Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Trajan]

Trajan runs in to the cantina jumps up on the bar and begins to ask for bets on whether or not he gets fired today. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

I am betting that my boss fires me this afternoon. Anyone have any suggestions as to what I should FTP home to my server before I get the axe?

I recently had a meeting with him (CEO) where he told me that he would rather have a non college educated person with zero experience in my position (Marketing Director). So...I think I am very soon to be on the "dole".

Btw....I am the Last survivor of a once hearty 7 person marketing team. My former boss (Sr. VP of Marketing and Sales) was fired 2 weeks ago, all others have been sequentially fired or "let go" during the Last 12 months.

I need a Double Diamond ale right about now.

Cheers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

not being technically inclined, I personally would piss on it

[Jmenschenfresser]

I'd go straightway and permanently delete all emails in your delete folder (if you use outlook or something like it).

Marketing guy here was canned. The pres. of the company then went through his email box and the deleted ones as well. Pres then got pissed at much of the remaining office at things they'd written to the now canned VP.

Not unless you want them to know you think he/she is a dick.

[Trajan]

The CEO already know my opinion of him:
Havard educated, pedantic, micromanaging, coward.

So I don't think there is any reason for me not to burn the bridge as brightly and with as much pyrotechnics as is possible.

Besides, all the people I would use for references have long since been fired.

CHeers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

Trajan, if that is your opinion of him, then I personally would urinate on your CEO

[Gryphin]

Deleting email does not help. They can get backups from tapes if he really wants to know.
FTP home any game things you forgot to do in the past.

[mac5732]

Trajan, just because he has college degree, doesn't mean he knows his nose from his posterior. The way I see it is you have 2 possible choices.

1. Politely adise him that since he thinks he could do better then you that the both of you should just trade places. after all, since he thinks he could be better at your job, and you couldn't do any worse then him at his job.

2. Invite him here to the Cantina where the residual members of this high esteem club may impart upon his person the wonderments of their most gracious and wonderous personalities. Further to performace the mentally degree that he has shown in his protrudance of meanual behavior to one of our illustrious memebers. In addition I'm sure Dogscoff would introduce him to some of his enourmous employees as well as Barry taking a sensible interest in his possible demise within these confines.

3. an addition, we already have Bill Gates clones so I'm sure another clone or two would not be amiss

just some ideas mac

[ September 13, 2002, 17:24: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Trajan]

Tigga,

You are the 3rd person to recommend that I unzip and let fly with the urine. My wife was the first. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Unfortunately, the CEO has never fired anyone in the company. He is always convienently out of the office when it is done by the CFO and VP of Ops.

Who knows...it is half past noon here and I am still employed.

Cheers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

I would have thought that the CFO and VP of Ops (god you americans have some silly business titles) would be narked off by now being the CEO's hatchet boys..

I reccomend you wait until lunch has your bowels moving, sneak into the CEO's room and leave a message in his filing cabinet

Honest to god, someone at one of my old firms did that. Several people were made redundant and left on the same day. One obviously had a grudge against the HR Director and left a rather large dark brown but beautifully shaped jobby in his filing cabinet- the resulting scream when the HR director found it was an absolute joy, such range, such timbre.

It had also been in said filing cabinet over the weekend and absolutely stunk

[ September 13, 2002, 17:49: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[mac5732]

Tigga, why wait for lunch, Trajan just imbib upon some of Tesco's or Puke's sauce mixed with some chili, This would leave a most monumental message with the flowing essance which would permeat his office most wonderously.

(I'd leave it in his favorite chair where all could be astounded as to its degree of demeanor and emotion from the meaningful dedication one such message would impart) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

just some ideas mac

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Growltigga:

Timstone, if you have homework to do, you are too young for this sort of talk!!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Too young?! No, I'm old enough to hear and see this kind of conversation. I'm not as old and experienced as you guys, but I'll get there.

Old guys.

You people have some fantastic ideas about letting your boss know you DON'T like him.
I say bring him the message that would otherwise disapear into the holy white bowl.

[ September 13, 2002, 18:03: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Trajan]

Ok..here we go. The CEO has left for the day. If they are going to do this, then I suspect it will come soon, else I think I am safe for a short while......tick tock tick tock tick tock

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Nope..not getting fired today. I guess the luck of the Irish is smiling on me. Now, of course, I will wonder when the axe will fall in the future. Until then...I suppose I really get on the ball and look for a new job. This may turn out to be the only severence pay I get. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Thanks for the support.

Cheers!
Trajan

[ September 13, 2002, 19:48: Message edited by: Trajan ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar pulls up and parks in his new dreadnought, gets out and smiles at barry who for some reason is smiling widely and wearing shades, must have got back from his break!

Walks inside to see trajan celebrating *almost* getting fired. Hands him over Deadstar corporations new clone a boss kit and wishes him so many great days of beating up his ex bosses clone and surviving on the dole. RD is disappointed that his alteration to the GHB didn't do a thing, maybe GT fixed it??

Walks up to GT and hands him a note. Points to a suited business man who snuck through the inner sanctum and waits.
"Heh maybe i shouldn't have told old Growltigga that the business man was gonna sell those pictures of the "chicken feather and rubber" incident on EBay". http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Ooooh since i'm a virgo i'm gonna be a pimp and a bus driver. Hmmm yep i can't drive and have only had 1 girlfriend and i'm 16. Lol oh yeah pimp in the making!!!

Raging Deadstar tries to sit down, but for some reason he's tired out, his body hurts from the bumps and for some reason he can't remember some of the FBW's keep giggling and smiling at him! Did GT ask them to do anything when i was intoxicated???

Also maurice has been getting frisky so i put him in a zoo, i'm sure that'll help the population of tigers, anyway i wasn't leaving that on my *ahem* behind, how would i liedown???

Actually i don't find Kylie Minogue that attractive but then again i'm into the punk/metal scene so my idea of hot chicks might be a little different...

*Note*
Dear Growltigga
I felt you should know that the FBW with the cattle prod may get a little carried away with it, thank you. Hope it doesn't put you off

[ September 13, 2002, 20:26: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[DirectorTsaarx]

Trajan: I prefer things like putting fish and/or cheese (particularly limburger) inside the AC vents.

As for what to FTP home, I'd go for accounting records, customer lists, anything marked "Proprietary", and (if possible) anything in the CEO's personal folders. Oh, and the bookmark list from your web browser. Then:

</font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Give the accounting records to the IRS and SEC
</font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Use the customer lists to build your own business (possibly with the other fellows who preceded you onto the "dole")
</font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sell the items marked "Proprietary" to your (former or soon-to-be-former) company's competitors
</font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Look for blackmail material in items from the CEO's personal folder
</font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Import your work bookmarks into your home bookmark list (obviously, this is my only constructive suggestion; the rest are rather... destructive) </font><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Of course, if you're caught doing any of those things, the agency will disavow all knowledge of your activities. This post will self-destruct whenever the Cantina blows up again...

[Growltigga]

Growltigga takes off the salmon pink rubber outfit and chicken feather, returns it to Gryphin saying 'here is your stuff back' and ponders that the Gryphin position is a lot more trouble than it should be!!

The electron cannon is fired again blotting out all photographs and other visual media taken by Gryphin

[Gryphin]

:: Looks at the suit, not my stuff, Looks at Saxon, ::his yours? Maybe the electon beam generated it?

:: Notes GT has forgotton to remove the feather, Points it out to Barry and the Patrons ::

[ September 13, 2002, 12:31: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga sighs and wonders on the rapid regression of Gryphin's short term memory functions due to the rapid approach of old age

QUOTE "Growltigga takes off the salmon pink rubber outfit and chicken feather" UNQUOTE - chicken feather was removed, and returned to its rightful owner..

Gryphin, you will be trying to say that this PVC 'wetlook' catsuit, handcuffs and Cyndi Crawford workout video are nothing to do with you either!

[Gryphin]

Yes I will say that,
We use Leather and none metalic cuffs. Very soft and comfortable.
Sheesh, what sort of cad do you think I am.

[TerranC]

GT, don't talk about cultural evolution in europe. Was it not that europeans first got a spike and hammer and DROVE it to a person's head to "Drive out evil" a.k.a. chicken pox?

Also, was it not that the europeans first started colonization of uncivilized peoples that could be blamed for all the troubles and wars that have existed from late 19th century to present?

Again, was it not Europeans, British to be specific that experienced the industrial revolution, which started off corporate greed, child labour, and pollution in an increasing rate?

By the way, was it not europe that caused such a fuss about religion in the first place?

Hmm? Hmm?

Although we must credit Europe for the creation of cheese http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
Actually i don't find Kylie Minogue that attractive but then again i'm into the punk/metal scene so my idea of hot chicks might be a little different...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wow, you're into the punk/metal scene (BTW, that is called Nu-Metal, or a boyband with a guitar)! Tjeez, that really counts when it comes to beautifull women, NOT!! It's not about the way she dresses, but about the way she LOOKS!

*Throws a chunk of uranium to RD's head, listens to the hollow sound the collision produces*

Timstone: "Yep, no brains at all! No matter RD, you're not going to need it here. Just look at me."

*Timstone turns the side of his head in the direction of RD*

RD: "My god! You can see right through it!"

[tesco samoa]

raging deadstar..

did you say punk and metal...

My kind of music... what do you listen too

[Raging Deadstar]

Stuff, ranges from slayer, a bit of pantera, otep, Static X and coal chamber amongst others. Not really into punk, it was just an expression to describe it. Nu-metal, ahh boybands with guitars lol, some it is, yes. I do admit to liking KoRn and Muse

Timstone you are a blithering idiot! Appearence contributes to the way you look!

example, if the same girl dies her hair black its for appearence, but if effects the way she looks, just like piercings and make up do.

I mean come on, why would women spend hours putting on make up for appearence if they weren't convinced it made them look better, also, kylie just dosen't do it for me, but i'm sure it leaves more of her round for you guys lol

I mean would you still find kylie attractive if she didn't wear short dresses and had different hair etc

Then again Timstone, i better describe it in a way that you'll understand, 2 girls, 1 with baggy top on, one with tits hanging out almost, which one would timstone choose lol

But anyway, LOL, Timstone has his reasons, however shallow they may be, and i hope everyone has a good time with the kylie minogue hologram projector that GT installed for the cantina

WAIT WHY AM I ARGUING WITH TIMSTONE??? Must be stress, i'm really having girl problems right now http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[ September 15, 2002, 09:17: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
Timstone you are a blithering idiot!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thank you.

Hahaha... arguing with me! Got ya!!

Hmm... ever looked at the 3 sentences below every message of mine? Especially the second one?
I'm not saying that I beat you, or you beat me. Just a little warning for both of us.

[ September 15, 2002, 11:56: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Raging Deadstar]

lol i was gonna mention that thing in ur profile. but i never said kylie would look bad in black! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif also your assuming i'm into nu-metal clothing, i said metal/punk scene. I meant that if kylie had different hair style, wore glasses or anything, which technically are ways of dressing, which do effect the way you look!

Timstone Timstone Timstone, i know your young (hell i'm 16) but your Imagination can be a bit to hyperactive.

hmm timstone says his brain is empty??
*walks over, shouts "Would the rest of the cantina care to give us their Views!!!" thoguh timstones ear, causing it to become louder after passing through timstones empty head and coming through the other ear

Also i called you an idiot, not a fool lol.
Idiot: mentally deficient person, stupid
Fool: ***, berk, dolt, dunce, dunderhead, half-wit.
There was more, but my dictionary syas fool and idiot are 2 different things! By the sounds of it you are not a fool! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

OMG I'm a Corporal!!!! ok lol
I think i'll rate timstone for the sake of being the first one to argue with me!

[ September 15, 2002, 14:24: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

Well, thanks again for all those compliments. You're too good for me.

Err... you said you're 16. Well I'm a bit older (23). And age doesn't affect me being a fool or anything. It's only the way I react to some things. And most persons are afraid to do a little bit of self-mockery. With self-mockery I try to give the conversation a little spin. I won't explain the background on why I react to these things on the way I do (too much typing and too much reading). Besides, that's not what a cantina is for.

You're right about the cantina. Are we the only 2 guys talking here? C'mon girls and guys, speak up!

Oh, 1 more beer for me. My throat is as dry as sandpaper from all this talking.

Thanks for the rating! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[ September 15, 2002, 14:42: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Ahh very good timstone, i seem to think i'm the youngest here lol.

Well then, since your now a 5 Star Corporal, get Taz to put the drink on my tab.

You were doing homework? you must be in university or something. And don't worry about the comments, i ain't being offensive by the way, that was the dictionary definition lol

Raging Deadstar sits back down after the little argument and relaxes, activates his hologram pc and begins glassing his ex ally's empire.

What??? I defeated an entire empire and the dam fool ~(see below)~ ran in an colonised the enitre system, thats not what i call battle support lol

Actually is there any girls in this cantina or is SEIV another of those games women don't have the patience for (my ex-girlfriend didn't)

[ September 15, 2002, 14:46: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

Weee, having fun over here! I really like this joint.
Yeah, I'm studying mechanical engineering in Alkmaar. I'm designing a gearbox and ofcourse I'm doing that on the computer. Every now and then I look at the internet in the hope of conversation with other members of the cantina. I'm glad I found you.
Thanks again for the rating. I'm really pround on it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

I'm going back to work now. The sooner I'm done with this, the happier I'll be.

Oh, and I haven't seen any girls in this cantina. Too bad.

[ September 15, 2002, 14:56: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Timstone]

Finally I've got a good counterword. On my age everything slows down, from reactions till (semi-) thinking.

With the clothing issue I only ment to say this. When Kylie wears white clothes she's hot and when she's wearing black clothes she's also hot. It doesn't matter if she's wearing different clothes.
You said you're into the Nu-metal, well people there dress themselfs with black clothes. Kylie on the other hand dresses herself mostly in white (lightly coloured) clothes. So it's not a very good point to say she wouldn't look good in black.

[Mephisto]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
Actually is there any girls in this cantina or is SEIV another of those games women don't have the patience for (my ex-girlfriend didn't)<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">In fact I know 2 girls from my friends that are even engaged in 3 PBEM/PBW games. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

Wow, cool! Are they also German? If so, where do they live? I mean Germany isn't that far from the Dutch border.

[Growltigga]

Timstone, the cantina IS NOT to be used as a forum for arranging hot dates with nubile German lasses..

Get back to designing your gearbox.

TerranC, please do not even start me on what America has given the world http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

[Timstone]

Okay GT, sorry for the intrusion.
I'll get back to work.
I finished most of the calculations. Now to make a nice report of it. That's the real bugger.

Hey, how is it going with the impending gulf of fired workers?! Any news?

[Timstone]

PoohStar? Who the heck is that?!
And besides, if that is your girl, she is likely to come from the States and me living in Europe, that would be a longshot. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Well, I guess I just have to do some more searching.

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, I dont mind what Timstone gets up to with the FBW. They can look after themselves. I just dont want the cantina to end up like a lonely hearts club.

Timstone, personally, if you want to get some "action wi'd da ladies", I reccomend you put down the gearbox, invest in a new wardrobe, buy some aftershave, have a shower and then start going round some bars...

I reccomend Cafe Luxembourg on the Spuiplatz in Amsterdam or La Coupole in gay Paree

[Gryphin]

PoohStar is my girl. Besides, she is very experianced in the Gryphin Position and that might unerve / destroy the selfconfidence of a young man. Maybe when you are older and can visit the states.

[Timstone]

hahaha... now I see Gryphin. I'm old enought to go to the States, but study first, then the rest. Besides, don't take me wrong here, but I don't like the States very much. It's a beautifull country, but the people who govern it are @@swipes. But that is another story, afterall this is a bar, not a political discusion group.

Hey GT! I'm not a lonely heart and you have some strange suggestions for me to go to. Gay Paree?! Yuck, not my cup of tea. And the other cafe, I don't know. Never been there. Oh, and where are the other people?! It seem like everybody went home. What have you done GT?!

Anyway, the gearbox is something I just have to do, just like everything else for school. I think I'm going back to work now. See you guys around!

[Growltigga]

this is a bar, not a political discusion group.

Quite so and nor is the cantina a dating agency for lonely Dutch engineering students.

Gay Paree?! Yuck, not my cup of tea

'Gay' as in the classic sense of 'fun' and 'enjoyable' rather than the current use of that expression to denote a chap who bites pillows and likes body peircing and tight lycra shorts

What have you done GT?!

No more than usual but I did let a right cushion 'silent but violent' creeper off before I left the cantina Last Friday so that might have something to do with it. The atmosphere was definately 'organic'

Anyway, the gearbox is something I just have to do

Judging by the way your hormones are going, I suggest you find time for a cold shower and a quick 20 laps of the local running track

Gryphin, where does the 'poohstar' handle come from?

[mac5732]

In regards to the FBW, the Liz Hurly look a likes are off limits to those of limited calibar fluxations. Ahem... they are drawn to us more older, mature, sexy, scientific types who ponder upon the mysteries of the cosmos, and who have done major research into "The Gryphin Position and Circle The Wagons" in order to further our scientific knowledge of various rituals. These undefined activities are still being discussed and researched to find their exact place in the Universe, however, from what has been theorized, postulated and discussed prior, shows that this type of research may tax one's inner self and are therefore beyond the comprehension of those younger then us more older members http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif of the cantina. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

The FBW of the cantina are more then capable of handling themselves from unwanted attention, besides they have various body guards like Barry and several of Dogscoff's minions who just love to engage those who violate their charges with unwanted solicitations. Be careful, be very very careful, and remember the LH look a likes are reserved for us more lovable cantina members. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

just some ideas mac

[Growltigga]

and remember the LH look a likes are reserved for us more lovable cantina members

hmmm.. I think I need to sack and replace some of the FBW's, especially the ones with a resemblance to Liz Hurley..

You see as proprietor (with Gryphin but he takes responsible for the ahem, massage parlour down the road) of the cantina, I have to ensure that standards are maintained and this is just not what is acceptable standards of conduct in a FBW.

FBWs are NOT meant to be attracted to wrinkles, body odour, gibbering and drooling, colostomy bags, surgical stockings, being cantankerous and miserable, trusses, incontinence, flatulence, self-urination and all the other side-effects of growing old and decrepit like Mac.

In fact the FBW ARE NOT attracted to these attributes so Mac, I am afraid to say you have obviously been overdosing on the geritol again and have been hallucinating.

Apologies to do this to you at your time of life but the public have a right to a reality check

[ September 16, 2002, 17:08: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Gryphin]

GT,
I belive the "Selective Forgetto Beam" which was used on, well never mind who it was used on or why, will be able to selectively correct the FBW inclinaitons to the type of person you decribed.
Shall we give it a shot?

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, as responsible owners of the cantina and gentlemen to boot (well, ok, after a fashion), I feel it would be churlish, unkind and ungentlemanly to use the "forgetto beam" on an FBW so that she does not realise Maqc is a decrepit old codger who smells like a piece of mouldy Parmesan Reggiano or Buffalo Mozzarella.

The poor girl would come round thinking she had been having the time of her life with Brad Pitt, Growltigga or some other hunk, but instead would find herself smelling of germolene and having picked up a horrible rash (as well as Mac's false teeth).

No, I say we cannot do this. It is unkind.

We should use the 'forgetto beam' on Mac so that he forgets who Liz Hurley, or indeed what girls, is/are

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar orders his new navigator to slowly lower down his dreadnought. Ahh the perks of being A 5 Star corporal lol, upon thinking that no wonder GT gets away with so much! The craft hovers, then the afterburners kick out and the entire ship crashes down on a decripped old escort taxi.

"Maybe i should train them first!"

Walks in to find mac and timstone at a table which has a yellow caution stand which tells the FBW to stay away, all of which have been armed with pepper spray and tazers.

Lol, this is why i don't get involved with fbw's, they are a bit too *ahem* willing with cattleprods and such. I'm sure mac isn't that old, he could...not even going into such reasons how mac might attract FBW's.

Sits down, looks around for taz so he can have a drink, nothing alcoholic today please. A FBW wanders by and RD can't help check her out. After all when your girl friend just dumped you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif you kinda miss the action.

Growltigga walks by in his orange and black tiger stripe suit with white tie, with 2 of the finest new applicants to join the Cantina staff and they disappear to his office, Lol. I wonder what the interviews like? I'm sure GT enjoys it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Is extremely bored and upset, so to cheer himself up RD activates his new custard pie rocket launcher. Fires it and watches as Timstone gets covered by pie. *Sigh* not even the cliches are funny anymore.

[Gryphin]

Oops, I’m sorry, I did not communicate.
What I meant to say is:
If the FBWs are interested in mac, we could hit them with the SFB so they forget their interest in him, (and any traumatic experiences they may have had in his clutches).
If they have not shown interest, then we should either zap mac with a Clean up Beam or perhaps make him forget he would want to touch them?

I am a kind fare Gentlman, (sorta).

[sachmo]

I enjoy a nice ruben sandwich from time to time, but I prefer one with spicy mustard.

[DirectorTsaarx]

GT: regardless of what America has given the world, remember who gave America to the world... (and, if you need a refresher, just look at history records from, say, 1600-1776 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )

As for punk/metal music, I used to listen to that; then I moved on to "alternative" rock; and, finally, when I got tired of hearing the same song over and over and over and over (or, worse, hearing songs from 3 different bands that sounded exactly alike) I went back to classical music. Yeah, that's right. Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, and all the rest. Besides, the local classical station has a morning DJ that sounds like he's on pot. Lots of fun to listen to. And there's fewer annoying ads between songs...

[Mephisto]

Easy, boy. One is a naval officer (medical) and married, the other is a lawyer working for the police and "occupied". http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Originally posted by Timstone:
Wow, cool! Are they also German? If so, where do they live? I mean Germany isn't that far from the Dutch border.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

[Gryphin]

GT, would you rather Timstone be hitting on the Fluffy Bunny Waitresses?

Timstone, Just a side note: PoohStar is MINE.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[TerranC]

Eiee. Mephisto is back!

And please, tell me what America has given to the world that has destroyed the world so much, I don't mind, I'm from asia, I only work in America http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Edit: And please don't mention the atomic bomb because that WILL go two ways.

[ September 17, 2002, 02:04: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[tesco samoa]

Mcdonalds ???

Or is it Jazz Music...

[tesco samoa]

Terran C you say your from asia... But really your a canuck .... Its in your system now... Eh?

[mac5732]

In regards to El Tigga the spurlous and Gryphin the unknown, age is a tireless remedy in which man rejoices in the furtherance of knowledge as he contemplates life's wonders, as one continues to improve upon one's wonderment of expirating the expansion of his facilities. Remember age catchs all of us, and as I seem to recall one of you just had a birthday and the other is aging more this week, thus you both are catching up to me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Mac walks into the cantina and is surrounded by his Liz Hurly look a likes who indulge in momentous hugs and smooches upon his wonderous body http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif After a brief respite, Mac walks over to the cream pie condensing gravaton beam inoculator, puts in his quarter, drags the hose over to the office door and knocks. Mac hears the pitter patter of what could only be puddy tat paws upon the floor. Mac backs up and waits for the door to open, slowly it opens and there in all his unimaginative self induced Glory is the "KAT". Mac aims and completely engulfs the wiley old feline in a stream of ooeeyy gooeey sticky cream pie filling. Mac sprays the nozzle up and down so not to miss one furry hair upon said Tigga's countenance. The Tigga lets out a curling scream which is silenced by more cream pie filling.... Mac Turns off the pie inducer, disconnects his colostemy bag from his anatamy and proceeds to empty the contents onto the tall, crreamy looking ice cream cone standing in the doorway. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif At this point the sounds emitting from said statue is more then can be printed on these pages. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Mac walks back puts away the pie dispenser, walks over to where the Gryphin is sitting, at which time, Barry comes over (after being paid with a Gryphin Clone), who in turn picks up the old Gryphin and proceeds to deposit his torso upon the Rose bushes outside the cantina window. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

In regards to what the US has given the rest of the world. It has given them someone they can all hate... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif thus they have united the world where no one else has ever done. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Mephisto, good to see your still around, have a brewski on Saxon's tab, Taz, fill him up....

just some ideas Mac

[ September 17, 2002, 03:48: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz, lurking as usual behind the bar, sees that some cartoon mayhem is now just beginning,
but first a few chores.

Sachmo, here's your ruben sandwich. Just don't ask where the spicy mustard came from. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

RD, here's your NON-alcoholic drink...never touch that stuff myself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[K126]Mephisto, MAC asked me to: "Mephisto ... have a brewski on Saxon's tab, Taz, fill him up...." I'm guessing that the K126 part is for
King-sized 126 Liter capacity. So I have hooked you up onto the High Flowrate booze dispenser system! (Ka-ching ... Ka-ching ... Ka-ching)
Let me know when you've had enough http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

OK, let the cartoon mayhem commence http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ...

[Growltigga]

GT: regardless of what America has given the world, remember who gave America to the world...

Being a closet naval historian, I have no need to look at the history books. Who gave America to the world? the French and Spanish did. Rationale? Britian lost what you term the War of Independance primarily due to the lack of forces it could commit given that we were fighting France and Spain on the continent. By the standards of the continental powers, the American forces were small and untrained (at least at the start) and had Britain been able to commit more troops, the result would have been undoubtedly different.

Keep in mind that most of the attempts to rest Canada from the English came during 'quiet' times in Europe, we could commit and that is why Canada never left the empire until independance was granted.

Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, and all the rest.

I'll agree with you there, Tiggas like nothing better than playing with a mouse or a FBW to the sounds of Beethoven's Ninth, 4th movement, "Ode to Joy"

[Growltigga]

The cantina is shrouded in silence. All patrons are looking at Mac and naturally, a space is beginning to open up around him.

The silence is broken by the sound of a high powered shower being turned on, seconds later, a cat-;ike voice singing a rousing rendition of "I'm too sexy" can be heard through the walls as do the sounds of a heroic muscular growltigga being scrubbed down by some adoring FBW's.

All goes silent, beads of sweat appear on Mac's wrinkled and smelly brow..

The door to the office opens and Liz Hurley herself appears dressed in the slinkiest of lycra numbers, Mac is aboput to explode especially when Liz comes over to him, gets him to sit down and dances in his lap, the old boy is really in a state of extreme excitement and flux....

Mac is sitting in his chair, drooling as Liz moves to one side, just in time to see Growltigga press the 'green' button, a large treetrunk comes swinging down out of the roof of the cantina and hits Mac right in the happy sacks

As Mac is writhing on the floor in a private world of pain, Growltigga picks him up and nails him to the wall of the cantina. Unfortunately, Growltigga nails him to the wall by application of a hilti gun to Mac's private bits

[dogscoff]

Back...

Been to Amsterdam for the weekend. Everyone head on over to the "Tigg-scoff bithday party" thread for a slice of cake...

[Growltigga]

I do believe happy birthday greetings are in order to you Dogscoff

Happy birthday.

As a gift, I hereby relax the prohibition on middle management operating battlemoon class vessels.

How was Amsterdam? what did you get up to (dare I ask?)

[dogscoff]

Thanks 'Tig.

*Dogscoff has his battlemoon brought into close orbit. It begins charging up it's planet-buster, ready to provide a truly momentous finale to the birthday party's lightshow.

Amsterdam was very cool. I went with my gfriend and two drinking buddies I went to uni with. Actually we didn't partake of the over-commercialised vices on display in Amsterdam (ie pot, porn & prozzies) but spent the time eating well, drinking local beers and even visiting a museum or two. *shock*. Went to the Anne Frank house, the "Heineken Experience" (A really good laugh, and your 7.5 Euro ticket includes you a pint and a half of the fizzy stuff and a beer glass to take home) and the Van gogh gallery. I have to say I was more impressed by the builiding than the paintings. Oh, also visited the "Sex museum", which has a truly hilarious collection of antique victorian porn photos, featuring men in outrageous moustaches boffing uninterested ladies. Well worth a visit, it's completely hysterical.

All in all, a bloody good weekend, although it seems to have cost way more than it should have.

[ September 17, 2002, 09:52: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Yeah, I have been to the sex museum, I just couldn't believe that they DID THAT SORT OF THING in the twenties, especially given the girls all were in that daft 'Flapper (or is that slapper?)' fashion and as you say, some of the daftest moustaches in the world's history were on display

I recall eating very well in Amsterdam as well.

Some good bars too

[Growltigga]

Just emphasising my interest and dont worry, the tigga outfit is easily detachable, I was, after all, born ready

[Gryphin]

Ok, the Brave KAT Tigga has vollunteered. Who else?
doscuff? Saxon? TerranC, any other brave souls out there?

[Mephisto]

Originally posted by Taz-in-Space:
Let me know when you've had enough http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Talking about alcoholic intoxication, eh? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
Now back to hell while beeing so druuuuuuuuuuunk! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

Hee hee, get Mephisto involved whilst he is absolutely bladderoonied.

He will no doubt be able to srot out at least 20 of the FBWs with his famed teutonic efficiency!

[mac5732]

I most graciously volunteer as I have always looked foreward to enhancing my scientific research into the wonders of the galaxy and this looks most promising. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Mac who was hiding in the far west cornor of the cantina, looks over at the stapled Mac on the wall, chuckles to himself, pulls out a small black box with red buttons, points it at the strung up mac and pushes the button. The nailed Mac on the wall begins to wiggle and gyrate and then.. poof... the outer anatamy falls away from the poor individual on the wall and presto, the outside mac was only a covering, a falsad, underneathe was the real individual, and revealed to all the members, now stapled to the wall by his un-mentionables was a disguised TIGGA CLONE. The "KAT" stapled a clone of himself to the wall, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif A most hidious shreeeekkkk rents the air from the direction of the creamy, sticky covered furry feline, his surrounding FBW also now drop their fake outer disquises and reveal that they are infact not FBW at all but.. Translvainian orks from the outer mountains who's favorite cuisine is RAW TIGGA MEAT..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif , The sticky feline is immediatly picked up by the orks and carried into the inner office slamming the door behind them.... Undescribable noises are heard coming from within... Mac, smiling, puts away his box, and goes into the inner sanctum to contemplate on the whatfors of air fresheners and the tidy bowl diety... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas Mac

[sachmo]

No one GAVE America to the world...first we shook off the yoke of tyranny, took a few fumbling steps, had some internal struggles, and then we stepped into everyones face and screamed "LOOK OUT WORLD! We ARE the UGLY AMERICANS!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

However, if George Washington could have had his way, you wouldn't have heard a peep from us. Wouldn't that be nice? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[mac5732]

If it wasn't for us "UGLY AMERICANS", who would the world have to kick around, be jealous of or hate http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

it would be boring place http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[DirectorTsaarx]

Originally posted by sachmo:
No one GAVE America to the world...first we shook off the yoke of tyranny, took a few fumbling steps, had some internal struggles, and then we stepped into everyones face and screamed "LOOK OUT WORLD! We ARE the UGLY AMERICANS!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

However, if George Washington could have had his way, you wouldn't have heard a peep from us. Wouldn't that be nice? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, technically, most of us Americans are descended from people who got kicked out of all the other countries. (Obviously, this doesn't include those of full "Native American" blood, but that's a completely different story altogether). So, in reality, the rest of the "civilized" world "gave" us America by sending all their misfits over here. A tradition that has continued to the present day. After all, the Statue of Liberty asks for "your poor, your downtrodden, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free", not "your rich, educated, pampered select few" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif . Georgia even started as a penal colony (of course, so did Australia, but I'll leave THAT discussion for our Aussie members http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif ).

[Timstone]

Jealous?! At you Americans?! Not in my livetime (wich is going to be very long).
Pff... shook of the yoke of tyranny, how heroic. NOT!
See, that's what I hate about the French, the Americans and all those other "super" important countries around the world. Yuck!
I know, now you are all going to spit some foul language in my direction about being jealous that my country isn't that important or that the Dutch are hideous people. Well, go ahead, spit your best! We can take it.

P.S. we are very importnat for our part of Europe, afterall we have the BIGGEST PORT IN THE WORLD! Yeah!

[Timstone]

Yo, DirectorTsaarx, you are the man! Way to go!

[Growltigga]

Director Tsaarx, the fundamental difference is that world LIKES Australians

[Timstone]

hahaha... yeah! Go Aussies!

[dogscoff]

Director Tsaarx, the fundamental difference is that world LIKES Australians
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Especially Kylie Minogue.

Mmmmm.... Kylie...

[DirectorTsaarx]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
Director Tsaarx, the fundamental difference is that world LIKES Australians<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Really? I thought you Brits despised Aussies. I'm pretty sure they're not terribly fond of you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif .

[sachmo]

Originally posted by Timstone:
Jealous?! At you Americans?! Not in my livetime (wich is going to be very long).
Pff... shook of the yoke of tyranny, how heroic. NOT!
See, that's what I hate about the French, the Americans and all those other "super" important countries around the world. Yuck!
I know, now you are all going to spit some foul language in my direction about being jealous that my country isn't that important or that the Dutch are hideous people. Well, go ahead, spit your best! We can take it.

P.S. we are very importnat for our part of Europe, afterall we have the BIGGEST PORT IN THE WORLD! Yeah!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Nope...no profanity for you, even if you are from Pampercity. (hehe)
I don't know many Dutch people, so I won't say they are hideous, but the girls that I know who are of Dutch decent are nice and warm...
It doesn't surprise me that you don't like America...not many people who live outside of our borders seem to these days. Actually, not many people who live INSIDE our borders seem to, either. Maybe we have outlived our usefulness...unless some big, mean, nasty enemy appears! Then everyone loves us!

[Timstone]

Originally posted by sachmo:
[QB]It doesn't surprise me that you don't like America...not many people who live outside of our borders seem to these days. Actually, not many people who live INSIDE our borders seem to, either.[QB]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hahaha...

Originally posted by sachmo:
[QB]Maybe we have outlived our usefulness...unless some big, mean, nasty enemy appears! Then everyone loves us![QB]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, sure. The rest of the world can't take care of itself. Okay, you're right about the UN, they SUCK BIGTIME. All those useless conversations. No words, but deeds I say! I know that's a bit more easily said than done, but it still encompasses nicely the general feeling about the whole situation. In that way I like the aproach of the yanks. First we do then we talk... or anything in that direction.

[mac5732]

Ahhh Timstone, if you are into history, you will see that all those countries that were Top Dog at one time or another were all hated, despised or involved jealousy from all the other countries at the time. This included
England, France, Spain, Switzerland, Russia, Portugal, Austira-Hungry, Poland, Germany, and others, including the DUTCH at one time. Now its the US's turn. So history repeats, only the country changes... It happens,

What everyone should do is just play SE4 and enjoy themselves. If a country or two has a gripe, they square off in a SE4 tournament to dtermine the winner, I'm sure Geo or Tesco would set one up for them... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif The losers end up with Growltigga running their countries for say, 2 or 3 yrs... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif that way they would think twice before they gripe.........

just some ideas mac

[sachmo]

Yup, I wish that were the way it was. I wish that my government wouldn't go and stick it's nose into every nook and cranny that rears it's ugly head. Maybe if we didn't, we wouldn't have to worry about people flying planes into buildings. However, what would the world look like? I hope it was (or is?) worth it, because we are paying for it. You may love us or hate us, but nothing comes for free.

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol yeah mac, but who'd want anyone else running their country after GT got hold of it! Imagine the unifroms he'd make women wear, then he'd hide this blatant abuse of power by giving them more rights and stuff...

Actually if a country becomes top dog they are always exploitiing everyone, so no wonder everyone despises america right now. Any way Bush is a bit too trigger happy with that big red nuke button

[Gryphin]

Hey, I thought I was going to get to demonstrate the Gryphin Positon at the party!.

[TerranC]

Originally posted by sachmo:
Yup, I wish that were the way it was. I wish that my government wouldn't go and stick it's nose into every nook and cranny that rears it's ugly head. Maybe if we didn't, we wouldn't have to worry about people flying planes into buildings. However, what would the world look like? I hope it was (or is?) worth it, because we are paying for it. You may love us or hate us, but nothing comes for free.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If the American Military had demobiled and disbanded like it did in world war 1, probably the soviets would have taken their power to all of europe, Except the British isles, nothern africa, and to all of asia, including japan.

Communism *Soviet war communism* would have engulfed most of the world, and by the time America mobiled it's troops, most of the world would have been under the red curtain.

And then USA would fall under Communism with the subsequent trade blocks...

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, you are

Why do you think 74 of our finest FBW are olied up to the hilt and currently wrestling in the honesy pit?

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Gryphin]

74 FBWs? some Liz Hurly look a likes?
Um, Could I have some help? Any volunteers?

[Growltigga]

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

[Gryphin]

Um, 26 "ME"s, is that 26 vollunteers, are you preparing to sing or just want to emphasize your interest?
You will have to remove your outfit.

[Growltigga]

but who'd want anyone else running their country after GT got hold of it! Imagine the unifroms he'd make women wear, then he'd hide this blatant abuse of power by giving them more rights and stuff...

Not sure if this is my first vote or libel actually?!

Growltigga for Il Duce, Growltigga for Generalissimo, Growltigga for King...

..and I would not abuse the fairer sex in any way whatsoever (unless they wanted me to)

[Timstone]

Yes, more good ideas from Mac! Hmm... maybe wisdom does come with the years.

[Growltigga]

The losers end up with Growltigga running their countries for say, 2 or 3 yrs... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif that way they would think twice before they gripe.........

Aha, how much do you think I could embezzle in a 2 year period? how much taking-advantage of the cream of a country's womanhood could I do in a couple of years? how much social reform could I get through in 2 years? how much injustice could I right in a couple of years?

I like this idea, I like it a lot

Growltigga for UN General Secretary, Growltigga for World Leader!

[Timstone]

All hail to Growltigga! Hahaha... ROTFLMAO!!

[ September 18, 2002, 10:08: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[tesco samoa]

http://www.theonion.com/onion3834/bush_sends_troops.html

[Trajan]

Trajan stalks into the Cantina, after having endured three days of his new personna non-grata postion with his company.

Taz --- I'll have three fingers of scotch -- please.

Where is the nearest dark booth where I can sit quietly and ponder the consequences of "harming" my boss.

On a more cheery note... I am sorry to have missed the GT-Scoff party. Maybe I will wander over there and see if I can find a happier place to be.

Anyone have an extra FBW for this married guy?

CHeers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

Trajan, the party goes onto to midnight UK time tonight

at that point, any FBW who havn't already been, ahem, worn out, are yours for the taking

[CNCRaymond]

Happy Bithday PCP. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[CNCRaymond]

http://www.theonion.com/onion3834/bush_sends_troops.html<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Funny, I thought he vowed to hunt down these hackers and make them pay for this new computer virus. Then again, I could be mistaken. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

Growltigga for World Leader! <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well GT, It looks like SJ should have that job by now...4000+ Posts. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Trajan, having trouble holding the scotch in three fingers. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
How about I just give you the whole bottle? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Taz-in-Space:
[QUOTE]
Trajan, having trouble holding the scotch in three fingers. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
How about I just give you the whole bottle? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tazmanian Devils are not the smartes of spiecies on this Earth... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Trajan]

I will gladly take the whole bottle of scotch, since I expect that today will be as boring and frustrating as the past 3 days.

Thanks! Taz.

Cheers!
Trajan

[SNORTpigga]

TYs for sale! Cute little TYs.
Get your TY tiggas! Ty Taz! TY Pigga has wings!
Assume the position and get your TY griffen!!!

[Taz-in-Space]

Tazmanian Devils are not the smartes of spiecies on this Earth...
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">When over half of your body mass is a mouth full of razer sharp teeth http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif and you can eat a moose in a single gulp http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif , who needs to be smart? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

A TY Taz? Sure to be a top seller! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif Ummm, where is: Below the center of the earth? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

[ September 20, 2002, 06:27: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Growltigga]

what does "TY" mean?

anyone selling TY Tiggas is going to get their legs bitten off

[Atrocities]

Thanks CNC. T'waz a nice Birthday. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ September 20, 2002, 09:27: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[Growltigga]

HUMOUROUS BUT TRUE EXCUSE TIME, HUMOUROUS BUT TRUE EXCUSE TIME

Fellow cantina patrons, I am now back in dear old Blighty and am intending to spend a few days off with the current Mrs GT in order to do some extreme expensive damage limitation.

I will be out of touch for those days as my modem on Nicole my PC at home is out of order.

"Why is your modem out of order on Nicole?" I hear you ask.

Right, listen to this, it is completely true.

My brother Steve has been staying at my house whilst I was in Malaysia. Steve is a nice guy, 39 years old, 6 foot 7 tall and weighs in at about 23 stone of which none is fat (he runs, weight trains and kickboxes). He also has a beard and braids it. He is a bit of a biker really.

I digress. Steve has been staying and one night goes out with some friends and proceeds to get awfully drunk indeed. The current Mrs GT puts him to bed. In the middle of the night, a drunken confused Steve wakes up needing a wee wee having quaffed numerous pints of Scruttocks Old Dirigible and other ales. He staggers out of the bedroom in the dark, turns left and left again instead of left and then right and instead of one of the two bathrooms, he walks into my study and proceeds to urinate all over Nicole, thinking that the tower system is in fact armitage shanks' finest porcelain receptable..

Luckily, only the modem is out of action. Everything else seems to have survived if smelling a little bit like Mac

[ September 20, 2002, 17:29: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[mac5732]

All Members, there is an investigation being conducted in the OT-Tigga/Scoff party thread, ck it out and give your opinions....

Mac strolls into the cantina after recuperating from the birthday bash, having expediently exasperated all internal manichanations of the cuisine courses involved. His ministrations with the tidy bowl diety have been discontinued as all foreign substances have been somewhat removed by various means of expiration.

Taz, seeing the old geezer back refreshed from his bash outing, takes down all the air freshners, turns off the fans, and rejoices as the cantina is back to normal once again after the outragious partying at the bash in the cantina party room. (however he still watches some of the other patrons in case of relapses from the party cuisne)

recovered mac http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

GT: That's a smelly story. Yuck, I hope he doesn't do that again. Well much fun with the current mrs. GT!! See you in a few days.

[tesco samoa]

umm what am i going to do... Now when i come home from work i do not have 8 to 12 turns to do...

Hey whats that ... Post here all day... Ok...

[Gryphin]

Growltigga,
Um, "Current Mrs. GT". Does that mean she is electrical? You get a charge out of her?

[Puke]

no, no. "spend time with the current Mrs. GT" should be an address to Mrs. GT: "Spend time with the current, Mrs. GT?" which suggests that she enjoys the appliances more than she enjoys the Mr. GT.

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar walks into the cantina, everything seems normal and quiet...

Suddenly a huge 8 armed reobot (kinda like the repair bay image) shoots up to him and pulls out lots of sharp bladed and probing tools. RD gulps as a red light focuses on his forehead, the machine begisn to buzz.

Target: Raging Deadstar]
Lifeform: Human
Alibi: Yes
Classification: Waste of Air

It flies off, leaving a very confused RD, until he notices Mac, all dressed up in his sherlock holmes gear and universal magnifying glass.

"Ummm mac, do i actually have an alibi cos i wasn't on the list?" then again if the other people don't have an alibi its safe to say what all those blades and weapons on the robot are used for! maybe i shouldn't have said anything...

[Taz-in-Space]

RD - sorry about those big 8 armed robots. Here, have a draft on the house!

Someone must have gotten into Dogscoff's stash of questionable druglike substances as things got out of hand at the end of the party. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
(speaking of THE DOG - where is he?) Just like management to leave the employees to pick up the pieces. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

If service is a little slow, consider those poor FBW's. Between one thing and another, they are all tuckered out. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif Even Barry is a bit hungover. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

GT, Ummm ... you named your computer Nicole? And your brother mistook it for a urinal? Maybe you should... (NO, even I don't want to go THERE! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif )

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Puke:
"Spend time with the current, Mrs. GT?" which suggests that she enjoys the appliances more than she enjoys the Mr. GT.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Which also suggests Puke is going to get a damn good kicking and be assaulted with a surf board next time I am on the West Coast..

The current Mrs GT does like electricity, and I am sure she will be happy to demonstrate this to Puke by wiring electrodes to his ears and sticking 50,000 volts through them, but only after she has finished savaging the local sheep population

[ September 23, 2002, 13:19: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Taz-in-Space:
GT, Ummm ... you named your computer Nicole? And your brother mistook it for a urinal? Maybe you should... (NO, even I don't want to go THERE! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif )<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Taz, what are you trying to suggest?? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

I personify lots of my possessions, my guitar is called "Phoebe", my work car is called "Katya" (it is German) and my landrover is called 'Saba' (people who watch Big Cat Diary will understand). My wife's car is also called Nicole (it is French), the computer is called "Nicole" cos I like the name and I talk to it, the lawn mower is "Chantalle" (one of my parent's pet cows)
and my hammer drill is called "Karen" (after one of my old girlfriends who was a psycho hose-beast)

and as for my brother... everybody makes silly mistakes when under the influence, I have an irrational fear of spoons when I am very drunk and as for the trollies and spider incident..

anyhow, check out my brother's dimensions, would YOU tell him he was a prat?

[tesco samoa]

sugar no all day Posts from me...

WElll I will buy a round of drinks for everyone and place it on fyron's tab....

how is the bash game going for everyone....

Lots of planets...

[Taz-in-Space]

GT, now take it easy there. No need to get upset.
I was just curious about if your brother had a 'Nicole problem'. (I'd keep an eye on your wife's car for awhile http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )

Now I wouldn't even try to suggest
that 'personalizing' inanimate objects is unhealthy in any way. Really. Just say no to anybody that wants to have you try on a new jacket that ties in the back! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

I have an irrational fear of spoons when I am very drunk <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Quite normal. I have this fear of knives, especially big ones.

check out my brother's dimensions, would YOU tell him he was a prat? <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not without somekind of headstart. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

as for the trollies and spider incident..
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sounds interesting...

one of my parent's pet cows <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I take it that they are NOT city folk http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Edited for spelling

[ September 24, 2002, 04:24: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Growltigga]

I was just curious about if your brother had a 'Nicole problem'. (I'd keep an eye on your wife's car for awhile http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Strange you should say that, the car hasa been running a lot better recently, maybe the big fellah did 'let loose' in the petrol tank

Just say no to anybody that wants to have you try on a new jacket that ties in the back! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Aww, does that include the jackets made out of salmon pink rubber with the hood and gag?

I have this fear of knives, especially big ones.

You should also have an irrational fear of being hunterd by two pith helmet wearing crocodiles (and bowling and OJ)

Not without somekind of headstart. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

you would need a very long headstart as my bro' used to run for the county

[QUOTE]as for the trollies and spider incident..

it was interesting, very interesting and very scary - has anyone seen that 8 legged freaks movie yet?

take it that they are NOT city folk http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

arrrr, yew are ded rite theaarr my boy.. oys cum frum the ****ryside I does, larts o' sheep and moo-beasties and trutters and rollicking rosy in the hay, oooo arrrrrr

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, you are right, that would be far too cruel and nasty a thing to do to someone..

maybe I can try and persuade one of the FBW's to lend someone one of their rubber catsuits?

[Gryphin]

oooo, do you think they would lend a cat suit to PoohStar?

[Growltigga]

hmmmm.. not sure it is appropriate for the Gryphin position... maybe you could remedy that with a Swiss army knife or something?

[Raging Deadstar]

RD Has by now passed out, GT combined the two things he was thinking about posting today, Taz (the cartoon) and farmers! Amazing taz got involved as a bar tender, after all his dad is a soft drink drinker ain't he?

Whats scary is i know people who speak a cross between taz and farmers, its terrifying, even more so when they take aim with there shotguns. (It has happened)

Hmmm GT's brother or whatever relation let loose in his car engine? maybe growltigga could persuade barry to "donate" some to the Tigg-scoff battle moons, 100% organic fuel, although i wouldn't want to be at the pump while using it! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Note: Growltigga's recent quote as Tony the tiger at the birthday bash is scary, am i the only guy who pictures him as tony the tiger? Maybe been drinking again! Lol and Timstone, your obsession with that there gearbox is becoming very intimate, i say you get out while you have the chance!

[Timstone]

Get out to where?! My gearbox, my sweet, sweet gearbox must be finished first. Then I'll go wakko and pass myself out on... lollypops?

[Gryphin]

GT, you are not going to let / make some inocent being wear mac's salmon soit? That is cruel.

[Growltigga]

Timstone, you are worrying me. I am over in Holland in a couple of weeks for a proper full blown English stag night..

I suggest youy come with me and discover what life is like outside of gearboxes

RD, I dont quite look like Tony the Tiger, well maybe I do but a more vicious, seriously suave and cool and altogether more preposessing Tony the Tiger

[Growltigga]

Sure Timstone, some of the brown bars are quite interesting. I seem to recall one brown bar just off the Kalverstraat called 'The Hobbit' or something and that was quite interesting...

I do prefer the more modern style bars, more my sort of atmospshere and current fashions often dictate that the bar girls wear a lot less

[Growltigga]

Growltigga walks into the cantina, clutching an IOU from Mac which says 'treat yourself, at my expense, to any drink off the top shelf'

Growltigga walks up to Taz and says, "Taz, my good devil, fetch me down that bottle of 1954 Chateau Lafite Rothschild, take the chains off it, dust it off and check Brown Brothers for the up-to-date price, £37,000 you say, aahhh, that is perfect, poor me a glass of that stuff and leave the bottle, put the cost on Mac's tab' and oh yes, tell all regulars it is time to settle their tabs for this month end"

[mac5732]

ROFL, you wiley old KAT, you ! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

A Going to Bank for Loan Mac

[Raging Deadstar]

RD walks in, and notices mac trying to fly off in his "vintage antique" battleship, mac seems to be jumping up and down, or maybe his wallet hurts so much he can't sit down? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Growltigga, so your kinda a cross between Tony the tiger and the Honey monster, appearence wise tony but u always get the girl like the honey monster, god kellogs will be approaching you soon for advertisements http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Just finsihed downloading the tholian shipset from NASY, Put a drink on My tab for Oleg cos that shipset rules, and maybe atrocities if he stops by for the gorn dreadnought, imagine every shipset at NASY done in that quality and detail.
*Quickly scribbles down a maximum price to avoid a "mac scenario" when they colect free drinks*

[Gryphin]

:: Passes out Softball size Supper Sticky Schlock Bursting balls to all of the patrons, Eplaains to each:
Throw this at anyone making "Canon" remarks about Atrocites ships. ::

[ September 25, 2002, 18:16: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Timstone]

Cool! Where are you heading for? Maybe I could join you. I could show you the best spots for drinking beer.

[Growltigga]

well, we will be in Amsterdam, I guess starting somewhere off Kalverstraat (I do like "firsties" in the Cafe de Kroon on Rembrandtplein), then we will no doubt end up somewhere around the red light district and probably end up in the Cafe Rosa

[Timstone]

By the looks of it, you have a different style than I have.
I like the pubs and the dark bars. The one where you have to take a flashlight with you to see the interior. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif
Your taste is a bit more popular than mine.
And when will you be coming to our beautyful country? And will you take anyone with you from this board?

[Timstone]

I'll be going now (homework http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif ) and I won't be Online (well, I think) tonight. So, if you have something to say to me, just drop me a PM. De balluh!

[ September 25, 2002, 12:45: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Taz-in-Space]

- gulp chew POP hehehe! -
- gulp chew POP hehehe! -
- gulp chew POP hehehe! -

Hey Gryphin, those new SUPPER balls sure are fun to eat!

- gulp chew POP hehehe! -
- gulp chew POP hehehe! -
- gulp chew POP hehehe! ...

[Gryphin]

Wait till taz realizes I meant, "Super Sticky", and that there is a gooyey paste inside.
Gonna be like eating a "big old block of cheese"

[Taz-in-Space]

...after eating about eleventy dozen of the Super Sticky balls Gryphin passed out, Taz can barely pry open his mouth to talk...

'mumble grumble Gry-mm-phin should mmhp warn mm-me! mmmp Did say Supper! mmmmpph' http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/blush.gif

Edited for clarity!

[ September 26, 2002, 04:20: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Puke]

puke averts his attention to avoid noticing Taz eating Gryph's balls.

[Taz-in-Space]

'Mmmmph Puke mmm mmmp big club mmmphh with nails
mmpphhh on head mmphhh many times!' http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Gryphin]

They really were meant to be thrown at anyone using the word "canon" in the forum.
Wait till he finds out they also work as a Constipatory agent

[Timstone]

That should be messy. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

Mac lands his newly purchased "used" Frigate in the cantina parking lot, (it only has 300,000,000,000 miles on it) nods to Barry, throws him the keys and goes over to his favorite table in the cornor. He places his order with one of the L.H. look a like FBW, reclines back and looks over to see what mayhem if any is going on within the precepts of the cantina. He sees the "Taz" over by the bar with several FBW with what appears to be pry bars inserted into his jaw and working most profusly to apparently open his mouth?? Now what the heck did the Taz do now he wonders? He see RD and waves to him, RD shouts over, what happened to your Up to date modern Battle cruiser? Mac looks down and answers, " I made the mistake of not putting a limit on an IOU to the Tigga" I had to sell it, and take a loan out, just to pay my bar tab.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif With what was left over I was able to get a good deal from Jonny's Junky Used Ships Bazzar over on Artimis 3, sigh, sure miss my BC tho, so beware when dealing with that wiley "old" Shrek look a like Tony Tiger wanta be. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Whats with the Taz he asks, RD replies, it was something the Gryphin gave him to eat he answers with a wide smile and tears in his eyes. AAaahhhh Mac shouts back, He should have known better, The Gryphin is just as sneaky as the KAT, oh well live and learn, he should have just eaten some apples, I'll have to tell him about "The Gryphin" and my pizzas awhile back, mac checks over his food verrrry carefullly before beginning to indulge in his breakfast....

just some ideas Mac

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff wanders in, and notices the FBWs working to open Taz's mouth.

"Hey Taz, what's up?"
"MmMMmmmpph."
"What?"
"MmM MmM MmmMMmmmpphh!"
"Happy hour you say? All drinks on your tab all night? Thanks Taz..."
"MMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPHHHH!!!"

*Dogscoff steps behind the bar and pours himself something expensive, as the rest of the Cantina's patrons stampede in that direction..."

[mac5732]

Mac over hears Dogscoff talking with Taz and hears drinks are on the Taz's tab, Mac immediatly mosies over to the bar and places an order for a bottle of Crown Royal, (the big bottle), sure was nice of good old Taz, aaahhh haven't had Crown Royal in a lonnnnggg time, to expensive http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Tks Taz, Here's to ya, gulp, gulp, ahhhhhhh

a relaxing Mac

[Ragnarok]

Wonders into the bar and see that everyone is buying stuff. Asks Mac what's going on and he tells Rags that the drinks are on Taz. Rags likes this idea and jumps over to the bar. I'll take a bottle of that stuff over there. Yeah that's it, the BIG one. Takes a gulp and looks at Taz still trying to pry his mouth open and says: "too bad your mouth is stuck shut man. These drinks are wonderful! And thanks for buying!" Rags walks happily out of the bar.

[Timstone]

I've got a feeling that this is not going to end vwery well for the drinking patrons. Hehe... lots of violence!

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Timstone:
I've got a feeling that this is not going to end vwery well for the drinking patrons. Hehe... lots of violence!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">A subspace communication comes in to Timstones personally communicator. Rags comes across the line and says: "Ahh, I should be ok. I'm almost 300,000 light years away already. My new uber fast Cruiser are getting far away from Taz before he can come after all of us." The communicator goes blank and Rags continues to fly off at ludicris speeds.

[Timstone]

Ah, but you forget, my good friend, that when you return to this fine establishment you WILL be dealt with by The Taz.
For your sake I hope you've already paid of your little drinking dept.

[TerranC]

Taz, a word of advice: Go Get Some Solvent.

And, uh, thanks for the drinks.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Timstone:

For your sake I hope you've already paid of your little drinking dept.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The payment is in the mail!

[Spoo]

[Spoo rolls his empty keg in from Ruath's thread]

Free drinks? Hmm... (Spoo make a quick calculation of how many drinks it will take to fill his keg)

[Baron Grazic]

Baron Grazic a free beer mug. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Baron Grazic strolls into the Bar, takes a look around, waits for no-one to be looking, grabs a Beer Mug and makes a dash for the Exit

[Taz-in-Space]

...as we look in on poor Taz's plight, we see that drastic measures are called for. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

By motioning with his hands Taz get Barry to climb on the roof of the Cantina. Taz then places extra large prybars and levers in his mouth and, motioning the concerned FBW's to a safe distance, has Barry JUMP down onto the other end of the lever arrangment. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

With a loud popping sound heard at least half way around the world, Taz's upper jaw is released from the lower one and Taz's pent up angry yells are released into the open air. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

Luckly aimed away from the more densely inhabited parts of the planet, this torrent of profanity and anquish only causes a few minor disaster areas:
The Enchanted Forest is now the Blighted Woods.
The Inner Sea is now the Blistering Desert.
And the Milehigh Mountains has a new sealevel pass.

Taz then calmly walks over to the bar and, with a grand gesture of his hand, peels off the label with his name that he had placed on Dogscoff's tab. An experianced bartender NEVER gives out free drinks on his OWN tab. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

GT did say to collect on the bar tabs... Now where is that Dogscoff fellow? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
(MMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPHHHH!! = IT'S YOUR OWN TAB!!)

[ September 27, 2002, 06:06: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Timstone]

Get them Taz, get those freedrinkers! Please do it with lots of violence!
BTW, I sell rocks, you can throw them at those insolents.

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff looks at the enormous tab which suddenly bears his name at the top. He looks exaggeratedly dismayed, much to the delight of Taz and other onlookers. He orders another round of drinks on the tab and then, with a wry smile, he scratches at the name with a fingernail. The word "Dogscoff" is actually written on top of a blob of correction fluid, which scratches off to reveal the word...

Ragnarok.

Dogscoff heads leisurely back to the table, and silently offers thanks to the laws of cartoon physics which preside over the Cantina.

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff heads leisurely back to the table, and silently offers thanks to the laws of cartoon physics which preside over the Cantina.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">A quick Schlockmercenary- style note on the laws of cartoon physics:

The laws of cartoon physics are much like normal physics, but with certain amendments to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. It all comes down to quantum physics:

In normal quantum physics, the Uncertainty Principle proves that the state of certain sub-atomic objects is fundamentally unknowable. This is essentially due to the fact that these objects can be either waves or particles depending on how the observer chooses to measure them- the observer can measure its momentum or its position, but by measuring one he makes the other unmeasurable. Thus, the more is known about one, the less is known about the other. In fact, ironically, the only thing that can be known exactly is how much can't be known. These laws only apply on a quantum scale, but on that scale anything is actually possible - a particle could immediately move to the other side of the universe, although this isn't very likely, so probably doesn't happen very often. However, since the macroscopic world we live in is made up of countless tiny quantum particles, the implications for philosophy and even theology are immense - there is an implication that the whole stability of physical reality depends on whether or not anyone is looking. It certainly is not in keeping with the old determinist notion that the that the universe ticks on whether we're here to look at it or not, and that the future state of an object can be accurately extrapolated from absolute knowledge of its current state and application of known physical laws. Under quantum physics, the best that can be done is to work out how likely a possible future state is. It was this leap into the realms of statistics which prompted Einstein's famous statement that "God does not play dice with the universe".

In cartoon physics, all of the above applies, but with the added proviso that the uncertainty of a particle's state is governed not only by how that particle is being observed, but by which state the observer would find funniest. In other words, by observing an event, the observer makes the outcome with the highest comic potential the most probable one. The practical and philosophical implications of this theory are even more unsettling. For example, when Cartoon Einstein made the statement "God does not play dice with the the universe", a giant pair of pink, fluffy dice fell immediately and inexplicably from the heavens and squashed him. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

There are some excellent short films published on the subject by Prof. Chuck Jones, and for those who are really interested, there are courses in cartoon physics at Warner Loonyversity.

[ September 27, 2002, 10:22: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Gryphin]

:: Walks in, Looks around, Is amazed at what a simple Super Sticky ball will do.
Can Taz read? clearly labled on the outside:
"Not to be taken internaly"

[Gryphin]

Well, this is post 901.
Are we going to close this at 1000?

[Growltigga]

Dick Dastardly has tripped over Penelope Pitstop and is fighting her on the floor of the cantina, at least, I think they are fighting http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Do not fear however, the Hair Bear Bunch have taken up pursuit and along with He-Man, Tom and Butch, Hong Kong Phooey, Foghorn Leghorn, Growltigga and Barry, that dratted drink-stealing business-ruining good-for-nothing ratbag Ragnarok is about to get his Fimbulvinter RIGHT UP the bifrost and no mistake...

The chase continues with Ragnarok dressed up as a giant mouse...

And in true British style (and as it is such an effective form of vermin control), on sight of a mouse, it is time to put on your Sunday best, let loose a pack of cats (tigers in this case), cry "Tally Ho" and hunt the bugger till he is ripped in twain.. HAAALLLLOOOOOOOOO

[Growltigga]

TAALLLLLLYYYYYY HHOOOOOOOOOOOO

A terrified, abject but reasonably rapid Ragnarok charges down the stairs of the cantina, onto the dancefloor, across the bar area and into the kitchen, pursued by a red jacketed Growltigga mounted on Barry, blowing a trumpet and shouting "HALLLOOOOOOOOOOOO" at the top of his voice, closesly followed by a snarling pack of vicious tigers, numerous carton characters and for some inexplicable reason, a full chorus line doing high kicks.......

[tesco samoa]

I think that we should close this one at 1200.

We will increase it by 200 each time...

We don't want some BAB5 thread beating us do we

Change of thought.

We close it right after we pass BAB5..

[Growltigga]

HALLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

We wont close this thread until we have caught Ragnarok and hung him up by the short and curlies!!!

TALLLLYYYYY HOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Trajan]

Trajan ducks into the cantina, after another in a yet a long string of interviews with the disney company. Noticing the hallabalooooo that is currently happening, Trajan grabs a cold Bass Ale from the bar and sits down to enjoy the show.

pursued by a red jacketed Growltigga mounted on Barry, blowing a trumpet and shouting "HALLLOOOOOOOOOOOO <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You mounted Barry? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif no that must be a site to behold. No wonder you are blowing a trumpet in celebration. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Cheers!
Trajan

[mac5732]

Stage right;;; Baron Grazic running towards the exit, aahahhh I made it, I made it, he laughs to himself and THEN.... Taz, who is trying to put his jaw back together, see GT and the rest of the posse in hot pursuit, looks over and sees the Baron, a shiny glint appears in his blood shot eyes, Hey he didn't sign for that mug, He looks down, and presses a green button benethe the bar, He smiles.... Stage Left,
The Baron is at the exit, he laughs out loud, I'm outta here and I did it, (However, he fails to notice the shiny blinking light above the exit door, nor does he notice a trap door opening over head and a large cylinder protruding out. Its the heavy duty, electro, super Discomboobulator... Just as Baron Grazic reaches the door, a oranges beam strikes him square, He screams as his torso wrenchs itself inside out with his inniards now on the outside looking in....as his brain tissue starts to rotate at the top, 2 FWB walks up with what appears to be cream pies fromt the pie dispenser, they both let go at the same time, SPALLETER, SPLATTER.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Taz, chuckling, goes back to watching the racing posse, NO ONE GETS A MUG WITHOUT SIGNING FOR IT... He yells out loud,.... Stage left, the gooey mess at the exit has attracted what appears to be some of Dogscoffs minions, they are grinning and starting to lick at the pile of internal organs on the outside, they smile, huge teeth appear, tongues start swishing back and forth..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Growltigga]

Trajan, I mounted Barry with a ladder..

and mounted in the sense of riding him rather than any smutty disney-esque connotations you are coming up with young man...

anyway... must dash, HAALLLLOOOOOOOO

a terrified Ragnarok, still with mouseketeer ears on, sprints from the kitchen out onto the patio, only seconds ahead of the snarling hullaballoo of frenzied tigers, which have now been joined by the killer mongoose pack GT had been keeping in the kitchen, closely followed by the chinese stir-fry chef, the Swedish commis-chef and the Morroccan snake-charmer who was sorting out 'that' problem with the dish washer, all chased by myriad cartoon characters, the chorus girls and for some strange reason, the whole Brazilian 1998 world cup squad and associated samba band, and of course, Growltigga in his hunting pinks riding on armour plated Barry the T Rex brings up the rear, blowing his horn for Britian

HALLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Gryphin]

He is doing the "hunting" thing because there is a debate in England about ending Fox Hunting

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar enters the cantina, walks over to mac and hands him the keys to his battlecrusier.
"Here you go Mac, for all your years of *cough*service*cough* to the cantina"
walks off praying Mac deactivates the alarm, for the pens full of bingo loving old grandmas will be activated, although will Mac enjoy that????

Walks in to see GT in a red suit and weird hunting hats blowing a trumpet thingy riding around on barry. I never Knew GT was in favour of fox hunting, or in this case ragnarok hunting.

Also barry's bringing up the rear????? i bet that smarts http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif Your Blowing your horn for britain AND theres a snake charmer fixing the dishwasher!! With all these smutty references the cantina's gonna become certificate 18 lol

Walks over to hong kong phooey and requests karate lessons, theres no superhero better!!

Ahh, after many hours of watching Hong Kong Phooey smash everythign in sight during training RD sits back, is amazed his new avatar and sig work and relaxes....

Only to be knocked out by the FBW with the frying pan! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ September 27, 2002, 18:48: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

haha... yes nice avatar and signature RD. Good job. Hmm... maybe I follow up on that trend too.

[Raging Deadstar]

Yeah, the avatars matt bellamy from muse (not really metal but i like them) and the poetry is something i do in my sparetime. I started a trend???

*faints*

maybe u could have a picture of ur beloved gearbox? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

Rags continues to try and flee from the stampede of different cartoon people through and around the cantina. Suddenly he trips and falls to the ground. Gets back up and starts running again. Only everyone is closer now due to his fall. In desperation he yells back to everyone: "I said the check was in the mail!!" Seeing that this does no good at stopping the maddnes he reaches in his wallet and pulls out 200,000 minerals. "Here, this should cover it" he then tosses it all backwards at them... He continues to run just in case that doesn't work. All the meanwhile wondering how the heck he got mickey mouse ears on him. Heck, the whole suit for that matter.

[Growltigga]

Dogscoff's eyeballs suddenly shoot out of their sockets, his tongue sticks 2 feet out of his mouth and his hair stands on end, all this accompanied by the sound of a humourous siren going "AWOOGA"...

The cause of Dogscoff's distress hove's into view, Ragnarok, with a pair of mickey mouse fanclub ears on, is running very fast (his legs look like little spinning wheels, whilst being pursued by a fanged Growltigga yeowling something about 'extended credit to customers' closely followed by Barry doing his best Jurassic Park III impression closely followed by the cutest (Jessica Rabbit-esque) FBW clutching a frying pan closesly followed by Dick Dastardly and Muttley who in turn are closely followed by Hong Kong Phooey who are closely followed by a plethora of humour other cartoon characters.... ALL AFTER RAGNAROK'S BLOOD

[Timstone]

Go Dick Dastardly!

[Timstone]

RD: No, no pics of my beloved gearbox, it's just calculations and some drawings in AutoCAD. Really boring for someone who didn't made the calculations and drawings. Not very spectacular.

[Timstone]

Yo Rags, if you can't cover your bill, give me a scream. I'll help you out. For a price...

Nah, just give me a scream when you need help.

[Growltigga]

HALLLLOOOOOOO

The hunt continues.. despite Ragnarok's pitiful offer of 200,000 minerals, the Cantina's blood is now up and nothing other than a good cubbing will settle the score.. Tally Ho, cue stampede of tigers (there's uncle Ron and cousin Doreen), mongooses, cartoon superheroes, chorus girls, Barry and GT..

PS Hong Kong Phooey is the number 1 superguy..

PPS Gryphin, the fox hunting debate is raging over here. I am keeping out of it but generally support hunting when it is part of a environmental-preserve based scheme, rather than blatant slaughter...

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar smiles as Ragnarok jumps over his table, closely followed by.

GT
GT's Family Including MRS GT!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
Barry
Mongooses
Cartoon superheroes
Chorus girls (from a choir??? those are lethal)
FBW's
A random assortment of Dogscoffs Giant Squids who have joined in
And GT'S little cousin who runs along 5 metres behind everyone else carrying a mallet twice the size

Obviously Hunting season has begun, *pulls out a 12 gauge shotgun, adds elmer fudd hat*
Be Wery Wiet, I'm Hwunting Wagnawoks hehehehehe

*Pulls trigger and Ragnaroks Mickey Mouse ears are half destroyed and cinged,*

That waskly wagnawok

*Takes aim yet again* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ September 28, 2002, 19:44: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[TerranC]

Kill the wabbit~ Kill the wabbit~

[Captain Kwok]

Raging Deadstar:

Is your avatar a pic of Annie Lennox?

[ September 29, 2002, 00:05: Message edited by: Captain Kwok ]

[Ragnarok]

Rags continues to try to get away from everyone. (Too many to list) He then asks how much his bill is. He hears the final total and his jow drops and he trips over it. He reaches in his pocket real quick and pulls out his credit card. Here, here, take this, it'll cover it I swear....

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Captain Kwok:
Raging Deadstar:

Is your avatar a pic of Annie Lennox?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">He wish. Annie Lennox is cool!

[Raging Deadstar]

Annie Lennox?????????????
Did i miss somethign here!

It's matt bellamy from a favourite band of mine called muse. Who The *beep* is annie *beeping* lennox????

[Timstone]

Wow, you don't know Annie Lennox?! She sang the song: "No more I love you's" (her biggest hit).
Do a search with Kazaa or something on it. I think she kicks ***. I only put on her music when I feel very happy otherwise I would feel very bad in a jiffy. But generaly she makes nice music.

[Timstone]

GT: How was your weekend in Amsterdam? Nog wat leuks gedaan? En natuurlijk waar ben je geweest?

[Raging Deadstar]

Ahhh amsterdam, GT obviously picking up some new FBW's, and i donated him a couple of hundred, do tigers have high sex drives or something?

[Timstone]

No, of course not. Why do you think they are on the verge of extinction? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Captain Kwok]

Raging Deadstar:

You are from England and you don't know Annie Lennox...not even from when she was in the Eurythmics?

"Sweet Dreams"
"Here Comes the Rain Again"

Where some of the biggest hits in the '80s.

She kind of looks like your guitar player I guess - never heard of muse. What kind of stuff do they play?

[Growltigga]

TALLYYY HOOOOO WHOOOOAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

The hunt comes to an abrupt halt, all eyes turn toward Taz who has just swiped Ragnarok's credit card, eyes wait expectantly and with a desultory beep, the swipe machine announces that payment in full has been made.

Growltigga dismounts from Barry and walks over to a trembling, cowering and thoroughly chastised Ragnarok, "Rags old boy" says the mighty cat, "no hard feelings and all but you should appreciate that business is business. The problemn is is that we have had so much fun chasing you and trying to rip you limb from limb, that we really dont want to stop just yet as we haven't had as much of a laugh since Gryphin caught his tackle in the mangle. Tell you what, have a 10 minute breather whilst I sharpen the fangs on Barry and check out that chorus line and we shall start again.. we'll give you a 20 second head-start"

PS Timstone, I go to Hamsterdam next weekend

PPS TerranC, only tigers of the 'Growltigga; variety have a high sex drive, it is because we have too much testosterone sloshing about!!

[Timstone]

The high testosteron amount in the Growltigga species would mean they go bald very quickly.

[Growltigga]

that's me, Growltigga by name, follicly challenged by nature

[Gryphin]

Speaking of "Tackle in the Mangle",
1) I want all recordins digital and analog destroyed, Permanently
2) We never did find out who set that trap!
3) Should there be another investigation?

[Growltigga]

TALLY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ragnarok runs into the carpark pursued by the horde, hell, at least he is getting a good workout

[Ragnarok]

AHHHH!!!! Rags is getting tired but then he opens up a can of: "Run like Hell" That gives him the energy he needs to continue on. He then adruptly stops and looks to the security camara in the parking lot. He smiles and holds up the can and says: "Run like Hell. It gives YOU the power, and energy you need to run from mobs of people in a cartoon violence cantina." He then spots the mob closing in on him and he starts to run and says as a final statement for the camara: "So remember, if you're ever in a situation where you're being chased. Just remember to drink 'Run like Hell', it'll keep you running for a Hell of a long time." He then finally just dashes off running trying to get away. "I've lost 5 pounds already. As if I wasn't skinny enough!"

[Growltigga]

In a state of temper (before he was just mildly miffed) at the unwarranted commercialism employed by Ragnaroks, Growltigga rings up his cousin Fritz, his uncle Suleiman and his second cousin (twice removed) Shaka.......

Ragnarok is sprinting over the carpark, his limbs supercharged with fear and the aid of modern pharmaceuticals, he fails to see the squadron of Stukas sweeping down upon him, bombs falling away and a suspicious tiger shaped feldwebel sniggering into his cockpit as the bombs land upon Ragnarok's head. Dazed and confused from the blitz, Ragnarok stumbles toward the lawn next to the carpark, and is even more dazed when a horde of Bedouin horsemen charge toward him, scimitars swinging and yelling warcries and led by a shrouded tigga-esque figure dressed a la Sean Connery in "Lion of the Desert", he scampers off but is soon overtaken and is put subject to the horrible curse of 'may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits', scratching furiously, Ragnarok stumbles off to the grass verge just beyond the carpark and then stops when he hears the sound of assegai beating up on shields... the cry goes up

"U Su Tu"
UUUUUUU
"U Su Tu Ragnarok"
UUUUUU
"U Su Tu ana Americana"
UUUUUUUUU

Ragnarok stands there gibbering as 3,000 zulu warriors charge over the crest of the grass verge and proceed to give him a damn good kicking. The Last thing he sees is a tiger, respendlant in ostrich plumes and rhinoscerous hide shield, raising a large knobkerrie over his head and bringing it down at speed......

After 15 minutes or so, the zulus stride off leaving a battered pile of shredded web designer lying on the floor, Growltigga signals the hunt to a halt and dismounts off Barry, he strides over to the shattered remnants of Ragnarok, touches him lightly on the arm and says 'Gotcha'.

With a signal to his minions, Ragnarok's remains are scooped up into a Walmart pLastic bag and taken back to the cantina, they are placed in the "Quasi Tachyon Disintegration Reversal Polarisation Cannon" and with a press of a button, a naked 'good as new' Ragnarok is standing in the cantina, looking glad to be alive but hellishly embarassed at the sight of 10,000 people laughing at his wedding tackle..

In fact, the FBW's think it is the funniest thing they have seen since Gryphin got drunk and stood on Mac's colostomy bag whilst line dancing

[ September 30, 2002, 17:45: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
In fact, the FBW's think it is the funniest thing they have seen since Gryphin got drunk and stood on Mac's colostomy bag whilst line dancing<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thats an incident I don't even want to think about!!! It must be one of those moments captured on cantina cctv for future generations humour

Annie Lennox? 80's pop singer? hello i already said i'm 16 lol

Raging Deadstar smiles and watches back as the king of cartoon violence decimates Ragnarok. RD Has a feeling, a feeling he cannot hold back anymore...

*Walsk over to timstone, smiles evily whilst he sets up a trap. Gives Timstone a wedgie, he jumps forward and falls onto his table, the table now attached to a giant spring launches him up into the air. Timstone crashes off the roof, lands back down on the table now complete with a huge custard pie, timstone is catapulted outside of the cantina via an open window. Crashes onto GT's private newly polished battlemoon which rolls over barry's tail.

Barry flicks up timstone with his foor and smacks him high up into the air like a baseball with his tail. RD smiles, pulls out his bazzoka, says goodbye and proceeds to blow Timstone out of the sky! Timstone crashes through the roof of his ship, hits the floor and is promptly hit on thehead by his beloved gearbox that fell from his workbench*

Sorry Timstone, but i had to get that out of my system http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ September 30, 2002, 18:23: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff goes into the kitchen and comes out with a bottle of Fairy Liquid (that's a UK brand of washing up liquid, foreigners).

He squeezes a small amount of the green fluid onto the floor and waits. After a few seconds, with a miniature, magical puff, an extremely tiny and extremely effeminate man in a ballerina outfit appears above the puddle, fluttering in the air on his little gossamer wings.

The fairy flies up to Raging Deadstar and taps him gently on the head with his wand (not his "wand", his wand.) "Oh you poor thing" simpers the fairy. "You missed out on my favourite decade." There is a twinkling of pixie dust and RD is immediately kitted out in classic mid-80s clothing: Big shoulder pads, spikey hair, tight jeans and a denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up. The fairy disappears.

Horrified, RD tears off the hideous clothing to find that underneath is a 1981 new romantic outfit, complete with big frilly cuffs and make-up. RD pulls this off to find another 80's outfit undeneath, and another, and another...

Finally he sets himself on fire in an attempt to rid himself of the nightmarish wardrobe and runs screaming from the Cantina...

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, I thought it was Mac who set that trap. but at least it was good to se you singing falsetto for a while...

forget about it and join in the possee chasing Ragnarok. We will let you have a leg when we catch him

[Gryphin]

Thanks but I can't keep up with cartoon violence. I don't understand the phisycs.
GT, check your PM.

[ September 30, 2002, 12:12: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga walks int the cantina and asks Dogscoff why a blazing inferno, dressed as Adam Ant, has just sprinted past him heading into the carpark.....

and can Dogscoff explain why the carpark is apparently hosting a New Romantic Revival Concert whilst is full of middle aged men with wedge haircuts and ruffles all singing along to Spandau Ballet songs......

"Sheeesh" thinks Growltigga, "bring back Ram Jam anyday"

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar finally extinguishes himself and runs into his ship in the parking lot.

Thank god i was too young to remember the 80's!!!

RD smiles evily, he wants to mess around with decades huh.

RD grabs his ex girlfriends mum, who promptly ties up dogscoff with a washing line to a chair. A Large cloud of smoke (most likely drugs) engulfs the area and numerous power tools can be heard. The cloud finally disperses leaving dogscoff with long hair, red sunglasses, numerous peace symbols around his neck and in full hippy get up.

Dogscoff screams, GT's fur stands on end, macs delicate hearing is permenantly damaged and most glasses smash (luckily gt was smart enough to encase all bottles of alchol in anti-banshee wailing bottles)

RD Smiles, pushes a button, and about 50 old middle aged women hippies, complete with wrinkles and cardigans chase after dogscoff, who promptly runs off into the parking lot, followed closely by the mob of women.

[mac5732]

hmmm, naked, body painted FBW, hmmm, Mac rushes out to his eye doctor to obtain special zoom in lens glasses...........LH naked and in body paint, oh my, the ticker is going to be over worked again, time to change the colostomy bag, since the best one was ruined by Gryphin's dancing
as I can see my extra usage coming up.......

GT, you forgot the unscrupulous individual who tried to abscond with one of your precious, Katonlina Mugs early when you were out leading the posse against RD, You need to thank the Taz for his diligent observance of the dasardly deed

now where are those new FBW Mac http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by mac5732:

GT, you forgot the unscrupulous individual who tried to abscond with one of your precious, Katonlina Mugs early when you were out leading the posse against RD, You need to thank the Taz for his diligent observance of the dasardly deed<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">GT was leading out a posse against me? Lol, i thought that was ragnarok. Good thing Dogscoff out ran all the middle aged hippies, maybe i was being rather mean to him on that note, but then again he dressed me up like an 80's pop signer *shudders*

I swear i havn't stole anything, well maybe i bought a load of drinks on gt's tab when he was away but then again taz will inform you they went to a good cause. (himself)

[Ragnarok]

Rags wonders around the Cantina still looking for something to wear. Looks at RD and says; "Hey man, nice clothes... No seriously... At least you have some..." He then runs outside into his BC and grabs another uniform. Walks back into the Cantina and says; "You really should fix that piece of machinery there, it rematrializes you without clothes on. But of course maybe that's what you're going for..."

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol, RD remembers he looks like an eighties throwback and runs off to his ship, gets dressed and returns.

"God thank god he never dressedme up in spandex, noew that would be terrifying!!!"

*quickly activates his anti-spandex clothes forcefield*

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:

"God thank god he never dressedme up in spandex, noew that would be terrifying!!!"

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tisk tisk man. You mean you didn't realize that you were in spandex underwear for a breif moment everytime you changed?

[Wardad]

The latest thing in the world of fashion, thanks to Elizabeth Hurley: sequinned XXXX hair extensions!

http://www.snopes2.com/spoons/noose/hurley.htm

It's OK GT, It's not true.

[TerranC]

FBW???

[Raging Deadstar]

AHHHHH I WAS IN SPANDEX!!!!!! *shudders*

FBW= Fluffy Bunny Waitresses i think, correct me if i'm wrong
Well mac should be drooling and was right. His colostomy bag is gonna be used *even bigger shudder*

[ October 01, 2002, 22:00: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
AHHHHH I WAS IN SPANDEX!!!!!! *shudders*
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You shudder at the fact that you were in spandex. We all know the truth though. You love it, you think spandex is the best thing since sliced bread. Don't you?! You know what I hear? I hear that when beer gets on spandex, it shrinks even more! Rags then buys (cash, not tab) a Corona, he then nods at the FBW that gave it to him and turns around quickly and throws it on RD. RD then starts to gasp for air as the spandex that he had on under his clothes shrinks. He starts to squeal too as his tow package is taking the brut of the force. Rags then says: "HA! I knew it!"

[Raging Deadstar]

Decides this is war for the 3rd time in 2 days. *Grabs Ragnarok, dresses him up in spandex, ties him up and hangs him from the roof like a Piñata or one of those things you tie up and beat with sticks. The FBW's proceed to take out a hoose pipe of cheap american beer and sprays rags with it, leaving him to turn blue and squeeze his "wedding tackle" to non-reproductive standards.
They then begin to beat the now helpless rags with sticks until he is even black and bluer. Rags is then take down and yet again put in the "Quasi Tachyon Disintegration Reversal Polarisation Cannon" and is naked yet again*

Deja Vu anyone?

[Puke]

puke comes out of the water closet, and looks about at the mayhem:

"i always thought spandex was best to be left on the ladies, (but not left on them for very long)."

puke pulls up a barstool and orders a rum and coke, leaving the rest of the room to wonder how he managed to pronounce a paranthetical statement.

[dogscoff]

Having easily outsprinted the middle aged hippies and lost them outside a health food shop on the other side of town, Dogscoff returns to the cantina in the Woodstock-esque outfit.

Since retro- fashions are all the rage at the moment, several of the FBWs come over to ask him about the cool clothes. When they express an interest in dressing up themselves, Dogscoff tells them that it was customary at rock festivals in the 60s for girls to strip naked and be painted up in peace symbols. Oh, and free love was very popular at the time, too.

Dogscoff retires to his battlemoon's penthouse continent with a bevy of FBWs and a big bucket of edible body paint.

Peace...

[ October 01, 2002, 12:11: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Ragnarok]

Rags gets another outfit from his ship and puts it on. Man, 2nd one this week. At this rate I'll have to buy some more uniforms by next month. Yeesh. Still battered and bruised he walks back into the Cantina and finds RD sitting at a booth with 2 FBWs. He says; "Excuse me ladies, may I have a moment with this fellow?" The FBWs nodd and kiss RD goodbye and say that they'll be back on their dinner break. Rags sits down and says; "Ok, we're even man, I just couldn't resist the whole Spandex bit, but you got me back. What'll ya say? Truths?" RD nods in agreement and Rags extends his hand out to make it final on a shake. RD also extends and they shake, RD then starts to compulsivly(sp) jerk around. Rags lets go and he stops. Rags looks at his hand and laughs... Oh those ring buzzers never fail. They are such a classic device. Rags stands up and says; "No hard feelings eh. Let me buy you a beer." He then orders whatever RD wants that's under 200 minerals. He then happily walks out of the Cantina into his ship and flies off at ludicris speeds.

[Growltigga]

a large shepherd's crook appears from stage left, proceeds over the cantina and hoiks Dogscoff by the neck... Dogscoff is suddenly yanked back into the cantina...

"NO NO NO NO NO NO" says Growltigga, "You are not ruining another lots of FBW's by introducing them to free love and body paint and all that hippy sierra-club stuff"... "Do you realise how much those FBW's cost the cantina, wear and tear on G strings and feathers and all the rest?? I am not having any Tigg-Scoff employee harming my profit margin....."

[mac5732]

RD, I most profusely apoligize for the mistake, you were not the misgotten individual that tried to abscond with one of GT's mugs, it was the Baron Grazic (see earlier post page 3 or 4), I did not mean to mismerch your impeccable reputation especially with your spandex fetish. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif I do hereby apoligize and profuse to buy you a brew or two as long as it doesn't go over 500 minerals.

Wardad, I read the article you linked involving my dream mate L.H. I must say, a photo would have been most appreciated in the column, however, it is always most appropoe to read tid bits in regards to herself. Suffice to say, I must just render myself to the L.H. look a like FBW's here in the cantina.... sigh.... but thks for the ariticle

PS, In regards to my colostomy bag, it has been replaced with a new Disfuser Polmer Refuse Distributor (DPRD for short) that makes it no longer necessary to engross upon the carrying of the old bag. Since this new modern technique has been but to use, I have mailed all my old used bags sealed in pLastic containers to GT, where I'm sure the aging Kat will put them to good use http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas mac

[Baron Grazic]

As if on queue Baron Grazic finially works out how to move his finger into the inside of pants pocket to press his 'Re-atomiser' to transform himself back into, well, himself.

'Alright, I won't try that again. Now tell me where do I sign for to take my Mug home and give me a cold one while I wait'.

[Puke]

Originally posted by Baron Grazic:
As if on queue Baron Grazic finially works out how to move his finger into the inside of pants pocket to press his 'Re-atomiser' <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">oh, so THATS what you're calling it now? there's really no need to share your silly little synonyms for pocket-pool with the rest of the Cantina patrons.

[Baron Grazic]

oh, so THATS what you're calling it now? there's really no need to share your silly little synonyms for pocket-pool with the rest of the Cantina patrons. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">With a sly smerk Baron Grazic places both hands flat down on the Bar in open view, still in close reach of his new Cantina Mug just incase someone tries to steal it.

[Taz-in-Space]

So Baron G, you ready to sign for that mug? I said it was free, but not free to steal!
GT requires you to sign the following large stack of forms...in triplicate. Ohh and there is a 20 mineral notory fee.
(Just wait till those fellows that won the kegs see what hoops THEY will have to jump through!)
- time fast forwards several hours -
See... wasn't that easy?? Now you have your very own Official Cantina Mug!

[Baron Grazic]

Thanks Taz, my first collectable.
Now how about getting my own FBW or better yet a dozen? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Growltigga]

Baron Grazic turns round at the polite tap on his shoulder and looks directly down the largest gun muzzle he has ever seen. At the end of the muzzle can be seen a pair of orange and black striped ears and a pair of beady squinting feline eyes...

Behind said beady eyes stands a large T-Rex in a valet jacket, strangley wearing a pair of tattered mickey mouse ears and holding a large revving chainsaw

"Baron, collectable cantina mugs you can have (subject to signing the appropriate accidental damage waiver and augmented indemnity and unlimited payment and 'commit your whole family into slavery' forms') BUT FBW's ARE NOT FOR SALE"

[Growltigga]

ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE CANTINA...

Chaps, chappesses, non-humans and anthropomorphic personifications of cartoon characters, lend me your ears (Note to Taz, put the steak and kidney pudding back on the menu!!)

I have resigned my employment at my current firm which means that at some point in the next few days/weeks/months (depending on when they boot me out), I will be going off air for an indeterminable period...

I do have a PC at home and shall be able to dial up occassionally (can't afford the call charges during peak time)..

This is just a warning to you all that if I suddenly disappear from the cantina, I will be back at some time in the future...

I appoint Dogscoff as my regent to act on my behalf (OK Dogscoff, you can have the battlemoon with the gold llame), Taz and Dogscoff, keep up the cartoon violence,

I will be back

[dogscoff]

Taz and Dogscoff, keep up the cartoon violence,
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Aye aye sir.

*Dogscoff sits down and immediately a saw can be seen cutting a circle in the floor around Dogscoff's chair from beneath. The circle reaches completion, there is a minute pause, and then the entire cantina, with the exception of the circle of wood supporting Dogscoff, plummets out of view...

[Growltigga]

oh and Dogscoff and Taz, please note you are responsible for paying for any breakages due to your cartoon violence...

where the hell has the cantina gone?

Growltigga stares at Dogscoff sitting on his chair and pulling his best "I am innocent" face.. Growltigga whistles and Barry comes running up, Growltigga slips on his hunting pinks, climbs aboard Barry and blows his bugle, a horde of killer tigers, rabid mongooses, ravening giant squid, cartoon characters, FBW's and chorus girls charge up....

Dogscoff gulps and sprints off into the distance, pursued by the horde.....

TALLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[dogscoff]

In best cartoon tradition, Dogscoff runs off screen to the right, and the hunting horde is then seen steaming in from the left. The pack passes by and tagging along at the end there is Dogscoff, in full hunting gear, halloooing and cheering with the rest of them...

[Growltigga]

and then in best Hanna Barbere tradition, the hunting horde screech to a halt, volte face and there is Dogscoff face to face with 27 irate tigers, 424 ravening mongoose, 6 extremely large calamari-surprises in the making and a chainsaw clutching T-rex mounted by a debonair Tiger carrying a bugle and a mashie niblick.....

the chase now goes right to left

[Trajan]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

I just walked into the new EVP's office and saw the 48"x30" new painting/copy of The Coronation of Napolean I hanging on the wall. The gilded frame was just enough to take it over the top.

Keep in mind that my company is struggling to survive and get investors to drop some cash in our coffers. I think this painting wont do much to help the cause.

Now I wish they had fired me two weeks ago so that didnt have to see this.

<~sigh~>
Trajan

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff scarpers across the screen, turning a corner and colliding with a very expensive looking gilt framed painting of Napoleon, so that his head is poking through the canvas at the point where Napoleon's head should be.

Suitably disguised, he awaits the Hunters, who duly stop to ask "Hey Napolean, did you see Dogscoff come through here?" Dogscoff just points down the hall and walks casually back in the other direction, while the horde storms away...

[ October 02, 2002, 16:01: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

before Growltigga reminds the hunt that Napoleon shuffled off this mortal coil almost 200 years ago....

The hunt reverses and charges after the now visible Dogscoff....

TALLLYYYY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Growltigga wanders if his uncle Alp Alsan is around at the moment

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff hurries around another corner (having run past the same bit of furniture 13 times in the style of Hanna Barabara cartoons=-) and finds himself at a dead end. He produces a pot of paint and hurriedly paints an open window onto the wall. He hops through the window to freedom.

The hunting horde rounds the corner and leap to go through the window, and all pile up messily as they hit the solid wall. Barry is Last, with Growltigga on his back desperately trying to persuade him to stop. Unfortunately, T-Rex's aren't very clever (brains the size of peas, you know) and he too tries to jump through the window, hits the wall (and hitting GT's head on the ceiling) and crashes down on top of the dazed hunting party, squashing them all flat. Little birds appear to fly tweeting in a ring above the pile. Tigga sits atop the whole mess, rubbing his head and cursing.

Dogscoff sticks his head back in through the window and sticks his tongue out with a road-runner sound effect and then disappears.

[Growltigga]

With a boing, the hunting party all reinflate to normal size, Growltigga gets out his magic pen and draws a door on the wall which, heyho, opens to allow the possee egress to Dogscoff...

Dogscoff is sprinting ahead, just a Growltigga, in true cartoon fashion, rings up ACME and orders one of their express '16 ton weight' airdrop service specials, the weight falls directly on top of a worried looking Dogscoff...

SPLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

Growltigga, being of heroic proportions, lifts up the weight and a severely flattened Dogscoff, little fat feet sticking out either side and a pair of beady eyes on top, shuffles out from under the 26 ton weight, just in time for Barry to sit on him

[Trajan]

Trajan reaches into the Napolean painting, snatches the Pope's hat, dusts off Barry, and puts the hat on his head.

Barry smiles, scoops up Tigga using his head and tosses him back on his shoulders.

Snatching a trumpet from the painting, Trajan blows a note to signal the start of the chase anew.

The hunting pack leaps through the hole in the wall, neatly made by Barry's rather solid head, and continues the chase.

[tesco samoa]

Trajan Did you ask your boss if he would have a picture of A.H. behind his desk... If it was in 150 years from now....

[Trajan]

The EVP left the painting in the office after we had all left Last night. Today he is in Atlanta scrounging up some more investor cash, so nobody has been able to ask him about it....yet.

[Timstone]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
He produces a pot of paint and hurriedly paints an open window onto the wall. He hops through the window to freedom.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tjeez, haven't you heard of portable black holes (Who framed Roger Rabbit?)?! Those things are great! Your enemies never know where you went when you use one of these babies.

[dogscoff]

Grunmbling, Dogscoff re-inflates himself with a foot pump and addresses 'Tigga.

D: "Why are you chasing me anyway, I forgot?"
GT: "You lost the cantina. Someone sawed a hole in the floor and the whole cantina vanished, remember?"
D: "Yeah, but I'm not at fault. It's whoever was holding the saw you should be chasing. Hold on, what's that on your fur... is that... sawdust?"

The entire huntung party turns on 'Tigga, who looks rather sheepish and then starts running. Dogscoff grabs a hunting hat, jumps up onto an elephant and leads the charge.
D: "We're going on a Tigga hunt! HAALLLLOOOOOOO!!!"

[Ragnarok]

Rags opens the Cantina doors and steps in, only to fall 20 + feet to the bottom of the pit. A loud thump is heard and Boards and debris continue to fall on him. He sticks his arm out and says; "I'm ok!" He finally gets himself out of the mess and orders a brewski and sits back to watch the cartoon violence that's going on this morning. "Wow, someone finally caught Tigga doing bad things... Tisk Tisk Tigga, you should know better then that!"

[dogscoff]

Timstone: Wow, like the avatar=-)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[Timstone]

Wow, thanks Dogscoff! I made it myself.
There will come a better Version of it, but that will have to wait untill I can find the time for it to produce.

[Growltigga]

Growltigga, mortally offended at the loose allegiances of the hunting party, pulls out his "I dont think this is Kansas Toto" equaliser and pushes the big red button marked "Dont push"

As Dogscoff, mounted on his elephant and the rest of the hunting party charge towards him, Dogscoff fails to notice the growing shadow around him, with a crunch, a "better than new" cantina lands right on top of his head... the rest of the hunting party scatter in terror as Growltigga walks up to the door of the cantina and opens it, erutping through the floorBoards of the dancefloor is a rather flattened Dogscoff.

Growltigga takes a fork and stabs Dogscoff all over to prevent reinflation by use of pump.. Growltigga further puts a sign round Dogscoff's next saying "punchball - 50 minerals a bash"

the queue is already forming

[Raging Deadstar]

Hmmm maybe i should get back at dogscoff for the whole 80's thing, nah he'll come after me.

Anyway, i like my boxers baggy lol, spandex would be so annoying lol http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hmm thank you mac, my reputation is impecable, or however you spell it, anyway i'm sure you wouldn't mind seeing say liz hurly in spandex (or even better pvc)
*Mac is positively drooling at this thought*

Sits down, smiles at ragnarok who is still walking funny after the whole spandex incident!

Rags, i was getting kissed by FBW's and they were coming back round for lunch, doesn't GT have laws against that, as long as it's all legal and i don't get hunted by gt i'm ok with that!!!

[ October 02, 2002, 18:38: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

Not spandex, not PVC, but LATEX!!!!!
That's the stuff where you put a woman in if you like her figure and want to drewl at her every time she walks.

Oh baby, I hate to see you leaving, but I love to see you walking! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Hey timstone, that avatars from that anime gundam wing isn't it?? Trying to pull a fast one over us all ey???

[Trajan]

It looks like an animated jump gate sequence from B5...IMHO

Cheers!
Trajan

[Growltigga]

who the hell cares about animated jump sequences from B5 for Nicholas Parson's sake, let's tak about wet-look PVC and salmon pink rubber catsuits with hoods

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
who the hell cares about animated jump sequences from B5 for Nicholas Parson's sake, let's tak about wet-look PVC and salmon pink rubber catsuits with hoods<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tigga, get your head out of the gutter already. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Puke]

out of the gutter, what a horrid idea. (puke jumps headlong into same, in order to keep GTs head company).

[Gryphin]

GrowlTigga you forgot to mention the Gryphin Position, (or does that go without saying)?

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, believe me, I am desparately trying to forget ever hearing about the Gryphin Position.. I tried it and couldn't sit down for a week and thinking about it, I havn't seen the cat around for ages....

Puke, welcome to the gutter. The day my head is lifted from the gutter is the day I hope to be dead and buried.. I like the gutter and I am very happy there

[Timstone]

RD: Trajan is right.

[tesco samoa]

gryphin how is the map coming ?? Were all ready to start

[Gryphin]

tesco, please check your PM

[Puke]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
Hey timstone, that avatars from that anime gundam wing isn't it?? Trying to pull a fast one over us all ey???<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Mobile Suit Gundam is one of the greatest franchises in the history of Anime, and you dirty it by mentioning that slipshod "Wing" garbage?

Puke throws a peanut at Raging Deadstar.

[Raging Deadstar]

No i don't watch it, my sisters do, i have had to sit through numerous hours of the cartoon and the avatar looked simmilar, i was waiting for stargate to start.

*Is almost blinded by pukes peanut. (that sounds so wrong)*

HEY!!

*walks up to puke and shouts peanut!, the trapdoor from above opens and puke is buried in a pile of peanuts.*

Couldn't help but bring up the whole trapdoor and fruit thing

*joins gt and the pile of peanuts that is puke and puts his head in the gutter*
Room for another sick mind? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif At this rate we might need another gutter, anyway, nothing really beats thinking about fbw's/hot women in latex and stuff

[ October 03, 2002, 19:03: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Puke]

ah, your Kung-Fu is strong, ye who realizes that nuts are fruit.

Puke wrestles himself out of the pile of shelled, honey roasted nuts (packing a handfull in his gullet while they're available) and walks over to RD. "FRUIT," shouts Puke, and quickly steps out of the way.

A cascade of middleaged overweight homosexual men, scantily clad in leather, tumble down upon Raging Deadstar. Barry rushes in with a large push broom, and ushers the entire pile out of the Cantina.

[Raging Deadstar]

Ahhh, the force is strong with this one.

*Pack of gay homosexuals who are chasing RD finally surround him*

RD must think quick. he whispers something to the mob, something about puke and being bigger, all the men turn round drooling and chase after puke.

RD sits down, still sore from the whole spandex incident, still confused why he had spandex on http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

"It's the Last time I'm using the universal laundrette!"

[Timstone]

You Village People!!