The Race to Insanity and Beyond!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Yeah, give that to me, I could use it on Puke.

[NullAshton]

Ashton tosses it over to StrategiaInUltima.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia catches it

[NullAshton]

Enough of the instant messanger style conversations, let other people have a turn. I deem a new rule, 2 people cannot post more than 4 times in a row.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia takes his new hammer and proceeds to smash Ashton into the ground

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Ooh, I'm dead?

More fun!

*The smoke curling up from the scorch mark drifts together, then forms a vague form, somewhat like an intelligent mouse, with red, glowing eyes. The form cackles madly, then red flames rush out of it's eyes, engulfing Strategia. When the flams clear, Strategia's eyes are also glowing red and his/it's skin has taken on a decidedly unhealthy palor. And the hammer is back in Narf's? hands.

'Now go forth, my creation! GO FORTH, AND DESTROY! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!'

[NullAshton]

Aaaaaaaaah! Run!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

With glowing red eyes, the new zombie-monster closes in on Ashton. Having nowhere to run, he cowers, trying to defend himself from the unstoppable giant in front of him.

The zombie picks him up with one hand and carries him to his master, Narf.

"Master..... here he is. Do I need to do it now or do you want to gloat?"

Ashton cowers even more and turns white.

Narf thinks real hard about it, but eventually gives the zombie a nod. Frightened, Ashton tries to squirm his way out of the zombie's grip, but it cannot be done. The zombie reaches downward, then pulls his hand up again, over Ashton's head.

"WEDGIE!!!!!"

[NullAshton]

Ow...

Ashton blasts the StrategiaInUltima zombie at point blank with an anti-proton gun, then walks off.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me sews the StrategiaZombie up, then installs a phased shield pack...He didn't need those organs anyway.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The zombie looks at the smoking hole. Unharmed but very pissed off, he grabs Ashton by his undies (the part between his pants and his head) and pulls him back.

Ashton grabs his AP blaster again, but the zombie grabs the barrel and bends it effortlessly.

"You are starting to make me angry. You don't like me when I'm angry."

[NullAshton]

Ashton takes out a molecular disintergrator, sticks it into the zombies stomach, and presses the big red button on it. StrategiaInUltima is promptly vaporized into subatomic particles.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

*In the meantime, the Narf-Wraith has floated up behind Ashton. Within seconds, there is a new zombie...

[NullAshton]

Ashton is shocked, and wakes up out of Narf's trance. Ashton sticks the disintergrator down Narf's throat, and presses the big red button.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Nothing happens.

[NullAshton]

I need a mage! Someone cast a wall of force or something on Narf!

EDIT: Wrong target, Einstein...

EDIT: EDIT: Narf is the one taking people over.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Gandalf (not any user, the LOTR Gandalf the White) appears, and swings his staff.

Ashton is thrown back by the force of magic, and lies semiconsciously against a wall.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Not Einstein, Gandalf! And I didn't say he should do it. He ust attacked the one that looked the most dangerous - and I must say that you look like the kind of person either crazy or megalomaniacally anough to "push the button".

[kerensky]

/Me walks in slowly during above said happenings and places egg shaped spheroid in middle of action and backs out. When a safe distance away, me pushes really big red button. Above said squabling person are enveloped in anti-matter disintigration field, tearing them apart on teh sub-atomic level in mere seconds.../

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me no longer has a body, so /me is not a wraith.../me is a ghost!

/me haunts Kerensky.

[kerensky]

/Me starts to hear voices in head and runs in circles./

See sig..

[Kamog]

I don't feel like turning into a zombie or a ghost when I die. I wonder if I can turn into a fossil. Maybe if I lie down in some lava I might become petrified when the lava solidifies?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

It's a special Narf power.

Along with coming back to life from ashes if soaked (Dehydrated Narf - Just add water), getting stronger from eating cheese and growing to eight feet tall.

As well as cartoon properties.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

.....No Kamog, you would turn into a hollow area inside the lava. The silhouets of the victims of Pompeii are plaster casts of the hollow areas where people died.

Strategia is cloned by his fleet, and his memories reinstated as he always has a permanent link to a secure memory bank.

"Sooo..... Narf turned me into a zombie, Ashton blasted my stomach out and Kerensky annihilated me with antimatter? CHARGE UP THE PLASMA LAUNCHERS!!!!!"

[NullAshton]

The mystical device in another universe reinstates Ashton's molucules to the instant before the antimatter device went off.

I only blew a hole in you because you were a zombie...

Ashton dumps water on Narf's remains, with the hammer on top.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Doesn't matter. I'm still pissed off."

The plasma launchers open fire. The burning red teardrops come screaming down, searing a path clear through the atmosphere. The first plasma bomb hits Ashton squarely on the head. The plasma explosion instantly vaporizes the little freak, sending him to the land of the dead again in endless agony. The rest of the plasma bombs sear the Narf remains so well, that it is simply a pile of random matter, not the remains of anything. Narf is no more (but is sure to come back).

"Comms officer..... open a channel to the Dimensions of Death."

From the blank screen, Ashton can be heard, screaming in agony.....

[NullAshton]

Actually I would be singing Hallaluah...

Ashton pops back again from his Clone-a-matic machine. He dumps water on Narf's random matter, to bring it back.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

You're in a hell-like place of emptiness and agony. You wouldn't be singing Halleluah.

Narf's random matter is now just a lifeless pile of random matter, no longer Narf's pile of random matter. It is lifeless, and the only way to get the mouse back is by fetching him from another dimension.

[TurinTurambar]

*/me tiptoes to "another dimension" and grabs Narf by the ear and yanks him thru the transdimensional transmogrifier.

[NullAshton]

Thank you. Narf will thank you. Now then...

Ashton launches a guided cream-puff towards StrategiaInUltima.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

'Oh, hi, it's me again. I integrated all of myselfs in other dimensions a while ago.'

Within seconds, the spaceways are crowded with a number of Narf's equal to X*1, X being a percentage of infinity. Soon, space is crowded with the strangest assortment of personal weaponry and transportation seen in X*1/N years, N being infinity.

About half a second after that, Strategia is atomized and turned into a frizbee.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

As Strategia has been turned into a frisbee, the guided cream pie now follows a flying object. Cleverly manipulating air flows, Stratefrisbee moves to behind Narf.

The cream pie hit and erased all the copy-cat Narfs.....

[NullAshton]

Sorry Narf! At least you're still alive!

Ashton grabs StrategiaInUltima, and throws him to a dog.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Stratefrisbee manipulates air flows again and zooms past the dog. He then moves on to annoy Ashton by flying close to his ears and getting away when he thrashes at him.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ashton gets so sick of the frisbee that he gets out his pulse cannon rifle and takes aim. The pulse misses barely, and Stratefrisbee believes it is time to run and get his own form back again.

Traveling to another dimension, the original Strategia is reinstated and returns, pretty pissed off.....

[Ruatha]

In another dimension, a frisbee hits Ruatha's head.
-Thanks, atleast it's not a shoe!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

* Narf's is mildly annoyed by a cream pie - But their work here is done, so they leave.

[NullAshton]

Charge up the WMG!

Has anyone noticed that Wave-Motion Guns have almost the same abbriviation as Weapons of Mass Destruction? WMDs, and WMGs...

[kerensky]

/kerensky travells back to his orbital bombardment facility via transporter beam to think out his next act of mass destruction.....


While waiting, throws several kegs of Romulan Ale to the squabling creatures on the planet surface./

(couldn't resist the ST reference, just finished watching some.)

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

WMG=Weapon of Mass Gooiness. A weapon that disintegrates organic matter into a pile of glop.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia fetches a fleet of COMCAs and blasts Kerensky's orbital bombing base into oblivion.....

.....after taking all leftover Romulan Ale kegs ofcourse.

[kerensky]

/Being an energy being... Kerensky reforms himself and puts into action his previously made plan. Transporting each of the members so far ensued in the commbat, he places them and himself in an enourmous maze, equiped with only an APB and their own imaginations.../

[kerensky]

ps. - the maze is multi level and has two switch points which randomly shift the pattern of the maze. Weapon upgrades are available at kiosks in teh maze. There is one kiosk per level.

[Will]

In case nobody noticed, the thread passed 10k views.

I'm not even going to try reading anything here...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

That's why it was called The Race to Infinity for a time until it was renamed again to The Race to Insanity. It is a pure nonsense thread.

[Ragnarok]

Hmm these threads do not mean what they used to. This nonsense thread will never come close to how great the Name Changing Thread of old was. The type of nonsense back then was by far better. /threads/images/Graemlins/Envy.gif

[NullAshton]

IT LIVES! And woohoo, we passed 10,000 posts! Time for a song...

Ooo hoo, ooo hoo hoo...
Ooo hoo, ooo hoo hoo...
Ooo hoo, ooo hoo hoo...
Ooo hoo, ooo hoo hoo...

People post stupid posts http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

wtf are you talking about man? 10k posts? we're still near 1k3 posts!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Oh you mean views.....

[kerensky]

Did anyone else notice that the site was down yesterday???

[kerensky]

Hello...

Anyone still posting here?????????????

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Nope. Never. Nobody here. Absolutly not.

[NullAshton]

WE ARE NOT POSTING! This is just an illusion created by your mind.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

YOU are an illusion created by your own mind.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

<font color="lightgrey"> </font>

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Not that again! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Why not?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

[AngleWyrm]

The cheshire cat grinned.
The master of the chesire cat who grinned, fed him another piece of cheese.
The waitress serving the master of the chesire cat who grinned, that had fed him another piece of cheese, brought more cheese.
The doggy outside the window of the restaurant where the waitress serving the master of the chesire cat who grinned, that had fed him another piece of cheese, who had brought more cheese, peed on a hydro.

[NullAshton]

?

That was pointless...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

What happened to the hydro?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Somebody else PLEASE post here!!!!! I've got 2 "joke" files I want to upload here, but I don't want to violate the 2 posts in a row rule! Somebody? Please?

[El_Phil]

Go on then. But I fear what I may unleash on an unsuspecting board...

Hmm not right, we know what to expect

On an undeserving board..

Nope, we have encouraged you so, so I guess we do deserve it.

[NullAshton]

There's also a post limit on 2 people...

[kerensky]

SO let me get this right....

Anything anyone posts here is a figment of my imaginantion... I am a figment of imagination... That would explain why I am an imortal energy being...

[NullAshton]

I think one of us is thinking too hard, I'm getting a headache.

Come to the new Won-Ton Violence Takeout Hut!

[Combat Wombat]

Been awhile since I posted in this thread so I thought I would say Hi.

[Combat Wombat]

Hi

[DeadZone]

Yes I think I will say Hello as well

[DeadZone]

Hello as well

[kerensky]

Hi from an imortal-energy-being-who-is-a-figment-of-everyones-imagination-including-my-own

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

First nonsense file.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Second nonsense file.

OK I know it's terrible but I created them yesterday when I was bored, and I just thought I'd upload them here.

[El_Phil]

kerensky said:
SO let me get this right....

Anything anyone posts here is a figment of my imaginantion... I am a figment of imagination... That would explain why I am an imortal energy being...



Unless your just imagining that your a figment of your imagination and you are in fact both real and very confused.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

You're imagining that you're a figment of your imagination, but that immagination is also a figment of your imagination. It's OK if you feel paranoid now.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Circular attempt. Doesn't work. No place for it to be.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

And so his own paradoxical paradox erases him from the very face of existence, in all of spacetime.

Who are we talking about here?

[El_Phil]

I believe we just lost Kerensky to a paradox.

'Gentlemen, a toast to Kerensky. A fine member of the forum erased from space time in his prime when he killed by a vicious logical space-time paradox.'

[NullAshton]

Is there supposed to be a black hole with swirling gasses around it in this channel where Kerensky used to be?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Who is this "Kerensky" you talk about? And what do you mean by "erased from spacetime"? I don't know anybody who has been erased from spacetime.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

[NullAshton]

Ashton bonks Strategia on the head.

Memory in sci-fi isn't affected by someone being erased from space-time, you idiot.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

And Strategia did a paradox too.

Wait a minute...Who's Str...So anyway, who here likes cheese?

[kerensky]

So does this mean I exist in another reality or should I just reform my enrgy being in this one???

[kerensky]

I like cheese, at least I think that this is cheese. It's kinda hard to get used to living in a time/space paradoxial rift.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Me paradox? Me no paradox. Me just a small green wrinkled little guy with amazing Force powers.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Like Yoda, you do not speak. Practice much, you must, grasshopper.

[El_Phil]

If I keep hearing these voices then I may be forced to accept that some people called Kerensky and Strat may exist. Or I could just repress and deny their existance http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[David E. Gervais]

El_Phil said:
... then I may be forced to accept that some people called Kerensky and Strat may exist.



For some people no proof is necessary. for others no proof will suffice.. me,.. I believe, I Believe, I BELIEVE!

but then again I'm strange that way http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Cheers!

P.S. I love Cheeze, can anyone say Kraft Dinner? mmmmmmmm yummy.

[El_Phil]

Unless it's a conspiracy? Secret shadowy agents of the goverment pretending to be posters on this board as part of some vast and complex plan for world domination!

[NullAshton]

I think Strategia got caught in a secret goverment project, and now is on this board 24/7, bonded with the database. Kerensky is now inside a black hole due to his paradox.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

El_Phil said:
Unless it's a conspiracy? Secret shadowy agents of the goverment pretending to be posters on this board as part of some vast and complex plan for world domination!


WHAT?!?! We had a specific agreement! This is *MY* territory!!!!

oops

[El_Phil]

Ha! Rumbled, there's only one thing any right minded person can do when uncovering a conspiracy: Blackmail a decent position in the new world goverment under threat of going public.

So I think Minister for Pubs, Bars and Cantinas would be a fair price for my silence

[NullAshton]

What if they decide to kill you?

Ashton watches the black cars pull up to El_Phil's house.

[El_Phil]

The agents burst into El Phil's house only to discover that he isn't there. Meanwhile in a different country altogether El Phil sits back and laughs.

Ahhh but all I know has been entrusted to various people to be released in the event of my death, disaperance or failure to contact them in the correct manner with the right code.

[Kamog]

I like cheese too! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif Especially Swiss cheese.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

After thorough background research, tracking transmissions, interrogating people etc., the black helicopters silently hover over the locations of El_Phil and his associates.

Several square miles of real estate are free again.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Narf thinks a bit, then presses a button on the NSN Murphy's Law. All but one of the helicopters vanishes in a ball of fire.

[NullAshton]

Ashton watches from a safe location as something goes wrong with the Murphy's Law, and the reactor suddenly overloads.

You really need to name it something else. How about 'Invincible'?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me watches the pretty explosion of the NSN Murphy's Law, reminiscent of the total existence failure of the GSS Titanic, in the early days of Improbability Physics. /Me then goes on to christen my new warship the KCNS Utterly Safe.

[NullAshton]

Ashton watches again as a Norak battle fleet pops up next to the Utterly Safe through a spatial anomaly, and quickly obliterate it.

You really got to stop naming your ships like that. If the name says its safe or whatever, then it's NOT safe, and will be quickly destroyed.

If it has a disaterous name, like the Predictably Damaged, then what's in it's name happens.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me sighs and starts building Murphy's Law 3, as the explosion rips away most of the Earth's crust.

*Really* didn't think that through, guys.

[NullAshton]

A person accidentally screws the conduits on wrong, and the whole ship goes up in a big ball of plasma.

Get Narf away from habitable planets!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

A part of the Salagull forces come charging in and take the mouse into custody - though not before about 80% of them die by his hammer.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The mouse is still in custody.

[NullAshton]

No! He might name the cell he's on! Eject him into empty space somewhere! Or even better, in another dimension!

[El_Phil]

Power up some form of anti-plot-device device. Quickly!

[NullAshton]

I know! We can deploy a whole bunch of red shirts!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me pulls out a remote control, pushes a button and is gone...Somewhere. Unfortunatly, there was no time to set a destination.

[NullAshton]

Narf, I'll see you in...

Ashton looks at his watch

A few thousand years!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

*Seems accurate (http://www.shrapnelcommunity.com/threads/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Number=347076&amp;page=0&amp;view=collap sed&amp;sb=5&amp;o=&amp;fpart=3&amp;vc=#Post347076)*

[David E. Gervais]

Has this place reached the 'Beyond Insanity' zone yet?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[David E. Gervais]

BTW, it sounds like Narf is playing with a D-Hopper, but we all know that Aahz scrambled the inscriptions on that 'device' so that nobody could predict their destination. (or return once they left.)

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

...Actually, I got the idea from www.reallifecomics.com (http://www.reallifecomics.com) Not sliders. Didn't watch that much.

[kerensky]

[i]/ Me being a paradox (memoir on my trip through the time/space rift will be coming soon), pulls Narf from his unknown location back to the present./ [i]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

* However, he misses Narf's entry point by an uncertain amount of time, returning with a somewhat later (Cartoons don't get older) Narf.

[kerensky]

Hey ahs anyone seen the commercials for the movie " A Hitchickers Guide to the Galaxy"? It looks pretty good.

[NullAshton]

It does. It's right below Star Wars Episode III on movies to watch.

[kerensky]

I've never actually read the book, but I hear that it is pretty good

[Lenin]

Dear Guys,
Sorry to butt in. This still open to newbies? Best Hitchikers was the BBC radio series some years ago. Don't know if the new movie will be any good, but looks pretty great from the publicity shots. If it's anything like the books then Very British. Enjoy!

[David E. Gervais]

Did anyone else see the commercials for a new "Dr. Who" TV Series? looks good, I guess we can look forward to some 'interesting' TV this year.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[kerensky]

Must... resurect... thread.....

[kerensky]

The insanity seams to have stopped for a while....

[narf poit chez BOOM]

It does that...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"The insanity STOPPED?!? Now, but NO MORE!!!!!"

With that, Strategia rushes in.

[NullAshton]

IT'S DYING! NOOOOOOO!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

* Gives Strategia a blank stare

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me stares blankly back

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me gets bored with staring blankly at Narf and shifts his gaze to a point close to infinity and concentrates on that. Do not disturb.

[El_Phil]

So what's the prize for the first person to get to beyond insanity?

I'd like an elaborate medal ceremony and more Miss World finalists than is in any way feasible.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me hangs a sign on Strategia - Do not disturb. Disturbed enough already.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me stares blankly at Narf in a "Thank You" sort of way, then focuses on the point about three-quarters of the way to infinity again.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

[NullAshton]

Ashton sticks a randomly generated sign in front of Strategia, blocking his view of infinity.

Sorry, the curvature of space isn't doing enough yet.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me sticks out a semi-limp arm at the sign, then suddenly in one flashing movement, pulls out a quantum-wave pulse gun cleverly concealed in his sleeve and fires it at the base of the sign, causing it to collapse. The arm stays in forward position for a while, then drops limply to his side again. Then suddenly, as NA prepares to randomly generate another sign, the arm shoots up and fires. Realizing his mistake, NA reads the sign just as the second shot erases him from quantum existence.

"Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."

[NullAshton]

I survived!

Ashton gets shot at again.

I still survive! Although I'm not quite in this dimension...

So that's where all those missing socks go...

[El_Phil]

El Phil slowly sneaks up on the side of infinity. Then using the 'Sterelised bargepole'TM pushes it about 3ft to the left.

Strategia will never notice! Mwuuuahahahahah

[NullAshton]

Ashton floats past infinity.

Will someone get me out of here?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me gets Ashton out of 'here' and puts him 'there'.

[NullAshton]

Ashton floats at the other end of infinity.

That's not what I meant.

NullAshton continues floating.

Anyone else notice infinity looks like an umbrella?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Ooh Purrdy....."

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Whatever happened to letting the phone ring six times? Three times is an entirely inadequate number if you are asleep or busy with something you can't put down immediatly, and yet it seems everybody just lets it ring three times, which, in some cases, tends to be just enough for me to get to the phone, but not long enough to answer it in time. Madness!

[Jack Simth]

narf poit chez BOOM said:
Whatever happened to letting the phone ring six times? Three times is an entirely inadequate number if you are asleep or busy with something you can't put down immediatly, and yet it seems everybody just lets it ring three times, which, in some cases, tends to be just enough for me to get to the phone, but not long enough to answer it in time. Madness!

Answering machines are what happened. Almost nobody want to talk to a silly tape recorder, and most of them pick up after 3-4 rings. That, and (in many parts of the US, at least) a telemarketer isn't permitted to leave a message on an answering machine (seems like the majority of phone traffic, these days). So, after 3 rings, they hang up to avoid encountering one.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Ah. Thanks.

[Kamog]

It seems that about 75% of the calls I get are from telemarketers. Good thing I got call display now. I got tired of talking to all these telemarketers everyday so now I usually don't answer the phone if the call is not from someone I know.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Kamog, this one I got from Seinfeld (just picked it up in passing):

"Ah. So you're selling insurance policies, then? Well, how about you giving me your home number so I can call you back? Oh? So you don't like being called at home by complete strangers? Well, NEITHER DO I!!!" hangs up the phone

[NullAshton]

I've noticed that you can get to about 5-6 rings before the answering machine picks up.

[Will]

Hey Ashton, nice .sig... Where'd you get it?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me stares blankly at Will for a while.

[NullAshton]

From you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif Was something you said on one of these topics. Thought it was funny, so I placed it in my signature http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

[douglas]

How long did it take you to make that post?

[El_Phil]

Cleary far far far too long

[David E. Gervais]

Strat,.. your smilie post was/is just plain rude. This is the race to insanity, not the "How rude can you be?" thread.

It's close to the boarder though, so take this as a frendly warning before you cross the line.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[NullAshton]

I have a 100 page pre-written smiley spam somewhere. Just have to cut and paste!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

It wasn't meant to be rude, sorry.

How long? Well, under thirty seconds. Copy/paste is your friend. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[NullAshton]

Did you just edit your previous post to be longer? IT TAKES A MINUTE TO LOAD THE PAGE NOW!

AND I HAVE CABLE!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

No i didnt

[David E. Gervais]

..post edited due to references to obsolete info..

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[David E. Gervais]

hmm, It must have been an illusion,.. but it was so vivid http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Sorry 'bout that, it's just that I saw someone do that someplace else and I thought it'd make a good(?) addition to the Insanity thread. Well, guess I was wrong then. Oh well.

[David E. Gervais]

Don't be sorry, You are now wiser and better versed in forum etiquette. You'll be able to aprieciate and laugh when someone else makes a goof like this.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif [i]

[NullAshton]

Strategia, where have you been post padding?

[NullAshton]

Ooo... Major! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[El_Phil]

Thats a thought...


Sergeant! Just sneaked up on me out of nowhere.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[NullAshton]

Will you stop that? Make a meaningful post about the topic.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif Smilies! Smilies are fun! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Is this the right place to come for post padding? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[David E. Gervais]

..and remember a double post is legal, but tripple posts are just plain bad manners. We got to have some order in all this chaos. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

That IS the topic, right? Smilies?

[El_Phil]

Shameless post padding. What is the world coming to?

pad
pad
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Bingo!
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[NullAshton]

The topic is insanity. Gentlemen, put on your straitjackets!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me burns the straitjackets

[El_Phil]

Straitjackets?!

They for cowards. Mwuhahahah!

[NullAshton]

I don't wear them myself, I still have my sanity.

[Gandalf Parker]

I dont.

Ive wrestled with reality
fought off insanity
and played with fantasy
and you actually ask me which I prefer?

Gandalf Parker

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ashton? Sanity?!? HAH! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[NullAshton]

I'm sane, unlike what most of you people think http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Are we there yet?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Beyond insanity? I am, for certain. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

David, no offense, but when I see this emoticon http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif it always reminds me of you..... Again, no offense! I really don't know why, but it does!

[El_Phil]

In which case hasn't someone won the race yet?

Straitjackets? Pah. They are for cowards and people with dubious fashion taste. I want elan, flair and some kind of elaborate hat!

[NullAshton]

I won the race http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[El_Phil]

Ahh but you suggested the straitjackets, that's gotta be a disqualifying offence!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

A dignified hat? OK, here you go.

Strategia places an inverted funnel on Phil's head.

[El_Phil]

Elaborate hat damnit! So making it from a mixture of gold, platinum and diamond in the shape of a wilderbeast. Something like that

[douglas]

douglas places a solid gold hat with a life-size solid gold statue of an adult elephant standing on top of it on El_Phil's head. Sorry, but the statue is an integrate part of the hat, and a small device in the base of the hat just surgically attached it to your skull.

Have fun trying to stand up.

[El_Phil]

Hmmm if I hadn't fitted an anti-grav generator in my hair many years ago that could be inconvienient.

Luckily in a effort to save money on hair gel each of my hairs was fitted with a sub-quantum anti-grav emitter so they can levitate the hat.

Now kneel surfs! This hat clearly proclaims me to be your king, like pulling Excalibur out of the stone but heavier!

[douglas]

It seems rather implausible that antigrav generators meant to reduce the need for hair gel would be up to the task of supporting something that big, but I'll let that pass. You still have to deal with the hat's mass. It won't press you into the floor, but every time you move you have to exert enough force to make the hat move with you. If my math is right and my estimate of the volume of an adult elephant isn't too far off, it's at least 100 metric tons. Even without having to overcome friction, that's a lot to move.

[NullAshton]

Ashton sticks anti-grav drives on the elephant.
There you go. Go off smashing douglas to the ground with your new hat http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[douglas]

NullAshton said:
Ashton sticks anti-grav drives on the elephant.
There you go. Go off smashing douglas to the ground with your new hat http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif


No effect. Antigrav neutralizes weight, not mass, and El_Phil already had antigrav devices holding it up.

[El_Phil]

Very well! Time for the king of all headbuts with a carefully timed switch off of the anti-grav drives!

BLAM

Kahhnnn!

El Phil summons the Geeskat charioteers who charge in from the B&amp;G. The head Geeskat sees the problem and uses his adamntium coated serrated penguin beaks to slice off the hat. It is then taken back to their mountain fortress in darkest Assyria as a trophy!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia turns, and lets out a shriek as he sees the elephant. Thinking it's a yellow Trelyi Beach Elephant, he takes out a pulse bazooka. The red dot of the target laser flickers across every critical body part of the elephant, until Strategia spots Phil.

Thinking he's let the elephant in, the red dot slowly flickers on Phil, moving about less and less, until it's movement radius is about one millimeter.

The cleaner bots'll need to bring some large-scale biomatter removal apparatus to clean this mess.....

[El_Phil]

Strategia is so fouced on El Phil he isn't looking behind him. At the hundreds of very annoyed Geeskat pulling the golden elephant hat away. They don't take kindly to their leader being threatened. As the room echos to hundreds of rotary pulse grenade launchers are pulled out and primed Straegia realises he may be in some trouble.

[douglas]

Meanwhile, back at his main control room, douglas watches through satellite surveillance as the giant gold hat is carried to El_Phil's fortress. One minute after it goes in and out of sight, he presses a button, shutting off the containment system for the 1 kg of antimatter secretly hidden in the very center of the statue.

So much for that mountain fortress.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia does realize he's in trouble. But, he quickly places a call on the earth-to-orbit phone and then stands by, looking relaxed.

The orbital plasma launcher crews are happy again.....

[El_Phil]

Thankfully my GeesKat were all forced to watch Troy as form of mental toughening so had put the hat in Quarrantine.

Remember the old adage: "Beware Trjoans, their complete smegheads"

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia watches amusedly as the plasma teardrop eradicates all of Phil and his forces. Big badda boom and a large crater.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

*cough*cough*cough* man that plasma explosion sure created a lot of smoke *cough*hack*cough*

[El_Phil]

*cough*
You know that cheap Dutch Plasma just isn't worth it. You shouldn't have skimped when building that orbital plasma, half the price I'll grant you, but I've seen water pistols with more firepower.

Let him have it boy!

The Geeskat let rip with their rapid fire pulse grenade launchers. Carefully firing in a circle around Strategia they remove all support from the floor. As the last peice of the floor drops away. Strategia just hangs there while gravity looks the other way, abit embaressed.

Do drop by again

El Phil turns off the anti-grav drive and Strategia falls into the pit of Budweiser bellow

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....."[big sploosh]

And I didn't use Dutch plasma launchers, or skimp on the construction cost. I hired a team of skilled Hiigaran engineers, and paid a high price. But I'll play along.

[El_Phil]

Ahhh you may have paid a high price but I think there was an error in your translator. When you heard "The works been done." they we're saying "You've been done."

Besides it can be a launcher from anywhere, but if it launches Dutch plasma (the 108th state of matter) then anybody can withstand its alleged power!

[NullAshton]

Use quark-gluon plasma, it's several trillion degrees http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif Would vaporize anything, probally even neutronium.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Didn't use a translator. I speak Dutch, English and Hiigaran perfectly.

Quark-gluon plasma? You do know quarks and gluons are what make up protons and neutrons? And btw, it's nothing compared to what I use to generate plasma.

Subquantum particles from before the Big Bang.

Each plasma teardrop is a small Big Bang, it just doesn't expand because a universe already exists around it.

[NullAshton]

Riiiiiight......

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me puts on a gas-mask, then sprays Deth-To-Munchkins everywhere.

Well, that's the end of that.

[NullAshton]

You people are insane http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Strat, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif is not me. This is me.. /threads/images/Graemlins/icon18.gif hahahahaha http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif LOL http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Edit: with this post I am now a full fledged General.. I thought I'd never get here.

[NullAshton]

Cool... Me want http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I know http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif isn't you. Somehow, though, it always reminds me of you. I honestly have no idea whatsoever why.

[NullAshton]

It's because you're insane.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I already knew that, you know.

By the way, do you realize you're talking to a mirror? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? I'm crazy, aren't I? Well? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Water?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ahhh a fellow nutcase.....

[El_Phil]

Well crazy can be defined as being significantly different from the majority.

So around here it is only the sane who are crazy!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The sane are crazy? Then the crazy are sane? But then the sane are crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane? But they're crazy? But they're sane?

I don't get it anymore.

[El_Phil]

Ahhhh. Finally you understand the wisdom of the thread young Grasshopper. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[NullAshton]

O.o I don't think I get it either. What is sane but the opposite of a crazy person? But shouldn't there be two opposite crazy people somewhere? Does that mean that there's no such thing as being sane?

[El_Phil]

You could argue that there is in fact no such thing as "Sane", certainly no absolute standard anyway. It is all relative and depends upon circumstance and company.

So a person considered 'sane' by society at large would be in the minority around here, hence 'insane' round here.

[David E. Gervais]

What does crazy have to do with insanity?.. nothing, they are close cousins, but not 'connected' in any way. Crazy is closer to 'Wild' than 'Insane'. Of course they each have their 'perimeters' and they may overlap, but they are definately not the same. Then you have subsets of Wild, Crazy and Insane,.. Berzerk, and Frenzied. There sure alot happening in and around these terms, and they do seem to all apply to this thread, so I guess in the end you are right, it's all the same. But it isn't at the same time, hmmm,.. this needs more thought..

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[El_Phil]

Well if it was simple it wouldn't be fun would it?

Insane does sound more medical and scientific. I mean you wouldn't have "Arkham Asylum for the Criminaly Crazy" would you? Although it would sound funny I suppose.

Whereas Crazy, for me at least, is someone choosing to do something odd/dangerous/weird/whatever but with no medical reason, they just felt like doing it.

Some tentative thoughts.

[NullAshton]

I think insane is having conflicting motivations driving your actions, causing you to have opposing actions. Something like that.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Nope. Insane is when a voice in your head tells you to fire orbital plasma launchers at megalopolises. WHEE! Bye-bye Tokyo! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

There goes Rio! Happy Carnival! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[El_Phil]

Nothing wrong with voices in your head. It's only when other people can't hear them that you may have problems.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

What was that you said? Oh, no, not you Phil, it was..... turns around and stands puzzled in front of a large open space completely devoid of people Oh, he's gone away..... Hey! Where were you?

[NullAshton]

Insane can also mean out of touch with reality. Hmmm, that would describe most of us...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ree-yali-tee? What sort of race are they? Do you have a shipset? Are they agressive or pacifist? Do they have racial tech? Does it have full AI? What do their ships look like? What sort of planet are they from? What atmosphere do they breathe?

[Kamog]

We're not insane! Maybe a little abnormal, but not insane.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I am http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[NullAshton]

I say insane. Especially Strategia, of course he could just be brain-dead.

[El_Phil]

Insane is good for the soul, much better than stark cold sanity. You'll have far more fun this way.

I'll give you that NA, it could be it is OK to harvest Strategias organs right now. Unless his brain activity kicks up a few gears of course http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[NullAshton]

If we bring the infinite probability drive in here, that'll happen. Otherwise, theres as much chance of that happening as me winning the galactic lottery.

[TerranC]

This thread is still alive! Why is it still alive?! It should have died a long time ago!

Seeing this thread alive makes TC go insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 one

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[El_Phil]

Well now you've gone insane. Welcome to the race, here's your race number and inflatable straight jacket. Remember no spitting, rational actions or quoting French philosphers. We'll have no absurdity of existence rubbish around here.

[NullAshton]

The French have philosphers?

[El_Phil]

Nope. They only have pretentious idiots spouting twaddle.

Hang on a minute.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[NullAshton]

Maybe they're the reason why everyone hates the French, bad philosphers.

[Gandalf Parker]

TerranC said:
This thread is still alive! Why is it still alive?! It should have died a long time ago!

Seeing this thread alive makes TC go insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Of course it is alive. It has become the purpose, the goal, the reason. Its an epitome, a culmination, and the obvious end result. It was prophesied and has come to pass. It has become a prime example which shall live for as long as archives exist.

Gandalf Parker

[El_Phil]

Gandalf Parker said:

TerranC said:
This thread is still alive! Why is it still alive?! It should have died a long time ago!

Seeing this thread alive makes TC go insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Of course it is alive. It has become the purpose, the goal, the reason. Its an epitome, a culmination, and the obvious end result. It was prophesied and has come to pass. It has become a prime example which shall live for as long as archives exist.

Gandalf Parker



Indeed. It is the thing and the symbol of the thing. (Biscuit for the reference.)

[El_Phil]

NullAshton said:
Maybe they're the reason why everyone hates the French, bad philosphers.



There are hundreds of excellent reasons to hate the French, you can't narrow it down to just one. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[NullAshton]

We aren't still mad at Napoleon for trying to take over the world twice, are we?

[El_Phil]

Certainly. Him and Nicholas Anelka, Charles de Gaulle and many other too numerous to list here.

[NullAshton]

1,500th post!!!