Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Timstone]

Yeah! I've got the 1000st post!! Jippie!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

And the 1001st post! Sorry people, I couldn't resist. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

dam you timstone and your infernal gearbox!!!! Growltigga should have had the honour of being the 1000 post, the great furry feline will not be pleased! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

Hahaha! Me rebel!
And besides, he said he couldn't log in for a couple of days.
The great furry feline won't mind... I hope.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:

*walks up to puke and shouts peanut*<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">As Rags walks into the Cantina all he hears is 'peanut'... He then looks to the corner as he sees timstone peeing... He walks up to timstone and asks; "What the h-e double hockey sticks are you doing?!?" timstone looks oddly at Rags and simply says.... "Well, he did say Pee Nut..."
Rags just shakes his head and walks away trying not to laugh.

He next walks out the back door and hits his head on dangling feet. He looks up and realizes it's the feet of, Puke, Tigga, and RD, hanging from the gutter. He notices that they are running out of room on the current gutter so he pulls his fold away ladder out of his pocket and quickly puts up another gutter. He then starts to think; "Man, I wonder what's so great about the gutter..." He then puts his head in the gutter and looks down. He notices that you have a great view of the FBWs chests from this high up. "Wow, now I see what's so good about being up here...."

[Puke]

Originally posted by Timstone:
And the 1001st post! Sorry people, I couldn't resist. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Puke looks up from the gutter, and sees a mob of Folsom Street Fair rejects barrling towards him. Obviously 'size queens.'

As Puke runs past Timstone, he remarks "gee, i could have sworn there were more than 9 Posts on this thread"

Dashing into the parking lot, puke jumps onto a knotted rope (high tech, eh?) and starts climbing up to his nausea-styled battlemoon. "Theres your tip!" he shouts down to Barry, whom promptly begins dispatching his persuers.

[Timstone]

Timstone just stands on the parkinglot and doesn't understand why the mob is being dispatched by Barry. At first he's a bit amused with the hopeless fight of Barry against those stupid villagers, but it gets dull very quickly (He already knows who's going to win). Then he casualy walks into the bar mumbling "He DID say pee-nut." to himself. "Ah heck, what am I still doing here? I'll beter get going and earn me some money." He pays his tab and leaves.

[Gryphin]

Timstone , I can't belive you posted 1000, and 1001!l You are in trouble now....
Wait till GT finds out...
You better get a head start.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
You are in trouble now....
Wait till GT finds out...
You better get a head start.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah man... BIG head start... Well... You could avoid the running and become the best hide and go seek player ever (in 1987) like the one on the news Last week. They just found her body Last week in a closet in some building. (False story, it's a joke that goes around)

[Taz-in-Space]

...Now that the action has died down some, a smiling Taz walks back behind the bar and puts away his chainsaw...

D: "Why are you chasing me anyway, I forgot?"
GT: "You lost the cantina. Someone sawed a hole in the floor and the whole cantina vanished, remember?"
D: "Yeah, but I'm not at fault. It's whoever was holding the saw you should be chasing. Hold on, what's that on your fur... is that... sawdust?"

Hope GT didn't mind that I got some sawdust on his fur when I said goodby! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

He did ask me to keep up the cartoon violence! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

Well folks, best to order your drinks now - the Cantina will probably close in another 500 Posts or so... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Baron Grazic]

Well in that case, while the Cantina is mostly empty, and only until the next visitor comes in, the next round is on me. The reason, the birth of my second boy, due in the next day or two.

Taz, fill MY mug up will you...

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Baron Grazic:
Well in that case, while the Cantina is mostly empty, and only until the next visitor comes in, the next round is on me. The reason, the birth of my second boy, due in the next day or two.

Taz, fill MY mug up will you...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hey first off, congrats man. Have fun with the long nights trying to keep the kid from waking up. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Secondly, give me a beer Taz.

Thirdly, since the Cantina is probably closing in another "500 or so" Posts, are you guys going to have another poll as to what the new name should be? Or you just sticking with the one you got now?

[Baron Grazic]

Very easy round - only 1 person to shout. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Thanks Ragnarok & I'll see you all in 2 and a half weeks with the good news... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

Mind you by the time I'm back you guys will have reach the 1000 post and this topic will be closed. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Timstone:
Hahaha! Me rebel!
And besides, he said he couldn't log in for a couple of days.
The great furry feline won't mind... I hope.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Timstone, I am here. I am always here. I am the eternal cantina patron and you, my little Dutch 'I have my finger stuffed in the dyke' chap are in a whole world of trouble.

Growltigga pulls out 4 shuriken and throws them nailing TImstone to the wall. Growltigga summons the crowd of overweight aging poofters and points at the prone Timstone.

"Boys, it is your birthday, ENJOY"

[Timstone]

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH It's the aging Village People!!!!!

[Puke]

whats the deal, the forum has a 1500 post per thread size limit?

[dogscoff]

whats the deal, the forum has a 1500 post per thread size limit?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No, we just like an accasional change of scenery. And it also amuses us to completely destroy the cantina every 1500 Posts or so before either rebuilding or moving on to some other drinking establishment.

[Timstone]

You are strange people.

[dogscoff]

We're strange? You're the one with a kangaroo dressed in a clown outfit trying to shove vegetables up your bottom.

"What?" says Timstone, and turns around.

Sure enough, a Kangaroo in a clown outfit is attempting to probe TS with a very firm looking courgette. His pouched is stuffed with various carrots, cucumbers and a marrow that would bring a tear to anyone's eye.

TS screams and runs from the Cantina. Dogscoff looks at the vegetable-wielding marsupial and makes a mental note to only eat meat products at the Cantina for a few days...

[ October 04, 2002, 11:55: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Dogscoff, I hereby promote you with immediate effect to senior executive vice president of Tigg-Scoff PLC in charge of everything the Great Kat himself doesn't fancy doing.......

I thought I was the ONE in the cantina with a warped and bizarre mind but I am most pleased to see that you are as mentally unstable as a kangaroo making passionate love to a spacehopper!!

BOING BOING BOING oh cripes, why is that clown abusing Taz's spacehopper??

[tesco samoa]

Which TS...

[Timstone]

This TS.

[dogscoff]

I thought I was the ONE in the cantina with a warped and bizarre mind but I am most pleased to see
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Heh. Thanks 'Tig. I guess it must have something to do with the hallucinogenic compound in the Tribble wings. The dosage is very low, but I keep having to add more coz the flying monkeys keep stealing it...


Dogscoff, I hereby promote you with immediate effect to senior executive vice president of Tigg-Scoff PLC in charge of everything the Great Kat himself doesn't fancy doing.......
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">*To celebrate his new promotion, Dogscoff lights up a fat cigar. Predictably, it explodes in his face and the Kangaroo Clown (or is it a Clown Kangaroo?) can be seen sniggering guiltily in the background. Less predictably (but only a little) Dogscoff pulls out a gun and shoots the hippity hoppity bastard in the head.

The rare urge for some not-so-cartoon-violence slaked, Dogscoff can finally enjoy his new status as EVP.

[tesco samoa]

I thought I was TS...

Well I am off to the Patio...

I am TS out there...

And yes I am bringing the j-box with me...

And yes that is a Plasma TV being installed in the hottub...

And yes it is set to the NHL Channel..

[TerranC]

Who thinks the NHL will be fun this year.
Nobody? I thought so.

*Sees Tesco Samoa throwing something large and sharp at his direction*
*TerranC quickly ducs the atlatle.*

And on another note, Foot ball isn't foot ball!

*Sees everybody throwing atlatle from all directions*

*Before his moment of doom, TerranC guesses wherefrom all these atlatles came from*

[sachmo]

What a week. Taz, I need a glass of pure orange juice and one of those cute little girlies to rub my back. I'm so overworked!

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by TerranC:
Who thinks the NHL will be fun this year.
Nobody? I thought so.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Nothing against hockey fans. But I don't like it. It's boring to me. I think maybe if I'd sit down and finally understand the rules of the game it might be ok, but I don't see myself doing that anytime soon.

[Growltigga]

<uttering deep profound sigh, rubbing aching brow and wearily sighing further> Growltigga looks around at the drooling north americans in the bar and trys to explain AGAIN why football is soccer and not US football.

Think about it boys, in US Football YOU DONT HARDLY EVER KICK THE BLOODY BALL

[dogscoff]

Hmmm... Let me guess, you've been watching "the Young Ones" again haven't you?

Vivian: "Do not stick head out of train window". I wonder why...

*Thunk*

[Growltigga]

I have not been watching the Young Ones at all.... (wasn't it Bernard O'Grady with the world's largest bogey? and didn't Rick (spelt with a silent 'p') get the accoldae for the world's silliest bottom-burp??

The trivia machine is great, how is this one for a wonderful piece of trivia:

"BALL THROWING

The further distance a standard 155g 51/4 oz cricket ball was thrown by a girl was 2.28m (7ft 6inches) slighter longer than the length of a standard house door, by Maureen Felcher. The throw was made whilst playing for the South African National Ladies' Cricket Team against Zimbabwe in 1988, and was rewarded by a standing ovation from the crowd"

[Gryphin]

Hmm, GT posting on a Sattudday. Is this new or is he just boared at home?

[Gryphin]

Q, Re your missing planet:
You can post a "Missing Planet" add here. I'm sure GT is willing to put a pic of it on the side of one of our products. Maby even a poster on the wall

[Growltigga]

Gryph-meister... I am actually in the office working on a Saturday.. how'sa about that for dedication or stupidity, I have resigned and they have refused to accept it (can you beleive that and when I asked them what incentives they were going to make me stay, they said we will think about it and can you do this rush job for us)

I AM A BONA FIDE PRO TANTO MUPPET OF THE FIRST ORDER AND NO MISTAKE AND THEN SOME....

DOHHHHHHHH

I love this trivia machine...

Here's a rude one

"HIGHEST LUNCHBOX PRESSURE

The greatest internal pressure sustained in a pair of happy sacks is one of 65 atmospheres 955lb/inch sq or approximately 49,900mm of mercury at sea level, in the wobberly dangley bits of veteran pop singer Sir Cliff Richard, following 45 year build up without being used....

This is equivalent to 6 times the pressure currently bearing down on the hull of Titanic and it is estimated that should Sir Cliff Richard get frisky and let loose a jizzbolt, the reult could attain a peak altitude of 335m 1100ft comfortably clearting the radio mast on top of La Tour Eiffel

Do I get moderated yet?

[Taz-in-Space]

...Hmmm, Taz notes that GT's mind seems to be a tad LOWER than the gutter recently http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ...
...Could it be that the SEWER GOD has gained a NEW follower? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif
Or maybe the trivia machine needs to be placed in the Gents Room! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

Attention: For your enjoyment and edification, the Cantina has installed at great expense a Trivia and Fact Machine.. please collect tokens at the bar from the Tazmanian Devil...

This is a highly amusing and erudite experience for all cantina patrons.

For example, I was staggered to find out the following from the Trivia Machine in its 'Guiness World Book of Records' section

"The Most Evil Bottomburp

The most pungent flatulation ever was dropped by Balthazar Beauty of Babylon (knon as 'Fartarse' to his owner, a mature pedigree Newfoundland dog owned by a Miss Eileen Sidebottom of Dartford, England. The 63.4kg (140lb) canine had just eaten six tins of pilchards, eight tins of tripe, washed down with a gallon of milk when it dropped its guts on BBC TV's Record Breakers programme. It is estimated that the reultant gaseous emission could permeate a building three times the volume of the Millennium Dome with a putrid aroma of rotting cabbage, Frenchman's breath and sewer gas.

It took Dyno-rod 3 weeks and approximately 600 man hours to clear the smell from the studio, and some members of the audience are still suffering side-effects to this day. Mr Charles Gurney-Campion from Hampshire described the canine giffing as "so strong it made my ear wax melt"."

The other fact I particularily like was this one:

"Most Vicious Motion

The stickiest motion ever produced was a stool passed by driving instructor Wolfgang Ubergruber of Frankfurt, Germany. After being stuck in a traffic jam for 5 hours in the hot summer of 1976 with nothing to eat but a 4lb box of dairy fudge, 2 bottles of 'Bitburger' beer and a 5lb bottle of sauerkraut, Herr Ubergruber went to the toilet. THe resultant excrement was so viscous that eight full rolls of toilet paper, approximately 1600 sheets, were needed before he attained an even vaguely acceptable level of bottomly cleanliness. He also managed to read 3 short novels whilst enjoying the experience.."

Beats a jukebox anyday

[Growltigga]

ALL HAIL THE SEWER GOD.

I watched that Blade II movie Last night on video.
I dont beleive this line,

"You are human?"
"Barely, I am a lawyer"

Give us legal eagles a bad name.

Anyhow, despite my new found allegiance to the Sewer God, I shall refrain from any more sub-standard smutty remarks

[Growltigga]

"Awwwww" says GT being carried shoulder high by assorted FBW's into the 'special' office marked 'den of inequity, dungeon of pain, rehabilitation centre and petty cash', "I really quite liked that sewer outlet I stuck my head in, there were lots of interesting wriggly things in there I was making friends with and I was getting some quite intelligent conversation as well.."

The door slams and after a few seconds of deathly silence, Growltigga's voice can be heard hysterically pleading "not the eggwhisk, not the eggwhisk NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

Taz, happily testing the quality and potency of the beverages behind the bar, considers to himself that Growltigga should really have been more generous to the FBW's in the Last round of pay reviews....

A whirring sound can be heard coming from the petty cash department and Taz realises WHY the FBW's were so keen on him to fix that extension cable to the hand held blender

[Raging Deadstar]

*The screams of GT are heard throughout the cantina*

*An FBW comes over to RD, smiles and asks him if he wants to have some fun*

"Well yeah sure"

*Notices the kitchen appliances she is so innocently trying to hide behind her back*

"Actually, i'll think i'll pass..."

RD realises that perhaps he should have been more specific when giving the fbw's instructions, unless the gryphin position involves blenders i'm sure they arn't being friendly!

*GT can be heard shouting "OK i'll give you a rasie, just don't use the blender ther...yaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooowwwwwww"*

[Raging Deadstar]

*The screams of GT are heard throughout the cantina*

*An FBW comes over to RD, smiles and asks him if he wants to have some fun*

"Well yeah sure"

*Notices the kitchen appliances she is so innocently trying to hide behind her back*

"Actually, i'll think i'll pass..."

RD realises that perhaps he should have been more specific when giving the fbw's instructions, unless the gryphin position involves blenders i'm sure they arn't being friendly!

*GT can be heard shouting "OK i'll give you a raise, just don't use the blender ther...yaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooowwwwwww"*

[Gryphin]

Steps outside, mentions the state of GT to Barry.
Steps out of the way.

[Gryphin]

Watches with a wry smile as Barry makes a bee line for RD, (soon to be RD RIP)

[Raging Deadstar]

uh oh

*runs for his life as barry takes chase, hurdles over a table, leaving mac shaking his head muttering sumthing about young ones these days, slides across the bar, knocking glasses into the air, leaving taz to cartoon style catch them all. Hurdles out the window and into the parking lot, followed closely by the dinosaur*

Wait!!!!

*dream sequence happens as he tries to make barry remember all the times he's been nice to him, patching him up after dogscoff blew him up, feeding him clones and stuff

Barry smiles, then hocks up a huge hairball and dumps it on RD, barry walks off into the sunset with his tail swinging. Raging Deadstar goes on board his ship and gets some new clothes and re-enters the cantina, muttering some obscenites under his breath at gryphin

"I meant to tell the fbw's to give him a "good time" not to endanger his chances of reproduction in the future!!!"

Sits down and wonders why barry has hairballs???? maybe that synthetic hair those clones have are bulding up inside him

[ October 06, 2002, 17:41: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Growltigga:

I watched that Blade II movie Last night on video.
I dont beleive this line,

"You are human?"
"Barely, I am a lawyer"

Give us legal eagles a bad name.

[\QUOTE]

Gee, I quoted that line twice now and you didn't noticed or didn't seem to care. And now you whine about it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif
Anyway, it IS the truth. But it is also the truth that this world is helped witht the exsistence of those same damned leaches. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

:: goes out to Barry, Gives him some Super Hair ball desolver, Mentions all the times RD has been bad to him, Steps out of the way ::

:: Note to RD, I don't need the FBW's ::

[Raging Deadstar]

LOL, i was reading this cartoon once and it had the line where the devil was trying to get a new job.
"How about a laywer?"
"I do have a soul, just a very small one"

Hmm the sewer god is back? I thought i smelt a disturbance in the "force", i just dismissed it as puke http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

I think GT found a drain in the gutter and put his head down there
*Pulls GT's head out of the drain, he begins to go on about a bottomburp or something*
OUICK, Get some FBW's over here, treat him to the Gryphin Position or sumthing!!!

*The finest FBW's all pick up GT and proceed to take him back to his office*

If that doesn't bring the furry feline back round i don't know what will

[tesco samoa]

Quick quizz..

What is your all time fav. cover song

Mine is

All along the watchtower--- Bob D.

Done by Jimi H.

[dogscoff]

Best cover Version I know of has to be the skapunk Version of "Rivers of Babylon" by Snuff.

http://www.snuff.net/

[Timstone]

I have no favorite all time classic, but at the moment I really enjoy Moonlight Shadow from Groove Coverage.
Not entirely my music, but it reminds me of some very, very good moments.

[Growltigga]

Growltigga sticks his head out of the petty cash office...

"Best cover would be "Just a Gigolo" by Dave Lee Roth..."

Growltigga is yanked back into the office, the door slams and all can hear the gibbering, maniacal hysteria of Growltigga shouting "not the garlic crusher! not the garlic crusher! yes you can have luncheon vouchers as well.. OK OK OK you can also have a non-contributary pension and a wear and tear allownance on feather boas, leather miniskirts and sequined lycra tops.... not the cheese grater not the cheese grater NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar comes in burnt, walks over to gryphin and hands him a singed piece of paper, a bill for a tailor*

Thats for my clothes, No-one told me Barry Could BREATHE FIRE!!!!

Either that or those clones not only give him hairballs but indigestion too!

*Everyone gasps as growltigga appears from his office, unharmed and with a beaming smile on his face. The lot of the FBW's costumes are messed up and they are all holding some "toys" none of which look like kitchen appliances*

"Ahhh thats what he meant by the cheese grater" sighs mac with wisdom from the corner

Those FBW's don't half know how to bribe you Growltigga, then again with that treatment anyone would bow to preassure over such small demands.

Then again, if those "toys" arn't kitchen appliances, what the hell was taz using one of them as a "blender". I think i'll lay off the cantina food for a while.

[Gryphin]

Cover song? What is a cover song?
The one song that I have considered "My Favorite" is "Country Roads Take Me Home", John Denver. That has been since I was a teen.

If you mean currently, that would be a song by the Bellemy Brothers with lines:
"Though her body is imortal I love her mind,
Because she uses it to love me,
I love her mind."

If that was TMI remember you asked.

[Captain Kwok]

A cover song is a song that you are not the original artist of, but perform it for whatever reason.

[Gryphin]

:: Head moves slowly like the turret on a Battle Cruser, Eyes fix on source of interuption, Wonders if the being realize how close to death it is ::

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
:: Head moves slowly like the turret on a Battle Cruser, Eyes fix on source of interuption, Wonders if the being realize how close to death it is ::<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Stop acting like a Terminator. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

Growltigga makes note to self.. DO NOT EAT THE TARAMASALATA OR THE GUACAMOLE.... especially not if the FBW who brings it to you is smiling

[Taz-in-Space]

if those "toys" arn't kitchen appliances, what the hell was taz using one of them as a "blender". <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif Is NOT blender? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif
Then why 'Vibration' on high do such good job? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
FBW give me as gift! So I use... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[tesco samoa]

worst replies ever ..........

to cover songs...

[Raging Deadstar]

*Backs away from Gryphin, whos eyes are now flashing red*

Ok Ok Ok, calm down, i'll pay *gulp*

Taz, please refrain from using that blender from now on, we don't know where its been, or the more worrying thing is maybe we do.

Then again is that a bad thing.....

Sorry, spaced out for a minute there

GT, I think you should run the FBW's through "quality training" again

[ October 08, 2002, 18:26: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

Originally posted by tesco samoa:
worst replies ever ..........

to cover songs...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Try: Worst question ever.

[mac5732]

Mac, after seeing all the commotion with the working tools of the FBW being undermined with the confines, walks over to the bar phone and places a call, then goes over and sits at his table.

short time later:

Enter stage left, runnning thru the entrance with Barry hot on their heels, comes a wave of FBWs pouring thru the door, they immediately run up to all the patrons in the cantina, especially GT, and proceed to pummel them with a very large variety of TROUT. After they have satied their thirst for revenge, they throw Barry all the bloody trout, which he quickly devours with a large toothy grin, they then walk over to the current working FBW and yell out so everyone can hear, WE ARE THE FBW UNION, AND WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYONE ANNOYING, PICKING ON, LUSTING AFTER, OR IN ANY WAY BOTHERING OUR SISTER FBWs... WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT.... AND THAT BIG MATTED, FUR BALL GT, BETTER GIVE THEM A RAISE OR ELSE.. After hugs all around with the working FBW and giving the groveling GT a few more smacks with trouts still laying around on the floor, they, walk out.

Mac who was hiding under the table, unscathed, gets up, looks around at the fish scales and internal organs pLastered all over the cantina members, orders a drink from a Fishy smelling Taz, and walks out onto the patio.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[ October 08, 2002, 20:13: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Gryphin]

:: Steps from the invisbilty screen, Walks up to mac, Drops trout inards in his drink :;
Emails Taz with a new recipe

[ October 08, 2002, 20:55: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Gryphin]

:: Arm shoots out, Performs a Random Act of Cartoon Violence, Goes back to enjoying his Corsendonk ::

[TerranC]

This is the song that never ends
cause it goes on and on my friends
some people
started singing it not knowing what it was
but continued singing it forever just because

THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS

cause it goes on and on my friends

*More beer! More of Free Taz's Beer!*

some people
started singing it not knowing what it was...

[Gryphin]

"Free Taz's Beerf"?
I did not know it had been captured.

[mac5732]

Taz is giving a way FREE BEER?? where's the line start..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Good old Taz...

just some ideas mac

[Timstone]

Nothing is free here in this wonderfull cantina, don't forget to pay the bill... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[mac5732]

Stage right, Mac, relaxing on the patio, takes a drink from his Gryphin tampered brewski, He gulps, sighs, then jumps out of his chair, turns green, rips off his colostomy bag and spits out un-mentionalble articles then falls flat on his face with a large moan and something mumbled about, "the only one near me was that Gryphin, ooooooo my stomach......, the FBW immendiatly race to his rescue a LH look a like props his poor head in her lap as she strokes his magnificant countenance crooning soft melodies of sorrow in regards to his expareaching experience. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

just some ideas a very green Mac

[ October 09, 2002, 17:05: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Tazis giving out free beer, after all the stuff he "quality tests" and the free stuff GT's profit margin is going to be exceptionally low this month.

*An FBW Runs in and holds a huge trout above her head*

"HAVE YOU BEEN ANNOYING, PICKING ON, LUSTING AFTER, OR IN ANY WAY BOTHERING OUR SISTER FBWs... WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT!!!!"

RD replies meekly, almost hiding under his barstool from this recent display of female rage.

"No No No i'm taken honest, i'm a single women man, honestly!! The FBW'S deserve a raise, they really do! They provide a wondeful service! gulp"

The FBW lowers the trout and pats RD on the head before turning round and heading towards mac, RD mutters under his breath

"Woah! is it time of the month or something?" The FBW Hears this Last remakr and swings the trout

KEEERRRTHHUUDDD

RD comes around dazed and confused http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif
"Why have i got a sore head and smell of fish?"

[TerranC]

I have immunity methinks. After I contributed a vote into the new name...

And plus, Growltigga won't mind that I took some of his "aides" home.

[Taz-in-Space]

Mac who was hiding under the table, unscathed, gets up, looks around at the fish scales and internal organs pLastered all over the cantina members, orders a drink from a Fishy smelling Taz , and walks out onto the patio.. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Darn it Mac, I just got my fur clean from sawdust! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

*More beer! More of Free Taz's Beer!*
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Free beer FOR Taz? Thanks TerranC! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Hey Everybody - TerranC is giving away free beer! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

(TerranC, just remember to pay your tab promptly.
...remember the Last patron who didn't pay! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif )

[Taz-in-Space]

New Special of the Month:
----Fish Innerds Stew----

That's right folks... due to an oversupply of
certain fishy parts we are able to offer this
taste treat at the low, low cost of 10 minerals
per bowl! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

And our very first bowl goes to...
that brewsky loving older gent...
Mac

Eat up Mac, there's plenty more... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

Growltigga walks over to Taz and tries, for the millionth time, to explain to Taz the concepts of marketing and customer satisfaction.

"Taz my boy, you will never sell all these fish entrails by calling it Fish Innerds Stew.. put in a dash of stock, some crab claws and a prawn (we have some that are over 6 momnths old and are beginning to pong) and market it as Bouillabaise"

"Come on patrons, get a bowl of authentic Marseilles bouillabaise here, only 20 minerals a bowl"

Taz is left amazed at the stampede of patrons craving a taste of this French delicacy.....

Growltigga turns to Taz and reccomends that he invest some time in making sure the toilets are fully unblocked before this lot pashes through the passages....

[Ragnarok]

Rags thinks about walking over to the bar and ordering a bowl of this "French Delicacy"... But thinks again as he over heard Taz and GT's convo about Fish Innerds and Crab Claws and Prawn, all of which are almost more then 6 months old. He thinks again and just orders a brewski.

[Growltigga]

which brewski, unbenounced to Ragnarok, has been heavily augmented with flavoured fish innards

hell, we have to get rid of them somehow - kentucky fried halibut's digestatory tract anyone? how about Thai spiced fish bladder?

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff, bored and feeling violent, sifts through the cantina's archives looking for a good practical joke to play.

Finally, he enters the Cantina, headbutting a Bill Gates clone on his way in.

"Hey 'Tig, what's the opposite of Yun?"
Tig looks confused, but doesn't want to admit that he doesn't know what a Yun is. "Umm... unYun?" He replies.

Immediately a trapdoor opens above 'Tig's head and a huge pile of unYuns falls out and buries him.

[Ragnarok]

That was a classic one D... Very clever. Too bad I didn't think of it myself. But kudos to you for coming up with it. Cheers...

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff gratefully accepts Kudos from Ragnarok, and wonders what you're supposed to do with it. Eventually he decides to drink it.

*Slurp*

"Mmm... good stuff. Thanks Rags."
"Actually, it's for external use only."

*Suddenly, Dogscoff freezes in place and his hair stands on end. He rigidly keels over sideways and hits the floor with a crash.

[mac5732]

The Look a like LH FBWs roll mac's hospital bed into the cornor, with the poor, sexy, lovable, older genteelman looking green and expirating various items into a large wash basin. As they pass the bar, Mac looks at Taz, smiles weakly and asks him for a nice cold brewski to help wash down the after affects of "The Gryphin Special". Clutching the brewski carefully, the FBWs push him into the cornor where he can observe the activities going on within the cantina, while he re-cooperates from his Gryphin experience. He pleasantly turns down the offer to indulge in the new French cuisine being offered for consumption within the confines, He warily looks around to try and locate the infamous Gryphin... Not in sight,... a diabolical smile appears on his upper torso, ahahah, yes the Gryphin, there's an old saying, "pay back in kind...." hahahahah, ohohohoh, he looks around for the Paladin, doesn't see him in the cantina at present, sighs, leans back and watchs the arriving EMS try and do something for Dogscoff who's internal organs have unleashed themselves upon the flooring of the establishment since he is unable to move or control himself. He wonders if GT will add the clean up to the Scofs tab.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
He also begins reading the Cantina Rule book to see if there is anything about "Immunity" for members of the cantina...

a very green mac

[ October 10, 2002, 17:56: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Gryphin]

:: Sends an email to mac, Kudos on the great thread, "favorite and least favorite weapon". (attached is a file title, "Liz Hurly Look a LIke".exe)

[Wardad]

Claim: The latest thing in the world of fashion, thanks to Elizabeth Hurley: sequinned xxx hair extensions!

Read on at: http://www.snopes2.com/spoons/noose/hurley.htm

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

As Mac is slowly recuperating from "The Gryphin Special", he is utilizing his Lap Top Computer, playing SE4 and reading his email. He sees a msg from the Infamous Gryphin as to Kudos for his thread and a attachment for his dream mate Liz Hurly.aaahhhhh, Good Old Gryhphin, he's trying to make amends for his despicable, atrocious act. He hurridly cliks on the Liz Hurly site sent by the Gyphin in eager anticipation, he breaks out in an anxiety sweat, drooling as the screen begins to flicker..ahhhh, then, A stunned look comes over his countenance, an evil darkness covers his usualy happly go lucky smile, he looks again and yells... THAT &^%#^&%#*^%$* GYRPHIN !!!!! Taz, RN (Ragnarok), Raging Deadstar, TerranC and other members come rushing over, "whats up mac" they yell, Mac, unable to speak points to his computer screen, and there in all its LIVING COLOR GLORY is A PHOTO OF SAXON KISSING A LONG NOSED GNU... BUT WAIT, THATS NOT ALL, IN THE RIGHT TOP CORNOR IS A PHOTO OF WHAT COULD ONLY BE ANOTHER COLOR PHOTO OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE "THE GRYPHIN'S" NAKED, BENT OVER, MOONING BUTTOX, WITH THE MSG, "VIRUS ENCLOSED" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, as the other members stare in agast horror, Mac's computer lets out a tremendous laugh from its speakers and then self distructs....as the ashes of what once was a expensive laptop fall onto the table, several FBW run up with cell phones with calls for Mac. As he answerws each one, more ^%#*^%$(&^%(*&^ and other type noises are heard uttering from his anatamy. "Now what" asks WarDad, Mac looks around and retorts, that G..D... Virus was sent out to all my friends and burned up all their computers and now they want me to pay for them.... UGHHGHGHGHGHHGHGH,,,GRYPHIN.... WAIT TIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

a plotting mac

ps... WarDad I have enlivend myself of your link to learn more on my dreammate, I most profusiously thank you. At least I did that before my computer disintergrated....

[ October 10, 2002, 19:24: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Ragnarok]

After RN(Finally, letters to call myself. I never could figure ones out that no one had) gets over the shock of what horrible act gryphin did to the good ole mac. He tells gryphin, "Man... it sux to be you right now... mac is not happy and you're going to get your butt kicked for it..." RN walks out of the Cantina just laughing at the though of how badly gryphin is in for it...

[mac5732]

WHERE'S THE KAT" Yells Mac,,,,, ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER "CHASE", "A GRYPHIN CHASE' OH YAH....
Let loose the dogs, unchain the ocean minions, unfetter the killer gooses, warm up the kambolbolizer, heat up the raging T-Rexs, unlock the undead, dig up the roaring cartoon characters,........ COME ON TIGGA, Barry already put on the saddle and is biting at the bit, unloose the hounds for the "Gryphin Chase"...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

As Mac recovers all the used colostomy bags from the local hospitals, writing THE GRYPHIN'S NAME ON THEM... packing them away next to a very large slingshot with a scope.. OH YAH, yells Mac as he puts on his spurs, saddles his rambunctious Giant Gryphin Smashing Killer Gerbil.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Mac opens up boxs marked Top Secret and hands out the new invisibility and human heat seeking goggles to one and all, which makes all those invisible, now visible and marked for all to see

WHERE IS THE KAT?????? A CHASE HAS BEEN REQUESTED.......

A most hidious and Dastardly Deed has been conjured by the "Infamous Gryphin"

and to boot, THE LAP TOP WAS ON LOAN FROM THE TIGGA AND THE INSURANCE HAD LAPSED....

[ October 10, 2002, 20:13: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Gryphin]

:: Watches from on high as RN's laptop explodes in flames :;

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
:: Watches from on high as RN's laptop explodes in flames :;<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pulls out his handy dandy, no not notebook, well sorta... But pulls out his handy dandy acme laptop in a box, shipped via overnight ups. Says; "Oh it's on Gryphin, it's on now buddy. Just wait till this chase officially begins. You'll get yours... I promise you that..."

[Timstone]

Yeah, he will gets his part of the fun, but when will that be? The Kat is a bit slow, he's old you know. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Run while you can Gryphin!

[Gryphin]

TS, Run? You run to find me. I'll watch, it is kinda funny the way you waddle :;
:: Appears out of no where, Drops a load, Watches as it splatters on TS, Blinks out just as quik :;

[ October 11, 2002, 00:14: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Growltigga]

The swing doors to the cantina kitchen are smashed aside, HALLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO goes the pink clad Growltigga, astride Barry the armour plated fire breathing savage evil nasty and eternally hungry T-Rex, arrayed behind formidable Growltigga are a plethora of vicious looking cartoon characters, hollywood B list celebrities, ravaging packs of tigers, killer mongooses, demented giant squid, lobsters clutching chainsaws and for some reason, a small puffin called roger. Behind them stand the 1st battalion Royal Marines, the cast of Friends, Fraser Crane, Benny Hill, Jimmy Hendrix and the entire play list from the Woodstock festival, all clutching hammers and chanting "you're gonna get your ##### head kicked in", finally, amassed quoirs of cherabim and seraphim are circulating round the roof of the cantina, parping on their little horns and looking like they need a good rumble, Growltigga gives a signal and the FBW's push forward a special Patriot anti-Gryphin missile battery....

the rockets fire, Gryphin is brought to earth and suddenly, with trumpet of his bugle, a strumpet in his saddlebags and a crumpet in his mouth, Growltigga shouts "TAAALLLLLLLYYYYYY HOOOOO" and the chase is on

[Gryphin]

:: Watches as they run past him in his invisiblity mode Sprinkle the road with ACME Tire Flattener Tacks::

[ October 11, 2002, 13:27: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Growltigga]

and fails to notice that Growltigga is holding an invisibilty-disapparatation field which stops Gryphin's invisibility mode working, adroitly avoiding the acme tacks, the whole hunting posse turns and faces the now visibile Gryphin who, natuarally, faced with such a ravaning horde, cacks his pants...

"Parp" and "twoot" canbe heard eminating from the Gryphin's jollies as he turns and runs off... only inches ahead of the hunt and disturbingly close to Barry's fangs and Growltigga's executive tickler

[Gryphin]

:: With a bemused grin Gryphin turns and faces the onslaught ::
Gryphins do not run.

[mac5732]

As Mac is reclining on his bed and recovering from the dastardly conniptions of the "Infamous Gryphin, he smiles at the scantly dressed, sexy nurses wheeling him around behind the Pack chasing El Gryphin, he picks up his new, hyper speed reactionary super dooper pooper bLasting slingshot with scope, he very carefully pulls out a 2yr old colostomy bag (full to the brim), inserts into the receptical, sees the Gryphin, running away from the pack after GT dissolved his invisibility, takes aim, and lets fly....,
The Gryphin is struck in the middle back and the colostomy bag disitegrates upon impact flooding the Gryphin's countenance with its contents...Now even if he tries to be invisible again, he will still be able to be tracked http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif , the chase continues, Mac smiles.....

a recovering Mac

[Gryphin]

:: Shielded by the Cartoon Violence screen, Gryphin Launches himself at GrowlTigga, Encompasing him in the shied as well ::
It is now Grphin to Kat Fur to Feather

[ October 11, 2002, 14:37: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Growltigga]

But unfortunately Gryphin fails to realise that Growltigga IS THE MASTER OF THE CARTOON VIOLENCE SCREEN, and the screen fails to shield Gryphin as he is buried under an onslaught of T-Rex, chorus line dancer, cartoon character, B List Hollywood celebrity, mongoose, tiger, giant squid and royal marines... bits of Gryphin come flying out of the bundle whilst Growltigga lights up a large cigar and proceeds to sip brandy from his hip flask....

suddenly, a rather full brown bag of s@@@ flies into the ruckus and strikes Gryphin sqaure on the face, which is a bit upsetting for Barry as he was trying to enjoy the Gryphin poisition with Gryphin at the time, all the huntspersons run away holding their noses goes "EEEwwwwww" as a battered Gryphin stands, covered in caca

[Timstone]

Ah, grose! El Gryphin is covered in doggydoo. :puke:

My head still hurts from that anvil! I'll get the garden hose and wash that stinky goo from his face, that way we can molest and desecrate him a bit more. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

:: A low ripping noise eminates from The Un bowed Gryphin, Slowly a 100 % transparent outer skin peels off, A very clean and refreshed Gryphin stands amused ::

[Growltigga]

just in time to receive Mac's 6 year old aggregated double size double full hyper compressed especially sloppy 'able to permeate any membranous outer layer' colostomy bag slap bang in the face....

the space around Gryphin widens as people move away, holding their noses and trying not to wretch, a gas masked clad fbw proceeds to shove gryphin out of the cantina with a very very long handled broom

Gryphin is pushed out into the carpark, smelling like a decaying skunk and looking like a large jobby

[Gryphin]

:; A bemused Gryphin Materializes behind the crowd, Watches as he hovers over head, Wonders how the great Kat fell for a Clone, Sheesh, Out of nowhere a cartoon meteor smahes into the gathered cloud, Even the mighty kitty can't avoid being squished ::
The Gryphin Grins

[Timstone]

Timstone gets to his feet and turns in the direction the meteor came from. He sees Gryphin with his ultrasilent jetpack floating in the sky.
Timstone shouts that the Gryphin has been spotted and that the chase must begin anew! Forward brave Kat, get that Gryphin guy!

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff, tinkering with a new breed of giant radioactive penguin (Not quite as dangerous as giant squid but far more amusing) in his battlemoon's lab-ocean, is alerted to the commotion down on the cantina.

"Trouble again."

He orders the battlemoon to rotate toward the planet, pointing his core-mount "random effect transmogrification gun" at the general area of the cantina.

"This should be fun..."

*KER-ZAP!

[Growltigga]

the tranmogrification beam hits with a mighty zap...

Growltigga is turned into a handsome sexually experimental good looking handsome strong mighty and powerful tiger - oh not much change then then

Gryphin is turned from a 3 dimensional Gryphin into a 2 dimensional flat Gryphin and is promptly rolled up into a spliff by dogscoff and smoked......

[mac5732]

As Mac looks on in amused Horror, he sees the Kat transformed into a volumputous, sexy, gorgeous, Tiger. But wait something doesn;t look right.. what are those..hmm, something is amiss he perseives. Mac gets out his handy dandy, micro magnifing spyglass and peers at the Tigga...Oh my, Oh my,, "The Dogscoff's in for it now right along with the Infamous Gryphin", he states, for as he looks at the tigga, he notices certain protrusions on the upper torso of El Kat, He also notices other now apparrant differences, GT has been transformed into a sexy and gorgeous Tiger alright, However, he is now a FEMALE TIGER WITH ALL THE TRAPPINGS..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
Mac quickly looks up at Dogscoff's Battlemoon hovering above the cantina, I feel an additional chase and repercusions coming... OH myyyyy, he mutters to himself as he loads his new Tri-Barrel, cosmic, ever ready, colostomy enhanceing cannon. He see the Gryphin over the automatic Gryphin finding sites, he pulls the trigger and 3 dozen, old, used , full, colostomy bags impload on the Infamous Gryphin, distinterating and deluging the Gryphin and all his mechanical trappings, which in turn short out, leaving him in the parking lot of the cantina, wet, s....y and helpless,

[Growltigga]

Marvellous, wahey, I always said that if I had breasts, I would never leave the house!!

[Gryphin]

:: Steps out from behind dogsoff ::
don't you know smoking pesudo grypyins is bad for your health?
:: Takes item, puts it out in dogsoffs hands ::

:: A second Grphin steps out as the one now covered in Coloto bombs dissapears ::

:: A third Grypin steps up beside the cute striped kitty, verfys the gender ::
The Gryphin Grins

[Raging Deadstar]

Growltigga, thats just scary, just think you'll never be able to molester any of the FBW's anymore *watches as GT begins to realise the seriousness of the situation fall in*

*Watches amused as Mac begins selling all his old colostomy bags for fertilliser to the local farmers who, ooaar, got lost on the route to the vegetable contest held by the redneck bar down the road.*

Boy are they getting desperate... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

Mac sees the Gryphin clones materialize out of nowhere. hmmm, where's TerranC, isn't he one of those who helped install that Bill Gates Clone machine in the cantina. I think he needs to check it as it appears to have been tampered with and is now putting out Infamous Gryphin Clones http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif .

Since he sold all his old colostomy bags to the farmers, Mac looks around for something new to splatter the Gryphin, as he looks around he hears a loud and mighty yell from the area of where the Gryphin & the Kitty are located........,

[ October 11, 2002, 18:52: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Gryphin]

gryphin laughs, they don't realize that those arn't clones and that the Real Gryphin has not been touched
The Grypnin Grins

[Gryphin]

:: As He falls A vidio of GrowlTigga spiking macs brewski flashes up in full holographic projection, A second holograph showes GT sending an email to mac followed by the laptop bursing into flames, As the pack rushes toward him, he slips into his invisblity mode and steps aside, watching as the pack runs by ::
:: The Gryphin Grins ::

[Growltigga]

reality checked called for, reality check called for

Gryphin, YOU KNOW THE CANTINA HAS A CLONE BANNING AND ERROGENETIC MACHINE... NO CLONES ABIDE IN THE CANTINA, YOU HAVE NO CLONES,

now take your licks like a man for cripes sake

Growltigga, sadly given his new 36F cups, triggers the internal cantina "reforma-sex machine" and is pleased to see the breasts disappear and the FBW's are delighted to see the 'rod of iron' appear instead

[Growltigga]

Ha ha, not deflected by Gryphin's pathetic attempts of deception and subterfuge, Growltigga, proudly astride of the armoured and be-fang-ed Barry, looking like something terrible out of a godzilla movie, backed up by hordes of humourous personalities, assorted wildlife, royal marines and others (and for some reason, a chorus line as well), takes off in pursuit of Gryphin crying "TALLLLYY HHOOOOO" and "TARANTARATATATATATAT" and "CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE CATS OF WAR" and "SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO ROADKILL, COS THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE BLEEDING GOIN' TO GET MATE"...

The hunt charges off, closely following by a bedridden Mac, being pushed by Faith Hill Liz Hurley, Shania Twain and Britney Ferries, all dressed up in their best nurses' outfits

someone at least is having a good time

[tesco samoa]

As we all know it is the fall in the northern hemisphere.

I personally wish to invite everyone out to the patio to witness the lovely colours of the trees as they turn colours.

Natualy of course this will be watched while holding on to a pint of ALE. As Ale is a fantastic beer where the roboust taste and spicey flavours will go well with fall.

Sponsering this event on the patio will be Daleside Brewery from Starbeck - Harrogate - UK
www.dalesidebrewery.co.uk (http://www.dalesidebrewery.co.uk)

We will have the following beers on tap by that company

Old Leg Over... ( I am drinking one right now )
Monkey Wrench
Spiced Morocco Ale.

For our friends from the east who no longer wear the vikings helmet when working but only when playing we offer Original Pinkus Alt ( which i will be drinking next )

[Ragnarok]

Man Tigga, I was hoping you'd keep those things a bit longer. I thought maybe you could make some money for the Cantina by opening up a stand that says, "'Touch Tiggas Tits' for 5 bucks. 10 bucks if you want to touch AND squeeze them."

You missed out on a business chance dude.

[mac5732]

My good Tesco, I thank you for your generous offer, however, I must disfuse at the current time due to the fact that I am in a Gryphin Bashing rendition due to a dastardly deed procasted by the Infamous Gryphin upon this poor lovable, peaceful, generous old soul. Upon completion, I shall be more then willing to inbib myself of your generous offer and reflect on the wonders of nature forsoothe while relaxing on the patio and enjoying various brewskis. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

(stage right) Mac powers up his new advanced Gryphin Bashing Machine extrodinaire, locates the Real Gryphin hovering over the parking lot of the cantina.... He slowly adjusts the sights and pulls the trigger.... splat, poof, squish.... the Gryphin is immediatley undulated in 50 cream pies with a dozen large Fyron Trout thrown in for good measure.... The Gryphin falls to the parking lot concrete and is immediatly set upon by thousands of fruit flys, gnats and yellow jackets who are all trying to obtain the contents covering said Gryphin, ow, ohhh, ouch, yells the Gryphin as he is bitten and stung by the peskiest pests known to man...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas mac

[ October 12, 2002, 06:11: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Gryphin]

They are not clones.
:: The Gryphin Grins from far, far away ::

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz lazily watches the familar cartoon violence in progress, while polishing the already gleaming bar. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

He does take the time to place a few more air fresheners around the bar and turns the air recycling equipment to HIGH. He doesn't remember this much s*** hitting the fan in one of HIS cartoons! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Time to activate the nano-sized tracking devices he placed in Gryphin's Last drink.


..click..


Raising the mike to the cantina loudspeaker system he informes everyone in range of the tracking frequencies.

Let's see Gryphin try to evade the hunt now...

[ October 13, 2002, 06:18: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga looks cross eyed and then expectorates rapidly, looking askance as Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa (who is he), Liz Hurley and a large bomb fly out of his mouth to land on top of the retreating Gryphin....

Growltigga dives behind a handy bunch of sandbags as the bomb goes boom and watches in delight as Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, Liz Hurley and Gryphin all fly up into the air...

Taking his shotgun, Growltigga lets loose in true skeet fashion and nails the king, hoffa, hurley and Gryphin in a torrent of buckshot

"Yeeeehhhaawwwww" yells Tigga, "this is as much fun as strip twister"

[Gryphin]

:: Bends over to give the pretty kitty a good target :;

Jimmy Hoffa was linked to Organized Crime. He "dissapered" when he was going to testify.
(I think that is right), I do know he dissapered.

[ October 13, 2002, 15:25: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Growltigga]

seeing Gryphin mooning in all his glory, Growltigga pulls out his trusty red-hot poker hand cannon (as used by the baby eating bishop of Bath & Wells) and lets loose a fiery incandescant shaft of metal right up Gryphin's gloryhole...

the resulting scream can be heard across the galaxy as Gryphin shoots skyward on a pillar of flame and singed rectal muscles

[tesco samoa]

Ouch http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

blowing smoke off the muzzle of the "red hot poker hand cannon", Growltigga turns round to walk back into the cantina...

"Hmmmm", thinks the great Kat, "time to check how that furry varmint Taz is doing on credit collection, if anyone's tab is over 500 minerals, not even his ability to savage and mutilate small animals and to turn into a dwarf whirlwind are going to stop a 'red hot poker up the jacksy' incident"

The music from "Fistful of Dollars" drifts across the cantina

[Raging Deadstar]

*Jumps up from seat clutching backside*
OUCH, That hurts just thinking about it, thats definatly a breach on cartoon violence restrictions (is there such a thing http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif )

Gryphins face about now http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

*The music changes to jaws, taz looks around scared, shaking his head from side to side, trying to find Grolwtigga. Scene cuts to random images of GT's tail appearing up from behind objects and following taz, music gets louder when taz turns around, to be dwarfed by Grolwtigga who looms over him*

This should be verrry interesting, spin taz, spin for your life

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, lurking high above the cantina and unaware that he is now "bugged", fails to notice the patriot anti-Gryphin sneeky sneaker seeker missile streaking down from high orbit.. with a cartoon-esque kablooie, Gryhin is shrouded in actinic fire and falls to the ground..

Growltigga, clad in floppy hat and plus fours, walks over and places a golf ball on Gryph's nose, cursing his inability to tee off without taking almighty divots from the earth, Growltigga grips his trusty mashie niblick and lets swing..... on the ninth attempt, he manages to actually hit the ball (rather than Gryphin's head) and yells "Fore" in the traditional way

[Gryphin]

:: As another holographic image bytes the dust, The real Grypnin beams in from no where right in front of GrowlTigga, Turns off the Cartoon Violence Switch and back hands the pretty kitty with a trout, Wait, a trout? where did that come from, Thinking fast Grypin slaps the pretty kitty arcrose the other side of his face, As the kitty opens his mouth in rage, Gryphin shoves the trout into the gaping maw, Then shoves further and further till he is in the kittys mouth, Oh my god, it is Elvis Presily, and Jimmy Hoffa!, Oh no, it is Lizz Hurly and she is saying something about a "Big berda bing berda bang" and lighting a big round black object that looks like a cartoon bomb in the kittys tummy, I'm outa here.

[Growltigga]

Growltigga, doing his best impression of a roof-bouncing ninja a la Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, sneeks a look at the tab situation...

Every tab is over 500 minerals......

Taz cowers in the corner of the bar as Growltigga raises the red hot poker cannon...

Can this be the painful end of our plucky hirsute antipodean marsupial barman?

Growltigga is always open to pleading and begging!

[dogscoff]

After paying for some repairs to his battlemoon, (necessitated after the giant penguin experiments got a bit out of hand) Dogscoff has no money left to pay his 875 mineral bar tab.

Desperately, he goes out into the parking area where the recent Tigga/Gryphin cartoon-rules battle has taken place. Bits of munitions and weaponry, damaged steath devices and vehicles, piles of poo and dismembered celebrity & cartoon corpses litter the expanse, covering tarmac and spacecraft alike. A small army of auto-cleaner droids are beginning to tidy the place up.

Dosgscoff chases the droids away with his null space rifle, and begins collecting some of the detritus scattered around the place. After an hour's sweaty work, he has a wheelbarrow full of body parts and excrement. He wheels it into the catina and shovels the whole lot into the mini resource converter. The "Organics" light comes on and the machine duly discharges 873.1 minerals. Less than 2 minerals short!

He digs through his pockets: A bit of fluff, some old fuel receipts for the battlemoon, a couple of plasma grenades, a hip-flask half filled with Vaxin Absynthe, a dog-eared copy of "transmetropolitan", two jars of genetically modified shrimp-ninja assassins, 1.6 minerals in cash, a business card for a Cue-cappan massage parlour, his trusty antique samurai sword, some slinky lingerie designed for a woman with six breasts and a blood-stained beermat with a occult symbols and an offworld phone number scrawled on the back. Now that was a night out to remember, shame I don't remember more of it. Damned absynthe...

With the cash in his pocket he is now only 0.3 minerals short. He takes a moment to decide which would be worse; getting his head ripped off by 'Tigga and Taz for not paying his bill, or losing Pagan Sheila Sixtits' phone number. He steels himself, attempts to commit the 44-digit number to memory, then grudgingly drops the beermat into the resource converter. The blood stains and leftover radiation (Good job they irradiated the sacrifice first that night) yield 0.4 minerals.

Phew, made it, with change to spare. Dogscoff hands the cash over the bar and orders an expensive drink on his tab to celebrate. As a gesture of goodwill, he buys 'Tigga and Taz a drink, too.

[tesco samoa]

Movie recommendation

I just saw a really good movie called

Amores Perros
Drama/Thriller 2h 33 min Mexico Dir. Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu. Three interlinked tales tell the story of revenge, dogs, and death in Mexico City.

Highly recommend it.

[Gryphin]

hate to dissapoint the Kat, but if you review the post, you will find I have not had anything in weeks.
:: The Gryphin Grins ::

[Puke]

i think i saw that, where they steal the guys dog and make it fight? that was a good film.

[Growltigga]

unfortunately, Tigga goes for a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild Mouton de la Pay whih costs 800 minerals so poor old Dogscoff is back to square one

[mac5732]

Duke, Duke, Duke, of Earl..... ooooo hey, hey, hey, should have known it from the very start, keep away from run-a-round Sue.......
(Mac singing, out of key of course,) Mac's medicine is starting to kick in again, as he starts cranking out some sounds....,

He also spies the Infamous Gryphin, Records his most blessed renditions of BUddy Holly, Dion and more, grabs his new Music Defiler Strapping Sticky MusicIzer... aims at the Gryphin, shoots, wham, the Gryphin how is covered in sticky goo with a CD, playing, Mac singing all the top ten hits from the 60's,, he frantically tries to undo himself from this wonderful, beautiful singing voice, but to no avail, he is stuck for the duration with at least one encorre...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

Singing Mac, in his hospital bed, brewskis in each hand, surrounded by adoring Liz Hurly Look a Like FBW's...... all singing..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taking advantage of the distraction provided by Dogscoff, Taz 'borrows' GT's red hot poker cannon and looks around quickly for a place to hide it...
...When no fool-proof hiding place is seen our intrepid Taz EATS it! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

...Soon smoke is pouring out of poor Taz's mouth and he looks for something (almost anything) to drink... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Grabing the nearest drink bottles, he proceeds to try to extinguish the fire raging within... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

...Unfortunatly the alcohol only increases his distress. ( Alcohol does burn! ) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Fire now belching from his maw, the now fire breathing Taz sats alight the bar, including the bar tabs, and anything else within 10-12 feet.

The now red-hot fire-breathing Taz begins to chase GT, figuring that the boss will know how to put out the flames... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

Growltigga, pursued by the hirsute inflammable antipodean barman, reaches into his pocket and pulls out the remote controil for the red hot poker hand cannon......

he triggers it and watches Taz yelp in pain as the entire magazine of 5 red hot pokers, shoot oout of Taz's nether regions, from the inside out, the flames are extinguished and Taz settles down, burnt, sore but happier for it but with extremely tender tender regions.......

Right Taz, as you have destroyed all tabs, it is only fair that you cough up for the 767,000 minerals outstanding through the accounts... I will take it off your pay, that means with your bonus and backdated wages, you owe me 766,494 minerals... how are you going to settle up (and dont stick your tongue out at me)?

Growltigga does Gryphin a favour by walking over to Mac and bashing him into silence with a large mallet

[ October 15, 2002, 11:57: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga scratches his head and asks Dogscoff why all of his anthropomorphic personifications, and large genetically modified hench-beasts and experiments, all hav celtic/gaelic names?

we have had ruargh, diarmid and now hamish!!

are you in love with the corrs or something?

[dogscoff]

Growltigga scratches his head and asks Dogscoff why all of his anthropomorphic personifications, and large genetically modified hench-beasts and experiments, all hav celtic/gaelic names?

we have had ruargh, diarmid and now hamish!!

are you in love with the corrs or something?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, the squid were of Irish descent (Dermott, Ruraigh and Sinead) and the Penguins are all Scots. I would advise you not to take the piss out of Hamish's kilt. I also have two giant laser powered Rock Salmon called Gwyneth and Davyd and a mile-high Gamma ray-squirting mutant Sea-Urchin named Ahmed.

My army of shrimp mini-ninja assassins are all called Wayne (for simplicity, there are over 300,000 of them at the moment) and I also have a half an EEE called Eric.

[Growltigga]

"La dee da, tee hee hee
It's eric the half an EEE
doh ray me, one two three
Eric the half an EEE
I love this little demi-EEE
fast asleep upon my knee
I love him, semi-carnally
Eric the half an EEE"

cue whistling fading and panning left

I will have to introduce you to my pack of killer mongoose, they are all called 'Reginald" except for the one with the two black eyes who is called "Ranjit"...

[dogscoff]

Sorry, beat you to it in the "Can anyone sing?" thread:

A one, two. A one, two, three, four...

{Spoken}

Half an EEE, philosophically,
Must, ipso-facto, half not be.
But since an EEE is energy,
It can't be measured countably. D'you see?

So can an EEE be said to be
Or not to be an entire EEE
When half the EEE is not an EEE
Due to some ancient injury?

{Singing}

La dee dee, one two three,
Eric the half an EEE.
A B C D E F G,
Eric the half an EEE.

Does this wretched demi-EEE,
This non-corporeal entity,
Have only one polarity?
No! it's Eric the half an EEE.

Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
Eric the half an EEE.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric the half an EEE.

I love this brotherly specie,
Bisected accidentally,
When signing a partnership treaty,
I loved him carnally.

[mac5732]

and they talk about my singing, sheeesssse http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Growltigga]

I wasn't showing myself to be TOO sad a bugger by making up lines in a Monty Python song about a dissected SEIV stock AI......

What is it going to be next? "Sit on my face and Ukra Tel me that you love me"?, "I'm a Drushocka and I'm OK", "I like Vrees, they only come up to your knees"? "Let me sing you a Phong to love?"

[dogscoff]

That was a fun thread. I should bump it.

I guess I'd have to com up with a new song first though. Robbie Wiliams?

"... I'm lovin' Minerals instead,
and through it aaaaaaall, they pay for my contruction,
with maintanence reduction,
I can afford to pay it all..."

[ October 15, 2002, 14:24: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga, being a music lover, pulls out his trusty Walter PPK and puts 2 rounds through Dogscoff's forehead

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff pulls the two rounds of PPK out of his armour plated forehead, dissolves them in water and drinks the lot in one.

A strange look immediately passes over his face.
He sings half a verse of the "Rawhide" theme and then keels over on to the floor, snoring.

[Growltigga]

Cripes, thank gods he has passed out, after Mac has given us his Paul Anka rendition and Dogscoff's appalling bastardisations of some of my favourite tunes, what is it going to be next? Taz singing his favourite Perry Como rendition, Ragnarok regaling us with Steps numbers? Raging Deadstar performing as Britney Spears a la schoolgirl outfit, Saxon grooving on to Celine Dion, Gryphin doing his famous Elvis impression (ie dead),

[mac5732]

...DUKE, DUKE, DUKE OF EARL.....,,.DUKE, DUKE, DUKE OF EARL...... WHEN I..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

PS. you should have been in the SE4 chat room Last night on trillian, we were singing up a storm.... oh ya......

[ October 15, 2002, 15:33: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga turns round and puts 2 rounds from his PPK into Mac's colostomy bag...

Lordy, thinks the Tigga, the next person who sings in this cantina is REALLY going to get it

[tesco samoa]

Viking kittens...

http://www.rathergood.com/vikings/

[Gryphin]

I only sing in the shower.
The tunes are by Marty Robbins, "Big Iron", and Jonny Horton
And I'm not dead yet

[TerranC]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*Walks calmly up to Growltigga, taps on his shoulder and promptly pulls out a 12 gauge shotgun and points it in between GT's eyes.*

"NEVER, EVER, EVEN CONSIDER, ME DOING ANY POP SONG, ESPECIALLY BRITNEY SPEARS!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif "

Hey, at least i'm not singing!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Smiles as Taz runs round in a frenzy to collect all the money needed to pay back GT.

"How about you sell hamish to the mc'vities biscuit corp as there new spokesperson for penguin biscuits, then busk to make the rest of the money?"

*Taz nods, slobbering, then runs outside with a guitar, a lot of tourists gather round. Taz strums the guitar and shouts out.*

"YACHETY SHMACETY ROOOOOOOAAAAR BLURP!" The tourists drop lots of valuables and run for their lives, taz collects his "earnings" and deposits them on the bar for growltigga!

"Ummm taz, thats not really busking!" Taz shrugs and goes back outside to fleece the next few customers

[dogscoff]

Viking kittens...

http://www.rathergood.com/vikings/
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh that is so very very cool...

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by tesco samoa:
Viking kittens...

http://www.rathergood.com/vikings/<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That.... That is what the interent was made for!!!

[Taz-in-Space]

...As dogscoff was kind enough to lend Taz the services of Hamish, Taz gives Dogscoff his super-duper ACME cellphone. Said phone is capable of calling 100 trillion numbers per Nano-second. With luck, Dogscoff will dial the correct number sometime within the next millenium. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Taz then teaches Hamish to break-dance and begins to take him from town to town to perform...

The wiser towns and cities quickly decide to create a 'Save the Taz' fund. Donations start to really pour into this fund after the first two towns that Hamish performed in are designated radioactive disaster areas... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Taz also decides to police the parking lot of all those abandoned Battle Moons and other vehicles left there too long by thier owners... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Our brave Tasmanian also charges the planet for stopping the invasion of the much feared Viking Kitten Horde. This was done by getting them drunk and pairing them off with Dogscoff's Ninja Shrimp... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

(any resulting offspring will be sold to the highest bidder!)


After totaling the reciepts of all of the above, Taz notes that he is taking in about 50,000 Minerals a month - at this rate It will only be a little over a year til the bar tabs are paid. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

Fire works worthy of the Cantinna
http://www.maylin.net/Fireworks.html

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
Fire works worthy of the Cantinna
http://www.maylin.net/Fireworks.html<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Those are very nice. Whoever made that did a great job.

[Gryphin]

:: Gryphin thanks the Mighty Kat, Watches the bar tabs burn, Shrugs out of his skin, ::
Wonders why nobody remembers that Gryphins are Part Lion, Part Eagle, and the tail of a Snake. Snakes shed their skin, Through bio engineering, this gryphin sheds everything.
:: Takes the CD, Hones a sharp edge on it, Places weights to give it mass, Throws it like a shriken straight at macs left wrist, The watches as he yelps and drops the brewsky, Splash on the floor ::
:: The Gryphin Gryrins ::

[dogscoff]

Taz, I'm guessing you don't have that kind of money lying around, so you'll have to come up with a way of making a lot of cash very quickly.

I don't know if it would be helpful at all, but I can lend you a slightly used (minor damage) 800ft tall radioactive penguin. His name's Hamish and he's mostly house-trained. I'm sure you could think of some way of turning a profit from him.

*Having previously destroyed the barmat with Pagan Shiela Sixtits' number on, Dogscoff goes back to desperately typing in 44 digit phone numbers.

So far I'm up to 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000012

[mac5732]

enjoy http://www.newgrounds.com/assassin/hamster/

put mouse over each, when done go clik on assassin , find osma bin ladin, clik, go about half way down, find his dance hits or Favorites

enjoy

just some ideas mac

[dogscoff]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif Dammit Mac! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif That Assassin link just sent me into some wierd Porn popup. I don't appreciate that kind of practical joke, I could get into a lot of trouble. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

[Growltigga]

Yeah, Mac, that was not funny - I clicked on the link and the firewall popped up with my IT guy about 3 minutes behind it. Not funny at all.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif I am now being told I am on the 'watch' list and even showing them the Viking Kittens couldn't ameliorate this...

Growltigga summons Barry, calls up his hunting companions and gives Mac about 3 seconds to make appropriate reparations before he gets hunted inot extinction

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff takes a jar of shrimp mini-ninja assassins and loosens the lid...

[Timstone]

I don't know what you guys did, but the link works fine. Again, you are strange people.

[Timstone]

With the Last bit of strength left in Timstone he clicks the ON button of his instant teleporter. He instantly transports ONLY himself (it is registering the quantumresonance of Timstone's OWN moleculs) to his spaceship.
He then procedes through his Fix-Yourself-Quick-O-Beam. He appears unscathed from his spaceship and heads back into the cantina.
"Hmm... now that's some nifty engineering!"
He grabs his Handhe;d Phased Polaron Beam and incinerates the tiny ninja's. Now, that's settled, he goes for a quick beer and then leaves into the blackness of space to earn myself some bucks.

I didn't m,ean to insult you guys, I just meant it as a funny line. Sorry, if you didn't understand that. I say sorry, my apologies.

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff,, who is notoriously hard to offend or insult, can only be truly upset by excessive apologising. He rises from his chair in a furious storm, summoning all the hellish minions of the deep to wreak horrible pain upon Timstone....

... Then sits dowwn again. Just kidding. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

"Phew, Houston we just averted a catastrophic annihilation of our cantina by a clash betwixt hellish minions and demonic minions from Timstone and Dogscoff. We can got our coffee and donuts again." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[mac5732]

hMM, The Link works, after clik on assisin, find the Osma Ben Ladin, clik on his block, then look for his dance or Favorites, I don't know about Porn sites there, Never looked, I apoligize, I never saw this as a porn site, never paid attention to other then the cartoon violence, funny type entries... Are you sure you went to the right place????/

Timstone did you notice if it was a Porn site? Did you find Bin Ladin....? hmmmm

Apoligetic Mac

[dogscoff]

Don't worry about it Mac, I'm sure you didn't mean to post anything dodgy. I didn't see Osama Bin Laden so I clicked one of the other schlebs up there and that's when the porn hit me.

Like I say, don't worry about it, you are totally forgiven.

Of course, honour does require that I kill you. Sorry about that.
*Dogscoff unleashes the remaining shrimp-ninja, who scurry across floor the toward Mac, waving their miniature swords and shouting japanese battle cries.

[mac5732]

If you go back to site, just scroll down and you'll see Osma, clik, will take you to the site, no porn there.....just cartoons...

Mac bows his head and awaits the stampede of tiny little ninjas, He shall take his punishment as do,,,

but he shall rise again.. (he has a small re-generater hidden in his underware) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Singing a Dirge Mac

[Gryphin]

Re the macs link
I am guessing based on the symptoms that this site is set up to draw people there for "inocent" purposes.
The real purpose is to get you to Click Through to the Adult sites
The owner gets paid some amount for every Click Through, (usulay about 5 cents)
Welcome to the Wild, Wild, Web.

[Raging Deadstar]

Hmmm maybe Growltigga can charge people 5 cents for clicking on this cantina thread? Then again that cats got way too much money

[Timstone]

Hmm... if RD is right I really want a share of it! Gimme, gimme, gimme... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

No-one, and I mean No-one, gets their hands on my money..

No way, anyone who tries will get worse than one of Dogscoff's ninja shrimp garroting his testicles by a long way

[Gryphin]

No one?
What about the "Current Mrs. Gt"?

[Timstone]

He said no-one , that's why it is the current mrs. GT. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[dogscoff]

Yeah, well I'm not risking it again to confirm my experience. I clicked the link, then "Assassin", and then I picked a celebrity to assassinate and I got into some kind of pr0n0 browser trap.

And for the Last time, we are not strange.

*Dogscoff releases a few of the tiny, but highly trained crustaceans. "Wanyes, go and show that Timstone who's strange." The ninja-shrimp salute and immediately spring off in Timstone's direction, brandishing ickle swords and tiny wee throwing stars. As Timstone laughs at the diminutive attack, Wayne leaps bravely into his mouth and starts chopping up Timstone's tongue. Meanwhile, Wayne is hacking away at Timstone's achilles tendon while Wayne has made his way up his trouser leg and is making busy on his tackle with a garrotte.

[Gryphin]

I'm sure you guys know,
mac would not knowingly post something like that.

[dogscoff]

Gryph, that sounds like you're trying to deny us our cartoon-style revenge.

*Dogscoff releases five more Waynes with orders to violently assault Gryphin.

[Growltigga]

Yep, that is why is it is the current Mrs GT, unfortunately, she also has a very good memory for account numbers and seems to be a diva at discovering my passwords

[Raging Deadstar]

Yes my friend, a women with computer knowledge is a dangerous thing. GT, Your wife could bring the end of civilisation as we know it.

Think about it, account numbers and passwords!!! That means she has access to all your accounts on the internet and to your bank account http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

No wonder GT demands his profit margin to be high, i mean a women with money is very dangerous, especially with YOUR money, i can't imagine how much he loses per year http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

You know what is more dangerous than a woman with money, heh?
A woman without money! They do EVERYTHING to get their claws on money, no matter the cost... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

The current Mrs GT is a successful woman in her own right and certainly does not need me to finance her lifestyle... she just needs me to pay the mortgage, the finance on the cars, the utility and council bills and her credit card, oh and to fund the new bathroom and extension we are having built.....

I worked out once that it costs about £800 per month to maintain the current Mrs GT, the cost alone in hair extensions is about £50 per month and as for her wine bill!!!!

Grumble, whinge, moan what it means is that the Last 'treat' I bought myself was a £10 CD. I typically spend about £120 per month on myself of which £80 is the fuel and parking bill for work....

Women are expensive hobbies and even when they work themselves, are still expensive hobbies

[Gryphin]

GT, Honest, I had nothing to do with giving her your passwords.

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol Mrs GT is the power behind gryphin!! GT run for it before she converts you to the "dark side"

*Gryphin walks in with a mask on breathing heavily*

[Timstone]

Behind a strong man always stands a strong woman.

Women are often the power behind the throne.

[Raging Deadstar]

Yeah, unless your bill gates, i don't think he has a wife

*repeatedly beats the bill gates clone in the corner* You lucky son of...

[Gryphin]

Bill Gates marred about 4 years ago.
I can't remember who or what. More news was generated about their new home than her.

My mother always said:
"Behind every sucsessful man there is a Woman, Pushing

Old song:
"She who rocks the cradle rules the world"

And as Rudyard Kipling put it:
http://www.windingstream.com/favoritepoems.html#FemaleOfSpecies

[ October 17, 2002, 12:33: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Maybe the current GT is in fact the real force behind the cantina. Myabe she in fact is the leader of the secret feminist Version of the CIA i mentioned in the "thread that never dies"! Maybe, dare i say it, Mrs GT In fact owns Tigg-scoff and GT is just a puppet leader

Arrrhgggghhhhh We will be hunted down and slapped round the head with a huge hadock!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Bill gates married??? Woah i bet its some female android that he will murder by installing windows software on it. Ahh i can just picture it now

*dream sequence*
Mr Gates, would your supreme excellency like a cup of cofee, Ummm I have just performed and illegal operation bzzzzt *bill gates android wife blows up!*

[ October 17, 2002, 12:35: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[TerranC]

Too much damn talk about women!
Too much damn cartoon violence!
Too much Tazs and barrys!

GET THE DRAFT!

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by TerranC:

GET THE DRAFT!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ok, do what he says... Get me a draft. On his tab of course, he offered! *Shruggs*

[TerranC]

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by TerranC:

GET THE DRAFT!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ok, do what he says... Get me a draft. On his tab of course, he offered! *Shruggs*</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No I didn't. Ragnarok, do you really want to get chased again? Methinks I have a few connections, if ya get my drift.

Also, if you should make such comments again, you shall be late. Late as in dead. That's right. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[ October 18, 2002, 04:43: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by TerranC:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Ragnarok:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by TerranC:

GET THE DRAFT!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ok, do what he says... Get me a draft. On his tab of course, he offered! *Shruggs*</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No I didn't. Ragnarok, do you really want to get chased again? Methinks I have a few connections, if ya get my drift.

Also, if you should make such comments again, you shall be late. Late as in dead. That's right. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oooo, did I say on YOUR tab? What I really meant was MY tab. I just wasn't typing right. That's all... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Growltigga]

Hmmmm, due to cashflow problems in the cantina and Taz drinking all the profits (where is that red hot poker hand cannon?), I am seriously considering barring all tabs from the cantina in future..

Those FBW's have to be paid in hard currency you know, as does the booze suppliers

[Gryphin]

Attention:
There is no truth to the rumor that mac was seen with Liz Hurly.

[Gryphin]

Super Idea:
Cantina_AI
Wouldn't a Cantina_AI be a bLast to create and play against? Who wants to team together and do it?

[Raging Deadstar]

I just finished reading the entire old cnatina thread in 3 hours, and my life will never be the same again. As for the cantina ai i think GT's formidable cats should design the name files and help design the ships. After all the fear a whiskas chicken battle ship can drive in to poeples hearts is underestimated, never mind a Kit E Kat dreadnought or the brekkies troop transport. that had me laughing for hours

[mac5732]

Liz Hurly..... OH YAAAA...... JOY TO THE WORLD,

I'LL NEVER TELL (Mac grins)

Mac orders a double breakfast with all the trimmings and puts it all on GT's tab. Have to get it in before tabs are cancelled. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Gryphin I'm willing to give it a try

just some ideas Mac

[mac5732]

How about THE SWILLING BREWSKI BATTLECRUISER

(always has the happiest crews)

just some ideas mac

[Timstone]

But the poorest accuracy. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Growltigga]

Raging Deadstar, you have not even known fear until you have seen a "Purina Chicken nibbles" class assault cruiser hoving into you, closely followed by its escort of "Whiskas Singles with Gravy" destroyers (the "whiska singles with jelly" class are conformed as long range scouts), flanking a "Science Diet Kitten Special" class carrier, launching squadrons of "Domestic British Short Haired" class attack fighters (and maybe even a "Furball" class shuttle as well)

Tremble as the "Domesticus Kitticatticus" class dreadnought blows away its foes, wet yourself as the "bacardi breezer tomcat" battleship smashes all opposition

I am getting carried away...

Raging Deadstar, women can never be sport (except for the athletic ones who can crack coconuts between their thighs).....

Guys, we are on a 5 second countdown to end of tabs following which all must be settled and every other transaction is cash only

5

[dogscoff]

*In light of the imminent withdrawal of all tab services, Dogscoff forms the "Cantina Credit Company."

Open an account with us and we will immediately pay for your drinks in cash, effectively allowing you to still have a tab. We will record your expenditure, add a moderate fee and collect your payment at the end of each month. Unpaid accounts at the end of the month are subject to a 45% APR interest charge.

Anyone with an unpaid account at the end of a second month will be invited to discuss their finances with our "credit enforcer of the month", a highly trained financial advisor drawn from a pool (literally) of various radioactive, enlarged, mutated, cybernetically- enhanced, heavily- armed and very aggressive sea-creatures.

*Kerching*

[Ragnarok]

RN hurrys up and starts bringing in junk to place in the organic converter to get the minerals in order to pay his tab. Which isn't THAT high since he was FORCED to pay it a few weeks ago. He finishes loading everything in and recieves 300,000 minerals for his junk. "Dang, didn't know I had that much 'crap' laying around."
He then promtly pays GT and walks out of the cantina. Crying due to the fact that tabs won't be around much longer.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
*In light of the imminent withdrawal of all tab services, Dogscoff forms the "Cantina Credit Company."

Open an account with us and we will immediately pay for your drinks in cash, effectively allowing you to still have a tab. We will record your expenditure, add a moderate fee and collect your payment at the end of each month.
*Kerching*<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">How big is the fee that you are speaking of? I'll think about this offer.

[Growltigga]

4

and this is a suitable time to mention to all you lovely folk out there in cantina land about the wonderful 'Growltigga Platinum Debit Card'.

For just a nominal annual fee, yes you you lucky punters can charge your drinks onto your GPDC. This is a quick and no-nonsense way of enjoying the many benefits of the cantina without the necessary expense of carrying all those heavy minerals.

YOu get a free balance transfer for the first 30 seconds, and the monthly interest rate of 2000% is as competitive as any on the market and fear not, you have a wonderful 7 days to pay off your balances in full each week to avoid being hunted down and eviscerated for being the debt ridden insolvent scum that you are..

This week's special offer with every GPDC successfully applied for are a 10 minutes conversation on Byzantine Choral Music with Taz, a large poster showing the Gryphin position, and a quick knee trembler with the FBW of your choice, and all this for only an initial fee of 100,000 minerals

Roll up roll up, ignore those loan sharking squid employing scumbags from down the road, sign up to a GPDC today and make a real man of yourself...

by the way...

3

[ October 18, 2002, 17:15: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
4<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Heh, looks like I'm the only one thus far that has my payment in before the deadline.

[Growltigga]

2

Ragnarok gets a free drink on the house for being a prompt payer, as well as a pair of expensive Nikes so that he has the edge next time he is pursued by the ravening horde

[ October 18, 2002, 17:23: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[mac5732]

Hmm, Mac looks over the paper work on Dogscoff's new credit loan sharking enterprise. beat 2000%, I'll have to think about it a little more...

Mac, pulls out his scientific, enhancing, credit tab transformer mini modus crafty exchanger. He punches in some numbers, pushes a button, and Ta Da, his tab has now been transferred to the Gryphin's account. Mac's tab shows 0 balance, 0 Due.... He orders a brewski, pays his 20 minerals, walks over to his table and proceeds to read up on the 2 new loan sharking credit companies trying to entice the mineral poor members into high never ending interest loans http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

relaxing Mac

[Growltigga]

1

AWOOGA AWOOGA THE IMPENDING CLOSURE OF ALL TABS IS ABOT TO HAPPEN - SETTLE UP OR FIND ALTERNATIVE MEANS OF PAYMENT OR YOU ARE DOOMED

1/2

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
1

AWOOGA AWOOGA THE IMPENDING CLOSURE OF ALL TABS IS ABOT TO HAPPEN - SETTLE UP OR FIND ALTERNATIVE MEANS OF PAYMENT OR YOU ARE DOOMED

1/2<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you don't do that... I may be able to lend you my new nikes to help some of you run for your lives.

Edit: What am I talking about? You guys never helped me when I was being chased. I'm keeping my nikes to myself.

[ October 18, 2002, 17:51: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[Growltigga]

ZEEERRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ALL TABS ARE CLOSED, TAZ, ONLY ACCEPT CASH PAYMENTS OR GROWLTIGGA PLATINUM CREDIT CARDS

An accounting will be had, anyone with cash outstanding will be slaughtered mercilessly

[Ragnarok]

I offer my condolences to all the ones that are about to witness first hand the wrath of GT. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
.....Not... This should be a fun chase... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar happliy walks in to the cantina, knowing full well that he hasn't used a tab. smiles craftily as dogscoff, who for some reason has a shark mask on, is fleecing the cantina customers*

"Hi Rags" RD shouts merrily, And sits down next to him by a fence in the parking lot. The overdue members of the cantina are all lined up, GT is sitting happliy behind them mounted on barry with his party of cartoon heroes, fbw's weilding electronic devices and a whole horde of ninja shrimps and mongooses.

"This should be a good chase!" exclaims rags as he pulls out some binoculars and a card with a bet on for who will survive longest.
RD smiles and cashes in a bet with GT.
"Hmm i'm going for gryphin, he's a crafty customer"

also gt women are a sport, it's called "bird watching" up here and it can let you pass many merry hours.

*The chase is let loose and the in debt cantina regulars run for their lives, this could be fun!*

[Gryphin]

:: Walks in to ask GT why his account was suddenly access for the amount of macs out standing tab ::
At least I have my account on auto pay so I don't get into these problems with overdue tabs ::

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:

*The chase is let loose and the in debt cantina regulars run for their lives, this could be fun!*<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Rags is enjoying the regulars with overdue tabs try and get a headstart and nudges RD, "Hey man, look at them tripping over stuff.. man this is great.. They actualy think they can outrun Berry and GT. *Laughs*" Rags then orders brewski to watch the chase and he pays his 22 minerals and picks out a booth and then sits down and watchs the chase with his binoculars.

[Raging Deadstar]

Muhhaha, i sit in my room, plunged in eerie darkness, the only light glowing from the aura of the computer screen. I sit, waiting for my turn to end. I am the leader of the Deadstar Allinace, i am High Regent Deadstar, i am at war with the pesky force that is the Ixaris Continuum, but they are going to get whats coming to them, oh yes they are in for it. An evil smile spreads across my lips as i order my 3 fleets to converge into their main system. Sweat drops off my forehead as i plan the landing of 500 troops on their main homeworld. Each step must be carried out perfectly. I'm about to sned out my Last fleet, the only thing standing between my demise and the destruction of the ixaris. I'm about to sign them to galactic history when all of a sudden.

"Do the Dishwasher!!!"

My hand slips from this rupture in my solitude. My ships use all their movement to move next to the planet i want to destroy.

"Do the dishwasher??? I'm the f&@%$£g High regent, this household chore has just cost me my 10 step plan to galactic domination!!!! How dare thee disrupt such plans, now the plague of ships can be seen flying to my home planets."

I wander off to do such chore as my empire crumbles, mumbling obscenities under my breath

Sorry but i couldn't help posting this http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ October 18, 2002, 19:59: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Raging Deadstar]

mac wasn't seen with liz hurley???? god that was some nightmare then....

*watches as taz is overcome by people trying to buy as much as possible on each others tabs before gt cancels them*

women are expensive hobbies, strange, i always thought GT classed it as more of a sport

[ October 18, 2002, 12:04: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[tesco samoa]

ANyone here talk to Nodachi?

He just kind of disappeared and I was wondering if anyone heard anything ??

--- What's a forum coming to when the members start to act like their friends http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ---

[TerranC]

You know, there should be some kind of forum awards.

*Goes back into the creative, dark, corner.*

[Taz-in-Space]

...A whole day and no customers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
GT, maybe we should rethink this whole 'no tabs' policy! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[SNORTpigga]

Step Right Up and Ride the mechanical bull!!!

The Winner gets a spot on Kylie's next video "Gryphin Position".

Just $5000 minerals a try, and charge it to TAZs tab.

[Raging Deadstar]

tut tut tut snortpigga. The tabs have been eliminated i'm afraid, guess taz is safe after all.

*Walks into the "inner sanctum" and comes out in a suit, smiles as the entire cantina is full of the regulars somehow, love cartoon physics*
Welcome one and all to the new cantina awards!

*Subdued applause*

"Lets get started, our first award is bets comedy moment, lets see the nominee's!"

A giant screen appears behind RD and numerous moments appear on it.
"The great ragnarok chase"
"Dogscoff's rule of the cantina"
"The invasion of loo worshiping pygmies"
etc etc

[Raging Deadstar]

god dammit i keep posting twice!!!!!

*Grabs a bottle off the bar, drinks it all*

Goodnight all
*promptly falls onto his seat and his head bangs off the table*

[ October 20, 2002, 19:02: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

Tut tut tut RD, posting twice isn't a bad thing. It's good for the fingers, keeps them young and flexible. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:

"The great ragnarok chase"
"Dogscoff's rule of the cantina"
"The invasion of loo worshiping pygmies"
etc etc<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I vote for the great ragnarok chase. Due to the fact that I'm the star.

[TerranC]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
1

AWOOGA AWOOGA THE IMPENDING CLOSURE OF ALL TABS IS ABOT TO HAPPEN - SETTLE UP OR FIND ALTERNATIVE MEANS OF PAYMENT OR YOU ARE DOOMED

1/2<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You're not serious, GT. Come on... drink some cool brews, as in -300 degrees centigrade, and watch some kylie minogue videos.

[oleg]

Hey Tigga,

Did you feel today' quakes ?
My computer jumped when I was reading the forum.

[Raging Deadstar]

Where is everyone today, maybe GT's testosterone levels are low or something but whys this place empty.

*looks around to see cobwebs growing on the pumps and mac who hasn't moved from staring at the liz hurly site he found on the net*

[ October 21, 2002, 19:17: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga walks into the cantina having spend a pleasant weekend away at a castle in the Lake District.

Oleg, I didn't notice the earthquakes (I was in Cumbria anyway) but I was in Athens about 15 years ago when there was one of about 5 on the ruchter scale and that was a real rectal-prolapse experience I can tell you....

Growltigga walks over to the automated accounting system and checks the current position of cantina finances...hmmmm.. takings are well down...OK, drastic steps are needed... as I am in such a good mood, all cantina regulars can have a tab up 1,000 minerals, provided that they are home-owners and sign this second mortgage form I am handing out...

Growltigga and Tigg-Scoff PLC are going into real estate management in a bug way

[Timstone]

You, you... lawyer!

[Growltigga]

Timstone, thank you. You do say the nicest things. Yes I am a lawyer and I like to think quite a good one and after spending all this time making other people rich and not myself (such are the rigours of being the oil that lubricates the wheels of industry), I think it is only fair that people who run a tab either give me a charge over their homes or alternatively, take up mine or Dogscoff's generous offers of external financing..

Which are you going for? (or are you still tinkering with your gearbox?)

[Timstone]

Haha... alright you're a good laywer and you consider yourself a indispensable part of our society, and you haven't made yourself rich?! Hmm... something smells fishy here. Lawyers aren't the most poor people on this Earth. I think you're not quite broke. I think you've done well enough to buy yourself some nice cars and of course a beautyful house.
But considering yourself one of the main parts in our society is a bit over the top, don't you think. The next thing we read is that I consider myself the president of the EU only because I designed their powergenerators (Hmm... a plan to take over the world is forming in my head. "Come Pinky, we'll do it next evening, when everybody is asleep!").
Let's put this straight, I'm not criticising (is this spelled right?) you, I'm just joking. Take it all with a large grain of salt. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

Oleg, we just had another tremour, damn scary that, the whole building lurched in a very alarming manner

[Timstone]

Ouch, that boulder damn hurts!
Next time I should bring an umbrella.

May I ask where you riside, Oh ye great furry feline? And what was the force of the tremour?

[Growltigga]

I work in Manchester (but reside further south) and I think the force of the tremour was about 2 on the richter scale so nothing major but it doesn't half make you jump when it happens I can tell you

[Timstone]

We've had (in my livetime) 2 very small quakes. I didn't feel the first one because it was in the middle of the night, but the second I did feel. It was in the early morning. It was kind of scary to feel the earth shake. I think that quake was 1 on the Richter scale.

[Growltigga]

It is not good. I was in Athens about 15-16 years ago when they had a 30 second quake. I cannot remeber how powerful that one was but it went on for about 30 seconds, which was 29 seconds of trying to work out what was happening and then 1 second of losing bladder control...

Horrible, absolutely horrible.

My dad once sailed through a small tsunami when he was in the navy and said it was one of the most terrifying things that had ever happended to him (other than finding out one of his sons was going tobe a lawyer)

[Timstone]

Hahahaha... that's right. That's a total horror-scenario! LOL!!

[Raging Deadstar]

LOL The horror, the horror, do you represent him for free? do you actually charge your own family for your services *dumb question but i wonder these things http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *

I was just thinking what the future holds for the regulars of the cantina...

Growltigga for world leader???
Timstone accidently discovers time travel with his gearbox???
Dogscoff dominates the seafood market???

Glad you were up my end of the country GT, how was cumbria?

Laywers are modern day jedi knights? If you keep your light sabres in your troUsers it would explain why you guys always have one hand in your pocket http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

I can see it now
Lawyer 1: I sense a disturbance in the force
Lawyer 2: No it was just an accident claim

[ October 22, 2002, 18:23: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigga]

Maybe, but it generally is only a disturbance in the force if the client doesn't pay within 30 days, and then you have to stray toward the dark side by chopping their legs off at the knees...

Light sabres in the pocket? no, as lawyers, we just know that we have the biggest todgers around

Cumbria was cool, stayed at a castle near Appleby/Brough, nice place, weather was horrible

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff wonders what the hell he's supposed to do with a lifetime's supply of Babycham. He sure as Flock isn't going to drink it. He also wonders whose lifetime he got - he doesn't drink the stuff, so surely there should have been exactly 0 bottles delivered to his battlemoon, instead of the delivery he did get which forced him to drain one of his monster breeding oceans to accomodate it. Dougal, one of the radioactive giant penguins, didn't get out in time and has (oddly) grown a mullet in some kind of wierd physical reaction.

Suddenly, Dogscoff has an idea. As an experimet, he has 40 crates of the stuff brought down from the battlemoon to the mini resource converter machine. 40 crates of nasty girly 80s yuppie piss go in, 1200 minerals come out. He uses the money to buy an extra fine bottle of Vaxin absynthe for 1150 minerals and a copy of Moulin Rouge on DVD with the remaining 50. Crap film, but he wants to see the bit at the beginning with Kylie Minogue as the absynthe fairy again. And again.

He puts the film on and cracks open the bottle, inviting everyone in the cantina to have a hallucinagenic tipple and look for fairies...

[Timstone]

Hahaha... a downright killing joke RD, you should be sued for that!! LOL!!!
Hmm... timetravel with a gearbox. Crazy enough, it might just work. Timstone goes to his ship with his mind pondering about the possibilities.

Dogscoff: Wow, I'll join you with that Vaxin absynthe!! Since I went to the Czech Republic, I'm a BIG fan of absynthe. Damn shame I can't buy it in my country. We have all a junkie could wish for but no absynthe. Absurd, isn't it!

[ October 22, 2002, 20:45: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff presses a button on his remotre control unit and a large grain of salt (5 feet across) falls from a trapdoor in the ceiling and squashes Timstone.

[Growltigga]

Growltigga thanks Dogscoff profusely for his able assistance and thinks that every evil dictator needs a well equipped, nasty, and techologically able henchperson to assist.

Growltigga also credits Dogscoff's tab with a 1,000 minerals and a lifetime supply of babycham

Growltigga walks over to the pair of arms and legs sticking out from under the large grain of salt.

"Yes Timstone, lawyers are the guardians of the fabric of society and keepers of the gates holding back the forces of chaos, we ensure that life's little problems are smoothed (for an appropriate fee) and also ensure that law, which after all surrounds us and binds us, works in one's favour. We are kind of like Jedi Knights albeit more expensive, better dressed and naturally in pinstripes, more stylish and more cutthroat"

Growltigga leaves an invoice for Timstone to find when he gets out from under the salt boulder, together with his business card and the address of a good personal injury lawyer

[Growltigga]

kylie minogue is the absinthe fairy

I have to watch that video

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[ October 23, 2002, 16:10: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Growltigga]

The cantina is very quiet today, where is everyone?

[dogscoff]

GetTting Derry Vrunk 'n AbsyyntHe...

[Growltigga]

Oooh, that stuff rots your brain (says the man who got smashed Last night on calvados and spiced bacardi)

Oh well, it just means I need to go off and beat up the Hungarians a little more

[mac5732]

GT, try with normal ammo depletion, makes tougher game and more interesting as you have to juggle troops, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Emperor Mac Kahn http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ October 23, 2002, 17:04: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Growltigga]

I dont like ammo depletion, I dont like the idea of my archers shooting off 20 odd arrows and then standing around like a bunch of goons, you would think that they would ensure they had sufficient ammo

[mac5732]

ahahhhh but...

your archers are defending the critical bridge over the river, the lst 3 assaults were driven back with heavy loss, the enemy however is reforming for another rush, your men look to their arrows, find only enough for 1 more flight, they set their faces in grim lines, draw their short swords and thrusting knives, prepared to defend hand to hand the rushing horde of maniacs. You move up your pikes to strengthen the line, its all or nothing....

[Gryphin]

I thought Archers, (espcialy the English Longbow armed kind), normaly deployed with sharpened stakes to impede said charges.

[mac5732]

my good gryphin, archers back in the older days, carried various types of equipment, usually short type sword/dagger oriented weapons not true swords in the weapon sense, they were smaller, shorter, lighter not meant for shock or heavy fighting but enough to defend themselves or as Last resort attack. Others carried other type defensive weapons, depending on time period involved. But yes they did carry back up weapons, some were just odds and end individual weapons, again depends on time period

just some ideas mac