Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Growltigger]

Mlmbd (what does that stand for by the way?), the candy is chocolate coated haemmorroid and Chalfonts from Puke's rather sore rear end.... quite tasty I am assured by the more discerning weirdo.....

The party is hotting up, Taz is mixing cocktails like a demon, the FBW's are samba-ing their hearts out, foam is now being sprayed onto the dancefloor and the killer mongooses in the kitchen has managed to break through into the toilets and are currently amusing themselves by putting cellophane just under the toilet seats.

Taz, serve me a bottle of that Shepherd Neame Spitfire Ale, after all, no Fokker comes close

[mlmbd]

OK, I'll will take a pass on the candy, then! *mlmbd replies in disgust* Just have to eat some 'Cheetos' then!

The 'Cheetos' don't contain any puke, do they? *mlmbd questions*

mlmbd shouts "Taz, give me one of those bottles of Shepherd Neame Spitfire Ale". Thanks!

GT, FYI mlmbd stands for Mother Loves Me Best Dude. It came from a routine "The Smothers Brothers" did. Tommy Smothers was always saying to his borther Dicky; "Mom always Loved you Best, Dicky." So 'mlmbd' is my Version of that! The routine was, Brilliant by the way!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[ January 22, 2003, 18:50: Message edited by: mlmbd ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*Leaves the inner sanctum very annoyed holding one mongoose by the neck and flings it towards the bar just missing another of taz's cocktails. The rest of mongooses laugh hysterically from behind the ajar door. Watches as mlmbd considers using the vending machine and remembers the time he took them to a friends birthday party*

Welcome back taz

GT You cleared up Pukes haemmorroids, i don't want to know how exactly but my mind keeps bringing up the fearful image of the red hot poker cannon.

*Wanders behind the bar and proceeds to head into the storeroom and wheels a barrel of booze to the dancefloor and begins to tamper with the foam cannon. A few minutes later the samba'ing fbw's are being covered with the spraying brewski. Almost everyones toungues suddenly become erect like of that beer advert on the tv and they rush to the dancefloor*

[mottlee]

HEY!!!!~ HERE"S THE GIRLS???!!!

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

[Puke]

as if i didnt have few enough brains as it was, i have recently been leaking grey matter. now i see that GT has had the drippings air-puffed and cheese-coated...

HEY! dont eat those! Give me those back!

[mac5732]

The crusty old timer in the infamous cornor, invites The Gryphin to join him to remeniss on the old cantina days and to discuss new research theories, He also turns over to RD a box of used colostomy bags and deposits the minerals into his off planet account. The old geezer doesn't use them anymore as he had a circumventing operation on RenDexIII which eliminated the recycled waste containers http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

He greets the Taz with much back slapping and hooting. (he also learned from him, after he checked the books, who has tabs and who don't) Mac tells the Good Taz to put his on David G's tab. It appears it doesn't have that much outstanding and we can't allow that right http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

He notices Geo sneaking in from the Patio ordering a brewski, hmmm, He has a FBW take him a plate of pukeabob with chili sauce just to perk him up http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

He notices a number of loo worshipers exiting the Inner Sanctum quite hurridly, hmmm, now whats going on in there?

Mac munches on his meal and continues to watch the happenings in the cantina, however, in the back round he still hears a TICKING noise, I guess its still here he mumbles to himself.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Glad your back you hairy, furry, feline, you to Taz...

a munching mac

[Kamog]

Oh, now I know what the secret ingredient is to these tasty Cantina dishes you have been serving us. Now that I know what it is, I wish I didn't know. Yuck, no wonder you guys eliminated those nosy health inspectors. Suddenly I feel kind of sick... I'll soon be giving back those parts I ingested... along with some extra... ugghh! I think I need to go to the sick bay...

[dogscoff]

* Dogscoff orders a vegetarian omelette with Kikkoman soy sauce. (http://yoga.tripod.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso_e.htm)

(Warning, link contains strangeness.)

[Timstone]

Cool link Dogscoff! Two thumbs up!

[Growltigger]

Guys, there is no magic as to the secret ingredient in the cantina food. It is not even noxious. It is simply MARMITE.

Goes well with everything, even Puke parts.

PS Puke, how are those nasty scabs I cured for you

PPS guys, the salt and vinegar nachos on the bar are really nice by the way

[Raging Deadstar]

*Is about to take a bite of the nachos on the bar when he looks at geo tucking into another one of pukes bodyparts and suddenly begins to think twice about it. He takes a handful out to his ship and activates his tachyon scanners and analyses this curious culinary concoction. After a few minutes the printout reads the ingrediants.*

Marmite
Flour
Sodium Chloride..
David Gervais flakey skin and armpit clippings? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

GT How could you man! You'll sell anything these days, also i'm working on another clone, any celebraties you desperate for a night of passion with? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
...After a few minutes the printout reads the ingrediants.*

Marmite
Flour
Sodium Chloride..
David Gervais flakey skin and armpit clippings? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I always suspected that someone had tapped into the drain under my shower unit, well now I guess I know! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif I sure hope you guys didn't think I gave Gt my flakey skin and armpit clippings of my own free will!

Just think, if he managed to tap into my shower drain, imagine what he has tapped into of yours!

..Now you all have a 'real' reason to be paranoid! Oh, and a Tacyon scan won't turn up all of Gt's devices!

..and now you all know why I always BMOB (Bring my own booze!) and I suggest you all BYOB too! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!

[Taz-in-Space]

..Taz pauses in his bar-tending duties just long enough to wave to the old regulars as well as those just starting to check out this weird place.

Hearing a call for:

Shepherd Neame Spitfire Ale <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Taz opens a new cask and drains off the top half in the interest of quality control... Yep, good Kentish ale! Releasing a burp that reverses the flight route of a mongoose someone threw at the bar, Taz begins to pass out the remainder of the cask.

While most of his attention is focused on his tasks, Taz notices a faint ticking. Hmmm, does somebody have a very loud watch or is that some bomb timer going?
Oh well, what can a mere bomb do that hasn't been done here before?

Hey Everyone, try the Twiglets the Cantina is serving at the bar - it only LOOKS like tree twigs covered in Marmite!

[ January 24, 2003, 04:50: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Kamog]

MARMITE... I'm having a flashback of the "Marmite argument" that happened so many times when I was a kid.

FRIEND: Hey, put some marmite on your bread. It's good!

ME: I don't like marmite.

FRIEND: What, have you tried it?

ME: Yes, a few times, remember? I don't like it.

FRIEND: Why not? I like it! It's good!

ME: I don't like the strong taste of it.

FRIEND: Everyone says that. That's because you spread it too thick. You just put a thin layer on your bread and it's good. People put way too much on and then they say they don't like it, but they're doing it wrong.

ME: You told me that before. I did put it on really thin. I still don't like it.

FRIEND: I still think you put it on too thick.

ME: OK, we went through this before, but fine. Here goes. See, this is thin.

FRIEND: OK, it's good, isn't it?

ME: It was this thin the Last time we did this. It tastes exactly the same as Last time, and I still don't like it. And I know we're going to go through this same argument again next week!

[Growltigger]

"Happy days are here again, oh happy days are here again"

I am so happy, the current Mrs GT is going away shopping with friends this weekend (to Milan for god's sake) and I have taken delivery of 6 crates of assorted Kentish ale.... Spitfire, Bishop's Finger, 1698, Late Red and Goldings....

Yippee, this weekend is going to be a hop enthused haze.....

Funny call though cos the plumber who is fitting my new bathroom called me to say there was large van at the house delivery 72 bottles of prime ale.... I told him to accept delivery and keep his horrible mits off my booze......

Shepherd Neame, possibly the best beer in the world... now all I need are some pickled eggs, some pork scratchings, some chicken itchings and some MARMITE (my mate marmite etc)....

Raging Deadstar, please can you clone Ines Sastre and Salma Hayek for me as I do fancy smothering the pair of them in Shepherd Neame ale and marmite.... and I wonder what they could do with a pickled egg or two!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[dogscoff]

Marmite...

*Shudder*

[Growltigger]

Dogscoff runs shrieking out of the cantina as two marmite smeared FBW's approach him for a cuddle...

Scoffo, we can do Bovril if that helps! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

..Gt, Rags and Taz walk into a bar... WHAAAAAM!

Geeez! You would think at least one of them would have seen it!

Hahahahahah ROTFLMAO! Hahahahahahaha

I can be soooooo funny sometimes! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ January 24, 2003, 11:24: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[dogscoff]

Mmm... tactile FBWs... but NO!..Marmite!.. but... FBWs... Agggh, but Marmite, but...

Set into an infinite attraction/ repulsion loop, Dogscoff's head explodes, efectively removing his olfactory capacity. The loop thus broken, he is able to fully appreciate the FBWs without being bothered by their yeasty coating.

[ January 24, 2003, 11:37: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigger]

Exactly Gryphin, the phrase is sarcastic but means that I laughed so hard that I wet myself!!

Growltigga looks over to where 4 FBW's are pulling over a large jacuzzi filled to the brim with MARMITE...

Anyone fancy a quick dip??

[dogscoff]

'scoff, still headless, stumbles over to the jacuzzi, bumping into various people and items on the way.

[primitive]

Could anyone please explain to a non British what this MARMITE stuff is ?

It must be pretty disgusting if it's worse than the parts of PUKE served in the cantina lately.

[Growltigger]

Primitive, Marmite is a yeast extract which is thick and black like treacle, is very salty but contains about every Vitamin B compound you would ever need in life.... you eat it on bread, you put it in cooking BUT...

the big thing about MArmite is that you either love it or hate it. No one is ever in between.

Dogscoff hates it, I think Sarah Jessica Parker should be smeared in it

Marmite is the food of the gods, the elixir of life, ambrosia and nectar combined, and far more fun than peanut butter, hazelnut spread or any Shiphams' paste......

I LLUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRVVVVVVV IT

[ January 24, 2003, 15:28: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[dogscoff]

Marmite is evil, it is foul, it is the devil-vermin-twiglet-vomit-spawn, i hate it.

BLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGHHHH!!!!

There are probably some good marmite-hate sites out there.

[Ragnarok]

After Rags recovers from running into the bar (nice one David http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ) He gets up and takes his seat at his usual booth. He orders some breakfast and eats it.

I've never had marmite myself but from what I hear it isn't that great. So I will probably abstain from it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[David E. Gervais]

We Canadians spread Marmite on the soles of our boots in the winter to provide a nice non-slip suface. It's saved my life more times than I can count! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

..If Marmite was Colorless, Odorless and Tasteless Then I'd know what it really was! LoL http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Yes I know I'm full of obscure references, but if you understand me, so are you! Digest that!

Hahahahahahaha! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ January 24, 2003, 16:54: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[dogscoff]

We 'Canadians' spread Marmite on
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Why the speechmarks around the word Canadians? Does this mean you are not as Canadian as you first appear? Where are you really from? Are you some kind of body-snatching pod being?

*Dogscoff, a replacement head now grown (thanks to a bit of "borrowed" DNA from Geo) and all the marmite 'washed' (said with a lewd waggling of the eyebrows) off by FBWs, pops a few caffiene tablets and picks up a baseball bat.

"They come for you while you're asleep. Don't fall sleep."

*Swings bat randomly, staring with wild eyes...

[David E. Gervais]

What 'Speechmarks'? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ January 24, 2003, 16:56: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[primitive]

MARMITE

primitve decides to pass on the Marmite and get his vitamine B from his regular source. He orders another beer.

Actually, in periods when I do a lot of endurance training, I take a Yeast exctract (tasteless) to get some extra B1 (Tiamine) which is not in beer. Highly recomended.

[Growltigger]

and then Dogscoff is immediately hit in the face by an eruction from Growltigga's new Bovril Cannon...

Dont like marmite, dont like marmite, I bet you are a girly poncy marmalade type of person then...

Growltigga lights up a fragmentation yeasty marmite bomb and lobs it as the El Regurgito

[Gryphin]

GT, in all my born days it never occured to me that is what that expression meant.
And as for Marmite, It is a Marmot I was thinking of.
Tell ya what. Figure every tenth post of yours I'm going to make some foolish comment.
Instead of me doing that. Why don't you just write some responce as if I had. Probably easier that way all around. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
(um that was ment as humor)

[Growltigger]

What do you mean Gryphin, are you saying that every ninth post of mine I should finish it by saying "Gryphin, shut your cakehole" or "Hey, we havn't taken the piss out of Gryphin facial hair for at least a couple of months" etc etc

Dogscoff is pinned to the wall by a fusillade of Growltigga's viscious ninja throwing twiglets (traditional flavour of course). He looks worried as Growltigga approached with his new Marmite Smeared Red Hot Poker Handcannon

[mottlee]

Geee Wizzz just how in the HE*L am I to keep this place clean (sort of) with all for you blowing up???? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[mlmbd]

GT, I don't mind the 'Marmite'! I kinda like that salty flavor. *mlmbd protests* It is all that puke you insist on using.

*mlmbd boasts* puke, here are 24 bags of 'Cheatos' I got out of the vending machine. So, now all is right with your 'Grey matter'. *mlmbd adds* That is every bag from the machine as well.

gryphin, 'Marmite' is mostly a UK thing. So, unless you live there, have friends in the UK or have spent some time there you probably would know about it! I will let one of our learned 'Brits' enlighten you as to what it is.

*mlmbd yells at the mongooses 'Alpha male' Hey 'Ceasar', I didn't know you and your 'clan' were working for GT. So how is everything with your 'clan'? *mlmbd quearies* And how is..is...*mlmbd tries to remember 'Ceasar's' buddy's name* ah....ah, Brutus? That was one hell of a party! Wasn't it? *mlmbd reminisses* This 'clan' of killer mongooses, is indeed a fierce clan. They come from the 'Joxsrnear' System! fierce as they come. Also some of the biggest partiers and pratical jokers around, anywhere.

as mlmbd waits for an answer from his old pal 'Ceasar' he scans the cantina. As he does, he hears; "tick......tick......tick."! Criky there is a bomb in here. He moves towards the very muffled ticking. All the FBW's dancing covered in 'Marmite', with all the patrons loudly celebrating and bottles breaking. Makes it very difficult to track. Thank God I was trained for explosive disarment/disposal *mlmbd thinks to himself* tracking ever closer to the ticking source.......*mlmbd walks right past RD, who says something to him that he now only hears as background noise.* Past Taz, GT and Gryphin. Into the storeroom he goes. The ticking is much louder and with all the adreniline he is now quite sober. *mlmbd moves to some stacked flour sacks* he removes he custom made 'Yuack' gloves. |sweat has begin to trickel down mlmbd's forehead| *mlmbd uses on of the gloves to wipe his forhead* mlmbd now runs hand along the sides of the large sacks of flour. About two-thirds the way around he feels a wire. He feels a lumb in his throat. And thinks to himself "wow, wish I had a bit of Ale right now! He moves around the sacks. Kneels down, an there it is a nice piece of work *mlmbd admits to himself* It has been awhile. mlmbd searches his jacket pockets. There they are, as he feels his 'side cutters and 'nippers'. Pulling them out of his pocket, placing them on a near by shelf. He proceed to check for any trace of a bobie trap on the device. No pressure plates, no wiring to the the flour sacks and No lasers present. mlmbd being satisfied that there are no bobie traps, gingerly removes the top sack of flour. Throwing the sack aside he see the entire device now. *just then a drop of sweat runs into his eye* wiping his forehead againg. mlmbd kneels down once more. Four screws hold the top in place. Fumbling through his pockets, searching for something. Not findind what he was looking for. Withdraws his hand. *mlmbd thinking thats is very odd* Then remembers that the items he was searcing for he had placed on the shelf. Geesh, mlmbd things to himself. He removes a 'Mc Gyver' patended pocket knife from his pants pocket. Open the knife to the desired selection of 'flat head' screw drivers. He proceeds to remove the screws holding the lid on. Now, let see this baby's inards. mlmbd removes the lid to the device. Revieling it's intrenal parts. His eye search the device. Very nice and very professional work. *mlmbd remarks to himself out loud!* Yes, there is what I needed to see. Grabing the 'nippers' from the shelf. Holds a yellow wire in between his fingers. Snip! The device stops ticking. mlmbd quickly remove the explosives and disconnects the power sourse. mlmbd breaths a 'Great' sigh of relief. Picks up all the components and re-enters the fornt of the house! Walking over to GT. mlmbd places 'all' but the explosive into his hands. Informing him that is was a bomb, and that it was in the storeroom. mlmbd walks to the bar and ask 'Taz' for a bottle of Guinness Stout, Thanks!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Ragnarok]

Rags still hears ticking noise coming from the back of the Cantina. He watches mlmbd set the parts of his bomb on the bar for GT to examine.

"mlmbd," Rags begins, "It's nice you found that bomb. But that wasn't the ticking noise everyone has been hearing. The "device" as it's known cannot be defused. Some time in the future this Cantina is going bye bye."

Rags drinks a brewski real quick and walks out. He takes his key to his massive dreadnaught and puts a nice long scratch down Timstones ship, he then takes a potato and sticks it in the exhaust system.
Then he Boards his ship and takes off.

[ January 24, 2003, 20:20: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[Kaladaar]

Tired from a long day of chasing space herpes, I enter slowly. (this place being so new to me, I need to be extra careful)

I take my first steps towards the bar when my eyes catch something flying towards me. A large dart whizzes past my nose and I duck. It silently continues along towards its intended target. I stand, silent, watching as it makes a slow curve, then stopping abruptly as it hits the bull's-eyes on the floating dart board.

'Wow' I think to myself, I wish I could make my darts curve like that.

A loud voice is heard to boom over the dull roar of the bar crowd, "Bull's-eye, my game. OK, who else wants to get humiliated?"

'Not me, I'm not even in the same league' I whisper softly to myself as I make my way to the bar. Looking at the large selection of drinks, I make my decision, "Gimme some of that blue stuff"

The hairs on the back of my neck tense up slightly as I can almost hear the collective thoughts of everyone in the place saying, "Rookie!"

I smile and think, 'At least I didn't trip coming in.'

[ January 24, 2003, 21:17: Message edited by: Kaladaar ]

[Kaladaar]

Sipping my (blue) Kool-Aid (gee, what a manly drink that is) I scan the room. I can hear several discussing the goods and bads of Marmite. Curious, I ask the bartender, "Do you have any of this Marmite they are talking about? I'd kinda like to find out for myself if its any good."

"You betcha, how much would you like?" he asked, then added, "And keep in mind, whatever you order you HAVE TO EAT!"

That Last little reminder (or was it a warning) kinda took the gumpshun out of my request. "I guess I best play safe, so give me the smallest portion you have." I say, confident at making a wise choice.

<< Thinking back, I only wish I had noticed the bartender glancing over towards GT and that the nod he got back was accompanied with a evil looking smirk. Sighs, if only my foresight was half as good as my hindsight. >>

Feeling pretty good about my selection of portion size, I turned to see the bartender retuning with a HUGE bowl containing what looked like very thick and very spoiled gravy. I gulped, "THAT's Marmite?" I half gasped, "And people actually EAT THAT STUFF?"

As I stood there thinking of what to do, I saw the bartender looking back towards GT, they were both having a good chuckle at my expense. "1000 minerals to anyone who will empty this bowl for me!!!"

A tiny man came over, climbed up on the stool next to me, picked up the bowl and emptied the contents on the bar room floor. "That'll be 1000 minerals please."

Sighs... I can hear it even louder now... "Rookie"

[ January 26, 2003, 02:59: Message edited by: Kaladaar ]

[mlmbd]

mlmbd feeling very pleased with himself says to Kaladaar; "you know you are still going to have to eat that". mlmbd smirks with that remark. And orders another bottle of Guinness Stout from 'Taz'! Thanks, Taz.

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Kaladaar]

Kaladaar looks around, his eyes scanning the area, almost in a panic. he relaxes slightly when he sees the sign. Quickly, he pulls out his magic artist's pen, (with magic non-erasable ink) draws a few squiggles so fast no one can see and replaces it for all to see.

The sign now reads:

<center>NO MONO-SYLLABLE SWEARING
NO SECONDS
NO EATING OFF FLOOR
SILLY ROOKIE TAX = 1000 MINERALS
NO SIGN PAINTING, EVER!

NO EXCEPTIONS!!!</center>

"I'd really like to oblidge, but I cant." he says, pointing to the sign.

[Gryphin]

Marmite? I thought that was the symbiotic life form over my lip.
Is there another type?

[Growltigger]

OOOHHHHH, Dogscoff and 2 FBW's are covered in MARMITE, someone get some toast soldiers and a couple of boiled eggs quickly...

David Gervais, I hope you paid Tommy Cooper's estate appropriate copyright for that gag. Laugh? I did till the tears run down my legs.

Sheesh, after Friends, Frasier, Cheers, Sex and the City, Ren & Stimpy etc, can we please roll up our NEXT unfunny North American?

[Gryphin]

GT, if they was running down your legs I doubt they were tears.

[mac5732]

RD how about somemore Liz Hurly clones in bright red or black very tight, revealing, shiny outfit, like the one she wore in bedazzeled, oh ya... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Mac watches mlmbd take the bomb over to GT, he smiles, one always puts one where one can find it, therefore, leaving the original still unfound he mutters.... tick... tick.... tick.... at least it hasn't tocked yet http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Mac continues to relax contemplating his research into a question asked in another thread, 'why did the chicken cross the street' hmmm, he begins to jot down notes as he contemplates another of life's universal mysteries....

He passes on the Marmite or whatever the conconction may be, orders another brewski as his mind wanders again back to a short time ago when he was Hippie Geezer thanks to TerranC, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Researching Mac

[Kamog]

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
I've never had marmite myself but from what I hear it isn't that great. So I will probably abstain from it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Good idea! Marmite has this strong and strange taste to it. If you're going to try it, just try it once. If you don't like it, don't let people trick you into eating it again. I don't care how thin you spread it on your bread, I still don't like it.

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Kamog:
Good idea! Marmite has this strong and strange taste to it. If you're going to try it, just try it once. If you don't like it, don't let people trick you into eating it again. I don't care how thin you spread it on your bread, I still don't like it.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">hmmm, sounds like Sushi!! I tried it and don't like it. But my friends keep insisting that it tastes good and I should give it another try. Yuk! Sour Cream, Yougart, Sour kraut and Spinnach are also on my 'Yuk List' and yes I have tasted them all. Now on my 'Yum yum List' I have all veggies, (especially cooked cabbage, brussel sprouts and peas & carrots) all meat, (I love bologna!) most fruit (especially when cooked!) All pastas's and I must not forget My ultimate weakness..... Chips! (with the exception of those Tostitos, way too bland, and if a chip needs a dip then it's not a chip IMHO!)

Now you know too much about me! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!

P.S. Did I mention I love gravy and KD? mmmmmmmm!

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz notices that Kaladaar has apparently dropped his Marmite order and quickly presses a
button on the high-tech bar control panel. The marmite along with various odd and ends begin to levitate off the floor. Guided by joystick control, this collection moves back into the bowl
in front of Kaladaar.

'There you go Kaladaar - and no extra charge for the odds and ends!',says Taz. 'But I will now have to charge you the new Rookie Tax.'

Moving farther down the bar, Taz collects the bomb parts that mlmbd left. Hmmm, this looks like that 'Space Bug' Bomb that me and Mac installed in the storeroom! Oh well, just have to watch out for those 'crawlly bits' in the food for a while...

Hmmm, is that barbarian viking a rookie too? On second thought he looks more slow than silly...

With a shrug, Taz gets back to work.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar slowly reverses his small transport into the doorway and opens the cargo bay, everyone gathers round and looks on. Firstly he rolls 5 barrels of Deadstar vodka for taz from his brewery. Taz smiles and goes off to "quality test" the new arrivals, then he wheels 2 large boxes in and goes about removing the ship from the entrance.*

*Walks other to mac with a crowbar, the old man slowly grips his custard firing missile launcher. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife and eat it. Raging Deadstar turns round and pulls open the large wooden crate. Suddenly a liz hurley clone in a very tight extremely revealing dress hops out sits on his knee. Macs eyes almost pop out and raging deadstar leans over and whispers to mac "Theres a free room upstairs" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Mac happily scampers off with the clone and RD sighs "lets hope the poor guys heart doesn't stop ticking!"*

GT, Your clones are happily waiting for you upstairs in a king size silk bed with massage oil, a course fur brush, Shepherd Neame ale and marmite and some ice cubes and after that a rose petal filled jacuzi. I'm sure that you'll brave the waters for that pleasure! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Anyone else after a clone for their pleasure, it's a 2000 mineral charge plus access to your tab for my own personal uses! If you ask me it's a good price

Now if you'll excuse me i'll be upstairs with Talena Atfield (from Kittie) Jytt Hyden (Pornorphans) and Otep Shamaya (Otep) with some drumsticks!

[ January 25, 2003, 21:25: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Kamog]

RD, do your clones know how to do the Gryphin position and Circle the Wagons?

[David E. Gervais]

..I walk back into the Cantina holding a bunch of pics under my right arm. I move over to Primitive Grab him by the ankle with my left (weaker) arm. Primitive's world is turned upside down and my weaker arm barely manages to prevent his head from bouncing off the floor.. What the heck, My left arm is not really that weak, to prove this point I swing my arm in an up-down motion banging Primitive's head a few time off the floor making a point to educate him in the process... Primi! it's not nice to be rude..bonk!.. Didn't your mum ever tell you to be nice to strangers?.. Bonk!.. Your best friend was a stranger before you met him/her!.. BONK!.. You'r not making it easy for me to be your friend! BONK! .. But I'm a nice guy, I'll give you another chance.. Here take a look at these..

1043534894.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534894.gif)
1043534909.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534909.gif)
1043534922.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534922.gif)
1043534949.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534949.gif)
1043534964.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534964.gif)
1043534990.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534990.gif)
1043535024.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043535024.gif)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534894.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534909.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534922.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534949.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534964.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534990.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043535024.gif

BTW: Conan the Barbarian is remarkably well mannered compared to you. Conan O'Brian on the other hand lacks that kind of finesse. Strange that you think you look like Conan the Barbarian but you're acting like Conan O'Brian.

FYI: I'm the kind of person who judges people by how they act, not how they look! ..and I give everyone a second chance along with the benifit of a doubt.

Have a Great Day, Primitive, Cheers!

P.S. I think the second to Last is a good likeness of you!

[ January 25, 2003, 23:19: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Kamog]

2000 mineral charge to get a clone? Hmm... How much is it to use the Holo-suites upstairs?

[David E. Gervais]

Kamog, that's 2000 minerals 'Plus' access to your Tab!! and you're in the wrong forum for the holo-suites! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!

[ January 25, 2003, 23:21: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Kaladaar]

Kal roars with laughter as Taz sets the bowl down in front of him. With head shaking from side to side, he shrugs, still laughing, he takes a deep breath and begins to gobble up the contents of the bowl. His face wrinkles as he takes his first bite, then slowly his eyes brighten as he polishes off the concoction, "Wow, that's some damn good stuff, especially those crunchy bits."

Letting out a sigh of frustration and relief, Kal pays the Silly Rookie Tax and orders a Ganymede Time Bomb, chugs it down. He quickly orders a small pitcher full of his favorite drink, and with his glass, turns and after spotting an empty table near the back of the room, he makes his way to it, side-stepping three well liquored patrons, several odd looking dozen toes and one very long tail.

Leaning back in his chair, he takes a sip of his drink, scans the bar, making mental notes of the dos and don'ts of the Cantina.

[tbontob]

David, about your P.S.

I may be wrong, but I think the Last two pics are the only pics which are not of Conan the Barbarian? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Y/N?

[ January 25, 2003, 23:31: Message edited by: tbontob ]

[tbontob]

Oops, screwed up! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ January 25, 2003, 23:30: Message edited by: tbontob ]

[David E. Gervais]

This is the one I meant..

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1043534990.gif

..and fyi it is a painting of Conan the Barbarian,. a Marvel Comics edition!! I like it best, but let's see if Primitive chooses this one or not!

Cheers!

Edit: Looks like Primitive likes the Marvel Edition too! A man of good taste, put your next drink on my tab Primitive! Cheers!

[ January 25, 2003, 23:48: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[David E. Gervais]

Hey, I just noticed something, this Kaladaar Dude has an avatar pic done in my style and I don't remember making it. Does this mean there is a forger within our midst? Should I call the Intergalactic Police?

So wazzzz up, Dude? Too shy to make a request? Or are you of independant mind and body?

[primitive]

primitive walks over to David Gervais table.

" Hey fella, you that crazy artist dude? "
DG watches the hulking brute leaning over his table.
" Yes." DG answer with a squeeky voice, obviously a little intimidated by the sheer size of the savage.
" Hey, I buy you a TAB" (or was it a drink on my tab, don't remember)

primitive slides in beside DG in the sofa, pinning him against the wall, leaving him no option but to accept.

" See lotta great paintjobs round here, you maka them ?"
" Yes, some of them." DG seem to relax a bit, maybe the fiendish fiend isn't so bad after all.
" You maka primitive one too ? " primitive asks with a sheepish grin, while fumbling his rusty (yet pointy) spear.

Felling even more secure, DG slides under the table.

"Let me have a look at you and see if I can get get some inspiration " DG says from the other side.
" Hmmm. The low sloping forehead, lots of muscles, the obnoxious body odor. Yes, I get an image here." David says.

"Wot is it ?" primitive asks, with the look on his face of a child ready to open his X-mas presents.
"I, I see Conan th..."
"Wot" With a mighty roar, primitve springs to life, wielding his rusty (yet pointy) spear "You think I look like that girlie O'Brian fella"

Running from the cantina, we can hear DG screeming " The Barbarian, I ment the Barbarian".

primitive starts to follow, but is distracted by a Marmite-covered FBW trynig to do the limbo to the tick-tick-tick sound on the bardisk.

[Kaladaar]

My good man, don't you know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Monkey see, Monkey do... Did Monkey me copy Monkey you?

Here is my explanation:
You recommended a great drawing program (ArtGem), for which I am truly grateful. A truly wondrous program it is. You led and will always lead the way with your vast and ever growing library of excellent avatars. I sought only to blend in, if that is a crime, then I plead guilty. My intentions were honorable and it is my hope you see them as such.

My fate, I leave in your hands

[primitive]

primitive wakes on the floor of the cantina with a thumping headache. Crawling around on all 4 he notices some pictures laying around. He carefully picks up a classic drawing of Conan ( John Buscema ?), and decides to make this his symbol.

Even tho David Gervais is the source of his headache he decides DG is his friend (for now), and that DG will not find out how the rusty (yet pointy) spear feels up his ***.

primitive stumbles over to his old table, but finds a green man sitting in his chair.

- hey man, thats my chair.

[David E. Gervais]

Kaladaar, this is "The Cantina"!! Putting you fate in anybody's hands is a very dangerous thing to do, but you're still a bit of a rookie so I'll just take a piece of that Rookie-Tax and leave it at that. You did a good job with that avatar by the way, you were just a bit skimpy on the polish though! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!

[Kaladaar]

With the Last of his Ganymede Time Bomb on its way down his throat, Kal looks up, sees one very ugly brute hovering over him. "Your chair, sorry, I was unaware." he offered... "Tell you what, if you can tell me how long the 100 years war Lasted, you can have your chair, or is that too difficult a challenge for you?"

While Primitive grunts and scratches his head searching for the answer to the question, Kal gets up, slips stealthily past the giant of a man and disappears into the crowd, chuckling quietly to himself.

[David E. Gervais]

Primitive, placing your 'Rusty (yet Pointy) spear in dark places like that will only have bad results. They'll have to rename your spear to 'Stinky (yet Pointy)' and I'm sure you wouldn't want that! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

..there's a reason they say "Be carefull where you point that thing!" and it's not because they are afread! They're just thinking of your best interest!

Cheers!

[ January 26, 2003, 01:23: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[primitive]

primitive smiles, he knows the answer to this.

The 100 years war, that was 1337 to 1453, that should make it 122 Years.

Feeling his headache increasing by the advanced arithmetic, primitive looks for the green man, but he has already gone.

primitive sits down, leans back and ponders if RD's Kylie clones come in different sizes.

[Kaladaar]

To prevent any possible thoughts of my forging your style, oh great and masterful Avatar creator, I redrew mine so that it now has its own personality.

Kaladaar is ever watchful, not always alert, but always learning. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Kaladaar]

Kal's keen sense of hearing makes out Primitive's half whispered answer to his question. When he hears it, he raises one eyebrow, smiles and thinks, 'For a primitive, he uses modern NETworking well'

"Barkeep, another GTB, and send one, a double, to my friend over there." he says, pointing.

Kal watches as the waiter walks over, serves the drink and gestures back in his direction. Kal then raises his glass in Primitive's direction, nods slightly and with a half smiles, empties his glass and again disappears into the crowd...

[Kamog]

How did you get that answer?

OK, first I noticed that 1453 - 1337 does not equal 122, so I realized that it's not that simple. Then I realized that the Hundred Years War was actually not one war, but a series of short wars, with some periods of peace in between, so you don't include the periods of peace. But I don't remember much from history class, and I couldn't figure out how to arrive at 122?

[Ragnarok]

"Talena Atfield (from Kittie)"

You got some awesome taste my friend. She is friggin' hott! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[primitive]

Kaladaar:
Thanks for the drink man, but the RL me actually knew the answer 1337 to 1453 (Guess I'm a bit of a history buff) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

Kamog:
You can't excpect a cretin like primitive to get the substraction correct. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[mac5732]

a very beragged Mac comes strolling back into the cantina with the Liz Hurley Clone on his arm, His face is lit in a gigantic Grin, sweat pours down from his brow, his clothes looking wrinkled, but everyone notices the firm, solid step of his walk, the "Twinkle" is in his eyes, He goes over to his table, orders a round of brewskis for everyone, leans back and sighs. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Oh My Very Good RD, A million thanks for your most wonderous of gifts (even if it cost 2000 minerals and a co owner of his tab) I owe you one big time... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif My profuse thanks and salutations... aaahh the outfit she wears alone is worth it... oh ya, (as mac turns up the juice on his newly installed pacemaker #51,) the old one gave out during round 3 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )

He notices the new avatar pics posted on the dart board next to the bar, hmmmm, seems we're getting some tabs lol,

He waves at the Taz and then proceeds to try and explain his theroies of The Gryphin Position and Circle the Wagons to the LH Clone, (with a huge smile in his eyes)

Oh Rd Thanks, Thanks, your in my will..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

a tired and worn out Mac (but not dead and still Kicking http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif )

[Kaladaar]

Kamog:
It wasn't the 122 I was raising my eyebrow to, but the fact that he had the years right. Let's see what we can come up with if we do the calculations...

<h4><pre> 1453
-1337
=====
116 years</pre></h4>Did I hear someone yell bingo?

[primitive]

Bingo

So Kaladaar. You a Mathematican ?

Try this one
Think of a number.
Multiply it by 3.
Now add 5.
Take away the number you first thought of.
Now add 7.
Subtract 2.
Add back the number you first thought of.
Now, close your eyes.

Dark, isn't it?

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mlmbd]

Oh, that is a primative game, Bingo!

Earthers find it stimulating, some how!

Kaladaar, pist! *mlmbd whispers* Since you are new to the Cantina. I feel I should mention something to you. My race is not effected by magic in any form. We also carry an assortment of crystal/amulets and the like for any and all magic. So, I did see you change the sign. But I will let it pass 'this' time. And as long as you don't try to use your magic on me, I will not say anything! Agreed?

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[David E. Gervais]

Hey! I just found a Thermo-Nuclear-Hand-Grenade! ..and the instructions are really really simple..

Begin:
Step 1) Hold the TNHG firmly in your hand.
Step 2) Pull pin!
End:

Simple, so simple! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mlmbd]

Number 3; THROW IT! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[tbontob]

Number 4: Not up! At the enemy! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ January 26, 2003, 14:28: Message edited by: tbontob ]

[mlmbd]

Number 5; or walk out side and open your hand! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by mlmbd:
Number 3; THROW IT! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">ROTFLMAO.. Hahahahahahaha! Hey, Dude, it's a Thermo-Nuclear-Hand-Grenade... Why throw it? Do you know anybody who can throw a grenade far enough to escape the Nuclear BLast? Or run far enough away after throwing it? LOL

You guys are so funny! Thanks, the laugh did me good!

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[tbontob]

David http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

You got us! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

My race can outrun the bLast. So it would be best to throw it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Kamog]

Step 0) Make sure your affairs are in order.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Wanders into the cantina happily after a night with female rock stars. He passes the green guy who is asking strange and hard questions, and dodges the barbarian who carries the rusty (yet pointy) spear. He smiles at mac who is having the time of his life with the clone. Raging Deadstar walks up to the bar and helps himself to a nice ornage juice on macs tab (don't want to diminish his retirement fund) *

Step right up step right up, For a special sale price of 1500 minerals and access to your tab i will clone anyone you desire. Celebrities, That girl next door or even dead people (though my team of molerats arn't keen on graverobbing) and *points to primitive* yes we can genetically alter there bodies!

Yes rags, Talena Atfiled is hot

[primitive]

Hearing RDs offer, primitive checks his financial situation.
Hmm, just 3000 Minerals.
That could get me a large Kylie clone, and still leave me enough to pay my tab.

primitive walks over to RD: Hey, gimme 2 of them Kylie's, and make em both 1M90 tall.

[tesco samoa]

http://www.idleworm.com/nws/2002/11/iraq2.shtml

the easily offended should not view or view with caution

[Desdinova]

so thats what CIV4 is going to be!
too funny. thanks for putting that up tesco samoa.

[primitive]

Tesco:
Thanks for the link, twas great.

Desdinova:
I think it is supposed to be educational, not funny.

[Desdinova]

it probably was but i have had too much wine tonight and find most things funny right now.

[primitive]

Sorry Desi, forgot it was Superbowl-sunday over there. Don't follow that over here.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Desdinova]

no, just enjoying a nice night of surfing the web and drinking fermented grapejuice.

edit. oh yeah and playing the game.

[ January 27, 2003, 04:33: Message edited by: desdinova ]

[Growltigger]

Who is this bird from "Kittie" you are all ogling for Britain...

I saw possibly one of the silliest movies ever on Saturday night, anyone seen "Reign of Fire"??

[mlmbd]

GT, I saw "Reign of Fire". Was interesting! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

David David Gervais; or 6)Place Thermo-Nuclear-Hand-Grenade in Nuclear Catapult Type III (which will launch any object at 1,000,000kph. With a 5 sec fuse, no prob!) push release lever! Then smile! Didn't think I would be making this list if all was not cover in my trusty little handbook. Did you? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[David E. Gervais]

mlmbd, dare I ask how much a Nuclear Catapult Type III costs? I'm on a budget! lol

Cheers!

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by growltigger:
Mlmbd, if by "interesting", you mean total hogwash then I totally agree with you.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I saw the movie in theatres over here and I thought it was an 'ok' movie. Not close to being 'good' but it was 'ok'.
It could have been alot better then it was. It was too short and just too bland.

[Growltigger]

Rags, I agree, the trailer had a lot of potential (dragons, helicopters and bald men running around with axes) but the movie just lost it for me.

Can you tell me what the point of those blokes jumping out of helicopters were? I still couldn't work out what they were trying to do

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by growltigger:


Can you tell me what the point of those blokes jumping out of helicopters were? I still couldn't work out what they were trying to do<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">It's been awhile since I saw the movie but IIRC they jumped out of the helicopters with guns with huge nets in them. They would then get around the Dragon and shoot those guns to make the net cover it and cause to not be able to fly. It would then fall to the ground and they would kill it.

[Raging Deadstar]

I tried the whole capture with nets thing with my overweight maths teacher, didn't work though, in fact she capsized my desk while she was at it!

OK GT, Click Here (http://www.kittienet.com/talena4.html) for a picture of Talena Atfield, i know kylies more your type but me and rags have to admit she's pretty dam fine!

[Desdinova]

reign of fire was well worth the price i paid to see it. i won free tkts off the radio so it didnt cost me a thing. but i still enjoyed it.

[Growltigger]

Mlmbd, if by "interesting", you mean total hogwash then I totally agree with you.

Nuclear Catapult Type III?? you damn north americans are so impractical, you always want sexy hi-tech equipment to play with and dont think how to solve the situation with the materials readily at hand...

All you need to fire a thermonuclear hand grenade a "safe" distance is a "Y" shaped piece of wood (or table edge or hatstand) and a piece of knicker eLastic such as those normally found holding the reinforced super-strength gusset protectors worn by old ladies.... the tensile strength of said knicker eLastic is generally sufficient to launch large objects into orbit, let alone a nuclear hand grenade a few miles!!

[Kamog]

I saw Reign of Fire a few months ago. It was OK. But it seemed rather unbelievable that a few guys armed with small weapons and explosives can defeat the dragons, when the dragons were strong enough to wipe out the entire military force of the whole world.

[Growltigger]

Kamog, that is what I thought about the movie. It is a pity cos I really think Christian Bale is a great actor. Oh well, I missed the whole net thing with the paratroopers, they seemed to jump out purely to either hit the ground at speed or get scoffed by the dragon (yuk, I really dont like watching people get eaten)..

The kittie girl is quite cute, but personally, red-heads scare me

[mlmbd]

David Gervais, mlmbd, dare I ask how much a Nuclear Catapult Type III costs? <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">One gold please! Thanks!

GT, Nuclear Catapult Type III?? you damn north americans are so impractical, you always want sexy hi-tech equipment to play with and dont think how to solve the situation with the materials readily at hand.. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Impactical? I think not Kittie Kat! And the "Nuclear Catapult Type III" is readily at hand. It is hand held. Very similar to your very antaquated 'Sling Shot' (no matter where the eLastic comes from). The main difference, I don't need to chase some old woman down.

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Ragnarok]

Rags walks into the Cantina and orders some lunch. A good old fashioned grilled cheeze sandwhich with some fries and to top it off, A brewski. Rags sits down at his usual booth and devours his meal. He of course didn't eat the parts that included puke. Rags gulps down the rest of his drink and pays his tab. He walks over to GT and says, "Wow, I didn't think you'd find Talena cute at all." Rags then walks back out of the Cantina and Boards his massive dreadnaught and flies off to his homeworld.

[Growltigger]

Mlmbd, maybe I stand corrected by I always thought that chasing down old ladies was an excellent Saturday night tradition in Texas, along with boot throwing, cattle whomping and rubbing lard all over yourself.

Note to English people and other europeans planning to travel to the USA, avoid Texas at all costs, also avoid Cheyenne - Wyoming at all costs especially on Saturday nights as I have found, from painful personal experience, that pissing yourself laughing at everybody wearing lumberjack shirts, jeans, cowboy boots and stetsons on a Saturday night is a sure way to cause offence. Also suggesting that Shania Twain looks like she would provide a "tuppeny upright" is also guaranteed to have a cowboy boot land in your gob at a rapid rate of knots

[ January 28, 2003, 16:44: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[mlmbd]

GT, Mlmbd, maybe I stand corrected by I always thought that chasing down old ladies was an excellent Saturday night tradition in Texas, along with boot throwing, cattle whomping and rubbing lard all over yourself. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I've never chased an old lady (a female over the age of 65) down, on any day. No self respecting Texan would ever throw his/her boots. Now you got me on the cattle whomping and the rubbing lard all over yourself! But they are not actully 'Saturday night traditions'! They apply 24/7/365!

Avoid Texas at all cost. I had no idea you hated an entire state!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Growltigger]

OK, fair comment mlmbd, I dont hate the whole state of Texas, just the bits with Texans in them http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif , I am more of a fan of New Mexico and Arizona I must admit

[mlmbd]

GT, well I was born in 'Albuquerque, New Mexico'. I also like Arizona. 30 years ago I worked for Fred Harvey's in the 'Painted Desert' and the 'Grand Canyon'. Very beautiful country.

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Growltigger]

Yeah, not a bad place. I like Santa Fe, really nice town. I also like Flagstaff, very strange place but kind of like some of the smaller towns you get in Scotland.

Still think Canada has the edge....

[Desdinova]

Originally posted by growltigger:
Mlmbd, maybe I stand corrected by I always thought that chasing down old ladies was an excellent Saturday night tradition in Texas, along with boot throwing, cattle whomping and rubbing lard all over yourself.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The Cities (DFW, San Antonio, Austin and Houston) are a little more civilized. they tend to have the usual misdeeds as other cities. Actually its the small town you have to watch out for, the smaller the town the more careful you need to be.
You never know completely for sure who is related to who or in what way. plus they have the strangest customs in some cases. but in defense if Texas i will say you can find a little bit of everything here.
the one thing i didnt like about living in San Antonio was to get anywhere out side of Texas (except to Mexico) you had to travel forever. Once you made it out of Texas your trip was half way over. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
edit> also if you dont like the weather give it 10mn and it will change.

edit2> next time Y'all mosey on down this way, stop in and sit a spell.

[ January 28, 2003, 19:25: Message edited by: desdinova ]

[Kamog]

No self respecting Texan would ever throw his/her boots.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sometimes it's good to take off your shoe and throw it... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[couslee]

George Bush is not anti-environment. He just love Texas so much, he wants the whole world to look like it.

Texas brings back very fond memories. the top two are "the day I got there" and "the 3 days I left"

Isn't that Cow tipping? not whomping

how do you tip a cow? give it a dollar.
*****************************
Walks over to the counter and tell the spinning person there "coffee, large and black". He tosses a $2 track coin on the counter, takes the cup of cold mud, and goes to a booth and sits down.

[mlmbd]

Kamog, Sometimes it's good to take off your shoe and throw it... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Your shoe's, OK! But not your Boots!

Gryphin, yes Sir. I worked at the Yavaphi Lodge and the El Tavor in the Grand Canyon. I was dinner cook at the El Tavor, and I ran the kitchen at the Yavaphi. Was there in the late 60's. You wintered at Fred Harvey's?

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[ January 29, 2003, 15:49: Message edited by: mlmbd ]

[Gryphin]

Few things
mlmbd: Fred Harvy? really, I worked at the Grand Canyon from July 78 to April 79. I left just as they were laying the concrette for the McDonalds outside of the park.

GT: Um what is "tuppeny upright" ?
Next time you go to Texas, visit the land around El Paso, Auston or San Antonio.

"The sun has ris and the sun has set and I'm not outa Texas yet"
If the Devil owned both Texas and *ell he would live in Texas and rent out *ell."

At the battle of Sanjansento the heroic General Sam Houston captured the Mexican army that out numbered him 10 to 1. What they don't tell you is the Mexican army was taking a siesta at the time.

< Lived in Houston for about 5 years of my youth. My backyard was 20 square miles of forrest and overgrown farmland. >

[ January 29, 2003, 12:45: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Kamog]

Who is Kylie? Is she pretty?

[Growltigger]

Kamog, "Kylie" is a reference to that delectable, petite, Australian chantruese "Kylie Minogue". A small antipodean singer who is the original chuckabout

Yes, she is very pretty, but possibly her greatest asset is her rump, which connossieurs in England consider should be declared an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty or which the more die-hard afficionados think should be declared a World Heritage Sight.

If I knew how to attach documents to this post, I would send you a copy of my screensaver

[primitive]

Originally posted by Kamog:
Who is Kylie? Is she pretty?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh Yeah, she’s pretty.

She also has this “sex-kitten” image, which make us all believe she would be available (if we just met her).

And she’s very small, 1.53 (don’t know what that’s in feet and inches).

And she does some movements with her hip that would be really interesting to experience.

--- primitive dreams of the day RD delivers his pair of gigantic Kylies.

[Growltigger]

She is also apparently extremely good at playing Scrabble. I would love the opportunity to play (with) her, as I would spend the whole time trying to get really rude and sexually explicit words on the triple score boxes and see how see reacts....

Anyway, Primitive, what do you mean that she has this "sex kitten" image which implies she would get off with us if she met us?? she is mine http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif when she sang "can't get you out of my head", she was singing about me, she just doesn't know it yet

[primitive]

she is mine http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif when she sang "can't get you out of my head", she was singing about me, she just doesn't know it yet[/QB]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh, I’m sorry, I had no idea.
And the doctors are really nice guys Tigga, the needle won’t hurt you at all.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[dogscoff]

If I knew how to attach documents to this post, I would send you a copy of my screensaver
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If I had a broadband link I'd share with you all my extensive collection of Kylie videos in mpg format, including (but by no means limited to):
-The infamous lingerie advert ('nuff said)
-"Spinning around" (The one with the hotpants, oh yes)
-"Kylie & Robbie Williams: Kids" (Great if you can ignore him)
-"Kylie & Nick Cave: Where the Wild Roses Grow" - fairly sexy, in a necrotic kind of a way. I still can't watch it without thinking of the Shire Horses' Version.
-Her latest one (can't remember the name of the song) where there are about 6 kylies all dancing down the street together. That's enough for my imagination. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
-"Can't get you out of my head" with that... uhh... garment. You know, the one only held on by nipple-tape...

I might be persuaded to send out a few CDs with the above data on, if ppl speak to me nicely enough=-)

Oh, before you all start to accuse me of some kind of unhealthy fascination, I have dozens of music videos by other artists as well. It's not *all* Kylie.

Finally, I propose a new facility for the religious tech tree: The Kylie Shrine. Females worshipping at this shrine exhibit with miraculous arse-improvement effects, boosting happiness and reproduction system-wide.

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
[QUOTE]
Finally, I propose a new facility for the religious tech tree: The Kylie Shrine. Females worshipping at this shrine exhibit with miraculous arse-improvement effects, boosting happiness and reproduction system-wide.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hey hey, where do I sign up the current Mrs GT for this one??

and Primitive, I dont think you have ever been the quarry in a GT inspired cantina chase. That remark will get you a leading role and no mistake

and Dogscoff, what does the current Mrs Dogscoff have to say about your unhealthy fascination with La Belle du Australie? I get slapped everytime I growl when Kylie is on TV

[ January 30, 2003, 11:13: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[David E. Gervais]

Don't know who Kylie is? See what all the fuss is about!!

Lookie Here! (http://www.kylie.com/)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ...and you're welcome for the link!

[ January 30, 2003, 11:26: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[primitive]

QUOTE]
and Primitive, I dont think you have ever been the quarry in a GT inspired cantina chase. That remark will get you a leading role and no mistake
[/QUOTE]

Cantina chase ?
Like in unprovoked and sadistic violence ?

No, it couldn’t be that, not in a nice place like the cantina.
Or could it ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

Well, Guess I find out soon enough.

[Growltigger]

Primitive turns round at the sound of a hunting horn being blown for all its worth, the cantina kitchen doors burst open and there is an armour plated Barry the T-Rex, mounted by Growltigga, backed by the fierce thematic armies of Byzantine killer mongooses, a possee of FBW's, 12 Eminem clones holding chain saws, a passel of Hollywood B List celebrities, Lisa Kudrow, all band members from Madness, Earth Wind & Fire and The Goombay Dance Band and 60 fierce pen wielding lunatic auditors.......

Primitive, you have a 20 second head start, we suggest you run

Oh yeah, and when you click on David Gervais' link, then click on the Love Kylie link for a wonderful picture of what she looked like coming into my bedroom Last weekend (yes, I had been drinking)

[ January 30, 2003, 12:05: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[mottlee]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
*Dogscoff joins the chase at 'Tigga's side, his contribution to the pack consisting of 1500 shrimp micro-ninja and four knife-wielding teletubbies, the latter having been locked in a small room for months on end, tortured and subjected to endless slasher movies until they are all mindless, homicidal animals.

*Dipsy, barely constrained by his gimp suit and Dogscoff's cattle prod, snarls and slavers viciously in Primitive's direction.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">mottlee puts foot out as they round to corner of the bar! (hehehe)

[primitive]

So the dog and the cat together. Strange place this cantina.

primitive decides to call his own friends.
Oh wait, he doesn’t have any (probably that milk-money thingy).

Luckily he had chosen the lucky race trait before entering the cantina, and the mighty (but very badly designed) army of the carnivores start to disintegrate.

- Barry finds pieces of Puke on the floor and starts to nibble on that.
- The killer mongoose gets into a fight with 1500 shrimp micro-ninja.
- Seeing primitives masculine body, the FBW's loses all thoughts of violence and offer themselves up for fornication instead.
- The Eminem clones holding chain saws turn on their most hated adversaries, themselves/each other.
- The Hollywood B List celebrities see a blinking light bulb, and lines up hoping to get their picture taken.
- As always, Lisa Kudrow doesn’t have a clue of what’s going on.
- The 60 fierce pen wielding lunatic auditors, starts bothering all the other patrons in the cantina.
- The band members from Madness, Earth Wind & Fire and The Goombay Dance Band starts recording a new song: Our House is a Boogie Wonderland under the Sun Of Jamaica.
- That leaves only four knife-wielding teletubbies facing primitive.

Primitive picks up his small incinerator beam VI and shoot at the tubbies. They pop like popcorn, leaving more tasty titbits for Barry to eat.

[Growltigger]

But Primitive completely forgets Growltigga and Dogscoff who dive on the hapless Norwegian and proceed to give him a bloody good kicking.

Afterwards, and after taking an arm and a leg each, GT and El Scoffo carry the prone Scandinavian to the cantina doors, out into the carpark and then finally throw him into the cesspit.

Gryphin, Kylie is mine and dont you forget it. She does not like facial hair on men

[dogscoff]

Afterwards, and after taking an arm and a leg each, GT and El Scoffo carry the prone Scandinavian to the cantina doors, out into the carpark and then finally throw him into the cesspit.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Having thrown out (most of) primitive, Dogscoff debates whether to have his arm and leg mounted as trophies or whether to pass them onto the kitchen staff. The he has an even better idea and has them surgically grafted onto his own body. With three legs he can now kick 2 people in the arse at once without falling over, while simultaeously drinking, fondling an FBW and scratching his balls. Perfect.

[Growltigger]

"Ha ha" yells GT, "that'll show Primitive for being derisory about Barry and the killer mongoose horde, that'll also learn him for having bad Eurovision song contest entries too"

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff is busy inventing a new form of three handed juggling, involving 6 balls and an fbw with no bra.

[primitive]

Hobbling back into the Cantina, primitive is truly disappointed. The stupendously legendary GT and the almost as legendary Dogscoff obviously wouldn’t waste their best shots on a mere newbie.

Well, there is always next time.

Primitive offers Growltigga and Dogscoff a drink on his Tab.

Dogscoff: You can keep the arm and the leg. The leg is very clumsy and suffers from very bad case of athlete’s foot (feet) . And to be honest, the arm is a wanker and you will have problems just scratching your balls with it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[dogscoff]

Hobbling back into the Cantina, primitive is truly disappointed. The stupendously legendary GT and the almost as legendary Dogscoff obviously wouldn’t waste their best shots on a mere newbie.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Newbie or not, you were a worthy opponent.

*D gratefully accepts a drink from Primitive.

[primitive]

Enjoy the drink dogscoff.
Sorry I killed your four knife-wielding teletubbies. I send over some new ones for you to train.

By the way. How can tell when your teletubbies become mindless ?
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

[Growltigger]

Growltigga enjoys his free drink from Primitive, "aah" says the heroic cat, "they just dont make wine like they did back in 1963, these 10,000 mineral bottles are rather nice".

You were a worthy opponent Primitive, much better than the usual riff rags we have in here. Still doesn't hide the fact though that Norway has had some appalling Eurovision song contest entries

Nil point anyone?

Hey Scoffo, we havn't had a battle for quite a few months, if I am going to be General Alexius Comnenus, General of the Byzantine Army, Slayer of the Turks, Conqueror of the Mongols, Vanquisher of the Golden Horde, Warlord of the East and Mr Numbnuts to you, who do you want to be this week?

As I recall, you were Genghis Scoff Last week.

[ January 30, 2003, 15:54: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[dogscoff]

By the way. How can tell when your teletubbies become mindless ?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL!

Primitive: To honour a heroic foe, I offer you a small tribute- your very own 300 foot long genetically enhaced giant battlesquid. They make fantastic bodyguards and even better seafood. Enjoy.

[primitive]

GT:
You actually watch the Eurovision song contest ?
It takes a special kind of person to admit to such perversities.

And the Tab for the wine; No problema, that’s just 10 000 more kids without any milk-money.

Dogscoff:
Nice, a 300 foot long genetically enhaced giant battlesquid. I always wanted one of those.

[Growltigger]

Primitive, yeah, sometimes I do watch the Eurovision song contest, it makes me laugh out loud to see some of the pap that people produce, and it is always a great opportunity to see a cross-dressing Israelis, Serbs or Turks.

You should try it, invite a few mates round, make sure you have loads of pizzas and tons of beer, and prepare to have hysterics at the entries.....

And as my tribute to a worthy foe and opponent, please feel free to borrow my Kylie clone for half and hour, just dont involve the squid

[dogscoff]

I too confess to having watched Eurovision. It's great fun with a few beers and an international crowd of spectators.

I remember a few years ago convincing some visiting Canadian students that they really had to watch it, and that it was the surest way to understand the European mentality. The poor fools turned up with pens and papers, ready to take notes. Oh how we laughed...

[David E. Gervais]

..I walk into the Cantina and notice a bit of clean-up going on in the background. hmm, guess I missed a bit of action! I walk up to the bar and tell Taz I'm in a great mood, so I'm buying a round for the house.

I'm moving into the 'Digital-age' on Monday (having Digital-Cable service installed and have pre-ordered the 'full' package.) I'm also buying a brand new 27" JVC TV to enjoy this new toy on! It's going to be a long weekend, I guess I'll have to watch a few DVD's to hold me over!

Cheers! all, Have a Great Day.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar finally pulls up to the devastation that is the cantina. The byzantine hoards still have a certain dislike to rd after he played golf with a foot long baguette and some villager (abdul was it?). But they suddenly see the plus side of friendship when they see the genetically modified (extra hormones) female mongooses, sure they may have a night of fun but the cunning bit is the morning after and they are extremely moody! He wheels an extra large crate into the cantina and stops by the big norweigian who is varnishing his club.*

"Order for Mr Babarian? You would a Mr Primitive Barbarian wouldn't you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ? Right i have your two kylie clones here, you wanted them taller, hmm i'm sure you don't mind i extended their legs a bit, no i'm sure you don't. Ok sign here please!"

*Primitive gladly signs the contract and walks off with the two kylie minogue clones. RD smiles and buys a nice bottle of wine for his girlfriend on primitives tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *

[ January 30, 2003, 19:06: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[primitive]

primitive pays Mr. Deathstar with the Last of his money, and studies his pair of gigantic Kylie clones.
Even with the added bulk, RD had somehow managed to put them in the same size golden hotpants as the original Kylie.

That sight truly counts as one of the great wonders of the universe, and how they got into those pants must now be counted among the greatest mysteries of all time.

Thank You very much RD, this must be your finest work yet. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

primitive orders another round for everyone in the cantina and with the help of the Kylie clones and his giant squid he leaves the cantina to have his arm and his leg regrown.

Everyone is so preoccupied with watcing the golden hotpant show (Strange noices can even be heard from Dogscoff when he tries to control his extra arm), so nobody notices that primitive hasn't paid his Tab. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mlmbd]

*mlmbd offers Mr Primitive Barbarian a name and address to have his limbs replaced. Noticing RD's delivery of the Kyle clone's to Primitive. *mlmbd wonders if RD could clone...........naugh. Well, maybe he could. No, he probably can't! Sure wish he could though!*

GT, Dogscoff; I had no idea you would let Mr Primitive Barbarian off so easily. You guys must be getting 'old'! mlmbd mentions; smirking, chuckling to himself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Ragnarok]

"That sight truly counts as one of the great wonders of the universe, and how they got into those pants must now be counted among the greatest mysteries of all time."

Reminds me of a pickup line I heard once.
Guy- "Hey baby, those pants look super tight. How do you get into them?"
Lady- "Well, for starters you can buy me a drink." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ January 30, 2003, 21:10: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[primitive]

Primitive turns round at the sound of a hunting horn being blown for all its worth, the cantina kitchen doors burst open and there is Groltigga mounted on an extinct dinosaur, A pack of small rodents follows, then some scantly clad women, and then some has-been actors and musicians. Nothing to worry about.

Wait, behind them follows 60 fierce pen wielding lunatic auditors. This is truly a sight to fear. Had primitive had anything to audit he would have been nervous, but as he gets all his money from bullying milk-money from school-kids, he relaxes.

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by primitive:
Primitive turns round at the sound of a hunting horn being blown for all its worth, the cantina kitchen doors burst open and there is Groltigga mounted on an extinct dinosaur, A pack of small rodents follows, then some scantly clad women, and then some has-been actors and musicians. Nothing to worry about.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Right, the simple minded Norwegian has gone to far, Barry is certainly not extinct as you will find when he bites your damn leg off, the killer mongooses DO NOT LIKE being referred to as rodents, and as each of them is about 4 feet high, armoured plated to the hit, be-fanged, be-weaponed and mean to boot, it is now personal and you do not even want to know what the Goombay dance band can do to you with a set of cymbals!!

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff joins the chase at 'Tigga's side, his contribution to the pack consisting of 1500 shrimp micro-ninja and four knife-wielding teletubbies, the latter having been locked in a small room for months on end, tortured and subjected to endless slasher movies until they are all mindless, homicidal animals.

*Dipsy, barely constrained by his gimp suit and Dogscoff's cattle prod, snarls and slavers viciously in Primitive's direction.

[ January 30, 2003, 12:28: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Gryphin]

Gentlemen, (and I use the term loosely, I'm sorry to inform you but Kylie Minogue" is alwready claimed by Pooh Star and by extension Me.
Maby someone can make a clone of her. Perhaps a FBW Kylie look a like clone?
Just an idea since she is alwready staying with Pooh Star and me.

[Gryphin]

< Drats Double post >

[ January 30, 2003, 12:32: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Growltigger]

Barry roars with rage, Growltigga borrows Primitive's rusty (yet pointy) spear, climbs on board Barry and blows his hunting horn, the Byzantine killer horde of killer mongooses (refreshed yet moddy after a night with the "girls") marshalls up behind GT, the FBW's grab frying pans and take their places, Lisa Kudrow tunes into reality long enough to get a set of nutcrackers, the Goombay Danceband (clutching bits of wood with 6 inch nails driven through them) form up, along with a screaming horde of very angry Bedouin and Berber camel riders, waving scimitars and screaming revenge for the bread orientated assualt on their freind, Abdul.... 1500 micro ninja shrimp swarm in on the flanks....

Growltigga directs Barry to stand over the cowering mlmbd. "Listen short stuff, Primitive showed elan and esprit de corps when pursued by the hunt, he was verily rewarded for such pluckiness (and also cos you have to be nice to Norwegians cos no-one else is)... you, on the other hand, are a nasty little north american who claims me and El Scoffo are getting old..... you have a ten second head start and this time, it is personal"

TALLLLLYYYYYYY HHHOOOOOOOO

[primitive]

Mottlee:
I missed that you tripped Dogscoff during the chaos Yesterday.

Originally posted by mottlee:
mottlee puts foot out as they round to corner of the bar! (hehehe)[/QB]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am truly grateful that you took my side against the frightful carnivores. May you be duly rewarded for your courage. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Growltigger]

Thanks for the info Primitive, I missed that too, Mottlee, you have a 10 second head start.... you better make it good

Growltigga blows his hunting horn again and the reinforcements arrive, vicious killer raccoons mounted on velociraptors led by a leather clad Kylie clone sweep into the fore to pursue Mottlee...

[mlmbd]

Oh, HI all. *mlmbd reaches in his coat pocket and removes the explosives from the bomb he disarmed. I thought this pLastic might come in handy. Placing a bLasting cape with primer and a mercury switch (removed from his other pocket) pushes into the pLastic. 2 sec fuse, ought to do it. mlmbd then tosses the pLastic into the middle of the horde. *ducking behind a piller* counts, one......two..... the bLasts shakes the ground. He peers around the pillar to see; GT complete dismembered, the 'horde' strewn in pieces all the way to the front door of the 'Cantina', Barry in 6 different piesces he can see with everything else just pieces he can not quite make out. OPS, mlmbd murmers. Did I do all that?

as mlmbd again returns to his seat, he flings a card over to GT, that has the address of the Dr. he gave to primitive. | saying: GT, not all Yanks or Texans are stupid, Your Lordship!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Growltigger]

The dismembered left arm of Growltigga presses the switch of the "5 second travel back in time" machine which GT, knowing that mlmbd would revert to type and blow everything up, sensibly held onto too.

The horde reappears and mlmbd craps himself as Barry grabs him and proceeds to shake him. The rest of the horde dive in and cartoon style, a whirlwind appears with bits of mlmbd appearing out of it every now and then, to be dragged backed into the kerfuffle by GT, Barry, killer mongooses, the Goombay danceband, arab warriors or on one humourous occassion, Lisa Kudrow.

The tumult subsides and mlmbd is left lieing in a bruised battered and bleeding heap, with a rusty (yet pointy) spear stuffed up his arse...

Remember the Alamo GT cries

[mlmbd]

mlmbd, realizing that he travel back in time with everyone else reaches in he pockets and recreates the divice from just a few seconds earlier. tossing it at GT. *Splat* right onto the "5 second travel back in time" machine which GT has. One....Two....BLAM!! Again 'all' of GT's and himself are strewn all over the 'Cantina'. Along with 1000's of pieces from the "5 second travel back in time" machine.

I do Remember the Alamo says <font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Growltigger]

But mlmbd is forgetful that the Great GT is protected by a powerful field which precludes any second attempt at time travel. THe bLast of fire indicating that this shield has worked confuses mlmbd, who thinks GT has disintegrated. He hasn't in fact he is behind mlmbd and is holding the dreaded red hot poker hand cannon...

A full magazine is fired, and mlmbd can be seen, eyes boggling, and steam coming out of his back passage, GT whistles and Barry, dressed up like a kicker from the Tampa Braves, comes charging up and boots mlmbd out through the roof of the cantina, and into the upper levels of the ionosphere

Hey everybody, shouts GT, look a shooting star

Awwww, ain't that sweet

mlmbd, remember george bush

[Gryphin]

GT I'm sure you will be blase about th knowledge that we have given up on the killey chick.
We have decided to accept Shania Twain's offer to move in with us.

[mlmbd]

*mlmbd just returns to his seat. He decides to just watch the chase of Mottlee by; the Byzantine killer horde of killer mongooses (refreshed yet moddy after a night with the "girls") marshalls up behind GT, the FBW's grab frying pans and take their places, Lisa Kudrow tunes into reality long enough to get a set of nutcrackers, the Goombay Danceband (clutching bits of wood with 6 inch nails driven through them) form up, along with a screaming horde of very angry Bedouin and Berber camel riders, waving scimitars and screaming revenge for the bread orientated assualt on their freind, Abdul.... 1500 micro ninja shrimp swarm in on the flanks....*

Ah..........

This ought to be interesting! *mlmbd thinks to himself*

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[primitive]

Eeh,
mlmbd
Check out GT’s previous post, you may not want to relax to much.

And thank you for the address, my new limbs are beautiful.

[Growltigger]

Mlmbd, read further down old boy. Mottlee is being primarily pursued by the Kylie-led velociraptor horde, YOU are the target for the GT led slavering army of blood thirsty killer entities hot for your bloode...

prepare to be dismembered and in certain cases, eaten alive

TALLLLLYYYYYYY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[mlmbd]

But mlmbd is forgetful that the Great GT is protected by a powerful field which precludes any second attempt at time travel. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I came back with you. So, it is not a second attempt!. But you make the rules, SO!

*mlmbd is very glad that he has airborne training. | mlmbd searches for the pack in front of him. OK! he says to himself. Pulls the cord! Puf, the parachute opens. He guides himself, landing in the 'Cantina' parking lot!*

*mlmbd, enters the 'Cantina'* GT, hey; that was a great fun, your Lordship! *mlmbd exclaims, smiling* You ought to submit that Euro Disney as a 'A' ticket ride! *mlmbd remarks*

GT, Hey everybody, shouts GT, look a shooting star <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ah, go on. Thanks, but I'm not that famous! mlmbd, remember george bush <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh, I do. Both of them!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[F Te antKe]

I have lurked long enough. Hello guys and every other being. It is nice to meet you, (I hope).
Does anyone sell a device to protect a girl from cartoon violence? I have my own devices to protect me from the denizens.

[Raging Deadstar]

Hey F Te antKe, I believe that people like GT and myself are quite the *cough* corteous gentlemen and will leave girls safe from cartoon violence. Of course watch out for that Ragnarok, yes he's a wiley/horny fellow and will try any old trick to get one up on a patron (Joking Rags http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )

As for devices to deal with the other patrons i'd be quite interested to what these are, and are they as lethal as the red hot poker cannon wielded by Growltigga??

Also if your interested i offer a nice cloning service in which i abduct celebrities or just about anyone and clone them so you can use them for bodyguards, henchmen, love toys and anything else really! the cost is 2000 minerals and access to your tab, what do you say http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Wheres timstone at the moment, Last i heard rags scratched his ship with his keys http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif maybe he's getting a new paintjob?

[Ruatha]

Originally posted by F Te antKe:
I have lurked long enough. Hello guys and every other being. It is nice to meet you, (I hope).
Does anyone sell a device to protect a girl from cartoon violence? I have my own devices to protect me from the denizens.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hi.
Please stop by this poll and vote.
It's the first post in the thread.
Poll on the variety of SE4 players (http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=007635;p=5)

[primitive]

primitive enters the cantina together with his 2 gigantic Kylie clones after a long day of bullying milk-money from kids.
Looking like his old brutish self, except that his new arm and leg has a pinkish color, instead of his custumary gritty tan.

He sees a beautiful ( Egyptian ? Elfish ?) lady at the bar and walk over to her while the 2 gigantic Kylie-clones walks over to RDs table.

" Eeh lady."
" Yes." The stunning beauty looks coldly at the Barbarian.
" I hear you are interested in some protection."
" Maybe."
" Well, for just a tiny fee of a few thousand minerals a month, I can almost certainly guarantee that You will not experience what Mr. Deathstar is experiencing right now."

Over at RDs table, the 2 gigantic Kylie's are handeling out huge amounts of cartoon violence. Setting RD on fire, beating RD with with gigantic hammers, putting RD's fingers in the electrical outlet, and so on.

" But why are they doing that," asks the lady" Isn't RD their creator."
" He is, " answers the brute." But RD played a very cruel joke on them.
It's those golden hot-pants you see. They don't come off. When RD resized Kylie he also made the hot-pants an integrated part of the Kylie's bodies, and now they are terribly constipated."

"And you ?" The gorgeous lady ask the barbarian.
" I have to admit I was disappointed Last night, but the future is looking brighter by the minute."
primitive inces himself closer to the lady.
" Can I buy you a drink ?"

Meanwhile at RDs table.
His body caught in a gigantic mousetrap, and with smaller mousetraps on all his smaller appendixes, RD finally gives up and promises to fix the hot-pants problem free of charge.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar picks himself up and decides that he must do what he has to do. He orders the two Kylie clones to follow him and he takes them back to his ship. Primitive watches outside as he can see the windows lighting up in RD's ship, large grinding and hammer noises can be heard and eventually when the suns gone down Raging Deadstar returns. Flanked by two Talena Atfield and Jytt Hyden Clones (dressed in short black dresses and carrying lethal looking staffs) the two kylie clones walk over to primitive and link their arms under his.*

Hmm must have been a design flaw, they are fixed and they also have some new tricks, let me demonstrate!

*Primitive eyes widen in anticipation when he is promptly thrown to the ground and held down by the two kylie clones. Also Primitives giant 300 foot long genetically enhaced giant battlesquid wlaks over and holds primitive down*

"Ahh you didn't read the contract, when signing you gave your battlesquid over to me! I increased Kylies strength as well Mr Primitive Barbarian, now lets see how you like my friends, how will i put it, newly aquired flexibility?"

*The two Klie clones, with the aid of the 300 foot long genetically enhaced giant battlesquid begin to put Primitive in yoga positions, the cracking and popping of Primitives bones and joints can be heard around the cantina, but primitive as a barbarian should, holds back his tears and screams*

"Now my norweigan friend, lets see how you enjoy my two bodyguards methods of protection!"

*Talena and Jytt pull out a jumpstart lead and a portable electric powered whisk. In a censored scene Jytt attaches the jumpstart leads to Primitives nipples and Knocks on the thermonuclear generator. Primitive is electrocuted but still he refuses to scream or cry. So RD pulls out his Last idea. As The battlesquid and Kylie hold down the barbarian so he is bending over Talena sticks the electric whisk where the sun don't shine and knocks it on. The resulting scream can be heard around the surrounding area and Primitive shakes violently and cries. Seeing this Raging Deadstar lets primitive go and orders the two Kylie clones to take him upstairs and show him a good time. They carry the defeated Barbarian up the stairs along with some massage oil and some ointment for his behind*

Now go and "test drive" the new kylie clones out Primitive, and remember. "You must go and train with a wise master, paint a fence!"

[F Te antKe]

primitive,

1) Don't decide what I am going to do
Correcting History > Barely glances at this thing
2) Don't speak for me, I have a voice and a superb vocabulary.
Correcting History >
"Eeh lady"
Actual Response > Total silence
" I hear you are interested in some protection."
More silence
" Well, for just a tiny fee of a few thousand minerals a month, I can almost certainly guarantee that You will not experience what Mr. Deathstar is experiencing right now."
Response > Disdainful bemused look,
Are you threatening me? Is that an ultimatum? If so it is a decidedly serious miscalculation.
" But why are they doing that," asks the lady" Isn't RD their creator."
Correcting history >
Actual Response > Total silence.
"primitive inces himself closer to the lady."
As you move closer a stiletto appears out of no where and is pointed at your heart.
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." True, but their pelts sell for a good price on a certain planet. Are you a weasel?
Looks up briefly as primitive is dragged away. Too bad, I was just getting to like him.
primitive, come on over and have a seat when you are done. I'm sure we will get along just fine.
I'll buy my own drink thanks.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar walks back in after giving Primitive a good old english beating. He walks over to the bar and orders himself a fizzy orange juice, being as he is a non-alcholic ( http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Gasp!) He also buys himself a brewski and pours it into a vial to feed his plants with, the plants he some day thought he would unleash on a handful of the government. He then notices a young woman by the bar, the likes of which hasn't happened since, well ever! Taking note from Primitives advances RD Smiles to himself and opens his mouth!*

"That was great how you handled Primitive. I laughed quite hard there. You said you've been lurking, how long for? Oh if you havn't been here often heres a card..."

*Raging Deadstar is promptly slammed against the bar with a stilleto aimed at his throat*

"(Choking sound)No I'm not trying to....chat you..up! Look on...the....back!(Yet more choking noises)"

*The young lady, or F Te antKe if she prefers turns the card over and reads it*

Rules Of the Cantina
1. Buy drinks on anyones but your tab
2. Insult Growltigga and prepare for a chase
3. Watch out for gryphin aka the Boston Sex fiend
4. For free Avatars, ask David Gervais
5. Cloaking Devices don't work in the Cantina
6. Don't say Onions, Carrots, in fact just don't mention vegetables
7. Cartoon Violence is a must
8. Don't play golf with flaming baguettes with abdul the villager (i'm guilty of this one)

"Theres plenty more but i can't remember them! Oh for the hilarious way you dealt with primitive i offer you a free clone of your choice. Anyone in the world and he/she/it is yours."

*Raging Deadstar waves good bye nursing his throat and heads for his dreadnought, there were some members of his molerat army that needed training*

[primitive]

Primitive comes downstairs again after some hours absence. He has left the 2 Kylie clones and the battlesquid to sleep off their exhaustion.

This must be the best day of his life. RDs unorthodox treatment has cured his long-term backproblem, and the Kylies had been fantastic.

He only has one slight problem, his memory of his conversation with the beautiful lady is somewhat blury. There seems to be 2 Versions of their conversation (Could someone have used a temporal shifter on him?).

Never one to give up easy, primitive walks over to the Lady's table. The quick draw of a stilletto, makes it clear once and for all which Version of the conversation that's for real.

Well, at least I don't have to buy her drinks.

[Raging Deadstar]

Hey primitive, glad to see your in order, though how an electric whisk up the rear back passage cures back pains i don't know! Lol

Buy a drink on my tab, but no expensive bottles of champagne please, i'm not falling for that trick again!

[David E. Gervais]

..I walk into the Cantina and sit at my usual table next to the fake window with the fake rain that gently splashes on the glass creating a soothing sound. I quickly order an Ameretto di Sarono on the rocks and give the Kylie Clone waitress a generous tip... "Be careful, the full moon is fast approaching!"..

I notice a new face in the crowd, I believe I heard someone whisper her name.. 'F Te antKe' I raise my glass and nod in her direction thinking.. {..a woman who can hold her own in here and with an extensive vocabulary to boot!.. I like her already!}

I hand one of the Kylie clone waitresses a note to give to her.. it simply says.."Hi, if you'd like a nice new avatar pic, feel free to browse my emporium or put in a request. Cheers!"

..I lean back and relaxe my eyes exhale long and deeply and let the tension from a tiring day seep away.

Cheers!

[ February 02, 2003, 20:59: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[F Te antKe]

Primitive,
Please come on over and have a seat. I like the way you take a beating. It is very impressive. Don’t mind the stiletto. It won’t hurt you.
Takes the card from RD as he is slammed against the bar by an invisible force and a stiletto appears suddenly floating a millimeter from his throat. This is one weird place. Needless to say that is not something I did. No one here will ever post what I will do after I made it very clear to primitive,
“1) Don't decide what I am going to do”.

Thanks for the card RD. I had pretty much picked up on the “Rules of Engagement” for the Cantina.
About #3. Why?
As for number #7, It may be a must for you macho testosterone driven guys. You may ask primitive. My stiletto speaks for me.
No need to hurry off. Please have a seat.

Accepts the note from the Kylie clone waitresses > A lingering calculating gaze assesses the gentleman near the phau window > Inverts the note > Taking out the stiletto > Writes “Thank you for the generous offer. Please feel free to join me at this table. I won’t let these other entities interfere in your relaxation”.

Sends the note back to its origins and Orders a dry chardoney from Earth circa 1992 from the Kylie clone waitresses

[David E. Gervais]

..after reading the note from FTeK I open up my portable portfolio and do a quick scan.. Satisfied with the results, I walk over to her table. "Hi TeK, it's good to meet you. Do you mind if I call you TeK?" while waiting for a response, I activate my portfolio and slide it over for inspection..

1042544770.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042544770.gif)
1042389371.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042389371.gif)
1041080604.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1041080604.gif)
1040132512.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1040132512.gif)
1040132533.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1040132533.gif)
1040043313.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1040043313.gif)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042544770.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042389371.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1041080604.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1040132512.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1040132533.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1040043313.gif

..these are the results of a quick scan of my avatar portfolio, if you see one you like just feel free to use it. (fyi the links above the pictures are in the same order that they are displayed below!) Perhaps you have a suggestion for a custom avatar? I'm usually pretty quick on the draw and get requests done in a matter of hours (minutes if I happen to be Online when you make the request!) "Can I buy you a drink? Or have you had your fill for the day?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

..I lean back in my chair,relax, and slip back into 'lurk mode'.. giving you a chance to browse the portfolio..

[ February 03, 2003, 02:20: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
We have decided to accept Shania Twain's offer to move in with us.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Gryphin, that don't impress me much..

Hey everybody, there is some new blart in the cantina. Thank god for the fairer sex, an old misogynistic feline like myself was getting a bit tired at gazing at the rest of your faces....

[David E. Gervais]

..while I was in here yesterday I took some pics of the 'different' waitresses..

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044291021.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044291035.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044291050.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044291063.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044291111.gif

.. now I forget which one served me? hmmm I guess I'll have to tip them all!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Now that is the sort of quintiple vision I want when drunk

Nice one Mr Gervais

[F Te antKe]

Mr. Gervais,
You may call me anything you like. Thank you for the offer to purchase my drink. I’ll buy my own thanks. > Hands a card with a complex string of Earth Standard chemical symbols on it to a passing FBW and asks that it be delivered in a stainless steel carafe >
As for the avatar, thank you again. While you currently perceive me as an Earth Standard Attractive female where I come from gender as you know it does not exist. The form I have now would be found only in the monster section of young one’s book.
At your leisure if you could be so kind, I would be delighted to if you could come up with a “non corporeal” image. You know how they do that shimmer thing with transporters in that Earth movie Star Trek?

mlmbd,
No need to be so formal. a simple "Hello" is quite suffiicent. Quite a cute custom buying drinks for other people. I'm sure it has nothing to do with any aspirations on anyones part/s. Certainly I hope non of you have asperations on any of my parts.

Growltigger,
Please, do have a seat, there is plenty of room here. Could you ask one of the FBW’s to bring a rag over to clean up the slobber?
I promise if you don’t offer to buy me a drink I won’t show you “Happenstance” my stiletto.

[David E. Gervais]

Hello TeK, I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. Here are a couple of 'non-corporeal' avatar images I created for you. Let me know what you think.

1044299909.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044299909.gif)
1044299924.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044299924.gif)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044299909.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044299924.gif

Cheers!

P.S. please call me David, "Mr. Gervais" makes me feel old for some reason! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ February 03, 2003, 19:28: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by F Te antKe:

Growltigger,
Could you ask one of the FBW’s to bring a rag over to clean up the slobber?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well well well, my nickname just happens to be Rags. I'll get that mess cleaned up for you right away. Nice stiletto you got there. I wouldn't want to tick him off in any way.
*Rags finishes cleaning up the mess and continues the conversation*
Now that I got this mess cleaned up. Let me buy... I mean, welcome to the Cantina. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[primitive]

Primitive is watching the mysterious lady from across the room. She looks different now, sort of shimmering. Must be some sort of advanced technology involved here.

Just looking at her stir up all types of unusual emotions:
- He loves the way she handles herself, her sharp tounge and the quick draw of the stiletto.
- And the fact that she buys her own drinks.
- And the feeling he gets from seeing the other patrons of the cantina drooling over her, it's that jalousy.
- And the “don’t tell me what to say” attitude clearly reminds primitive of his ex-wife.
- But “use finesse not force”, that's just plain stupid.
- And what is this beating she’s talking about ? It was clearly a draw.

primitives stomach is all queasy.
Could this be true love at Last , or had there been pieces of Puke in the food he’s been eating ?

To much brooding gives primitive a headache, so he picks up his rusty (yet pointy) spear and goes for his round of milk-money collecting. Today he is doing the kinder gardens.

[Gryphin]

Sex Fiend? Why thank you.

[F Te antKe]

Sure David,
Waiting? you are doing something for me. And you did it very well. I like how the image seems to undulate. They will be jealous back home.
As for your age, well don't feel bad. I came to be while this galaxy was still a glimmer in The One's eye.

Ragamuffin dear, you are ever so kind but you missed a spot, > points to microscopic molecules of saliva with Happenstance. Tapps the table impatiently. Thank you deary for the welcome and you caught yourself in mid sentence that is just so adorable. You learn fast, do pull up a stool when you are done.

Oh primi babes, yes you with the rusty pointy thing, (you do know how to use that don't you?), you can leave the kinder kids alone today. Here is little gift from me to you. > Thumbs / Signs over a card with enough credits on it to Last him a year if he is moderate.

[mottlee]

HEY! HEY! fresh....oops new blood http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Gryphin]

The nation of Iraq is up for bid on ebay
< caution there may be pop ups >
http://www.idg.net/go.cgi?id=783889

[ February 03, 2003, 15:05: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Ragnarok]

Well, I like to think I learn quick.
*Rags pulls out a handy wipe and finishes cleaning up the mess.*
Is that better?
*Rags dismisses himself to take care of a few matters. Once he is finished he walks back up to the table that TeK is sitting at. He pulls himself up a stool and orders a double shot of Taluskian Whiskey to help calm the food down that he ate but a few hours ago.
So TeK, what brings you to this part of the galaxy?

[mlmbd]

*mlmbd notices a gathering over at one of the tables* He walks over to see just what all the comotion is. Ah, no wonder everyone in the place is standing around, drooling all over themselves. A female. A quite attractive female. He also notices the stiletto. A very attractive female, that knows how to take care of herself. Even more interesting. Now that might be worth droling over! *mlmbd thinks to himself, but thinks better of it*

F Te antKe; Hello, your Highness! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is 'mlmbd'. Very glad to make your acquaintance. If you would like a drink, please feel free to put it on my tab. If you wish! *mlmbd bows his head, and walks over to the bar to order a Guiness Stout from Taz. That is indeed one exciting lady, he thinks to himself!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[ February 03, 2003, 13:00: Message edited by: mlmbd ]

[F Te antKe]

What brought me here? You decide >
One > I heard about you guys via the intra - galactic light beam > could not believe it > came to take a look for myself.
Two > I made an *** of myself > decided to take a long vacation > may never go back.
Three > I heard about your charms > thought I would come see for myself
Lazily flips Happenstance up in the air and catches Him while watching the new meat walk in the door.
Four > Ended up on the wrong arm of the law > had to run for it
Five > Was transporting “stuff” for certain “entities” > was intercepted > had to unload the cargo in space > said entities are looking for me.

[David E. Gervais]

gee TeK, I thought that you came because my reputation for creating Avatars piqued your curiosity! oops, sorry, my ego is suffering delusions of grandeur again! But seroiusly I was hoping that the outer rim of the galaxy would have caught wind of me by now. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

BTW: I like your choice for the avatar, I added the translucent eye on a second pass because I thought it invoked both a sureal and non-corporeal feel. I must say it looks good on you.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Ragnarok]

Well well TeK, I must say that you are obviously one bad girl/or whatever specie you are on your homeworld. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
*Rags takes a sip of his drink.*
It also sounds like you lead a very interesting life style. I must say though, you picked one of the hottest spots in the galaxy. It's no wonder that you heard about this place from your side of the universe.
Well I must say that I hate to end this wonderful conversation we've had. Not much of one but it has been fun. I must be going now. We'll catch ya on the flip side.
*Rags stands up and nods his head towards the young lady. He turns around and walks out the Cantina and Boards his massive dreadnaught. He engages the engines and flies off at ludicris speeds.

[Growltigger]

Typical North Americans, show them an ameniable girl and they are suddenly "over there", "over sexed" and "overpaid"...

Hey everybody, check out Mr Gervais and Rags drooling over this new lass... laugh? my socks are getting wet again!

[David E. Gervais]

hmm, it sounds like Gt might be a wee bit jealous. (I'd be careful if I were you Gt, Jealousy is born from 'posessive ownership' and that is bad place to go!) As for drooling, I suffer constant dry-mouth, so that is highly unlikely! ..and you forget my goal in this forum is to invade it with my army of avatars, the fact that you are immune to my avatar influence doesn't mean I'm gonna abandon my invasion! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Cheers!

p.s. in fact I think I feel a minor flood of avatars comming soon. I have to keep the flow going or the invasion will come to an abrupt stop, and we wouldn't want that would we? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[F Te antKe]

Eyes the Fancy > Flaudulent > Fearless > Foolish > Fantastic > Fallacious > Factoid Full > pant wetting > Feline
Hello big fella, come on over and pull up a seat after you change.
Is that a baseball bat in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Gryphin
She sounds like a smart woman but I’m safe. I won’t tell if you don’t. You aren’t one of them kitty whipped types are you?

Mlmbd,
Polite as you are they is no need to be loquacious. Please do come over an kneel if you would be more comfortable. > Drops a cushion on the floor

Ragamuffin deary, must you go so soon and so quickly? Was it something I said? > Gazes after the departing figure.

David I received an transmission from the folks back home. They are going to be putting your Avatars in a special museum so everyone can see them. You will become famous in more than one galaxy. Who knows, you might even be hired.

[Growltigger]

FT, hullo darling, that isn't a baseball bat in my pocket, it is a cricket bat, not quite as long but a lot more girth http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Apologies about the wet fur but you know these north american men just make me laugh with their chat-up techniques..

You need a nice European to show you a bit of savoire faire, va va voom and perhaps, if you are lucky, a bit of je ne se qua!

What does flaudulent mean anyhow?

[ February 04, 2003, 14:42: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[primitive]

Primitive refuses the gift of the credits. Collecting milk-money is his second most favoured past-time. Leaving the cantina he can be heard mumbling: Moderate, moderate, suggesting primitive be moderate, no-never-nope won’t ever happen, not moderate,……

GT:
It’s clearly a typo. Prolly means flatulent.

[F Te antKe]

GrowlTigga you are so eloquent. It means “full of hot air” in our communications medium. It just does not translate well into this one.

Baseball or cricket, as you know size does not matter. Why do you keep it in your pocket? That seems to be a strange custom. It is never necessary to apologize to me. I believe some of the chat ups are from Scandinavia? Is that not part of Europe? I am always lucky. I keep in mind that luck can be good or bad.

Primy babes, Happy Hunting but please don’t hurt them.

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by growltigger:
Mr Gervais, have you done an avatar for me yet?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">first I posted this in my avatar thread..

just in case Growltigga drops by due to his curiosity being peaked..

1041889621.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1041889621.gif)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1041889621.gif

Not much work here, GrowlTigga, your current avatar already looked great!

Cheers!

..then I posted this here (back on page 22+-)..

Growltigga, I found these photos in the universal archives under the heading "Leader of Legions".. Is this per chance You?

1042117686.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042117686.gif)
1042117699.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042117699.gif)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042117686.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042117699.gif

I'm not sure but I think they might be twins! The thought of two of you is enough to spark fear throughout the realms. It would also explain how you often appear to be in two places at once!

Note: I would usually post this sort of thing in my avatar thread, but felt that the fellow patrons of the Cantina should be made aware of my discovery and it's implications!

Cheers!

..and just now I scanned back in my avatar thread and found these as yet unclaimed pics..

1039305855.jpg (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1039305855.jpg)
1039305869.jpg (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1039305869.jpg)
1039305890.jpg (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1039305890.jpg)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1039305855.jpg http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1039305869.jpg http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1039305890.jpg

So what were you drinking on those days? lol

Cheers!

[Ragnarok]

Everyone in the Cantina are happily enjoying their respective meals and/or drinks when suddenly the Cantina begins to shake. As everyone gets up to look out into the parking lot they see a massive dreadnaught landing in the parking lotn. There is something different about this dreadnaught, something that no one can figure out. But then finally someone points out that this dreadnaught is much shinier, with a few extra weapons mounts and obviously a couple more engines for that extra get-away speed. All the patrons of the Cantina are still looking at the dreadnaught with inspired awe, never before have they seen such a awe imspiring ship in the lot.

After everyone stops drooling over the new ship they begin to wonder whos it is. So they wait a few more moments and the lift from underneath the ship begins to lower itself. After the smoke clears they see a tall figure walking towards the Cantina. As the figure comes closer they realize that it is Rags. Everyone sighs and mumbles to themselves something that cannot be repeated. They were hoping for someone more famous.

Rags opens the Cantina doors and steps inside. Before they door closer though he turns around and extends his arm towards the ship. He then presses a button and a beeping noise goes off indicating a alarm system for the ship. Rags then turns back to the Cantina and looks around the room, he notices alot more activity here ever since TeK came around.

Rags walks up to the bar and orders some food, he tells them he will be at his normal booth and says to bring the food whenever it is ready. Rags walks over to his booth and sits down. He slides into the corner of the booth and pulls out a instruction manual for the new ship. "How do I get those stupid headlights to work on this thing?" Rags mumbles to himself. He soon found his answer and put away the book. His food finally came around to his table and he proceeded to eat it. Once he was finished he scanned the room once more and noticed TeK looking at him. Rags put away his belongings and stepped over to TeKs table and said, "About the other night, it wasn't anything you said, I just had some...business...to take care of. If you look outside you can see what that business was. My old ship was getting beat up from all the action it has seen over the years. So I thought it was time for a new ship. And I found dandy. I name this dreadnaught the 'Naughtica, I think it was a fitting name, no?"
Rags feeling a little jetlagged from the long journey he just had to inbark on to get his new toy. He stands up once more and slides back into his booth and falls asleep.

[David E. Gervais]

F Te antKe, I have just spent a bit of time in the 'Archives of Lore' (the deeper most recesses of my inner neurons!) and found some interesting simularities between you and a local legend.

..the legend of Fa Tai Antkee "The Lady of Light" a non-corporeal being that is said to have visited our humble planet in times past. The records often refer to her as "Lady Aurora" it is also said that she liked to walk among the people and give them guidance. When she was among the people she used the name "Dawn" and explained that this was the closest translation to her real name.

I always find it strange when I find obscure references and they seem to 'fit' a current situation! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Even if the references only exist in my mind! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!

[Growltigger]

GrowlTigga you are so eloquent. It means “full of hot air” in our communications medium.

Oh, you mean "flatulent", I am not sure I like being referred to as full of hot air, I agree that I am prone to sophist guile, intellectual debate, conformist diatribe and occassional bouts of tyranny and extreme violence, but I am a lawyer and these just reflect my inner nature

Baseball or cricket, as you know size does not matter. Why do you keep it in your pocket?

I keep a cricket bat in my pocket just in case I need to assault Rags for any reason. GT takes out cricket bat and proceeds to ding Rags extremely hard round the head with it.

Scandinavia? Is that not part of Europe?

Technically yes, but only in the same way that England is part of Europe and many English would be offended to be called European. Me, I am a global denizen and proud of it to boot

I am always lucky. I keep in mind that luck can be good or bad.

Fair comment, I am kind of the same, when I am good I am damn good, when I am bad, I am even better

[Raging Deadstar]

*A battleship slowly enters the planets orbit. As it leaves the vacumn of space a rumbling riff begins to shake the entire vicinity. After a few seconds the large speakers on the battleship bursts into Kittie "What i Always wanted!" and proceed to give the surrounding area a bLast of good old metal music. The battleship now streams towards the cantina. Its black paintwork shines along with the pruple flame motif along the back half of the ship. The inertia dampners kick in and the ship pulls into the spare parking place. Alongside sits a brand new dreadnought, shining in the sunlight. Raging Deadstar clambers down from his ship and wanders over to barry the t-rex and parking valet, tips him and watches as barry proceeds to cock his leg on the side of the brand new dreadnought, with enough toxic potency to strip the brand new paintjob. RD walks into the cantina accompanied by his Talena Atfield clone bodyguard and some of his molerat army. Dressed in a black mesh top and bondage jeans he walks towards the bar and orders a nice orange juice and walks over to Ragnarok*

"Hey 'Ragamuffin' hows you? And you F Te antKe, i'm quite impressed, you got away with insulting the flatulant feline, of course we all know now that ragamuffin here is going to be chased on your behalf"

*The Horns sound in the distance and the byzantine hoards in the kitchen begin to assemble...*

If i were you rags i'd run from Growltigga before you feel the wrath of the red hot poker cannon

[Ragnarok]

Rags hears a god awful screeching noise coming from outside. He right away thinks, "Oh no! Not the paint job!" He gets up and rushes outside to find Barry just totally destroying his new ship and the paint job that came with it.
Rags walks up to Barry and scolds him for what he has done. He then asks who had him do it. Barry tells him that RD tipped him a good amount in order to bash the ship.
"I see," said Rags once he found out who did it. Rags then peeked in the Cantina window only to see RD inside sipping on his orange juice and seemingly having a grand ole time.
Rags thinks to himself, 'you'll pay for this RD, you'll pay...' Rags evily smiles to himself as he thinks of a plan.
Rags tips Barry even more then RD tipped him and Barry busts open the hood of RDs battleship. Rags peers inside to find exactly what he wants to see.
Rags fiddles with a few wires here and a few wires there. He puts some explosives and other items under the hood and hooks them up to the starter. When he is finished he shuts the hood. Rags puts some molerat poisen in the food canister that read 'food for molerats'.
He then walks back inside and sits back down at his booth. A evil grin crosses his face as he looks at RD. RD cannot help but wonder if good ole Rags is up to something.
Rags finishes his drink as he dozes back to sleep in his booth.
RD finishes up his drink and he walks back outside with his army of molerats and his Telena clone. He Boards his ship and starts it. RD is suprised that nothing has happened by now but he must think that Rags is not out for revenge after all. He begins to pull out but as he reaches 100 feet in altitute the ship lags real bad and all of a sudden the bottom of the ship is puller off the hull. Rags is inside the Cantina laughing his butt off when he sees this happen. Rags then begins the countdown.
"5...4...3...2...1..." just then a huge explosion is heard throughout the Cantina and surrounding areas. Rags looks outside once more to find RDs engine blown out of the ships hull. RD hasn't looked down yet so the ship is still staying in the air. (Cartoon rules) RDs makes the mistake of looking down and the rest of the ship falls to the surface. Rags walks out of the Cantina to meet a burnt RD who is still sitting in what is left of the Captains chair. Rags greets him and says, "What happened here RD? It looks like someone messed with your Battle cruiser. I guess you'll have to take that to get repaired eh?"

Rags continues to laugh as he Boards his ship and flies off.

[ February 04, 2003, 19:21: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[David E. Gervais]

..I'm always amazed at the serinity of the view when I make the trip from my universe to the Cantina.. During my Last trip here, I turned on the external cams on my ship and made a short clip.. (I then converted this clip into an avatar!) as a result I can show you the thought prevoking yet serine view of my voyage in.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044387075.gif

Now you know why I can be a bit wacky from time to time. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Cheers!

[mottlee]

Originally posted by David Gervais:
..I'm always amazed at the serinity of the view when I make the trip from my universe to the Cantina.. During my Last trip here, I turned on the external cams on my ship and made a short clip.. (I then converted this clip into an avatar!) as a result I can show you the thought prevoking yet serine view of my voyage in.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044387075.gif



Now you know why I can be a bit wacky from time to time. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Cheers!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Da*n FINE WORK!!!! (wish I could do that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif )

[ February 04, 2003, 20:21: Message edited by: mottlee ]

[mlmbd]

F Te antKe, Please do come over an kneel if you would be more comfortable. > Drops a cushion on the floor <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">in your 'Dreams', perhaps! I am disapointed that you find my linguistic form excessive/offencive. I do have a cure for the problem. I will cease and desist any further communications with you!

Enjoy, the 'Cantina'; "Your Highness!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[F Te antKe]

mlmbd, Well said. You are the first Man around here to stand up to me. I find it very thrilling. Please do have someone pull up a mans chair for you. I would be honored to have you at my table.

David, the museum back home will be very happy to display it as the centerpiece of the exhibit.

[Growltigger]

Mr Gervais, have you done an avatar for me yet?

[mlmbd]

F Te antKe, I buy people drinks to be friendly. Nothing more. As to being 'so formal' , I just have manners! Some Yanks have manners, no matter what his 'Lordship GT' thinks! Aspirations for your parts! Don't mistake extreme admiration with desire! You are quite a "Lady". As anyone can plainly see. I love/admire great beauty. Great beauty with and edge/attitude, even more! I love walking thru the 'Louvre' admiring the amazingly beautiful works there. However, I have no desire to own the 'Mona Lisa'.

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Gryphin]

Looks at foks droolling over the occupant of the table. Looks at GT soaking his socks
GrowlPissa just a few quesitons:
Have you checked wiht a doktor about this ladk of bladder control? Maybe there is something they can do for you.
What is your laundry bill like or do you just buy new. Then again maybe there is a market for your enhanced garmets.
How do the FBWs feel about this or are then "into" it?
I was just wondering.

Edit:
Waves to the new denizen of the dive
I'm under direct orders from Pooh Star to stay away form you. So welcome, enjoy.

[ February 04, 2003, 12:33: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[mlmbd]

Gryphin, only you would wonder if the FBW's are 'into' it! *mlmbd gryns*

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Gryphin]

mlmbd, I have my unusual interest. That is not one of them. Still if GT is into it I just wish he would practice it somewhere else. Those health inspectors will come back some day. If GT ann't gonna blow this joint well he better keep it clean.

[mlmbd]

F Te antKe, your "Your Highness". I am thrilled, you are thrilled. I will get my own chair, I have a favorite. And I share the honor of sitting at your table!

*mlmbd notices all the patrons of the 'Cantina' are looking at him very funny. Except for F Te antKe, of course. He is not sure just exactly what her gaze is all about. mlmbd grabs his favorite chair, drags it to a spot just short of F Te antKe's table. "Your Highness", he addresses F Te antKe; which side is your strength? |as mlmbd waits for a response from F Te antKe, he scans the 'Cantina', visually. Hump, very odd. mlmbd thinks to himself*

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[F Te antKe]

mlmbd dearrest, You are so sweet. In my natural form “side” as you understand it does not exist. For working purposes you could say I’m omni directional or if you prefer ambidextrous. > Takes out Happenstance and flips juggles him absently mindedly > If one watched closely it seemed almost fondly

David you really should visit home. I’m sure they would love to serve an artist of your caliber.

[ February 05, 2003, 03:23: Message edited by: F Te antKe ]

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by F Te antKe:
David you really should visit home. I’m sure they would love to serve an artist of your caliber.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'd love to visit 'home' but haven't a clue how to get there!

[Kamog]

Wow, we have beautiful FBW's here. Thank you for posting the pictures, David. I am especially attracted to this waitress:
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1044291111.gif
I wonder if she is single...

[Growltigger]

Kamog, that is Kylie Minogue and she is not single, she is with me (but just doesnt know it yet)....

The hordes are marshalling in the kitchen, the horns are crying and the army of bedouin warriors out to revenge the abusing of Abdul are gathering....

Be scared Rags, be very scared

[primitive]

A bad-tempered primitive enters the Cantina. The Kinder-garden kids on this planet are mean, just mean. His legs are covered with tiny bite-marks, and he smells horribly from the used diapers the little brats have been throwing at him.

He orders a drink, and sits down at his regular table to sulk.

Maybe watching a good chase will cheer him up ?

[Growltigger]

Oh dont worry Primitive, this chase will be a good one, and Rags will be hung, drawn and quartered and if he wants to find his happy sacks afterwards, he will have to look up a tree in Rutland

[primitive]

primitive feels better already. Sends a drink over to GT with the best wishes for a spectacular chase.

Serves Rags well for nagging hard-working barbarians just because they are late with their turns. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[mlmbd]

F Te antKe, your "Your Highness". I will sit with you to left! It has been quite sometime since I have been around a being of pure engery. So, forgive my negligence! *all that said. mlmbd moves his chair to the table and takes a sit*

> Takes out Happenstance and flips juggles him absently mindedly > If one watched closely it seemed almost fondly <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am supposing the 'him' reffered to here is me. You do have a certain way about you. From where I was, it felt affectionate. However, the flip juggle did not leave me to absent minded! I do hope you are not to dissapointed, "Your Highness". http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

*mlmbd settles back in his chair. Ah, a nice chase to start the day. Excellent. He orders drinks from one the FBW's and send them to GT, primitive and Kamog. Enjoy! *mlmbd shouts*

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[ February 05, 2003, 13:31: Message edited by: mlmbd ]

[F Te antKe]

mlmbd the "him" is Happenstance my stiletto. I have full respect for all beings.

[mlmbd]

F Te antKe, your "Your Highness". As I said, "from where I was, it felt affectionate". So, I was not wrong. Just slightly misguided!
I have full respect for all beings. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">As do I, "Your Highness". As do I!

*mlmbd settles back in his chair, once again. Ah, a chase to perk up the day. Most Excellent. He orders a round of drinks from one the FBW's and has them to the all the patrons. Enjoy, everyone! *mlmbd shouts*

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[ February 05, 2003, 13:56: Message edited by: mlmbd ]

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by F Te antKe:
mlmbd the "him" is Happenstance my stiletto. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">By stiletto, I assume we are not talking about a shoe are we?

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by primitive:

Serves Rags well for nagging hard-working barbarians just because they are late with their turns. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'll have you know htat I didn't do that. PBW automatically sends out a nag email to the Last 2 players that haven't uploaded their turns. I never nag no one I'm in a game with. Unless of course they missed a few turns in a row without letting me know where they were going. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

And I don't think I should be chased. Primitive has been chasing poor little kids for petes sake. Chase him! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[mlmbd]

GT, By stiletto, I assume we are not talking about a shoe are we? <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Correct! In this case stiletto is a slender dagger named "Happenstance".

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
[QUOTE]And I don't think I should be chased. Primitive has been chasing poor little kids for petes sake. Chase him! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">'Fraid not Rags, you are the quarry of the month and you shouild be happy to know that your tender parts are going to be removed with a rough piece of bamboo, will be freeze-dried, lacquered and used by the governor of Svalbard as novelty paperweights or even bait for Polar bears!

Mlmbd, I do happen to know that a stiletto is a slender dagger, I just preferred the image of that young lady slamming people round the knopf with a high heeled ladies' shoe!!

[F Te antKe]

mlmbd thank you for your assistance in this. I'm not able to post frequently. Excuse me I have to get something. > Leaves > Returns with a new holster like object on hip. With a slow smooth movement a womans shoe apears held by the toe in Teks hand > At the other end is a shiny long pointy metalic object where the heal should be > Infact it looks like a heal > Looks straight at GrolwTigga,
Any Questions?
> Casualy flips shoe in the air > catches it with ease.

[mottlee]

2475! ha! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by mottlee:
2475! ha! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That was so completly off topic. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Tigga, so when is this chase going to begin? Hopefully I can muster some strength up in order to give you a good chase. Or maybe for once beat you. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif I'm sure it won't happen though. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif But I should give more fighting then I usually do. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[primitive]

primitive listens in disbelief to the message from Rags.

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by primitive:

Serves Rags well for nagging hard-working barbarians just because they are late with their turns. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'll have you know htat I didn't do that. PBW automatically sends out a nag email to the Last 2 players that haven't uploaded their turns. I never nag no one I'm in a game with. Unless of course they missed a few turns in a row without letting me know where they were going. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

And I don't think I should be chased. Primitive has been chasing poor little kids for petes sake. Chase him! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">He had always believed Ragnarok to be a brave man, a true warrior, a beacon of righteousness which lights up the universe, a ......

Blaming a poor computer (Didn't know that, never been late before http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ), and then trying to put the chase on primitive.

primitives dissapointment is great, but his anger is greater. He grips his rusty (yet pointy) spear and goes to join GT in the chase.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*The cantina is still and normal, if it can ever be called normal, most the patrons are surrounded by the table belonging to F Te antKe. Ragnarok is sitting at his table, enjoying a brewski and waiting for his chase to begin. Over in the far corner, where the wall is hidden in shadow, hung Raging Deadstar, who is brooding evily and after revenge. He beckons Gt over and hands him a bottle of massage oil for his kylie clone*

*brood* Let me handle ragnarok *brood**brood*

*Growltigga nods and heads off for the upstairs bedrooms. Raging Deadstar climbs down from the rafters and wanders into the Kitchen.*

*rumble* *rag's drink begins to shake* *rumble*
*Raging Deadstar smashes through the door, dressed in his finest trenchcoat and holds his falming bagguette mounted upon an armoured plated barry. Behind him stand the Molerat armies of the Deadstar Continuum. Behind them are more molerats holding back genetically anne widdecomb/pot bellied pigs who havn't been fed for weeks. Behind that are a horde of old grandmas whom have been told ragnarok is their bingo announcer*

Halllloooooo

*Ragnarok runs for it as the Molerats open fire with their elvish bows and arrows, ragnarok is pepper sprayed by flaming arrows from above. Chasing after him the molerat armies hunt him down and then unleash the anne widdecomb pot bellied pigs who quickly catch up with ragnarok. He is tripped over and the pigs jump on top of him, nipping and biting him in the most sensitive areas (and the non comfortable sensation of having a snout stuck up your behind and sniffing) The armies of old women are then unleashed and raganarok emerges from the pigs, barely clothed when he notices the oncoming onslaught of old age pensioners. They stop and look at him, for he is modestly covering up his crown jewels and gasp loudly before beating raganrok with zimmerframes and handbags before one of them sits on top of him and, thankfully for the rest of the cantina this sight is obscured by the old womens cardigan, shows ragnarok her sagging cleverage. Ragnarok screams and runs towards barry hoping for mercy. He is promptly covered in liquid nitro and raging Deadstar swings his flaming baguette*

KABOOM!

*Ragnarok is blown through the cantina roof and lands outside, naked, burnt and confused for a bunch of japanese tourist to stop and takes photos of him, which are probably on their way to the police and e-bay very soon!*

*Raging Deadstar climbs off barry, buys himself an orange juice and watches as the stripping pensioner chasing rags towards his dreadnought, ragnarok can be seen climbing onto his ship, one hand gripping the door, the other covering his modesty and being pulled by the ankle back towards a night of *ahem* passion ragnarok will never forget!*

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Tou'che!

*Note to primitive, if you would like to fend the old women off you can serve his happysacks as bait for a polar bear, but i think the old women is a much worse punishment!*

[ February 05, 2003, 19:46: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

Ragnarok is hanging onto the bottom of his Dreadnaught - the 'Naughtica - with old wrinkled messes trying to drag him down for a night of passion, assuming that the old ladies can Last that long before their pace makers give out. He manages to pull out a control and he presses a couple buttons on it and out of the side of the 'Naughtica comes a long arm looking contraction and it pulls the rest of the Grandma's off Ragnarok and piles them neatly beside whats left of RDs ship. Rags finally climbs into the ship and makes it to the Captains room to change into a new uniform and prepare his revenge.

Rags comes walking onto the bridge in a full black outfit, pitch black hair, and black trenchcoat, and don't forget, it also comes complete with black contacts. He takes his stand in the back of the bridge and hails RD on his personal communications device. RD looks to see who it is but all he sees is a black figure in the shadows, he answers; "Hello?" obviously shaking in fear from what might be coming his way. Rags replies; "Why are you shaking RD? There is nothing to be afraid of...*Muhahahaha*"
RD begins to cry and he craps himself a couple times. RDs molerats come over and sniff his buttox region wondering what that god awful smell is. They can't figure it out so they rip his pants open and being to bite at RDs underwear. Although he doesn't have much on besides that leoperd print banana hammock.

Rags cuts the communication link and he leaves his ship. Before the bay doors close walking behind Ragnarok are some never before seen figures. On one side of Rags is a army of Pink Winged Potato Pixies armed to the teeth with 10" bazookas and numb-chucks. On the other side of Rags is a even larger army of Giant Battle Gophers (that say 'Nee!'.)

Rags busts the Cantina doors open to see RD sitting in the corner still shaking in fear and quite embarrassed that everyone knows that he wears leoperd print banana hammocks. Things get worse when he looks up to see Rags standing there with his combinded army of Pink Winged Potato Pixies and his Giant Battle Gophers (that say 'Nee!')

RD begins to flee the scene for he knows he is about to get whooped. But the Pixie's prove to be too fast for RD. They over come him and grab ahold of his shirt and hold him in the air. Rags gives them the nod and they flip him upside down, but there is nothing to hold on to... Or is there? The Pixies grab ahold of RDs twig-n-berries and hold him up in the air once more. Rags then gives the Giant Battle Gophers the signal and they begin to naw at RD until there is no flesh left on his arms and legs. Then the largest of the Battle Gophers approches from behing Rags and tells the Pixies to hold on the RDs legs now. They do so and the Battle Gopher yells, "JUDO CHOP!" in a high pitched voice that causes all in the Cantina to cover there ears. He then swiftly hits RD where it counts with his forearm that just so happened to be covered in spiked armor. Rags issues the command for the Pixies to drop RD and they go up even highed and drop him, just to make it hurt worse. Rags nods at all the patrons of the Cantina and turns around. As he walks away he says, "Yes indeed my good old friend, revenge is indeed very sweet." A evil grin crosses his face as he Boards the 'Naughtica.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Ragnarok laughs menacingly as he towers over raging deadstar and kicks him out of the cantina and onto the forecourt, to leave him to contemplate his whooping. Raging Deadstar crawls over to his demolished battlecruiser. He crawls over to the button entitled Laundry and climbs into his moveable chair. Hours later Raging Deadstar returns, dressed in his bondage jeans, black mesh top that shows his repaired physique (or lack of it in my case http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )He puts on his trenchcoat, installes the crosshair styled contacts and perfects his spikey ahirdo. He then pushes a button and a small transport hovers behind the wrecked battlecruiser. An army of gothic vampire girls walk out dressed in very revealing otufits, complete with fangs. Ragnarok smiles as Raging Deadstar kneels down before him, obviously expecting this army for him*

"Ok ragnarok you got me there, so let my friends here show you a good time!"

*Ragnarok is soon sitting on his chair being carressed by several vampire chicks and one of them keeps biting his neck gently. "Maybe" raganrok thinks. "Maybe i won for once?" Raging Deadstar gets up and winks at the girls who then tie raganrok to his seat. Ragnarok isn't sure if this is revenge or a kinky game as one girl keeps kissing his neck. He goes for the latter and enjoys the moments.*

*Suddenly two of the girls grab ragnaroks troUsers and pull them off, leaving him sitting there in his pink spandex y-fronts. He blushes but can't do anything about it, the girls then start to undo the campest sight known to the cantina. Most people look away in disgust as ragnarok covers his modesty with his shirt as the girls continue to show hima good time. Then Raging Deadstar pulls out a rabbit, a nice furry rabbit but it had evil red beady eyes. Wait, hadn't he seen that rabit before? Wasn't that the rabbit of monty python and the holy grail? Yes it was! Ragnarok squirms trying to escape as RD lets go of the rabbit and it makes a beline straight to his testes, ragnarok screams and tries to shake it off but the rabbit is hanging on for good. Then the vampire kissing rags neck bites and punctures ragnaroks main neck veins and blows. Leaving ragnaroks sore testicles to expand to the size of weather baloons, weather baloons with a rabid rabbit hanging from them. Raging Deadstar smiles evily and pulls out a Gravitational Hellbore and fires, causing ragnaroks happy sacks to implode to nothingness, probably the most excruitiating pain known to sentient species. Ragnarok is left to sit there with no wedding tackle and a rabit nibbling on the deflated skin*

[primitive]

primitive leans back in his seat, enjoying his drink and the spectacle.

The ultimate in pythonish weaponries are unleashed in the Cantina.

The killer rabbit VS The power of saying 'nee!'

Could this be the end of civilization as we know it.

[ February 05, 2003, 23:18: Message edited by: primitive ]

[David E. Gervais]

..I was doing a bit of clean-up of my hard drive and found this old poem I wrote a few years back. It's about an encounter in a bar, so I thought it would fit in here! Comments are welcome!

"The Encounter.."

Late afternoon on a warm day,
into a bar I make my way.
The dim lit room does soothe my eyes,
I sit right down and give a sigh.

I close my eyes and breath in deep,
and feel the tension from me seep.
It's good to finally relax,
after a day that did so tax.

Here I sit and sip my drink,
my thoughts do stir as I think.
I raise my glass up to the light,
and see you cross my line of sight.

I watch as you sit by the bar,
my eyes do scan you from afar.
A short black dress is your atire,
and your beauty sets me afire.

I see you raise your glass to lips,
and take a tiny little sip.
You cross your legs and shift your weight,
a move I sure apreciate.

I scan your legs from foot to thigh,
lick my lips and let out a sigh.
You turn your head yet unaware,
and catch me smiling as I stare.

You smile at me and I do blush,
as passion fills me with a rush.
You take your drink and head my way,
as you approach I watch you sway.

You raise your glass and take a sip,
and ask if I mind if you sit.
I gesture to the empty chair,
and welcome you into my lair.

We sit and chat for a long while,
you captivate me with your smile.
My charm and wit are what I use,
to send you all of the right clues.

Cheers!

[Growltigger]

Well if you want revenge for Rags nagging you, how'sa about I introduce you to this month's special offer relating to hunt victims... emasculation of the victim of your choice, with removed genitalia being ice packed and shipping by sea freight to the island destination of your choice, said genitalia to be sun-dried, cleaned, varnished and used by the respective island premier minister as a novelty paperwieght...

Do you think the premier of Svalbard would like that?

[primitive]

Nah,
Svalbard is not a good choice for 2 reasons.
1: No prime minister, just a governor.
2: No sun for sun-drying for another month or so.
Of course, Svalbard would be a good choice if we could freeze-dry instead, and use them as bait for polar-bears or something.

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by primitive:
Of course, Svalbard would be a good choice if we could freeze-dry instead, and use them as bait for polar-bears or something.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I like the sound of that, I really do

[Kamog]

Originally posted by growltigger:
Kamog, that is Kylie Minogue and she is not single, she is with me (but just doesnt know it yet)....<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's OK, I saw another waitress who is just as pretty! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

But now I understand why everybody is ordering Kylie clones...

[Ragnarok]

Primitive, I will deal with you shortly just so you know. Run, and be very afraid! <Insert Dr. evil laugh>

Back to the current battle...
*Rags is still sitting in the middle of the Cantina in what appears to be a horrible amount of pain. He manages to keep his happy sacks covered up so that nobody can see them to the best of his abilities; then suddenly Rags just burst out in extream laughter. RD looks at Rags perplexingly wondering why Rags was laughing after having his happy sacks blown up to the size of weather baloons and exploded with a helborn. RD begins to get a very worried look on his face and he says, "Rags, why laughing?! Why laughing?!" By now RD is just in a panic as he can't figure out why Rags is laughing so hard. Rags begins to roll on the floor ponding the tiling from laughing so hard.
Rags finally stands up and RD kind of looks around at everyone look at the two of them standing in the middle of the room. "Stop laughing!" RD exclaims, "Stop laughing! I mean it!"
Rags smiles and says, "You know the Last time this happened to GT? Well, I never wanted that to happen to me so I took some safty precautions. I made this inplant that goes just inside my theigh(sp?) that when it senses danger for my happy sacks his puts up a...protective shield I guess you would say. It prevents all weapons from being effective against my happysacks and it also makes sure they do not expand to the size of weather baloons. Then what blew up you ask? Well, this device does it all, it is able to replicate my happy sacks down to the smallest detail and anything that tries to hurt me will just hurt the fake replica. Thus no pain to me, and thus no victory for you." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif (One rule I've noticed is no big victories such as this are repeated because they never work the second time. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )
Durings this conversation Rags had managed to change back into yet another black uniform. Rags gathers his army of Pixies and Giant Battle Gophers and sends the Gophers out to find a bulldozer. About 15 minutes later the return with a monster of a dozer and they proceed to outfit the front of it with hundreds of spikes protruding out of it. The pixies tie RD up and place him against a metal wall and Rags jumps in the front seat of the dozer. He floors it and the spikes on the front of the dozer slam into the wall where RD was tied to. Rags backs off and RD falls down with dozens of holes all over his body.
Revenge is still sweet RD. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

As for you Primitive... I don't know what all I want to do with you yet but for one... I am going to do this... *Rags takes Primitives rusty (yet pointy) spear and flips it upside down and bangs it on the ground until the tip is duller then a country music performance. He craks the spear over his knee and hands it back to Primitive. "Here, I have made some minor adjustments to your now 'rusty (and very dull) spear. I hope you enjoy."

Rags slides into his booth once againt after a long day of fighting.

[primitive]

primitive watches Ragnaroks little “performance” with an amused smile on his lips.
Ragnarok has obviously no idea of the function of the runes his spear is covered with.

primitive pick up the two pieces of the spear, and places them on the table.
He puts his right arm on a tattoo looking much like the runes on the spear, which cover his hart. Humming the rune of undoing, while his left arm trace the rune over the spear, the spear is once again whole and pointy.

Smiling, primitive hums and traces another rune, the rune of retribution, and all the harm Ragnarok had inflicted on the spear is reflected back to him.

Ragnarok screams as his arms and legs snaps and his manhood is grinded to a dull point.

Going over to F Te antKes table, primitive finds the card RD left earlier with rules for the cantina and adds: 9 - Don’t f… with primitives rusty (yet pointy) spear.

Back at his own table, primitive decides he will not spoil RDs fun, and hums the rune of undoing again. A whimpering Ragnarok is then restored to his former “glory”.

To show he bears no grudge, primitive sends Rags a drink fitting of his new black costume. The cantina erupts in laughter as a FWB brings the ragged one a “Pink Loverboy” http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mlmbd]

Wow, all that, and cover chrage! That is amazing.

F Te antKe, your "Your Highness". You are most "Welcome". May I say, very nice, 'stiletto'! As part of a shoe, or not! Oooo, that would mean, you have a great......Decorum, prevents me from going further!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz, taking advantage of a slight lull the bar business, waves at F Te antKe and smiles at her. Hearts can be seen hovering over his head.

Seeing F Te antKe glancing his way, Taz's heart is actually seen beating in his chest and his smile becomes even wider. (Unfortunatly for the nearer customers as his eight inch canines can now be clearly seen!)

Taz wonders if, maybe, there is a chance...?

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar lies upon the floor, bleeding and defeated, ragnarok smiles, has he finally won a battle for once? Could raganrok really have lived up to his name? Raging Deadstar smiles evily, he thinks of using the technology he knows like the back of his hand. A bunch of molerats pick up raging deadstar and take him back to the transporter where he is implanted into a new body. He wanders back into the cantina pulling a large trolley, he unveils the trolley and their sits an Ionic Concussion BLaster and a Gravitational Condenser. He fires up the Ionic concussion bLaster and it zaps ragnarok in the stomach, raganrok feels instantly queasy with the build up of stellar gasses in his stomach. Raging Deadstar then fires the gravitational condenser and it closes ragnaroks mouth and behind. Raganrok looks scared, theres no where for the gas to escape! Ragnaroks eyes begin to expand when he explodes, leaving his entrails to fly across the room and land in various peoples drinks.*

[Ragnarok]

Ragnarok blows to a million pieces from RDs little plan. All but Rags head is no longer able to be recognized. Ragnarok not being from this world is able to live without the rest of his body. Many a year ago Ragnarok knew that he would come across some fights that would no doubt blow him to pieces so in the back of his mouth, one of his molars is really a fake tooth. Rags head just so happened to land on Primitives rusty (yet point yet again) spear and Primitive is walking around like he managed to defeat Ragnarok, when indeed it was RD that did it. Rags shouts out; "RD! Are you going to let Primitive take the credit and glory from this battle?" RD ponders the question a little bit while Rags takes his tongue and flips the switch on that fake molar. Instantly his head is transported to the 'Naughtica and installed onto a new body. Rags comes strolling in the Cantina once more and he cracks his neck trying to adjust to this new body. "Never can be too careful" he says while cracking his back.
Rags approaches Primitive and borrows his spear for a moment. Rags orders the Giant Battle Gophers to pin RD to the wall where the dart board is and they do so. RD is fighting to get free but it is to no avail. Rags exclaims, "How about a nice game of darts RD?" RDs faces turns into a look of horror as he knows what is about to take place. Rags steps back and takes the rusty (yet pointy) spear and jolts it towards RD as fast as he can. It misses. Rags goes and plucks the spear out of the wall and RD can't help but wet his pants a few times. Rags walks back to try again. He throws and this time he hits RD right in the stomach. RD whinces in pain and Rags walks back up, grabs ahold of the rusty (yet pointy) spear and twists and turns it before he takes it out. This goes on for a few more minutes and RD has holes in his stomach, shoulders, legs, forearms, and other areas. "You do know that rust is not good for a flesh wound right RD? You should really get those checked out." Rags smiles evily and he returns Primitives rusty (yet point) spear, before he hands it to Primitive he wipes it clean of the flesh and blood on the tip.
Rags orders the strongest drink in the house and opens it up, takes a very minute sip and tosses the rest onto RDs body. RD screams from the burning caused from the alcohol on the wounds and Rags simply smiles and walks to the other end of the bar.

[mlmbd]

WOW! And still no cover charge! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[David E. Gervais]

Into this thread I post a poem,
in hopes that interest would be shown.
But no one hears to my dismay,
they're all looking the other way.

All eyes are glued to watch the chase,
from the corners where they feel safe.
An entertaining chase it is,
but soon the action comes to fizz.

The din has died the air is still,
the show was good and it did thrill.
To let you know just what I think,
I buy the house a round of drinks.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[primitive]

Mlmbd suddenly notices that his feet don’t touch the floor anymore. With the tip of primitives rusty (we know this part now) spear hooked at the back of his collar, he finds himself dangling 3 feet above the floor. Being turned around by a strong arm he find himself face to face with the brutish looking barbarian.
- You not pay da cover charge ? You pay to primitive !
Mlmbd handles over 200 minerals and is dropped to the floor again.

A very satisfied primitive walk back to his table. This is much easier than collecting milk-money.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Is this what you wanted Mlmbd ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

BTW, great lurk-report this week.

[Ragnarok]

Nice poem David. I'll take that drink. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif I'll go cheap and order a Orange Juice. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif I'm not much for beer right now. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[primitive]

David,
primitive don't speaka da English language good enough to be a critic of poems.
But he to take that free drink. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
He also would like to know the rest of the story (another 5 or 6 verses perhaps ?). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[David E. Gervais]

With this verse..

Into this thread I post a poem,
in hopes that interest would be shown.
But no one hears to my dismay,
they're all looking the other way.

I was refering to the 'other' poem I posted called 'The Encounter'.. It got no reaction at all, (most likely due to the 'chase'!) it was just bad timing on my part. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[F Te antKe]

primi babes, does this mean you will accept 200 mins from me? If you don't take it I'll give it to David for his poetry.

[Ragnarok]

*Rags drinks the rest of his orange juice and orders some lunch to settle his stomach that is screaming for pain. He promtly recieves his food and gobbles it up like he hasn't eaten in years. He pays his tab and tips the waitress and Boards his ship to sleep.*

Oh and this is post Edit:2500, I know this isn't the same thread but hey, I can have this one can't I? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ February 07, 2003, 17:20: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[mlmbd]

primitive, Why yes, that will to do nicely!!

Thanks for the comment!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

ps; rags, that post 2500. Not 1500, but who's counting? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ February 07, 2003, 16:55: Message edited by: mlmbd ]

[Growltigger]

Growltigga walks into the cantina and whacks mlmbd, Raging Deadstar and Primitive each round the head with his trusty cricket bat just cos they are being daft buggers...

David Gervais gets a whallop on the rebound.

Rags gets a full underarm swing right into the happy sacks which, being catapulted through his flies out into a perfect parabola to land with a plop in F Te anKe's drink...

Have a good weekend y'all

Snigger snigger snigger snigger