The Race to Insanity and Beyond!

[NullAshton]

1,500th reply!!!

[AngleWyrm]

StarBase-1
Where the Admiral is playing darts while the Captain watches:
"So your orders are as follows:" <thunk> "You are to transport..." <thunk> "...Vital medical supplies..." <thunk> "...To our allies on the far side of enemy territory." The Captain squints at the dart board, where the admiral was reading the orders from his dart game, labelled "Order-Generator v1.01".

"It doesn't seem to be a very...accurate method, sir."
"Oh nonsense; the available tasks and zone sizes are dynamically adjusted to match the Captain's track record, the Admiral's dart skill, and the current geo-political situation."

"Sir, is this all you HQ types do around here?"
"Heavens no! Sometimes we play golf. Now be along with you, and send in that pretty secretary of mine to retrieve my darts."

[AngleWyrm]

Transporter Room
The captain is standing in front of a replicator, handing out equipment.
"One for you, and one for you--" He looks up at ensign Fodder, a security person in a red shirt.
"Son, that's just not gonna work."
"Sir?"
The Captain turns around, pulls a blue shirt out of the replicator and hands it to ensign Fodder. "Here, put this on."
First Officer says "Well that ought to substantially increase Away Team survivability."
"My thoughts exactly."

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Ensign Fodder, first name Cannon?

[EaX]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
Nope. Insane is when a voice in your head tells you to fire orbital plasma launchers at megalopolises. WHEE! Bye-bye Tokyo! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif



what??? should i ignore the millon voices from the Collective???? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rant.gif

[El_Phil]

Bridge of starship
"Captain there's an enemy ship, shields raised and arming weapons!"
"Drop shields, let's see if they want to talk..."

Famous last words #374

[NullAshton]

Why drop shields if you're going to talk? You can talk with your phasers and quantum torpedos, can't you?

[El_Phil]

What?!? Firing your weapons? That's a sackable offence in TNG!

You must talk to aliens at all times, unless you have a Class A (Kirk) or Class B (Sisko) licence. Or special dispensation due to being stuck in the wrong quadrant.

[NullAshton]

What about being stuck in the wrong reality?

[El_Phil]

On a case by case basis, but don't count on it. You need at least three independent verifications that its an evil reality before they'll even consider it. This is TNG

"We come in peace and with a limited special effects budget."

[NullAshton]

This is the topic that goes on and on...
Some people posted in it not knowing what it was...
They'll continue posting in it on and on...
This is the topic that never ends...

[El_Phil]

"There can be only one!" topic

[NullAshton]

That was pointless.

[NullAshton]

And this is pointless too. Yay pointless stuff!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

This thread is pointless,
That is true.
Maybe we will have,
A monkey in here too.

Silly poetry by Narf's brain.

[AngleWyrm]

There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
He sat in the meadow just shaking his
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick
They're feet the water their hands on their
Marbles and playthings and at half past four
There came a young lady she looked like a
Pretty young creature she sat on the grass
She pulled up her dress and she showed them her
Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children so they would not spit
While the boys in the barnyard were shovelling
Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellow down by the dock
He looked like a man with a sizable
Home in the country with a big fence out front
If he asked her politely she'd show him her
Little pet dog who was subject to fits
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small tender hands with a movement so quick
And then she'd bend over and suck on his
Candy so tasty made of butterscotch
And then he'd spread whipped cream all over her...

[Kamog]

A good way for alien planets to avoid disasters such as deadly plagues, asteroid collisions, Klingon attacks, and so on is to make sure that the Enterprise never visits them.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

'Quick! It's a Plot! Run and hide!'

[El_Phil]

Ahh but as they are "Alien of the week"TM they only evolve from pond slime a few days before Enterprise turns up and their entire civilisation is limited to a few dozen people.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Anyone want to buy an X-Wing? http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6526951008

Take a look at R2-D2 built into a car? http://www.expectnothing.com/CAR/xwingdelsol.shtml

Lego star wars: http://www.lego.com/starwars/scrroom.asp?x=x&id=1

New FFN and Nodwick: http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/nodwick/index.htm

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

That X-Wing has shortened wings??? Bugger http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

Hmmm, backyard project anyone? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[NullAshton]

It's possible to make an actual flying x-wing, using those s-foils as wings, and adding jet engines to it. Add some cannons to the edges of the wings...

[Gandalf Parker]

Hello? Hello? Is this the forums epitaph thread?
(thank you all for the validation)

Do super heros exist to fight super villains or do they create super villains for them to have to fight? Think about it. A vast majority of super villains were "created" by the fact that there was a super hero around.

OK what is my count up to now?


Gandalf Parker

[NullAshton]

Ashton smashes Gandalf's head in with a comic book.

Who cares, its stil cool.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

AngleWyrm_2 said:
Transporter Room
The captain is standing in front of a replicator, handing out equipment.
"One for you, and one for you--" He looks up at ensign Fodder, a security person in a red shirt.
"Son, that's just not gonna work."
"Sir?"
The Captain turns around, pulls a blue shirt out of the replicator and hands it to ensign Fodder. "Here, put this on."
First Officer says "Well that ought to substantially increase Away Team survivability."
"My thoughts exactly."



Planet

The away team beams down. Nifty SFX, but the actors got their cues wrong so they run up to where they're supposed to be right after the SFX. A really ugly team of blue alien monsters-- Oh, no, wait, that's the TV studio board of directors. Oops! Ah, there they are. A really ugly group of GREEN alien reptile-monsters stands a short distance away, weapons raised.

The leader speaks.
"Kill all Redshirts! Don't fire at anyone else!"
Since there are no redshirts, only one blueshirt and some goldshirts, they lower their weapons. One of the aliens lifts his weapon and shoots the blueshirt.
*CRACKLE*ZAP*"Aaaargghhh!!!!!"
"Oh dammit, I should've known not to bring a colorblind soldier with me on patrol....."

[El_Phil]

Enterprise Ready Room

"Captain we have a problem."
"What's that Number 1."
"I'm an incompetent idiot. But that aside our redshirt insurance has lapsed."
"Damn! How much to renew it?"
"That's the problem. No-one will touch them. They have a life expectancy lower than Palestinian suicide bombers!"
"Bugger."

OK so a few beers may have influenced this post.

[NullAshton]

I say we dye all ensigns blue, so they won't die.

[El_Phil]

That raises a philosophical question:

"Is it the redshirt that condems ensigns to death, or do those who are domed to die end up in a redshirt?"

It could be that even in blue they'll still end up just as dead, but slightly more colourfully.



Ahhh company "recruitment" or "free beer" don't you love it? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif:D:D:

[NullAshton]

What if we have robots fitted with red shirts go into the front lines? They'd soak up the hits, and the blue and gold shirts wouldn't be in any danger.

[El_Phil]

But these are "Aliens of the week"TM. They evolved specially just to shoot expendable extras and then be impressed by Kirks stilted pause filled speechs. I think they evolve with the inate ability to spot un-named characters and then kill them.

Of course this is the great debate in redshirt-ology: Unamed or shirt colour, which gets them killed?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Well, since I remember one named redshirt who didn't get killed (The blood-drinking space-cloud episode), it's obviously being unnamed.

[AngleWyrm]

NewGuy Syndrome; anyone we haven't seen before that goes on away missions is very likely to die. Maybe as part of away team training they should stand in line in front of the camera for several episodes before actually going on an away mission.

It might also help if they introduced themselves.

[NullAshton]

If they're standing there being clueless, they're going to die. Simple as that. I almost don't feel sorry for them...

[El_Phil]

You know I think there's a secret starbase somewhere cloning redshirts. Surely there can't be anyone left in the universe who doesn't know that being a redshirt will get you killed?

[NullAshton]

Strategia, why did you put 1,500 in the topic?

[Kamog]

There is one exception: wearing a red shirt is OK if your name is Scotty.

[El_Phil]

Ahh but he had a name. That should solve it in favour of only unnamed extras getting wiped out. Works for me.

As to why 1,500 was in the topic it is Strategia. There doesn't actually need to be a reason, in fact there probably isn't http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Perhaps because the thread past 1,500 posts?

[El_Phil]

Yes but it did that quite a few posts before. None of the other posts had mentioned it and Strategias post had nothing to do with it.


So that probably was the reason http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Hello?!? Ashton changed the name to "1,500", not me!

Even if you dye all the redshirts blue, well, read what happened on the planet.....

[NullAshton]

On Star Trek: Enterprise, they had a homage to redshirts dying. Lieutenant Reed was wearing one of the old redshirts, and a convientently placed explosive killed him.

[Kamog]

I rented the DVD for A.I.: Artificial Intelligence and watched it. This movie is 3 or 4 years old, it's the one with the boy android (Haley Joel Osment) who has real feelings. I never saw it until now.

That movie is good but it is a very sad story and it almost made me cry! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

[NullAshton]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! This topic is dying! KEEP IT ALIVE!

[El_Phil]

Get me a crate of madness and the backing music from Benny Hill! And a few skimply dressed bimbos to run around after in a comically speeded up fashion. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me is already mad

[kerensky]

<font color="red"> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\</font>
<font color="blue"> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/</font>
<font color="orange"> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\</font>
<font color="green"> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/</font>
<font color="yellow"> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\</font>
<font color="purple"> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/</font>

[NullAshton]

Nice wavy lines. You do sine waves?

[Kamog]

I finally learned what those little numbers on shirts mean. Until a few days ago, I only understood S, M, L, XL, and XXL as shirt sizes, and I was mystified by numbers like 17 34-35. I knew that medium size fits me so I buy "M". If it had those weird numbers instead, I didn't buy those particular shirts because I didn't understand.

Finally I got frustrated and asked the salesperson at the clothes store. I didn't understand her explaination so I bugged her some more and finally I understood that the first number is the collar size. You put a tape measure around your neck and the number of inches is the collar size. The other two numbers, like 32-33 is the sleeve length in inches, and if there's two numbers like that with a dash in between, it's a range and either one is OK.

[David E. Gervais]

... are we there yet?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[NullAshton]

NEVER!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I am http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[El_Phil]

Show off. And what are you going to do until the rest of us get there? Bet its pretty lonely up there. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[kerensky]

NullAshton said:
Nice wavy lines. You do sine waves?



No. I'm not even quite sure what they are, though the term has a slightly fuzzy memory attached to it.

<font color="red"> ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() </font>
<font color="orange"> &lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt; </font>
<font color="yellow"> {}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}}{}}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{} </font>
<font color="green"> [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] </font>
<font color="blue"> -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- </font>
<font color="purple"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </font>

[NullAshton]

Sine waves are the one at the buttom, the tiny wavy lines http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Kamog]

I bought some cabbage and I put it in my fridge but I didn't need to use it for about a week and a half. Then, when I unwrapped it, the cabbage was full of bugs - hundreds of little flies and aphids, most of them still crawling around! I peeled off the outer layers and there were more bugs, and there were bugs even deep inside. I threw it away.

[NullAshton]

On a side note, what do you think of my new signature?

[Kamog]

Hmm, I'm considering lining up at the theatre for the new Star Wars movie. I wonder if it's true that some people have started waiting in line a month early...

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Why? The movie will be exactly the same in a month, when all the fuss and long lines will probably be game.

Plus, a near-empty theatre is a lot more peacefull.

[Kamog]

I had the realization that there's some things that come neatly folded when you buy them, but once you open it up, it's hard to put it back properly.
- road maps
- sleeping bags
- dress shirts

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Space-ship parachutes.

They had some astronauts come by when I was in elementary once. Big huge parachute, teeny tiny little can - about five inches high and no more than three across.

[Kamog]

I just noticed that this forum is for both Space Empires IV and V now.

[El_Phil]

Your right. And the bar and grill has been shunted off to a separate forum. Change. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

I fear change!

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Gandalf Parker]

They are rounding us all up into one corral. You know what that means. Thats never good.

Maybe they have finally recognized our insanity

[NullAshton]

Meh, insanity only means out of touch with reality.

[Gandalf Parker]

Reality? Nice place to visit but I wouldnt want to live there.

[NullAshton]

Much better to live in a sugar-created funland http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Kamog]

Guess that means you'll pick the blue pill.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Given te choice of <font color="blue">blue pill</font> and <font color="red">red pill</font>, I would choose <font color="green">green pill</font>.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Kamog]

Hey, I wonder what it would be like if I were made of anti-matter? Well, I guess I won't survive very long at all if everything around me was made of matter. On the other hand, if everything else were also made of anti-matter, I suppose nobody would notice any difference.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

How do we know *we aren't* the anti-matter?...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

For the antimatter people, we're indeed the antimatter.

If you were made of antimatter, you wouldn't immediately disappear IIRC - only when you touch your realmatter self would you both disappear. Antimatter, like matter, is a specific kind of material. Anti-oxygen atoms wouldn't annihilate nitrogen atoms.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Says you. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

Since no-one has discovered true anti-matter, we're free to speculate. (On the other hand, negatively charged protons are another matter http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif )

[Suicide Junkie]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
For the antimatter people, we're indeed the antimatter.

If you were made of antimatter, you wouldn't immediately disappear IIRC - only when you touch your realmatter self would you both disappear. Antimatter, like matter, is a specific kind of material. Anti-oxygen atoms wouldn't annihilate nitrogen atoms.

Yes they would.
Not 100% of course, but the electrons and positrons, protons and antiprotons would all pair off and annihilate.

You'd be left with an Antiproton, a Positron, and a handful of neutrons. And a whole lot of energy blasting out in the form of photons, pions and other debris.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Too much serious talk here for too long.

TIME FOR SOME IIIINSAAAANIIITYYYYYYY!!!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Guess what! I finally figured out how to throw grenades! You pull out the grenade, like this, then you pull out the pin, like this and then you throw the grenade (Not the pin, that's very important), anBOOM!!!!

* And you should always make sure that you don't hold it for more than three seconds. Medic?

[El_Phil]

Insert your own Monty Python holy hand grenade reference here http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

No, no, no. You're doing it all wrong. Here, give me that.

takes grenade from Narf

See? You have two guys take out the grenade on a pillow, pull out the cross, and then throw it at the bunny. Stand clear.

Oh, and if it doesn't sing "Halleluah" in the air, you probably forgot to pull out the cross.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Silly people, It's just an ordinary grenade.

Like this one right here.

* Evil Grin.

/me starts pulling pins out of grenades and throwing the grenades.

MWUHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Kamog]

Only 3 seconds? I seem to remember in some movie, the good guy and bad guy were tossing the grenade back and forth, back and forth, and finally it exploded when the bad guy caught it, but it seemed longer than three seconds. Or a grenade comes flying into the room through the window, and the people fumble around trying to grab it, and it's rolling around on the floor, and then the hero finally gets it, throws it out the window, and it explodes. That seemed more than three seconds, too.

I guess some grenades take more than 3 seconds to explode.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Those are movie grenades, they rely on pyrotechnicians for detonation, not fuses.

[NullAshton]

Some grenades only blow up if the pin is out, and a jolt hits the grenade, hitting some vital piece out of the grenade.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Like I said.....



Too much serious talk here for too long.

TIME FOR SOME IIIINSAAAANIIITYYYYYYY!!!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Yeah! Now blow up already!

[NullAshton]

Ashton has the grenade blow up in his hand, and he stands there, blinking.

Who took the pin out???

[Ed Kolis]

Boom! Boom, boom boom boom!
Who took the pin out???
Boom! Boom, boom boom boom!

Sorry, that just reminded me of some old rap or hip-hop song... wow, is the genre that established that it's POSSIBLE to say "old rap or hip-hop song"??? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Depends - How long has it been out and what are you comparing it too?

[Ed Kolis]

I dunno, but it's been out a couple years now I think...

[narf poit chez BOOM]

I was refering to the genre.

I mean, compared to classical music, contemporary is barely out of diapers. Some of it is still in diapers.

[Kamog]

I need to exercise more... how embarassing, a little 78-year old guy beat me in arm wrestling.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Was he chinese, with a scanty beard and mustache?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Did he look yellow, lumpy and kind of rock-like? With big, bulging green eyes?

[Kamog]

No, he's a bald Russian dude (or so he claims). However, he sometimes says and does things that make me wonder if he's from another planet. He brings weights to work and lifts them every lunch time.

I've been lazy these last few months and haven't been going to the gym. Maybe I can buy those velcro strap-on weights and wear them on my wrists and ankles all day, I wonder if that will make me stronger.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Or maybe they'll be so heavy that they'll fall right off the velcro and break a couple of your toes. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

riiiiiiip CRASH BANG crrck.....

Just so you'd know how it would sound. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[NullAshton]

Why is my posting slowing down?

[El_Phil]

Realativity?

[kerensky]

I didn't know that Space Empires III was a shareware download.

click here (http://www.zdnet.com.au/downloads/0,39024478,39048322s,00.htm)

[kerensky]

Call me blind. The downloads for both II and III are on the Malfador site..........

[Kamog]

Is there a place where we can download SE I?

[kerensky]

I couldn't find it when I did a search and it doesn't have a section on the Malfador site.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

On the SEII section on the Malfador site it said that they included SEI with SEII when you buy it, so perhaps it's included in the download as well?

[Kamog]

Fishing is hard. Four of us spent several hours fishing but none of us caught anything. It was raining and we got cold and wet.

[El_Phil]

Blimey, you couldn't even catch a cold?

Ba-dom tish!

[NullAshton]

Thank you for using that overused lame joke...

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Unlike all the other lame jokes in this thread?

[Kamog]

It's June already... where does the time go?
The year is almost half over already. /threads/images/Graemlins/Cold.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Well, when you're a kid, you're going up the hill, so naturally time runs slower.

Round about 15-20, you're near the top of the hill, and time naturally runs faster.

After that, it's all downhill, with time running faster and faster...

[NullAshton]

Oh sure, make us depressed. I guess as you get older, you realize that time is meaningless. therefore time SEEMS to move faster for you now that you're freeing yourself from the restriction of time.

[Ed Kolis]

Isn't that good? SE5 should be out once the year is over http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Kamog]

Oh, yeah, that's a good thing. The faster time passes, the sooner we get SEV...

[NullAshton]

SEEMS to pass. Time actually moves at the same speed.

[Kamog]

Time is moving faster and therefore all our clocks are moving faster too. So there are still the same number of minutes in a day and same number of days in a year but they are happening faster.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Or you could just jump in the freezer and have someone put you in the microwave when SEV comes out.....

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

.....right?

[kerensky]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
Or you could just jump in the freezer and have someone put you in the microwave when SEV comes out.....



you can actually do this with scorpions. Deep freeze them in a blo0ck of ice and when you defrost them, they come back to life...

[narf poit chez BOOM]

And snakes as well as most other lizards, I understand.

I can actually verify snakes; saw it myself.

[Kamog]

.... I am so tired today. I'm not in very good shape and this morning I did the Grouse Grind. What's the Grouse Grind? In North Vancouver, in B.C. Canada, we have a mountain called Grouse Mountain. In the winter people go skiing there. There is a gondola that takes people up to the top of the mountain, but there is also a steep trail that goes up the slope. That trail is called the Grouse Grind, and that's what I hiked up this morning. It's not that long of a hike but it's steep. I haven't gone hiking in about 10 years so I am not used to this sort of exercise at all. I need to exercise more and get in shape.

[kerensky]

Has anyone ever played Freelancer??? I love the game....

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I HATE SMILIES!!!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me turns Strategia upside-down.

[Kamog]

I just noticed something about this forum. If there is only one entry on a new page in a thread, the index listing does not show the latest page number in the list. In this thread, Narf's post was the first post on page 109 but the list only showed up to 108. So you can only view his post if you open the thread and then go to page 109. This happens only if you set the display to show the posts in the order of oldest to newest. If you set the preferences to have the order newest post first like we used to have before the forum upgrade, page 1 has the new post of course but it still only shows up to page 108 in the list

[Kamog]

And now it shows page 109 because there is more than one post in it.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Yep. I think it may have been pointed out before, but I'm currently half-zombified and can't remember.

[El_Phil]

Random insane gibberish of the day. Today the sploul. The sploul is the soul of you spleen. The spiritual centre of your lower intestine, it is also the part of the body that gets most distressed by watching graphic surgery while you are eating you tea.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

How much would wood a wouldchuck chuck if a wouldchuck could chuck would?

[douglas]

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked;
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

[El_Phil]

where ever he left it?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

It's sad. Peter and his sister are always competing to get the most money. Always arguing, never agreeing.

Although I still havn't figured out how she sells seashells by the seashore.

[El_Phil]

The same way you sell snow to Eskimos. Low prices and a very big stick.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Oooooh.

Hey, wait a minute. I don't sell snow to eskimos! What are you talking about?!

[Jack Simth]

Funny... I always figured it was her outfit.

[Jack Simth]

narf poit chez BOOM said:
How much would wood a wouldchuck chuck if a wouldchuck could chuck would?


If a woodchuck could chuck wood, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

[i][b]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Wrong. Re-read. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[El_Phil]

Of course it could be a rocky cliff side sea shore that has no beach. There it would be easy to sell seashells as you would be at the sea side with no natural seashells. Do you see?

[Kamog]

You've no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light's light's a slight light,
And tonight's a night that's light.
When a night's light, like tonight's light,
It is really not quite right
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight.

[RCCCL]

Hmmmm, interesting thread, wish I had the time to read every page. Unfortunately I don't have the weeks to spare! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Kamog]

Even on a sandy seashore with a beach, it is not easy to find perfect, beautiful seashells. Here in B.C., there are a lot of seashells lying around on the beach if you go during low tide but most are cracked or worn-out or plain-looking. So you could still sell seashells by the seashore if they are nice ones.

[Jack Simth]

narf poit chez BOOM said:
Wrong. Re-read. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

And here I just thought you had gotten confused and had your fingers twisted by the tounge-twister.

[RCCCL]

Anyone who has ever taken a vacation to some place with a beach nearby can tell you that there are tourist and souvenir shops with shells in them all over the place, even near the beach. So it is very feesible to sell seashells by the seashore. It says by the seashore not on it, it could be a mile away and technically be "by the seashore". http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[RCCCL]

Yup, I am seriously discussing a tounge twister....doesn't get much more dorkish than that!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

All You Base Are Belong To Us!

Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger!

Discussing tungue twisters.

[RCCCL]

Hmmm, you know Narf I do enjoy your name and Avatar http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif. I've always enjoyed Pinky and the Brain, and the whole Anamaniacs series. Wish they'd put it on dvd(hint-hint whose ever out there).

[Gandalf Parker]

I particularly think that Brain fits here. "What we do every day Pinkie..try to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!"

[Kamog]

Betty Boughter bought some butter
But she said the butter's bitter
If I put it in my batter
It will make my batter bitter
But a bit of better butter will make it better than the bitter butter
So she bought a bit of better butter
And put it in her batter
And her batter was not bitter
So t'was Betty Boughter bought a bit of better butter and put it in her
batter and her batter was not bitter.

[Kamog]

The Tessellates destroyed one of my large planets! Fortunately I will be able to rebuild it and recolonize it since I haven't constructed a ringworld or sphereworld in that system... That's if they don't wipe me out first, I saw their fleet of 84 dreadnoughts and baseships wandering around. Tessellates are so tough on high difficulty high bonus... I'm at about turn 200 in this game and the A.I's turns are soooo slow. I'm cleaning up the house, eating meals and reading books during the A.I's turns because I got tired of staring at the black screen. I'll probably quit this game and start a new one soon. I'm not doing so well anyway and it's just getting too slow.

[NullAshton]

NO!!! You stopped posting! This got to page 3 before I did anything!!!

[Kamog]

You saved the day! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif I thought this thread was going to die. I noticed it was slipping behind but I couldn't rescue it because I already had two posts in a row. Remember the rule that we can't have more than two in a row? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Maybe we should allow consecutive posts as long as they are at least a day apart???

[NullAshton]

Nah, we're alive again http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

YYYEEESSS!!!!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

douglas said:
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked;
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

[NullAshton]

I think it was in that chili you just ate.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

I havn't posted since last month!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Look at the attachment, that'll explain why I quoted that.

[NullAshton]

Meh, too much trouble to open an attachment.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Oh, you're just too lazy.

[RCCCL]

*looks at the fact that we're sitting at our computer talking* Yup, I'd say laziness has something to do with it!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Kamog]

Happy Canada Day! /threads/images/Graemlins/Flag_Canada.gif

[Suicide Junkie]

Thoom...BANG! FWIZZzzzzz! Bfooom!

Yay for fireworks!

[RCCCL]

At 1 am!!! I feel sorry for your neighbors!

[NullAshton]

Me and my church pitched in for a whole bunch of fireworks. Three whole boxes full!

[NullAshton]

I think the race to insanity is dying : (

[El_Phil]

Monkeys! Wearing elaborate fezesesese.

[Kamog]

What's fezesesese? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/confused.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/confused.gif

[NullAshton]

I think it's the same as brezezeze

[El_Phil]

Not its when you don't know when to stop spelling the plural of 'fez'.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Ten crazy monkeys and a cow."

[NullAshton]

Yeah, you're the cow.

[RCCCL]

Ow, that was harsh Null.


Pst, Strategia, he called you a cow!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gifInstigates http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gif

[NullAshton]

Hey, he was asking for us. We're the crazy monkeys, so someone has to be the cow. That cow is Strategia http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Kamog]

I might have mad cow disease! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/stupid.gif

[Jack Simth]

In the race?

[Kamog]

Right now I'm hemming in my pant legs because they're too long. For some reason it's difficult to find pants which are exactly my size so I often end up buying something that's a little too long or too wide. If it's a little too wide I use a belt so that the pants stay up. When it's too long I have to shorten them. I could go to the local aLterations shop but that's expensive so I do it myself by folding in the ends and sewing it. Normally I don't mind doing it but today it's just getting tedious. Last month I bought two pair of pants, both too big for me and I didn't wear them because I don't feel like adjusting the pant legs, but now I've procrastinated enough. When I was a kid my mom used to do this for me but she's not around to do that for me anymore. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

[Jack Simth]

And We Have Hemming! Do we have Hawing? Who's got the Hawing? We have to have both to properly procrastinate.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Sorry to hear about your mom.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Presenting: The Dalek Song!

http://artistic-insanity.net/song/daleksong.html

[NullAshton]

I'd rather not work. Funner to hit people over the head with a rubber mallet : )

[Kamog]

I'd rather not work too. One day when I become an independently-wealthy multimillionaire, I'll just play SE and other games all day and not work.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

And then your mind turns to mush.

[RCCCL]

Yeah but it'll ne fun......

[El_Phil]

Ha! I've found the loophole: If your mind is already mush then you get off scot free!

[RCCCL]

Hmmmmm, the misspelling of 'be' into 'ne' was inadvertent, but funny,no?

[Jack Simth]

Nope.
Not funny at all.
This is not me laughing.
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/lachen/laughing-smiley-014.gif

By the way, what day is today?

[NullAshton]

Saturday.

[RCCCL]

Jack Simth said:
Nope.
Not funny at all.
This is not me laughing.
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/lachen/laughing-smiley-014.gif



Ouch, that cut straight to the bone. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[kerensky]

Does anyone know if you can take screenshots in-game? If so, what is the shortcut key?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ingame I don't know and I don't think there is, but there's always your buddy the PrintScrn button, eh? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[kerensky]

When you hit printscreen, where does the image go? I can't seem to find it.

[Jack Simth]

The clipboard. You need to find some other graphical program to actually capture it - paint will do - and paste it in (usually with Ctrl-V)

[El_Phil]

Maybe it's just me, but I feel that discussion about print screen keys just don't belong in a thread about racing to insanity.

By the way does anyone know who's leading the race at the moment?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

The guy at the back, of course.

[El_Phil]

Wasn't he disqualified for being insane before the race started?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Exactly!

Want a penguin?

[El_Phil]

Only if its mint flavoured. I can't stand the tomato and horeradish flavoured ones.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Cool, your penguin should arrive two minutes before now.

..And if the temporal police show up, you didn't know anything about it behindhand, ok?

[kerensky]

This is why I wanted to know how to take a screenie....

My uber insane income.

[El_Phil]

Arrrgh teh bitmap of vastness. And I have broadband, I pity those without.

Word to the wise: 2Meg+ screenshots are a bad thing.


Darn temporal police, I would have got away with it if they hadn't arrested me before I even thought of doing the crime.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

My God..... Is that PBW or single-player?

[RCCCL]

I don't want to hear any more talk of penguins on this board!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif

[Makinus]

RCCCL said:
I don't want to hear any more talk of penguins on this board!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif



Ok, so lets talk about iguanas! Anyone want some?

[RCCCL]

Iguana, now there some quality animal....you got them in bulk?

[El_Phil]

I've got a job lot of Komodo Dragons going cheap. A quick conversion, shortening legs, a respray and making good all in, only £500 each.

Or 10 for Four Grand if you'll pick 'em up yourself.

[kerensky]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
My God..... Is that PBW or single-player?



It's a single player game that is down to only me and the Kaelons. It kinda helps to have 27 sphere worlds to make that much income.

[RCCCL]

I want to return my parrot!

[El_Phil]

I'm sorry sold as seen. I could do you a part exchange on a sperm whale, but even then I'm cutting my own throat.

[RCCCL]

It's a dead parrot! It has ceased to be, it is no more, it has gone to swim with the fishes, IT IS AN EX-PARROT!!!!

[El_Phil]

It's pining for the Fjords. I could do you a nice minature Fjord to put in the cage with it, it's a very sensitive bird the Norwegian Blue.

If all else fails try renaming yourself 'Sven'. That always helps relieve their pining by remining them of Norway.

[RCCCL]

Wow, I thought I was bad. You've got the whole bloody series memorized, don't you?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

What series?

This is what you call a one-track mind: http://www.drunkduck.com/Culture_Shock/

[RCCCL]

Monty Pythons' Flying Circus!!!!!

Looks like my desktop...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

:edit:
No it doesn't, not really, please don't call the authorities.

*begins deleting things*

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Ah. Never saw it.

[RCCCL]

WHAT!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif!!!


Too bad, you don't know what your missing.

[NullAshton]

You people kill this thread too often http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[NullAshton]

On a side note, look at my cool cool avatar http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[El_Phil]

A big blank black box? Ohhh yes very nifty...

Incoming Penguins! Duck!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

* The duck, hearing it's name being called, quickly disposses(sp?) of the evil penguins.

[El_Phil]

That's a relief. Damned sage and onion flavoured temporal penguins!

[NullAshton]

See, my avatar is so SIMPLE, yet complex... ooo...

[El_Phil]

Complex you say. So it's one of those magic eye things? You keep staring at it until you see a shape.

El Phil Stares intently at the square

My God it's full of stars! No sorry, my mistake. It's actually a Panda.

[Kamog]

OK, it really is a solid black square. I thought maybe there was some hidden image or something, but there isn't.

[El_Phil]

Ahhh but have you seen the Fnord? If not you should take some Solent Green.

El Phil - Obscure(ish) sci-fi references since quite recently.

[NullAshton]

Meh, don't have the skills to put into it a hidden image. But you can put your own hidden image in it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[El_Phil]

You should have pretended ther was a hidden image in there. Because who's to know you didn't?

Pandas! In all their wood eating strangeness.

[NullAshton]

Nah, secretly, there's a black hole hidden in there. Ooo.

[El_Phil]

Wait a minute....

60 seconds later

Carry on.

[NullAshton]

There needs to be a show called 60 seconds. Shortest show ever, not counting commercials. It can be about... Penguins!

[El_Phil]

Hmmm penguins...

Scientific experiments designed to prove that penguins will stare at Harriers flying over their heads and fall over backwards.

[Jack Simth]

Conterthesis: the penguins will stare away from Harriers swimming under their feet and stand up rightwards.

[El_Phil]

Damned anti-penguins. Worse than the temporal police in my opinion.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Penguins are evil! http://www.fragilegravity.com/core.php

[Ed Kolis]

SQUIIIIIIRREL! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif
http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html

[Jack Simth]

Badgers! (http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/)

[kerensky]

Jack Simth said:
Badgers! (http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/)



OK.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/confused.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

That's what happens if the badgers eat too much mushrooms.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

No, I think that's what happens when a human eats to many mushrooms, of a certain sort.

[Jack Simth]

Undead Badgers! (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/badgers2/)

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Words simply cannot describe this..... (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/special+edition/)

[El_Phil]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
Words simply cannot describe this..... (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/special+edition/)



I can think of many, many words to describe that. None of them are polite however.

[Kamog]

Some people have a lot of free time! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif

[Jack Simth]

El_Phil said:

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
Words simply cannot describe this..... (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/special+edition/)



I can think of many, many words to describe that. None of them are polite however.

I can think of some reasonably polite words:

A badger-oriented twist to a classic scene from a cinematic presentation of a well-selling book.

[El_Phil]

True that is a literal description. A critical description however would be harder.

Lord of the Badgers? A specialist film to be true, but perhaps a critical success!

[Jack Simth]

El_Phil said:
True that is a literal description. A critical description however would be harder.

Lord of the Badgers? A specialist film to be true, but perhaps a critical success!

Now, now, Film is an improvised weapon, and can only crit on a natural 20 (unless it is a Keen Film, or you have Improved Critical (Film), of course) and even then you need to make the confirming attack roll.

[NullAshton]

Just use attacks of oppertunity. Mmmm, lighting fast attacks, all in one turn.

[douglas]

For a truly horrendous number of attacks per turn, try a high level thri-kreen with all the multiattack feats. 4 attacks with each of 4 weapons (they have 4 arms) = 16 attacks in one round, not including any AoO's he might get. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif That should result in a critical hit at least once every one or two rounds. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gif

[NullAshton]

Mmm... Sneak attacks are funner : ) Free damage on first round, then flank for even MORE damage.

[Jack Simth]

Doesn't work on everything, though. Constructs are fun!

[Kamog]

I noticed something strange today: my clothes are getting dirty all by themselves, even though I'm not wearing them. I have some white shirts that I left hanging in my closet, that I haven't worn for many months. They were clean when I put them in there. Today I look and they're dirty!

[NullAshton]

It's called collecting dust. It's normal, you still have a bit of your sanity yet. By the way, you better hurry up with the posting, our double over on the keenspot fourms are catching up. They already passed the 1,000 mark!

[El_Phil]

[insert banal remark about quality over quantity here]