Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Growltigga]

It is written in the Book of Cyril

"And lo, verily it is foretold that a new cantina will arise from the ashes liketh unto spring flowers after rain, that said cantina will be a place of peace and tranquility, of grand cuisine, pleasant company and decent ale, and any peasant drinking crappy American beer will have done to them what God did'eth unto the sodomites, and if they then mess with the fluffy bunny waitresses (who have been practicing their samba'ing on copacabana beach and getting tans) they will have done to them what the sodomites did to one another..."

From the Book of Gertrude

"And verily, utilising the financial and industrial might of Tigg-A PLC (traded on 4 separate bourse and darling of them all), a new Bar& Grill has arisen, phoenix-like, from the ashes of its predecessor, as good as it ever was and now inflammable and indestructible to boot"

And from the Book of Wandering About Inanely

"and in the month of Jeroboam, a weary traveller was wandering in the deserts south of Sarmatia to attend the consensus in the promised land..and came across an oasis of light in the desert.. the traveller was amazed at the quality of the food and beverage at 'Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill" and even more amazed that it was run by a large Tiger and a short sighted Gryphon.. and as for the resident all-girl Samba band.. "Yowser" thought the traveller..."

And from the CAMRA Beer Guide

"The landlords and cellar masters of Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill take pride in the qulaity of the ales they serve to their discerning patrons. No pissy American beer is allowed within 100 yards of the place and any shandy drinking lager-wusses are unceremoniously evicted before they can contaminate the locals. The beer is good, is extremely strong and for the opening month only, is completely free as apparently some bloke called Saxon is picking up the tab"

And from the Michelin Restaurant Guide.

"Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill is a true masterpiece of combining modern culinary practices and styles with a fusion of real world blends... before the, ahem, mishap, the Old Bar & Grill was famous for pizzas and chilli, these days, you are more likely to sit down to a dozen Pacific Oysters served Charentaise, followed by Pickled Eggs a la Morroccan rif and a side order of pork crackling in thai sauce.. and the poission a la greque served with pomme frites (calientes of course) with pureed petit pois is just fantastic - and as for the samba band!!!"

And from Entertainment Tonight

"If you are young, hip, cool or just looking for a good time, Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill is fantastic, it is the place to be and is as happening as anywhere in the galaxy..although judging by the floorshow, it should be possibly
be renamed Ye New Galactic Bare & Girls if you get my drift.. seriously, no place on the planet knows how to party on like this place... and dont be put off by the fact that a bird and a large Tiger appear to run the show.. these guys really now how to have a good time"

LADIES & GENTLEMEN, THE BAR IS OPEN, THE DRINKS ARE ON SAXON, THE FOOD IS ON THE SAMBA BAND.

ENJOY

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by The High Gryphin:
Spiffily clad in the new image of the New Ye Old Bar and Grill, (thanks to the personal designers employed by Tigg-A PLC), Scanning the new environs, Going over the new menu in my head, Thanking the wisdom of the Tigga for saving us from wussiy Ammerican beer. Checking the ballence on Saxons tab, Checking the Fluffy Bunnies new out fits, (I didn’t know it was possible to make them smaller), A moment of silence for the old place…..
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">and not looking in any way shape or form like a moustachioed Version of that Ferengi bar owner in Deep Space 9 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ July 08, 2002, 13:57: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[mac5732]

Dressed for the occasion, Mac strolls into the new cantina, aaahhhhh, refreshing place, he picks out a new table near the back wall, reclines in the new reclining table chairs and orders a cappachino. One of the Fluffy Bunnies, walks over and gives him a new menu, of course, mac, being of scientific mentality, does indeed notice the new fluffy bunnies outfits, most gratifying to see not everything has changed from the old place, in fact they appear even better then before he thinks to himself as he oogles the new outfits....

As he's reading the new menu, he observes not ONE BUT TWO Liz Hurly look-a-likes working within the establishment.... Oh my, Oh My, he says to himself as he downs more glycering pills, this is outstanding. Double the pleasure
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Mac reads the menu and sees that new cuesine section which includes the old Favorites of pizza, calzones and chili, but now includes Tesco
's and Puke's infamous Sauces, Steak, Various Sushi dishes, burgers & fries, Chips, and a number of new international dishes as well, In addition, he observes that international ales, beer etc have been added to the good old American brewskis and a new wine list... aaahhh, this is better then home.

He also notices a Tazmainian Devel working as a bartender behind the bar swirling & mixing drinks....

After placing his order for some bacon & eggs, orange juice and toast, Mac observes the new Cream Pie automatic dispenser, the automatic robo dog poo scouper, the new improved, exceeding large rose bushes outside the windows, the larger circle bar, the Auto Kat Scratcher in the far cornor, the Gryphin Toe Nail clipper Salon off the side aisle, the raised band platform and dancing area and next to the dance floor a brand new old fashion JUKEBOX with all kinds of tunes, oldies, rock, classic, blues, opera, and more along with a PopCorn Machine. oh my goodness this place is going to rooocccckkkk.

He also notices a very large sign above the entrance.... PLS CHECK IN ALL MECHANICAL/ORGANIC/OR OTHER TYPE WEAPONS AT THE WEAPONS CHECK IN COUNTER PRIOR TO ENTERING.... lot good that sign will do, he chuckles to himself. Mac's food arrives delivered by no less then both Liz Hurly look a likes, he engrosses himself amongst the cuesine and very outragesous sights.... (he also advises the bunnies to put the bill on the Saxon's tab) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Just some ideas Mac

[ July 08, 2002, 14:28: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Gryphin]

I forgot to mention,
I leave the simbiotic life form at the door. No stetsons, and no line dancing music.

[Trajan]

Realizing that he has to spend yet another day at his misrable job at a rapidly failing dotcom, Trajan runs into the bar; notices that it is cocktail hour somewhere; sits down on a comfortable new barstool; orders a bottle of the peatiest single malt Scotch available; toasts the earlier guests, the bartender and scantily clad wait staff then begins to drink himself blind.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

a large bottle of whisky is placed in front of Trajan with the compliments of the house.. a Liz Hurley-esque FBW is ordered to sit in Mac's lap and wriggle a bit and a large glass of Chablis (no one drinks Chardonnay any more!!) is handed to Gryphin....

the lights in the Cantina fade out, the curtains on the stage (cunningly installed in the side of the Cantina) open, the orchestra launches into the first few bars, a horde of sequined high kicking chorus girls run onto the stage from the wings and a giant staircase is lowered from ceiling.... with a flourish and a grin, and accompanied by two of the loveliest FBW to grace the planet, Growltigga, immaculate in his tailored dinner jacket, tails and tophat, twirling a cane and just looking the rat's nadgers, descends the stair, the crowd go wild and the first chorus of "I'm just a gigolo, and everywhere I go...." sounds over the Cantina...

happy days

[Gandalph]

News of the new cantina reaches Gandalph's ears. "Perhaps it's time to check out this social club of sorts", he thinks to himself. He casts a transport spell and finds himself sitting at a table in a dimly lit casual dining hall with music playing in the back. A fluffy bunny comes to his table to see what he wants. He orders a slice of pizza and an amber ale and thinks to himself, "This could be a nice place to let go once in a while."

[Gryphin]

Spiffily clad in the new image of the New Ye Old Bar and Grill, (thanks to the personal designers employed by Tigg-A PLC), Scanning the new environs, Going over the new menu in my head, Thanking the wisdom of the Tigga for saving us from wussiy Ammerican beer. Checking the ballence on Saxons tab, Checking the Fluffy Bunnies new out fits, (I didn’t know it was possible to make them smaller), A moment of silence for the old place…..

Life is Good,

[Puke]

Puke stumbles in from the VIP room and pulls up a bar stool.

"Saxon has a open tab? Spatten, then. The Optimator."

"What do you mean the old place burnt down, I've been in the VIP room with a FBW the whole time. Nope, I hadn't seen one in fetish-ware before either."

"Hmm, this place does look a bit remodled. Nice menu too, send over some of the habinjero stuffed olives."

"Yeah, thats my dreadnaught in the parking lot. Inertialess. Sweet little number, neh?"

[Fyron]

Fyron, not caring too much for "formal" clothing, just walked in with his normal clothes on. He sat next to Puke and said, "Hmm... those habinjero stuffed olives look good." He called over a FBW and ordered some.

[Spoo]

Spoo pokes his head in the door. "Hey, I don't know who's dreadnaught that it is out there, but it's being towed."

Spoo then notices the extra-sparkly dancers on stage and wanders towards a table hypnotized.

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Puke:
"What do you mean the old place burnt down, I've been in the VIP room with a FBW the whole time. Nope, I hadn't seen one in fetish-ware before either."
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hmmm.. Growltigga, dressed in his best dinner jacket and clutching his 30,000 volt tazer enema, sidles up to Puke and firmly but politely, reminds him that as is written in the Book of Cyril, anyone 'interfering' with a fluffy bunny waitress shall have done to them what the sodomites did to one another. Puke takes one look at the chaps behind the Growltigga who are holding a 6 foot wooden pole, a rasping file to get some wicked splinters, a tub of swarmfega and 2 sets of handcuffs and takes the very pointed hint.....

Fluffy bunny waitresses do not do fetish-ware on request

PS who'se is that dreadnought parked in the car park with that twin exhausts, flame motif down the side, fluffy dice hanging from the mirror, a strip across the windscreen saying "Puke" and "Anyone female" and a nodding dog in the back window?

[Growltigga]

Growltigga waves his hands in front of Spoo's vacant staring eyes and on getting no reaction, gives him a bottle of the locally brewed kinkapoo joy juice and leaves him to it.

Fyron get a double portion of the olives.

Can someone tell me what habanjeros are? they sound like some form of chili... I prefer olives stuffed with almonds

[Puke]

Taking another swig of his Spatten, Puke produces a crank-operated telephone and has the operator patch him into Fleet Command.

"Send a dropship of colonial chunklings over to the local wrecker lot to pickup Nausea-One. The dirty Texrak I paid to feed the meter must have skipped out."

Hey there Fyron, cheers. Heres to the first round.

[Growltigga]

Growltigga saunters up to a wobbly Puke and takes the "Spatten" off him.. whatever on earth it might be, it is obviously far too strong for El Projectile Vomito as he is having delusions about being some form of military leader as well as being invulnerable to nuclear missile strikes and the effect of a FBW in bondage gear

Growltigga informs Taz not to serve "Spatten" to anyone else in the Cantina and in particular, to limit Puke to cherryade until he has regained sanity.

[Puke]

Puke wabbles around on his bar stool to face the pompous cat, points a defiant finger at him, and suddenly realizes (upon consulting the label) that there were too many 'Ts' in his spaten. must have had one too many.

right, back to the olives then.

[Trajan]

Trajan scribbles a message on the back of a napkin and sends it via FBW to Tigga.

It reads:

Spaten is German Beer. Go to spatenusa.com and enjoy. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Cheers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

Cheers Trajan, Growltigga motions to Taz to reissue Spaten to all and sundry who wish to quaff said brew.

The cantina has absolutely no prohibition on service decent German beer (says Growltigga downing a couple of litres of DAB) so by way of apology, Growltigga orders bath of Spaten to be prepared and Puko to be lowered into it.

Bon appetite mes enfants

[mac5732]

Mac strolls into the parking lot after walking around a space shuttle which had just landed next to a Dreadnaught parked in the outback space parking lot area. He was shaking his head, a FBW asked his what the problem was, He told her those entities outside parked their shuttle right in the main aisle, they kept mumbling something about a cerated space jockey pilot, let alone the older couple yelling and complaining about the demise of their brand new, showroom, Deloreon that was apparantly parked underneathe the Dreadnaught... Oh well, he eyes the members in the cantina sees the Taz behind the bar humming or growling to himself mixing drinks, sees Puke enjoying some new type of brewski, what the heck, Taz bring me one of those sapaten thingyies that Puke is indulging himself in, he yells, as he locates himself upon one of the new plush cushioned, well padded bar seats.... hmmm the Taz sure appears to be enjoying his new job, just look at him taste the contents of each bottle he opens, just to make sure it was the real stuff and not some counterfit make up, what a devil, always looking out for the members well being, most gratifying... Oh Taz, how about a glass........

just some ideas mac

[Taz-in-Space]

{...Taz, totally enjoying the moment(and the liquid benefits of working behind the bar), serves Mac's order promptly in a tall FROSTED MUG.}
It's good Taz's can move like a whirlwind as the orders come fast and furious.
Taz also approves of the new costumes on the fluffy bunny waitresses. Wonder if they might like to get to know a Tasmanian lad better?! On off hours of course! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Only a day or so old and the new place is already
2 pages full!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
Welcome one and all - first months drinks are on Saxon, management's orders!

[Saxon]

Hey guys,

I am off to Ghana for two weeks. I will take the CD with me and see if I can set things up, but please be patient. Oh, I am paying for the drinks in Ghanaian cedies, so I have a suspicion that the management is going to tell anyone using my tab that they are getting nowhere.

[Growltigga]

Saxon, you can pay your tab in Ghanaian cedies, West African francs, Vietnamese dong, Thai Baht, Venezualan pobble beads or dingo's kidneys if you want to, the choice is yours but keep in mind the management reserve the right to take any shortfall in currency from your own person - think of Shylock, think Merchant of Venice

One of the FBW has already offered $100 for your happy sacks - she thinks they have some novelty value and will make her friends laugh

[mac5732]

Hey Saxon, have fun, enjoy yourself, Hey, are there any Gnus in Ghana??? Take care, be sure your battery is charged....

ps. don't worry about your tab, I'm sure the good members of the Cantina will take good care of it, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas mac

[TerranC]

*As TerranC comes to a pub to relax after a day of another packing, he sees a dreadnought being towed in vain. Shaking his head, he comes into the pub to find all sorts of shady characters that have taken on all types of personas and aliases. Shaking his head once again, TerranC calls upon to one of the waitresses and asks for some Molson Canadians, a Cheese with extra sauce pizza, and some celtic music if it happens to be available. As the Waitress takes down the order, a wierd fella in WW2 getup dashes in and pays the fee and says:

I'm sure the good members of the Cantina will take good care of it

TerranC once again shakes his head and sits down and enjoys his meal, and think that he is going to like it here...

Until an oversized cat smacks TerranC's head, causing him to become unconscious.*

[mac5732]

Good Ole Mac tip toes into the cantina, looks around, sees TerranC waves, goes over to his new table, orders several brewskis and a calzone from one of FBW, sits back and opens up his laptop.... As he cruises the net looking for scientific research theories on the furtherance of ones taste buds in the realms of various international sauces for Chilli, he comes upon a strange spam add... hmmm Have Gun Will Travel, boy is that a weird one, Mac contemplates to himself as he sips his Suds... We are still missing one of our members, what the hell and sends an e-mail, after which he empties his mug, Yells to the Taz, "Filler Up, You old Devil", and proceeds to surf the Liz Hurly Look a Like Web Sites while he relishes the taste of some of the new international brewskis, sliding smoothly down his gullet.... aaahhhh

a refreshed Mac

[Gryphin]

Stops by for a few minutes in the new place. Looks around to make sure the patrons are enjoying the band, the service and the brew. Makes very certain they treat the Waitresses nicely and tip Hughly! &lt; Looking directly at mac &gt;

By the way, Tips do not go on Saxons tab. Those are cash on the table.

[Gryphin]

Noticing that mac did not look up from his "lap top?" I stroll over to see what could be more important that Cantinna Policy.
Hmm, What is this add you are looking at?
"Have Gun, Will Travel"? Wonder why mac would be interested in that.

[Growltigga]

Growltigga points out to El Vomito that said Growltigga is in charge of security in the Cantina and therefore drunken Californian beer-wendy's are of valid concern to him..

Can someone tell me what on earth Spaten is? it sounds horribly organic to me

[PaladinOfEarth]

Outside a figure dressed in black with a pair of Colt 44's sitting in holsters at his hip, steps down from a small mean looking ship. It looks remotely like a Pegasis.

The holsters are eblazoned with a white night from a Staunton chess set.

Dropping the Reins over the railing he strides toward the door.

There is somthing panther like about him.

[ July 10, 2002, 01:09: Message edited by: PaladinOfEarth ]

[PaladinOfEarth]

Checking his guns at the door, he walks easily to a table in the shadows of the back.

[Gryphin]

Steps in, notices the stranger, Nods and heads over to the bar. Wonders where the bar keep is, Gets my own Stout

[Puke]

in the absence of the bartender, puke reaches across the bar and helps himself to a bottle of Macallan, carefully measuring out a glass and leaving a wad of bills on the bar.

producing a laptop, puke makes a wireless connection to the net and logs on to the Shrapnel forum, opens up the Cantina thread, and Posts. Reality flickers momentarily, and a well endowed FBW appears with a tray of snacks.

suddenly confronted with the terrifying reality that bunnies are actually endowed with a larger numerical quantity of mammaries than most cartoons would suggest, puke snaggs the tray of snacks, edits his post, and the FBW vanishes as suddenly as she came.

[ July 10, 2002, 04:20: Message edited by: Puke ]

[Taz-in-Space]

{Taz, returning from a quick trip to the storeroom, notices a Gryphin leaving the bar with his own beer. Taz knows that HE didn't serve this...so he writes down a note to GT about it}

Taz then scans the room for anything else out of place and notices a strange armed man in the shadows. No fool, this old devil will give this situation some time to unfold. {Where is that big Kat when you need him?} http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Taz then fills up Mac's mug again and wonders what is so interesting on that laptop? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

Nods to a FBW who's flashing hundred dollar bills for some reason... and resumes his position behind the bar.

Finds the bills left by Puke; rings up the sale and notes that at least some patrons pay cash! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ July 10, 2002, 04:27: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Gryphin]

Notes that Taz can't read,
"Checking his guns at the door, "

Um, Mr Growltigga is fully aware of my consumption. Tattle Tail.

[Taz-in-Space]

Taz notes that Stout on Saxon's tab and reminds the High Gryphin that the shadows ARE fairly thick over there where the stranger is. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/blush.gif
Taz then pulls a pair of ultraviolet goggles from under the bar and sees the man more clearly.
{what's that on the holsters? White nights? What does a moonlight night have to do with a chess set?} http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Growltigga]

Growltigga surveys the cantina and wonders who on earth the dark stranger in the shadows, packing the guns and with the white knights embalzoned on his buttocks is... maybe it is the evening cabaret arrived early but GT is sure that that was meant to be some buxsom lass who dances with a snake (no a real one, not Gryphin).

GT saunters over to the bar and requests a pint (imperial of course) of Spitfire Premium Kentish Ale from Taz - gives Taz rise, picks up TerranC from the floor and suggests gently to him that he wishes to drink crappy American beer, then it is reccomended that he vacate the Cantina and high-tail it (is that the right US phrase?) to the Redneck bar that has opened right over where Tigg-A PLC buried that huge tank of dogpoo El Scoffo was busy eating.. their chilli and coleslaw I have been told is to be reccomended (if you are a dog)

Growltigga also notices that Mac appears to have lost himself in his laptop and that the stranger and him look curiously familiar....

Growltigga waits for something to happen

[nippy the magical duck]

Nippy the Magical Duck goes up to the bar and asks the hairy drooling Australian thing serving behind the counter whether he has any bread....

[Growltigga]

Growltigga announces to the Cantina at large that
legal action for slander is being levied against that redneck peasant at the dogpoo bar down the road

He has dared to suggest that Shepherd Neame's Spitfire premiun Kentish ale is brewed anywhere OTHER than in Faversham and Canterbury in Kent, England.

Being England's oldest brewery (from 1698), Growltigga will respectfully point out that people from England would get a slap for suggesting this, which gives you an idea what will happen to an ignorant yokel from America

[Trajan]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Trajan runs into the Cantina spouting off about how his wife made him go see the broadway show, The Full Monty. And...it was...in fact...THE FULL MONTY! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Trajan grabs a comfy corner stool at the bar, and begins to wallow in misery after having seen big white pasty man butts in red g-strings.

While pleading with Taz to give him a double of Johnnie Walker Blue, Trajan takes a moment to regail the assembled patrons about the harrowing experience his wife made him go through.

--- The show is one of the funniest stage shows I have ever seen, and I HIGHLY recommend it. HOWEVER....you must be prepared to either close your eyes at the appropriate moments or except the fact that you are going to see things you would much rather not see...ever! "This aint no gym locker room!" It is the Full Monty. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

The audience was split approximately 70-30 women to men. Sitting as a sexual minority at a broadway show is nothing new. This is the status quo at most broadway shows...in my humble opinion. However, on some occasions the balance is REALLY in the fairer sex's favor.

I must learn to NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER allow myself to go see a show were there is the remotest possiblity of men dancing in red G-Strings again!

There are moments when the audience, female and male, are in tears because they are laughing so damned hard. I guess it is just too easy to make a fat man look and sound funny when he is practicing to be a stripper. There is not a lot of great dancing, but the singing is terriffic! Some of the gents in this show can really belt out a tune, and I would not be suprised to see them in many other Broadway shows.

If you are in Washington DC right about now, I recommend that you take your wife to this show (if there are tickets still available). Just drink a LOT of booze prior to going (let the wife drive) then go and enjoy the show. Remember though...close your eyes http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif at the right moment or else http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif .

---Having finished his tirade, Trajan sits back on the stool, eats some pretzels and waits for his drink.

[mac5732]

Fat men in red g-strings, You gotta be kidding,... my oh my, as Mac empties his bottle of glycerin tablets just thinking about it...., Fluffy Bunnies ok, but men in g-strings.. thats too much..... he mumbles to himself as he looks up from his laptop and orders a good strong orange juice along with his breakfast usual... then looks over at the tall dark stranger in outlandish western/space garb.. hmmm, no, no resemblence to me or anyone that I know...he mentaly remarks.... most peculiar... Hey Taz, thanks for the fill up, put it on Saxon's Tab as usual, Taz shakes his head, "no can do Mac, his tabs full and in receivership and collection",, hmmmm, mac looks around to see who isn't currently in the cantina..., put it on Fryon's tab then, Taz grins, shakes his countenence ok, scribbles it down and goes about his bar tending duties and filling out the help wanted questioneer for a female Taz Devil Fluffy Bunnie addition for the cantina.....yummmmmmmm he belchs out to himself with a very large carnivorous smile...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas mac

just some ideas mac

[tesco samoa]

Tesco wonders in.... still on vacation... but i will leave a clone here for a few days to drink german 500ml cans of beer like i was doing at the trailer. Thanks Rollo. My head hurt one morning.

[Growltigga]

In a proud and patriotic display of national zeal for the world's finest ales, Growltigga would like to point you toward both his favourite ale related web-site (www.shepherdneame.co.uk) and a picture of his favourite pub in the village he grew up in (http://www.shepherdneame.co.uk/pubs/pubs.php/ploughandharrow_bridge)

here is their advertising campaign from 1999 which is damn funny (http://www.shepherdneame.co.uk/humour/wallpaper1999/index.html)

Happiness is... decent beer that HAS NOT BEEN CARBONATED

[ July 10, 2002, 18:20: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Cylapse]

*laughs at the English/American comments* Ahhh, fooken Limeys. Always trying to water us down... So come on down, "Rank-Padding" at its best, alive and thriven in the Cantina! *winks* Where dental hygiene is completely optional!

[mac5732]

strange pub GT, it shows "dogs welcome" on bottom of disclaimer, strange place for a Kat to stop and have a brew or two http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

confused mac http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

[Spoo]

Spoo finishes his drink as the hypnotic trance passes. He looks around as if there was something he was trying to remember, but quickly forgets the concern when he sees the SEV arcade game calling him from the corner. As he nears the game he feels himslef stepping in to a temporal pocket; ah, the future. Spoo starts crying tears of joy as he selects his empire.

[tesco samoa]

mac check your email

[tesco samoa]

i found a nice picture of tigga on the net

http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/photo_closeups_pp2.htm

[Captain Kwok]

He's so graceful - just like a cat prancing around looking to be stroked...

[PaladinOfEarth]

:: Eyes tesco, Wonders what his life expectancey is ::

[Gryphin]

&lt; Looks at the picture proffered by tesco &gt;
In the first place:
tesco watcha doing at such a site?
In the second place:
tesco, have you had your eyes, (or your head examined recently?

[tesco samoa]

tesco does not like getting eyed by other poster. So tesco does the proper thing by placing viking helmet on his head and goes out on the patio, sits, opens bottle of creemore springs http://www.ftcpec.com/ and makes fun of other bar.

[PaladinOfEarth]

:: Walks up to Gryphin, Wonders what he is high on. Hands him my card ::
"Have Gun, Will Travel"
I am looking for a man by the name of "mac".
Please let him know I was here and that I will return.
Thank you most kindly,
Enjoy your night.
Bartender,
Put this mans next drink on my tab, Send the bill to Carlton Holtel, San Francico, Earth.

[Gryphin]

&lt; Looks up startled by the stranger, Impressed by the well spoken polite manners. Noting again the way he carried himself. &gt;
My pleasure Mr, Paladin. Please come back soon. Thanks for the drink.

[mac5732]

Tesco, a most worthy photo of a shrek look a like, however, I think a little too much hair on top http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif got your email, looking it over

As Mac closes his laptop, he looks around and sees the stranger walk over to the Gryphin and then return to his seat, Mac being the curious one in the cantina, decides to walk over and say howdy, maybe even buy the new member a brewski or two. As Mac walks up to the stranger, he notices that he is playing and talking to a small wooden chess set with white knights as logos. Excuse me good sir, I notice that you are new around here, may I buy you a drink, The stranger looks up, calls a FBW over, orders a brandy, pays for it himself and stars at Mac. Mac, unplused, trying to make conversation tries to break the ice, The stranger, his voice low and deep, almost like a growl, his eyes looking straight down into Macs soul, answers.. I'm looking for someone called Mac... At this Mac looks around for a quick escape and thinks to himself, oh oh, I think I'm in some deep s... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

a mac looking for a mac look-a-like very quickly

[ July 11, 2002, 04:20: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Growltigga]

Tesco, are you daft or what? (I know this is a relative question for a north american) - I only revert to my Shrek alter ego if it means I can get a quick knee trembler with Cameron Diaz..

The oly similarity between the person in your photo and me is that he is wearing green. Other than that, he has far too much hair and looks like a bit of a nancy boy to me...

Do you wish to explain why you are surfing the world-wide-web looking for pictures of fey looking pillow biters?

Mac, dogs are welcome in the Plough & Harrow but that is because Chris the Landlord is an entrepeneur and also runs a Korean restaurant in Canterbury that promises food so fresh you wouldn't know you were not in Pusan

Back to character, Growltigga finishes putting up sign in cantina saying "Dogs welcome (only on Korean cuisine night), rednecks are not welcome at all)

GT looks at the latest flash figures for Tigg-A PLC and notes that EBIT is up 250% from Last month on a like-for-like basis due to the strong demand for its products from the new redneck bar...."hmmmm if they only knew what we put into that Ol' Milwaukee to give it that jaundiced yellow look, and as for the grits we are supplying, when will they realise that that is Taz's dandruff"

Growltigga eyes Paladin nervously, wandering what is going to happen to Mac

[Rollo]

* Rollo staggers by the cantina. Notices tesco sitting outside with helmet on his head.

Cool, a convert http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif .

* Rollo orders a keg of Königpilsener to be brought to the patio. Joins tesco and starts singing Hans Albers songs.

[Growltigga]

Growltigga thinks to himself "buggeration, if you can't beat them, join them", he then puts on his Kaiser Wilhelm spiky helmet, grabs a plate of sauerkraut and knockwurst and a stein of DAB lager, and joins Rollo and Tesco on the patio, soon can be heard all three partaking in a wonderful party medley of old Scorpions songs and Wagner's Ring Cycle

[Rollo]

Hey, GT, glad you join us http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif .
That's a strange helmet you have there, isn't there one horn missing?

[ July 11, 2002, 10:23: Message edited by: Rollo ]

[Rollo]

BTW, as soon as the tiger starts singing Scorpions songs, Rollo slaps him with the flat side of his axe. (one nice thing that weapons don't get checked when sitting outside http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ).

Rollo sings: "Ein Wind weht von Süd und zieht mich hinaus auf See..."

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Rollo:
BTW, as soon as the tiger starts singing Scorpions songs, Rollo slaps him with the flat side of his axe. (one nice thing that weapons don't get checked when sitting outside http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ).
Rollo sings: "Ein Wind weht von Süd und zieht mich hinaus auf See..."<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tigga (dazed) points out to Rollo that the wind coming up from the south of the lake is probably something to do with Mac's digestive system given his predelection for fried breakfasts and calzones

As Scorpions songs are out of order, Tigga launches into rousing choruses of Germany's finest contributions to modern music, primarily being "neunzig neun rote ballons", "mein hamster kratzt in meiner hose", "mein hovercraft ist voll von aalen" and "ich liebe große brüste". He then proceeds to serenade everyone on the patio with every German eurovision song contest entry for the Last 20 years

[Rollo]

re wind: Eww, you might be right. And I thought that smell came over from the redneck place...

re eurovision songs: Rollo sings along with great enthusiasm to "Wadde hadde dudeda" and "Gildo hat euch lieb", but as GT starts "Ein bißchen Frieden" Rollo chokes and sprays beer through his nose all over the patio.

[Growltigga]

Well, I would not dream of commenting on your taste in music...

I do think that the lass you had singing in Last year's contest had a really cracking voice (and a
really große brüste)

Growltigga waits till Rollo is spitting beer out of his nose and then launches in a quick medley of Michael Schenker's finest

[DirectorTsaarx]

Director Tsaarx steps out of his time machine, having returned from the aftermath of GT's Last "eurovision party" and charges him with one count of indecent exposure and two counts of cruel and unusual punishment (one for forcing friends to watch eurovision and one for the indecent exposure...).

He then steps to the bar and asks the Taz for a good Australian beer (Crown Royal would do nicely; none of that Foster's pi$$ that they send to America because the silly Yanks wouldn't know good beer if it rained from the sky).

Tsaarx then thinks to himself "Good thing my GF is more attractive than the FBW's; between the Tigga's policies and the girlfriend's temper, this Director would be demoted VERY quickly..."

[Rollo]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
I do think that the lass you had singing in Last year's contest had a really cracking voice (and a
really große brüste)<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I have to take your word on that. I haven't follwed that contest really all that much... not my cup of tea (or as we say over here:"Nicht mein Bier.")

[Growltigga]

We actually make an evening of it, get lots of friends round, lots of beer, wine, spirits and food - take the fun out of all the entries and really have a druniken riot..

we each get given a couple of countries and you have to do forfeits depending on how your coiuntries do

this year, I had both Russia and Greece and for those of you who saw the competition, you will understand why I had to run round my estate naked

[Taz-in-Space]

{Taz gives Director Tsaarx his beer and suggests he try a tasmanian beer, Cascade Premium Lager. Taz then orders a case for himself} http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hmmm, there is now a competitor in town. Well, if nothing else, it will give GT something to beat up on. Don't know if this town is big enough for TWO taverns. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Taz goes back to getting that Help wanted form completed... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Growltigga]

Growltigga is known as a paragon of style, elegance, panache, modesty, good looks, charm, savoire faire, calmness, self control, grace, beauty, good looks, marital prowess and elan....

Taz is made to repeat this 100 times on pain of having all his hair shaved off

GT is not bothered about the other tavern, he is more bothered about what paladonofearth is going to do to Mac

[Growltigga]

and charges him with one count of indecent exposure and two counts of cruel and unusual punishment (one for forcing friends to watch eurovision and one for the indecent exposure...).

I plead guilty as charged m'lud on both counts. I should point out in mitigation of the offences that (a) my friends are all completely 'game-on' to watch eurovision, it really is exceptionally amusing and, I must admit, gets even quite racy (anyone remember the leather-clad petite chuck about from Croatia in this years competition or the extremely attractive Serbian lass from Last year), (b) it is actually 2 counts of indecent exposure as I then had to run round the estate twice (it actually doesn't take very much for me to get my clothes off), (c) it is a good excuse for a good feed and an excellent quaffing session and (d) I should like about 30 other offences to be taken into account

Crown Royal would do nicely

Ah, a closet sophisticate at Last. I do like fosters though if served absolutely ice cold on a hot day

Good thing my GF is more attractive than the FBW's; between the Tigga's policies and the girlfriend's temper, this Director would be demoted VERY quickly

So, your girlfriend is a bit of high score on the tottyscope but with the temper of a hippo with toothache to match then? and what are my policies that are liable to get you demoted then?

[Trajan]

Trajan walks, wearily, into the Cantina. Waving to the assembled patrons, he finds a comfortable booth seat, orders a cold Bass Ale from the nice FBW, and begins to work on his company's new "sales/marketing oriented" website.

However...before he delves into the business of the day, he brings forth a gem of news from the world of F**ked Company.com. Evidently, CNET.com has blocked access to the website from within its own network. Here is the 1st paragraph and link to the whole story.

"Although we debated whether taking this action would draw more attention to some
truly disgusting postings, we are blocking all access to f****dcompany.com from
CNET Networks systems."

http://www.****edcompany.com/extras/cnet5_email.cfm

I often peruse the F'd Company website, looking for rumors that are floated about company's in my neck of the woods. The many many comments that are posted on this site are often extremely vulgar, but hey, this isnt PrettyRoses.Com. It is F**KedCompany.com. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

Ah well...

Cheers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

My symantec guardian of my frail nerves wont let me look at that website I am afraid

Trajan, where on earth do you get Bass ale from? it is a dying breed over here in Blighty - I just dont think you see it as often as you should

[Trajan]

Tigga --

Bass Ale is readily available in the States. I can easily acquire a case or even a Keg of it at my local (Wash. DC) booze retailers.

I used to be able to get Double Diamond, Burton Ale. I greatly prefer this refreshment over most any others, though I am not able to find it in my area anymore. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Cheers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

Trajan
Cripes, I am somewhat surprised that you can readily get Bass Ale over in the States and double diamond!, blinkin' flip - I havn't seen that around in absolute ages.

I think it is fair to say that Bass ale is not as universally available over here as it definately used to be. I think most discerning ale lovers would probably blanche at the thought of drinking bass these days.

It may be that Bass is treated liked DirectorTsaarx mentioned Fosters was ie something shipped over to johnny foreigner who couldn't tell good beer if it rained on him

At least it is not US beer. We have a saying about America. We say you can buy anything you like in America, except the beer and the food because both of those you just hire for a while

[ July 12, 2002, 16:32: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Trajan]

I seroisuly wish I could get Double Diamond here, but I have not seen it in months. I do occasionally get Celbrator Double (Dopple?) Bok.

As for Bass Ale being "Americanized" I think that is a failry accurate statement. As with many things that are initially imported, they get "watered down" to fit the generic desires of the disposable income spending mob.

One of my friends will not drink Guiness anymore, unless he is over in England/Ireland. He says the difference is just far far to great.

Is anyone here a wine connoisseur? I am always look for more information on wines as well.

Cheers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

Trajan,

As joint manager of the Cantina, I naturally have a major interest in wine and like to think I am an informed amateur on the subject.

I am a major fan of all cote du rhones and particularily enjoy some of the new world whites -Friday night without a bottle or two of Banrock Station or Oxford Landing just would not be right

[PaladinOfEarth]

Setting aside the chess game, In a low voice, but deep sonorous Paladin starts to talk.
A relaxed countenance exudes a peaceful demeanor but those eyes communicate the wariness of a man who has many enemies.
“Have a seat mac.” The delivery made it clear, Not a request, not an order, Just a statement.
A casual signal brings a FBW over. Paladin request she bring mac what ever he like for lunch. He passes the FBW a Metal coin, tells her to keep the change.

Fetching slip of paper from his pocket, he shows it to mac, Notes the nervousness of the poor fellow, tells him to relax. I'm not here "for you". I am here because of you. I believe you were interested in my services. :: Hands him the slip of paper ::

EDIT: Spelling

[ July 12, 2002, 17:14: Message edited by: PaladinOfEarth ]

[Growltigga]

"Hmmm" thinks Growltigga, "I wonder if this PaladinofEarth fellow and The High Gryphin are one and the same people?"

"There is no sign of Grphin at the moment, and this Paladin person has the same poor spelling ability as El Gryphho does"

"The mystery continues"

[Gryphin]

* Looks up more startled than when handed the card * What is el Heffe dreaming about now. That look, Maybe he has had oo much of the chabli.

[PaladinOfEarth]

A wry smile crosses the lips. The eyes shift from mac to the well appointed kat. Nice threads, I’ll have to ask who his tailor is.

[TerranC]

*TerranC comes in, looking miserably, seeing how he quit his job here and had to bail out of 3 PBW games, among other things, to sip some brews until he feels drowsy and weak and forgets everything.*

How's everybody?

*TerranC takes some of that German beer, and falls down drowsy*

[mac5732]

Mac nervously accepts the paper, it reads "have friend that is missing due to a dastardly, unscrupuless deed, contact Mac at the Ye New Glactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina, Mac re-reads the paper, scratches his head, Thinks to himself, now why did I send that he tries to remember, as those cold, calculating, remorseless eyes from the stranger star into and through his countenance, sending shivers down his spine, This one, he mentaly remarks to himself, is definitly not the cream pie type, oh me oh my... and then it dawns upon his expanded scientific mind,.. could it be in regards to ......

to be continued

a bewildered mac

Glad to see ya back TerranC, looks as if your system is up and running again, good to see ya back, be careful of that new German Beer, strong stuff, maybe some Coors or Rollin Rock

[ July 12, 2002, 19:49: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Gryphin]

Stepping into the shadows with mac and the stranger.
Turning mac,
Is this man bothering you? We can have him ejected from the premises if he is.

[TerranC]

Originally posted by mac5732:
Glad to see ya back TerranC, looks as if your system is up and running again,<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">?

If you mean:

Shaw cut my system: No... not yet anyways. I still have another week, until the 19th, then it's cut.

I moved to montreal in 3 days: uhh no. That is just impossible.

[mac5732]

thought you were moving earlier, sorry about that
thought you were already in transit....

just some ideas mac

[TerranC]

Well I am moving, just at the END of the month.

[tesco samoa]

Tesco would like to announce a 5 O'clock Brunch out on the Patio.

There will be pita breads, Humus, Mushrooms, Salsa, Blue Corn Chips, and various fruits to munch on.

Don't worry Mac. Later is the first ever Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina Pig Roast ( If you do not like pig insert your animal of choice over the word pig ).

Also does anyone know when Saxon will be back ?

[Gryphin]

Um, er Tesco???!
are you trying to say something?
ah,
"Don't worry Mac. Later is the first ever Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina Pig Roast ( If you do not like pig insert your animal of choice over the word pig ).

Also does anyone know when Saxon will be back ?"

I don't think Saxon will appriiciat being on the menu!

[ July 13, 2002, 23:22: Message edited by: The High Gryphin ]

[mac5732]

Aahhh a cook out on the patio, wonderful, I'm all for it, pig is fine, pork is good meat...., make mine well done, aaahhhh, i'll be there, pop open a brewski or two, Make mine a coors, got a taste for the stuff while in the service,...., ice cold glass.... aahhhh, Tesco, we going to use yours and Puke's Sauces, if so we'll have to have more then one ice cold keg http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif to put the flames out...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
turn on the jukebox, play some tunes, turn up the fire, turn the pig, poor some beer over it to add some flavor... ahhhhhhh, don't forget potato salad, whats a cook out without potato salad and of course BAKED BEANS http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Why wait for the pig roast for later, my mouths watering already, lets kick it in gear for this weekend or this coming week and get it roastin....

In the meantime, I shall of course join you all at 5pm on the patio for the get together to eat and swap war stories..... No mushrooms for me tho, alergic to them... I would embarass everyone by turning into a red spotted porkupine with hideious scratch marks on his anatamy.....

getting hungrey mac

[ July 14, 2002, 04:14: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[tesco samoa]

I personally would not want to have saxon on the menu. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[tesco samoa]

Saxon how was Ghana ???

[Growltigga]

I agree, having seen a picture of Saxon kissing the end of an elephant's trunk (I beleive that to be illegal in some countries and under some of the more straighter-laced religions), I cannot see that there is a part of him you would want to eat!

OTOH, the thought of Saxon tied to a spit and being slowly turned over a charcoal and hickory chip fire whilst being basted in Tesco's chilli sauce does cause some amusement.. if only at the bleatings he would come up with....

Yahhh, today is a good day. I have an interview at another lawfirm today which has the potential of offering something better than where I am now (and that really wouldn't be hard). I am so looking forward to going into my bosses' office and handing in my resignation... she will have to work for a change and that girl does not know how to

the other reason I am happy is that I have just booked my summer holiday. The current Mrs GT and me are off to Borneo in 5 weeks and I cannot wait.
I will get to see orang utangs in th wild and that is something I have wanted to do for years

[tesco samoa]

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small
one turns to the big one and says, "I don't understand how
you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age,
we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"

"Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.

"Hm. Well, where do you catch'em?"

"Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."

"Same here. Hm. How do you catch'em?"

"Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock
the door. Then I jump out, bite'em, shake the crap out of 'em,
and eat 'em!"

"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem.
See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a lawyer,
there's nothin' left but lips and a briefcase."

[Growltigga]

Hmmm... pity computer nerds are not even worthy of having jokes made about them...

My favourite is this one..

A man walks up to a lawyers and asks him how much he charges.

"£500 for 3 questions" says the lawyer
"Cripes", says the man, "isn't that an awful lot of money?"
"Yes" says the lawyer, "and what is your third question?"

[Growltigga]

Here is another one...

A millionaire wins a rather messy divorce so to celebrate, he takes all his friends, and his lawyer, for a tip-top alcohol and sex-fuelled cruise on his private yacht round the caribbean.

The lawyers gets a little tiddly and manages to fall overnight. The crew throw him a life preserver and a banana dacquiri and he is happy as larry, bobbing about in the waves drinking whilst the rescue boat is launched.

Suddenly, this giant man-eating shark comes racing up to the lawyer, everybody is expecting him to be ripped apart but the shark surfaces underneath him so that the lawyer is astride his back, swims over to the side of the yacht and helps the lawyer back on board, with a wave from a fin and a flick of his tail, the shark disappears back into the depths.

Everybody is astounded and the millionaire walks up to the lawyer, who is still sipping his banana dacquiri happily, and asks him why the shark didn't eat him, but instead, helped him back on board.

"Oh that" says the lawyer "that is just professional courtesy"

[Saxon]

Ghana is hot and humid. Skirts are short, tops are tight and the Internet is slow. Ergo, no sign of Saxon in the Cantina. Either that or a fear of why Tigga wants to see me tied naked to a spit and being slowly rotated. I always though Broomhilda was enough to slake his appetites, but I guess I was wrong.

I should be back on the 24th, though we are trying to get out of here early. Three of my less than stellar staff managed to get themselves deported and fired, so I now have a small staffing problem in East Africa. Word to the wise, don’t get drunk and piss off immigration officials in a land far, far away. They have no sense of humour.

[geoschmo]

Geoschmo saunters in, drops his shilling on the bar and orders whatever passes for drinks in these parts. He arrives just in time to catch the tail end of the conversation. At an appropriate lull he decides to share with the room his favorite laywer joke.

So this lawyer decides to go on a trip to Borneo see? And he wants to see the wildlife and such so he hires a local guide to take him on a tour and show him the oranguatangs.

They get a ways out into the bush and they suddenly realize they are being stalked by a very hungry looking tiger. The guide, who up to this point had been dressed in completely authentic native accutrements and was walking about barefoot, calmly sits down, opens his knapsack and pulls out a shiney new pair of Nike running shoes and begins to lace them up snugly.

The lawyer, a bit frazzeled at the prospect of his imminent demise wailed, "Surely you don't think you can outrun that tiger on foot do you?"

The guide calmly stood and spoke quietly, "But sir, I do not need to outrun the tiger. I only need to out run you."

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Geoschmo

PS: No, it wasn't a laywer joke the first time I heard it either, but you gotta love a story that ends with the lawyer getting eaten. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ July 15, 2002, 21:04: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[PaladinOfEarth]

A quiet grin passes the lips of the man in the shsdows

[Growltigga]

"Oh Geo", says Growltigga snicking his cricket pad into the palm of his paw, "you really are showing your geographical ignorance again, especially as it relates to local flora and fauna"

Growltigga strowls up behind Geo and says "YOU..DONT...GET..TIGERS...IN....BORNEO" enunciating and emphasising each word with a wallop round Geo's head with the cricket bat

[Atrocities]

Atrocities enters the bar. He is hungry and in a really bad mood. People, fearing for their safety, move out of his path as he strides to the bar.

"I want a shot of your strongest poison!"

"Cuuummmmiinngg Rigght uppp Siiiiir." Squeaks the timid bar tender.

The drink is given to Atrocities; he slams it back, stands, looks about the room, and falls face first to the floor.

No more poison for him. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[dogscoff]

A distant rumbling is heard...

Patrons looking out of the windowcan see a faint blue strip on the horizon, which gradually grows until it is apparent that a gigantic 500-metre high wave of seawater is sweeping towards the cantina at an incredible rate, destroying all in its path.

Panic ensues: Various drinkers scramble to get to their spacecraft in the parking area, or hide uinder their tables and start crying. Growltigga's fur stands on end and he leaps into the rafters, quivering at the thought of getting wet. Other drinkers simply resign themselves to their fates and calmly order another drink, determined to at least go out in style.

Just short of the Cantina, the wave stops miraculously, just like that bit at the end of "Abyss". Within the wall of water, gigantic sea- creatures can be seen: Genetically altered whales in battle armour, legions of sharks in military formations, and fearsome deep sea- creatures as yet undiscovered by the air-breathing world at large.

Atop the wave, amidst the gravity- defying spume, upon a throne seemingly fashioned from the water itself there sits a figure. Someone produces a small telescope and everyone crowds around for a view of the Ocean King. It's Dogscoff, surrounded by voluptous mermaid courtiers and heavily armed mermen. Suddenly, an enormous squid swims to the front of the wave, rising up beneath the aquatic court. With one building sized tentacle, it lifts the throne and its occupant from the top of the wave to the Cantina's balcony. The throne of water collapses with a splash around the tentacle as the Ocean King steps from it into the bar.

"I'll have a pint of Hoegaarden, and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps." He says to the astounded barman. "Open a tab for me, I plan to stick around." It is some time before the rest of the cantina's occupants gather their wits enough to speak, but finally someone speaks up:
"Where have you been?"
"I've been conquering the undersea realms, forging an empire mightier than anything ever seen above the waves. I now control all subaquatic life on the eplanet, and have amassed untold wealth from the hitherto unexploited mineral resources of the ocean floor."

There is a stunned silence.

"But my fingers were going all wrinkly, so I decided to come back here for a pint. Drinks are on me for a week."

With that the wave retreats as quickly as it arrived, but not as quickly as the stampede for the bar now that someone else is paying...

[dogscoff]

IRL...

I took voluntary redundancy Last week and so haven't been able to visit the forums from work, coz I don't have to work out my notice. Then this weekend I've been moving house, and so my home phone-line has been unavailable until this morning. I've been going Online from my mobile to keep up with PBW, but that's too expensive for general browsing.

Anyway, I'm bak for now, with a few days off and my home internet connection restored http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif I start a new job on Monday, where I probably won't get to browse the forums in work hours, so after thios week I probably won't be so frequent a visitor http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[ July 16, 2002, 13:20: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

LOL, Growltigga is exceptinally glad to see Dogscoff back from the deeps, and hale and hearty, and asks him if his new-found role as guardian and lord of the sea means the Thai-style tuna steak and boquerones are off the menu?

El Scoffo, have you got another job to go too? havn't you just moved house and therefore need to service the mortgage? you are not on a limb are you cos being an overpaid lawyer (according to Geo anyhow), I am afford to lend you £1 a week

[ July 16, 2002, 13:23: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[dogscoff]

Thanks 'Tig (and thanks for the PM as well) but it's actually quite the opposite situation. All the plumpest and finest creatures of the sea will now be leaping out of the water near the cantina, desperate to be selected for the honour of being cooked and eaten by their ocean king or his esteemed associates.

If you can arrange the construction of a giant fish tank in the kitchens, I'll have one of my finest merman chefs move into it to instruct in the preparation of all the subaquatic delights which wil be utterly unknown to your air-breathing cooks. A warning though, certain deep-sea creatures might explode when served at normal air-pressure. Still, I guess it only serves to make the menu a little more exciting.

[geoschmo]

Geo sits at the bar nursing his drink, and several cricket bat shaped head wounds of various severity and watches out the window as the waters receed from the parking lot. Idely we wonders if he remebered to roll his windows up...

[dogscoff]

El Scoffo, have you got another job to go too?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yup, start next Monday. With the mortgage and house-moving still undecided at the time, I wouldn't have applied for voluntary redundancy without a new job to go to. My new job will be 5% more money than the old one, 100 miles less commuting per day and hopefully will be more interesting and promising. Oh, and I might get to travel to Germany quite a lot. Any forum ppl in Munich?


havn't you just moved house and therefore need to service the mortgage? you are not on a limb are you cos being an overpaid lawyer (according to Geo anyhow), I am afford to lend you £1 a week
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thanks for the offer but everything is sorted and settled, house wise- apart from the unpacking, that is. I'm actually doing better financially now than I have been in a long time, having just received a generous redundancy payment (credit cards paid off) and a pay rise. I'm actually feeling like a bit of a smug, jammy bastard at the moment http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

Mac sees the huge tidal wave and the subsequent reincarnation of Dogscoff, he smiles, turns to the dark seated stranger, and says, well he's back, won't need your services for now, however how about a nice game of chess on your beautiful board, The stranger looks up with those incapable feeling eyes and nods, Mac settles down across the table and begins the game, of course he orders his usual from Taz the bartender since Dogscoff is buying http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif , he also notices that the Dreadnaughat that was parked over that skylark in the parking lot has been washed away with the tide, including the little old screachiang lady. Poor Puke, but maybe since the Dogscoff has obtained a new raise, he'll lend him some $ for a new ship.

He looks towards the bar to see where his Coors has gotten to, hope Taz didn't test it first he mumbles, but no there's the Taz over in the cornor building what appears to be a very large human sized fish tank. aahhh new items for the menu, he also notices the paramedics attending to poor Geo, who is eyeing the new Cream Pie dispenser, sees the tigga still in the rafters shaking at the thought of water pelting his pedigree upon the resurrection of Dogscoff, and a group of the FBW surrounding the reclining figure of Atrocities, oohin and aahing all over him as they gently pick him up, deposit him on one of the new fluffy cots in the cornor, and administer to his every wish as they console him in his recovery efforts. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

welcome back Dogscoff

just some ideas mac

[ July 16, 2002, 16:15: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[tesco samoa]

Geo. Get off the pine and come outside. It's sunny and pool is just fine. Also the bartender is starting to make a mighty fine coco loco. And they have started offering some of the finer Mexican beers on tap as well. Some Sol or Bravo is in order

[Growltigga]

Yes, welocme back Dogscoff.

Growltigga, in a fit of reasonable behaviour and fondness for a fellow Brit, comes down from the rafters (remember guys that Tigers can swim) and gets out the champagne to celebrate.. bottles of Veuve Cliquot Ponsardin are passed round to all and sundry on a gratis "get as much down your gullit as you can" basis

Geo's medical bill is settled and GT gives him a big wet kiss on the head, Atrocities is given another bottle of poison to really send him off, Puke is given a pristine 1977 1.6 Austin Allegro to replace his dreadnaught, Mac is given another Liz Hurley lookalike FBW to interfere with, PaladinofEarth is offered the LLC contract, Gryphin is given corrective surgery (on his eyes, on his eyes) and the world is now a happy laughing place full of happy laughing smiley people

Note to self1: hire a sushi chef and/or Rick Stein

Note to self2: speak to Dogscoff about a 100 MILE COMMUTE?

Note to self3: slap Tesco on the back for mentioning Mexican/Spanish beers... is there nothing better than an ice cold Dos Equis or Alhambra or Cruzcampo when served with nachos, fajitas and chimichangas

GT walks off to bar, drooling heavily

[ July 16, 2002, 16:36: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[DirectorTsaarx]

Originally posted by DirectorTsaarx:and charges him with one count of indecent exposure and two counts of cruel and unusual punishment (one for forcing friends to watch eurovision and one for the indecent exposure...).
Originally posted by Growltigga:
I plead guilty as charged m'lud on both counts. I should point out in mitigation of the offences that (a) my friends are all completely 'game-on' to watch eurovision, it really is exceptionally amusing and, I must admit, gets even quite racy (anyone remember the leather-clad petite chuck about from Croatia in this years competition or the extremely attractive Serbian lass from Last year), (b) it is actually 2 counts of indecent exposure as I then had to run round the estate twice (it actually doesn't take very much for me to get my clothes off), (c) it is a good excuse for a good feed and an excellent quaffing session and (d) I should like about 30 other offences to be taken into account
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">30 other offences, eh? What was that line about "Anyone who chooses to represent himself in a court of law has a fool for a client?" Please expound - we LOVE it when a prisoner incriminates himself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
Originally posted by DirectorTsaarx:
Crown Royal would do nicely
Originally posted by Growltigga:
Ah, a closet sophisticate at Last. I do like fosters though if served absolutely ice cold on a hot day<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ah yes, what a friend of mine likes to call "lawnmower beer"; beer to be drunk ice-cold after being forced to work outside on a hot, sweaty day. The taste of the beer doesn't matter; in fact, it's better to use cheap, nasty beer so as not to waste the good stuff when you're more concerned with cold & numbing rather than taste & enjoyment.

Originally posted by DirectorTsaarx:
Good thing my GF is more attractive than the FBW's; between the Tigga's policies and the girlfriend's temper, this Director would be demoted VERY quickly
Originally posted by Growltigga:
So, your girlfriend is a bit of high score on the tottyscope but with the temper of a hippo with toothache to match then? and what are my policies that are liable to get you demoted then?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, the GF is a looker, and a jealous one at that (fine by me - I can be the jealous type as well http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ). As for policies, in the initial post on this thread, you quoted from the Book of Cyril

Originally posted by Growltigga:
"And lo, verily it is foretold that a new cantina will arise from the ashes liketh unto spring flowers after rain, that said cantina will be a place of peace and tranquility, of grand cuisine, pleasant company and decent ale, and any peasant drinking crappy American beer will have done to them what God did'eth unto the sodomites, and if they then mess with the fluffy bunny waitresses (who have been practicing their samba'ing on copacabana beach and getting tans) they will have done to them what the sodomites did to one another..."
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Obviously, I was using "demoted" in the figurative sense. "Unmanned" (by the GF) and "violated" (by the mgmt. of the Cantina) would be the literal description of said actions...

[DirectorTsaarx]

Originally posted by Taz-in-Space:
{Taz gives Director Tsaarx his beer and suggests he try a tasmanian beer, Cascade Premium Lager. Taz then orders a case for himself} http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ah yes; I've had that as well. I'd forgotten it was Tasmanian, though... excellent choice of Lager, BTW. Good bartender! You get a tip: Buy low, sell high, and mineral planets are best http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Growltigga]

we LOVE it when a prisoner incriminates himself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

You are right there. I did some summer service in the magistrates court years and years ago. This nutter of a man was in the dock for aggravated assault (about 4 nervous policemen standing around him and me in my nikes) and the beak tells nutter he is guilty and he is going down. Nutter says he is repentant and then asks for 182 other offences of aggagravated assault and grievous boldily harm to be taken into account. El Beako looks a bit shocked (I am in starter postions aimed at the exit), and asks nutter is they were all assault charges. Nutter says "He finks so but he wasn't sure cos some of them couldn't move afterwards"

Laugh? I did when I made it out of the building

Ah yes, what a friend of mine likes to call "lawnmower beer"; beer to be drunk ice-cold after being forced to work outside on a hot, sweaty day. The taste of the beer doesn't matter; in fact, it's better to use cheap, nasty beer so as not to waste the good stuff when you're more concerned with cold & numbing rather than taste & enjoyment.

LOL, I do like that term, I do think you are being a little unfair to Fosters, although I would qualify it by saying I normally would only drink the export

Yeah, the GF is a looker, and a jealous one at that (fine by me - I can be the jealous type as well http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ). As for policies, in the initial post on this thread, you quoted from the Book of Cyril

I did quote but interfering with a FBW will get you tied over a barrel and rodgered senseless by someone called roger. Not demoted even in a figurative sense.. more like feeling like the outside of a sausage roll in the figurative sense

I think Crown Royal can be a regular in the bar.. as long as it is ice cold from the Eskey

[TerranC]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
"YOU..DONT...GET..TIGERS...IN....BORNEO"<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No... and yes.

I heard there used to be Borneo tigers, but they went also heard they went EXTINCT.

Correct me if I am wrong but didn't the British Elite made it a habit to collect exotic items during the imperial times?

*Ahem*

Also, to anybody that cares:
This will be my Last post until I move to Montreal and get set up; so if you have a message for me or something like such; please forget about it and never bring it up till next month.

Happy debating on US and UK judicial systems and Geography of Southeastern Asian Islands.

[mac5732]

have a good and safe move TerranC, see ya when you get back,, also we'll hold a free drink of 2 for you on Dogscoff's tab,, J(unless the Taz tests them for posterity, then we'll just put them on his tab) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

just some ideas mac

[PaladinOfEarth]

:: Idily takes mac's knight, Coughs lightly when mac orders a "Coors", Shows his teeth as mac takes a huge swig of Old Nut Hen Brown Ale ::

[ July 16, 2002, 18:05: Message edited by: PaladinOfEarth ]

[DirectorTsaarx]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by DirectorTsaarx:
we LOVE it when a prisoner incriminates himself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You are right there. I did some summer service in the magistrates court years and years ago. This nutter of a man was in the dock for aggravated assault (about 4 nervous policemen standing around him and me in my nikes) and the beak tells nutter he is guilty and he is going down. Nutter says he is repentant and then asks for 182 other offences of aggagravated assault and grievous boldily harm to be taken into account. El Beako looks a bit shocked (I am in starter postions aimed at the exit), and asks nutter is they were all assault charges. Nutter says "He finks so but he wasn't sure cos some of them couldn't move afterwards"

Laugh? I did when I made it out of the building
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ahhhh... stupid criminal stories... my favorite was the would-be bank robber who decided to knock over a bank directly across from a US Government office on payday (since they'd have lots of cash on hand for those government worker paychecks). Well, he pulls a gun, informs the teller he's robbing the bank, and hears dozens of guns drawn & multiple voices yell "Freeze!" The poor sap had chosen to hold up the bank across from an FBI building on a day when lots of FBI agents would be cashing their paychecks. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Terran - good luck with the move!

[DirectorTsaarx]

I noticed on another thread (which contains a great deal of emotional debate that I don't care to soil my hands with) that Geo recently "discovered" cricket. Which gave me a thought (not necessarily a good one, but who cares, I've been drinking beer from Down Under again): this cantina needs a cricket team! Better, we need two teams so we can actually play a game (rather than sit around in uncomfortable uniforms & complain about old sports injuries) - that sorry excuse for a bar across the street is too American to understand the sport. They'd probably try to use a round bat and 4 bases...

[Taz-in-Space]

Taz, finishing up a Last few details on the new 'fish tank', takes a moment to taste test a few beers. Have to keep the liquid stock up to par - you never know when we might get some watered down brews! {nasty job, but someone has to do it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif }

Now that the gang has all appeared maybe it's time to PARTY!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Puke]

puke looks about, then stares at the keys to the '77 Allegro in front of him. Not a dreadnaught, but...

he produces a flask from his jacket, pours Geo a shot of whiskey, and raises a toast:

to War, Strife, and Brawl. or to the First Round, wherever it went. either one.

Cheers, and let the angry mob stay outside the doors.

[Gryphin]

:: Steps in from out of the sun, Trips over a chair, Picks himself up and gets a glass of greatfruit juice, Joins the toast in the name of peace ::
Paladin, you are up early and "Brandy" before 9am? &lt; phew &gt;.
Suggestion: Play SE. I have seen your paint jobs, Don't go there.

[geoschmo]

Hey now Tsaarx, a cricket team would be a smashing idea! It would give me a chance to learn the finer points of the game.

As far as the other thread goes, I hope Gt feels as I do that it's all the jibes are in fun. I rather enjoy pulling the old cats tail, wot? And as far as the emotions go, it's been calm in there relative to some of the bruhaha's I have had occasion to witness watching the House of Commons debates on the telly. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Bartender, a drink for Gt please, I'm buying. No restrictions against drinking on duty 'eh Gt? What'll you have? A nice saucer of milk maybe? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Geoschmo

[Gryphin]

Juxtaposes:
Geo's use of the word "Smashing" and "cricket bat shaped head wounds "
Wonders if they are related and if this is part of the game of criket.

[mac5732]

Mac saunders in for his morning diet of high Caloric and Cholestral breakfast of bacon, eggs, home fries and rye toast, washed down with an ice cold orange juice, after looking over Puke's new allegro in the lot, sees the everyone raising their glasses in a toast, raises his in the joing of peace, prosperity and the glazing of planets, ahhhhhh, refreshing, looks at Taz who is a little unsteady on his feet this morning as he trys to fill the new fish tank with a paper cup, hmmmm, I think Taz has been testing a weee bit this morning, notices the saucer of Milk on the floor next to the bar, walks over, nods to Paladin, moves his Rook to Kings 5, sits down and reads about the new prosposed cricket Team. Not bad ideas, maybe even put in a dart board for dart leagues, waves at Geo who's head is all bandaged and his left arm in a sling, Then notices a new huge picture hanging behind the bar, Hey Taz, where did that photo of someone kissing a Gnu with a long snout come from???? Taz just looks over bleary eyed, shakes his head and goes back to filling the tank, this time with 2 cups.....

just some ideas mac

[tesco samoa]

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look
on his face.

"Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it
again!"

"What dream?" asked the psychiatrist.

"You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism
and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I
just beating a dead horse?"

[mac5732]

A doctor, A Lawyer and an Aid Worker met with a friend of theirs, who gave each of them $50,000 to hold in trust for him in case something happened. He made then promise not to spend it as when he passes into the here-after he wants to take it with him

Several days later their friend passes away.
The three meet after the funeral to toast their departed friend's departure from this world.

The docotor confesses, I feel real bad, I spent $25,000 of the money he gave me for a new xray machine for the hospital...

The Aid worker states, I to am guilty, I spent $20,000 for food for the poor

The Lawyer looks at them and says, I also spent some of the money, but don't feel bad, I took care of everything, I wrote him a check for all of us and put it in his coffin.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ July 17, 2002, 14:57: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[geoschmo]

*GROAN*

...and doc, I'm having this other dream where sometimes I am a teepee and sometimes I am a wigwam. I don't know doc, do you think I am two tents?

Bad um bump, tish....

[ July 17, 2002, 15:00: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[mac5732]

You know, after reading some of these aaheemmm joke Posts, I feel WE all have too much time on our hands.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

oh well, who wants to work anyway http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Taz, breakfast for everyone is on Geo and Tesco..... everyone dig in.....

a LOL Mac

[DirectorTsaarx]

mac: you mean this place doesn't have a darts board yet? Good God/goddess/golly/cat, we better get one quick! It's not a proper drunk until you get to throw sharp, pointy objects at a wall, hoping that you hit the correct target (especially when there's really only one board, you're just _seeing_ two...) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[mac5732]

D.T. I agree, nothing like a good Dart Board to add some extra pizzzzaz to the cantina, hmmm, We'll have to ask the Taz, (when he's up and running again), to order a tournament size board. The only problem I can see is when one of Puke's or Tesco's get together parties start to become a singing ballad of 100 bottles of beer while throwing at the board, then it could be interesting, if you get the Point, or if Atrocities, who is currently recovering under the ministrations of the FBW, agains decides to attempt poisonous fluids after a bad day...

The cantina is becoming a rather sports bar,
a Cricket Team and now Dart Board Teams.. whats next... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

just some ideas mac

[Gryphin]

:: Listening to the conversation, Gryphin dissapers quietly out the back door. A few moments later reapears with 3 super deluxe top of fasion and technolgy Dart Boards, Quickly hands them to mac to set up ::

[Puke]

puke groans in pain from the horrid jokes being bantered about. The only sure way to take his mind of it is with food. Fortuneatly theres a new kosher sushi restruant that delivers locally.

once again, puke produces his crank-operated telephone. "operator? Sosumi's, please."

(puke ducks as a heavy object whizes over his head)

[PaladinOfEarth]

:: In a fluid motion, Stands, Raises his brandy, Nods in agreement, sits to resume the game, Pleased there is one place of semi quiet and peace ::

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz, newly arrived and back on duty, notices 3 new dart Boards stacked on the bar. Well... I guess all we need now is some darts! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Now where to place the dart Boards? Knowing the patrons of the establishment - he places them as far from the bar ( and fish tank ) as he can! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

That done, he looks around and notices:
puke produces his crank-operated telephone. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">OK. Now the customers are making CRANK calls. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Taz shakes his head and resumes his post behind the bar...

[tesco samoa]

Well if there is a games room starting up. Tesco brings in a air hockey game and a bubble hockey game. Canada vs Russia vintage 1994 one.

Something to think about

A subtle but apparently widespread corporate practice came to light earlier this year when the family of a deceased Wal-Mart warehouseman in Texas learned that the company had taken out a $64,000 life insurance policy on him, naming the company as beneficiary. Companies often buy policies for their top executives, but so-called "dead janitor" policies are usually purchased in secret, as tax dodges. Critics say that such companies lose the incentive to make their workplaces safer if they stand to collect on employees' deaths. Wal-Mart purchased about 350,000 such policies but canceled them this year after the practice was exposed. [Houston Chronicle, 4-16-02]

[Trajan]

Trajan steps into the cantina, after havng angered his wife on his way out the door to his job. Pulling up a stool at the bar, he makes his usual request for a cold Bass Ale, and begins to plan a way out of the hole he fell into with the wife this morning.

---Hmmmm a dart board....now that might a good way to work off some steam.

[ July 18, 2002, 15:37: Message edited by: Trajan ]

[DirectorTsaarx]

Well, now that we have some games, where's the music? I hear the Xiati can use their mechanical "enhancements" to create some interesting synthy new-age kinda stuff, the Drushocka tend more towards drum-heavy punk, and the EEE have been experimenting with synethesia stuff (you know, sound being experienced as light and vice versa).

Besides, I've got Elvis and Jim Morrison back in my time machine, and they're getting bored without an appreciative audience... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[mac5732]

Mac walks into the cantina for his morning usual high diatetic breakfast, notices all the construction work going on on the west side of the cantina, upon asking one of our lovely FBW whats up, she tells him, they are adding on an addition to expand the game room portion of the cantina. He strolls over to the area in question, and sees 3 delux dart Boards set up along with a player sign up sheet on the bulliton board along with a Cricket Team Roster sign up. hmmm, he mumbles, as he signs up on the Dart player sign up sheet, he also notices an extensive new sports TV system with 5 large monitors being installed on the walls, alright he exclaims, he walks back to his table and indulges drinking his orange juice waiting for his food and sees the Taz, who is looking better then yesterday, dragging a air hockey game towards the new addition and watches him as he places it near the new bubble hockey game. He also notices Trajan sloshing down some strong spirits and who is talking with Director Tsaarx, something about Elvis joining a Drushka and EEE spacial blues band,....???, his breakfast is served by his favorite L. Hurly look a like, sits back, waves to The Paladin who is at his usual table, notices the milk saucer still next to the bar untouched, waves, settles back to gorge himself and watch ESPN on one of the new monitors while watching Puke, during the commercials, try to turn the crank on a funny looking phone while reading what appears to be the 101 Phongs Head Joke Book.

relaxing mac

[ July 18, 2002, 15:42: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga picks up the phone and orders 1 bar billiards table, one pub skittles table, 1 extra large scalextric and table football with reinforced struts

[tesco samoa]

Anti-Spam Legislation Opposed By Powerful Penis-Enlargement Lobby
http://www.theonion.com/onion3825/anti-spam_legislation.html

[tesco samoa]

a classic at work today.

A newsletter from the states with a canadain spin on it sent out to everyone in north america.

Here's how it starts

QUITE BREEZY (hey) – WINDS EXPECTED TO REACH ABOOOT CANADA

Our early warning indicators were not that far off. We had predicted that our xxxlocations up north would be scheduled for .....

It goes down hill after that.
So typical. If your gonna slam someone at least take the time and effort to get it right .

Just posted this because some one here should get a laugh out of it.

[geoschmo]

Geo observes all the commotion going on around him and wonders if they will install any video game consoles. This thought sends him off pondering a deep thought...

What if instead of game consoles we installed some LAN'd pc's? And then for the pc's we could get some really fun games. Maybe a 4X strategy game set in outer space in which we would all play the parts of galactic Emporers leading our mighty empires across far flung star systems. And then if we had questions or wanted to compare strategies we could ask them in the forum convienently provided by the distibutor of the game. But serious discussions about the game all the time wouldn't be fun, so occasionally we could open an off topic thread in that forum and pretend to be weary galactic emporers spending our off hours in a great intergalactic cantina...

At this point geo's head imploded.

[Gryphin]

Geo,
I once again find myself explaining what I think is so funny.
Edit: That is: explaining to my co workers.
By the way:
What do you mean, "pretending"?

[ July 18, 2002, 21:56: Message edited by: The High Gryphin ]

[geoschmo]

I would be happy to explain what I mean by pretending Gryphin, but I have no head.

At this point, Taz, who is dutifully wiping down the bar, gets to the headless body of geo slumped over the bar. He notices the "Head-alert" bracelet on his wrist...

Hello, If this body becomes headless for any reason, do not panic. Do not attempt to administer first aid, and under no circumstances dispose of or destroy the body. Store it in an out of the way place and call the number below and someone will come pick it up. If this is inconvenient for you, drop it in the nearest mailbox and it will be returned to the owners family, postage guaranteed.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

[ July 18, 2002, 21:09: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[Puke]

hmm, maybe we can rig something up with that stuffed Phong's head mascott over the bar. I've got some duct tape here, and if we could get it to make disparaging comments about lawyers, no one would know its not him.

I saw a Nissan Z in the parking lot, at the least we could steal the speach system out of it and Geo could say "The door is ajar" every time someone walks into the cantina.

[Gryphin]

Looks at the stack of 5 boxes sitting on the bar next to where the dart Boards were, Clearly labled: Supreme Dartss, Wonders if Taz has been testing the product before he came into work ::

[Fyron]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
Note to self2: speak to Dogscoff about a 100 MILE COMMUTE?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's not to hard to believe. It's 50 miles to work, 50 miles back. A lot of people that work in Los Angeles, California, live in suburbs far away (who actually wants to live in L.A. (save the Hollywood part) anyways?) and commute to work every day. My father did that for like 15 years.

[tesco samoa]

As per Canadian traditions. It is my birthday so I show up at the bar and grill with 3 dozen donuts

[Growltigga]

Belated Happy Birthday Tesco, I hope your celebrations were suitably liquid-fuelled and that you feel like you have wrestled a bear this morning.

[mac5732]

Mac stumbles into the cantina after almost being run over by a NissonZ which was recklessly being operated in the parking lot outside, driven by some radical laughing Maniac. Struggling up to the bar, he notices the headless countenance of Geo leaning on the wall over in the cornor, stares at the headless wonder, shakes his head, mumbles something about "somethings never change in the cantina", asks the Taz for a strong orange juice and wanders towards his table. On the way he spies the kitty milk saucer on the floor empty with what appears to be soggy donut crumbs all around it. Hmmm the Kat is Back he mutters, As he lowers his tired old frame into his chair, he observes, boxs of what could only be donuts on an adjoing table. Finally, some decent dietetic sustenance he shouts, pushing back his chair and mandering over, to partake of this luscious extravaganza of excellance, aaahhh chocolate cream filled, my favorite he exclaims and he grabs one in each hand and goes back to his table. He orders a large milk from one of the FBW, puts his feet up while gorging himself on the cream filled wonders.. ahhhh, now if only someone would scrape up the remains of the splattered Geo Head, this could be a right enjoyable morning,, he thinks to himself...As he starts to indulge in his daily LH dreams for the day, he sees the Kat dragging in a large pool talbe, now what is the old furry one up to now, he thinks as he continues to fill his frame with smooth tasty morsels. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Tesco, Happy Birthday you old sot, tks for the donuts,

a gorging mac

[ July 19, 2002, 15:28: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga kicks saucer of milk over Mac (oops, sorry old timer) and finishes moving bar billiards table to corner of cantina.

Growltigga gives big sigh, opens a bottle of Laphroiag and down in one, followed by 6 bottles of 1692 Kentish bitter, as he worries about how the hell he is going to explain the rules of bar billiards to the Americans in the bar..

And as for trying to explain Bat "N" Trap, Pub Skittles and Whistle Miss Susie?? Growltigga reaches for the second bottle of Laphroiag and collapeses gently in the corner

[geoschmo]

In the corner of the bar, unnoticed at first, the headless body of Geo begins to twitch. Slightly at first, steadily increasing to the point of convulsions. Suddenly the body comes to life and bolts upright in the chair, and then stands.

The arms, which at first had been flailing about uncontrolably, now appear to be working to a purpose and begin tugging at the stubby neck remains of the previous head. A small protrubance begins to form at this point, quickly expanding upwards at outwards with a disgusting sound that is at once reminicent of flesh being torn, and the sound of a ballon being inflated.

This protrubance has the initial appearance of an formless creature struggling to escape from Geo's body via the neck. However it quickly takes form and becomes apparent that it is in fact a new head in the form of Geo's old head, only much smaller, almost comically so, in size. As the head continues to expand, it becomes apparent that it is covered in a slimy substance that drips occasionally on to Geo's upper body and the floor.

As the new head reaches a size appropriate for the body, at least as much as the previous Geo's head was, the face contorts as Geo's stretches the newly formed mucles. All in the bar at this point stare in rapt attention as Geo suddenly blurts out, "Man! That really stings!"

And with that Geo excuses himself to the restroom to clean up.

[tesco samoa]

now in the tesco tradition. Sushi for lunch and later tonigh after some gumbo a nice robusto ( Dominican ,,, Hoye de Montary )... Tesco cracks open the humidor and passes them around.

[mac5732]

Geo, LOL, tell the head welcome back..

GT, pls read the How Old I am Thread, you will see that there are others on this forum that are older then I am.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif so there you furry feline, and remember age catches all of us and besides it also means that whatever your going to do, want to do, try to do, I've already done it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif as Mac wipes the spilt milk off his reclining anatamy, and besides, didn't your mother ever tell you to respect your elders http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif as mac walks over to the cream pie dispenser and puts in a $5 bill and retreives 5 large, creamy pies, he spins quickly, throws, splat, the furry anatamy of the Kat is quickly enveloped in a ooey, gooey, creamy layer of Cream Pie ala mode..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Mac quickly puts on his raincoat, grabs an all weapon deflector shield, goes back to his table to read up on Billiards while munching on one of Tesco's birthday donuts, stopping at the Palaidins table and moving his queens pawn to knights 4

just some ideas mac



Mac strolls over to the

[tesco samoa]

http://www.satirewire.com/news/july02/profiling.shtml

[mac5732]

Good Tesco, your celebration of your obtaining further enlightenment as you move foreward in age is most gratifing to those of us who have passed that way before you. Yet, one must warn those still younger, that what you eat on your birthday shall soon pass, and to be forewarned as to your location in regards to a doorway leading to a small room where one's excess may be disposed of, this is a must when one obtains the upper years of ones life and indulges in the same delights he was used to in his younger more holding years http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Enjoy yourself on your B-day

just some ideas Mac

[DirectorTsaarx]

Originally posted by geoschmo:
&lt;snip&gt;
As the new head reaches a size appropriate for the body, at least as much as the previous Geo's head was, the face contorts as Geo's stretches the newly formed mucles. All in the bar at this point stare in rapt attention as Geo suddenly blurts out, "Man! That really stings!"
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That reminds me: did anyone go to see Men In Black 2? Anyone planning to see it (before it comes out on video/DVD/movie channels)?

[Trajan]

I saw MIB 2.

It was funny, though, not as original as the first movie. It is a good night out, if you have nothing better to do (such as playing SEIV).

Also...it is only 88 minutes long. For $8 a ticket, that is getting mighty close to the "It's not worth it" Category.

Cheers!
Trajan

[Trajan]

Happy Birthday Tesco.

&lt;!!!Hurra!!!&gt;
&lt;!!!Hurra!!!&gt;
&lt;!!!Hurra!!!&gt;

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff sits at a quiet table in the bar, a host of adoring lobsters and octopi gathered around his feet. He flicks idly through the menu, but finds nothing to his taste.

Casually, he gets up and wanders over in Geo's direction. With one sudden movement he produces an antique samurai sword from his coat and swipes GeoSchmoe's head clean off.
"He'll soon grow another one" he mutters to himself.
he grabs the severed head by the hair and throws it to Taz behind the bar. "Fry that up in some butter and garlic would you?"

He orders another beer and returns to his table.

[geoschmo]

Now, that was quite rude, the head of Geo thought, and would have said had he been able to do more than mouth the words. It's Last thought before being dropped in the oversize fry daddy was whether or not this type of behavior was to be tolerated in the cantina, and if it was he would be sure to try out the bar across the street...

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Puke:
hmm, maybe we can rig something up with that stuffed Phong's head mascott over the bar. I've got some duct tape here, and if we could get it to make disparaging comments about lawyers, no one would know its not him.

I saw a Nissan Z in the parking lot, at the least we could steal the speach system out of it and Geo could say "The door is ajar" every time someone walks into the cantina.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOLROF LBC - Puke, thank you for introducing me to a wholly novel experience, ie finding you funny...

This is brilliant, free booze for you for a lifetime for this one, Ol' Geo saying "the door is ajar", "you need fuel" etc

Brilliant

[Puke]

puke plucks up one of Dogscoff's octapus-sycophants from the floor, and attaches it to Geo's stump. pondering at the lack of facial features, puke produces a magic-marker and traces out eyes and a mouth on the forward side of the octapus.

magically (what else did you expect from a magic-marker?) the eyes blink, the mouth opens, and Geo proclaims his astonishment at the unexpected turn of events.

puke pours a glass and toasts to Tesco's health, and helps himself to a doughnout.

eyeing another of Dogscoffs sycophants, puke wonders how it would taste beer-battered and deep-fried.

[DavidG]

The bar patrons roll their eyes as they look at DavidG rolling around on the floor laughing histerically. Assuming he is just wasted yet again they move on not realizing he has just been viewing this net site:

http://5ea.fm.interia.pl/swf/me.swf

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz serves Dogscoff his fried Geo-head and wonders at the things some (people?) eat! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Speaking of eating, Taz snags some lobsters and puts them together with some corn, potatoes, clams, and onions for an oldfashion Lobster Bake. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Might as well get a decent meal while watching all the fun... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Chardo Mon]

Chardo barely stumbles into the cantina. The fluffy bunny W's take just a little pity on him and get him 2 drinks (on Mac's tab, to be paid back as soon as Chardo recovers from work implosion bomb) and ease him into what they believe is a work protective field (who else would know better what to do with a work stressed patron???)

[mac5732]

as Mac is relaxing at his table one of the fbw brings him a bill.. "now what the heck is this he mutters as he sees his tab is a whopping $3600." I didn't think I ate and drank that much he exclaims as he pulls out his check book." Well I guess when you get older the mind is the first to go as writes out a check for the full amount, I just hope it doesn't bounce http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif He orders a very stiff double of Canadian Club with ginger, large glass, moves his Bishop to Queens 4 at Paladins game table, puts his feet up and thinks only another week until vacation...... aaahhhhh

just some ideas Mac

[mac5732]

A new day, a new week, ahhh only 5 wrkg days to vacation to rest these weary bones. Mac plops his tired frame into his favorite chair at his table, places and order from a FBW, leans back and looks at the quiet cantina. Hmmm, quiet day, everyone must be on vacation, he thinks as he pours the potent orange juice down his dry parched throat. He see that Taz wiping down the glasses after feeding what looks like Piranhas in one of the large fish tanks, hmmm, guess we know where the Geo's head remains went..., Paladin still sitting at his cornor table contemplating his next chess move, hmm, someone appears to have painted a wool bear on the Kissing Gnu picture over the bar he observes, oh well, at least is quiet and cool in here,

relaxing mac

[ July 22, 2002, 18:31: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[geoschmo]

Geo sat at a table with his back to the wall keeping a close eye on Dogscoff. He had come very close to storming out of the bar the moment his third head had finished sprouting. Only the excellent customer service of Taz kept Gt from losing a valuable customer.

First he was given several drinks on the house. Well, he was told they were on the house. Knowing the Big Cat's galactic level of tightness with the purse strings, Taz had actually put them on Dogscoff's tab. That old sea bag will never know anyway, he's always too sauced by the time it comes to settle up.

Next Geo was provided with a Kevlar turtle neck sweater, with titatnium plate inserts, to keep Dogscoff, or anyone with similer ideas from doing anything else silly.

So there Geo sat, thinking just about everything was ok. Now if he could only get this smelly octopod to relinquish it's perch on top of his newly formed head. Apparently it had grown quite fond of living on Geo's body, and was not showing any interest of leaving. It wouldn't be so bad he thought, if he could just get it to stop moving it's little magic marker mouth every time he talked in such a mocking way. That was very annoying, thought Geo.

[dogscoff]

By way of apology (and maybe to improve the flavour) Dogscoff promises Geo something special to eat. Upon Dogscoff's approach, the octopus hops merrily down from Geo's scalp, smiling broadly with his magic marker mouth and making affectionate little scampering motions around the ocean-king... "Awww, how cute." thinks Dogscoff. Then he whips out the trusty samurai sword, and in a flash of steel reduces the octopus to so much sushi. He arranges the delicay on a plate and offers it to Geo, making sure to select a piece for himself first so he doesn't get stuck with a funny- tasting magic-marker bit.

[Puke]

puke passes down a tray of wasabi and a bottle of soy sauce.

[Growltigga]

WHAT'S UP?
WAAAAASSSSSAAAAAABBBBBBBIIIIIIII??
That's cool.

Growltigga tightens the toggles on his eLastic underwear just in case he laughs too hard

Now, despite Dogscoff being the resident joke in the Cantina, Growltigga decides to get in touch with his feminine side and tell a few jokes to lighten the mood and break the ice with the FBW....

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "darling, what do you think the neighbours would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied."

BOOM BOOM

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart"

BOOM BOOM

"He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded."

MWA MWA MWAAAA WAAAAAAA

"Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The
guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice within himself, trying to reassure him:

"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the Last. And you're single. Let
it go......"

But invariably, the other voice inside his head would bring him back to reality:

"Dave, you're a vet...."

Growltigga retires to "the upstairs room" surrounded by adoring, amiable and athletic FBW's

[ July 23, 2002, 10:38: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[dogscoff]

Indulging in a friendly exchange of "horrific pain with blunt objects" with his old pal Growltigga, dogscoff suddenly stops the game and tilts his head to one side.
"Can you hear something?"
"No." Says 'Tigga.
"Can't you hear that noise?"
'Tigga listens carefully. "There is no noise."
"Exactly." Dogscoff steps out into the beer gardens and produces a small pair of field glasses. After scouring the horizon for a few seconds, he hands the glasses to Growltigga. "There. That black and white lump on the other thread."
Growltigga spies the distant object. "What is it?"
"It's one of those remote miming stations."
With that Growltigga produces some horribly convoluted piece of weaponry and carefully aims it at the station...

[Puke]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
Growltigga decides to get in touch with his feminine side and tell a few jokes to lighten the mood and break the ice with the FBW....
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Puke reaches over the bar to where the Paladin's firearms have been stored, and snags one before Taz can disembowl him. aiming directly at his own temple, he squeezes the trigger. to Puke's disappointment, the only result is that a small flag pokes out of the muzzel, spins around and unfurls. the enscription reads "BANG"

sullenly, Puke returns the firearm to where he found it.

[geoschmo]

Geo thinks this is hysterically funny, having been a huge fan of warner brothers cartoons as a youngling. While Taz is busy scolding Puke, Geo reaches behind and grabs the gun Puke just replaced, or so he thinks.

Thinking to play a prank he stands up in the middle of the room and says, "Hey everybody, watch this!" and snickers at the great laugh to be had by all at the flag about to comically unfurl. Unfortunatly he grabbed the wrong gun and proceeds to blow off his own head.

He body drops to the floor in a heap. If it had a mind at this point, undoubtedly it would be thinking something along the mines of, "Oh bother. Not again!"

[ July 23, 2002, 16:45: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[PaladinOfEarth]

:: Stands slowly, Resignedly ;:
Excuse me mac,
:: Walks over to the mess that was Geo's head, Picks up his gun, Takes a towel from the counter, wipes it off, Retrieves his other gun, (the one that had the safety on and produced the Bang!), Screws the silencer on, Turns, Puts 4 bullets in the wall, Left, Right, Top, Bottom of the Dart Board, Each hole less than an 8th inch from the board and perfectly placed at 90 degrees around the edge. Glances at Puke, looks down at Geo corpse, Mutters something about “Playing with Guns” Walks quietly back to his table moves a pawn, States “Check”, “Mate in 2” in a matter of fact way ::

[mac5732]

Mac, slowly recovering after a night of hell, a T-storm came thru, knocked out his fuse box, fried 2 fuses so bad they melted to the guts of the box, luckly he had just hurriedly turned off and unplugged his computer just before, as l of the fuses was the line his "baby" (computer) was hooked to. Didn't get jury rigged until after midnight, had withdrawl syptoms all night after not being able to converse or play, made Mrs M miserable with his whining of not being able to use his comp before going to bed, and now an electrician coming out to fix with an outrages price of course, the infamous fuse box. Time to put in circuit box.. sigh, more expense... Besides Mrs M has been hounding him for years to put one in and he didn't, and she voiced her displeasure in a most wifely manner, now its time to pay the piper. Mac looks longingly at Paladins weapons, shakes his head, orders a stiff double of CC and ginger, sees poor Puke, orders him a Triple, sees Geo's headless body flopping around, orders a quadruple for Geo and has a FBW pour it down the opening on top by the spinal cord directly into his blood stream http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif , orders a sassperella for Fyron who he sees working profusly at his computer, sighs, walks back to his table, slouches down in his seat and watches Dogscoff play around with his fishy adoring public, locates the meowing noise from the cornor where the Tigga is trying to download something on his computer but apparently not having succcess as he keeps pulling his fur out in frustration and spitting out tremendus size furballs... ah well, glad for the olde/new cantina, where one can relax with normal, everyday friends http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

a slowly recovering mac

[ July 23, 2002, 18:45: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[tesco samoa]

tesco wonders what kind of bar he is at.

No longer a pub it seems.

Tesco will be staying on the patio were it is less 'blow and smash things up'.

And before Tesco leaves he introduces Geo to Arther Dent.

[Growltigga]

Tesco, this sort of slapstrick place is exactly what we find relaxing...

Growltigga and Dogscoff sit down to peruse a rather thich manual packed full of weapons specifications.

[Saxon]

Fellow bashers,

I have returned from the torrid climes of the Gold Coast and have dutifully submitted my turn. Sorry for the delay.

[Trajan]

&lt;Trajan wanders into the bar, waving to Tesco on the way in, and sits down at comfy stool ordering a cold Bass Ale from Taz&gt;

It has been a long work week (and it is only Wednesday). As the director of marketing for my company I am tasked with a corporate renaming project and I am getting the snot kicked out of me every time step into an office to discuss possible names. People are really nasty when their "pet" name isn't one of the ones being considered.

On the brite side, I am happy to report that there has been some real progress on the Newsletter project under development for this forum. Zenbudo has designed a terrific masthead which appropriately defines the name of the rag.

Anyhow....

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif to everyone (with or without a head) in the bar.

[Growltigga]

Saxon disappears under a pile of cantina regulars who all jump on him to welcome him back

Good to see you back Saxon, glad to know you survived the Gold Coast, would you reccomend it as a suitable holiday destination?

[tesco samoa]

http://www.theonion.com/onion3826/infograph_3826.html

wow turn 2 of the bash game.

And it is not 2005

[mac5732]

Welcome back Saxon, to see that you have successfully made it back without incident, is most glorious news, (as the FBW proceed to bestow upon Saxon's countenance welcome embraces)Tesco, in appreciation for Saxon's return and continuation of the Bash, tells the Taz to fill the Saxon's glass on his tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Turn 2 Yahooo

just some ideas mac

[Gryphin]

For those interested trivia,
The same company that brews Guiness owns Burger King.
London-based Diageo, the world's largest liquor company, has long said it planned to unload Burger King in a sale or spinoff.
The move is part of Diageo's strategy to concentrate on its much more profitable business of making and selling alcoholic beverages. The company's best-known brands include Smirnoff vodka, Johnnie Walker scotch and Guinness beers.

[Growltigga]

Welcome to the wonderful world of the mega-corporation.... do you know that the World's largest maker of contraceptives, also makes Scholl sandals, barbecues, rubber goods generally and even cutlery

[Trajan]

Another good example of a multi-national corp. dominating it's verticle market areas is ConAgra Foods. To quote Hoovers.com

It is the #2 US food company (behind Philip Morris' Kraft Foods). ConAgra Foods is #2 in US frozen foods (behind Nestlé USA), and with brands including Butterball and Armour, is #2 in US meat and poultry sales (after Tyson's IBP). It is one of the country's largest food service suppliers and offers shelf-stable foods, seafood, and dairy products. More than 30 of its brands, including Banquet, Chef Boyardee, Healthy Choice, and Van Camp's, each top $100 million in annual sales. ConAgra also makes and distributes agricultural products and food ingredients; mills flour and corn; and trades food commodities.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Don't Forget Procter and Gamble...now there is another big guy. Again from Hoovers

P&G is the #1 US maker of household products, with 300 brands in five main categories: laundry and cleaning (detergents), paper goods (toilet paper), beauty care (cosmetics, shampoos), food and beverages (coffee, snacks), and health care (toothpaste, medicine). It also makes Iams premium pet food and PUR water filters and produces the soap operas Guiding Light and As the World Turns. About half of P&G's sales come from its top ten brands; it is shedding weaker brands that don't have long-term growth potential. The company bought hair products giant Clairol (Nice & Easy, Herbal Essences, Aussie) from Bristol-Myers Squibb. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Cheers!
Trajan

[mac5732]

and they complain about Bill Gates and Microsoft, shhheeesss, talk about monoplies,
learned something about the corporate world today, tks

a learning Mac

[Growltigga]

Personally, I boycott all Procter & Gambol products (or those I know about anyhow) cos they test on animals

ie test cleaning products and make-up etc on animals (I am not talking about medecines here)

[Puke]

Ah yes. General Electric, maker of fine household goods, and the M-137 gatling machinegun.

if you could actually get a Guiness in a Burger King, I would probably patronize them more.

[Gryphin]

" General Electric, maker of fine household goods, and the M-137 gatling machinegun"
GE, "We bring good things to life"
I belive they used to make the triggers for nukes.

[tesco samoa]

I do not support or buy products from

Nike, Gap, (most clothing stores )...

but you have to buy some cloths some time so I just stick to simple, perry elis, stuff like that ....

[tesco samoa]

Puke you could make a buger king meat patty taste like a pint of guiness chemically speaking.

[tesco samoa]

Replacement player needed for Small Universe game.

Go check it out at PBW....

[Puke]

my t-shirts come in a 10 pack from any department store. although Hanes may seem to be an unasuming brand of clothing, they are actually a fearsome multinational megacorporate conglomorate, rooted the tobacco industry and responsible for seamless hosery, now they cant wait to get their hanes on you.

but i digress. pour me another pint, and it better not be guiness flavourd mystery-meat.

[tesco samoa]

just to bring it all up to speed.... tesco orders everyone a beer and puts it on saxon's tab...

[DavidG]

Originally posted by tesco samoa:
just to bring it all up to speed.... tesco orders everyone a beer and puts it on saxon's tab...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Cool thanks. How bout a few orders of wings too?

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz notices DavidG ordering an order of wings - since the type of wings has not been specified he prepares every kind of wing he can find...

Let's see: Chicken wings,turkey wings,bat wings,wings off airplanes,water wings,Detroit Red Wings...

(Be careful what you ask for in THIS place http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )

[Saxon]

Cheeky bugger that Tesco Samosa, thinks that just because he is from Ontario he can put things on other people’s tabs. Well, what can you expect from someone named after a British supermarket and an East African snack food.

As for exploiting the world through multinationals and clothing purchases, you can always avoid the problem by going to a tailor. A bit old fashioned, I will admit, but it works. Of course, one could argue that I am just as exploitative as you, or even more so. After all, I still get my clothes made in the third world, but I cut out the middle man and don’t provide an income for the marketing department (sorry Trajan).

Do not go to Ghana for a vacation unless you are looking for a cheap place to sit on the beach. The only other things to do are to visit the old slave castles and buy fabric for your lady friend, or friends in the case of Gryphin. While interesting enough, it is not enough to keep you busy for more than a day or so. More fun would to be fly into Cotonou, Benin, then make your way west, passing through Togo, Ghana, Cote d’Ivoire, then north to Burkina Faso. Hell, why stop, keep going to Mali and visit Timbuktu and be able to say you have really been to the middle of nowhere. However, that would cost you a lot more than sitting on the beach in Ghana and involve endless waits at the various borders. A much better option is East Africa, as you can play hot seat SEIV with me, as well as going on safari and climbing Kilamanjaro.

[Growltigga]

Saxon, I think you will find that the East African/Indian anthropological snack you are referring to is a SAMOSA, not a samoa, that is a small south pacific island chain... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Hmmmm.. sunkissed female bodies on beaches in string bikinis or hot seating SEIV with you?

touch one that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[tesco samoa]

tesco is not named after this grocery store in england.

Tesco first heard about tesco when tesco sold tesco.com to then a few years back. ( just joking )

Actually I used to receive about 5 to 10 emails aday from there customers complaining about stuff... I used to reply to everyone one as well..offering advice... I think i was there first Online customer service. And Yes I did receive a nasty gram from there lawyers... but they in turn received a nasty gram from some lawyer friends of me.. and they decided to drop the whole thing.

To make a long story short... Tesco is not named after this supermarket.

Samoa may be from the islands...

But together there my Online name since 1988...

[dogscoff]

Tesco- that new sig... is it a Ren and Stimpy quote?

How does it go..?

"What rolls down the stairs
Alone or in pairs
runs over your neighbour's dog

What's great for a snack
and fits on your back
It's Log! Log! Log!

Lo-og, lo-og,
it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
lo-og, lo-og,
It's better than bad it's good!"

Can't remember the other verses off the top of my head...

[Growltigga]

Dogscoff, the fact that you can remeber the verses you have is sad enough frankly...

Tesco, irrespective of the reasons for your moniker, you must appreciate that you are going to be forever stuck with the connection to one of the UK's premier grocery retail providers.

[Growltigga]

Tesco, check your PM, I emailed my turn to you on Saturday and have only just received the next turn today (can I change my email address?)

[tesco samoa]

i believe you change your email for that empire in the game.... as for pbw you would have to ask the admins....

[tesco samoa]

The web server has not received your turn.

You must reply to the email ( the one that the turn was sent ) with your turn ( the player file )

If anyone else can help tigga.... I am at work ....

[Growltigga]

Tesco, I will try again

[geoschmo]

Tesco, I have contacted Gt and am attempting to assist him. It's slow going as I have to spell most of the bigger words, but I think we are making progress. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Geo

[mac5732]

Mac saunders into the new/old cantina, much relaxed, lst day of vacation, looks around, waves to everyone, tells Taz, in celebrating being on vacation, to fill up everyones glass with their preferences and to put a large milk bowl, full of milk for the large Kat, and for a little extra cost to include that newer ingredient to help tiggas control their fur ball problems, aaahhh yes, vacation....

I shall not be going anywhere, just working at home and hopefully, being able to use the computer a little more then normal, So I'll still be taking my game turns.... and spending some time learning more on mods http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

a very relaxing, refresshed, stress-less Mac

[tesco samoa]

Log from BLAMO.

No it is not that.

POWDERED TOAST MAN.

Tigga do you turns you old wounded fox. ( sorry could not come up with a good mac - erism )

The game is talking forever as it is....... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Growltigga]

Tesco, I am dazed and confused.

I played the turn I was late for (and which was due 27 July) Last night. No problems here but my game did seem slightly scrambled as a couple of ships I had just built were going off on a frolic...

I uploaded that turn, and then immediately downloaded the next turn and played this, and sent back... but I seem to be now being told that there is a turn due 1 Aug and another due 2 Aug...

Help.... all I want to do is dominate the galaxy and crush the empires of my competitors under my heels

[dogscoff]

a couple of ships I had just built were going off on a frolic...
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That'll be my Order Snafu intel projects against you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

=-=-=

Anyway, I need some help and advice, particularly from the UK ppl here.
I'm looking to buy a notebook PC. I don't really care about processor speed, but it has to have a DVD drive, &gt;100meg ram and at least a 14" screen. Oh, and a half-way decent graphics card. I'm hoping to get all this for around £800 - £1000.

Question 1: I know that certain configurations of Dell machine cause problems with SEIV, so I will avoid those, but does anyone know of any other brands I should steer clear of? Can anyone recommend a (reasonably inexpensive) brand?

Question 2: What retailers/ etailers can ppl recommend for the UK? I have just been severely let down by dabs.com and will never order from them again. I wouldn't touch PCWorld & similar with 'Tigga's, and I don't really know of any other reliable hardware distributers. Can anyone make a recommendation?

Oh, and I'm kind of hoping to make an order/ get it delivered this week=-) Don't ask for much, do I?

[Growltigga]

That'll be my Order Snafu intel projects against you

Yeah right, is this an example of Dogscoff's famous time compression technology being utilised on turn 4 of our game to CHEAT??? (or just to let you eat more poo?)

My Dell notebook has had no problems with SEIV
A friend has recently bought a Compaq which he says is the rat's nadgers

Re retailers, avoid Tiny, ComputerWorld, Time and PCWorld

Leave 'mine' out of it

I now buy all my computers overseas

[dogscoff]

Yeah right, is this an example of Dogscoff's famous time compression technology being utilised on turn 4 of our game to CHEAT???
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Are you saying that intel projects are cherating? can you really be so sure I'm not acting against you? Perhaps you should start researching intel, just in case...


I now buy all my computers overseas
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">you mean you go abroad and buy them or get them shipped to you from abroad? If it's the latter, can you recommend an overseas company?

{Light bulb above head} Actually...
I'm going to Germany (Munich) next week so maybe I should see what prices are like over there. Don't know how much time I'll have for shopping though. Also, how easy would it be to change all the settings from German language to English?

German ppl: What kind of notebook spec could I get in Munich for 1200 - 1500 Euros?

[Growltigga]

Are you saying that intel projects are cherating? can you really be so sure I'm not acting against you? Perhaps you should start researching intel, just in case...

I am not saying that intel is cheating at all, only that you are cheating if you have researched intel, built up a meaningful capability to actually run projects like order snafu's on me ALL BY TURN 4

you mean you go abroad and buy them

Yes, although I am slightly misleading you. I bought my home PC from MESH. Very nice peice of kit for a very good price BUT the after sales support has been very disappointing.

My laptop was bought in Japan.

[geoschmo]

Heh, don't expect Gt to let that one stand Dogscoff. It's been nice knowing you. I suggest if you have any outstanding debts you take care of them before Tigga's head grows back. And secondly, you really should be more careful with that sword of yours. Some cultures find it very rude to go about thwacking off people's heads, and I know that some people might object to your taking someone's DNA without so much as a please.

Gt, assuming that this bit about the ships isn't all a clever ruse on your part, most likely I'd say what happened is you played the wrong turn. There was a three week lapse between turns afterall, and according to PBW you missed the previous turn alltogether. Likely you neglected to download the current turn and make sure it was in fact the turn you were working on?

Geoschmo

[dogscoff]

I'll be more careful in future... I think I've found a laptop I might buy:

http://www1.novatech.co.uk/novatech/NBSpecPage.html?parameters=stockcode=NNB-010H'&id=2008401449.297515134218730992188284290023148059 844970703125

It's a fairly local firm, and it's a pretty good spec for the money. Anyone know anything about these machines?

[Trajan]

&lt;Trajan steps into the cantina, avoiding Tigga's head rolling across the floor after having been recently separated from its body.&gt;

&lt;Waving to the assebled morning crew, he steps up to the bar and reqeusts, from Taz, a nice hot espresso to help him wake up from his long night of playing the new Version of the DevNull Mod.&gt;

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Trajan

[Growltigga]

Dogscoff is standing at the bar poring over a picture of his novatech notebbook, when suddenly 2 cables lash out of the bar and wrap themselves around his torso, bear traps spring out of the floor and clamp on his feet and a horde of French waiters scamper up and grab all Dogscoff's attendant sea-creatures in order to prepare a celebratory fruit-de-mer (served with a fresh calardi mayonnaise and shallot vinegar).

Dogscoff is pinioned and is completely immobile. Waves of terror course through his emaciated, ****-scared body and for once, even his terminal halitosis is not a major issue for the room..

Growltigga walks in from the back room of the cantina where he has been controlling the robot clone tigga 1.

He walks up to Dogscoff and says "that might have hurt and was not very nice" before unfurling his claws, and revving up the chainsaw...

The next bit is completely censored but you get the gist..

Trajan is horribly sick in the corner, Tesco looks cross eyed as a piece of dogscoff's ear is hanging off his nose, Taz is busily wiping blood off the bar, Mac is looking horribly yellow and all the FBW's have run away in horror.

Dogscoff's most tender and private parts are found later on that evening hanging up a tree in Rutland.

Tigga finishes busily cutting Dogscoff's corpse in a thousand pieces.. he then whistles and summons his army of maneating killer mongooses and lets them feast upon the bits.

"MWWWAMMMWWWAAAMMWWWAA" says the mighty Kat, "Dogscoff may be able to regenerate from a beheading, he may be able to rise from the grave even but he is not going to be able to rise from the mongooses".

MWWWAAAA MMWA MWWWAAAA MWWAAAAA MWWWAAAAAAAA

Au revoir mon amis, no more shall you eat poo and try and lick your own testicles

[ July 30, 2002, 14:26: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[tesco samoa]

Tigga... when you did your turn...it kicked off the auto.... and the next turn was sent to you. So you did that one and everyone else did it as well.... When the Last person completed there turn the auto kicked off again... hence where we are now...

Lap tops === The IBM thinkpad series is fantastic... I am currently using a t23... It has svideo out etc... I do not know what the prices are in Europe...

Everyone else....

Hello... And Tesco challenges Gryphin to a game of bubble hockey ... winner picks up the tab for next wekk.

[Growltigga]

Tesco, am I up to dsate then or have I missed a turn or something?

Yours confusedly

GT

and what is bubble hockey?

[geoschmo]

Gt, I believe you are up to date, other than you are awaiting a turn currently. You haven't missed it or anything, it's just waiting for you to upload.

It does appear that you missed at least one previous turn. That would account for your ships miscreant behavior. But you did not see any of that in the Last turn correct?

Geoschmo

[geoschmo]

Sorry Gt, I think I just realized why you are getting confused. The next turn is due Aug 2, 2002 12:30:34 AM EDT. You need to upload a turn by then. In the email you recieved it will have various timezones listed depending on what timezones the players in the game with you live in. If there is anyone in your game further west than the eastern time zone, it will show their turn due as Aug 1st, because of the time differance.

Geoschmo

[Growltigga]

Well, what happended was that Tesco was chasing me for the turn I think was due Last Friday and which I sent in on Saturday... the turn that came in to my office eddress whcih I forwarded home yesterday had two of my ships having been built and appearing to go off on a frolic of their own..

logically as well, a ship I gave orders to previously and which had a 2 turn journey had arrived so 1 turn must be missing...

I think I am up to date

I think

Save that one turn is missing and in that turn, lord knows what may have happended

EDIT: actually, I submitted my turn to PBW on Saturday and Last night, got an email saying the email had failed. I then uploaded it directly to the site and when I downloaded the next turn, I then found out that 2 ships had frolic..

My brain hurts

[ July 30, 2002, 15:36: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[dogscoff]

Water bubbles up from beneath the floorBoards, until it is almost knee high. Piranhas appear and begin devouring the mongeese, but leaving everything else alone. A platoon of cuttlefish swim forth to collect the 'Tigga trophy. When all the mongeese have been eating, the water and the fish disappear from whence they came.

Back in the depths, a suite of nano-aquatic regurgitation engineers go to work on the piranha, painstakingly sorting the chewed up mongoose bits from the doubly chewed up Dogscoff bits in the mongeese's stomachs. It will be some time before reconstruction can begin...

[Growltigga]

Ahah, the water and the piranhas retreat below the floorBoards of the cantina leaving the cuttlefish struggling with the clone Tiger head. With a whistle, the real Growltigga summons a group of friendly Japanese fishermen who scoop up all the cuttlefish and taken them away to be turned into tasty treats for the orientals... the head is taken back to the cloning vats.. a new squad of crack killer mongooses is brought to the fore and a crack team of beavers quickly concretes the cantina floor

Growltigga pulls out his comlink and whispers to one of his assets 'activate operation nemo', miles away, lurking in the depths like a giant pelagic shark, a submarine opens its bow doors and lets rip a salvo of anti-"nano-aquatic reguritation engineers" torpoedoes into the depths...the torpedoes close in and strike the engineers, busily separating mongoose from Dogscoff, dead one and a nuclear fuelled explosion rocks the kingdom of the deep

Growltigga whispers into his comlink once more "activate operation bird's eye" and with a bLast of searing actinic light, the Tigg-a PLC strategic defence satellite fires its thrusters and then fires its 'fish finger' ray into the deep.. with a bLast, the rest of Dogscoff's former aquatic minions are turned into appetising fish-based battered products for mass consumption in a chiarascuro of light... more profits for Tigg-a PLC await

but back in the cloning centre, a new dogscoff is being prepared, a more malleable and ameniable dogscoff... one who can be manipulated and who will be more flexible......

[geoschmo]

This is getting a bit ridiculous, wot? Next you two will be travelling back in time and messing with each others ancestors...

[Trajan]

&lt;Munching on popcorn&gt;

Trajan sits back in a comfy booth, with a cold Ale in hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other, while waiting for the next episode of..."Death and Dismemberment in the Phong's Head Cantina of Life."

[Growltigga]

Growltigga picks up his comlink yet again and whispers into it 'activate operation jackie chan'

With a ying and a yang, a couple of highly trained ninjas leap up from behind the bar (surprising Taz who didnt realise they lived in the glass washing machine) and throw shuriken at the doubting Geo.

The shuriken stick into his clothing and pin him to the wall.

One of the ninjas takes off her mask and reveals herself to be Lucy Lui. she strides over to the pinioned Geo and takes out a feather, a tub of crunchy peanut butter and some ball bearings...

"This will teach you for casting dispersions on Growltigga and Dogscoff" and the torture commences..

The rest of the Cantina think it is the best cabaret they have yet seen

[geoschmo]

Recovering from his initial shock and realizing he was not hurt, Geo notes with intense interest the approaching Lucy Liu bearing the afformentioned peanut butter tub and feather. Not at all afraid at this point he wonders if he should mention these are the ingredients of one his favorite fantasies. He couldn't have been happier than Briar Rabbit at this turn of events.

But Lucy dear, what are you doing with those ballbearings? Ow! Hey, don't do that...

[Growltigga]

The other ninja takes off her mask and reveals herself to be the hideously ugly one out of "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" and she menacingly starts walking over to Geo holding a fondue set, some industrail detergent, a tub of stockholm tar and holding the lead on a labrador......

[geoschmo]

Ninja's, industrial detergent, and a dog all living in the glass washing machine? Geo wonders when the Last time the health department paid a visit to the Catina...

[Growltigga]

Geo, really,

you would expect to see industrial detergent in the inside of a glass washing machine.. dont you have highly trained ninjas living in your dishwasher? (how else do you think the stubborn stains get removed?) and as for the labrador, he just lives round the back of the cantina and is available for weddings, funerals, parties, bar-mitzvahs etc...

anyhow, you are being tortured by Lucy Lui and the minger so you cannot speak

[ July 30, 2002, 17:29: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[geoschmo]

Geo now wonders how Tigga is able to converse with him even though he has not said anything out loud but merely wondered. But since Gt is apparently psychic he thinks as loudly as he can that "industrial detergent" sounded to him more like something you would use to clean machine parts and wouldn't be suitable for contact with drinking glasses. But he supposes that considering the other stuff he has seen the big cat consume in the past and refered to as food he supposes that Tigga's must have stronger stomache linings than Geo's do.

[Growltigga]

I am psychic.. havn't you lot realised I have been using my mental flailer and my allegiance subverter for the Last couple of months??

Geo, I can survive a good curry, I can survive eating dog, I can survive eating lots of horrible things but I cannot survive american cuisine (what the hell is a corn dog? what the hell are grits?)

[geoschmo]

Corn Dog : Hotdog dipped in corn bread batter and deep fried. Yummy. Can't beat meat on a stick Tigga. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Grits are a bit of a mystery to me as well, but they are more of a regional dish. I do like them with sugar. For most people I think grits are more about what you put on them then what they are made out of per se. But they are made from corn to.

You have something against corn?

Geoschmo

[dogscoff]

A previously-backed up Dogscoff personality, now downloaded into a freshly cloned body (see, we can all do that retrospective life-saving bit, Tigga=-) watches the nuclear destruction of his undersea kingdom and indeed most of the planet- from a cloaked orbital space station. He chuckles to himself that 'Tigga has turned his own homeworld into an atomic wasteland in an attempt to destroy 'Scoff, but without success. He tractor beams the entire cantina into space in an artificial atmospheric field and flies off into the galaxy, away from the now scorched planet to find a new world to re-establish the cantina on. Before he leaves he drops mines all around the planet to prevent 'Tigga from leaving. He's made his bed - let him lie in it.

[geoschmo]

BUZZZZZZZZ. Point of order Dogscoff. Space Stations in SEIV cannot move. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Rollo]

I reckon Dogscoff was using a mod http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif .

[geoschmo]

Geo hangs despondantly from the wall of the cantina covered in peanut butter and soap flakes. Suddenly the shaking about of the Cantina as it is wrenched from the planets surface and hurtles into deep space knock loose one of Geo's arms that were pinned to the wall. Desperatly he reaches to his other hand and trips the switch on his Super Friends fanclub ring with optional temporal field generator. The resulting temporal causality loop takes everyone in the cantina back in time to a point immedietly prior to when Dogscoff cropped off Tigga's head, but miraculously without altering anyone's memory of the events that followed it.

Geo quickly jumps up between Dogscoff and Gt before the events unfold again and offers to buy them both a drink if they will make peace and stop all this silliness.

[ July 30, 2002, 19:23: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[Puke]

gratefull to be back in time, Puke scoops up Geo's bag of dispersions (which is still full and unsacttered at this point) and prepairs to cast them upon any sillyness, should it ensue. Taz turns the dishwasher on 'high' lest any unexpected miscreants pop out.

Puke points out to his Viking companion that with the possible exception of combat movement, base movement is unmodable in SE4.

[Rollo]

Rollo points out to the talking puddle at his table that base movement is very well modable in SE4. But let's not get technical here.

*Rollo orders a keg of mead and whatever Puke prefers

[Puke]

puke extends a pseudopod to grasp his pint, and pours some more beer into himself. "yes, but can they WARP" retorts puke, not wanting to actually load up a game to verify his arguement.

[tesco samoa]

Actually Rollo,..

Tesco gave dogscoff an enhanced flux capicitor so he can travel though time quicker http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

We were handing them out on the patio....

For every Tuborg your buy you get a scratchy card for the chance to win a flux capicitor

[DirectorTsaarx]

Director Tsaarx steps in, followed by a dozen "TIB" (Timecops In Black) agents, hands out citations all 'round for improper use of flux capacitors and confiscates Geo's Superfriends ring for analysis.

"I'd neuralyze all of you, but that would just further muddy the streams of time, not to mention the increased tachyon pollution."

The TIB agents then walk to the stage, revealing their true identities as the greatest (presumed dead) musicians of the past 50 years, and soothe the savage beasts of the pub with music. The Director, meanwhile, is trying to figure out why there are Tribbles hanging out with Taz...

[geoschmo]

Geo thanks Puke for taking his dispersions and offers to give him his reservations as well if he would like them. He hands over his superfriends ring willingly to the TIB men, as anyone knows the superfriends ring with optional temporal field generator is only good for one use, and he hasn't been a member of the super friends fanclub anyway since the nasty business with the restraining order filed against him by Wonder Woman. He hands Taz a few quarters to keep the washer running and then asks DirectorT if the TIB Mosters of Rock band take requests, and if so he'd like to hear "Freebird".

[ July 30, 2002, 21:01: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[DirectorTsaarx]

Originally posted by geoschmo:
Geo thanks Puke for taking his dispersions and offers to give him his reservations as well if he would like them. He hands over his superfriends ring willingly to the TIB men, as anyone knows the superfriends ring with optional temporal field generator is only good for one use, and he hasn't been a member of the super friends fanclub anyway since the nasty business with the restraining order filed against him by Wonder Woman. He hands Taz a few quarters to keep the washer running and then asks DirectorT if the TIB Mosters of Rock band take requests, and if so he'd like to hear "Freebird".<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Any request you like except "Freebird". Or "Stairway to Heaven." Well, maybe we'll play some new Versions of Stairway. And if you hold up your lighter long enough, and keep the flame high enough to set off the sprinkler system, we might consider playing Freebird.

[Stone Mill]

Stone Mill wonders what the heck the bartender has been serving, as his brain "feels tingly."

Maybe he should not have ordered by saying, "I'll have what they're drinking."

He kills the time by passing along a horrible Star Trek joke:

Q: Why was Spock so upset with Kirk?
A: Kirk kept leaving the Captain's log in the officer's restroom. How inconsiderate.

Stone Mill winces.

[ July 30, 2002, 22:54: Message edited by: Stone Mill ]

[dogscoff]

I am not saying that intel is cheating at all, only that you are cheating if you have researched intel, built up a meaningful capability to actually run projects like order snafu's on me ALL BY TURN 4
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well I'm certainly not going to disclose sensitive details about my strategies, but be assured that I'm not cheating in any way. Ever. You should definitely research intel though, and start scrapping some of those research centres ready for intel facilities, too.

[Growltigga]

Well I'm certainly not going to disclose sensitive details about my strategies, but be assured that I'm not cheating in any way

Unfortunately, I cannot take any assurance that you are not cheating until you confirm how you have been giving orde SNAFU's to my ships when (a) it is only turn 4 and (b) you havn't met me yet!!

[Gryphin]

&lt; Quietly listening to *all busting going on &gt;

&lt; Lifght Bulb goes off in my head &gt; Oh yeah, I'm playing against humans. Note to self: Have Intell ready and built up before first Close Encounter. Thanks guys!

[dogscoff]

Unfortunately, I cannot take any assurance that you are not cheating until you confirm how you have been giving orde SNAFU's to my ships when (a) it is only turn 4 and (b) you havn't met me yet!!
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Of course I'm not snafuing you 'Tig, I'm just tugging your tail. I have absolutely no idea how or why your ships are acting funny, I just thought I'd wind you up. Worked, too, by the look of it. Lol!

*Dogscoff strides across the bar and whips out his trusty samurai sword, decapitating Growltigga in a single deft blow. The feline head bounces across the room, an angry snarl frozen upon the face. Dogscoff hands the head to one of his octopus lackeys, with instructions to have it stuffed and mounted on a trophy board which shall be inscribed "to commemorate the sanity-snafu 'Tigga-bait".

While he considers where to hang his new trophy, Dogscoff injects the headless body with a special compound created from Geo's DNA, and orders some popcorn to accompany the amusing spectacle of 'Tigga's furiously growing a new head.

[tesco samoa]

Tesco goes back in time really quickly.... Removes TIB from the history... Everyone please delete all TIB reference from this tread... Thankyou.

Yea I know the polite canadian says please when he erases you from history..... ( the erase comes from the irish in me) both cultures would probally prefer it if you erased your self from history by drinking yourself into a stuper in the cornor...