Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Puke]

The Cats out of town, penalize away.

Bring down the roof, unleash the loo-worshipers, drink the Last of the booze, and start the bonfires. the place is toast.

lets take this show on the road

[TerranC]

Maybe we should keep posting 'till GT comes back from the desert...

[Ragnarok]

I think GT is going to be awfully mad at Puke for taking 2000. I would watch out if I were you Puke. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

This is post 2002. The same year it is. Wow. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Well for another 6 1/2 hours at least.

[Arkcon]

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
I think GT is going to be awfully mad at Puke for taking 2000. I would watch out if I were you Puke. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

This is post 2002. The same year it is. Wow. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Well for another 6 1/2 hours at least.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, not to worry. GT can still arrive and get post #2003 the same as next yea...

Why is everyone looking at me like that? Oh crap.

I did not say this ... I was not here

[ December 31, 2002, 23:30: Message edited by: Arkcon ]

[Gryphin]

If he wants post 2k he can delete post. That will bring the number down. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Kamog]

Originally posted by TerranC:
Maybe we should keep posting 'till GT comes back from the desert...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sounds good. Maybe we can really shut down the place when we get to post #2500 ?

Besides, there's all sorts of unanswered questions that are remaining: What are the "Gryphin Position" and "Circle the Wagons"? And who are "loo worshippers?"

[Timstone]

So we march on to the 2500 Posts of till the Fury Feline gets back.

[David E. Gervais]

..then again maybe it's just not it's time to die!

I for one don't want to be accused of murder. Especially not the murder of such a fine thread.

"Live and let Live!", "Live long and prosper!", Let's "leave well enough alone!"

Some say reset the 'post due date' to 2500 Posts, I say why not 10,000? (After all think of all the promotions that will be had by then!)

We'll all be Generals and everyone will wonder how we got there! lol Let's keep the secret alive!

Just MHO, Cheers!

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Timstone:
I join you David in the quest to preserve this Cantina! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not 'Preserve', rather we should endeavor to keep it marinated in a nice thick verbal sauce. Seasoned with some nice spicy verbs and nouns, stir it gently with a few well, placed pauses and punctuations!

Ok, maybe a little thick, but I always liked my gravey thick! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!

[TerranC]

Originally posted by David Gervais:
"Live and let Live!"<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's live and let die.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Slowly parks his dented battle cruiser into the parking lot, yet again hitting one of the parking meters. Before Raging Deadstar can get out the ship is mabushed by the loo worshipping pygmies run over and cover the ship in toilet paper before escaping to vandalise more property.

Wanders inside to see the New years celebrations still under swing, with ragnarok hanging from the rafters by his belt for some reason, Timstone has currently nipped off upstairs with his polish girlfriend for a few minutes, looks like we won't be seeing him for a while...

Puke meanwhile is trying hard to drown the fact he stole post number 2000, drowning it with a lot of brewskis on timsones tab. The other patrons are all sitting back cheering our very own Barry, the singing parking valet t-rex in full concert*

Happy New Year guys

Kamog: The loo worshipping pygmies were something i came up with *takes full credit* A lot of the patrons were worried about setting foot in the inner sanctum to relieve themselves, so forth leaving a mess outside in the parking lot. Then the sewer god appeared, then our very own puke banished this fiend. Well i think it was puke, if not please tellme and you can have access to my tab. I'm not doing much research on this part of the post!

[DarkHorse]

Originally posted by David Gervais:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Timstone:
I join you David in the quest to preserve this Cantina! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not 'Preserve', rather we should endeavor to keep it marinated in a nice thick verbal sauce. Seasoned with some nice spicy verbs and nouns, stir it gently with a few well, placed pauses and punctuations!

Ok, maybe a little thick, but I always liked my gravey thick! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Mmmmm, verbal sauce... "That'sa spicy meataball!"

[Timstone]

Not a bad idea David! This Version of The Cantina is the first I've seen and it's a bloody shame to wreck this Cantina. Why not carry on with it and be happy with all the strange things that happened here. I remember the first time I got here. The Loo-Worshippers were just discovered and were wreaking havoc upon every man that set foot in their holy shrine. It was such a happy time, the time that GT ruled The Cantina with an iron fist. Yes, those were the days!
I join you David in the quest to preserve this Cantina! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by TerranC:
That's live and let die.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">.. I have no 'Bonds' to movie titles, and I prefer my words stirred not shaken! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Yowzer!

[Puke]

As the Loo-worshiping pygmies rampage through the parking lot, Puke produces an oversized acetylene torch, and ignites his remaining shots in a spaztic moment of drunken revelry. His phalanx of GHB-miniturized FBW-clones fly into a panic at the suden inferno that has be lit behind them, and dash across the Cantina floor.

The mad dash of movement sends a twitch of panic through all in the room, which unfortuneatly includes the already trigger-happy llamas. The Cantina falls into slow motion, as contrails from the llamas missiles streak hither and yon. Patrons scamper about shreiking, some smothered by exploded Custard Munitions, others with limbs partially gnawwed off by rampaging Pygmies.

Puke slams a flaming shot of Grey Goose down his gullet. Security FBWs cut down rowdy llamas with their concealable Anti-Proton-BLasters. Bystandards choke to death on custard, as missiles continue to streak accross the room. In one dark corner, unmolested by the chaos, a perticularly fateful game of chess is being played.

[Raging Deadstar]

At which point an explosion makes the cantina shudder to its foundations, a deluge of custard smothers those unlucky enough to come into it's path.

Raging Deadstar wipes his face clean for the umpteenth time and looks down at the game of chess with mac, whom is sitting back slowly sipping a brewski smiling one of his old smile, the smile that says "I Have you beaten 5 different ways, now move already!"

Raging Deadstar moves his rook forward, takes mac's bishop, and falls into despair as Mac then says the words checkmate. He stands up and valiantly congratulates Mac on his stunning victory, buys mac a brewski then does what any self respecting cantina resident is doing at this point.

He turns, picks up his 1 month old baguette, spies the pygmy dancing around a fallen ragnarok, swings back, FORE! And proceeds to watch as the pygmy is sent flying across the room by a fearsome golf swing. Feeling better after his defeat Raging Deadstar dives over the bar, ducks as a rocket of custard explodes above his head. He pulls out a tape recording device, whispers a word and throws the tape player across the room to where a group of trigger happy llamas are firing there munitions. One curious llama piskc it up, presses play, hears the word onion shouted out on full volume and the group are covered by the falling rampage of onions!

Touche!

[Jmenschenfresser]

As the Loo-worshiping pygmies rampage through the parking lot <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What?? I haven't been in here since post 900s or there bouts, and those damned pygmies are still rampaging?? My god...

Mensch, on the verge of uttering curses upon the lot of the Cantina's remnants, suddenly closes his mouth, turns, and starts to walk away. He kicks a beer can, which unbeknownst to him contained an entire civilization of 200 trillion sentient intelligent beings. They all die. The god of which, enraged that the Last 200 billion years of prodding evolution have gone to waste (an old beer can apparently), burns himself out of existence by zapping the fourth hair down from the knuckle on Mensch's left hand pinky. A puff of smoke and that familiar smell of trying to light an already used match on the kitchen stove.

He climbs in his craft and sets off scowling all the way and looking for something new under the bright glow of the galactic center.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Jmenschenfresser:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> As the Loo-worshiping pygmies rampage through the parking lot <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What?? I haven't been in here since post 900s or there bouts, and those damned pygmies are still rampaging?? My god...

Mensch, on the verge of uttering curses upon the lot of the Cantina's remnants, suddenly closes his mouth, turns, and starts to walk away. He kicks a beer can, which unbeknownst to him contained an entire civilization of 200 trillion sentient intelligent beings. They all die. The god of which, enraged that the Last 200 billion years of prodding evolution have gone to waste (an old beer can apparently), burns himself out of existence by zapping the fourth hair down from the knuckle on Mensch's left hand pinky. A puff of smoke and that familiar smell of trying to light an already used match on the kitchen stove.

He climbs in his craft and sets off scowling all the way and looking for something new under the bright glow of the galactic center.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Heh, Jmenschenfresser we did get rid of the pygmies for a while, but the recent invasion of health inspectors insulting thier way of living and a few weak bladdered llamas have left them slightly miffed!

[mac5732]

Mac thanks RD for a good game of chess and watches his golf swing admiring the dexterity of the drive, aaaa, nice shot, Mac orders another brewski on Rags tab, looks around and mumbles to himself, "its a shame the "device" has been engaged and nothing can stop the countdown, the only problem is, no one knows the exact time or post that the "device" shall pour forth its unknown containments" so everyone, throw a loo worshiper, pound the llamas, drink a toast or two, becareful of the "O" word, and remember, this

THE "DEVICE" IS COUNTING DOWN http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas Mac

[TerranC]

Originally posted by mac5732:
THE "DEVICE" IS COUNTING DOWN http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What's the device?

*Sees mac pointing to a thermonuclear device covered with onions and llama dung*

Zounds.

[ January 03, 2003, 03:14: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[Kamog]

Oh, that's THE DEVICE. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif It's making me feel very nervous and uneasy. I think I'll go to the opposite end of the cantina and try not to think about it...

[Timstone]

No, you knuckleheads http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif , THE DEVICE is something we can't see. Read the foregoing Posts. We saw Mac going in a hidden room. Hmm... I'm curious who dropped the thermonuclear device out of his/her pocket. I go to work and see if I can stop the countdown on the thermonuclear bomb. Could be fun...

[Puke]

GoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooNNnnGGggg

(puke quickly hides a large mallet behind his back)

what nuclear device? I thought it was a stylish bell.

The device that I'm worried about, is the one the donkey was talking about. And while your aged baguette may be mighty, my stale foccica has range: THUNK! take that!

[ January 03, 2003, 09:11: Message edited by: Puke ]

[Timstone]

Who are you wacking?!

[David E. Gervais]

Don't look now, but that IS a pygmie in your pocket! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Would anyone like a piece of my coconut cream-banana custard pie with whipped cream on top?... FOOD FIGHT! ..I sit at a private booth and activate the force-field for my own security!

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Timstone]

You cowart! You start a food fight and now you retreat?! Pff... Come out and fight like a man!

Damn pies, they make it near impossible to disarm the bomb. Ow! More food on my hands. Come on guys! Give me a break, the bomb needs to be turned off!

*In a flash of good thinking, Timstone activates his Timetraveling Gearbox, jumps on it and escapes to another timeframe, the time that the bomb was only just set by Puke.*

*Timstone disarms the bomb without even brewaking sweat and returns to his original timeframe.*
"Timetraveling is sooo cool!" he shouts and receives a nasty custard pie right in the kisser. Timstone grabs some food nearby and joins the cantinawide foodfight.

[Ragnarok]

Ragnarok grabs his Twin Pie Launchers (TPL) and loads them full with pies. He then starts running around the room like he was Lara Croft from Tomb Raider firing pies like there is no tomorrow. He hits Timstone in the ear as Timstone was just getting ready to throw a pie at David.
Ragnarok then hears a noise that sounds like a high speed football flying towards his direction. He turns around and theres 4 pies flying at him. He bends backwards in a Matrix style move and avoids them all. He then springs back up and spots RD who was the one throwing the pies. Rags reloads his TPLs and just starts going hog wild on RD with the pies. RD is forced against the wall and Rags just continues to pummle him with pies in the face and anywhere else it may hurt. ( http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )
With smoke rolling of Rags TPLs he pulls them up and blows the smoke off. He then spins his TPLs on his fingers and holsters them like an old western gun fighter.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar slowly gets up and wipes the pie off his clothes slowly. Ragnarok has the biggest grin on his face and slowly turns round and his smile falls as he sees his adversary. Raging Deadstar continues to talk in fake japanese ninja accent*

"You have insulted my 'honour'.....now you must pay...yes....hoo hah"

*He then proceeds to pull out his baguette and cracks ragnarok right between the legs. as ragnarok limps around with tears in his eyes RD grabs a blender, picks up a custard pie, some O-word and some llama dung and creates a very pale looking smoothy, grabs the hosepipe kept behind the bar and attacks the limping ragnarok with a classic culinary cocktail of chaos (alliteration or what! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ). Ragnarok is swept away by the delluge. Raging Deadstar laughs, turns round and gets a custard pie by timstone right in the face, SPLAT!*

*Upon this travesty Raging Deadstar threatens to send his latex clad polish girlfriend to the time of the black death, Timstone being a demon and all sells RD his soul to save his night of romantic passion, RD Accepts and takes it to his ship, puts it ina jam jar and places it next to his collection of nuclear pocket lit, a 200 year old jar of mayonaise now home to a sentient species and his jar of assorted shrunken demons and calls it a day*

[mottlee]

"Hick".......Round on me!......."Hick"

(Oooh I don't feel so well http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif )

[Puke]

The Activation of the Temporal Gearbox cause fluctuations in the fabric of reality, causing a breakdown in the data files used for the mod that was keeping Puke's Nausea Styled Battlemoon in orbit over the Cantina. The light from the skylight brightens, as the internal glow from the Battlemoon gets closer.

losing internal cohesion, the Battlemoon begins to fall appart. 50 Megatons of vomit and organic weaponry (and a whole lot of contraband booze) begin to tumble at terminal velocity towards the Cantina.

Smaller fragments begin to impact first, disabling vehicles in the parking lot, slaying a few pygmies and the odd escaped llama or two, and burrying those outside in knee-deep spew. The main bulk of Nausea one tumbles slowly (for dramatic effect) towards the Cantina-proper.

Patrons appropriately scurry about. The rocket-propelled foodfight continues, as Puke flings flaming shotglasses of Grey-Goose at any who attempt to pie him. RD's baguette is coated in burning alcohol, and would-be combatants cower in fear from his newfound burning sword.

[Raging Deadstar]

I like the idea puke, i really like that idea

*starts chasing pygmies with his flaming baguette (that can sound so bad in the minds of those who worry that their genitals can cactch aflame)*

[Ragnarok]

Rags is still laying on the floor in pain after the royal butt whooping he recieved from RD. Rags finally gets up and goes to a near booth to finish recovering. He has a couple drinks and he finally gets up once more and dodges flying pies as he makes hi way over to RD. He taps on RDs shoulder and RD turns around, he then says: "Hey RD, Truths?" RD thinks for a moment then accepts. RD proceeds to extend his arm out to shake Rags hand to seal the deal. Rags then pulls his arm back and raises one leg and his arms extend out into a Ninja position. He forms his fingers into a position that looks like claws. Rags then yells out with the highest voiced pitch he can muster: "TIGER CLAW!"
RD looks at Rags arms with bewilderment and is confused about the whole situation. Rags then kicks RD swifty where it counts and he then proceeds to do the can-can dance and continues to pummel RD in the southern region. Rags finally stops kicking RD and he calls Timstone over. Rags wispers something in Timstones ear and Timstones begins to laugh uncontrolably like a evil madman. Timstone then takes his gearbox and sends RD back in time to the point where Rags used his TPLs on RD. Timstone then just sets his gearbox on auto repeat so that RD is stuck in that time loop for a few hours.

[mlmbd]

I hear ticking. tick........tick......tick

Well, maybe I was hearing things!

mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[David E. Gervais]

omg, I just found out a terrible secret,.. the Pygmies are actually Gremlins! well at least I think they are, I saw one eat one of the pies and then it transmuted right before my eyes... Now it's got gas and every time it passes wind a depleted uranium cell is ejected. Quick everyone get to the life pods, unless you know how to deal with Gremlins! 'Phaaaap!' look out there goes another one. omg the gremlin is heading to the engine room! Aaaaaaaaaaah run for your lives.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

As the members are enjoying their food fight, and Puke's Battlemoon is disintergrating, a voice reverberates from everywhere in the cantina

HAHAHAHH, I AM THE DEVICE, TICK,TICK,TICK, NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL STOP THE SWITCH, TICK TICK TICK, NOT EVEN TIMSTONES GEARBOX SHALL WORK AGAINST ME... HAHAHAHAH TICK, TICK, TICK

Mac, hearing the voice runs over to the auto pie dispenser by the dance floor, plugs in some minerals, grabs his pies, turns and yells charge and jumps into the frey swishing pies fore and after, port and starboard, and screaming something about doomsday is coming so enjoy while you cann...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

ROFLOL! That was great man. Truely great. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif I couldn't have done better myself. But I officially declair you the winner of our little skirmish. You out witted me this time. But next time it shall be a closer battle.

*After Rags fervent beating and his incounter with the FBWs he stands up and uncomfortably walks outside the Cantina still in his Spandex outfit. He strips it off and puts on normal clothes and Boards his ship. He flies off and through the exterior intercom he declairs: "Until next we meet RD, until next we meet!"

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
*Upon this travesty Raging Deadstar threatens to send his latex clad polish girlfriend to the time of the black death, Timstone being a demon and all sells RD his soul to save his night of romantic passion, RD Accepts and takes it to his ship, puts it ina jam jar and places it next to his collection of nuclear pocket lit, a 200 year old jar of mayonaise now home to a sentient species and his jar of assorted shrunken demons and calls it a day*<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What the f...?! You DARE to do that to me?! It's MY gf you know! How dare you to sell me back my gf! But you do forget one thing, demons don't have souls. They tend to steal it from other people. So, the jar you hold in your ship is very empty. You know what? I steal a soul of two for you to put in that jar.

*Timstone escorts his precious latex clad gf to his ship (skillfully avoiding the debris of Nausea One) and returns to the cantina.*
*When a poor customer comes close enough Timstone reaches out and grabs his soul and puts it in a jar he got from RD.*
*After Timstone did this a few times he gives the jar full of souls back to RD, smiles and receives a full bLast of custard pie and some other stuff. Anyway it smells horrible. Now a bit mad, Timstone leaves The Cantina for what it is and returns to his ship for a thorough shower and the night of passion.*

WEEEE.... it's weekend again!!!

Originally posted by mac5732:
HAHAHAHH, I AM THE DEVICE, TICK,TICK,TICK, NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL STOP THE SWITCH, TICK TICK TICK, NOT EVEN TIMSTONES GEARBOX SHALL WORK AGAINST ME... HAHAHAHAH TICK, TICK, TICK<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Damn! I hate that stupid device whatever it does.

I really should learn how to type without errors.

[ January 04, 2003, 18:22: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Demons don't have souls, dammit thats news to me

*Walks away happily stroking the jar full of souls, heading towards the Parking lot*

Yes ragnarok, i guess i win the skirmish, until we meet again my friend

Since the cantina is coming to it's end i suggest drinks on my tab all round http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar is very close to losing the ability to reproduce after being stuck in a time loop for 15 hours getting hit where it hurts. As the temporal gearbox loops yet again raging deadstar smiles extremely evily. For even though he has been stuck in the time loop he has remembered everytime and is looking for vengeance. Ragnarok attacks with his twin pie launchers, RD counterattacks with the hosepipe and ragnarok prepares to use his tiger claws technique

As ragnarok offers a truce raging deadstar puts his plan into action. He quickly grabs a bottle of booze off the bar and "accidently" spills it on ragnaroks clothes. Rags looks bewildered and doesn't see RD pouring the rest of the bottle on his baguette and lighting it. In seconds ragnarok is turned into a fire ball. The sprinkler system kicks in extinguishing a now very crispy ragnarok. The FBW's quickly hurry over to him, pick him up and drag him up stairs carrying a hand blender, some wax and tape, some jump start leads and some 70's clothes. After much screaming ragnarok returns in spandex pants, a romantic 70's frilly shirt and no hair on his arms, legs or his eyebrows! Also the smell of burning hair can be smelt from rags nether regions after the Fluffy Bunny waitresses tried to jumpstart his love life, literally*

Lol, tou'che ragnarok

[ January 04, 2003, 12:21: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Kamog]

Cartoon Physics Laws which also apply inside the Cantina

1. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
2. Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
3. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
4. As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once (especially in a fight, or if the object is spinning.)
5. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.
6. Everything falls faster than an anvil.
7. A sharp object will always propel a character upward.
8. Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries; they just merely turn people temporarily black and smokey.

[mlmbd]

Just Observing! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Kamog:
4. As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once (especially in a fight, or if the object is spinning.)<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You would be traveling at the speed of time, that's my and RD's department. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar lands squarely on his posterior and gets up, happily holding a camera with photographic evidence of Timstones prowess in bed*

I'm not gonna look at it, but if anyones willing to buy if for comedic purposes i'm open for offers

*waves film around in the air to catch attention* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Typical, I am away for a mere 2 months and the cantina goes and gets all smutty and filthy!

I am not sure that I really want to know how inadequate Timstone or Raging Deadstar or anyone else is in bed, after all, one of the cantina patrons is the Boston Sex Fiend, El Gryppho of the turbo charged happy sacks and we know that no one and I mean no one can compete with him!!!

Hello everybody, I am back from my sojourn in the desert but unfortunately cannot log on as Growltigga as (a) I do not know my old password and (b) have changed email addresses.. DOHHH

Can someone paraphrase what has been going on in the Last 2 months for me?

[geoschmo]

Welcome back Gt! If you really are Gt that is. You will of course be required to submit to a thourough DNA test to verify you identity. We will also need you to submit to a snif test by Barry. I don't think we need to tell you the penalty for failing a snif test. Suffice it to say it involves a short trip through the dino digestive tract. So if you are an imposter it's best for you to fess up now.

Geo

[tbontob]

Originally posted by Kamog:
Cartoon Physics Laws which also apply inside the Cantina

1. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
2. Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
3. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
4. As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once (especially in a fight, or if the object is spinning.)
5. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.
6. Everything falls faster than an anvil.
7. A sharp object will always propel a character upward.
8. Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries; they just merely turn people temporarily black and smokey.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's good! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

The laws of cartoons and the cantina. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Maybe now I can understand what the h... is going on in the cantina. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Wardad]

Hey, Is the REAL GT back???

Let's try some Tigga baiting and find out.

Where is Gryphin when you need him?

-------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. to the real GT, David Gervais is doing the cool new avatars.

[ January 06, 2003, 18:00: Message edited by: Wardad ]

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
*waves film around in the air to catch attention* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">aren't you supposed to develope the film before exposing it? Ah well, your loss is someone else's peace of mind!

Cheers!

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Wardad:
P.S. to the real GT, David Gervais is doing the cool new avatars.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yup, and I think I can still be persuaded to do a few more! LoL.. maybe I should bump up my thread so GT can scan it!!

Cheers!

[Raging Deadstar]

Well if your really the real GT you'll know what word comes before Mrs GT's name!

Well whats happened, all the newcomers to the cantina got interested in the gryphin position which was a disaster for the fbw's as they had tons of drunk patrons slobbering all over them *HINT* Kamog *HINT*

Then tesco, mac and gryphin invaded the place with llamas, activated "the device" which ominously ticks all the time, and no-one knows when it will detonate! Then the cantina decended into a foodfight, pukes battlemoon imploded in on the cantina, the loo worshipping pygmies returned and well kamog, ruler of the pink winged potato pixies, defined the rules for cartoon violence in the cantina.

*In the name of good taste (what good taste! in this cantina?? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif ) Raging Deadstar disposes of the camera, by putting it on board his ship to be used for future bribery*

[Timstone]

Welcome back GT!!! May you one day take the lead of this dreadfull place once more. It's such a mess right now. There are even people who make sneak films from a private bedparty, the nerve!

[Growltigga]

Yes, this is me, Ruler of the Universe, Master of Eternity, Lord of the Desert, Pasha of Camels, Doyenne of the Royal Bedchamber and the largest anthropomorphic personification of a cool bar-tending cantina owning feline of the genus felinus tigris that ever graced the galactic ether...

I is back, I is bad, I is slightly sunburned and I is even more broke, I is also at a new company so dont have my details at the work PC, Geo, could you email me my password so I can log in from there? only my home PC recognises me!!!

What comes before the name Mrs GT, why, darling, sweetheart, my little pumkiny-wumpkiny, floosam, blossom, my little snugglecat or any such endearments,

phew, she is gone, right, what comes before the Mrs GT's name is Godzilla, hound of satan, devourer of camels and slayer of all living things..

really, it is very hard to enjoy the grace and beauty of the sahara when you are constantly apologising to some poor berber that your wife has savaged his goat herd.... Stephen Spielberg doesnt seem to have this problem

Home movies of cantina members, ahem strutting their stuff is fine with me.... unless it the one of Mac at that nudist camp showing us he can touch his toes... I havn't been in the channel tunnel since I saw that one!!!

Good to be back all

[Puke]

I have never seen anyone on this forum, aside from the GT, use the phrase 'happy sacks.' Its really him.

Furthermore, cartoon violence has no rules. Especially as said violence is applied to the Cantina.

[TerranC]

Yay. Mac, set the device on 30-second delay. We won't need this one anymore.

[TerranC]

Doh! Double Post.

Might as well use this one to say Good to see you back GT.

[ January 06, 2003, 21:26: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[David E. Gervais]

Growltigga, I don't know you, but the fact that you seem so popular even after an absence of a few months is a true tribute of respect. You are no doubt a great leader and man of honor, I salute you.

I only have three kinds of drinks in my wetbar, Jack Daniels, Ameretto di Sarono and fine Wine. So if any one of these suits your fancy, the drinks are on me!

Cheers!

[Ragnarok]

*Raging Deadstar disposes of the camera, by putting it on board his ship to be used for future bribery*<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I think I found the file on Kazaa already. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Didn't take long for RD to get that on posted. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
--
On another note. Welcome back GT. It is good to see you once more. The Cantina hasn't been the same without you. I look forward to the great battles that will surely take place now that you are back.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
Yes, this is me, Ruler of the Universe, Master of Eternity, Lord of the Desert, Pasha of Camels, Doyenne of the Royal Bedchamber and the largest anthropomorphic personification of a cool bar-tending cantina owning feline of the genus felinus tigris that ever graced the galactic ether...

I is back, I is bad, I is slightly sunburned and I is even more broke, I is also at a new company so dont have my details at the work PC, Geo, could you email me my password so I can log in from there? only my home PC recognises me!!!

What comes before the name Mrs GT, why, darling, sweetheart, my little pumkiny-wumpkiny, floosam, blossom, my little snugglecat or any such endearments,

phew, she is gone, right, what comes before the Mrs GT's name is Godzilla, hound of satan, devourer of camels and slayer of all living things..

really, it is very hard to enjoy the grace and beauty of the sahara when you are constantly apologising to some poor berber that your wife has savaged his goat herd.... Stephen Spielberg doesnt seem to have this problem

Home movies of cantina members, ahem strutting their stuff is fine with me.... unless it the one of Mac at that nudist camp showing us he can touch his toes... I havn't been in the channel tunnel since I saw that one!!!

Good to be back all<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This definatly GT, David's made you an avatar by the way, check out the avatar thread!

Welcome back, things havn't been the same. Ragnaroks been getting out of line and needs a good chasing, the mongooses are getting hungry (possible soloution for rags! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )Geoschmos returned from his romp with the lucy lui ninja lookalike looking for you and a lot of us have been playing golf with the loo worshipping pixies with flaming baguettes (what i like the sport http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif )

[Raging Deadstar]

Yep, and i'm one of those that can jump through supposed tunnel entrances.

*Raging Deadstar paints a hole and dives through, only to come flying back out*

Hmm note to self, never make a tunnel etrance to someone elses bedroom, especially "preoccupied" bedrooms http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

RD GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BEDROOM!!

Damn Englishman! No respect of someone's privacy!

[mac5732]

Oh Ho there GT, You Furry Finski Feline, Good to have you back, other then the normal everyday cartoon violence and the new members inquiring into the Gryphin Position and Circle the Wagons, A device that is ticking which may defibulate the cantina to a new location and a new Cantina Name Thread (in case some unknown destructive mayhem devours the current one) and more.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hope you had a good time,

PS I didn't know Tiggas got sunburn with all that fur http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas Mac

[Taera]

A large, green bug enters the cantina and looks around, looking for a place to sit and drink and bug http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif .

(lemme try and join...)

[Ragnarok]

Rags grabs his bug swatter as a huge bug is flying around the room bugging everyone.
*SPLAT!*

That'll teach those pesky bugs to come in here again.

Rags proceeds to set up his automatic bug swatter at the entrance of the Cantain.

No more maunal labor for this Rag.

[Taera]

THe big, green bug stands still for a few minutes, trying to realize why would seeminlg intilligent creature hit him with a something small with a net on it. After a failure bug takes the netty thing off and SMACKs it on this "intilligent creature".

http://spaceempires.org/empires/taera/racestat.html

[Kamog]

Welcome back, Growltigga! It's nice to have you back. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif So, are you going to blow up the Cantina and build a new one? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Growltigger]

David Gervais, I like all those drinks except for the amaretto di sarono which I thought was a body rub to be applied to nude Italian supermodels (or am I just dreaming again?)

Good to be back guys, Mac, good to see your colostomy bag has not given out, the reason I got sunburn was I shaved my fur short.....

Re the plans for the cantina, I am not sure, I need my cohorts in organised mayhem to comment, Dogscoff and Gryphin, do we destroy this cantina and reconvene in a sussex teashop? or do we just let it run?

Answers on a signed blank cheque to Mr G Tigga Esq, The Cantina, SEIV Intel Forum...

I thank yew I thank yew

[dogscoff]

Edit: Double post.

[ January 07, 2003, 11:09: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[dogscoff]

'Tig, I say it's time to blow this joint (literally) and move on. The new naming thread is here (http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=007773), see what you think.

Be sure to take a look at my "boarding party" idea half way dowen the page http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ January 07, 2003, 11:13: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Atrocities]

You guys spend way to much time in here. You need to go home and spend time with the wife and kids. Stop drinking your lives away. There are stars systems to explore and strange alien women to have sex with. I like the Green ones.

[dogscoff]

Barkeep: Have a strange green alien woman,an unexplored star system and a round of drinks sent to my table.

[mlmbd]

Growltigga!

Your Highness; Welcome back! Even if my welcome back is a little late.

Barkeep; A round of drinks for the 'House' in celebration of GT's return. Oh, Barkeep; put all that on my tab, Thanks!

rags, Need any help with that swatter? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Atrocities]

***MISSING***

Little blue alien in funny encounter suit that goes by the name Seiticorta.

Last seen near bathroom. (God help him if he entered there)

Any information on wherabouts can be directed to the Barkeep. His bill is outstanding, and his credit limit maxed out.

[ January 07, 2003, 13:09: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
***MISSING***

Little blue alien in funny encounter suit that goes by the name Seiticorta. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I thought I just saw him/it hiding under the piano after Sam finished with it!

Cheers!

[geoschmo]

Unfortunatly GT I cannot help you reaccquire your old password. I am merely a forum moderator and have no actual connection to Shrapnel Games. I would have suggested you contact Richard, but he is no longer a Shrapnel employee.

Perhaps emailing Tim Brooks at tbrooks@shrapnelgames.com will help.

Geo

[Atrocities]

Does any one here know the name of this Mt/Valcano?

Click to See (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1041946650.JPG)

The digital does not do justice to the devistation. Its like going from a forest into a desert. Most sobering.

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
Does any one here know the name of this Mt/Valcano?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Is it per chance Mt Saint-Helen? Which erupted back on May 18, 1980.

Cheers!

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by David Gervais:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Atrocities:
Does any one here know the name of this Mt/Valcano?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Is it per chance Mt Saint-Helen? Which erupted back on May 18, 1980.

Cheers!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes, that's the one. Here's a shot from the forest service's website. A slightly different angle and different time of year, but clearly the same volcano.

http://www.fs.fed.us/gpnf/mshnvm/volcanocam/faqs/20020621-description.shtml

Geoschmo

[David E. Gervais]

Btw, my birthday is on May 18, so it was kind of easy for me! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Now ask me when Montreal was founded and what is the Popes birthday! Yup you guessed it May 18th! LoL

Cheers!

[Growltigger]

David Gervais, is that a picture of you on your avatar, if so, you look just like one of my secondary school teachers, the one that moved out to Vietnam to do VSO and then got married the daughter of one of the country's richest men and has spent the Last few years living the life of a royal nabob in south east asis the lucky wretch!!!

The amaretto trick with Italian supermodels is a sure fire bet for a guaranteed good time, imagine a young sophia loren gazing at you lovingly with those glorious hazel eyes as you rub on another shot of amaretto onto her.... well, I am going to stop there, let it justbe said that belly buttons hold less than a normal shot I can tell you....

My view on the the change of name of the cantina is to just that, The CANTINA, short, sharp, sophisticated and an accurate refelction of what in fact does go on

[Atrocities]

Is it per chance Mt Saint-Helen? Which erupted back on May 18, 1980.

Cheers!
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I took that picture and many more Last summer from the Johnston Ovservatory. If you ever get a chance to visit Washington State, take the long drive up there, it is very interesting.

Thanks David, most people did not recognize it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by growltigger:
David Gervais, is that a picture of you on your avatar?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes it is a pic of myself, although compared to the reflection I see when I look in a mirror, it does seem 'flipped' somehow! LoL

..and don't mind my 'name suggestions' my only intent is to stir up a bit of gray-matter. I'm sure you know how that goes! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar slwoly hovers into his usual ship parking post, the afterbuners kick out and the entire battlecruiser crashes to the ground, a spare wheel hub bounces at, clangs a bit and rolls around for effect. Gives barry a large tip because everyones forgotten about him (insert sympathetic awww here) and wanders inside

Timstone is the source of much ridicule after ragnarok grossed out the cantina by showing the pictures of his lovelife on a large projector. Ragnarok at the moment is being chased around by taera the giant insect and is getting attacked by a giant flyswatter*

I'll help you ragnarok *grabs ultraviolet light off the ghb and holds it in taeras view, taera starts to wander towards RD, raging deadstar proceeds to pull out two cans and sprays, covering taera in silly string*

Dam! I thought that was my oversized cans of Xi'chiung bugspray.

*walks over to rags, puts on some trainers and they both run for it*

Remember that run like hell juice you joked about when gt chased you Last time rags? got any now?

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

As Rags and RD are running for their lives from a giant green man eating bug. Rags yells out: Thanks for trying to help me RD. But it only made things worse by the looks of it!
Rags and RD are still running around the Cantina. They finally run outside dodging all sorts of different animals and cartoon people.
Rags reaches in his pocket and pulls out 2 cans of run like hell juice. (RLHJ) He tosses one to RD and they both gulp it down.
Noticing there was no effect Rags peals off the label to discover that they really drank some kind of gross liquid.
"Great... Just great... I knew I should have checked the labels closer! Someone must have swapped labels on me during a chase a while back!"
Rags again reaches into his final pocket and he pulls out 2 more cans. This time he checks to labels and sure enough the labels are indeed RLHJ. Once again Rags and RD gulp down this liquid and they dart off like it was nothing. They are soon out of reach of the giant green man eating bug and they stop to take a break.
The juice runs out of power and Rags and RD fall to the ground.
After a few moments of laying there RD and Rags hear what sounds like a bug heading their way. They turn around and see a green glob coming towards them at an incredable rate. Rags pushes a couple buttons on his uniform and they are transport to Rags Dreadnaught that was waiting in orbit.
Rags takes his command chair and he plots a heading towards to bug down on the planet.
"Prepare to die bug!" yells Rags as he enters the atmosphere. When they are in range Rags orders RD to fire the Massive mounted DUC. Only it is moddified(sp?) to shoot out cans of bug spray instead of Uranium packets.
The weapon fires and Rags pulls up hard on the ship to avoid hitting the surface. The DUC hits the bug and green gook is sprayed all over the place. Including Rags Dreadnaught.
"Great! I just had this thing washed yesterday!"
Rags puts his ship to auto pilot as he transports back down to the Cantina and orders a drink for himself and RD.
"That was close." says Rags to RD as they sip on their drinks.
Rags continues on, "But I am afraid we may not have seen the Last of that bug."

*Insert Dun-Dun-DUN music here.*

[Growltigga]

Growltigga, still finding sand in his underpants (yes, even the kevlar lined airtex comfort fit Y fronts with the reinforced gusset), conflabs with Mac, Gryphin, the FBW's, El Vomito and not forgetting our resident T-Rex valet, El Basmati Barry (he craps rice) and tries to work out why the average IQ level of the cantina has dropped so dramatically since the great Tigga followed Michael Palin's footsteps into the arid ergs and dune seas of the great Sahara....

With the "pling" of an imaginary lightbulb appearing over said esteemed intellecual's heads', Growltigga informs all that Raging Deadstar and Ragnarok are hereby official pronounced as acting like a right pair of muppets and numpty-heads, more associated with lesser known lifeforms and Manchester United supporters...

The verdict is guilty, the punishment is.....

WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT

WHAT HAS THE CANTINA BEEN MISSING? says Growltigga as he saddles up Barry, sidles over to the kitchen door, pulls it open and reveals the slightly mongoosoid hordes of the Byzantine empire....

A DAMN GOOD CHASE THAT'DS WHAT....

off goes Ragnarok, RD defiantly pursued by a rapid Growltigga a la Barry, closely followed by the FBW's, hordes of Hollywood B list actors, Benny Hill, the Senegalese football team, the Byzantine armoured hordes mounted on camels and a small berber villager called Abdul..

The good times are back, David Gervais, come on down and call the cat a bastard, feel free to join in...

[Puke]

Puke extends a pseudopod as RD scrambles by, sending him spiralling through the air and landing face first beneath a table.

Rags is unable to come to avoid the ensuing cataclysm as RD is unceramoniously tripped by Puke, and leads the whole convoy of persuers into a large dogpile under said table.

Senior El Telimundo Mucho looks annoyed at the interuption to his chess game, and wonders why so many patrons have ended up under his table.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Feeling very offended by the ruler of the cantina RD gets up and drags over ragnarok*

One moment if you will

*Pulling out some green face paint, a frilly collar and some string Raging Deadstar promptly begins to dress raganarok up as kermit the frog!*

If you will this is a muppet!! I also take grand offence of being related to anything remotely near that place that is manchester! too many kebabs and indian restraunts down there!

*Points to ragnarok*

Now as i have proven my point i profoundly apologise for my behavior, i offer to buy Gt a fine wine of any cost and now i must do something!

*Picks up his baguette, lines up his shot, ignites it with someones breski and takes swing. FORE, and the small berber villager called Abdul goes flying across the cantina. Raging Deadstar promptly calls in his kylie minogue clone which he was saving as Growltiggas birthday present and bestows her on the feisty feline*

Now, after you have proceeded to take out ragnarok, unless he comes up with an escape as genious as mine i expect you to take real good care of her! And don't give her to gryphin aka owner of the turbo charged happysacks as the maitenance on those clones is horrendous!

*Raging Deadstar mounts one of the camels of the byzantine empire and waits for growltigga to give the order to attack rags*

[David E. Gervais]

..as I sit in my regular chair listening to the fake rain washing down the window, I watch as first RD, then Rags run past.. Gt is about to pass me but I wave my fresh new bottle of JD and point to the empty chair beside me. Gt pauses and shrugs his shoulders, why not, the FBW's should be able to handle this persuit. "what's on your mind David?" ..well, about the apparent lower IQ of the patrons, I think I might know what happened... tic, tic, Tic, TIC,... sorry, my pocket watch is having delusions, it thinks that IT is the device! (sip) It seems that Geo and I are the only ones that suffered no ill effects from the 'event' that triggered the mental breakdown of the patron's intellect. and I'm afread that it's partly my fault,... you see I'm holding on to a powerful secret, something that might even unbalance you Gt. But from the get go, I Liked your style so I'm gonna let you in on the secret,... (thunk!) The sip of JD must have gone straight to my head, I slumped over onto the table and quickly passed out,..

I guess you'll have to wait a bit for the secret!

[Timstone]

I have some bugspray. Or maybe some Dieldrin or DDT?

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff reconfigures the wall-mounted GHB to emit ultra violet light, like in those bug-zapper devices. Taera feels himself strangely drawn to the glow...

[Gryphin]

:: A Tesselate BattleCrusier slides into the assigned parcking space, Notices a oversized wreck, Hm, Is he back? Na, couldn't be, Reads sign over entrance to Cantina, "Welcome Back GrowlTigga your mightyness" stops reading and wrips down every thing except "Welcome Back G", Strides into the Cantina crumpling rest of sign, glad he has a breathing mask on, Wonders when the Last time this place was cleaned up, A nod to the patrons, Can't quite hide being startled by the apperance of Growltigga leaning back in a massive thrown with people kneelign around him ;:
Morning GT, nice to see ya again. :: Decides not to put the copy of GT';s avatar with target rondels up on the dart board ::
Geuess I'll have to cancel the pic of you on the side of milk cartons.
As for this joint, I say we encase it in clear Permabilitium as a monument to all creation, (or some such).
As for the new one, there can be only one possible name, "The Cantina". You can call it anything else you want, but everyone will still refere to it as "The Cantina".

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by growltigger:
..amaretto di sarono which I thought was a body rub to be applied to nude Italian supermodels<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">hmmm, Great idea, Thank Hugh! Thank yew very much! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

..of all the Joints in all the worlds, why do I keep coming back to this one? ..I sit at my usual table by the window and listen to the fake rain spilling on the glass. Sam is on the piano again, playing music by ripping out the cords. (most people think he's just releasing a bit of rage and liked to target the piano, but after all these years, I noticed that he always rips out the cords in the same order, aaaah a sweet melody.) Most of the 'beings' that frequent this bar are like that, projecting one image on the outside while cultivating another on the inside. Which is not to say they're two-faced (although some of the 'beings' actually are!) the 'Regulars' here are a great bunch. I guess that's why I keep coming back to 'The Joint'

It's a good name, "The Joint"! it has many hidden meanings, like.. to, it, in, on, no, not, none, hi, hit, hot, hint, join, jet, jot, tone, tint, tin, thin, ten, net, one, jone, john, etc.. I wonder how many 'hidden meanings' are in "The Cantina".. hmmm,..

Cheers!

[ January 07, 2003, 13:13: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

Growltigga watches in mild disgust as David Gervais, providing ample evidence of the inability of colonials (excluding antipodeans) to hold their drink, slumps to the table...

Growltigga provides a full pardon for Raging Deadstar, and Queries his views of Manchester given the number of ethnic restaurants in Carlisle...

The Byzantine horde comes charging back towards Growltigga, carrying a struggling Rags dressed as a giant frog....

Hmmm thinks the great cat, David Gervais has never experienced the thrill of being one of the hunted so the prone Canadian is tied onto Rag's back, who is then given a 20 second head start....

Barry gets to lead the chase, as Growltigga is retiring to his office to ahem, experiment with the stress and tolerance levels of the Kylie Minogue clone.....

[David E. Gervais]

..the bumpy ride quickly brings Me to my senses, as Rags turns a corner and moves out of sight I flex and the restraining bonds fly off. Man, Gt needs to find out that ductape is much stronger than rope! I grab Rags by the arm and pull him aside next to the 40 foot sheer metal wall. "Hold on to my shoulders Rags, we're going up!" "what? that's impossible!" Rags exclaims. But sure enough I manage to carry him all the way up the slick metal wall with no problems. Once on top of the wall, we hunch down and watch the band of 'Chasers' rush past. Now we turn the tables on Gt, Rags you got any ideas?...

[David E. Gervais]

..I shake my head and look at the ground beneath my feet.. The 40 foot wall is intact, it was all an illusion,.. omg Gt is a telepathic demi-god, he's been toying with my mind and the minds of all the other posters and lurkers alike. No wonder he so quickly discovered my secret of being a land-lubber (although the sip of JD did help!) But thanks to my above-average mental abilities I was able to see through his ploy. Gt you're good, really good, you are proving to be a formitable challenge. (((I activate my telepathic-neuro-inhibitor..) that should at least buy me a bit of time to regroup..) I retreat into the RL underground to plan my counter-attack.)

..I can see you licking your chops Gt, saying "mmm fresh blood, just what I needed to train my new troops!" But, you might find that your 'absence' from these forums has put you right back into this same Category. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

my my my, aren't we having fun! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ January 08, 2003, 13:52: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

Rags, exhibiting a rare example of common sense for a change, sprints off into the distance, closely followed by Barry the rabid T-Rex and the thematic armies of the East Roman Empire......

David Gervais, is left standing all alone, dazed and confused, and frantically fiddling with a new electronic item, which he mistakenly beleives will stop Growtligga from reading his mind....

"Hmmm" thinks the mighty kat, "he obviously doesn't know what a ruthless despotic homocidal loony I really am, I can't read minds, I just terminate everything with extreme prejudice"......"but obviously being British, I terminate with extreme style and always politely whilst making sure I am exceptionally well dressed whilst doing so, none of this baseball cap clad scruffy oikish canadian moose-kissing fashion I can tell you....."

Growltigga, following his arabian experience, dons his harem pants, turban a la arabian nights and claps his hands together, "David Gervais, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits"...

The plucky Canadian whisky swilling booze pansy starts twitching uncontrollably and gyrating frantically, some may call it dancing, and hey, maybe David Gervais does boogie like a bifurcated millipede in an acid bath but Growltigga knows the real reason....

[David E. Gervais]

Ha!, Canadians don't have arm-pits, only under-arms! So the fleas have no choice but to turn on their master! Hahahahahaha!

**this broadcast was sent from my secure RL Underground base**

[Timstone]

Looks like it he has you GT...

[Growltigger]

Hmmmm....checking his medical anatomical international journal, Growltigga is not surprised to disover that whilst certain external, ahem, appendages of the average Canadian male are prone to extreme shrinkage, and that the normal brain of the average Canadian is markedly smaller than the average westerner, and that bladder control of Canadians is notably less capable than europeans, and that Canadian males who grow beards tend to look like they have just slurped on a large mug of hot chocolate, it is irreconciliable that Canadians do indeed have ARMPITS and as camel fleas are too daft to understand all the nuances of international dialects, they dont care about terminaology and are therefore happily infesting the dank pits under David Gervais' shoulders.... (rather them than me)...

Given the secret RL underground bunker, Growltigga fires up his SD "bunker buster" satellite...

Whilst looking suave, sophisticated and stylish of course (and naturally sipping on a glass of 74' Chateau Lafite Rothschild)

[David E. Gervais]

..**Now I'm just grinning ear to ear, all nice and secure in my very Real RL Underground Base.**

Q:Are you even going to try to find my bunker Gt? I built it just for you! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ January 08, 2003, 14:51: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[David E. Gervais]

***Attention: Anyone finding my RL Underground Bunker before Gt will be given free access to the 'Pool Room' where all the women behind the 8-Ball are wearing ultra-mini skirts!***

[ January 08, 2003, 18:38: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

Sorry David Gervais, I am not going delving into the undergorund whereabouts of any Canadian.

That is something a gentleman just does not do.

I shall leave you in your RL underground base with your fleas - may you all be very happy together....

[David E. Gervais]

***So the Great Gt surrenders, and I was so looking forward to the Hunt/Persuit!***

Ah well, I reluctantly accept your surrender, and FYI, Once the fleas get on Canadian soil, they are always much too distracted by our Canadian Beavers to cause any discomfort. I'm flea-free and happy as can be!

Cheers!

P.S. Dear fellow posters, as you each find my RL Underground please make a cross-post here to announce your find! Just don't reveal the location!

[Growltigger]

No, the great GT does not surrender, he just not understand what on earth you are talking about....

and as for the flea situation, it explains a lot about my problems following that time I got lucky with that girl from Missassagua....

Hmmmmm......

[Ragnarok]

Rags notices that the chase has finally died down and that David has found a way to avoid the great GT. (Not many people have done that) Rags proceeds to climb out of Davids bag in which he was carrying the whole time. As Rags steps out he stretches and yawns from being in the bag for so long.
"Whew, it was tight in there. But thankfully I am a frog that is very nimble and able to fold up into a rather small position. Although it isn't exactly comfortable."
Rags then shuts off his clone/hologram that is running hog wild around the property with Barry chasing him. When the hologram/clone dissapears Barry stops and attempts to scratch his head in bewilderment. But alas, he can't reach his head due to having uber short arms. Barry then turns around and returns to his duty as parking lot attendant.
Back in Davids underground lair Rags looks around the room and exclaims: "Wait, I have seen this place before... It's in that one movie..."
Before Rags can reveal which movie that lair was in and where it was located David grabbed a metal pipe and slammed Rags upside the head to shut him up. Rags then falls to the floor with little birds flying around his head.

[Growltigger]

Rags, you should know by now that holographic projectors and clone manufacturers DO NOT work in the environs of the cantina....

...and are you trying to suggest that David Gervais is Batman, Zorro or that ponce from the Shadow?

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by growltigger:
and as for the flea situation, it explains a lot about my problems following that time I got lucky with that girl from Missassagua....

Hmmmmm......<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Aaaah! A Canadian from Ontario!! Well they're a special lot, now I understand much better! Me I ham froam de QueeBek, Eh? Zo I ham a Cannuck of a Diffar-rent breed hey? On top of zat, I ham a Hinglish spee-king dude Eh? Zo I ave ze rhite to re-mane silent, hany-ting can and whil be use-ed against me by de language police Eh?

..there's humor hidden in there somewhere pilgrim, now circle the wagons while I change accents again Yooooo! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

..I place Rags on a comfortable seat behind the girl shooting the 8-Ball, pour him a nice glass of fine wine and go back to planning my next move!

[ January 08, 2003, 18:29: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[David E. Gervais]

Gt, I just gave you a 5-star rating! You deserve it.

I on the other hand have removed my rating from view due to it having dropped below 5 stars. (It was that 12th vote that did me in) I wonder who I rubbed the wrong way?

Ah Well Such is life. I can be such a Goof but is that realy a bad thing?

Cheers!

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar slowly parks his dreadnought over the cantina and spins on his captains chair, especially built with terrain wheels, spinning from one side of the bridge to the other he activates his tachyon sensors and locks on to the unconcious ragnaroks DNA signal. Locks on and fires his tachyon projection cannon

Minutes later Raging Deadstar is enjoying his vienesse whirls and sipping on a large brewski off ragnaroks tab a very crispy david gervais sneaks up to him and demands what just happened*

Ahh sorry David! I was aiming to wake up rags but as you were admiring the sight of the girl shooting the 8 ball you got in the way i guess!

Since i don't dare reveal the location of your secret bunker please fetch ragnarok to me, i have a 30 stone women dressed up as mrs piggy who has been ordered to show "Kermit" a good time!

*Ragnarok wanders through the doors at this point, shakes his head wearing off the effects of the iron bar and the tachyon projection cannon he suddenly begins to shake, drinks begin to spill and the ground wobbles terrifyingly. No it isn't GT's prowess upstairs! The 30 stone mrs piggy runs, jumps and lands flat on top of ragnarok, leaving a large crater and proceeds to kiss him in such a way that a large vacumn cleaner does!*

Sorry Ragnarok, you were still dressed as kermit!

[David E. Gervais]

FYI: there are no 'iron bars' in my RL Underground Bunker, everything here is made of Nerf! (including the 8-Balls, but not the women or drinks!)

..now that that's cleared, Wow RD, that was some ride, how many power settings does that contraption have? and at what level was it when you zapped me by accident? I could use one for the Reck-Room!!

Cheers!

P.S. Rags is awake, he's just catching his breath!

[ January 08, 2003, 19:44: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[David E. Gervais]

***Visitors to the RL Underground Bunker should read the 'NOTE:' and follow it's instructions. I need to know who has 'Really' found my Bunker as opposed to people who might just say they have been there!*** (just for the record, I'm sure you understand!)

Cheers!

[Ragnarok]

I haven't found the bunker. I just got in it by hitching a ride. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

GT, my clone/hologram was a special modified one. It was RD dressed up as me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

RD, how could you do this to me? I thought we were pals?! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif
Rags is still being smothered by the Miss Piggy Fiends*, He fights his way out of the bottom of the pile which was no easy task as each Miss Piggy Fiend weighs just as much as a Light Cruiser. He then gets out of the Kermit outfit and tosses it to the side. At which time the Miss Piggy Fiends think that Rags killed them and Rags is forced to start running once more. After awhile of running around the parking lot Rags gets some advice from his friends who happen to be real life pig farmers, and he finds out how to stop a horde of Pigs that are chasing him. So Rags uses a device that multiplies his arms to where he now has a arm for every Miss Piggy Fiend, he proceeds to grab each one of the Fiends by the tongue. (Yes that is one way to control a pig in real life, at least it works at my friends farm)
He drags the Fiends over to a room and points at RD, he then wispers something in their ears and they get really mad and they take flight after RD who was sipping on a brewski.

GT, what happened to chasing RD anyways? You started out chasing us but somehow he got out of the spot light and wasn't being chased. I do not think that was very fair. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

*)FFX

[Raging Deadstar]

It was a terribly tricky conundrum my dear ragnarok. I appealed to Growltigga's weaknesses. He obviously went off and bought himself a bottle of 74' Chateau Lafite Rothschild on my tab and i gave him a kylie minogue clone which he is currently "Test driving" right now! although i have a bucnh of midgets who are hellbent on seeking revenge on me for my flaming bagueette golfing techniques! and no that ain't another of gryphins strangely named sexual positions http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

..Some 'Bunker' clues I've dropped in this thread..

1)"I built this just for you!" (Now how or what does one 'build' in a forum?)
2)"please make a cross-post to announce your find!" What does Corss-Post mean? Cross post from What to Where?

..a new clue.. "I'm famous for more than just my Avatars here at shrapnel!"

Seek and ye shall find! The bunker awaits! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

David: It's all in your head. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

David, I will eventually figure it out. I think I got an idea but I must do some research and get back to you on it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

RD, you had a very good idea. I should remember to carry along those extra Kylie lookalikes, I never thought they would come in handy. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Rags, buy yourself a drink. Oh wait thats me. Sorry. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

Woohoo! I was right. I figured out the riddle! It is a very nice bunker indeed David! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Get a drink on my tab for thinking that up David. You deserve it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Rags, I'm glad you liked the decor! I'm especially proud of the 'themed' rooms, The 'Tarzan Room', The 'Cleopatra Room', the 'Julius Cesar' Room, The 'Alexander the Great' Room, Oh, and did you get the joke about the 'Edith & Archie' room? LoL The Bunker was the right place to put that one!

Oh, And you're forgiven for putting on a display in the lobby, it was a good show mind you, but I have a special place for that 'Stuff' (nudge nudge wink wink, know what I mean?)
Puke started putting on a show of his own called "The Boarding Party" but I showed him the right 'Stuff' too! Hopefully there was no harm done to the lobby!

Cheers!

[ January 08, 2003, 22:51: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[David E. Gervais]

Ruatha just found my Bunker and his pet Dragon relieved itself right smack in the middle of the Lobby!! Aaaaaargh! I had to change the carpeting! Ruatha, I'm sending you the bill. ($89,265 Credits!) You're lucky that the pooper-scooper laws don't apply to Dragons. But I guess you knew that and timed your entrance to coincide with your Dragon's needs! Eh?

It was funny once, but don't let it happen again! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Growltigger]

David Gervais and Rags forget that whilst the bulk of the pursuing horde is made up of diminutive killer mongooses dressed up like the armoured hordes of the Byzantine empire and scantily clad supermodel-esque waitresses in bunny suits, it does happen to be led by 15 tons of enraged Tyrannosaur who hasn't had as much fun since Gryphin got his lovepump caught in the mangle......

Barry turns toward the unclimable 40 foot steel wall and proceeds to charge, with a crash and a smash (spot the Tolkien-esque writing style) the wall is splintered into smithereens, the smoke clears and a stunned Rags (aka kermit) and the bearded Canadian whisky-wuss are left lying on the ground, surrounded by said 15 ton tyrannosaurus, byzantine dromedary-mounted horde, FBW's, hollywood B-list celebrities.....

The small berber villager called Abdul has got a gang of his mates together and in a scene reminiscient of the beaches of Valencia in El Cid, is marching up the road looking to give Raging Deadstar a good kicking for the baguette bashing affair.........

Note to RD - Growltigga is more than happy with the Kylie clone by way of compensation for bashing the berber (is that like spanking the monkey??) but unfortunately, Growltigga is not available to stop Abdul and his chums from seeking appropriate retribution.... and you dont want to know what they are going to do with those preserved lemons and those cracked olives.. and as for the harissa.. RD, if I were you, I would put some toilet paper in the fridge

Over to you Dave

[ January 08, 2003, 12:21: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[David E. Gervais]

Yeah! The PBW Server is back up and so is my 'Avatar Emporium' Click on the link in my sig and enjoy the view!

Cheers!

[Kamog]

The Bunker really exists; I was just there. It's really nice; it's a good place to hide when it gets too dangerous here in the Cantina...

[Growltigger]

With a whoop and a hollah, Growltigga, fresh from his aneurobic exercise with the Kylie clone, climbs aboard Barry, summons the Byzantine legions, FBW's, cast from Friends, cast from Home & Away, assorted berber villagers and almoravid horde and cries "Tally Ho, cry havoc and let slip the cats of war"

David Gervais trembles in his RL Bunker, as Growltigga and the horde, having discovered the location, bash down the floor, urinate in the lobby and proceed to chase the bearded Qubecois through the various rooms...

No where is safe from the wrath of Growltigga the Great....

If you dont beleive I have found the RL Bunker (and how nice it is by the way), do you want to give you the link?

[David E. Gervais]

I do indeed feel the earth moving, but I happen to be in bed with a curvacious pool player and thought it was due to my prowess! Or it could also be that she put another quarter in the vibrating machine attached to the bed! I'm blissfully uncaring at the moment! Of course I know you know what I mean and have no douptedly been there done that (in full proper English fashion) and purchashed the t-shirt. But as you should also know..

The proof is in the posting my dear fellow, the proof is in the posting! 'Links' generally send me off-world on wild goose chases... and chasing a Canadian Goose is something I haven't done in such a long time.

If you do know the whereabouts of my bunker, don't be shy, come in, I'll open a hundred year old bottle of Scotch in your honor.

Cheers!

[mlmbd]

A huge, brand new Kwantallen Worldship arrives in "The Cantina's" parking lot.
*Emitting a very loud hum* Settles into place, Just over "The Cantina". mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif *emerges from his spankn' new ship*
Looks around the parking lot, and thinks to himself that "The Cantina" seems rather busy. Being there are no less than 20 assorted ships parked there.
He walks across the parking lot and enters "The Cantina". *brushing off the dust and debris he aquired from his journey through the parking lot*

Gazzes up to see "The Cantina" deserted, leave the 'bartender'.
"What the F...."; he murmurs to himself. No FBW's, No Dancing Girls, No Llmas No GT and No patrons!

Hmmm...he ponders....
Must be 'Lord Growltigga' and crew are off having fun stomping someone or another.
*Wishes* To himself that he not missed all the fun! Ah well, they will all be back soon enough. I'm sure!
So, he asks the bartender for a glass of 'Radjaha' (a gold, very thick liquor. From 'Kwan'; his homeworld.).
Acquiring his beverage, he walks over and sits down at his favorite table. Guess I will just sit here and wait for everyone to return. He thinks to himself.

mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Timstone]

Originally posted by growltigger:
No where is safe from the wrath of Growltigga the Great....<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yo GT! I know you can speak a little Dutch, please try to translate it a bit.
"Growltigga, volgens mij ga je een beetje naast je schoenen lopen."
If you fail to translate it, I will do it for you.

Grammar sucks!

[ January 09, 2003, 13:21: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[David E. Gervais]

Growltigga, I found these photos in the universal archives under the heading "Leader of Legions".. Is this per chance You?

1042117686.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042117686.gif)
1042117699.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042117699.gif)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042117686.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1042117699.gif

I'm not sure but I think they might be twins! The thought of two of you is enough to spark fear throughout the realms. It would also explain how you often appear to be in two places at once!

Note: I would usually post this sort of thing in my avatar thread, but felt that the fellow patrons of the Cantina should be made aware of my discovery and it's implications!

Cheers!

..Hi mlmbd, if you find my bunker in time, you might just be lucky enough to catch the action!..

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Timstone:
"Growltigga, volgens mij ga je een beetje naast je schoenen lopen."
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Just a wild guess, and fragmented at that..

Growltigga, Follow me and take with some fellow creatures take shoes off!

hmmm, you're gonna get even more legions and have them take their shoes off and sneak in the back door of my bunker!

Well, fyi: my bunker doesn't have a back door!

Cheers!

P.S. So much for the dictionary approach to translation!! LOL

[Growltigger]

Timstone, I would translate that literally as "sneak up round the back passage with some small animals with no shoes on" which is what I thought was illegal in the more straight laced countries and under the more conservative religions!! (and didn't Richard Gere have a reputation for that)??

The RL Underground Hideout is breached. I have discovered it and swamped it with my armoured hordes.

David Gervais, there are not two of me, I just move so fast it sometimes looks that way...

Continentals and colonials, sheesh!!!!

[David E. Gervais]

tsk, tsk, tsk.. You found my bunker Gt, and you should be proud, but you also fell right into my trap.. and it's one of the oldest tricks in the books!

Didn't you notice the strange red glow as you and your hord burst into the Bunker? It's a nifty device 'The Overloards' installed for me. It neutralizes all weapons and reduces all oversized-beings (ie: Greater that 6'6" like T-Rex etc.) to 4'2" and weighing in at 96lbs. Don't worry, things will go back to normal when they leave the bunker. fyi: all my 'Guards' are 6'5-3/4" and weigh in at 260lbs. They use no weapons, as they are all trained experts in hand to hand combat.

I don't expect any trouble and in fact I'd like to draw your attention a few 'themed-rooms' that might interest you,.. The 'McHales Navey' room, the 'Hogan's Heroes' room, hmm.. having just come from a desert trip, you might enjoy the 'Rat Patrol' room or the 'Laurance of Arabia' room.

Feel free to roam through the bunker and oh yeah, here's that bottle of one hundred year old Scotch I promised!

Cheers! and enjoy your stay!

[ January 09, 2003, 16:54: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

Growltigga, evacuating the bunker and taking all the scotch and fine wine (oh, and the pool playing girls with him), pauses at the entrance and chucks in the legendary Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, closely followed by the famous Bunker Busting Bomb of Bratislava, followed by a quick bLast of the Nascent Naptha Thrower of Nouchknott....

"Boomski" (as Mac would say) and the world is blessed with the sight of David Gervais flying up in the air, covered in soot and smoke and glasses askew, beard singed (althoug that is a bit hard to tell really), reaching his perogee and landing with a rubbery splat back on terra firma...

Hurrah for the forces of the brave, the good and the despotic!!

[ January 09, 2003, 17:21: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[David E. Gervais]

btw Gt, I'd call that the 'infamous Bunker Busting Bomb of Bratislava' I just checked with the 'overlords insurance co.' and what do you know, 'Bombs' are not classified as 'weapons' Aaaaargh, they're classified as 'transport devices'! You know, I never read the fine print and that is what ultimately did me in. Well at least you had the good sense to save the booze and Pool Girls, spoils of war as it would be.

I guess in this round I was the coyote and you were the road runner. Maybe next time I'll be Porky pig,. ah I mean Daffy Duck,,.. no, I mean Sylvester,.. darn, why do the names of the underdogs keep poping into my head? I guess that I don't mind loosing as much as I thought, I must be having too much fun playing the game to care if I win or loose! Yeah yeah, that's the ticket!.. now where did I put that ACME magnifying glass? I'll not get caught by the fine print again! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Cheers!

[mottlee]

OK OK where did the Cantina go? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

[TerranC]

Just testing my new sig, and having a bud.

[Ragnarok]

Bob? Who is Bob? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

*Rags strides in and orders a brewski from the bar keep. He sits down at his regular booth and declares, "It's been a long day." At which he falls asleep.

[TerranC]

Join #se4 on gamesnet and I *might* be able to tell you.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by TerranC:
Join #se4 on gamesnet and I *might* be able to tell you.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh ok, I will have to do that later tonight as I am unable to right now due to time restrictions. I have to be going shortly so I shouldn't get in volved in a real time conversation. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Edit: I got a new avatar since I just got promoted. Ain't it purdy?* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

*) The pretty factor credit goes to David for making it for me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ January 09, 2003, 21:59: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[mlmbd]

Rags, "Wake up"! I said, "Wake up Rags"!

Tell me where everyone is?! Come on rags, wake up! I have to know!

mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Kamog]

Wake up, Rags.
The Cantina has you.
Follow the FBW.
Knock, knock, Rags.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Growltigga, perusing the recent events of the cantina, wonders where all the "old" regulars have gone to.... is there a rival T-shop on some other forum which is now being frequented by those unable to hold their own in the booze-swilling and cartoon-violence stakes? I know that north americans are generally lager wendys but surely they can keep up the pace in the cantina??

Where is Dogscoff? where is Saxon? where is Mephisto? where is Gryphin? where is Mac? where is Tesco Samoa?

On a RL note, what a bummer this morning has been... took my new car (an Audi) down the country lanes towards where I get the tram for Manchester, doing about 30mph down a straight road when I hit a patch of black ice, lose the front end, get control of that back, then lose the back end, do a 450 degree spin and end up looking at the underside of a hedge..... bruised, battered and a little shaken. Manage to get the car out of the ditch and drive to my mechanics (luckily only a mile away).... my mechanic is a diva when it comes to repairing dented body parts (he should be after the number of low impact collisions the current Mrs GT has) but he reckons £1800 (USD2700) of damage and I have only had that car 1 week......

THEN..... the mechanic gives me a lift home so I can get the other car when I get a call from the current Mrs GT saying that she has managed to bash her head and has had to go to hospital.... mother-in-law aka Godzilla takes her in so wifey now has 3 stitches in her forehead and is complaining that if it scars, it will mar her looks, my retort that you will never see the scar under her scales didn't go down well....

then I get into work and get a call from my brother saying that my mum broke her leg Last night slipping on some ice in the garden, my dad then managed to break his arm on same ice trying to pick her up.... so both my parents are now in casualty..... my brother is now also there as he managed to stick a hilti-gun nail into his leg doing some DIY at about 11.30 Last night (he is a builder with insomniac tendencies) and his wife also hit some black ice and skidded/slid down a half mile long hill before a friendly bus managed to stop her in her tracks so in 24 hours, 6 members of the GT clan have ended up in casualty OR have trashed their cars....

I think I am going to go home and spend the weekend hiding under the bed.....

[ January 10, 2003, 09:15: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[Timstone]

Hahahahahahaha LOL!!!
You've been truly blessed GT!! Excuse me for laughing, but it strikes me as very funny and clumsy. All those accidents in such a short amount of time, what are the odds?!
Well GT it looks like you're nearly untouchable in here, in the world of The Cantina, but outside you can be harmed. You've got luck on your hand comstantly here in The Cantina, but outside live threatens you every day.
Go ahead hide under your bed and expect the worst, for it probabely will happen. Good luck!

P.S. The bit of Dutch I gave you, you translated it all wrong. I must admit that I can't translate it fully to English. Here is the rough translation.
"GT, I think you're getting a bit too cocky." Don't get mad, but it really felt like it. You can do everything and anybody else just has to accept. Give others a chance too.
There, I uttered some critisism towards The Great Feline. Hmm... I wonder what my fate will be. As I said before, don't get mad.

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff cashes in his "organic manipulation" racial trait so he can afford to lend the GT clan enough racial points to buy the "lucky" racial trait. It might not protect them from black ice and nailguns, but if it stops our sun going nova then it'll be worth it.

Of course, that means no more genetically modified giant squid or shrimp ninja http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Never mind, with the leftover 500 racial points, 'scoff increases his "ground combat" and "aggressiveness" stats and proceeds to beat the living crap out of anyone standing too close.

[ January 10, 2003, 10:53: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by Timstone:
You can do everything and anybody else just has to accept. Give others a chance too.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ooh, teddy bears at dawn I feel. No, people can do to me what they will but the trick of the game is ensuring that you always have a counter to everybody else is doing..........

Certain people do the same thing, for example, Dogscoff is very skilled at resurrecting himself, Gryphin is always ethereal and Mac is completely untouchable and always reverts to brewskis and chilli, it is mainly Rags and RD who are the victims.....

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff is very skilled at resurrecting himself
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I take my punishment if I feel it has been skillfully administered, resurrection is just a way back into the game afterwards.

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
[QUOTE]
I take my punishment if I feel it has been skillfully administered<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hear hear, I fully second this... I would also be happy to take my just desserts if administered with aplomb!!

[dogscoff]

I would also be happy to take my just desserts if administered with aplomb!!
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">*dogscoff peruses the dessert menu and orders aplomb pudding. (a plum pudd... never mind).

When the fruity confection arrives, Dogscoff delves into the pudding and withdraws (perplexingly) a pair of hand grenades. Suddenly, with a single groinal swish of his antique samurai sword, he elicits a scream from Growltigga and the sound of two small, round objects hitting the floor can be heard beneath the castrato wails.

Dogscoff then pulls the pins on the grenades and administers them to the place recently occupied by GT's plums. He only just has time to duck for cover before GT's pelvis is bLasted up through his body, turning the unfortuante kat's torso insiide out and carrying it through the ceiling by the force of the explosion. Although 'Tig's torso can be seen sailing into the distance through the hole in the ceiling, his legs are left standing, gently smoking in the spot Growltigga used to stand...

Good to have you back, 'Tig. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ January 10, 2003, 14:45: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigger]

AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG GGGGGGG GGGGGG GGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGHHHHH HHHH HHHHHH HHHHH HHHHHHH HHHHHHGGG GGGGGGGG GGGGGGG GGGHHH (imagine doppler effect) AAARRRRG GGGGHHHHH HHAARRRRR GGGGH HHHHHH HHHHHHHH HH HH
< SPLAT > whimper moan whimper

muffled falsetto voice in distance can be heard saying "thank god I met that Kylie clone before this happended".......

[ January 10, 2003, 15:00: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[David E. Gervais]

Gt, here's a bit of almost useless info inspired by your sig..

4-letter words ending with 'ook' = book, cook, gook, hook, look, nook, rook, took. (8 total)

4-letter words ending with 'ash' = bash, cash, dash, gash, hash, lash, mash, rash, sash. (9 total)

4 letter words ending with 'one' = bone, cone, done, gone, hone, lone, none, pone, tone, zone. (10 total)

..I wonder if there is another set of 4-letter words (ending with the same three letters) with more than 10 different words in the set?

hmmm, challenging question.. btw: 'uck' only has 9 different words, the challenge is to find more than 10!

Cheers!

P.S. Yes I know that I find the most useless ways to kill time, but it's all for fun and fun for all!

[ January 10, 2003, 16:01: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[David E. Gervais]

Oops, actually 'uck' has 10 words, buck, duck, guck, huck, luck, muck, puck, suck, tuck, yuck. (11 if you count the missing 'censored' one!)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by growltigger:
it is mainly Rags and RD who are the victims.....<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This is very true. Somehow I always seem to set up the chase. Even if I don't mean to. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
But I am always a victim because I cannot come up with a good comeback. I am usually good for two scenes in making sure I'm not tortured, but after that it is hard for me to think of stuff for some reason.

[dogscoff]

David Gervais... wtf?

[mlmbd]

Poor GT! Poor Rags!

dogscoff, If I was you I would start running. Really, really fast. Not bothering to look back for quite awhile!

Rags; I need an update. I would ask GT, but he seems to be spread a bit thin, at the moment!

mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by mlmbd:

Rags; I need an update. I would ask GT, but he seems to be spread a bit thin, at the moment!

mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Umm, update one what exactly? My mind isn't exactly working properly this morning so you'll have to forgive me if it's something obvious.

[Growltigger]

David Gervais, you are as unhinged as the Bolivian navy on maneuvres in the South pacific, Rags, stop whining and be a man, you are obviously one of the world's natural victims...

Now can you two do the decent thing and help me find my internal organs and more importantly, my testicles

PS David Gervais, the reason my signature is "ook ook ook ook" is that I went to Sabah in Borneo in August/September Last year and went to the rehabilitation centre for orang-utangs at Sepilok. They said "ook ook ook" quite a lot and I thought it was one of the most sensible things I had heard for ages... especially after being in Japan for the World Cup and I didn't hear too much sensible then (other than yelling "Enggguuulllaaaannnddd Engggaaaluuundnnndd" at the top of my voice and scremaing "1 nil to the Enguuulllaaannnnddd" at any Argentinians who were nearby

[ January 10, 2003, 16:42: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[mlmbd]

Rags, an update about what all happened outside "The Cantina". I never listen to rumors.

GT, Your Lordship, Sir; I found your testies, heart, both lungs and your heart. That should be enough to reconstruct your fomer self!

The Bolivian Navy, do you think they would employ him?

mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Growltigger]

Mlmbd, many thanks indeed for the return of my most tender parts, have any drink free on the house...

In the name of good taste, image on screen changes briefly to a nice relaxing picture of a vase of tulips why Growltigga reconstructs himself...

Back to the cantina, mlmbd, I have no idea if the Bolivian navy would employ him but the point stands that David Gervais is obviously as stable as a balloon in a hurricane.....

Now, as the, ahem, crown jewels are back in their rightful place, and as I am armoured to the hilt and clutching my fully loaded red hot poker hand cannon, where is that wretched poo eating Dogscoff?????

Actually, I need target practice first, where is Rags when you need him?

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by growltigger:
Actually, I need target practice first, where is Rags when you need him?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am over there. *Rags points at a Rags lookalike*

While GT is walking (well attempting to walk, his southern region is still in pain I'm sure) towards the fake Rags, the real Rags sneaks out the door and steps behind a acme...shoot can't think of what they are called, those things you push down and and make things go boom...
Rags presses down on it and just as GT gets to the fake Rags it explodes. Rags is laughing his butt off in there as he saw GT blow up for the second time in less then 24 hours.
After which he realizes that GT has formed back to himself rather quickly this time. Rags gets a look of horror on his face as GT is walking towards the real him in a terminator fashion.
"GT, it was all fun and games man. Like a friendly pat on the back ya know?"
Rags is beginning to cry now as he knows he is about to recieve a major butt whooping from the great GT.
But then Rags pulls out his portable testicle regeneration device and shows it to GT.
"Look at this Tigga, it regenerates your testicles to the point like they were brand spanking new. Just push this button and presto, you'll be back to the way you were before Dogscoff blew you up."
Tigga thinks on it for a minute then he decides what the heck. So he presses on the button and sure enough. He is back to new. He thanks Rags and he walks away in search of Dogscoff to get his revenge.

[Timstone]

Originally posted by growltigger:
...a vase of tulips...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">How Dutch, nice.

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
his southern region...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That would be his nothern region for us at the other side of the equator. Really, I say you people live on the wrong side of the equator. But that's only good for two things, it keeps the rifraf seperated from the better people and ohterwise our precious Earth would turn upside down and we allw ould be living on the wrong side of the line. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mottlee]

LOL Rags....this place Kills me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

put the knife down!

[David E. Gervais]

Gt, fyi, I have a most excellent and beautiful brain. In fact it was a 'special' order from mensa. (it is the deluxe model with an IQ of 186 Cat#11010011 they called it the dotdashdashdot model, or was that the dashdotdotdash model?) My only problem, is when I got the order, the goofs at mensa forgot to include the instruction manual. Actually,..(I strain my brain to it's limit..) I think they omitted the manual for their own protection!

I'm not worried, it's not the first time I use something without reading the manual! And thanks to you good people here in the forums, I'm finding a multitude of new uses for my brain!

Thanks, and Cheers!

[Kamog]

I'll have to upgrade my brain to one of those Mensa ones. My current brain only has 2K of memory and runs at 12.288 MHz.

[ January 11, 2003, 02:40: Message edited by: Kamog ]

[Timstone]

You need some serious hardware upgrades! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Timstone:
You need some serious hardware upgrades! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hardware? I thought the brain was Software! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Cheers!

[Quikngruvn]

Originally posted by David Gervais:
Hardware? I thought the brain was Software! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Actually, most people's are firmware. Mine is vaporware....

Quikngruvn

[David E. Gervais]

Vaporware, Eh! I guess that means that your brain is not 'limited' to the physical limitations of real world science. hmmm, and that means that your brain can go where no brain has gone before! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Btw, the Last time I held my brain in my hands it felt 'soft' and mushy! That's why I chose to call brains 'Software' after all, 'mushyware' just didn't sound right!

..this is goo,.. this is your brain on goo,.. can you tell the difference?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Kamog:
I'll have to upgrade my brain to one of those Mensa ones. My current brain only has 2K of memory and runs at 12.288 MHz.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Kamog, you're a lucky one, with a brain like that you can (or have to) take the time to enjoy the little things in life! People with brains in the 'fast lane' rarely take the time to enjoy the little things. And when they do, it feels like hard work! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!

P.S. it's that extra .288 that keeps you in the game!

[ January 12, 2003, 11:04: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Timstone]

Hahaha... LOL!!!

I'm glad I was manufactured in a Steelplant in Germany by the name of Krupp. No problems with mechanical systems. All I have to do is some lubrication from time to time (hint, hint...).

[David E. Gervais]

Oooooooh Yeah! I just went on an pixel plotting frenzy and flooded my Avatar thread again with a bunch of new pics!

Drinks are on me people! (and an extra bottle of STP for Timstone!)

Cheers!

[Timstone]

Wow, thanks! What is STP actually?

[Desdinova]

STP is/was an oil made by Penzoil if i remember correctly. The commercial said STP oil treatment. Will help keep you lubricated.

[ January 12, 2003, 19:41: Message edited by: desdinova ]

[David E. Gervais]

I was gonna say Valvoleen, but thought you mught mistake that for Vaseline! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif If you like an easy to use lubricant how about WD40 it cleans and lubricates and comes in a nice spray can with a long thin nozzel to get into the hard to reach places!

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Growltigga is slightly unnerved at the sensation he is getting from his troUsers after using Rags' testicular regeneration device!! he sidles off to the office and takes a peek... oh my god, Rag's device was obviously set on maximum or something as GT's testicles are now the size of bowling balls and making it hard to walk....

what will our ferocious furry feline hero do now? where is Rags when you need him...

HEEELLLLPPPPPPPP

[Kamog]

1. Don't sit down.
2. Don't ride any bikes.
3. Don't scare away the FBW's.
4. Try taking an extra cold shower, or bathe in an icy river.
5. Go somewhere where it's snowing and stand in the cold for an hour.
6. Find Rags' device, adjust the dial to a lower setting and push the button.

[Growltigger]

"Cheers Kamog" says Growltigga, currently sitting in a large bath of imported glacier water which is being kept at sub-zero temperatures by the FBW's..... "the problem I am encountering now is that my plums appear to be growing, in fact my happy sacks are getting unfeasibly large and trying to sit down is like riding a space hopper" - the FBWs and even the Kylie clone have vetoed me going anywhere near them as any application of my lovepump is liable to cause a structural breach to the cantina... ooh aah me plums are really stinging...."

Where is that dratted Rags and his testicle enlargement device when you need them????

HELLPPPPPPPPP as the bath water proceeds to steam......

[dogscoff]

Desperate to make amends before GT is back on form, Dogscoff tries ot think of a suitable tribute. Trouble is, what do you get the Kat who has everything? He already has all the FBWs and female celebrity clones he could ask for, he has his own brewery so booze won't go down too well, I'll have to appeal to his megalomaniacal side. He already has at least one army, so I can only think of one thing to out-do that.

By means of some prudent bribery, extortion and assasination, I've managed to get you something really special 'Tig: I've manged to secure for you a guaranteed winning ticket for this week's Big Red Button Lottery Draw. (http://www.sandman43.fsnet.co.uk/fiction/WFF.htm)

Use it wisely, and enjoy.

*Knowing how 'Tigga's mind works, Dogscoff decides to stay away from any potential Big Red Button targets for a while...

[David E. Gervais]

Ahem, the idea is NOT to pop them, just release some of the pressure!.. and when done right you will hear a prolonged hisssssssing noise, not a loud pop! I sure hope you don't suffer the agony of the pop the whole pop and nothing but the pop!

Cheers!

[dogscoff]

*dogscoff really doesn't want to see this. He downs 2 bottles of ouzo and immediately passes out under a table, thus rendered blissfully unaware of the impending groinal catastrophe.

With a bit of luck I'll wake up just too late to help with the clearing up.

[Growltigger]

The cantina goes quiet, an ethereal drumroll resounds around the cantina and a variety of faces peer over hastily dislodged tables at the sight of the mighty kat holding a knitting needle in the direction of his oversized happy sacks...

The needle is applied, a vibrant hissing, as if from a very large anaconda, can be heard and the susurration of quite of lot of breaths, held in by the frightened patrons, being let out can be heard....

Oh my god, goes Growltigga, I am losing them, and with a bLast of actinic fire.. the unfeasibly stretched testicles explode, the cantina roof is rocketed up into the sky and all that can be heard is a feline voice, crying in the distance.....

OOOH MY PLUMS

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff wakes up, abruptly. He grabs hold of his head as the hangover kicks in, then immediately grabs his nose instead.

What's that smell? Kind of like cat fur, but also like unwashed underpants and fish...

[ January 13, 2003, 16:38: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
but also like unwashed underpants and fish...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am shocked Dogscoff, I will have you know that my underwear was fresh on everyday... you never know when you may get run over by a car and would die of shame if the doctors ever saw you in dirty trollies...

and as for the fish, well cats are famous for liking fish so what do you expect?

Ooh my poor aching exploded glands, my poor knackered knackers, my poor wobbely dangely ones

[Ragnarok]

Rags strolls in the Cantina and grabs his nose at the smell. He is wondering what the heck it is when Dogscoff, who obviously is hung over, tells him what happened. Or what he remember of it anyways.
Rags begins to feel really bad about not getting in here in time to get the device to him. But then Rags points out that the device was on the bar the whole time. But apparently no one saw it.
Rags apoligizes to Tigga and he buys him whatever drink he wants.
Rags gulps down his drink and stumbles out of the Cantina still feeling bad about what he caused to happen.

[Growltigger]

Rags, many thanks indeed for the free drink, the bottle of 1954 Mouton Lafayette Formidable generously priced at 18,000 minerals goes along way to redress my hurts...

but look.. what it doesn't cover is that between Dogscoff and yourself, my tender parts have been whipped off, exploded, regenerated, inflated, double inflated, triple inflated and then exploded again and are currently hanging in pieces across 3 counties...

I have a certain status as a feline casanova to maintain, and how can I do that if my peaches are non-existent and non-functioning?

what I want to know is what you and Dogscoff are going to do to remedy this situation? I am going to look bloody silly mounted on Barry leading a chase if I have no gonads aren't I? the killer mongoose just wont follow a leader who is short in the lovepump department....

[Ragnarok]

18,000 minirals?!?! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Well there goes my life for about 3 years. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Well I don't know how we can fix it. Only thing I can suggest is go back in time using Timstones gearbox and take your old gonads before they exploded 3 times (or more) and bring them back to the future (now) and have someoen sow them back on. (Perhaps that FBW over in the corner that is eyeing you and licking her lips. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
That is the only thing I can suggest for now. Maybe dogscoff has some ideas.
I will let you know if I come up with something else.

Edit: A couple spelling errors.

[ January 13, 2003, 17:41: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[David E. Gervais]

..Gt, I said to use a 'pin' not a knitting needle! Mind you I can see where you might have had trouble griping something as small as a pin, but you could have had one of your FBW's tend to you!

Ah well, a painfull lession, but one you'll surely not forget.

..and I concur, you should investigate the time-travel solution proposed by Rags. Some might say that by going back in time you're altering history, but in this case, I believe the effects will be limited to 'Your' history, so I vote you give it a try!

Cheers!

[David E. Gervais]

Gt, I think I have a temporary solution for you,.. What you have to do is get to a zero-g enviroment and a cool one at that. then you'll have to apply a patch of ductape to each of your 'royal expanders' and carefully puncture a tiny hole through the ductape and that should release much of the perverbial hot air Rag's device is generating in there. Remember, make the hole as tiny as possible, I suggest a #2 pin like the ones used by taylors when hemming a thin fragile material. Like I said this is only a temp solution and the major brawback is once the 'jewels' are down to a more managable size, you'll have to remove the ductape. I further suggest you get as drunk as possible before removing the tape. Here's a 40 ounce JD to help with that.

I must warn you about one danger,.. if you use too big a needle your 'jewels' could 'POP' like a baloon! I don't need to tell you how painfull that would be.

Cheers!

P.S. if the skin on your jewels has stretched to the point of being semi-transparent then it's too late to try this temporary solution.

[ January 13, 2003, 12:22: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

Cheers Dogscoff, I think your link is possibly incorrect or spurious...

I do love the "They do, Huck. I guess the principles of Liberty and Truth really aren't much good up against a 4000 BlatterWatt Phased Polaron Array" line, one of the finest of the Sci Fi literary genre I feel...

OK, that cheered me up but my plums are now reaching gargantuan size and are in severe danger of taking over the cantina..... HEEELLLPPPP PLEAASSSEEE, I know need two baths to cool down my incorrigable hyper-powered genitalia..... keep that ice cold pump running please......

OK, following David Gervais' advice, I am now preparing to pop my plums..... AWOOGA AWOOGA all cantina patrons take cover, all cantina patrons take cover....AWOOGA AWOOGA

[ January 13, 2003, 12:33: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by growltigger:
I feel much better too David Gervais,.. and the happy owner of a chromed pair of testicles.... <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">hmmm, stainless steel might have been a better choice, after all who's gonna notice? Your 'plums' are internal-mounted aren't they? I just had a thought, you could always place a patch of transparent-plexi skin in the front, that would have the same effect as showcasing them!..

..and now I stop typing to preserve any sanity I have left! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Cheers!

[Timstone]

You forgot the coolers, for when they are in heavy use.

[ January 14, 2003, 15:14: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[David E. Gervais]

..I walk into the Cantina to celebrate my recent promotion. I think my new ID photo turned out ok!

Cheers everybody, the drinks are on me!

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Happy promotion David Gervais, Growltigga purs all in the cantina a nice glass each of Chateau Lafite Rothschild Mousardin. RIght MR Gervais, that will be 37000 minerals...

Thanks Dogscoff, but I think these nadgers I have are going to do me proud, especially as it says tank capacity 4 litres on the side of them..... and the chrome plating on the outside of my happy sacks is really useful, especially when I am trying to pluck nasal hairs or defluff my navel...

[Timstone]

GT: Are your "happy sacks" in proportion with the other part of your love installation? I think it looks very strange if the other part is tiny in comparison with your newly aquired stainless steel chrome-plated bowlingballs.

[David E. Gervais]

Gt, 37,000 Minerals! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif just kidding, I spent more than that on kleenex during my Last cold. I'm not short on minerals, I have 3 Huge Rock planets in my home system and two adjoining 'asteroid-belt' type systems next door! I got more minerals than I care to count!

btw do you have any idea of the value of that collection of 100 year old Scotch you acquired from me when you left my bunker? It may be "Spoils of war, but there was nothing spoiled about that collection!"

Cheers!

[David E. Gervais]

..ok, who shut off the power switch that caused the forums to be down for about 9-10hrs? I was gonna upload a few more new avatars and couldn't! When I woke up this morning and shrapnel was still off-line, I began to feel the tiny pings of withdrawl symptoms (shaking hands, frequent peeks to see if the forums were back up, trouble deciding where else to go on the net while waiting..) I'm so glad the forums are back up, I feel much better now!

Cheers!

[ January 14, 2003, 12:01: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

I feel much better too David Gervais, that sly minx of an FBW who was winking at me had a reserve pair of titanium encased and heavily shielded wobblers to sew back on to me..

so now I is hanging loose and full of juice and the happy owner of a chromed pair of testicles....

ho hum, all is well that ends well....

Now, I have a fully loaded red hot poker hand cannon and all I need is a Dogscoff shaped rear end to unload a full magazine of red hot pokers in to..... huzzah

[dogscoff]

'Tigga, never fear, I have an answer to your problem.

Recently developped in a lab in Belgium, i have managed to procure the prototype of the world's first pair of fully-featured prosthetic testicles. These highly advanced, computerised robo-nads are fully controllable and adjustable, and carry their own on-board, self-contained power supply (uranium not included). They fulfil all the functions of a normal pair of Sandras, but with a much higher fuel efficiency. They have a pager and vibrate function, they pick up FM radio and play mp3s, are fully waterproof and will work in a temperature range of -110 degrees C to more than 2000 degrees C.

The only thing is, they are a little heavy (3kg with a full uranium pile) and will tend to clang loudly together when you walk, but considering all the added features built in I'd say that was a minor inconvenience.

[Timstone]

Yo GT! You need my timetraveling gearbox? I can arrange you a little trip back into time to help you get your nuts in a proper size. You know what, we'll take Rags with us, he can help us with the device he left on the bar to reduce your scrotum back to normal. After we've come back it's like nothing happened. The killer mogooses will follow you royal hiny once more. And you won't look silly when mounted on Barry's back anymore.

[Kamog]

Originally posted by David Gervais:
..ok, who shut off the power switch that caused the forums to be down for about 9-10hrs<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, I was having withdrawal symptoms too. I couldn't get on the forum all day yesterday, and I kept checking every 5-10 minutes. It's just not the same if I don't read the forum at least once a day...

Congratulations on your promotion, David! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ January 15, 2003, 05:57: Message edited by: Kamog ]

[Growltigger]

David Gervais, I am not sure what you are referring to when you accuse me of purloining your aged scotch collection... you wont find any full bottles of mature scotch in the cantina.. ok, hic, you may find some empty bottles..... all our scotch is matured for at least 7 seconds...

Timstone, you will have to ask the FBWs or the current Mrs GT about the length of my rod.. to quote Brian Blessed in Blackadder I, "only the Queen and a thousand turkish whores know that"....

I suspect the forums were down after I connected my new turbo powered gonads to the cantina's electricity supply in order to charge them up... sorry guys, I forgot we were on a 3 amp fuse

[mlmbd]

GT, just got a check. Thought you might like this; "Glenfiddich Ancient Reserve". Consider it a "Welcome home pribe, er.....I mean, ah... a "Welcome home present"! Enjoy, Your Lordship!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Growltigger]

Cheers, Glenfiddich ancient reserve will go down (and probably come up) very nicely thanks

[Desdinova]

so is the cantina going to stay open or is it still closing?
i have enjoyed reading this thread even though this is my first post.

edit. hey post # 2200 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ January 16, 2003, 18:17: Message edited by: desdinova ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by desdinova:
so is the cantina going to stay open or is it still closing?
i have enjoyed reading this thread even though this is my first post.

edit. hey post # 2200 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Even if it closes there will be another one. With a new name. And possibly even with a new concept of how it all works. (ie forum hopping)

[Desdinova]

i read that. it sounds interesting even if it may get confusing. what would you do to keep track of where the forum is at any one time? would you put a link from the old location to the new one in the Last post so people can jump to it or make people manually track it down?

[Kamog]

Let's put a link from the old location to the new one. Otherwise, it will be really hard for people to find the new one, especially if we jump to totally unrelated forums on other web sites, like forums on gardening, stocks, cooking, or whatever.

[dogscoff]

The best way to keep track of where the conversation is being held would be to keep a thread here on shrapnel with all the URLs listed. Just go to the shrapnel thread for the latest URL, then follow it to join up with the rest of the boarding party.

[Growltigger]

Hmmm, for what it is worth, I am not a fan of the forum hopping boarding party concept. I frequented another forum where we had something similar happen to us and even though it was only for a couple of days, and even though the intruders were polite etc I must admit that the rest of the Herb Society members felt a little violated...

The discussions in the cantina can be a little rowdy and raucous, I think we should keep them here where they can be coralled and self contained and suitably moderated by upstanding members of the SEIV community such as Geo and Atrocities

Just MHO

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar walks in to the cantina after a weeks abscence and orders a rather large brewski. As he begins to drink yet another night away he hears a large clang and the loud metaql bashing gets closer*

Clang Clang, Clang Clang, Clang Clang!

*Turning around he notices GT walking towards him with FBW's and clones hanging from his arms all ready to test drive his new "titanium tinted testicles". Gt clangs off into the distance and RD, looks around*

Say why's it so quiet in here, maybe macs ticker packed in when GT popped his happysacks or the resulting soundwave knocked out the regulars navigation systems.

*Wanders over to rags*

Hmm whats this, a testicle manipulation device? what happens when its turned to a lower setting?

*Ragnarok screams now his testes are the size of peanuts!* SORRY RAGS! I didn't know it would do that!

*Runs off into the distance screaming for forgiveness whilst the fbw's all laugh at ragnarok*

[Ragnarok]

Rags is still beat red with embarrassment from what RD did to him. He covers himself with his hand (I don't know how I didn't have pants on in the first place) and he runs to the restroom. He looks all over the place for his teste device to fix what happened to him. He finally finds it and low and behold the dang batteries are dead. Rags examines to room in mcgyver(sp) to find what he could use to charge up the device. He then spots the loo worshipers and he asks them for some help. They then pull out a device that looks like it holds alot of energy. Rags plugs it into his device and he returns his twig~n~berries back to their normal spot. (Well maybe a bit larger) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
And he thanks the loo worshipers and he runs out of the restroom in chase of RD.
"Get back here! I'll forgive ya once I get my revenge!"

The chase goes on for a few minutes and Rags activates a new device that made a invisible poll come up from the ground right in front of RDs path. RD is running at full speed when he whacks himself on the poll that only came up to his private region. Rags stops to catch his breath and he exclaims, "I forgive ya buddy, drinks on me."
RD is still in pain as he sits at the bar and drinks his brewski on Rags' tab.

[mlmbd]

rags, that has to be one of the shortest chases in history! I was expecting so much more, with 'New Testies'. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

RD, here is a bottles of 'Guinness Stout' for you and Rags! I really did go a bit crazy at the "Intergalactic Liquor Store".

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[David E. Gervais]

I agree with Growltigga, we should 'contain' the chaos and madness of this thread affectionately known as "The Cantina" right here in the SE:IV forum. Of course that does not mean that we should (Or could) contain the chaos/madness within the Cantina itself.

I was thinking that we could maybe do a bit of remoddling in the Cantina, like add a nice firing range and maybe a swimming pool! I'll even donate 1,000,000 minerals towards the reno's. That should get things off to a good start!

Cheers!

[Growltigger]

Growltigga, walking along and clanging to himself, wonders why the cantina is so damned quiet at the moment..

where is everybody, it appears to be me, David Gervais, Rags, RD and mlmbd and all the other regulars have gone

[Kamog]

Hi, I'm still here, but I've just been sitting quietly with my drink...

[mlmbd]

GT, still here. Just really busy. But, I will be stopping back for some suds and whatever, later in the day!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Ragnarok]

I'm not an old timer but I haven't been talking much because I'm trying to avoid being chased. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Rags, you may get chased JUST because you are quietly sitting in the corner, not saying much, and being positively inoffensive to everyone... says goes for Kamog!!

Now, talking about old timers, has anyone seen Taz-in-Space at all recently?

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by growltigger:
Rags, you may get chased JUST because you are quietly sitting in the corner, not saying much, and being positively inoffensive to everyone...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You got a point. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

As far as Taz is concerned. The Last I saw him was in this thread. (http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=007945)

I believe he posted yesterday there.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Is still smarting from the pole that sprang up from nowhere and limps over to the bar*

I havn't been on much becuase my new laptop has a very slow interent connection, we're talking 5 minutes to load the forums main page.

Mlmbd wanted a good chase???

*Raging Deadstar grabs the testicle enhancing/decreasing device and pumps it up to high, not enough to cuase a GT scenario but enough for this particular days fun. On activating it Mlmbd begins to feel a tickling sensation not unlike that time in high school when the class whore took him to the janitors cupboard... whoops i'm digressing off the subject. Mlmbd watches as his "happy sacks* expand to stud proportions and the FBW's gather round excitedly, Mlmbd tries to try his chances and begins to buy drinks for the gathering crowd of waitresses. A few minutes later mlmbd begins to levitate slightly off his bar stool and minutes later is begining to float out through the newly installed skylight. Raging Deadstar walks over and finds the cupboard where timstone and his polish girlfriend have been hanging out and pulls out the Gravitational Hellbore and fires two rather large bLasts up towards the skies. Mlmbd is hanging from his weather baloon inflated nutsack upside down when suddenly he feels the most unreal pain ever. His testicles suddenly implode into nothingness and he falls to the ground, where Raging Deadtsra buys him a drink*

No-ones chased mlmbd, i think it was about time http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mottlee]

Who's "Scout class" Ship is double parked out front?

Better move it....Richard is on his way with a reducer to move it!

[primitive]

primitive had parked his Light Cruiser well away from "Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina". It is always best to be on the safe side, since the ship was stolen from the Phong's outside a pleasurehouse on Ghedran 3A, and primitive knew the Phong's had put a price on his head.

Walking the Last mile on foot, avoiding a double-parked Scout class ship, primitive only brought the most necessary of equipments: His Oakleys, a portable Ultra-Small Incinerator Beam V, and a rusty (yet pointy) spear.

Entering the Cantina, primitive keeps to the shadows and find a silent table in a corner where he can watch without beeing observed.
The Cantina seems to be a place of both pleasure and pain, of both frendliness and random violence. primitive decides he likes the cantina.

primitve orders his favorite drink, and the bartender, seeing primitives bulging muscles and the rusty (yet pointy) spear, while silently thinking that primitive must have a bad hair day, offers to put the drink on someone called GTs tab.

primitive takes a sip of his drink, leans back and watches the FBW's.

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol you bought a drink on Tigga's tab??

*can hear the rumblings of barry rallying the byzantine hoards in the kitchen* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ January 20, 2003, 20:21: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[primitive]

No, the bartender offered to put it on Tiggas tab.

primitive is not suicidal.

[Ragnarok]

I feel sorry for the Bartender today.... Might as well pay our respects now guys. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

I also feel sorry for Primitive as he will no doubt get chased. (All new comers get chased even if you're on good behaviour)
But also I feel sorry for him for accepting the drink on Tigga's tab. You should have scoffed at the bartender for offering it on his tab. (That might ahve earned you some brownie points with Tigga.) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ January 20, 2003, 20:44: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[mottlee]

Now just WHO is going to clean up the bartender when this is all said and done? NOT ME DA*N IT!
I'm still recovering from the LAST one!

[primitive]

Well, so much for a little peace and quiet FBW watching.

primitve puts on his Okleays and grips his rusty (yet pointy) spear tighter.

[Ragnarok]

"rusty (yet pointy) spear"

LOL... That slays(no pun intended) me everytime I read it. The "yet pointy" part gets me laughing whenever I see it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mlmbd]

Not chase? Wow, things are picking up and rags isn't running all over the place.

GT, Thanks for the drink. Maybe the 'Old' guys are not sure how long this thread is going to be here. Might be waiting for the New thread.

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[primitive]

Rusty (Yet pointy) spear!

As with all primitives posession, it is stolen from somewhere (don't remember where). I belive it statistics is something like:

Name := Rusty (Yet pointy) spear
Description := Rusty (Yet pointy)weapon to be inserted where the sun don't shine.
Pic Num :=
Tonnage Space Taken := 0.005
Tonnage Structure := 0.005
Cost Minerals := 1
Cost Organics := 1
Cost Radioactives := 0
Vehicle Type := Handheld
Supply Amount Used := 1 Alcohol
Restrictions := None
General Group := Weapons
Family := 0
Roman Numeral := 1
Custom Group := 0
Number of Tech Req := 2
Tech Area Req 1 := Pointy Spears
Tech Level Req 1 := 1
Number of Abilities := 0
Weapon Type := Stabbing
Weapon Target := Anything that moves
Weapon Damage At Rng := 1000 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Weapon Damage Type := Unlimited
Weapon Reload Rate := 1
Weapon Display Type :=
Weapon Display := 0
Weapon Modifier := 0
Weapon Sound := ionmisl.wav
Weapon Family := 12
Weapon Seeker Speed := 6
Weapon Seeker Dmg Res := 40

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[Growltigger]

Cheers mlmbd, have a drink on me...

But where are the "OLD" regulars, like Saxon, Mac, Tesco Samoa, Gryphin, Taz and the rest?

Dont tell me they have moved on, some of the buggers havn't even settled up their bar tabs http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

[David E. Gervais]

I noticed something funny in the 'interview' thread, someone said that when they sleep they 'dream of being a beta tester!' I've done a bit of beta testing and while I'm testing I 'dream about sleeping!' Strange how that works!

LoL http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by David Gervais:
I noticed something funny in the 'interview' thread, someone said that when they sleep they 'dream of being a beta tester!' I've done a bit of beta testing and while I'm testing I 'dream about sleeping!' Strange how that works!

LoL http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I believe I was the one that said that. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[tesco samoa]

2 open spots on the game at pbw

The Galactic Bash

[mac5732]

In the cantina parking lot, an old, beat up, crusty Battle Cruiser lands. Apparently it has seen a lot of action or inaction http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif The ramp lowers and a suave, debonair, flashing, crusty old timer comes mozying down the ramp. he walks into the cantina, walks over to a table in the cornor, wipes off the cob webs, spiders, and other various vermin that infiltrated the space, sits down, orders his usual scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns and a brewski, looks around at all the new faces, shakes his head, and mumbles where are all the loo worshipers, the Llamas, the sea minions, the furry feline kitty kat, the mischievious Gryphin, the Taz Devil,, aaa, getting old i guess, he picks up his research papers on Liz Hurly and starts to read while waiting for his sustenance....

hmm, I wonder if any of these new faces have a tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas mac

[ January 21, 2003, 06:50: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by mac5732:
hmm, I wonder if any of these new faces have a tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I have a 'Tab' in fact it's what I'm drinking right now! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif (If you're really an old-timer this should strike you as funny!)

I remember the good ol' days when everything was new! aaaaah the memories!

Cheers!

P.S. doesn't this look a bit like you oldtimer?
1040043286.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1040043286.gif)
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1040043286.gif
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ January 21, 2003, 11:49: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

The swing doors to the kitchen are pushed open and Growltigga can be seen peaking through, pointing his Napoleonic telescope toward the bartender.

"Right" sniggers the mighty feline, "any staff of mine that give funny Norwegians holding rusty (yet pointy) spears free drinks on my damn tab have asked for it...." the doors close again and then are pushed open by the tip of a very large steaming incandescent red hot poker ominously mounted on a cast iron trebuchet....

Growltigga reappears holding a pad with a green button, he walks over to the bartender and says "look, a 100 mineral note is lying on the floor" the bartender bends over excitedly, just as GT pushes the green button...

The air sizzels and is parted by the passage of a 9 foot long red hot poker which unfortunately or fortunately depending on your point of view, hits the bartender right up the ringpiece..

The smoke clears, a gentle hammering can be heard as Growltigga is posting a new sign that says, "Barstaff wanted, great rates of pay and life insurance offered, come back Taz, all is forgiven"..

GT walks over to the crusty old peasant in the corner who is seated on his favourite haemmorroid ring... "how's it going grandad? where have you been?"

Something better happen soon as the kitchen is getting very full of killer mongoose

[Krsqk]

*In a galaxy far away, a distant murmur arises. The giant stirs, then rises from sleep. Someone has spoken the Name. The giant quickly dons his gear and sets out to destroy, once and for all, the worshipers of TAB.*

Nasty stuff.

[ January 21, 2003, 15:34: Message edited by: Krsqk ]

[David E. Gervais]

..I feel a stiring in the 'force', I quickly dump my 'Tab' and replace it with a bottle of fine wine (properly aged for 7 seconds) and imediately begin to feel more at ease.

..I haven't felt a stirring like that since days of the imfamous 'Chilli, Cheese and Beer parties of Volumous Prime!' I sure hope 'Count Flatula' hasn't decided to start giving more of those parties! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[mlmbd]

GT, BBQ Mongoose! Ahhh, I can just Taste/Smell them now. I would like a dozen, for here. Your, Lordship!

I like the way employment here works.

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[primitive]

From his place in the corner primitive watches the thumping tiger manhandle (cathandle) the poor bartender.
Realising he may be indirectly responsible for the loss of a valuable employee, primitive knows he should feel remorse.
primitive searches his innermost feelings -- no, nothing there.

Calling one of the FBWs, primitive orders more drinks and a mongoosekebab.

Wonder whos tab this will be on ?

[Growltigger]

AWOOGA AWOOGA WARNING TO ALL CANTINA PATRONS, WARNING TO ALL CANTINA PATRONS AWOOGA AWOOGA

Ahem, as GT turns the siren off, please note that mongoose are employed in my armies, and are NOT, repeat, NOT, eaten as bar snacks or BBQ ingredients.

You really dont want to risk the wrath of the horde beleive me.

Anyhow, what you guys are eating are in fact bits of Puke.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Wanders in and steals macs breakfast but returns it upon finding it is alpen aka hamster food. 'Ahh the old timer is trying to prolong his life span aye, too bad it'll make those colostomy bags lethal' Upon this thought Raging Deadstar opffers to buy some of macs colostomy bags for future wars with timstone and rags. He wnaders over to the bar and puts his name down for job as barstaff*

Of course my requirements for the job are that i get my tab emptied (it needs repaying after growltigger bought that bottle of wine on my tab) and i get to borrow barry to lead my war against my friends cult of cheese.

Not bad considering you get free labour

[Taz-in-Space]

...A sudden wind blows the door open and what looks like a miniature dust devil blows in.

The dust devil makes a quick circuit of the premises and pauses at a sign that says:
"Barstaff wanted, great rates of pay and life insurance offered, come back Taz, all is forgiven"..

Quick as a wink, the dust devil moves behind the bar and stops spinning. Taz, now visible, begins at once to set right all the mistakes that the 'other' bartender made.

Knew the 'Boss' would finally get tired of that 'incompetent pretender'


Imagine NOT taste-testing the potables.
The bar hasn't been wiped in weeks!
And not even a tribble wing in sight!! (What's this - PUKE parts???)

Even Barry looks kinda thin and shabby... What have they been feeding him?

Don't worry boss, I'll have this place ship-shaped in no time!

[primitive]

Wow, 2 bartenders for the price of one, and both legendary and lethal lunatics. This might be fun.

Anyway, this ought to improve the service.
The mongooskebab smells like somthing disgorged from the 3rd stomach of a pyrochette breeder, and primitve tosses it out the front door without tasting it.
Outside, the mongooskebab is picked up and eaten by Barry. Obviously he has not been fed in a long time. Who's job is that anyway ?

[Puke]

Im going to be wanting those parts back..

[Gryphin]

Moves through the doors, scans the room, eyes an oldtimer in the cornor. Strides over, Stands for a minute torn between the desire to steal his breakfast or sit and chat. Decides on the latter,
How goes the battle?

Orders a tab because he does remember them).

[mottlee]

Originally posted by growltigger:
The swing doors to the kitchen are pushed open and Growltigga can be seen peaking through, pointing his Napoleonic telescope toward the bartender.

"Right" sniggers the mighty feline, "any staff of mine that give funny Norwegians holding rusty (yet pointy) spears free drinks on my damn tab have asked for it...." the doors close again and then are pushed open by the tip of a very large steaming incandescent red hot poker ominously mounted on a cast iron trebuchet....

Growltigga reappears holding a pad with a green button, he walks over to the bartender and says "look, a 100 mineral note is lying on the floor" the bartender bends over excitedly, just as GT pushes the green button...

The air sizzels and is parted by the passage of a 9 foot long red hot poker which unfortunately or fortunately depending on your point of view, hits the bartender right up the ringpiece..

The smoke clears, a gentle hammering can be heard as Growltigga is posting a new sign that says, "Barstaff wanted, great rates of pay and life insurance offered, come back Taz, all is forgiven"..

GT walks over to the crusty old peasant in the corner who is seated on his favourite haemmorroid ring... "how's it going grandad? where have you been?"

Something better happen soon as the kitchen is getting very full of killer mongoose<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well so much for springing for a round on me! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[Growltigger]

Growltigga dances round the cantina, even happier than the day he managed to trade his Grandmother in for a Kylie clone and even happier than the day a client actually thanked him for giving up weekends to complete a deal....

DING DONG TAZ IS BACK TAZ IS BACK TAZ IS BACK
DING DONG DA WICKLE TAZ IS BACKKKKKKK

I am so happy, Taz, please feel free to sample the wares as much as you like, someone throw Barry a Bill Gates clone, someone molest the FBW's

Lights, Camera, Action, let the party begin

Camera pan left to watch samba dancing semi-clad FBW's start a high kicking conga routine, free pLastic bottles of booze fall out of the ceiling along with tinsel, balloons and glitter, the killer mongoose army in the kithchen starts morris dancing, Barry shows off his hornpipe whilst happily munching on bill gates clone and Taz is showered with tribble bits

TAZ WHERE HAS YOU BEEN??

[geoschmo]

Geo wanders in the Cantina and looks around. "Hmpf, I thought they were closing this place down." he thinks to himself. He notices Taz busily wiping down the bar and Gt dancing merrily around doing his best Snoopy imitation. "Everything looks pretty much the way it did that Last time I was here. I wonder what happened to those health inspectors?" and he eyes the menu and spots some interesting sounding new dishes. "Civil Servant Souflee?" hmmm. I think I'll pass on that, and he orders his usual beer.

[ January 22, 2003, 13:39: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[mlmbd]

*mlmbd notices that Taz is back behind the bar | yelling as loud as possible* Gald to see you back Taz!
*mlmbd remarks* Dang shame about no BBQ mongoose, though! *mlmbd, mumbles | mouth watering* I really could just taste them son of a guns!
Feeling even hungrer than before, mlmbd goes over to the Candy machine and pauses. He yells at GT, "this real candy GT, or just puke made up to look like candy?
As mlmbd waits for a response from GT, he fumbles with all the coins he is holding.

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>

[Growltigger]

Mlmbd, well, you know poor old Puke had a problem with his haemmorroids, and you know that he visited old Doctor Growltigga to cure them, well, the candy is actually chocolate coated...

Well, put it this way, you do get an awful lot of candy for 5 minerals!!

[mlmbd]

*mlmbd questions* Yes GT, but chocolate coated... What? *mlmbd continues* I ain't into puke candy. I hear out several systems it is all the 'rage'. But I like my candy to be real heart pounding, sugar based nuggets (in assorted varities, of course) covered in liquifed coco butter!

<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font>