimposed on Jessica Alba's body. At least it would have been better than being the muscle bound slabhead.

[mac5732]

bump, gotta keep the old girl around http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Growlytiger]

Too right - there ain't no interest in us old geezers any more... sob, moan, whinge, groan...............

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Well, maybe if you posted more... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Renegade 13]

narf poit chez BOOM said:
Well, maybe if you posted more... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[David E. Gervais]

More! (there I posted "More" are you happy? eh? are you?)

Now we just need someone to post 'even more', 'much more' and 'More More More!'

.. I'm sorry what were we talking about? Chainmail lady? (who was suspiciously ommited from the best Sci-Fi girl contest)

What's up with that? hmmm?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Saxon]

Didn't Jessica Alba work as a FBW before getting that role in Fantastic Four?

Yes, I survived the violence, but since my parents were here and we were on lockdown, I had to deal with my wife dealing with her mother in law 24 hours a day. As you will imagine, I was the first to volunteer to go out and brave the streets to get fresh groceries.

[Growlytiger]

I am sure Jessica Alba probably did work as a FBW at some stage. I dunno though, too many beautiful women, not enough rohypnol (sic) for me to use on them (they are not going to fall for my sparkling personality, wallet and charm....)...

Saxon, I really sympathise with you. If I was locked in a house with my mother-in-law for 24 hours, I would be chewing the catflap wider with my teeth to escape into the relative peace of any urban disturbance/alien invasion/natural catastrophe happening outside....

I do call my wife Grendel. She takes after her mother and had to learn how to roam the moors savaging sheep at night from somewhere......

[mac5732]

hey GT what contemplation of the greater cosmos have you been up to? Expecting anymore little kittens???? You should have at least 10 or 12 by now http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Saxon]

Speaking of Grendal and FBW, did you see Angelique Jolie in Beowulf? Not a typical mother in law...

[mac5732]

saxon you old dog, hows the wife and family doing, keeping your head down over there?

[Growlytiger]

Mac, no more kittens planned for the Growltigga household. Two girls is quite enough thank you. I am currently dreading them in 14 years when the house gets swamped in hormones, lingerie and dopey floppy haired teenage boys they are dragging home as boyfriends!

Saxon, I did see Beowulf and actually thought Ms Jolie looked quite spiffing sprayed all in gold with a long tail. It must be my age.......

[mac5732]

GT, glad everyone doing ok, and true, I have a daughter, in her 20's now, and I remember back when, it seemed the male dregs were constantly at our house or on the phone, we couldn't get a phone call thru because she was always on it. so tip; get them their own cell phones hahahahaha, they weren't that numerous back then. yep girls 14-16 are the worst ages, (15 is the worst) thats their independace stage... UGH.. how I remember those.... good luck when that happens, say hi to the Mrs for me......

[Growlytiger]

Said Hi to the Mrs for you. She said "Isn't that smelly old spindle shanked varmint in a nursing home yet?"

Thanks for the warning about teenage girls. I am really NOT looking forward to it. I might take a job in Australia and just send the money home. Not sure my wife would notice much actually.

[mac5732]

I think your wife has been hanging around you to much hahahahahahha you old furry feline.. you need to find a job thats lets you stay home more often so your family knows who you are... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

as for the nursing home, na,,,, only saggy hooters in those places....looking for one that has nice perky ones http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Growlytiger]

Isnt that an oxymoron?

A nursing home is a place where older people are parked by their loved ones primarily for the purpose of obtaining 24/7 care, potty training and the like....

You are looking for a nursing home that is inhabited solely by Miss America runners-up...

Good luck on this quest, although I dont think even Indiania Jones could track this one through (although he is probably old enough to qualify for entry)....

[mac5732]

can you just imagine a nursing home full of big hooter'd nurses??? oh my oh my..... besides, I'm not there yet you old grey haired feline http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Growltiger]

Mac,

Apologies, but you are definately of the right age to be interred in said establishment. I am just surprised that your children have not tried this already in order to preserve their inheritance;)

PS I have no hair on my head, gray or otherwise.

PPS I told a fib, I do have one gray hair but it is in my ear (why, when one gets older and hairlines recede, do your ear and nasal hairs suddenly kick into fourth gear and grow like billy-o?)

[mac5732]

you old feline, at least I still have a few strands left, somewhat grey but they still stand up...

PS.. women love old sexy geezers like me, I'd probably drive those nurses WILD:D

[Growltiger]

Do y'know Mac? that reply just epitomised everything I like about you. A blend of eternal optimism and a complete disregard for anything approaching a grip on reality::re:

Of course, the other thing I do rather like about you is that you are about 4,500 miles away from me so unlikely to turn up on a Sunday afternoon wanting to invite themselves to dinner, borrow my screwdriver set and/or take advantage of my drinks cabinet and/or wife and/or good nature. That, so far as I am concerned, is always the measure of a true chum.

Anyway, I am now off to see the optician as I keep seeing things in blue (this website for instance)

PS Did they ever keep the original Growltigga and Gryphin thread and the two cantina threads that followed. I would like to spend a pleasant month reading all those again......

[mac5732]

I believe the old cantina threads were saved in the archives. You';ll have to ck this site or in the old sev iv forum site. Not sure with this new forum.. But I know they were saved. I'll have to browse when I get a chance and see if I can find them unless someone else finds them for us first.

As for coming to dinner/using drink cab/etc, why thanks for the invite. thats not a bad idea, maybe i'll ck the airlines and see if they have some cheap flights to the old country and pop in on you for a brewski or three and drive those women crazy over there with my sexy looks and appeal. Why I could set a whole new look over there, maybe start some new fads, I can see it all now, walking around over there in my baggy shorts and muscle shirt, using my wit and charm, oh yepper..I could even bring some of Puke's or Tesco's chilli for a rip roaring time. :D the place would never be the same. :eek: You'd probably have huge crowds looking for you to extend their thanks for having me over to show their appreciation and to give you tours of places you never thought you'd see :angel

PS. say hi to the family for me

[Growltiger]

Mac

I have just explained the situation to my wife and neighbours who have all agreed that I should move house every two weeks to keep you off my tail.

[geoschmo]

Hey! I know you! :D

Welcome back GT.

It appears all the old threads are still here, though the search may not have been working a couple weeks ago. If you search now for Phong's Head Cantina you should turn up more than a couple threads, some of which are actually the one's you are looking for. ;)

I think this is the original: http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=14936&highlight=Phong%27s+Head+Cantina
Hopefully that link works.

[mac5732]

ah, GT, I remember the old cantina.. what fun and meyhem., ah Saxon, Gryphin, Tesco, Dogscoff,and all the others, the FBWs, Dogscoff's minions, the killer mongooses and old T-Rex, the Loo Worshipers in the Men's room, the red hot poker, and more. Plus those informative Discussions on chilli, Circle the Wagons, The Griffin Position and of course the old Custer hat... If anyone here wants to really see some good old fashion meyhem and interesting discussions, then I would highly recommend going to the archives and looking up the original cantina and all those that followed, (the original was eventually destroyed, as well as the 2nd, 3rd etc, due to the extreme meyhem that was conducted within those sacred walls :re::D. But they were good times.. sigh.. those were the days... Now both you and old Saxon are settled down and raising families, Gryphin hasn't been heard from in a very long time, Tesco and Dogscoff show up once in a great while, as well as many others... Maybe we should have a reunion at the current cantina for everyone?? hmmmmmmm

[Gandalph]

Speaking of remembering, I remember the days when I was still an active member of these forums, and SEIV in general. It has been 2 years I have been away and it is good to see all the old familiar faces/names are still around and still active. I don't even have SEIV or V installed anymore, gonna have to put that on the to do list, as I have kind of become addicted to WoW. Anyway, good to see all of you are still here and I will drop in on a much more regular basis.

[mac5732]

Gandolph, good of you to drop in and its nice to see your still hanging in there, by all means, stop in for a brewski or two here at the old cantina... your always welcome.....

[Growltiger]

Hello Gandalph and Geoschmo

I am a bit like Gandalph now. Busy raising a family and dont seem to have the time to surf the net and play games like I used to. Have even uninstalled SEV from the PC.

When I have a little time to myself (and am not sleeping), tend to play Mediaval Total War II (but that is because I was always a sucker to command the Byzantines and to give them wretched Venetians the kicking of their pasta fuelled lives).

Oh yes, and the Turks get a whomping, them and their little dogs too

[President_Elect_Shang]

Growltiger... I seem to remember someone by that name.:p

[Puke]

Now here are a few old faces (avatars? handles?) that it's sure good to see again!

I'll have a pint delivered on a robotic war mongoose, but it probably wont taste the same if Taz isnt the one drawing it.

[mac5732]

Hey Puke, good to see your still around, as for Taz, havn't seen him around these parts in a long time, but by all means order a brewski.....

[Growltiger]

Watch'a Puke. Have a beer by all means (I will even buy, provided it is not one of them recycled foul tasting nausea inducing American beers), but dont let Mac serve it to you as bits of him keep on falling off and I have to remind him to wash his hands after using the toilet (and to use loo paper too)....

Actually, if you are going to drink one of them 'orrible American beers (must be pure as they taste like they have already been cycled through 1,000 sets of livers), it might improve the flavour if we get Mac to serve it AFTER he has been to the gents...

[mac5732]

I think GT fell asleep baby sitting or else he doing the wash hahahahahaha

[Growltiger]

Hmmmm... this is a shameful sign of the turbulent times we live in.

An Englishman makes a disparaging and risible remark about the quality of the products of the American brewing industry and not one person stages a fightback.

Either my remarks have been attributed as fair comment or times are so tough that everyone has other things on their mind (understandable)......

Have a good Christmas and New Year y'all, and here's hoping that Q1 2009 is better than all the economic pundits say it will be.

[Cipher7071]

In order to start a scrap over American beer, you first need to make a statement where we disagree. Most of the people I see out and about any more are drinking light beer. If you ask me, they might as well be drinking Mac's recyclings.

It is a sign of the times. I live in a low-population area in upper Michigan (U.S.), and it seems all the law can find to do here is wait around for a fellow who's had more than two or three. Such encounters are expensive now too. The court gets you once, and the Michigan Secretary of State (licensing) gets you again. :eek:

[Growltiger]

First, happy new year to you all. I hope that 2009 will be as painless as possible for everyone here.

Cipher

"In order to start a scrap over American beer, you first need to make a statement where we disagree" - I laughed so much at this that I wee'd down my leg and produced more raw material for budweiser.....

I dont think anyone should drink and drive at all. They are stricter over here in Blighty. If you are over the limit (about 1.5 pints of normal beer) you lose your licence first offence. I got breathalised three times over the Xmas period. Clear each time although I had drunk show much lemonade that I spent each time chuffing and belching at the poor policemen.

Drink driving is an offence. Extreme flatulence is not.

[mac5732]

glad you had a sober new years GT... or did you pull rank..hahahahahahah.... how are the dipers, have you learned to fold them the right way hahahahahaha..... how are the kids and wife? hmmm.... come to think of it, your munchkins are up and about now,,, damn time sure flies when your past 40 ;) well, the old place needs a face lift and some new stock behind the bar, have to find Taz and put him back to work around here.....

Hope everyone one had a nice new years. stop in and order one from the new FBWs