The Race to Insanity and Beyond!

[Jack Simth]

Which in turn depends on how bad their cold is. And for penguins, well, it doesn't get much colder than Antarctica.... on Earth, anyway.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:

Nodachi said:

Alneyan said:

Nodachi said:

Atrocities said:

Nodachi said:

Alneyan said:

Nodachi said:

Atrocities said:

Alneyan said:

Alneyan said:

Atrocities said:

douglas said:

douglas said:

Jack Simth said:

narf point chez BOOM said:

Jack Simth said:

Atrocities said:

Jack Simth said:

Will said:

narf poit chez BOOM said:

RudyHuxtable said:

kerensky said:

douglas said:

narf said:

He said:
Hey, does anyone around here like turn based space strategy games? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif


Hate them!


So why are you posting on a forum dedicated to one?



I was just wondering the same thing. Space Empires IS a turn based space strategy game for all of you who have never made the conection.



Hey Kerensky. Space Empires is most certainly NOT a turn based space strategy game. Get a clue, man. It's turn based space strategy game. Sheesh. The nerve of some people.


Hey, my head feels pretty spaced right now. Like it's spinning. Weee, lack of slepp is funn!


Now THAT is what I call a lot of quotes.


How is that a lot of quotes?


IMPRESSIVE.


How so? It isn't even giving me side-scroll bars.


How so? Most people use a needle and thread.


Funny, most people who I know sew use a sewing machine.


Hmm, how narrow can the inner quote box get?


Looks like excessively nested quotes can mess up formatting just like large pictures. The minimum width of a quote box appears to be dictated by the longest word in it, "Nodachi" in this case.



Guys, what is the longest word in the english language? PNEUMONO­ULTRA­MICRO­SCOPIC­SILICO­VOLCANO­CO - I think it is a lung desease or something. Not really



Floccinaucinihilipilification! That's all I have to say on this matter. That word is one of the longest words not related to science, though it doesn't have much of a meaning (it basically repeats the same thing a couple of times).



And there is always antidisestablishmentarianism, which can actually mean something (besides making the forum suffer).



Right. However, if we were to track back into time to the beginings of the English language, the universally spoken english language as we all know, then I think we would find that our barbaric forefathers first spoken word must have been "NO." I mean it was the first word I learned.



It is extremely disconcerting to see my name getting contorted like that! So of course I'll add to it! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif



I believe one of the Old English words for no was "Na" (as far as I know, the vowel was not really the same as our current "a", but I am no Old English scholar), though this word did not quite have the same meaning as our no.

That was just a pretence to add to the thread though, and see what happens if we shorten Nodachi to "he"... Will the middle box be much shorter? Will it break the forum at last? Will John fall in love with Mary?



Now "turn-based" is the limiting factor. And yes, John will fall in love with Mary but won't stop seeing Sue.


Pain is tempory, posts are forever.



Someone please tell me, why are we trying to break the forum?



Because we have a mile-wide mean streak? And the forum is doing just fine, though 1600X1200 is no longer enough to avoid the side-scroll bars. Anyone has a higher resolution to check it out? (Now trying with turn based instead of turn-based)



Ah, we're stress testing the forum!



R u glad I brought this back from teh dead? No? Guessed so. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif



OK, now you may bash me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[El_Phil]

From "Good reasons to ban people from forums for being a goit." Case #1 : That last post.

Starat that post, like a retarded midget, wasn't big or clever.

[NullAshton]

Should we start up the fourm spamming again?

[Ragnarok]

NullAshton said:
Should we start up the fourm spamming again?



No, you should not. Spamming a forum such as you have done is nothing but a childish game. I apologize if you take offense to that, but it is the truth. The only forums I see that happening on are the ones that are filled with 10-15 year olds who think having a high post count means they are elite forum members. Seriously, time to move on from spamming the boards and actually contribute to the community.

[NullAshton]

Could you at least not have long posts like that again so near to the quote spam? This is messing up my sliders.

[kerensky]

I really don't consider this thread spamming as there is a large quantity of humor in it.

[kerensky]

This thread is actually an asset to mankind at large because scientists have found links between humor, laughter and all of that, and living long lives...

[NullAshton]

Don't forget the padding wagon!

[NullAshton]

I vote we should get more humor on here. Slapstick jokes against Strategia till he stops quoting that post seems good.

[El_Phil]

Kerensky you really shouldn't encourage Strat by saying this thread contains humour. He'll just do more of it and he's bad enough without encouragement, I dread to think what he'll do with someone egging him on.

So anyway if you have to be attacked by one member of the bear family, which would you choose?

I think Polar myself, it'll stand out a treat round here and be confused by the lack of snow. This might give me more of a chance.

[NullAshton]

WOOHOO no more uber post. For the member of the bear family, I'd choose the racoon. Small, and can't maul me with one hit.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Crippled, blind in both eyes, without a sense of smell, declawed and senile.

[Kamog]

A cute baby koala bear.

[Jack Simth]

A very small one that was going to drop dead in 1 millisecond?

[kerensky]

I thought that koalas weren't bears...

[El_Phil]

Koalas aren't bears, they're marsupials.

Are racoons bears? If so I claim the Red Panda, like all pandas irredemably stupid (it only eats bamboo) and very lazy (because they only eat bamboo, which has no nutritional value).

[Kamog]

Koala bears aren't bears? I guess my elementary school teacher taught me wrong when she called them koala bears. Just like all sorts of other wrong things I learned in school.

[Jack Simth]

Well, they are named Koala Bears, but they aren't classified as bears. Crazy scientists.... perhaps we should invite them here!

[Kamog]

OK, I so guess Koala bears are out.

I choose Paddington Bear. Or maybe Winnie-the-Pooh, I guess he's a bear, right? I'm not sure so I'll stay with good old Paddington.

http://www.shrapnelcommunity.com/threads/uploads/384666-paddington4.jpg

[Ragnarok]

El_Phil said:
Koalas aren't bears, they're marsupials.




Frankenstein never scared me...

Marsupials do...

Cause they're fast!

--
Anyone know what that is referrencing? I imagine a lot of you do.

[NullAshton]

Racoons are part of the bear family, so yes, it's a bear.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Ragnarok said:

El_Phil said:
Koalas aren't bears, they're marsupials.




Frankenstein never scared me...

Marsupials do...

Cause they're fast!

--
Anyone know what that is referrencing? I imagine a lot of you do.


I don't.

[El_Phil]

Ragnarok said:
Frankenstein never scared me...




Insert obligatory pedantry about monster/creation confusion.

Speaking of monsters and such like, has anyone else seen Gods and Monsters? Because damn me that was a surprising film. Brendon Frazer can act and isn't a total arse. Shocking!

[Jack Simth]

El_Phil said:Insert obligatory pedantry about monster/creation confusion.


Gladly.

The original Doctor Frankenstein NEVER NAMED HIS MONSTER!

[El_Phil]

Thank you Jack. Sterling work there.

But was he a Baron or not? And if so is he Baron Dr Frankenstein, Dr Baron Frankenstein or any other variation. Was he in fact even a real Doctor? Frankly unless he went on a course with a really lax ethics section I would be surprised.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

...I thought you were referencing a specific movie or book quote.

Personally, I like Fred Saberhagens' twist on Frankensteins' 'Monster'.

[Jack Simth]

El_Phil said:
Thank you Jack. Sterling work there.


A bit much tarnish, though; could use more polish.

[kerensky]

Hey guys, did any one notice that we passed 2000 posts??

[Ragnarok]

narf poit chez BOOM said:

I don't.


Well then, here you go! (http://thefuntimesguide.com/audio/christopher_walkin_kevin_pollak.mp3)

It is a clip from the Bob and Tom radio show. It is hilarious. Enjoy!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Post Cnunt 2k"?

Kerensky, you really need to pay more attention to detail when posting insanity.....

[kerensky]

.gninrom eht ni ylrae niarb eht ot gnisufnoc tib a si sdrawkcab gnipyt ,yrroS
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[NullAshton]

What is insane? What is reality? What if reality isn't reality, so being in reality would mean being insane, meaning that you're out of touch with reality?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Ragnarok said:

narf poit chez BOOM said:

I don't.


Well then, here you go! (http://thefuntimesguide.com/audio/christopher_walkin_kevin_pollak.mp3)

It is a clip from the Bob and Tom radio show. It is hilarious. Enjoy!


Thanks.

[kerensky]

NullAshton said:
What is insane? What is reality? What if reality isn't reality, so being in reality would mean being insane, meaning that you're out of touch with reality?



Aaaghhhh my head!!!!!

Anyways, to add to the insanity hceck out the attached picture. The pink dots are my ships. Also take a look at the year marker at the top of the screen.

[kerensky]

I know that the empire in the picture says Icaran, but it is in no way related to the Icaras in Starhawks story. My Icarans are just an old .emp file that starhawk had sent me. From now on let call mine Qwevlans. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Aww, man. You should've given us a screenie of Tactical Combat with that fleet http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[kerensky]

I thought of that but only after i had hit the button. There is always next time though....

Oh andd btw that was only about one sixth of my entire naval forces!

[Kamog]

Year 2540.2! I don't think I've ever played a game long enough to get that far.

1 battleship and 541 dreadnoughts against 2 baseships, the Kaelons are saying, "today is a good day to die." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif

[El_Phil]

Kamog said:
Year 2540.2! I don't think I've ever played a game long enough to get that far.

1 battleship and 541 dreadnoughts against 2 baseships, the Kaelons are saying, "today is a good day to die." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif



That or "Time to unleash the new plot device cannon."

Yes the plot device cannon, capable of killing enemy ships by the thousand in a single shot. Truly a marvel of space combat. To aquire yours talk to the writers of Voyager, the people who gave you the noncy Borg.

[NullAshton]

That ablative armor and those torpedo bays are awsome.

[kerensky]

THe only reason its all of my ships against just two is because thats a warp point defense fleet. The ai hasn't sent any really large fleets through lately and seems to be content with just sending minesweepers.

[Kamog]

I never understood what "transphasic" or "metaphasic" mean. Those starfleet scientists are sure good at controlling the phase of things and creating all sorts of useful effects!

[El_Phil]

From the sci-fi dictionary-o-doom
"Transphasic" (lit): I never did had any form of scientific education and so make this rubbish up. Can also mean 'Will never be seen in any episode after this, dspite it's obvious advantage over standard kit.'

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Phil, that or something in that vein appears in virtually all entries in that dictionary, so that doesn't count. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[El_Phil]

Just because many of the words have the same defenition doesn't invalidate the dictionary. Besides there are other defenitions
Heisenburgs Uncertainty Principal - Almost never applies in sci-fi.

Tachyon - I know this is a really fast particle, I just know nothing else about it. Typically used for communications.

Quantum - A cool sounding word that implies vast improvements that are never explained eg "Quantum torpedos". Very few of the devices will actually utilise either quantum mechanics or involve photons, thus its use is a mystery.

[NullAshton]

Quantum torpedos do kinda use quantum mechanics, if quantum mechanics involve 11 dimensions.

[El_Phil]

Quantum mechanics is just the mechanics of very small things (atoms, nuclei, etc) where things get strange and different from classical mechanics/physics.

[Jack Simth]

Well... once you get into quantum mechanics, things get really strange.

They pretty much throw out gravity.

Why? Well, it doesn't play nice with the other fundamental forces at that level. Keeps causing all these nice nifty equations that seem to work to spit out nonsense - generally based around non-conservation of energy (hence, nonsense) - and that, for some odd reasons, disturbs those not already disturbed.

String theory doesn't have that "problem" - it can deal with gravity that close up just fine - but there's a catch: nobody has yet been able to devise an experiment that anyone thinks might be possible in anything remotely resembling a reasonable timeframe that could locate any observational differences between the two at the level QM deals with....

[Kamog]

Yeah, how come the Federation doesn't take advantage of all those super technologies the Enterprise comes across that they utilize to get out of a critical situation in one episode, but for some reason it's forgotten as soon as the episode is over? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

...Well, go check out my Revised Edition Star Trek thread. Somebody needs to revive it.

http://www.shrapnelcommunity.com/threads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB23&Number=382000

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Kamog said:
Yeah, how come the Federation doesn't take advantage of all those super technologies the Enterprise comes across that they utilize to get out of a critical situation in one episode, but for some reason it's forgotten as soon as the episode is over? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif



The Federation is renowned for the use of its secret weapon..... the "Plot Device". It involves such things as using uberpowerful technologies capable of doing stuff their scientists can only dream about, then throwing them out the window as the Plot Device only creates disposable technologies that expire after having been used once.

[kerensky]

This is for all of you who wanted to see my massive warp pint defense fleet in teh tactical view. Keep in mind that the ships that you see are standard dreadnaught sized ships which are now considered small in my game...

[Jack Simth]

Just don't let them run up against any of the Enterprises! (or Voyager, or that space station....), as they are armed with the dreaded and most fearsome Plot Device, guarded by a strong shield dubbed "Main Character".

Ignore the redshirts; they're there as a distraction.

Wait... is that Scotty....?

Uh oh.

/threads/images/Graemlins/PointRight.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/Lightning.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/Injured.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/Lightning.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/skull.gif

[kerensky]

Ahhh fear the dreaded plot device!!!

But really if tehre is a weapon that enables a single ship to destroy 550 dreadnaughts on one side of a warp point and then turn around and destroy another 550 dreadnaughts, three 15,000kt defense bases, and various auxiliary bases on teh other side of the warp point, I would gladly surrender my entire empire to them. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Jack Simth]

You mean like a stealth ship with a way to build a stealthed star destroyer? Make a star destroyer, leave it in the first system with orders to kill the star after the originating ship leaves, hop into the next, repeat.

[Kamog]

Yay, tomorrow is a holiday, Thanksgiving! (In Canada) /threads/images/Graemlins/Flag_Canada.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Yep. We're going to east turkey, and then sit around being thankfull.

"We just had turkey and now everyones' sitting around being thankfull" - Dennis the Menace. Might not be exact.

[Jack Simth]

You're going all the way to East Turkey? That won't affect the game on Saturday, will it?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

'Math good! Four-legs bad! East for legs!' - Bad spelling and a weird topic on #spaceempires.

[Kamog]

I'm learning to play the piano! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/smile.gif
http://www.shrapnelcommunity.com/threads/uploads/387173-music.JPG

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Yaay for Kamog!

So...Got anything we can listen to?

[Jack Simth]

narf poit chez BOOM said:
We're hunting wabbits

But it's duck season!

[kerensky]

Wabbit season!

[Kamog]

Silly Wabbit, Trix are for kids!

[Jack Simth]

A jewish priest was walking up a hill.
An odd creature came tumbling down, and landed at the priest's feet.
Jewish Priest: What are you?
Creature: A trid.
Jewish Priest: And why did you come tumbling down the hill?
Trid: Giant kicked me.
The jewish priest, understandably upset at such abuse, came and asked the giant why.
Giant: Silly rabbi, kicks are for trids.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Rotten tomato.

[Atrocities]

Why rotten tomato?

[El_Phil]

To discourage that sort of joke. On which note I approve of that thrown tomat. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

It's how I rate bad jokes. Ordinary bad jokes only rate a normal tomato.

[kerensky]

Here Narf have some rotten kumquats. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

...I'm not sure exactly what a kumquat is, aside from 'vegetable'.

[kerensky]

The kumquat tree is slow-growing, shrubby, compact, 8 to 15 ft (2.4-4.5 m) tall, the branches light-green and angled when young, thornless or with a few spines. The apparently simple leaves are alternate, lanceolate, 1 1/4 to 3 3/8 in (3.25-8.6 cm) long, finely toothed from the apex to the middle, dark-green, glossy above, lighter beneath. Sweetly fragrant, 5-parted, white flowers are borne singly or 1 to 4 together in the leaf axils. The fruit is oval-oblong or round, 5/8 to 1 1/2 in (1.6-4 cm) wide; peel is golden-yellow to reddish-orange, with large, conspicuous oil glands, fleshy, thick, tightly clinging, edible, the outer layer spicy, the inner layer sweet; the pulp is scant, in 3 to 6 segments, not very juicy, acid to subacid; contains small, pointed seeds or sometimes none; they are green within.

[Jack Simth]

Hmm... Attack of the Killer Kumquat's? Just doesn't have the same ring as Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (http://www.killertomatoes.com/)

[El_Phil]

What does? Kumquats do however gain points for the use of 'Q' a much underused letter.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Ah, thanks.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Sounds to me like an EEE falling down from great height.

kum-QUAT!

[Jack Simth]

Ah, that's how we get squash....

[kerensky]

EEE Squash. Get it while it's hot and still making neural connections!

[kerensky]

This thread is dying!!! Someone quick, get an AED over here and revive it!

[El_Phil]

Get me an inflatable goat, a large knife, three spoons and a mongoose. Stat! Let's just hope we're not too late.

[inigma]

deflate, deflate... er defib, defib!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Warning: If you are a geek, the following poem may cause intense mental and emotional discomfort. You have been warned:

Subject: A poem based on E.A.Poe's The Raven.
Author: Stan Slaughter
Date: 14 Oct 2005 03:49 PM
Originally Posted: 14 Oct 2005 04:55 PM
A poem based on E.A.Poe's The Raven.

Abort, Retry, Ignore?
By Anonymous

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer
I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
Only this and nothing more.

Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing.
Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
>From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard.
I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore.
Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night.
A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
What demonic nether world is wrought where lost data will be stored,
Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
You will be one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"


Stan Slaughter
http://www.StanSight.com/
"Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway."

[Jack Simth]

Bah! How often do floppies actually see use nowadays?

Besides - that's on oldie - Abort, Retry, Ignore? Was mostly the DOS version - it now only rarely comes up with legacy (or legacy portions of...) drivers on unattended servers. We now have the Blue Screen of Death, you see....

[kerensky]

That was a good one Narf.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Not mine, though. Got it off the Baen humor forum.

But I'll take the credit for recognizing good poetry when I see it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Methinks Jack just doesn't recognize quality when he sees it. Shame, really.

[Jack Simth]

Well, that's what happens when I don't write any ranks in Appraise into my character sheet....

[Kamog]

What is that green glowing light I see between the steps of an escalator? What is down there?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Kryptonite!

It's to keep general zod from stealing the secrets of the escalator!

[Jack Simth]

Nah, it's how they run the things. With a very clever arrangement of gears and belts, an escalator actually gives off free energy.

Pity the only arrangement of gears and belts that gives off free energy always ends up being an escalator....

That, or it's a particular breed of warning/diagnostic light.

[El_Phil]

Narf! You've ruined a secret kept for genarations. Now every supervillian worth his salt will built his lair in shopping centres to be safe from Superman!

I hope you can live with the consequences when were all ruled by an evil supervilian overlord. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Nah. See, the escalator blocks the rays. It's only if someone tries to steal it will the kryptonite be exposed.

[Kamog]

That's a good idea.. I'm planning to steal an escalator from the local shopping center. Don't tell anyone! I'm not a Kryptonian so the kryptonite should be harmless to me. Now, I just need to convince all my friends to break into the mall with me tomorrow night and help me carry the escalator out of the building and take it home. It's way too big for me to move it by myself. I'm going to replace my stairs at home with the escalator and be the only one in the neighborhood to have a perpetual motion machine! I hope we don't get caught on the way home while we're lugging the escalator down the street.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Why don't you just use a space/time folding gizmo to take the thing home without even having to move it? That way you can keep the friends out of it as well, and they won't know what's going on until it's too late.

By the way, why are we still spelling the stcejbus egassem backwards?

[kerensky]

You know, with a space/time pocket folder gizmo, you could walk into the mall during open hours, zap teh escalator out and replace it with a set of regular stairs before anyone ever noticed.

Now if only I could get my hands on one of those.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif:)

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

You can.

Just engrave your wish, coupled with some wise words and advice, in a block of stone, bring that stone into stable orbit with some stellar body or other (comets not recommended) and step outside to find a delegation of the future which has traveled to the past to fulfil the wish of the Great Prophet. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[kerensky]

Hmmm, now if only I could get my hands on another block of Duraplast plating and some ore of those military grade rockets....

Oh, yeah, and some penguins.......................................

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Penguins? (http://www.fragilegravity.com/core.php)

[TerranC]

Tee-he-he.

[TerranC]

Woo-hoo-hoo

[Jack Simth]

Wha?-Wha?-Wha?

[TerranC]

Lol-lol-lol

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

What-the-F...?

[kerensky]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[NullAshton]

?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

<Insert something funny here>

[kerensky]

narf poit chez BOOM said:
<Insert something funny here>



{Something Funny}

/threads/images/Graemlins/icon39.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/icon39.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/icon39.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/icon39.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/icon39.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/icon39.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/icon39.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me gives Kerensky a medal.

[kerensky]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/icon44.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/Cheese.gif

[kerensky]

You gotta love graemlins! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

:desufnoc: ?sdrawkcab stcejbus ruo gnipyt llits ew era yhW

[narf poit chez BOOM]

kerensky said:
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/icon44.gif /threads/images/Graemlins/Cheese.gif


Hey, I didn't say it was a very good medal... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Jack Simth]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
:desufnoc: ?sdrawkcab stcejbus ruo gnipyt llits ew era yhW


.ta si esnesnon eht erehw wonk elpoep stel dna ,sdaerht rehto morf scipot modnar gnibbarg naht relpmis s'ti esuaceB

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

!kcaJ sknahT .dnatsredn I woN (: .ees I ,hO

[NullAshton]

I'll just talk backwards again. Meh.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

(; .nothsA oot ti <i\>od<i> yllautca ot evah ll'uoy nehT

(.ffets dna nailatI lla gniog morf ecnetnes fo trap tsrif tneverp ot yaw taht kool stekcarb scilati edam :etoN)

[TerranC]

Stop typing stuff backwards - makes my head hurt.

[Jack Simth]

Ok, I'll give: How bad?

[Kamog]

Happy Halloween! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

BOO!

/me turns into a zombie-mouse.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/you already were a zombie-mouse.

"Hello and welcome to the forums."

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me eats Strategias' brains.

[Jack Simth]

/me Casts Command Undead (http://srd.pbemnexus.com/spellsC.html#command-undead) on the Zombie (http://srd.pbemnexus.com/monstersTtoZ.html#zombie)-mouse, and orders it to stand still, not eating brains, just telling mindless (http://srd.pbemnexus.com/monsterTypes.html#nonabilities) jokes.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me opens Jack Simths' joke book and begins...

[Jack Simth]

... and everyone runs screaming from the unfathomably awful contents therin.

[TerranC]

YEEEEEEEEEARGH

[kerensky]

Stop the reading!!! Stop the reading!!!

/me runs in circles with hands over ears/

[Jack Simth]

Halloween over, a simple True Ressurection gets applied to the zombie-mouse, making Narf an invalid target for the Command.....

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

narf poit chez BOOM said:
/me eats Strategias' brains.



What brains?

Nice pic TC!

[TerranC]

Nice pic TC!



What pic?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me stops reading.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

TerranC said:

Nice pic TC!



What pic?



Errrr wtf happened to that 4wsum battle scene?

[Jack Simth]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:

TerranC said:

Nice pic TC!



What pic?



Errrr wtf happened to that 4wsum battle scene?


Well, that's what happens when the battle's over; you can't see it anymore.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

'Course you can. The aftermath, at least. The wreckage, the torn metal, the ships blown wide open, the horrified-looking bodies floating through space.....

[Jack Simth]

Ah, but that's not the battle; it's what's left. Sort of like you can't see the explosion anymore after the bomb has gone off .... well, barring assorted recording devices, temporal windows, and the like ... but they just don't compare....

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me drops a water balloon.

[NullAshton]

NullAshton gets a supersoaker, and blasts you all back into this thread.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me gets a garden hose and soaks Ashton.

[AdmiralMartin]

/me takes CPS 2000 and blasts narf and null

[NullAshton]

Ashton takes out a waterdrill, and cuts Narf and Martin in half.

[AdmiralMartin]

<font color="purple">* AdmiralMartin avoided it because he was in space and the waterdrill didn't work well in vacume.....</font>

[NullAshton]

It's vacuum-sealed.

[AdmiralMartin]

<font color="purple">* AdmiralMartin had broken the seal </font>

[NullAshton]

Aw. And I paid three chickens and a duck for that vacuum seal.

[AgentZero]

Really? There's a guy round the corner who'll give you four vacuum seals in return for a goat. That's where I got mine.

Agent Zero merrily sprays everyone in space with his waterdrill.

Honestly, everyone should have one of these.

[kerensky]

/me modifies AP gun to shoot water/

Eat This!

/ me soakes everyone else in range/

[NullAshton]

FEAR THE GIANT SPONGE OF DOOM!

[kerensky]

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me whaps Ashton with the sponge.

[NullAshton]

Ow.

FEAR THE GIANT WET SPONGE OF DOOM!

[kerensky]

&lt;INITIALIZE GWSOD SOUND FILE....&gt;

SQUISH............SPLOOSH..............SQUISH
SPLUSH............THWACK...............OUCH!

&lt;END SOUND FILE&gt;

(GSWOD = Giant Wet Sponge OF Doom)

[kerensky]

SO i'm kinda bored right now. I'm sitting here in my colleges auditorium because I showed up a hlaf hour early for a history test. Fortunately, the school Wi-Fi, which is only supposed to be in the student lounge and library, is accesable throughout the whole building.

[Jack Simth]

Ah, yes; the joys of wood and plaster walls, rather than grounded metal conductors....

[kerensky]

Actually the building is constructed mainly of cinder blocks and concrete, which is wierd because the signal should not be able to go that far in this kind of building.

[Jack Simth]

Hmm... that makes it curiouser.....

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Any rabbits with watches?

[Jack Simth]

Well, not anymore; there was one, but it lured a young girl down a hole.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me drops a pair of scissors with anti-gravity lift and homing device down the hole.

You'd be amazed how often those come in handy.

[Jack Simth]

How do you lift and home anti-gravity?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Words hard. Thoughts sleepy. Squish annoying card.

[kerensky]

Card squished. Mind tired. Must go back to school.

[Jack Simth]

Poor little card. All squished.

Hmm....

We can rebuild him.

We have the technology....

[kerensky]

/Me pulls multi-spectral, giga-pixelated, inter-dimensional card rebuilder out of garage ands tarts it up...../

[Kamog]

Hey, I remember that intro from the Six Million Dollar Man! Ah, I watched that show when I was a kid. That was a long time ago.

[El_Phil]

So spoons? Are you in favour or against?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Depends. They don't work too well with noodles.

[El_Phil]

That depends on the size of the noodles or indeed the size of the spoon.

[kerensky]

Unless of course you are having lasagna noodles.

[Jack Simth]

Shush! Don't want to attract that hungry orange and black cat!

[El_Phil]

Well in that case you may want the unholy union of fork and spoon, the spork!

[Jack Simth]

Bah! Too Evil! Bring on the all-consuming cat!

Just don't tell anyone about the Foon....

[Jack Simth]

Oh, wait - nevermind.

[NullAshton]

IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!

[El_Phil]

Sneaking along the borders of thread necromancy here boys.

If this wasn't a famous thread you could be in serious trouble. Hell you still might be, you know what the anti-necromancy police are like....

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Oh, I don't wish I was an oscar-meyer weiner...

* Makes a lot more sense that way.

[Jack Simth]

Oh, the anti-necromancy police are still locked in eternal combat with the necromancy police. Don't worry, they're plenty distracted.


Oh, and Narf: You do realize there was a second verse to the song from the commercial, right? Started out something like "I'm glad I'm not an oscar-meyer weiner..."

[Kamog]

... I just realized that I have just spent 15 minutes looking up the words to that commercial on google and wikipedia and also finding pictures of the Oscar Mayers wienermobile. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif They built this car that's shaped like a hot dog that they drive around.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Well, I wouldn't invert everything.

[El_Phil]

The necromancy police, a strange bunch. What can be so illegal about using out of date blood or a stolen inverted cross in your necromancy? Surely the more evil it is the better?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Evil is good, but evil does need to be known. Many have been the little-knowing evildoers that tried (or even succeeded) to unleash an evil of such magnitude that they themselves couldn't comprehend it. Therefore the Necromancy Police (tm) was founded; so that evil could be used safely and responsibly. This message has been brought to you by the Necromancy Police PR department. and two hands so cold I suffered from more typos than a speech written by a retard.

[Jack Simth]

Title snitch complete....

[Kamog]

Don't know what a flux capacitor is. I've only seen other kinds of capacitors like electrolytic, monolithic, thin film, ceramic disk, and tantalum.

It gets dark so early these days. It's 5:41 in the afternoon and already it's totally dark outside. It feels like it's time to go to bed.

[El_Phil]

A flux capacitor is a capacitor that stores flux. Simple when you think about it.

Damn Necromancy Police PR. Spoil sports is all they are, nothing more thrice damn their eyes!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

What eyes? They fell out three thousand years ago. Most liches with eyes either have fake eyes or continually replace them. I have chosen to leave my eye sockets empty; it gives a certain..... ambiance, especially when talking from the edges of shadow.

[El_Phil]

That does explain why you keep walking into doors and falling down mine shafts.

Now if only I could train Lassie not to summon help when she finds you trapped down there my plans would be complete!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ah, but that means my plan has worked! You believe me to be blind! You have no knowledge of Lichsense..... oh crap, I told you my master plan! Not again!

[El_Phil]

I give you full marks for effort. I mean all that damage to your face and legs from constant impacts has got to hurt. However you will have to keep up the falling to avoid suspicion.

Hmm. An alternative to training Lassie is selling her to the nearest Korean restauraunt. Then when you fall down a mine shaft no-one will know you're there!

Mwwuhhahahah! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

A Korean restaurant? You cruel insidious person! This goes way beyond what is allowed according to the Evil Accord of 1346, Fifth Age Before Man, the Accord currently enforced by the Necromantic Police! You are hereby placed under arreeeeeeeeeee...... [thud]



from the mine shaft: "What ever did those helpless Koreans do to deserve what you were planning for them? Hey..... What is that two-ton weight doing up there?" *crunch*

[Kamog]

What? Do they really serve dog at Korean restaurants? No, please not Lassie... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rant.gif

[El_Phil]

Nothing wrong with eating dogs, perfectly good meat on a dog. Bit fiddly to get off a terrier say but a St Bernard or Golden Retriever...

It's only cultural reasons people don't eat dog, for some people it's just meat like any other animal.

Although I've honestly no idea what it tastes like I think I would like to try it, just for the experience.

[Jack Simth]

There's actually a totally practical reason for not eating dogs (at least on a regular basis....): Calorie effeciency. Dogs are basically carnivores, so they eat other animals. Cows, on the other hand, are basically herbivoes, and just eat plants. Being closer to the plants, you get a better calorie efficiency off of cows than you do off of Dogs.

And before the vegitarians jump on me, meat's still the most personal time-effective method of intaking protien, although you can meet dietary needs strickly via plants.

[Kamog]

Hey, dogs are humans' best friend. We shouldn't eat friends! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

[El_Phil]

Sure if people were farming dogs then the calorie efficiency might be a factor. Given the large number of strays and dogs that are put to sleep you might as well do something with them, why not lunch?

And to Kamog: Dogs are no friend of mine. And with an attitude like that you'll never make a polar explorer.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Phil, lemme just say one thing.

You'll make excellent skeet.

[kerensky]

So anyways, I'm house sitting for some friends this weekend and come to find out that they have wireless internet (woohoo!) and that it works with my laptop (another woohoo!). THis now means taht I won't iss out on any schlockness, penguin invasions, or the great banter here.


On a side note, oh, nevermind the necromancy police are here already....

[El_Phil]

I've never skeeted in my life. All those charges were dropped and I was acquited after that convienient fire in the evidence storage facility. It's libelous I tell you!

[Jack Simth]

They dropped charges on you? Ouch. Those things are explosive....

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Libel" in Dutch is "dragonfly". They dropped dragonflies on you? Oh the horror!

[Kamog]

Exploding dragonflies? That's going to hurt. /threads/images/Graemlins/Cold.gif

[Jack Simth]

Poor exploding dragonflies. Who did they bug to deserve that?

[kerensky]

What would be even better is if the dragonflies could home in on their target. Kinda like kamikazee bombers.....

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

AAAAAAAAnd so to make the 2200 and first post.

We made it!

to 2201 that is.

Try counting from 0 to twenty-two hundred and one aloud. I know I won't http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[kerensky]

Wait?!?!? Does that mean that I made the twenty-two hundredth post and didn't notice??? Interesting.........

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Das ist interesting, ja? Zo. Tell me about your mozzer.....

[Jack Simth]

I got a letter from a mother recently.....

Greetings,

I am Mrs. Brandy Ritts I am a dying woman who have decided to donate what I have
to you. I am 59 years old; 2 years ago I was diagnosed for cancer, immediately
after the death of my husband Mr. Peter Gregory Ritts, who has left me
everything he worked for while in America.

I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late
husband to you for the good work of God, rather than allow my relatives to use
my husband's hard earned funds ungodly. Please pray that the good Lord forgive
me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe he has because He is a
merciful God. I will be going in for the cancer operation any moment from now.

I decided to WILL/donate an amount that will be disclosed to you later for the
good work of the lord, and also to help the motherless and less privilege and
also for the assistance of the widows.

At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that
my relatives are around me and my health status. I have adjusted my WILL and my
representative is aware I have changed my will and he will arrange the transfer
of the funds to you. I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you
abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to
others.

Contact my representative who is in person of Mr. Mark Johnson with this
specified email; infomarkj@netscape.net and inform him that I have briefed you
about the Will and he will inform you of the amount I am willing to you for the
good work. I know I dont know you but I have been directed to do this. Thanks
and God bless.

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task
is accomplished as I don't want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. And
Also I will be contacting with you by email as I don't want my relation or
anybody to know because they are always around me.

Regards,

Mrs. Brandy Ritts.



Well, a mother something, anyway.....

Hmm.... anyone feel like baiting a scam artist?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

I wouldn't bother. You'd probably just attract spam.

[Jack Simth]

I maintain four different e-mail accounts. That one is specifically for catching spam (actually, I dragged that out of the Junk-mail folder....)

[NullAshton]

My school address, which is NEVER posted on any sites or used for any sites, gets about 8 spam messages a day. Odd how something that's never been used on the internet except to e-mail other accounts gets spammed.

[El_Phil]

Now a cynical man might say somone at the school or the IT supplier to the school has flogged off all the email addys to spammers ala Hotmail.

As I am a cynical man that's what I suggest. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Jack Simth]

... or someone is sniffing passing packets for e-mail addresses, or someone who shouldn't have got their hands on the school directory, or someone felt like annoying you one day, or someone signed you up for some kind of offer, or someone's sniffing packets sent on a wireless network (as above, but don't need to have access to the equipment that's handling the packets - ever sent an e-mail to someone who has a home wireless network?), or someone got hold of the algorythm that generates the school's e-mail address (not usually difficult; commonly [first initial][middle initial][first X characters of last name]@[School'sDomain]) and plugged a name list through it, or....

There's actually a great many ways to get someone's e-mail address; it's even easier if you don't really care who's e-mail address you get.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Or someone else does use his school e-mail on sites and the Internet as a whole, his adress got picked up by a spambot/spammer/spam with eggs and spam/whatever, it (whatever it was) went over that person's contact list and started sending spam. Now I may not know much about the mechanics of spambots or hacking or viruses or whatever, but I think that might be a distinct possibility. Or at least a possibility.

And now we return to your regularly scheduled insanity.

CHEEZEBALLS!!!

[NullAshton]

The problem is that it's on my ISPs email address. And my other e-mail on my ISP I use all over the internet. Does it get spam? A little, but not as much as my school address does. I just want to know why the two differs so much.

[Jack Simth]

Yeah, that one is a distinct possibility (trojans/worms/viruses usually have the infected do the spamming, as otherwise there's a potentially traceable information drop address in the virus that could be used to track down who made it....).

It's also possible that the distinction is due to ISP level filtering.... school's a little less filtered.

[NullAshton]

No. It's exactly the same as my other account. Just a different name.

[Jack Simth]

Perchance one has a more guessable name than the other? NullAshton isn't something that's likely to be hit by a name generator, but RLSmith is. Especially if RLSmith is gotten in a way that is known for assigning E-mail address in such a manner that all of them are of that format.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me suddenly gets a vision of "6079 Smith W"

[Jack Simth]

Yeah, those 6079 millimeter rounds pack quite a wallup.

If only I could find a way of dealing with the kickback ... some way to move the thing would be handy, too... ah well.

Oooh, shiny button! What's this "Continue" thing d

[Kamog]

By the way, there's something that I've always wondered about that I couldn't find a good explaination for so far:
Why are there two high tides per day?

I know that the moon's gravity pulls the water in the ocean so the sea level rises on the side of the earth that is facing the moon. That's OK, I understand that, but why does the opposite side of the earth also have a high tide? It seems to me that it would make more sense if there were a low tide on the opposite side of the earth because the moon would have pulled the water away, but that's not how it actually is, there's a high tide there.

[Jack Simth]

'Cause the water on the opposite side isn't being pulled away like the water at 90 degree angles.

[douglas]

High tide with moon overhead: water being pulled towards moon.
High tide with moon under feet: rest of earth and water being pulled towards moon more strongly than the water on this side.

[kerensky]

SO here's an interesting story...

I was at my local F.Y.E. music store today buying music/movies. I usually pay with my check card and they usually ask me for my photo id (standard procedure). So anyways, the guy at the register today, when I'm pulling my liscence out of my stubborn wallet, " I've seen you enough to know your the person on the card, you don't need your id". It was at that point that I realized that I spend to much time there browsing/buying music to the point at which the workers there know me..........


So now back to the regularly sheduled insanity...

[narf poit chez BOOM]

I was once allowed to borrow books without a library card.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

AAAAAAAAAAAnd now back to your regularly scheduled insanity.....

[narf poit chez BOOM]

...Since when is insanity regularly scheduled?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Eck zactly.

And now for your regularly scheduled insanity.

CHEESE!!!!!

[NullAshton]

Since when do we have to be insane in this topic? I thought it was just a topic for people to pad their post counts.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Why do you think I keep posting "And now back to your regularly scheduled insanity"?

[kerensky]

Ohhhhhhhhh

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener...........

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Meyer wiener.....

[kerensky]

SO as posted on the Wikipedia.........



Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener.
That is what I'd truly like to be.
'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener,
Ev'ryone would be in love with me.




And personally I don't believe this thread to be one that conatians post-padding. It is instead a highly developed conversation among very intellectual persons.









http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Kamog]

/threads/images/Graemlins/MusicalNote.gif Oh, I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Mayer wiener,
'cause that is what I don't want to be.
For if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener,
there would be nothing left of me. /threads/images/Graemlins/MusicalNote.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Geek Stoners:

Duuude like, pass me that joint, I betcha I can get a natural twenty on my "Get High" roll!

[Kamog]

Don't you hate it when you keep hearing a mysterious beep sound from somewhere and you don't know where it's coming from? It seems to happen randomly: there's a little beep and then silence, and it only happens once in many days. The sound stops after just one beep so it's hard to track down the source and it's the kind of sound that's hard to tell the direction it's coming from, but it seems to be something fairly close. It doesn't seem to be the computer or a watch or a phone or clock or smoke detector or anything obvious like that. But it hasn't happened now for many weeks.

[Jack Simth]

Got an Uninterruptable Power Supply (UPS) for your machine? Most models beep when they boost or block power to keep up with demand without blowing anything out - if the house power flickers, a UPS will often beep once, as it maintains steady power for a moment.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

I had something like that...Then I remembered where my watch with the broken strap was.

Good battery on that thing. Kept it up for months.

[TerranC]

I think it's about time to let this thread die.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Why? It's an excellent thread for a minor OT discussion not worth starting another thread over. And it can be a great place to just act silly http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[NullAshton]

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!

[El_Phil]

Let the race die? Without a winner? That's crazy talk.

Not as crazy as post saying you think a thread should die, in the thread you think should die but it's close.

Anyway I hear the next stage of the race, through the mystical lands of Khaz Modan and the mountains of cheese, is especially exciting!

[NullAshton]

Ooo, cheese. They better have sharp cheddar mountains.

[kerensky]

Don't forget the Swiss Cheese Caves...

[Jack Simth]

Sorry, but the swiss cheese caves are no more. There was a mouse infestation, and, well, by the time anyone knew about it, the cheese was all gone. Now they are just the Swiss Caves.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

hehehehe...

[Kamog]

Swiss cheese caves? Oh, so that's where they get cheese from. Those cheese caves and also from the moon. I know because I saw the Wallace and Gromit movie where they go to the moon to get cheese. Haven't seen the new movie though.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

So *That's* where all the cheese on the moon went!

[kerensky]

Hey! I only have three posts to a promotion http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Kamog]

Swiss cheese is the best
http://www.shrapnelcommunity.com/threads/uploads/401156-cheese.gif

[NullAshton]

I have, uh, 1990 posts. You have to wonder why swiss cheese is so full of holes. Is it because cheese has gotten into them, eating a bunch of holes in them?

[AdmiralMartin]

No! It's because of Narf! See?! that mouse looks guilty!
/me ignores his cat avatar...

[El_Phil]

Narf is always guilty. That mouse was born guilty, even of things he didn't do. In fact especially the things he didn't do!