Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Growltigga]

ooh, sorry to hear about your lad and mother Mac -I hope everything is better now and they are both on the mend.

Fingers crossed for you tiger

[tesco samoa]

Bash will upgrade to 1.78 today... Mac and gryphin

your turns will be autoed unless you can play them at 1.67

[geoschmo]

Once the game is generating the .gam files using 1.78 all the players will have to be playing the turns using 1.78. You can't have some on the new Version and some on the old Version.

Geoschmo

[tesco samoa]

Geo.. I only mentioned this to mac and gryphin because they upgraded before they did their Last turn. Which is at 1.67.

[Gryphin]

tesco,
auto move ok with me.
steve

[Growltigga]

ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE GALACTIC BASH PEOPLE.

By these presents dated year of our Lord twenty first August two thousand and two, all men be advised that this notice is my irrevocable and unconditional instruction to Mr Geo Schmo of 'Dunshirking', Ohio (hereinafter referred to as 'The Inscrutable Wun-Hung-Lo') to take command of the mighty Growltigga Federation in said Galactic Bash PBW game for a period commencing with immediate effect and ending not later than Monday 9 September, to act as my regent and counsel in all matter galactic and politic, to negotiate treaties on my behalf with plenipotententiary powers, to engage in construction, research and infrastructure development of said empire and to wage war on all and sundry if it looks to Inscutable Wun-Hung-Lo that there is a good chance of victory.

Executed as a deed on the date aforesaid mentioned .

Growltigga the Great
King of the Galaxy, Stellar Diva, President Emeritus of the Growltigga Federation and the Chief Bum-Kicker of the Fighting Furry Felines of the Alliance

[ August 21, 2002, 16:42: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[tesco samoa]

Two New Burger King Sandwiches Negate Each Other
MIAMI—In a gala ceremony at its Miami headquarters, the Burger King Corporation rolled out two new sandwiches that conceptually negate each other. "The new Veggie Burger, with just seven grams of fat, is a refreshing, heart-smart alternative to the usual fast-food junk," Burger King vice-president Robert Fass said. "And brace yourselves, meat lovers: The new BK Hickory Bacon Triple Stack—three juicy, big-beef patties topped with crispy bacon and slathered in a rich, smoked-cheddar sauce—is gonna blow you away." Burger theoreticians posit that the sandwiches could destroy each other if sold in a single order.

[Gryphin]

Is Geo allowed to take bribes on your behalf?

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, Geo has full plenitpotentiary powers to act in my name with regard to the Galactic Bash. He may accept bribes by all means, but if the purpose of these is to give you advantage, then you know that you have gained that advantage by foul means and not beaten me fair and square.

And I have selected Geo as my regent as he is renowned for his integrity, honesty, intrinsic talent and generally being a wonderful guy

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
Is Geo allowed to take bribes on your behalf?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">From anyone but you Gyrphin. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

excerpt from Geo's acceptance speach
...And so it is with great humbleness that I do accept this great responsibilty bestowed upon me. And I ask my fellow Tiggrites to give their best effort in the days ahead, not to me but to the Federation. That we may show of ourselves a good accounting upon the return of Growltigga the Great. That he may be proud of us in what we have accomplished in his absence. And that the light of the Federation will be spread far and wide throughout the quadrant.

Long live the Federation, and long live Growltigga the Great...[fade out to thunderous appluase]

[Growltigga]

Thank you for those kind words Regent Geo "Lord of the Galactic Realms" Schmo. But do remember, this is the Growltigga Federation, a cosmopolitan society of cool cats, bald blokes and latin love goddesses, it is not so much 'cue thunderous applause' but cue the bacardi and the samba dancers, don your sombrero, get your maraccas and whistle and PPAAAAAARRRRTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

and always remember that anyone who crosses the Federation gets decapitated with their head stuck their backside. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Puke]

after a solid litte nap, puke strolls back into the cantina.

he takes a look at the new clone detector, and walks safely by. thinking mischiviosuly to himself, he extracts DNA from a FBW with a large hypodermic that he finds lying about, and inserts it into his pocket clone-o-matic.

a whole line of identical FBWs pop out and inflate to full size, and puke chases them through the front door, where they are squished by the GHB.

collecting the remains in a box, puke returns to his regular table and sets up his own little stage show with miniturized FBWs on the tabletop.

Send over a drink, and reconcile my tab.

[Growltigga]

BEFORE I DEPART FOR FOREIGN CLIMES MALAYSIAN

New house rule, no taking DNA samples from the FBW, they are there to serve and to be adored, not cloned and interferred with (well, not at the genetic level anyhow).

Barry gives Puke a good chewing by way of punishment

[Puke]

dont blame me, that large hypodermic someone left laying about was just screaming out to be used to extract DNA from a FBW! Fluffy Bunnies have a long histroy in the medical research field!

and hey, just look at the great table dance. some showtunes from a walkman, and its entertainment four hours!

[tesco samoa]

Tesco shows up later that evening with Lemmy.

And turns on the K-O-K-IE machine and does a duet of bomber... with Lemmy..

Ahhhh.... Dreams do happen all the time at the cantina...

[Puke]

Originally posted by tesco samoa:
And turns on the K-O-K-IE machine and does a duet of bomber... with Lemmy..<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">puke enjoys the tune, but thinks to himself that this might not be the same Lemmy. in fact, he thinks the Girl School Version had better vocal accompanyment.

the psychics in the room nod their heads in agreement.

hmmm.. i think i posted this in another thread, but in a fight between Lemmy and God, who would win?

[ManOfWar]

I find this really funny. You all were so willing to stand up for those crappy Trek sets, but not one of you has posted that the NAYS sit is down. It has been down for a few days now. I want to share with you an email I got today. Oh this is funny.

WTF is your problem? Why do you have to be so hateful? I hope someday someone does to you what you seem to enjoy doing to others. Your failure to compermise on the concept of star trek only demonstrates the closed mindedness of the way you think. I hope your hard drive fails you little prick!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This was from pcpatrocities@hotmail.com What does the PCP stand for? Are you a drug user? What I found funny was that he did not know his site was down until today. I am laughing at this. You all stood up for him, and no one, not even he, knew that the site was down. LOL I win. Thats twice now. To home runs.

[ August 22, 2002, 09:19: Message edited by: ManOfWar ]

[Growltigga]

ManofWar, you are juvenile

You have stated that your shipsets are so much better. Why dont you post them if they are so good so that the rest of us may benefit from your profound knowledge and expertise. The reason you dont is probably because they are crap or that you are lieing and they do not exist. I suspect the latter.

'To home runs'? you really are bad at grammar aren't you?

[ August 22, 2002, 14:58: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Gryphin]

I find this really funny. You were so willing to suggest to Sachmo (who has posted (thousands of words), that he use a spell checker.

“Thats twice now. To home runs.”

Samples of bad spelling or bad grammar in 117 words.
Just an observation. Not intended as a flame.

[Atrocities]

Tigga, please read your Private Messages. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Well MoW it would appear so. I won't post your email Messages here. I will not give you what you want. However, I will tell you this: you have succeded in shutting me down, I will not rebuild the site. You can go away now. You have won. You need not email me any more.

PCP = Population Control Police

It is a clan name for another game I play. Now go away and pat yourself on your back. Just remember, what comes around shall go around or so it has been written.

Don't worry about NASY. (Not NAYS) If you need or want the ship sets, you can download them from PBW, or from here in the download section. I will update the links later.

Don't feed this guys ego. Just ignor his post.

[ August 22, 2002, 12:05: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[Growltigga]

Atrocities and Dumbluck (if he ever comes back into the cantina)

Wise words. Being a corporate lawyer, my natural inclination toward obstacles is to go head on and destroy them. I prefer your tactic of sending ManofWar to Coventry.

Consider it done.

[sachmo]

Originally posted by ManOfWar:
I find this really funny. You all were so willing to stand up for those crappy Trek sets, but not one of you has posted that the NAYS sit is down. It has been down for a few days now. I want to share with you an email I got today. Oh this is funny.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">WTF is your problem? Why do you have to be so hateful? I hope someday someone does to you what you seem to enjoy doing to others. Your failure to compermise on the concept of star trek only demonstrates the closed mindedness of the way you think. I hope your hard drive fails you little prick!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This was from pcpatrocities@hotmail.com What does the PCP stand for? Are you a drug user? What I found funny was that he did not know his site was down until today. I am laughing at this. You all stood up for him, and no one, not even he, knew that the site was down. LOL I win. Thats twice now. To home runs.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I have to say that I am shocked and appalled by what you have done. What exactly was the point? You need to stop and think about what has just happened here. Atrocities the person will continue to live his life. You didn't really harm him in any way. All you have succeeded in doing is closing down a site that was a resource for many gamers who enjoyed playing with his excellent ship sets. Congratulations, ManOWar. You have succeeded in ruining the fun for many, many people. If that was your tactic, you succeeded. God, what a sick person you turned out to be.

BTW: You really do give Star Trek fans a bad name. Also, please don't ever address me again in the future. You shall not get a response from me, and I don't have a site for you to shut down.

[thorfrog]

I have never had a problem with anyone I have talked to in this community until now. ManOWar needs to be Banned from this forum. In addition I think a legal avenue can be taken for his assualt on Atrocities web site. If possible please do. This kind of harassment should not go unpunished. The internet is about expressing new ideas. Whether we agree with them or not. But when some chump tries to censor our free speach, we have a big problem.

If there is a legal avenue please rally people together against this person.

[Growltigga]

Atomanjj, check your PM

[mac5732]

Mac walks past Barry nodding to him,(making sure he does not show his teeth in the process as this would be a challenge to the good old T-Rex), as he goes to his favorite table in the cantina. He opens the Cantina Post and begins to read whats been going on in the cantina of late. He reads MoW's most pathetic mumble jumble of nonsensical unwanted and unwarranted trash, but what can be expected of a cosmic dust mite, calls over the L.H. look a like FBW and has her bring him a phone. He dials a number, says a few words, hangs up the phone, leans back with a smile, and waits.

Short time later, A most hideously Large space tramp freighter arrives and parks in the space-lot next to the cantina, 4 T-Rexs, carrying a large metal container, walk into the cantina after showing their parking pass to Barry, They walk in look around and spy MoW leaning sarcastically against a cornor wall, with the floor shaking, & windows rattling from the thump of their passage, the lst T-Rex walks over to MoW, bends down, opens his large facial cavity and proceeds to swallow while chewing most audacioiusly. He then walks out onto the patio, followed by the other 3 carrying the container. A large rumbling starts coming from the lst T-Rex, who most dilligently raises his left leg in a most dignified manner and proceeds to Break Wind, the other three T-s, immiedatly uncap the metal container and using an attached hose, inhale the the essance into the container. After making sure all of the essance that was dispatched by the lst T is wholly in the container, they lock the lid, walk thru the cantina, leaving a form on the bar, get into their freighter and leave. Taz, looking at the form reads

"The hazardous waste which has been removed from the cantina shall be stored in a Waste dump for the next 1000 yrs until it no longer is considered waste... Charge 1 penny

Mac smiles, tosses a penny to Taz and orders his breakfast while continuing to read the Cantina Post, hmmm how can one ignore someone who is not there.....

just some ideas Mac

[ August 22, 2002, 18:54: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[thorfrog]

PM?

[Growltigga]

Atomanjj, PM = private Messages

[Major Tom]

ManOfWar:

Only a fool tries to demand Star Trek canon.

Only fools beleive that there is a such thing as Star Trek canon after the past 10 years.

There is no Star Trek canon because those that took over after Gene's death decided money was more important then creating a quality show that is even close to a realistic future.

Every episode contradicts some form of canon from the Last. Not to nickpick, but originally phasers were introduced just before the Original Series (to explain why they used lasers in the pilot). However, the braniacs of Paramount decided to introduce Phasers into "Enterprise" which was hundreds of years earlier.

You yourself said that Voyager was not a destroyer (which all accounts from Paramount says it is, one of the few times it did not destroy canon). So YOU are the one who is trying to fly in the face of ACTUAL Star Trek canon! You blasphemer!

My point is, is if you are going to nail someone for defying the canon of something, do it with something that actually has a canon! Not the hodge podge of poor quality episodes that has been Star Trek for the Last decade.

[ August 22, 2002, 18:25: Message edited by: Major Tom ]

[Jmenschenfresser]

Hmmm...

Just goes to show that there are bad forums out there, and like bad families, they spawn demented Online offspring.

"What's with the negative waves, Moriarty?"

As a psycologist, which I am not, I would say he loves Star Trek so much, it can never be what he wants it to be, so he hates it equally as much.

[tesco samoa]

back on topic.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Mac... My friend nice to see some humour in that Last post of yours http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[sachmo]

Originally posted by Jmenschenfresser:
Hmmm...

Just goes to show that there are bad forums out there, and like bad families, they spawn demented Online offspring.

"What's with the negative waves, Moriarty?"

As a psycologist, which I am not, I would say he loves Star Trek so much, it can never be what he wants it to be, so he hates it equally as much.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">"Oh man. I don't like officers."
"Relax. Neither does he."

[Trajan]

&gt;Trajan steps under the hungry T. Rex (tossing him a 20 spot to keep him happy) and into the Cantina after having "ducked and covered" for the Last few days at work. Motioning to a FBW he shakes off the Last few days of work-place stress and orders a deep, peaty single malt whisky.&gt;

I am at once happy to see MoW not able to post, and sad that discontent/irrationablity such as he showed through his posting here was so easy to anger us (me included). I would have enjoyed the arguement if it had been rational.

I enjoy a loud knock-down drag-out shouting match once in a while, but MoW seemed to be just plain angry and irrational. This saddens a little, me as a little chaos, just to stir the pot a bit, is a good thing.

Anyhow...time to go pick up the wife and get to the bar. Thanks for the scotch and I'll see ya tomorrow! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Cheers!
Trajan

[Puke]

i guess i will come back when the cantina resumes being an attractive distraction. i can get all the uglyness i want in the real world.

-puke settles his tab and takes a walk.

[Atrocities]

I made this. CLICK HERE (http://www.angelfire.com/mo3/homeworld/video.html) Forgive the piss poor quality. The hi-quality Version is 2.7 gigs. Now if only I could get my GD DvCam to record it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Growltigga]

Growltigga tells security to hold Puke, cue dancing girls, cue FBW's, cue beuatiful people, cue samba dancers, cue load music and cue dancing sheep

good enough for you El Vomito?

[Growltigga]

Following Richard's sterling diktat from the PING: Atrocities thread, I hereby decree that any mention of ManofWar in the cantina is now BANNED with immediate effect.

Folks, we have enough of our own examples of Cranial-Rectal InVersion that we need to focus on one extreme case.

Time to move on. Drinks are on me for the next 2 weeks.

[Gryphin]

Drinks are on you/ i like mine in a glass or mug thank you.

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, ouch, OK to clarify, drinks are on my tab for the next two weeks

[Gryphin]

Oh, silly me,
You mean you, (GrowlTigga), will be paying for everyones purchases in the cantinna.
I guess I just expected more exactude from ya dude.

[Growltigga]

Ahem, I am not taking any remarks about my preciseness from an individual who uses the expression 'dude'

[Gryphin]

I hereby withdraw the word, "dude" and substitute the word, "Fat Cat"

[Growltigga]

That is a bit personal, I will admit to being feline yes but thanks to my diet and the horrible stomach problems I got after Japan and Korea, I have lost about 35 pounds and now have a physique like a racing snake.

In fact, I am seriously worried that when I hit the beach in my trunks, I am going to have to beat the totty off with a sharp stick! The current Mrs GT has often recently remarked how she is sorry that she is expecting because given my new shape, she would like to have fun practising again.
Hmm, I would rather be fat and feline than being a short sighted line dancer with a manged rodent inhabiting my top lip http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Yippee, back to the old days of GT/Gryphin antagonism http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ August 23, 2002, 14:11: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Gryphin]

I'll save up as may barbs as I cancan.
You wlll have to comb the threds looking for them. Or should I prepare an index?

Will you be posting a picture of the new gue, er you?
I could put it at my web site?
Just trying to be helful.

[Crazy_Dog]

The Big Cat pay the Bills ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
The Dogs drink happy !!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Trajan]

&lt;Trajan steps into the Cantina, after a smokey evening out with the wife, shooting some pool, enjoying several pints of cold Bass Ale and dumping workplace stress.&gt;

Hey! Since Tigga is buying the drinks, I'll have a JW Blue, with a sliver of ice in the glass please.

While I am speaking up...here is a lil' old joke to start the day...

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Cheers!
Trajan

[mac5732]

As Mac reads the large sign over the bar that the Drinks are on the Tiggas tab, he smiles, walks over to the phone at the end of the bar, places a call, hangs up and asks Taz for a large Coors Lite, walks over to the table and reclines.

Short time later, the cantina shakes as a medium sized space cruiser lands in the parking lot. Mac walks out and greets the Phong pilot who in turn gives him the keys. Mac directs him to Taz at the bar where he signs Tiggas Tab, as the pilot walks out he yells at Mac, Hey pal, I hope you enjoy the new "Drinks" class Cruiser you ordered, sure was nice of that Kat to buy you one, it has all the latest upgrades, Mac just smiles, leans back, places his breakfast order with a FBW, opens up the Cantina Post, and mumbles to himself, sure will be quiet around here for the next 2 weeks.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

He does note in the Paper however in large headlines, "Sun bathing in the Pacific area will be postponed due to numerous Typhoons and earthquakes in the general area, possibley for the next several weeks, beach bunnies canceling trips due to rains, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

have fun GT

just some ideas Mac

[Growltigga]

Mac doesn't notice as Growltigga, realising that the incontinent one has stuck a bloody space cruiser on the house tab, sneaks up behind up with his trusty 8 pound titanium alloyed sledge hammer.

With a whoosh of air, the great Kat whallops Mac from behing with said sledge hammer and then sticks the cantina post up Mac's left nostril..

"That'll learn the old' fart' thinks Growltigga, "he always was a lucky pierre"

The forecast is sun sun sun and more bikinis than you can shake your snake at

[mac5732]

As Mac looks around the cornor of the bar, he notices the Tigga utilizing extreme brute force over in the cornor, Mac chuckles to himself as he puts away his handy dandy hologram duplicator key chain. aaahhh these little gizmos sure come in hand when needed, its just a shame that Barry bumped me as I flicked the ole switch, sigh, that bump made me move the hologram over Saxon who was sitting at another table, poor Saxon, I hope he doens't end up with a headache or sinus condition from the Furry Feline, oh well, Mac walks out to his new brand new Drinks class cruiser and orders a wax job for it.

Barry comes out and tells him of a news special on the TV in the cantina. Mac walks in just in time to hear " and in conjunction with all this audacious weather now in the Pacific, it appears that "No Shrek Look a Like" No Tresspassing signs have been posted on all beaches and hotel pools in the Pacific area, From what we understand this was due to numerous phones calls received from some Cantina ..... Beach Bunnies leaving in droves......

just some ideas lol mac

[Growltigga]

Mac, check that lump on your head amigo, you should know that hologram prjectors do not work within the confines of the cantina..

Let me see, you will spend the next fortnight eating doughnuts in Ohio, I will be on a beach in the pacific.. I will take my chances on who gets to see the most beach babes

[mac5732]

Mac walks over to the sign over the doorway which reads "No Clones Allowed", looks down and wipes the dust off the fine print at the bottom of the sign which reads "however, hologram duplicaters may be used in conjunction with the format of this cantina http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

I must agree that the chances of ooggglling at bouncing, bobbing, jiggling, bikini clad beach bunnies in the Pacific far outways the same type of scientific study you would find here in Ohio, so I would would like to request that any ahem, photos etc that you may take or encounter be done in duplicate and sent to The University of B.J.S.B.B.. of which I head the scientific research department. I'm sure that after great study and scrutney that great strides in this area may be accomplished. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

enjoy yourself and watch out for typhoons and earthquakes, the Pacific is noted for these types of Party Spoilers....

just some ideas mac

[ August 23, 2002, 15:55: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Gryphin]

“Barry comes out and tells him of a news special on the TV in the cantina” Barry can talk? Way Cool. Can he sing also?

[mac5732]

My good ole Gryphin, haven't you ever heard of Barry the singing T-ReX? Do to my extensive scientific research thru the years, I have picked up some of Dinosourisificatesitis, which is the study and learning of different types of Languages of the various types of creatures that inhibit or use to inhibit this fair system. Those grunts, growls, etc, that one hears from Barry and others like him are actually a form of communication, thanks to Dinosourisificatesitis, I was able to understand his meaning http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

just some ideas mac

[Gryphin]

mac, what other Languages do you speak?

[TerranC]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
horrible stomach problems I got after Japan and Korea<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Indeed, Sushi and Kimchi does not go well together.

Edit: Mac, it all depends on where in the pacific he is going:

China: Beware of the smogs
Korea: if you can find a spot where you are at least 1 meter away from the nearest person, you are suffereing heat exhaustion.
Japan: Same thing with Korea, but more fisherman that will mistake you for a kingfisher.
Austrailia: I heard the sharks are beutiful this time of year.
New Zealand: You'd need a parka jacket if you want to swim in those waters.
South America: Everybody asking you for change.
North America: The squids and the dolphins should be decomposing about now.
Southeast Asia: Here's a word: Help me.
Oceania: You got a wee pot of gold to flush down the toilet?

[ August 23, 2002, 16:32: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[dogscoff]

haven't you ever heard of Barry the singing T-ReX?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wasn't he in Status Quo at one point? Ah, how the mighty have fallen.

What courses are available at the university of BJBSS? I was thinking of going to nightschool. I was gonna learn some basic German, but this sounds like more fun to me...

[Growltigga]

TerranC, I am going to Sabah and Sarawak in Malaysian Borneo.. kimchi and sushi go together nicely IIRC, as long as you have some marmite on hand to smear over the top.

Oceania is megabucks but very nice when you get there

Mac, what courses are run at the uni, it sounds too good to be true?

and Barry the Singin T-Rex was in Manhattan Trasnfer, and then was in Pantera I think Last

[ August 23, 2002, 16:54: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Growltigga]

"We're all going on a summer holiday
No more working for a week or two
Fun and laughter on a summer holiday
Lots of drinking for me and you
I am going where the sun shines brightly
I am going where the sea is blue
I am going where the blart goes nightly
And that's what I going to dooooooooooo"

Growltigga, clutching suitcase, bevy of beachbabes and passport, looking cool as a cucumber in his police sunglasses, departs for better climes. The floor trembles, the floor shakes, glasses of water have that ominois "Jurassic Park" look about them as the current Mrs GT strides past the cantina (Barry is hiding under Mac's "drink" class cruiser cowering in terror)

Au revoir mes enfants, je voyage à un endroit où les filles ont les meilleurs corps dans le monde,
las mujeres hermosas serán por todas partes mí und alle schönen mädchen werden keine kleider tragen e le belle ragazze faranno tutto vuole saperchi sono

Translate that lot if you can

AWOOGA AWOOGA AWOOGA AWOOGA AWOOGA

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz, just finishing up ahh.. draining the forward cargo hold on Mac's new 'drink' cruiser(have to maintain quality control!),staggers as
Mrs. GT passes by.
Now there is a formidable 'little' woman http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Finally making it back into the cantina, Taz wonders why the cantina seemed to be moving? It almost looked like the cantina was drunk and staggering http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif Must be his overactive imagination.

Back behind the bar, Taz puts a new sign up in flashing NEON letters: No molesting, cloning, or otherwise violently attacking the FBW's unless requested to do so by said FBW. No exceptions. (this means YOU TOO PUKE http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )

The things we staff of this place have to endure http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif ...

[ August 23, 2002, 17:35: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar slowly parks up outside the cantina. Maybe would have shouted a cheeky comment but then again, if GT's comedy violence is as legendary as it is, he wasn't messing with the wife! Turns round to see Taz stagger out of the new ships hull, drink in each hand! Taz falls againts Raging Deadstars Dreadnought and activates the cargo doors, which fall down to reveal boxs of drink piled up bought on tiggas tab. Raging Deadstar whistles innocently and closes the doors. Drags one of the 2 Bill Gates clones he kept around for torture, throws to Barry to cheer hims up and narrowly avoids the large shower of blood before requesting a pantera song. Orders Bill Gates Clone 2 to walk into the cantina, watches as it implodes by the GHB, scoops up the remains and puts it on a plate for puke, finishing it off with two carribean umberellas.

Sits down, pulls out his laptop and continues plotting his 5 Stage attack on the Chowder imperium. The Muse Republic shall not be beaten! Looks down and realises he pressed end turn before moving the other ten fleets! DOH

[mac5732]

Dogscoff, Tigga and Gryphin & whoever

The University of BJSBB has a large number of courses that are conclusive in regards to the scientific research of various aspects of those topics in question. Some of the most note worthy for Freshman (all new students at the U.) are listed as follows. They may be taken within l semester but recommendations are to be liberal and spread them out in order to more fully enjoy the mental and psyical aspects of these learning tools.

If anyone has other courses that they would like BJSBB to consider please feel free to list them here in the cantina and I shall see that the faculty gives them consideration.

Are they Real or Implants 101 3 credit hrs

Does One Size Fit all 104 2 credit hours

How to stretch Bikinis to embrace those who are well endowed 102 5 credit hrs

The Right & Wrong Way to Jiggle On the Beach 3cr hrs

How to Bounce and obtain eye contact 2 cr hrs

WARNING;
Most of these classes may include actual demonstrations or hands on Labs and are not recommended for those with pacemakers, heart problems, or other ailments which may be affected by strenuous observations or activities. In addition; Homework will also be assigned along with various field trips to a number of prime observation locations. To more resolutely engage in the recovery of data to enable each student to progress foreward in each of these classes..

Mac
Phd, Cod, Coed, BS, BBTD, MDT, etc

[ August 23, 2002, 19:25: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Ragnarok]

Ragnarok pulls up in parking lot with brand new Dreadnaught and steps out. Turns around and looks at his new baby and then walks into the cantina. Gives the Bill Gates 2 clone a swift kick where it counts the most and says "That's for... Well I don'tk now but it's for something. I'm sure everyone agrees with me as well. Then orders a round of the most expensive booze for everyone here. (Of course on Taz tab) Looks around the room and says, "Hey everyone! Look at my new ride! Ain't she a beaut! 0 to 3 light years in under 10 seconds. One of the fastest in her class. I just finished adding a few mods to it to spruce her up." Everyone looks and ooooo's and ahhh's over it. Takes a gander at his watch and says, "Welp boys and girls, I must be going, enjoy your round of booze and the rest of your weekend. I shall return late Sunday night or Monday sometime." Then nods his head, takes a final sip and walks out and into his new Dread. Engages engines and bLasts off to another system at ludicris speeds.

[Gryphin]

Taz,
Since GT is buying, can you transferr what Ragged Rock just put on your tab over to GT's?

[Atrocities]

I made this. CLICK HERE (http://www.angelfire.com/mo3/homeworld/video.html) Forgive the piss poor quality. The hi-quality Version is 2.7 gigs. Now if only I could get my GD DvCam to record it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Trajan]

Very cool Atrocites.

[TerranC]

I see that you used Babelfish, since when I used it to translate the passage it made sense perfectly:

Au revoir mes enfants, je voyage à un endroit où les filles ont les meilleurs corps dans le monde,

Goodbye my children, I travel to a place where the girls have the best bodies in the world

las mujeres hermosas serán por todas partes mí

the beautiful women will be throughout me

und alle schönen mädchen werden keine kleider tragen

and all beautiful girls do not become dresses carry

e le belle

beutiful

ragazze faranno tutto vuole saperchi sono

girls will make all want saperchi are

Indeed, good growltigga. Indeed.

[TerranC]

Cool.

But what was that thing at the end?
Some kind of face?

[dumbluck]

dumbluck pulls into the quiet parking lot. No-one seems to be around, the lot is empty, and a very large, very carnivorous looking dinosaur is off in a corner, dozing inside it's dinosaurhouse. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif Shaking his head, but unable to resist his curiosity, dumbluck parks as close to the door as possible (just in case a quick getaway is required). Opening the cockpit door of his 15 engine Light Cruiser (QNP, of coarse), he glances at the dinosaur; it doesn't stir. Anxiously dumbluck creeps forward and puts his ear to the front door. Only silence is to be heard.

Never, ever, ever since it's construction had dumbluck seen the Phong's head this quiet, this... deserted. dumbluck couldn't stand it. He wondered where all these crazy people had gone off to, or at least why they had left. He knew better than to hope that they had left for good. Besides, he wasn't going to get a better opportunity than this to go inside and get a quick look around, maybe see why the place is so popular. With one Last anxious glance over his shoulder at the dinosaur (is that a purple valet's vest it's wearing http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif ), he opened the door and quickly slipped quietly inside.

Or tried to. As soon as the door opened, the Graviton Hellbore just inside the doorway began to noisily power up. But it was too late, dumbluck was already inside. A small box connected to the GHB began to chirp and beep loudly as scanning lasers swept over his body. Instinct took over, and dumbluck tried to back out of the door. But the door had already shut behind him, and as he pressed his back against it, he stared down the muzzle of the large weapon. After a few seconds, the scanning lasers disappeared, and the GHB began to power back down.

In hindsight, dumbluck should have just turned around and left right then. But his curiosity could not be denied, and so he steeled his nerves and walked out of the antechamber into the bar itself. Immediately, about 20 large, fuzzy bunnies bounced over, rubbing the sleep from their eyes as they stumbled over each other in their eagerness. Before he knew what was happening, they had whisked him off his feet and carried him over to the bar. They plop a drink down in front of him as he is forced onto a barstool.

"What's this," asks dumbluck, not really expecting an answer. He seems to be the only person here, unless you count the escaped rabbit circus.

To his amazement, the bunnies reply in unison, "It's tea. Some of our regulars like it. Where's your mug?"

dumbluck stares at them in disbelief. Talking rabbits? What in the world??? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif Absently he reaches for the offered drink as he tries to wrap his mind around these sentient rodents communicating and serving drinks. He sputters as the liquid fire burns it's way down his gullet. "What kind of tea is this?!" he exclaims, noting the acid burns on the bar where the liquid spilled from his cup as he threw it down.

"Why, it's Rhode Island Iced Tea, of coarse. What other tea would be served in a bar," replied the largest rabbit of the bunch. "How about some music," it continued, and promptly one of the other bunnies bounded off to the jukebox.

As the music (if it could be called that) flared from the speakers, tiny little rabbits jumped up on the bar in front of him and started to do the can-can. dumbluck couldn't take any more of it, and ran screaming from the bar. The T-Rex outside looked up in confusion as the little man continued to run out of the parking lot and out onto the highway. "He didn't even take his Cruiser," it thought aloud. Then it layed back down to continue it's nap.

[ August 24, 2002, 10:42: Message edited by: dumbluck ]

[geoschmo]

ROFL! That has to win the award for best "First post" in the Catina. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[tesco samoa]

Ice tea and blueberry fritters coming right up...

Tesco is tending bar .... as is tesco singing.... and look another tesco is sitting out on the patio with Rollo dicussing the virtues of 500ml beer vs 454ml beer..

[TerranC]

Welcome to the Cantina, Dumbluck.

If you don't like the Tea, at least it goes on Mac's tabs.

[mac5732]

Welcome Dumbluck, the lst drink is on the Kat since he made his wishes known before he left for the sun lit beaches, however, I must say that in regards to the Fluffy Bunnies, I ahem, think you should look into obtaining glasses as I don't believe they are little furry bunny rodents, at least not the Last time I saw them http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif however, anything is possible here in the cantina, and to each his own. May you enjoy your stay, but be warned of Cartoon Mayhem, violence and other tom foolery within the confines, the patio and the parking lot... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif PS. watch out for the Rose Bushes.......Oh and be sure to fill out the form to start a Tab.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas mac

[Taz-in-Space]

Gryphin, I have moved those drinks onto GT's tab.

Did anybody notice that Ragnarok somehow managed to kick that Bill Gates clone after he got shot by the clone detector? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

Dumbluck, welcome to the cantina. Drinks are on GT,(no NOT literaly)at least until he get back. I'll have Barry the T-rex look after your cruiser til you get back. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Your tab application will be ready for your signature when you return. Standard form with 600 pages of really small print - in triplicate! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Tesco, watch out for the clone detector. (how the H did you not get zapped? are you triplets?)
And get out from behind the bar!!! (When the Kat's away the Tesco's will play I guess http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif )

Umm, Raging Deadstar, about those boxes of drinks I glimsed in your Dreadnought...

[ August 25, 2002, 16:04: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Ragnarok]

Ummm, who cares if I kicked good ole Bill after he was shot. At least I got to kick him right?!

[ManOfWar]

Hello again. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Trajan]

Trajan parks his high-speed Corvette with the pleather seats and furry dash outside the cantina. Tossing a few dollars into Barry's tip jar, he walks into the cantina and strolls up to the bar, grabs a stool and orders his morning brew.

"Taz, can I have a hot double-shot espresso please....I have some serious waking up to do this morning!". http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

Looking around, Trajan, notes that there are some FBW's discussing their Dumbluck encounter, and wondering why someone would run away so fast from something so lovely as the FBW's.

Cheers!
Trajan

[mac5732]

After finishing his non caleric breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast and juice in the cantina,, he walks out to his Drinks class CA, complements of good ole GT http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif , and has Barry help him carry some crates over to the side windows of the cantina. He tips Barry with a Bill Gates clone that he found laying around on the floor near the front door, then proceeds to plant some new, improved Rose Bushes outside all the windows of the cantina, these are new improved Versions with longer ripping, tearing thorns. As he is planting the new Gryphin Traps, he hears a horrendous, blood curling screeching coming from within the cantina, putting his hands over his ears he looks thru a window trying to locate this most high pitched wailing, which sounds like someone who is being taught the proper ways to torture someone on the Rack. As he looks into the cantina, he notices everyone with their hands over their ears or with Ear protectors on, he scanns the rooms and finaly finds the source of this most atrocious racket, its Tesco singing behind the bar.... Taz, if your going to let the Tesco help behind the bar, please do something about his singing, at least see if Barry can give him some pointers or voice lessons... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

an ear covering Mac http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[tesco samoa]

Tesco is just tending bar... Not helping.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar walks over to taz needing a great explanation for the drinks he got off tiggas tab.
"Well ummm I'm going to mix them together and try and make a brand new drink for Tigga to market, buy a brewery and pump out more great beverages for the cantina!"

Taz looks unimpressed....

*Hands Taz a contract* "Oh please fill this in Taz, it means all experiments must be tested by you for taste and quality, plus i'm sure we could through in some free drinks as well to persuade you! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif "

Will taz accept????? its free drink ain't it

[dogscoff]

Did anybody notice that Ragnarok somehow managed to kick that Bill Gates clone after he got shot by the clone detector?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Actually I can explain that. After retaking my job at Tigg-Scoff PLC, I took the liberty of having an experimental new leisure device installed at the Cantina for some field testing.

It's a "kick-o-matic stress relief Gates clone." I had to reconfigure the GHB sensors to ignore it (after several satisfying but messy mistakes) but now it works just fine. He's tethered up by the door, so just give him a kick for free on your way in, that's what he's there for.

Anyone who has just experienced a catastrophic windows meltdown and/or re-install can pay 10 minerals for a five-minute beating-the-living-sh1t-out-of-him session.

I predict that this new innovation will double the company's profits inside of a month=-)

[ August 27, 2002, 10:01: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Crazy_Dog]

Crazy_Dog pay 1.000 minerals for use the device for a looong time http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ August 27, 2002, 00:32: Message edited by: Crazy_Dog ]

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz is reading the contract that Raging Deadstar gave him...

Hmmm, Party of the first part, that's RD - Party of the second part, Me I guess... Free drinks...
Well, I'm all for Partys and Free drinks!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
I sign the contract: Taz Devil

Tesco, I am going out on a limb here, but I'll certify you Offical Patio Bartender! Remember service with a smile (show a LOT of teeth - the tips tend to be larger this way http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ) And don't forget to 'Quality Control' the liquid refreshments from time to time!

Dogscoff, we need more of those B Gates clones. Barry seems to have picked up the habit of EATING THEM. I think that MAC may have lead him to taking up this nasty habit! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Crazy Dog, was that One mineral or one THOUSAND?
I'll give you credit for 1000 this time... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hello, ManOfWar. Welcome to the Cantina. Belly up to the bar and name your brand of liquid diVersion. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ August 27, 2002, 04:29: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Puke]

Originally posted by Taz-in-Space:
(show a LOT of teeth - the tips tend to be larger this way http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">so YOURE who barry learned it from

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff, we need more of those B Gates clones. Barry seems to have picked up the habit of EATING THEM. I think that MAC may have lead him to taking up this nasty habit!
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">*Dogscoff installs a auto-cloner to automatically replace any stress-relief Gates clones which get eaten or otherwise removed from service. He also installs a cute trained monkey to tether each new clone as it spawns and to hold out a paper cup for beating-payments.

He also introduces a small random factor into the auto-cloner's DNA sequencer module, so that every now and again a clone will be spawned which *doesn't* match the anti-clone GHB's non-kill file, and so gets entertainingly densified=-)

BTW, any abuse of the monkey will be severely punished. Trained monkies are damnedly expensive to replace, you know. Taz, I expect you to discipline Barry and make sure he doesn't eat the monkey. Oh, and the monkey is paid in banana daiquiris, but don't let him drink more than 3 a day or he gets all drunk and depressed...

[ August 27, 2002, 10:18: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[dogscoff]

I've decided to trial another Tigg-scoff innovation at the cantina. It's a mini-resource converter vending machine. It's for people who don't have enough minerals to cover their tab, or who want to get local currency having just flown in from off-planet.

Simply insert a small amount of organics or radioactives into the machine and it will spit out an equivalent amount of minerals (minus a reasonable conVersion fee, of course.)

*Dogscoff trials the machine by dismembering a Gates clone and feeding the gory body parts in. The "Organics" light blinks on, and 3.4 units of minerals pop out. It works! The auto-cloner begins the re-spawning process and Dogscoff tries some other materials:
A pint of guiness produces 0.8 minerals, and a steaming pile of T-Rex poo returns a hefty 4.7 minerals. Strangely, a plate of the ultra spicy deep-fried tribble wings light up both the organic *and* radioactives indicators, and returns a staggering 5.3 minerals.

Dogscoff instructs Taz to put the price of the tribble wings up, to avoid an obvious exploit...

[Crazy_Dog]

Originally posted by Taz-in-Space:
[QBCrazy Dog, was that One mineral or one THOUSAND?
I'll give you credit for 1000 this time... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">One THOUSAND of course.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Not enought time to kick BG but is all the time that i have for fun http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[ August 27, 2002, 17:07: Message edited by: Crazy_Dog ]

[Suicide Junkie]

Hey, Dogscoff, is there any particular reason why the full Viking shipset is not in the TDM modpack?

All I found were the default SE4 images, and I had to download all the extras separately!

[dogscoff]

Not sure, Rollo tends to deal with the TDM guys more than I do. I really ought to update the vikings zip on my website, too.

[Raging Deadstar]

"I , Raging Deadstar, apoligise for feeding barry Bill gates clones in the first place, but if i do say so myself barry enjoyed it!"

Sits down, smiles at a waving taz. Now that RD ordered the new facilities to create this free drink Taz will be intoxicated for quite some time!

That reminds me, I saw that Tazmania cartoon the other day, are you related to the ginger dad who says "yachety shmacety" ??????? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hmmmm the paperclip is annoying, but Links ,the cat assistant, has grown on me! lol. Hey my ships broke down cos it runs on a windows system instead of master computers!

*wanders off towards bill gates clone*
"Hey this ones mine! I demand twice as long beating him up!
*continues with pummeling*

*Walks outside only to find Barry dressed up in a red suit and red top hat tapdancing with a cane, do Bill gates clones contain an excessive ammount of sugar????*

[Rollo]

The extra pics for the TDM-Vikings have been removed in order to make the Modpack not any bigger than necessary.

Rollo

[ August 27, 2002, 21:16: Message edited by: Rollo ]

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff tuts and sighs at his third uninterrupted post in a row. Where is everyone?

He drops a couple of hundred minerals into the paper cup which the monkey is holding. He arbitrarily headbutts the current Gates clone ("That's for that sodding paperclip assistant") and tells the monkey that the rest of the abuse time is for Atrocities. He orders a few beers for himself and Atrocities and settles into a table near the bar, hopefully out of range of the inevitable blood stains.

[ August 27, 2002, 12:27: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Atrocities]

Thanks for the beer http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

I am now going to retire for the night, day, week. You all have a round on me. The credits good until Clinton finds out his wallets missing. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[tesco samoa]

Heimlich Demands Maneuver Royalties
CINCINNATI—Lawyers for Dr. Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, warned Monday that the doctor will sue anyone who performs his patented procedure without paying royalties. "The Heimlich maneuver is a registered trademark of my client," attorney Steve Greene said. "We are prepared to protect Mr. Heimlich's proprietary rights, even if it means filing a legal injunction against any non-royalty-paying choking victims."

[TerranC]

Originally posted by tesco samoa:
Heimlich Demands Maneuver Royalties
CINCINNATI—Lawyers for Dr. Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, warned Monday that the doctor will sue anyone who performs his patented procedure without paying royalties. "The Heimlich maneuver is a registered trademark of my client," attorney Steve Greene said. "We are prepared to protect Mr. Heimlich's proprietary rights, even if it means filing a legal injunction against any non-royalty-paying choking victims."<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Just don't choke.
Or, like what most people are doing nowadays, take the heimlich maneuver, readjust the hand positions *Slightly* and call it whatever maneuver. Since the hand position is different, and the resulting outcome is unknown, and *probably* differ from that of the original they can't sue you.

[ August 28, 2002, 18:49: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[Krakenup]

Originally posted by TerranC:
Just don't choke.
Or, like what most people are doing nowadays, take the heimlich maneuver, readjust the hand positions *Slightly* and call it whatever maneuver. Since the hand position is different, and the resulting outcome is unknown, and *probably* differ from that of the original they can't sue you.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Two friends were eating lunch in a restaurant when a young lady at an adjacent table began to choke on some food. One of the men jumped up, grabbed her, turned her upside down, pulled her pants down, and started to lick her butt. She coughed, sputtered, and thrashed around trying to get loose when the food that was choking her popped out. The man put her down and went back to his table. His friend said "I've never seen anything like that. What were you doing?" His friend replied "That heinie lick maneuver works every time."

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Krakenup:
"That heinie lick maneuver works every time."<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's a good joke man. I've heard it before though. But isn't it supposed to be "'Hind' lick"? "Heinie lick" just doesn't sound right. Oh well, it still gets the punch line across.

[Gryphin]

"Heimlich Demands Maneuver Royalties"
Has anyone verifyed this?
Looks like an "urban legend" in the making.

[Krakenup]

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Krakenup:
"That heinie lick maneuver works every time."<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's a good joke man. I've heard it before though. But isn't it supposed to be "'Hind' lick"? "Heinie lick" just doesn't sound right. Oh well, it still gets the punch line across.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">"Heinie" is a slang term for the butt, at least in my end of the world. It's also recognized by the New Collegiate Dictionary so that makes it official. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Ragnarok]

Oh I had no doubt that "Heinie" was an actual word or whatever. I was just saying "Hind" sounds better with that joke since it's called the "Heimlich". Thus "Hind Lick" sounds like you're actually saying "Heimlich".

[tesco samoa]

ONION

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz is trying to ignore the current conversation on a certain life-saving technique...

So Tesco, Did I head you order an Onion? What kind? Raw/sliced/diced/fried sliced/baked whole?
or my favorite way - as part of a lobster bake? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Is it my imagination or has this place gotten even weirder?
...No NOT POSSIABLE! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

RD, any relation between myself and those other taz's is purely a case of convergent evolution! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[ August 29, 2002, 03:07: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff gets up from his table and crosses the bar. He leans behind the counter and presses a discrete button.

A trapdoor in the ceiling opens and a mountain of onions fall out to completely bury Tesco Samoa.

He casually returns to his table and resumes his pint.

[Crazy_Dog]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
*Dogscoff gets up from his table and crosses the bar. He leans behind the counter and presses a discrete button.

A trapdoor in the ceiling opens and a mountain of onions fall out to completely bury Tesco Samoa.

He casually returns to his table and resumes his pint.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Crazy_Dog report to Dogscoff to don't forget to send the bill to Tesco because is a lot of onions http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Atrocities]

When was the Last time someone cleaned the mens room? My Gott People, that place is supporting life of a great many unknown creatures, germs, and bacteria. Hell at this rate, in about a week, one will need to bLast his way into the restoom, and pray that he does not get eaten by some unknown thing while releaving him self. And then they will have to look forward to the fight out.....

[ August 29, 2002, 10:56: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[Atrocities]

I found this while cleaning out old links.

I don't remember who wrote it, or where I got it.


WORF: Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead.

PICARD: On screen.

[The main viewing screen changes to a pattern of horizontal lines, each only a single pixel wide.]

PICARD: Data, what's wrong here?

DATA: Captain, the main viewscreen does not have sufficient video memory to display an image of this size. May I suggest that you select a lower resolution?

PICARD: Make it so.

[The screen blanks, and then an image appears, with big, blocky square pixels. Three objects appear in the center, which could be Romulan warbirds, but which actually look more like the aliens in Space Invaders.]

PICARD: Data, open a hailing channel to the Romulans.

DATA: Aye, sir.

[Data picks up an hourglass from the floor beside him, turns it over, and places it on the console in front of him. He punches some buttons on the console and sits motionless for several seconds. A flash of light blossoms from one of the Romulan ships on the viewscreen.]

WORF: Incoming plasma torpedo, Captain!

PICARD: Shields up!

DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your Last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command.

PICARD: What on earth do you mean? Data, this is *important*! I want those shields up *right now*.

DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your Last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command.

LAFORGE: Allow me, captain. [to Data] Control-alt-delete, Data.

[Data removes the hourglass from the console, and returns it to the floor.]

DATA: The Romulans are not responding to my hails. Press my nose to cancel and return to Windows. Pull my left ear to close this communications channel which is not responding. You will lose any information sent by the Romulans.

[LaForge pulls Data's left ear.]

PICARD: Shields...

[There is a tremendous explosion. The bridge shakes violently, and all the crew members are thrown to the floor. A shower of sparks erupts from Wesley Crusher's station at the helm, throwing Wesley back away from the console.]

PICARD: Up, Data!

DATA: Aye, sir.

RIKER: All decks, damage report!

WORF: Captain, Ensign Crusher is injured. He appears to be unconscious.

[Data picks up the hourglass again, places it on his console, and punches some more buttons. He waits a few seconds, then puts the hourglass back on the floor.]

DATA: Shields are now up, captain.

PICARD: And not a moment too soon. Worf, lock all phasers on the lead Romulan ship.

WORF: Aye, sir. [He punches buttons on the weapons console.]

PICARD: Mr. Data, take the helm, and prepare for evasive action.

DATA: I am sorry, sir, but I do not have the proper device driver installed for that console.

PICARD: Well, damn it, install the right one.

DATA: Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.

PICARD: Number One, where do we keep Data's setup implants?

RIKER: I left them with Geordi.

LAFORGE: [in a surprised voice] What!!? I thought you still had them!

PICARD: Data, don't you have device drivers stored in your internal memory?

DATA: Not found, sir. Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.

PICARD: Data, I don't *have* Setup Implant #1.

DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail?

PICARD: Abort!

DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail?

PICARD: Well, fail, then!

DATA: Current nose is no longer valid.

[Data walks over to the helm, and presses several buttons. The ship lurches, the images of the Romulan warships suddenly shift to one side of the viewscreen, and a high-pitched whining noise is heard coming from somewhere else in the ship.]

LAFORGE: [alarmed] Data, what the hell are you doing?

PICARD: Number One, do we have a customer service number for Data?

RIKER: Yes sir, but Last time I tried to call them, I got put on hold for two hours before I was able to talk to anyone. And that person wasn't knowledgeable about androids of Data's model. She specialized in industrial control robots.

[Suddenly, the lights all go out, the viewscreen goes blank, and all the usual noise of fans, motors, and so on whines to a halt. After a few seconds, the red emergency lights come on. Data is standing by the console, absolutely motionless.]

PICARD: What's going on?

LAFORGE: [checking the helm console] Lieutenant Data has caused a General Protection Violation in the warp engine core.

PICARD: These androids look really sharp, but you can't really do anything with them.

[The shimmer of the transporter effect appears, and six Romulans in full battle dress materialize on the bridge. A seventh figure, a Ferengi, appears moments later.]

FERENGI: [with a mercenary grin] Can I interest you in a Macintosh, Captain?

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

[Jmenschenfresser]

When was the Last time someone cleaned the mens room? My Gott People, that place is supporting life of a great many unknown creatures, germs, and bacteria. Hell at this rate, in about a week, one will need to bLast his way into the restoom, and pray that he does not get eaten by some unknown thing while releaving him self. And then they will have to look forward to the fight out..... <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Alright...damn. Some people complain about a few drops.

*Mensch walks into the bathroom and hangs up exactly 64 pine tree-shaped air fresheners.

Done and done.

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol, sssssh, ever since we started to attack those bill gates clones and slag off windows My pc won't startup unless i hold alt throughout its startup??? I knew those upgraded drivers weren't useful!!!

Hmmm taz is an evolved tazmanian devil.
*Brings Up his Encyclopedia Keyring*
The evolved tazmanian, only 1 in existance, has only 2 advanced qualities. To talk without bursting into "Yachety Smachkety" or the words taz says (not attempting to type that!), also has the ability to consume large quantities of alcohol while spinning round....

Ok i see, the Last part is vital to any species survival!

The restroom was great as it was!! You walk in, get attacked by Loo seat worshipping pygmies with toilet brushes, avoid large neptune flytraps which now have those tree air freshners hanging off their teeth. By the time you got to the cubicle (not with the one with a huge sewer snake like thing that shoots up the loo and sucks you down!) your so desperate to releave yourself, and if you suffer constapation well hey presto, your cured! Now thanks to Jmenschenfresser he has upset an ecosystem and will be plauged by the loo seat worshipping pygmies!!!"

Oh well, Taz get Jmenschenfresser Something strong of his choice on tiggas tab! I'm sure when he's intoxicated being attacked by loo brushes won't be that bad! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[dogscoff]

Lol!

[Trajan]

Trajan adroitly sidesteps a red vested Barry as he runs into the Cantina yelling it's FRIDAY!!! and this weekend is a 3-day weekend for those of us in the USA. WOOHOO. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Rushing the bar, Trajan jumps up and begins to tap-dance in joy at the prospect of three days without having to face his cowardly, micromanaging, Harvard educated CEO! The FBWs look at him as though he has flipped his gourd and then return to their work quielty pleasing the rest of the Cantina's customers.

Taz, May I have a yard of Bass Ale please....I have some serious drinking to do!

&lt;sniff sniff&gt; And where is that overwhelming Pine Scent coming from???? That is definatly not a natural odor for this fine drinking establishment. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers!
Trajan

[ August 30, 2002, 14:06: Message edited by: Trajan ]

[Jmenschenfresser]

The loo worshippers are a highly evolved form of life...far greater than you or I...possibly greater than the entire cantina combined.

I mean can you blame them for worshipping the loo, since they have proven through equations centuries beyond us that this loo is the exact center of the universe. They wait and conjure god.

We've been using the center of the universe as our septic tank. I'm fearing for my life right now. If they ever manage to get their god to appear from the depths...I'd imagine, he's going to be mighty wrathful.

BTW, they thought it stunk too.

[Timstone]

Whoa, those tree-shaped fresheners are great! They are called "Wunderbaum".
The one with the strawberry flavour, sorry... smell, is the most filthy one. It almost made me vomit in the car of a friend of mine, but the rest of those trees smell quite good.

[TerranC]

... ahh that german beer does wonders.

*Goes outside*
*Lifts the tarmac surrounding the pub*
*Bumps it all the way to the front of the spacestation*
*Goes back inside*

What?

[Timstone]

Ah, great! Who's going to clean that up?!
It most certainly won't be me.

[Taz-in-Space]

...Just great, I go back into the storeroom for a bit and when I come out I find:
-The Men's room is now a religious shrine with a fearsome pine scent. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif
-Trajan dancing on the bar. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif
-somebody managed (somehow) to shake the parking lot like a rug! (which has upset Barry's delicate digestion again http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif )
-and some weird robed guy's are chasing Jmenschenfresser around the cantina http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Well I'm not going to try to explain this to a certain furry striped owner. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
...Besides Dogscoff was in charge http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ...

[Raging Deadstar]

I never said the loo worshipping pygmies were unsuperior to us! Any species that can worship "the great white bowl" must be culturally advanced! Maybe, these pygmies actually gave us mere mortals the technology to actually be culturally superior and be hygenic, imagine a world if the Toilet hadn't been invented!

*shudders*

Of course as much as i'm in awe of the pygmies, i don't want to be in there when their great god emerges from the depths of the septic tank!! I think that we'll leave the possibillity of all sorts of fecal disasters to growltigga, afterall, he is the owner!

But note to taz, i would get rid of the air freshners, i think the ammount thats in their could poison the regulars! Of course if we want to have cultural debates on whats evolved in the many rooms of the cantina, whats happened in the basement, the ladies bathroom (i don't think we have many female customers so imagine how long its been since someone went in there!!!) or of course, that corner where geoschmo was getting *ahem* examined by the two ninjas! He hasn't been around much since http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Atrocities]

Say has any one here seen Gizmo? He is resembles a cat, but is an insidous flesh eating monster from another dimension. He is my pet, and I think he managed to escape from my ship Last time I was here. Don't be alarmed, he only eats those who fall asleep, are too drunken to walk, and those who smell like tuna.

Here is his picture, do not be fooled, he is a visous man eating little monster with a formiddable apitite.

Gizmo (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1030888165.JPG)

Oh yes, one Last thing, do NOT pet him. Trust me.

[ September 01, 2002, 14:51: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[Crazy_Dog]

For the ones from the Dogs area, that little cat is more like dessert http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Atrocities]

He is not a "cat." He is small man eating monster with sharp teeth and a nasty dispossion. Oh ya, he eats dogs, namely Great Dains, as apitizers. So ya, go pet him. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif :evil

[mac5732]

Mac strolls into the cantina after being away for awhile, as he canters over to his favorite table, he notices a strange furry creature in the far cornor, looks similiar to a cat, but more ferocious looking, hmm, it appears to be nibbling on poor ol Geo, who is slumped sleeping on the floor near the dart board. Hmm, did he ever grow another head, oh well, mac sits and reclines at his table, orders his usual breakfast from a FBW, when he is over come by a strange new odor emitting from, of all places, the inner sanctum of relief, now what he mumbles, he gets up walks towards the inner sactum, passing a dancing Trajan, and enters the room, where he is immediatly set upon by some form of pygmy type creatures with sticks in their hands and singing some strange dirge... Now what the H... is going on here, A man can't even enjoy peace in the inner sanctum anymore, as he backs out pushing the little creatures away from him as well as his senses being assaulted by some horendous over coming ordor, as he quickly makes his exit he notices what appears to be hundreds of odor freshners hanging from everywhere in the room, could these be what these little people/creatures are attracted to??, Mac exits, walks out behind the cantina, finds a large fire hydrant and proceeds to relieve the excess baggage that was pressuring his inner anatamy, ahahhhhhhhhh

just some ideas mac

[mac5732]

Gryphin, ck your email, let me know if it came out ok

mac

[dogscoff]

Any species that can worship "the great white bowl" must be culturally advanced!
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This confirms what we all knew all along: That beer is sacred. After all, every time I drink more than 10 pints I eventually find myself on my knees worshipping the Porcelain God (calling Huey on on the great white telephone, releasing a technicolour yawn, etc etc etc...)

[Puke]

feeling the urge, puke heads over to the lavatory for relief, only to come bounding out with a look of shock and horror upon him.

"What dastardly bastardry is this?!" puke demands, as he plunks down a quarter to rent a Prussian helmet and a Flammenwerfer. puke disappears back into the head, followed by the sounds of high pressure fluids being combusted and the short-lived screams of the loo-worshipers.

returning much relieved, yet facing the inquiries of the loo-worshiper-supporters, puke replies: "it was icky in there. and besides, religion isnt a topic of polite discussion in public. or anywhere else."

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol yep, i wonder what growltigga has in store for these pygmies? i mean poor old mac, at his age (or so i'm told http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ) getting such a struggle each time he needs to relieve himself, it could give him a heart attack, and gt won't be pleased with a regulars death!!! Also they're kinda under his possesion as he owns the cantina. Anyway he's a lawyer, i don't even think the advanced loo worshipping, toilet brush weilding, tree shaped air freshner attracted pygmies will even try to argue with a lawyer!

*Dream Sequence*

GT smiles prodly as he stands before a press conference and drops a huge curtain. After many hours of painstaking work he'd managed to train the pygmies to wear uniforms, take tips and use air freshners and now was marketing them as toilet maitenance workers, the newest household appliance!!!

*Dream Sequence Ends*

I can just see Growltigga walking into his "cantina office* and purring loudly as he swims around in his cash note filled swimming pool as more falls from the roof!

Ooooh Puke, as much as i don't believe in religion i do not think you have made a wise decision *points over pukes shoulder* The great god of the septic tank has arrived, with more, now slightly angry (and smelly!),pygmies!

*The scene where puke is attacked by the formentioned creatures cannot be described! Though be sure there was lots of fecal matter, loo brushes, toilet roll and godly powers involved*

Genocide is never a good thing as puke found out, well unless its on SEIV, then i guess its ok. I mean if they start war, then refuse to surrender what else can you do except attack them with troops???

[ September 02, 2002, 19:51: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz, flinching slightly as a nasty piece of somebody else's business goes flying past his head, decides that he will have to do something quick before things get out of hand. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Moving quickly he starts throwing Bill Gates clones into the melee, while signaling the FBW's to release the two cases of trained mongooses stashed behind the bar for emergencys.

The loo worshipers now sufficently distracted, he glances over to the so called 'Sewer God'.

Going into the well known 'pee-pee dance', Taz manages to get the attention of this Diety and enters into hasty negotiations...

... 3 cases of air fresheners, a lifetime supply of squeezable tissue paper, four brand new Flush-O-Matic 3000's (with optional auto-wipe attachment), and a gross of powered loo brushes later; said 'Sewer God' has withdrawn wence he came taking his worshipers with him. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

I suggest that until a more permanent solution is reached, the customers use the half-dozen Port-O-Potties being delivered just off the patio area! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Timstone]

All hail to negotiator Taz! He saved the cantina!!
But also hail to Puke, for he started the liberation of our toilet!

Now the toilets are out of order, can't I relief myself on the womens toilet? I have long hair and otherwise I must walk all the way to the patio.

[ September 03, 2002, 11:04: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[tesco samoa]

The website

[Timstone]

??
You're not making sense here...

[tesco samoa]

The Onion.

I am answering a question from about 3 days ago...

http://theyrule.orgo.org/

[Trajan]

Theyrule is very nifty! I wonder how long it took them to put it together.

Cheers!
Trajan

[Timstone]

Okay, it's time to go now. I've sat around long enough. Time to do some armsshipping and earn me some bucks.

*drinks up his Last bit of beer*
*Prepares to leave*
*searches pockets*

My keys, where are my keys?! I swear I put them in this jacket! Now I can't get my ship started again! Damn! I left them in my other jacket.
Ahhh, I will be stuck in this cantina forever!

*Takes a moment to relax*
*Takes a look around*
*Thinks*
*Steps on a table*

Ahum! Everybody, quiet, please! I have lost my spaceship keys and now I can't start the damn thing let alone board it. Could someone lend me a hand with opening my tin spacefaring can? Maybe a snipershot on the locking mechanism of my door?

[ September 04, 2002, 16:08: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[tesco samoa]

headlines

Woody Allen's Third Wife Born
First Place Cops Looked Was Inside AT-AT
Bishop Takes Queen
and onion in history...
http://www.theonion.com/onion3832/history_3832.html

[Gryphin]

Timstone
Maybe Barry can help you.

[Timstone]

Well, how does Barry look like and where can I find this good man?

[Trajan]

Tim,

Barry is the large-toothed, often red vested, once thought extinct, T-Rex parking attendant.

He is a very affable chap with a ravenous appetite. So keep any raw meat out of sight and scent.

Cheers!
Trajan

[mac5732]

Barry is partial to Bill Gates Clones as payment, however, you could also ask Dogscoff for some of his more stronger deep sea minions, they may be able to open it up, if none of that works, there's always those loo pygmyies, at least those that aren't splattered all over the inner sanctum http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif or there is the... Onion....

just some ideas mac

[Puke]

sorry, was that your onion? i just had it deep fried and battered. care for a slice?

[tesco samoa]

Ok who here owns a toque ???

Sliders Fan No Longer Has The Will To Send E-Mails To Producers

PORTLAND-- Eric Swenson has participated in several e-mail fan campaigns that successfully restored the now-cancelled science-fiction series "Sliders" to network televison.

However this time around, Eric has no desire to use the Internet to keep the show alive.

"I was really enthusiastic the first four or five times I helped save Sliders," said Eric, 24. "But now, I realize that the only reason I watched the later seasons was to see Maggie's (Kari Wuhrer's) breasts."

[mac5732]

My good Tesco, there is nothing wrong with someone who wants to research the anatamy of well endowed females that are shown on the Boob Tube. Science takes into account all things necessary to enhance the pleasures of life's roadways, therefore, if the youngster only watched the program to increase his knowledge of such wonderous sights, then by all means he should be allowed to enjoy any new episodes that appear, or forever be banished to watching re-runs.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Puke, I'll take a slice depending on if you used your special sauce or not http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas mac

[dogscoff]

you could also ask Dogscoff for some of his more stronger deep sea minions, they may be able to open it up,
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">*In response to the request, Dogscoff rises from his chair and produces a strange looking implement. He takes it into the toilets (He goes into the ladies to avoid all the mess in the gents) and flushes a few times before placing one end of the item into the water. He turns a handle on the side and it makes a wierd sort of klaxon noise which carries well through the water, all the way through the plumbing and sewerage to the sea.

Dogscoff returns to the bar, buys a beer and waits. After a few minutes, a distant rumbling noise is heard and as it gets closer, the sounds of alarms, sirens and screaming get louder and louder. Several office buildings on the other side of town are pulled down by giant tentacles as Ruraigh (Dermott's big brother) makes his way to the Cantina.

Upon reaching the parking area, Ruraigh picks up Timstone's vehicle like a toy and rips it in half, dropping the front section back in the parking space and hurling the other half some 3 or 4 miles, where it lands with a crunch and a scream.

At this point, the army's specialised "Sea Monster Urban Response Force" (SMURF) turn up to deal with the Ruraigh, who is fulfilling his contractual obligation as a 300 metre long squid to trash the dock areas in true Godzilla fashion every time he comes to town.

The battle rages on on the other side of town and half a SMURF tank smashes through the Cantina's window and lands next to the bar.

Dogscoff returns to his beer, glad to have done someone a favour.

[ September 05, 2002, 11:32: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Timstone]

Ehh... well what should I say? Thank you?
Damn, I just had it repainted.

P.S. Nice abbreviation. Haha... almost fell from my chair.

[dogscoff]

Ehh... well what should I say? Thank you?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You're quite welcome. I like to help out whenever I can.


Damn, I just had it repainted.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'm afraid genetically modified giant squid aren't well known for their delicacy. (They are very good at being a delicacy though, as poor Dermott demonstrated.)

I'll see if I can sort out some repairs for you. I know a cuttlefish who's dead handy with a arc-welder. First we'll have to arrange the retrieval of the rear half of your craft though, which mightn't be so easy. Anyone got any ideas?

*Dogscoff steps over a discarded SMURF trooper and peruses the menu. Hmmm... fresh calamari tonight.

[Saxon]

Sorry to interrupt the cartoon violence but, the Fluffy Bunnie Empire is having some problems. Any Galactic Bash people, particularly Tesco and Geo, my Last turn file was totally buggered up. I have posted the details in the game forum, but the short Version is that a bunch of the ships that were build do not appear. Please have a look and see if there is anything that can be done.

[Trajan]

Ducking as part of Tim's ship goes flying through the air, Trajan grabs some marinara sauce, and a small fork and prepares for the eventual squid frying that will occur.

---- Fried Squid in Marinara YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Anyone got a nice bottle of R'Bolla Gialla to go with the squid?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Trajan

[Timstone]

Hmm... an cuttlefish welder. That would help.
The ship I own(ed), well the two halves anyway, is quite a collectors item. I paid a lot of credits for it at the black market. Or shouldn't I have mentioned that?
Anyway any help with the recovery and repair of my once so beautifull craft would be greatly appreciated.
The person who brings the rear half of my ship back, will feast like a king. He (or she) will receive a kings meal. And yes, you can order what you like from the menu in this fine establishment.

Damn if this tearing apart of my ships will occur more often, I will personally go on a whale and squid hunt. And shout though language at my lakeys on my spaceship.

Shiver me timbers!
Arr, me maties!
I be searchin' for the all me life!

[ September 05, 2002, 15:43: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[tesco samoa]

Saxon did you run out of minerals...

Pehaps you could send the Last two turns to some one to look at... Or I could... You would have to supply them a password to access your empire...

Is someone willing to look at saxon's Last two turns to determine if something is afoot ??

[dogscoff]

Saxon - could it simply be that your Last turn wasn't processed (despite having been submitted) and the computer played it for you?

[tesco samoa]

maybe we can geo to look at it since his days as tigga are at a close ??

[Puke]

Here, Tim. You can have the keys to the Austin Couper that Tigga gave me to replace my dreadnaught that was lost in the Last bout of parking lot mayhem. I just modded some new wheels anyway.

(puke points up to the gargantuan glob of vomit illuminating the night sky, clearly visible through the skylight and from the patio.)

Battlemoon. All custom components. Dont even THINK about constructing one at a non-modded spaceyard.

[Timstone]

Wow! You would really do that for me?!
Oh, goodie goodie! Can it blow stuff up?
My late spaceship could blow up anything exept it's engines.

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff looks up at Puke's new Battlemoon.

"oooooh, nice. Want me one o' those."

Hey Puke, can I take a look around it? I promoise not to break anything, and I'll leave all my sea monsters at home.

[ September 05, 2002, 16:49: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Jmenschenfresser]

Speaking of which:

-----------------------------------------------
2417-Model Low Crusier, Q.E., All.Sub.,
2 PPB, 1 Q.Torp, Low light-yearage,
Shields good, Armor fair, little dings around
the space hatch from P&N run-in. Jet black,
genuine fluffy bunny fur on the dash. 5000 nego.
------------------------------------------------

[Raging Deadstar]

Heh the cantinas turning into a Ship dealership!!
In this case....

++++++++++++++++++++++++
1 Battle Cruiser, good light-yearage, high shilds, needs armor, few dents as it was my previous veichle, metallic blue tint, Armed with Quantum Torpedoes and Anti Proton Beams. Fluffy dice and nodding churchill dog come as standard as with ejection seats and self destruct drives
++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm open for offers http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
(Please note any living creature that attacks you either from the "inner sanctum" or the kitchen are covered under my terms and conditions)

Dogscoff, how does dermots mother feel? 2 of her sons turned into cantina food!!! Actually what happened to her, the chinese fish market just off bejing???

RD'S Terms And Conditions
I. Raging Deadstar cannot be held responsible for...
1.) Random acts of God, GrowlTigga or Dogscoff
2.) Any damage caused by pygmies, septic tank gods or barry...
3.) Dismemberment, Assimilation, Implosion or explosion...
4.) Any mistake between the ejector seat button and the self destruct...
5.) Any Damage caused by any reckless pilots (Puke)
Heh theres a lot more too http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Come to think about it, the ammount of cartoon violence and damage here in the cantina what liability has GT got??? Man is he covered against everything? then again he is a lawyer

[ September 05, 2002, 18:40: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

Off topic, I know, but I have to say this.

Blade II:
"Are you human?"
"Barely, I'm a lawyer."

[Puke]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
Hey Puke, can I take a look around it? I promoise not to break anything, and I'll leave all my sea monsters at home.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">sure, but you will get an error when bording if you dont load the pukemod first. and dont worry about dings, it has MAXINT damage reduction and MAXINT/30 regeneration. better safe than sorry, when parking over the cantina.

[TerranC]

Pfft.

Battlemoon, that is nothing.
5 Heavy Monitors can flatten that up.

Oh that reminds me, I'm opening a custom shipyard. If you order now, you get the religious talisman for FREE!

[Puke]

Super Monitors, bah. everything withers before a core-mounted "Sci-Fi Canon"

[Trajan]

Barry ate a FBW????

HOW HORRIBLE! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[dogscoff]

*Dofscoff springs from his chair and runs out of the bar. There he sees Barry, who has recently eaten one of the FBWs.

'Scoff politely asks Barry for his battlecruiser, and Barry brings it around for him, leaving the keys in the ignition and the engine running while Dogscoff Boards and takes control. He powers down the engine and charges the weapons systems.

Barry begins to back off nervously, and Dogscoff swithces on the ship's external PA system. "Cartoon violence against any other occupant of the Cantina is acceptable, but the FBWs are *UNTOUCHABLE*."

He quickly accesses data on T-rex physiology, in particular details of skin thickness and the layout of the digestive tract. He hands this data over to the ship's computer, which then sets the weapons' power levels to a level which will slice Barry open from groin to gullet without damaging the contents of his stomach. The weapon fires and barry's guts spill out onto the floor, depositting a rather soggy FBW, alive and in one piece. (Luckily Barry rarely remembers to chew when he's upset.)

With that Dogscoff dismounts from his craft and escorts the grateful but smelly FBW back inside, where she is sympathetically received by the other patrons.

Barry meanwhile is left to pick up his innards and find someone willing to sew him back up.

[Trajan]

Having viewed the horror of Barry eating a FBW, then Dog's rush to her rescue by slicing open Barry's abdomen and extricating the lovely FBW, Trajan steps forward with a coal shovel and begins to scoop up Barry's intestines. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Shovel-full by shovel-full Trajan manages to get Barry's guts back where they belong. Next, using a pop-rivet gun and some green duct tape, Trajan closes Barrys abdomin back up and re-adjusts his Red parking attendant vest so that nobody notices the recent incision. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Barry thanks Trajan for the help, belches, then runs off to his valet post, whimpering in pain and sadness at having been recently gutted like a fish. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[ September 06, 2002, 16:39: Message edited by: Trajan ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Raginng Deadstar tows his Light Cruiser out of parking lot, walks over to the Jraenar who signs the contract, unfortuantly puts a dent in another persons ship with its tail and mumbles as it climbs on board and flies off, leaving Raging Deadstar to notice barry and his makeshift repairs! Feeling a pang of sympathy for the loyal parking valet Rd drags a bag of bill gates clones, along with a few George bush Versions and deposits them next to barry, whilst getting out some medical equipment. A FBW wanders up and looks rather worried, RD flashes a medical degree and she wanders off, thank god you can buythose degrees....

After many hours of work, Barry stands up, now complete with Cybernetic implants in his eyes to scan potential criminals or salesmen, armour plated skin under his coat and now a metal collar, which when barry goes to attack staff or regulars a clone of barry's choice will emerge from an outhouse to distract him. Raging Deadstar is thanked by a professional singing dinosaur, an accomplishment that will surely be listed as an achievement on his emperor application cv.

Heads into cantina, smiles at taz and gives him the latest free smaples (about 5 kegs) of the new drink RD's been brewing. Walks out with a keg of anything thathe could find, any drink in the cantina must be good, heads outside and sits down next to a whimpering barry and yet again feels sorry him begins to pet his head while giving him alcohol.

"Just cos dogscoff blew you up dosen't mean he hates you, i mean i have that feeling that he's about to bash me with a large hammer half the time! He hates us all equally" And so begins a night of discussion about beer, fbw's, female dinosaurs (though i made sure he didn't go to deep into that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ) and dogscoffs favourite cartoon violence scenes. Which eneded with barry singing a great performance, well great considering he had his intestines blow out! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[dumbluck]

dumbluck stares out of the taxi window as it passes by the Cantina. There, sitting in the parking lot amidst several dozen other ships of every imaginable shape, all bearing "For Sale" signs, sits his personal Light Cruiser. Every day he curses himself for abandoning it there in his paniced flight. But now, all seems quiet once again. It is time to attempt to retrieve that which was left behind.

dumbluck orders the cab to stop by the side of the road, pays his toll, and exits the small escort class vessel. With a sputter from its antique, first generation Ion Engines, the taxi rattles off into the night. dumbluck turns to the task at hand: how to retrieve his spacecraft from the confines of the Cantina without losing what is left of his wits in the process. Again, dumbluck chooses to rely on stealth.

As he creeps thru the gate into the outskirts of the lot, not much cover presents itself. On his Last visit, this did not present a problem, for the large dinosaur had been sleeping. Unfortunately for dumbluck, that is not the case tonight. Just as he reaches the first cluster of vehicles (all of which seem to be for sale), dumbluck is pLastered with a blinding spotlight. At the same time, an automated voice begins it's sales pitch.

"Greetings, patron. As you can see, this sleek and stylish Battlecruiser comes equiped with the latest in Quantum Torpedo firepower...."

Of coarse, all this commotion instantly catches the dinosaur's attention, and just one sniff with it highly evolved sense of smell tells it that a stranger is about. Since even in a dinosaur's primative mind 1 + 1 = 2, the dinosaur advances with great rapidity (relative to our diminuative hero) on dumbluck's position.

dumbluck quickly moves off to hide behind another vessel, this one a dreadnought. But as he approaches it, the dreadnought initiates it's own automated sales pitch. As this occurs again and again, it allows the dinosaur to easily track dumbluck's movements. Soon, all semblence of stealth is abandoned as the cat and mouse movements quickly turn in the cat's (or in this case, the dinosaur's) favor.

But all is not lost, for our intrepid hero still has one key advantage: brainpower. And so by carefully choosing his route, dumbluck manages to stay ahead of the dinosaur, although not by much. Finally, dumbluck reaches his LC, much out of breath and pumped full of adrenaline. Just as he begins to punch in the entryway access code, the dinosaur finally catches sight of him. With a roar, it charges.

Fortunately, dumbluck left an emergency automated liftoff command series in the flight computer, and he makes good use of it this day. Before the dinosaur has taken 10 steps (which is a considerable distance, nonetheless), the LC is airborn and out of reach. As dumbluck slips into the command seat and brings the controls to manual flight, a Fluffy Bunny opens the door to the cantina in order to see what all the commotion is about. Seeing this, the dinosaur eases it's fuming frustrations with a light snack.

[ September 06, 2002, 12:59: Message edited by: dumbluck ]

[Ragnarok]

Ragnarok pulls up in his new Cruiser Attack ship and jumps out then starts to walk into the Cantina. But just before he opens the door he spots barry sitting over in the parking lot corner looking all depressed and lonely playing with his buttons on his jacket and also pondering his new injurys that he just received. Ragnarok feel sorry for the big lug and walks over to him and says "Hey Barry, how's it goin? You look like you've had a rough couple days. It also looks like you need a vacation from it all. What do you say big guy?" Barry just rolls his eyes up to meet ragnaroks eyes and shrugs his shoulders (does he have any?) Ragnarok then hands him 200,000 minerals and a plain ticket to his choice spot, then says: "You've been doing this valet stuff for how long now? And have you ever received a vacation? Well here you go pal, take this stuff and take a couple days off. those minerals should Last you at least a couple days. Wait... I think I got something else in my ship...hole on"... Ragnarok jumps back in his ship and starts going through the glove compartment. "Ah ha!" he says; "found it"... he then walks back to barry and hands him a one night pass to a T-ReXXX bar upstate. "Here, enjoy this big guy, and have a good time." barry looks back at ragnarok and just gives him a smile and a smerk that ragnarok will never forget. Ragnarok then walks into the Cantina with a big smile on his face knowing he just did a good deed. He orders a couple beers then gets in his ship and takes off at ludicris speeds...

[Raging Deadstar]

aaaaaaah we care so much for ol' barry. We better watch him, we seriously don't need an over excessive population of singing dinosaurs!

Raging Deadstar Walks back in, avoids dogscoff mainly because he's sitting there stroking a cricket bat on his lap likesome evil director. RD thinks "I'll let some else be the hero today".

Decides to have a look around the cantina and heads into the games room.

*Moments later RD runs out*
Thats the Last time i go in there, air hockey between regulars is lethal, no wonder geoschmo lost his head so often!!!!!

Quietly sits down, activates his hologram pc and begins creating his latest company dreadnought, hmmm stealth armour for business deals? i don't see why not! and maybe a few torpedoes, ooooooooh and a few point defenses to take out salesmen with useless contrcts

Suddenly RD Has a very bad thought

"HANG ON!!!! WHATS RAGNAORK DOING WITH A PASS TO A DINOSAUR POLE DANCING JOINT????"

RD then remembers what too much alcohol can to do to people, or friends when u've drank too much http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ September 07, 2002, 10:54: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

Yes I had that pass from having too much alcohol one night and my friends gave it to me and a gag. They said that's the only kind of woman I'll ever be able to get. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif But I thought Barry would use it before I would. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[dogscoff]

Hey... from the way you lot talk anyone would think I was some kind of violent psychopath bent on creatively mutilating anyone who gives me half an excuse.

Is that what you all think? Really? I'd be really hurt if it was. And when I get hurt...

*Dogscoff produces a can of experimental cellular disassembly nano-bots, and everyone gets nervous as he plays with the ringpull.

[ September 09, 2002, 13:40: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Hmmm.. I am pleased to note that whilst I am away, Dogscoff takes up my mantle as originator-in-chief of all unprovoked, pyschopathic, unnecessary violence in the cantina.

Keep up the good work Scoffo.

[dogscoff]

Hey! Welcome back. Do you need an update on what's been going on, or are just going to spend 1/2 and hour reading all the old Posts..?

[Growltigga]

Scoffo, an update will be good. I have just arrived back in the office to find, get ready for this, that I am being shipped out to Kuala Lumpur for 2 weeks on a review contract.

I just left there yesterday morning

AAAAAAHHHHHH

[dogscoff]

Hmm, maybe Dumbluck would benefit from a brain transplant. I'm sure we could find some willing donors around here.

Worst comes to worst I could always have one of my undersea minions sacrificed and their brain given over to the cause.

[Timstone]

And you think that would better the situation?!

Oh, and the person who lost his keys to his collectors-item-spaceship was me. Now I have to buy another ship as a replacement. A good ship is hard to fing these days. Has someone got a nice ship. Preferably with fluffy dice on the back mirror.

[Growltigga]

Dogscoff, if you are talking about dumbluck, dont you mean a brain implant?

Right, so over the Last 2 weeks, nothing out of order or unusual has happened (I liked the giant squid and the SMURF tank episode and as for the bottom humour!!!)

My Last couple of weeks has been a hedonistic paradise of sultry palm girded beaches, gin & tonic, bikini clad beauties, more gin & tonic, excellent cuisine, booze, great accomodation, more booze, no americans, gin & tonic, orang utangs, bacardi & coke, gibbons and civet cats, cocktails with umbrellas and bits of pineapple stuck to the side, watersports, proboscis monkeys, lots of Tiger beer etc

I am just SO glad to be back at work

[dogscoff]

Oh, and the person who lost his keys to his collectors-item-spaceship was me. Now I have to buy another ship as a replacement. A good ship is hard to fing these days. Has someone got a nice ship. Preferably with fluffy dice on the back mirror.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">*dogscoff flips the keys to his own cruiser to Timstone.

In light of the massive galaxy-wide success of Kick-o-matic Bill Gates autocloners (and the predicted sales figues of the planned George Bush Clones, Jean Marie le Pen clones and so on) I have been awarded a massive bonus by Tigg-Scoff plc. Having bought my company cruiser outright, I can afford to give it to Timstone with cash left over for a little something I've had my eye on ever since I Last spoke to Puke:

http://www.sandman43.fsnet.co.uk/images/viking/Vikings_Portrait_WorldShip.gif

My very own battlemoon. Put down a hefty deposit and got the rest on credit. It's over 3000km in diameter and it has it's own subterranean ocean & laboratory for me to breed new strains of giant sea monsters, a 5000 cubic kilometre core-mount brewery (the continent-sized horns are all beer storage) a huge array of hideous weaponry (of course) and various other little luxuries, including a personal accomodation suite the size of Brazil and an adjoining area as big as Chile with temples, bars and other attractions designed to attract wandering Valkyries.

Oh, and you should hear the stereo...

Incidentally, the monkey has also been given a hefty bonus for his participation in the Gates autoclone trials, and apparently plans to buy something a little extravagant of his own. Probably involving peanuts.

[ September 09, 2002, 15:10: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga, as proprietor maximus of the cantina, and as CEO emeritus of Tigg-Scoff PLC, hereby awards his faithful and productive minion Dogscoff with a hefty bonus but reminds said menial that senior middle management IS NOT entitled to Battlemoon class vessels., whether in a work related or private capacity

Only senior management is allowed to operate anything larger than a battleship.

By the way, I have just developed a new olympic sport of swingball to be used for the Bill Gates/George Bush and Eminem clones, the difference being that the eLastic for the swingball (which is actually a chainsaw) is one of Dermot's tentacles!!

[ September 09, 2002, 16:11: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[mac5732]

Welcome back GT, I see your excursion into headhunter country was most fruitful and involved numerous chances to imbib upon the local populous beverages. I hope the beach bunnies you mentioned in those small, tight, uniforms were not the type that were hanging from one of the locals head poles http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Indeed Dogscoff behaved quite decently in regards to upholding your tradition of mayhem and cartoon violence within the cantina along with the other members, The pygmies were most intrusive within the inner sanctum but they were dispatched most pleasantly within the confines of said location, Taz had to hire some outside cleaning companies to cleanse the walls, floor and ceiling of their left behind debris after their demise, Now if only those hanging freshners could be equally addressed, the inner sanctum will once again be the place where one can enjoy the solitude of righeous contemplation while engrossed upon the duties of ones anatamy..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

PSS(ssshhhh, Like El Scof said, do not, I say again, do not in any way mention ("THE ONION")

just some ideas Mac

[ September 09, 2002, 18:13: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[DirectorTsaarx]

Just to inject some UNIX humour and current events into the Cantina:

Seen on a T-Shirt in Washington, DC:

"rm -r /bin/laden"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled cartoon violence...

[Puke]

you may purchase such a shirt, and other geek paraphanalia, at www.thinkgeek.com (http://www.thinkgeek.com)

[dogscoff]

Ummm... update. Tell me if I miss anything ppl...

We have updated the auto clone killer to (mostly http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ) ignore the new Tigg-scoff stress relief product, which is a Bill Gates clone-o-matic in the corner, near the door. It automatically replaces the tethered Gates clone which can be violently assaulted for a small fee. (about 5 minerals per hour, I think.) This feature is staffed by a trained monkey who takes fees and tethers replacement clones as they arrive.

Another new installation is a mini resource converter change machine in the corner, which will take any organics or radioactives (for example a dismembered gates clone, T-Rex poo or Cajun fried tribble wings) and turn them into minerals. For a conVersion fee, of course.

There was a little trouble in the gents toilets when someone installed a few hundred pine scented thingies. The resident pygmy worshippers of the Porcelain God got upset, and eventually had to be brutally massacred. These things happen. The Fecal deity himself made an appearance but was soon bought off.

Everyone's trying to sell their ship at the moment for some reason, except Puke who just bought a vomit- themed battlemoon.

Oh yeah, and I summoned a 300 metre long giant squid (Dermott's big brother) to help out when someone locked themsleves out of their cruiser. After opening the cruiser the only way he knew how and then destroying half the city in the obligatory Godzilla-style rampage, Ruraigh was reunited with his brother courtesy of the city's elite Sea Monster Urban Response Force (SMURF).

Finally, Barry committed the ultimate no-no and ate (ie ingested http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif ) a FBW. A little inpromtu laser surgery sorted that little situation out, and now Barry and the FBW are both recovering nicely. Barry's especially happy now that he has a ticket to get into the T-ReXXX dino strip club upstate.

Oh, also: Atrocities has lost a cute cuddly razor sharp man eating psycho-kitten somewhere in the Cantina, and whatever you do, don't mention The Onion.

*A trap door in the ceiling opens above Dogscoff's head and he is inexplicably buried by falling onions...

[ September 09, 2002, 12:32: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Puke:
you may purchase such a shirt, and other geek paraphanalia, at www.thinkgeek.com (http://www.thinkgeek.com)<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well we can see where Puke spends his time.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif just joshin ya man..

[TerranC]

what's so wrong with the ONION?

If you live where there is a chili's near you, you ever try one of those desert flower ONION appetizers?

I thought some people used ONION to get substances out of their eyes.

It's hard to imagine an ONION-prejudiced world, but here you all are, sterotyping ONIONs because of a stupid satirical faux-paper called the ONION.

Yeesh, what a bunch of ONIONs.

[Puke]

after the trapdoor in the ceiling opens, burying TerranC under a delugh of [noun censored], pukes conscripted army of miniturized FBW clones parades out and hauls TerranC off like Gulliver being tormented by the lilliputians.

Shortly later, a beer-battered, deep-fried, flayed, "TerranC Blossom" is brought fourth from the kitchen. The TCB blinks inexplicably, and the local [noun censored] conisoures all help themselves to a slice.

"hmmm, too gammey. probably hasnt been hung long enough" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[dumbluck]

Through the muffled sounds from up above of much thrashing and knashing of teeth, one can just make out the insane gibberish of dumbluck's irreconcilably twisted mentality. And if one listens carefully, and pays close attention, small bits of actual words, sometimes even phrases, can be made out. Among them:

"Dinosaur..."
"Got my cruiser back..."
"Pretty, talking bunnies..."
"Big Gun..."
"Got my cruiser back..."
"Bang, Bang!..."

If inquiries are made, the FBWs will just shake their heads saddly and mumble something along the lines of, "We had to lock him up in the attic. Poor guy, must be all the stress of running an empire by yourself..."

[tesco samoa]

TIMMY

[Gryphin]

Hmm, smells funny in here,
GrowlTigga must be back. Probalby stepped in something out there while playing with his counsings the Oraangatangs.

[TerranC]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
counsings the Oraangatangs.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What are those?

And I like to have my eyebrows back, s.v.p.

[Ragnarok]

Ragnarok walks into the cantina and see thats Terran C has already sprung the trap door for saying onions.. So he wonders around, looks around the room, the runs around like a maniac yelling "ONION ONION ONION ONION!!!" Before the trap door resets again. Glad that he accomplished this he walks past a couple booths and says a final time... "Onion!" then a trap door opens above him and covers him in none other then onions... he gets up wondering how he didn't know about the 2ND trap door that was set up.

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Puke:
"hmmm, too gammey. probably hasnt been hung long enough" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Possibly correct but please can we not have any jokes about TerranC being "well hung"

BTW, TerranC, I didn't use babelfish for my foreign lingo, I just speak them very badly. Th funny thing is the translations you got from babelfish are off enough to be quite amusing

Finally, given the cantina's new predilection for cascading dangerous amounts of fruit and vegetables on the heads of people specifying a particular phylum or sub-genus of said flora, can I please remind everyone that on no account should the words 'SHALLOT', 'MANGOSTEEN', 'RAMBUTAN', 'DURIAN', 'COURGETTE', 'KOLRABI' or 'GOLDEN DELICIOUS' be used in the cantina, I do not want the dancefloor looking like a tropical fruit salad.

Gryphin, in honour of my trip to Borneo, you will be happy to hear that I have hired about 20 orang-utangs as catering staff.

..and yes, orang-utang "poo" really does smell bad

[ September 10, 2002, 08:56: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[dogscoff]

Hmm, everytime someone says "Onion", they get showered in onions.

Beer!

*Dogscoff looks up hopefully.

Naked Women!

...nothing. Damn. Must only work for onions.

*Realising he's just said the "O" word 3 times, dogscoff hastily puts up his anti-vegetable steel umbrella. A trapdoor opens beneath his feet and drops him into a huge pit of onions. The umbrella falls down after him and lands, Wil-E-Coyote style, on his dazed head.

[ September 10, 2002, 09:18: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Growltigga is sitting in his palatial office, happily running through the latest quarter-end accounts for Tigg-Scoff PLC which, naturally, are showing a healthy increase.

"Damn" thinks the mighty cat, "those Americans can really drink alot of this carbonated piss we send over there and beating up Bill Gates clones has become THE bar-sport for techno-nerds everywhere"

Growltigga continues to look through the post and comes across an envelope marked "Phase Distortion Plane Shifting Device - Free Trial". Reading through the bumff, GT discovers that by way of a week long free trial, a phase distortion plane shift device has been activated in the cantina, with the effect that 'things' get moved randomly around. Growltigga is sitting there pondering on the infinite and the potential comic mayhem that such a device could cause when suddenly, out of the office ceiling, a rain of decent british beer falls upon the cat's head, closely followed by a bevy of naked FBW's. Growltigga grins and thinks 'hmmm, beer covered totty on tap, it just doesn't get as good as this (even better than Geo's tied up with Lucy Lui and a tub of crunchy peanut butter fantasy).

The curtain drops and all that can be heard are slurping sounds, hiccups, giggles and a trumpet going 'mwa mwa mwa mwaaaaaaaa'

[Perrin]

Originally posted by Timstone:
Don't you all watch cartoons?! Well not enough anyway.
I don't remember wich cartoon it was, but it was always: "We're gonna need another Timmy!"
When they said that, Timmy died, just like Kenny dies in every SP episode.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Actually I believe that was Dinosaurs. Not really a cartoon. More of a Muppet type deal with people running around in foam Dino suits. But it was a hilarious series. I especially liked Potatoism.

[Timstone]

Oh yeah, now I remember! Thanks for eluminating my memory.

[geoschmo]

Not the Mama!

[Growltigga]

hmmm.. please move this strange and disturbing reminiscence to another thread. That sort of talk is Banned in the cantina

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar pulls up and notices a tiger striped battlemoon floating above the cantina. Quickly Runs in and see's that GT's back, finally i don't have to worry about dogscoff blowing up barry! And his range of comedy violence! Phew...
*dogscoff smashes a cricket bat on RD's head*

Raging Deadstar recovers and looks around! NOOOO Tomorrow is gonna be 11th september, that means everyone will be all dull and upset! I mean just cos its MY BIRTHDAY tomorrow! (Note: i'm being serious for once!) Many thoughts wander in through Raging Deadstars semi concious head.

1. Was it wise mentioning my birthday here??? Why do i feel scared by the ammount of comedy violence that i will be inflicted with!

2. How come I never got any money out of my clones???? I swear dogscoff ripped me off! I WANT LOYALTIES Lol, i would sue him but tigga's a lawyer, oh well maybe i can get a free tab or something.

Congratulates Taz on his break and gives him the latest shipment of prototype drinks to consume, all that can be heard is a Large Transporter backing up "Beeeeeep, Beeeeeeep, Beeeeeep" RD gives Taz the keys and wishes him good luck on his break, he'll enjoy it as every cargo space is topped up with alcohol

Raging Deadstar walks back in and slowly but surely sneaks up to the GHB and begins to rewire it.
"Hmm red to blue, yellow to green, whats this??? Safety protocal??? who needs this?...."
Shuts the box, notcing that everyone is waiting to see the results. I so feel sorry for the next fool to walk in.....

Hmm looks at his todo list. Maybe become Tigga Scoff PLC's supplier, i need some one to market my new Version of the GHB, i gave the cantina a prototype! Deadstar Industries business has been slow http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Anyway, i have William Shakespere clones (for those who hate english) and a new clone a boss kit, for employees who really want to beat up their superiors! I'm sure these'll be huge sellers

[ September 10, 2002, 18:48: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Gryphin]

Hm, GT has lost his ability to read my misspellings. “counsings the Oraangatangs” Should be “cousins the Orangutans”
Just wonder what you stepped in while playing with your cousins.

[Taz-in-Space]

a rain of decent british beer falls upon the cat's head, closely followed by a bevy of naked FBW's. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ummm Boss, Wouldn't that be 'Totty covered Beer'?
Glad to see your enjoying yourself! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Tesco, I may regret this but what about TIMMY? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

[nippy the magical duck]

beer covered totty? I like it here

[ September 10, 2002, 12:19: Message edited by: nippy the magical duck ]

[Growltigga]

Taz, you are dead right there, you better help me as my office is awash with beer covered blart, come up, there is enough for everyone but bring your own snorkel.

As you have done such a sterling job since I went away, and because you are my favourite antipodean furry homocidal maniac (other than Skipster the rapid maneating bush kangaroo), please have a large bonus and take a break

What is TIMMY?

[Timstone]

Don't you all watch cartoons?! Well not enough anyway.
I don't remember wich cartoon it was, but it was always: "We're gonna need another Timmy!"
When they said that, Timmy died, just like Kenny dies in every SP episode.

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, saw the misspelling but felt too ashamed on your behalf to mention it. Whatever I stepped in whilst watching orang utangs, macaques, proboscis monkeys and gibbons didn't look as silly as you.

Raging Deadstar, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR RD, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.....

Growltigga pushes the special red button kept behind the bar for just such circumstances, a steel mesh net falls down from the ceiling on RD, as he struggles under the net, a taser is shot into his happy sacks and 10,000 volts put through it to, ahem, subdue him, the net is hauled up into and through the ceiling of the cantina by a very large hoist operated by Barry. Barry then sets the crane on fast-rotate mode and watches in glee as RD spins round and round and round on the end of the cable randomly hitting any mountains, walls, buildings or obstructions in the way.

That is what is called the bumps in England.

When RD is let loose and is quietly vomiting on the ground, all the regulars of the cantina are given a hard wooden or metal implement of their choice and are allowed to whallop RD in the wobbely dangely bits for half and hour

Finally, bruised, battered but strangely happy, RD is given a large cake, as he blows out the candles, a large Tiger springs out of it and bites him very hard on the bottom before running off.

"Ah" thinks GT, "I wondered where cousin Maurice got to"

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff asks three of the FBWs to "give Raging Deadstar a birthday he'll neever forget." They immediately strip down to their lingerie and advance upon him, one carrying a set of handcuffs and a cattle prod, another holds a greased ferret while the third carries a box of over-ripe mangoes and a bicycle pump. They take RD into one of the Cantina's corner booths where the girls carry out Dogscoff's instructions to the letter.

[ September 11, 2002, 09:55: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Hmmmm.. its my birthday next week and I quite fancy the idea of that Dogscoff..

Can I bring my own, ahem, rubber, ballbearings, swarmfega, marmite and labrador called Purdey?

[mac5732]

Happy Birthday to you.... Happy Birthday to Fyron, RD and Sachmo.... Taz please give them all the usual Birthday Brews, (on Tigga's Tab of course),

Also Taz, please see about the purchase of a set of crutches, wheelchair, or other type of convayance for the OLD Tigga come next week, the poor old furry feline apparantly has aged and he needs help moving around, and at his age he would probably fall into some GNU POO or OCEAN FRESH DROPPINGS, if left without something to hold up his tired OLD anatamy, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas Mac

[dogscoff]

GT, is it really your birthday next week? Mine's the 16th.

[mac5732]

Sorry there Dogscoff, Happy early birthday as well, Taz, add Dogscoff to the birthday concoction, (on Tiggas Tab), also see if the FBW would like to do that birthday dance ritual for these aging members http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ... on the dance floor that is.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas mac

[Growltigga]

Dogscoff, yep, my birthday is next Wednesday, 18th September, a famous day throughout the galaxy - it is actually National Hop Up & Down Day in England, the day that Jimi Hendrix died (that is why I am a reincarnation of him) and also the day that most girls (ie the ones who arn't ugly or nasty or disgusating in any way) sweat!

Virgo's are the best, Virgo's are cool, despite the fact that you spend your whole life realising that a September birthdate simply means your dad got lucky withmum round christmas time

Mac, have you been sniffing your colostomy bag again? you have gone weirder than usual

[ September 11, 2002, 14:57: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[dogscoff]

despite the fact that you spend your whole life realising that a September birthdate simply means your dad got lucky withmum round christmas time
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Lol! I know. When I was a stroppy teenager I wanted to change my name to "Happy New Year 1976" just to piss off my parents.

[Growltigga]

[/QUOTE]Lol! I know. When I was a stroppy teenager I wanted to change my name to "Happy New Year 1976" just to piss off my parents.[/QB][/QUOTE]

Yeah, I thought about that as well but decided changing my name to "Hee hee give her another pint of cinzano and its "hide Jeremy Beadle's head in a bucket" on Christmas Eve 1968' was too much of a cross to bear for a young man..

Think about it, can you remember all the drunken Christmas parties you have been to where you photocopy pictures of your bottom, insult your boss and then go out drinking all night, to come home and pounce on your other half?? isn't it scary to think that a Dogscoff or a Growltigga could spring from such wanton lustful abandon..

probably explains a lot actually

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff begins making plans for a grand joint-birthday party for Tigg-scoff's two most senior excutives, to be held on the 17th September. Rather than mess around with the cantina, a new venue is being built 'specially for the occasion. The party will feature (among other, yet to be announced attractions):

- 15000 capacity venue, with a fully stocked bar and octopus barman in the centre of each table.
- Kitchens capable of providing exotic foods for everyone. Everything from Tribble fritters to Wookieburgers.
- 50 foot tall rotating statue of a nude Kylie Minogue which lactates champagne.
- On the day the first annual FBW tag wrestling championships will be held, refereed by girls from Madame Ooloo's.
- Giant honey-filled pit for the wrestling.
- Retractable diving board above the pit for the guests of honour.
- Bill Gates clone creative torture competition, with a year's free drinks at the Cantina for the winner.
- VR headsets for those without ringside seats to the FBW wrestling or torture competition.
- Doris the Immasculator will actually be wearing a dress (rather than a kevlar corset). However she's asked me to point out that anyone caught laughing or even looking too closely is likely to go home soprano.
- Sinead the Giant Squid (Cousin to Dermott & Ruraigh) will be tranquilised in a field for use as a bouncy castle/ climbing apparatus to entertain the kiddies.

Everyone's invited - even Barry, so go out now and get your tuxedos dry-cleaned. It's gonna be one hell of a party. Just look for the new thread next Tuesday and say Dogscoff sent you.

[ September 11, 2002, 16:09: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

sounds great Dogscoff but you missed the 2,000 Miss World candidates parachuting naked (but with cute little tiger tails and tiger ears on) out of the tiger-stripe painted hercules onto the statue of Kylie Minogue whilst each holding a bottle of Tiger beer

[Timstone]

The tiger is on the verge of extinction. I hope you will be the Last to be shot, you have some great ideas!

[Growltigga]

Thanks Timstone, yes, the tiger is on the verge of extinction and I think it is the duty of all human beings to help in this as they are mainly reponsible for the tigers' plight

The world clearly needs more tigers. The tiger breed needs to be preserved at all costs.

To this end, I would suggest that all human females (not being ugly, disgusting or weird ones) should come round to my house and assist in prolonging the tiger genus. All you have to do is sleep with me, after all, there is nothing wrong getting a bit of tigga in you is there and you are likely to enjoy it.

AWOOGA AWOOGA

[TerranC]

GT, you are a lawyer, correct?

don't they get their license or something revoked for sexual harrasment?

Btw, RD, happy birthday! May all your wishes and onion cravings come true.

[tesco samoa]

The age limit outside says 18.... for the patio...

I think the bar tab should be on fyron for the next month http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Happy birthday my friend....

And I did raise a glass of guiness for you tonight..

[Fyron]

Uhh... thanks...

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by TerranC:
don't they get their license or something revoked for sexual harrasment?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No and anyhow, I am not harassing anyone, just asking for a little cooperation from the female members of the race that is responsible for killing most of my kinfolk

[Timstone]

Wait here, stop the presses! GT you said the only thing they had to do was SLEEP with you. Sleeping with someone doesn't make you pregnant, now does it?!
You need to have intercourse. That's right children, intercousre. Sex, for the more mature readers among us.
So GT we can send all the beautyfull women on the face of the Earth over to your house, coz you ain't gonna do anything with them. The only thing I don't understand is, how do you plan to save the tiger by only sleeping with beautyfull women? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Timstone:
Wait here, stop the presses! GT you said the only thing they had to do was SLEEP with you. Sleeping with someone doesn't make you pregnant, now does it?!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Timstone, you are a silly sod and that is no mistake. Keeping in mind the youthfulness of quite a lot of the posters on this forum (not all of us are middle aged jaded rockers), I chose to use the polite reference for making the beast with two backs. I suppose I could have said that the beautiful ladies should come round and make love to me but what I wanted to avoid was any potential reference to said blart coming round and getting a good seeing to, rogering, poking, bonking or any other sordid colloquial expression.

Come of us are gentlemen and do have class you know http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

Yeah, I know. It was just a figure of speech. I just thought I could give it a nice twist to it.

You all are gentleman's?! You have a bar and in that bar there is almost a constant war among the people in the bar and it's inhabitants (although some of the visitors could just as well be inhabitants). I hard call all that fighting the gentleman's aproach. No, if you all were gentleman's, then you would have a pretty lame bar.

[Growltigga]

Hmmm.. I would beg to disagree with you there. The Cantina is run on the same lines as any gentlemens' club. What you are describing as fighting and violence, is simply youthful recklessness and boisterousness, nothing wrong in that and it is completely acceptable in the best society.

I would ask you to look at the way we treat the fairer sex in the cantina. The FBWs are idolised and adored, are treated with the utmost courtesy and are put on pedestals by the management http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

PS and whre on earth is Kleigat Pampercity

[ September 12, 2002, 10:22: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Timstone]

Ah, someone notice the redicilous name of my hometown. Well, it's a name that doesn't come up in the world atlas, it's a name people gave it because it encompasses everything it represents. I'll explain.
1) Kleigat - Consists of 2 words; Klei and Gat. The first means (roughly) "made from clay". The town was originaly a field where cattle (cows, horses) grazed. And beacuse it was so close to the sea, the ground contained a lot of clay. The town was build right over the fields. So that explains Klei. The second (Gat) means "In the middle of nowhere".
2) Pampercity - That refers to the many, many, many little children that live in my town. Because it's a relatively young town, many young couples live here. They produce offspring (gentleman-like enough?). Those little kids wear dipers (brand name: Pampers).
Thus the name Kleigat Pampercity came into being.
The real name of Kleigat Pampercity is Velserbroek.
Now, the only thing that needs to be said is the location of Kleigat Pampercity. Kleigat Pampercity is located in Noord-Holland in Holland. One of the best countries to live out your live. A bit quiet, but overall very rich (in relation with the rest of the world).

I hope I have explained it clear enough. If not, I'll explain it agian. Also I hope I haven't shattered any unwritten rules with my previous Posts. I would like to remain a costumer in this bar for a long time.

[Growltigga]

OK, I dont know Velserbroek but I spent a lot of time down in Brabant in s'-Hertogenborsch, Tilburg and Neijmegin (cant spell that one)

Holland is cool, the Dutch are strangely like the English in attitude except we dont eat niuew haring and definately dont do chocolate sprinkles

welcome to the cantina Timstone, have a slug of jenever on the house

[Timstone]

Hahaha... thanks GT! It's always cool to see people stunt around with our language. I've read somewhere that Dutch is one of the most difficult Languages to master.
What did you do in Holland if I may ask?
Oh, and you spell it as Nijmegen. And you stayed in Noord-Brabant, because Brabant is the southern part of it and that lies in Belgium. But you spelled the rest of the name correct. Bravo GT.

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Timstone:
Hahaha... thanks GT! It's always cool to see people stunt around with our language. I've read somewhere that Dutch is one of the most difficult Languages to master.
What did you do in Holland if I may ask?
Oh, and you spell it as Nijmegen. And you stayed in Noord-Brabant, because Brabant is the southern part of it and that lies in Belgium. But you spelled the rest of the name correct. Bravo GT.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, I spent 1 year after university at the Europa Instituut in Amsterdam and then Bruges. I had a rather nice half Moroccan/half girl Noord- Brabant girlfriend who lived in Den Borsch so I spent time down there.

Otherwise, I was just looking for answers and as I believe you lot say, de aantwoorden zijn altijd aal anwezig (sic spelling again).

Of course, the coffee houses and heineken helped a lot

[Gryphin]

I was born, 9/14/54.
Looks like several very cold Jaunuarys.

[Gryphin]

Reguarding the furtherance of Tiggas,
Try Circle the Wagons and the Gryphin Position. They are both known to assist in conception.
Ask mac for details.

[Timstone]

Gryphin, you could be right. That was looong before I was born.

GT, yeah the spelling sucked, but that doesn't matter. Maybe we meet eachother one day in Holland. Who knows.

Well, I'm off. Doing some homework http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
Till the next time.

[ September 12, 2002, 11:36: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, Mac

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can you tell me what 'circling the wagons is? and what the 'Gryphin position' is?

after all, that is what started the cantina, after all this time, the public have a right to know

[DirectorTsaarx]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
Gryphin, Mac

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can you tell me what 'circling the wagons is? and what the 'Gryphin position' is?

after all, that is what started the cantina, after all this time, the public have a right to know<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not another round of "Circle the Wagons"! The FBW's are still recovering from the Last time we tried that... and the Gryphin position should only be attempted by trained professionals, and then only if they're in fine physical shape, not a bunch of "middle-aged jaded rockers" (middle aged? GT, didn't you say something about being conceived around New Year's 1968? That would mean you turn(ed) 33 this year - hardly middle aged; that's only a couple months older than I am!).

[Gryphin]

Reguarding TGP,
Um,
Don't pick up the soap.

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, is this a derivation of the joke that goes "Two nuns in the bath, one says "where's the soap?", the other one say "yes, it does a bit"?

Think about it, think about it!

Tsarrx, yes, I turn 33 next Wednesday, OK not quite middle aged but I do feel it at the moment. I leave for Kuala Lumpur tomorrow and am really looking forward to my second 13 hour flight in a week.

[SNORTpigga]

WINGS! WINGS! GET YOUR RED HOT WINGS HERE!!!

[Gryphin]

No it does not. (Had to look the joke up on the web).
I'll pm you the refferance

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, please PM me, I am now worried.

SNORTpigga, apologies but the canteen has its own kitchen. No hawkers or food vendors are allowed on the premise. Please see Barry outside who will assist you in relocation.

[Jmenschenfresser]

You mean the chuckwagon out back manned by the blueish guy with 15 arms calling himself, Cooky?

Hell, I'll buy a wing. Long as 'wing' implies 'Buffalo' and not '50 foot predatorial eagle from Cephedri 7.'

Not that hungry

[Growltigga]

No, the canteen kitchen is an intrinsic state of the art, all mod cons, proper chef's kitchen under the auspices of Taz.

Barry is the T-Rex in the valet jacket who doubles up as external security. You will see that he has now scoffed the 15 arm cooky blue thing in the parking lot.

You pay extra by the way if you want the wings to come from a NAMED animal..

ANNDDDDD, (drumroll please) I am glad to announce that I have been, woof woof, enlightened to the workings of the Gryphin position.. where is a FBW when you need one!

[Gryphin]

Notes:
The FBW's have turned on the Anti GT Cloaking devices, (provided as part of their employment contract.)

[Growltigga]

hahaaa, but little do the FBW's know that GT, being a lawyer, has reviewed their employment contracts, seen the perks they get and has installed an electron cannon in the roof of the cantina, with one burst, all cloaking screens are non-functional and GT, with an evil snicker, proceeds to assault the FBW's with the Gryphin position

mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwaaaaahhhhhhh

[Timstone]

Yeah! Great! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif
My new watch is broken by that stupid electron cannon! Don't you know an electron cannon gives a huge EM Pulse wich destroys delicate electronic equipment.
I expect you to pay for it!
Oh, and an extra beer for me.

[Gryphin]

Throws Pixie dust on GT,
Watches him go to sleep, Hits GT with a Selective Forget Beem.
He will no longer remember what the Gryphin Positon is.

[Timstone]

But he also won't remeber firing the electron cannon, now who's going to pay for my watch?!

And more importantly he also won't remeber giving me a whole evening free drinks... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ September 12, 2002, 20:59: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[TerranC]

... forget about twister positions http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif , red hot wings, and sick nun jokes.

WHERE IS THE DAMN COORS?

Btw, what is the european fascination with kylie minogue? My colleagues and I find her... unpleasant to say the least.

[DirectorTsaarx]

Dug up this old nugget and thought I'd share for you birthday celebrators (particularly the local randy feline lawyer/owner): (NOTE: language cleaned up out of respect for the delicate ears of the FBWs):

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your nit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while boinking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

(For the rest of the signs, and the original coarse language that a gentlemen like myself prefers not to use, go to >>> Rude Astrology (http://www.indigo.org/humor/astrology.html) <<<

[ September 12, 2002, 21:58: Message edited by: DirectorTsaarx ]

[dogscoff]

Btw, what is the european fascination with kylie minogue? My colleagues and I find her... unpleasant to say the least.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Two words: "Pants" & "Hot", and not necessarily in that order. I have an sadly extensive collection of Kylie videos, I'd be happy to mail/ burn you some of the smaller ones. Alternatively you could just look up videos of "Spinning around" or "Agent provocateur" on google. That should be enough to change most blokes' minds.

As well as having an incredible arse, she's one of those schlebs who comes across as being a really nice person. And she has an incredible arse. Hell, even my girlfriend says she'd give Kylie one.

Ah, here you go. Here's a working link to the Agent provocateur ad. Might need some bandwidth though...

[TerranC]

umm... where?

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz on leave, filled to the gills with the libations provided by RD, decides to check in on the funny inhabitants of the cantina. (on cable channel 918273645.5, pay-per-view of course)

Hmmm, a Birthday Bash! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Definately have to check that out http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

What's this??? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif Hundreds or maybe THOUSANDS of little Tiggas? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Wonder if Mrs GT knows about that little plan http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
(Don't worry boss, just wondering out loud)

Well all this has made me thirsty - time to dive back into my LAKE-SIZED liquid refreshment http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ...

[ September 12, 2002, 12:15: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Growltigga]

TerranC, in Europe, being a bloke and not appreciating Kylie Minogue's derriere is considered a sure sign that you are a latent pillow biter.

You must rememberthat as europeans, we have the benefit of thousands of years of cultural evolution so that we can truely appreciate beauty.

Discussions have been held at all levels and the general synopsis is that you may or may not think she is attractive (after all, each to their own), but those peachy cheeks do a great deal to promote world harmony.

She is also lauded as being the original 'chuckabout', but if you want to know what that means, send me a PM

Timstone, apologies but I have no recollection of any allegded electron burst in the cantina, we dont even have an electron cannon so I am afraid you must pay for your watch yourself. And by the way, you owe the house 200 minerals for your drinks tab - cash required now (see Barry for payment).

Can someone tell me why I am dressed up in this salmon pink rubber gear with a chicken feather sticking out of my bum?

[ September 13, 2002, 09:07: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Gryphin]

:: Walks out to Barry, Pays the tab for Timstone ::
Timstone, here's the address for my Gigit fixer. Tell it to put the charge on my tab.

:: Walks over with super deluxe cammera, Takes many pics of GrowlTigga in salmon pink rubber gear outfit, Downloads them to Cantinna PC, Sends them to several different address, Prints out a few for the patrons, Puts one on the Dart Board ::

[ September 13, 2002, 11:44: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Timstone]

Alright Gryphin! My hero!
Hmm... I might come to like this joint.

[Growltigga]

hmmm.. I am not sure that I like where this conversation is going.

Gryphin, keep your perVersions to yourself.

Timstone, if you have homework to do, you are too young for this sort of talk!!

[Gryphin]

I have not posted anything that is the least bit pervers. Clearly it is your mind that is infering things. Tsk, Tsk.
Even Barry agrees I am not perverse.
He did like the spectical of the Pink and the feather. Says he wants you to do that again.

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, listen, there is nothing wrong in using a feather.

A feather is erotic, using the chicken is kinky