Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Raging Deadstar]

GT, ever considered putting the "Gryphin Position" into the encyclopedia malfadorica, i'm sure future generations will love to know that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Ragnarok]

I'm sure they would RD. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

But you have my permission to publish all that is posted by me.

I'm rathering enjoying the chase taking place right now. The FBWs are what set it off though...

[mlmbd]

mlmbd, not at all rattled by all the hullabaloo. SHOUTS, out the door at Fyron, Thanking him for disclosing his identity. Turns to Growltigga, ah yes you have my permission as well.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif , REALIZING that the bartender is still waiting for 10,000 credits, {digs down in his pocket} extracting his tattered wallet. Removes a card, flings it on the bar{and belts out} put it on that barkeep! MY AMERCIAN EXPRESS, NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!!!

AND, SET THE HOUSE UP AGAIN, THANKS

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Timstone]

Alright mlmbd! Now that's the spirit!

If I would pull a card like that I would have to say: "Never leave the cave without it!"
(btw:, that's a sentence from Batman & Robin, the one with dr. Fries)

[Growltigga]

Growltigga joins in on the trumpet with his mariachi band playing the "chase theme" from the Benny Hill show......

To add a bit more spice, Growltigga organises a dozen FBW's to join in the end of the chase dressed in only their underwear, closely followed by Mac in a dirty old man's flashing mac and wearing a beret whilst leering disgustingly...

Watching all this, Growltigga decides he needs a cold shower and a lie-down

[Gryphin]

Imagine if you guys put your talent to writing SEIV Fan Fiction.
I wonder what the results would be.

[dogscoff]

Watching all this, Growltigga decides he needs a cold shower and a lie-down
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Watching all this (A vegetable deity, an army of sword wielding legumes and a string of women in lingerie chasing a vorlon vampire down the road) Dogscoff decides he needs to go into rehab. He opens another bottle of Vaxin Absynthe to celebrate the occasion.

[dogscoff]

Imagine if you guys put your talent to writing SEIV Fan Fiction.
I wonder what the results would be.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Something like this. (http://www.sandman43.fsnet.co.uk/se4fiction.htm)

[dogscoff]

GT:

To edit the Malfadorica just go to any page, click "Edit" and start typing. It's that simple. If it asks you for a username, just type in your name (it must have at least 2 capitals in it for some reason, ie GrowlTigga) and don't bother with a password.

If you want to make a new entry, you just need to create a link to it in an existing entry. To create a link, enclose a word or words with square brackets. Once you've finished editting, your new link will be there with a question mark by it. Click the question mark to begin work on the new entry. You can link to existing entries in the same way, but it's case-sensitive so be careful.

That's enough to get you started, but there are a few other tricks you can pick up later. I'd recommed by starting with the "recent changes" page and having a look around to get the feel of it, then dive in.

You can correct, expand upon or alter absolutely anything written by anyone else, and they can do the same to your work. It's pure anarchy and there is scope for some real *****-fights (You changed my article, I hate you =-) but a wierd sort of order arises from the chaos very quickly. It's extremely cool.

[Growltigga]

Well, I will see what I can do but unfortunately, I have now accepted another job and hand my notice either this afternoon or Monday so am liable to be booted off the work PC, what it means is that I may be out of touch for a while

Au revoir mes enfants, fear not, the mighty Tigga will be back

[Timstone]

A song arises from the background of the cantina.

"I will survive, I will surive..."

[Growltigga]

"and as long as they pay me enough I know I'll stay alive, I have an awful lot to give, as long as they pay me lots of quids, I will survive, I will survive, hey hey"

Growltigga goes dancing off into the distance, clutching an FBW on either arm with moneybags in his eyes

[Timstone]

Yeah, groovy tiger! You're sure to make a hit this way! Great lyrics! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

As Growltigga then launches into his favourite Monty Python medley of hits and then, after the beer has been flowing rather a long time, GT launches into the age-old British drinking songs...

All together now.....

"Beer, beer,
We want more beer
All the lads are cheering
Get the bloody beer in"

OR

"See the little goblin,
See his little feet,
And his little nosey wose
Isn't the goblin sweet
HEY"

OR

"I'm climbing up sunshine mountain
Where all the little birds go
TWEET TWEET TWEET"

[Timstone]

Now, I'm beginning to suspect you drink during work. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[dogscoff]

Ha! I'd forgotten about the goblin song. Blackadder wasn't it?

Here's one, a pint for the person who can tell me where it's from...

Oh Pointy birds,
so pointy pointy,
upon my head,
anointy-nointy.

[Growltigga]

Of course lawyers drink during work Timstone, how else do you think we can deal with the unreasonable and daft demands of our clients. I personally couldn't sit down and draft a loan agreement without a couple of stiff shots of absolut vodka inside me....

Dogscoff, you have stumped me there. I dont know that song and frankly, it sounds a bit complex to try with a skinful of ale inside you..... I prefer the football chants as these are always capable of being sung when drunk... you know things like

"One Nil, to the Enggguuulllaaaaannnndd
One Nil, to the Enguuulllaaaannnddddddd
Blurgghhhhhhh"

OR

"They are orange, they are bland
They come from Netherlands
Bunch of poofffsss
Bunch of poooofffffsss"

OR

"Deutschland Deutschland
Cant play footballlllll
England thrashd them
FIve goals to One"

OR

"They are crap, they are ****e
But they think they are dynamite
U SS AAAAAAAA
USS AAAAAAAA"

[Quikngruvn]

Dogscoff: I think Steve Martin serenaded that to some female whom I cannot remember in "L.A. Story".

Growltigga: Good luck, and go get 'em!

And remember: the tune of "The Star-Splangled Banner" came from a drinking song....

Quikngruvn

[Growltigga]

"Ding dong the witch is dead
The wicked witch, the silly old witch
Ding dong the wicked witch is dead"

Growltigga is seen striding across the cantina dancefloor, absolutely seven sheets to the wind, his eyes looking like a Japanese flag and his breath smelling like the outflow of a distillery, and clutching a bottle of his favourite "Bluey Wallaboo's Sydney Old Regurgitator"...

"Damn" says the Tigga, "I am so drunk I need to hold onto the floor, and as for that new FBW, she is as amorous as a kangaroo shagging a space hopper"....

"Skippy, Skippy, Skippy
The Bush Kangaroo
Skippy Skippy
Dah dee dee dah dee dah"

In that sad way of drunkards everywhere, Growltigga decided to "square the hypoteneuse" and leans his head against one of the cantina walls, and proceeds to pee on the floor

"I'm in the bodyguard of Julius Caesar
He's got a todger like a lemon squeezer
Gladiator bold and furious
All dressed up in a garb so curious
The favouorite game of a roman rogue is
Three pink gins and then off with his toga
My name's Marcus, randy old Marcus
I'm in the bodyguard of Rome
Oy"

Growltigga takes another swig from his bottle, spins round twice and ends up propped on Dogscoff saying "I really love you, you're my best mate you are, you are my best friend"

"Blurrrrrgggggghhhhhhh"

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff steps over 'Tigga's vomit-pool and buys Quikngruvn a pint as promised. He briefly considers pulling some evil prank on the kat (I wtill suspect 'Tig of being involved in what happened to me when I passsed out in the Birthday Party thread) but decides against it - hell, it's Friday, getting drunk is what Fridays do best!

Dogscoff pops the cork on a bottle of best phong poteen and tells Taz to line up some shooter glasses along the bar. A line forms along the bar, one person per glass, and Dogscoff runs the inverted bottle along the bar, filling each glass to the top.

OK everybody, down in one. After 3...

[Quikngruvn]

[Quikngruvn opens his throat and slams the shot in one gulp, and follows quickly with the beer chaser. A few seconds later and the glass is empty. Suddenly a massive belch reverberates around the Cantina, causing everyone in the room to look his way. "Excuse me," Quikngruvn grins sheepishly.]

Thanks, Dogscoff. I needed that! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Quikngruvn

[Growltigga]

Tigga joins in the slam-dunkin' but then watches in horror as Taz has to leap out of the way to avid being covered in projectile vomit

"Oops, Sorry Taz, must have had a bad pint or seven"...

Right, who is up for some real drinking, Taz, serve up that industrial alcohol with that lime juice put in it

[Raging Deadstar]

OHNO!! We havn't seen GT drink in this excess before

*A Distant rumble can be heard as the "current" Mrs GT storms towards to the cantina, complete with fleets of "Fairy Liquid" Battle Cruisers, "MR Sheen" carriers loaded to the brim with apron and yellow rubber glove wearing fighter pilots and the aforementioned female in her "What Time do U call this?" Base Ship. The Sky turns black and the full realisation of the situation falls in, Timstone disapears in his time travelling gearbox, taking his polish gf for a night of love only someone from "pampercity" can do, in other words timstone'll be expecting soon, rags who is currently plagued by demons and being stalked by gunther dives in a closet and mac almost has a heart attack as he and taz peer from behind the bar. The "Current" Mrs GT smashes through the door, her eyes glowing red, wearing a tiger striped orange robe, complete with matching rubber gloves, apron and chef's hat. Her minions of tupperware loving Mole Rats spot GT and bring him forth, the place is silent as we wait for the feline to get out of this...*

"Growltigga, Growltigga" she booms, Mac's heart fails him and taz is left pouring beer down his throat and flashing glossy magasine shots of liz hurley to revive our regular of wisdom. Rags pushes gunther from out the closet they were in and sacrifices the cantinas resident witch hunter to the evil minions of Mr's GT. Screams can be heard as he is shown the pile of dishes aboard The purest form of fear's baseship and begins an eternity toiling. Dogscoff waves a bon voyage to GT and begins unmercilessly drinking his Last hours away.

"You Promised Not to Drink at Work!!" Everyone gulps, although not every regulAr is a lawyer they all realise that a promise to a women is harder to get out of than any legal document, iron clad or not! GT realises theres only one thing for it and pulls out the only thing that will get him out of such a life threatening predicament, he hands her the credit card which is for Tigga Scoff PLC's bank account. Growltigga can almost picture the red minus numbers and the falling shares as the seconds tick by but can't help breath a sigh of relief as "Fears purest form" accepts such apology and flees the cantina knowing there are only 6 more shopping hours left!

[Timstone]

Great storywriting RD!! One for the historybooks! Especially the bit about "Love like only someone from Pampercity can give...".

[mac5732]

Mac, peering from behind the bar with Taz, watches the Greatly upset "current Mrs GT", lay into the poor old furry feline all the while flanked by her own minions of terror, oh oh, I hope this doesn't mean other wives, girlfriends, partners or whatever are going to start inspecting the goings on here at the cantina, is no where safe he mumbles to Taz, while the wiley devil administers brewskises down his countenance and showing him Liz Hurly mags to settle his feeble old anatamy from going into shutdown mode.... He sees GT hand over his golden platinum credit card to his better half with tears streaming down his face, as she quickly takes it and yells "charge it" and proceeds to leave the cantina. The poor tigga is just a smattering of himself as he mumbles, there goes all my profits..... grabs another bottle of top shelf wine and guzzles it down as he contemplates the wisdom of allowing one to apply for credit cards while being married...

With the exit of Lady Tigga, Mac grabs his scientific journal on the theories of Vampires, written by Dr. StakethemAll and Dr. BitemyNeck, thanks Taz for his help in lowering his heart rate, and shuffles over to his table to indulge himself into the research of the undead,

(over in the shadows, without being seen by anyone, The Grinning Gryphin closes his portable fax, erasing the address and the message that was sent, laughing to himself as he watches GT moaning and groaning about his soon to be over used credit card...) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

...IS THE CANTINA SOON TO BE BANKRUPT?...
...WILL GROWLTIGGA EVER GET HIS CREDIT CARD BACK?...
...WILL THE VAMPIRE FYRON EVER BE CAUGHT?...

FOR THESE ANSWERS AND MORE - STAY TUNED!


I now return you to the regularly scheduled Cantina

[mlmbd]

Timstone,

I never said HOME wasn't a cave.

Ah yes barkeep, I need to buy the TIGER there one Last round before he goes!!

Growltigga, you will sorely missed...................

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[mlmbd]

Hey, wait THAT'S MY CREDIT CARD.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif , considers following after the disgruntled Mrs GT. But decides against it. After all he has only ONE life (which he most assuredly would surrender in trying to re-aquire his credit card), and after all he has plenty of other Credit Cards.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Ragnarok]

"thanks Taz for his help in lowering his heart rate"

Shouldn't all that Taz did increase your heart rate instead of lowering it?
I must be confused or I just have had too much to drink tonight. Just thought I'd ask.

Oh, and mlmbd, sorry for the credit card lose. I'm sure that'll hurt wallet a bit.
Even if you do have other cards to replace that one you still have the bill to pay on it.

Ok, enough of my nonsense for tonight. I'm tired so I'm out of here.

*Rags walks towards the door, pays his tab for the day and jumps in his mighty DD and flies off at ludicris speeds...*

[Fyron]

Fyron the Vampire chuckles inwardly again. Unknown to the hapless Cantina residents, he was an accomplished mage in his former life. What the Vegetable God was chasing was actually a Shadow creature, made to look like Fyron. Unfortunately for the Vegetable God, the Shadow Fyron had been designed with a special, very potent spell, capable of annihiliating vegetables in any form, and also capable of banishing those that were divine, and could not be killed so easily. This spell was set to trigger once the Shadow reached a certain distance from the Cantina. Once reached, the spell was set off. A blinding flash was all the Cantina residents could see. The entire army of vegetables was instantly annihiliated. The Vegetable God was irrevecobly Banned from this plane of existance, and could never in any way shape or form return to it.

Meanwhile, Fyron (who had cast an Invisibility spell on himself earlier), was able to watch the preceding events without fear of detection. As the spell made him literally transparent, Tachyon Scanners and their ilk could not detect him (because they relied on detecting the bending of light performed by normal cloaking devices).

[Kamog]

Originally posted by mlmbd:
Hey, wait THAT'S MY CREDIT CARD.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Did you remember to call the credit card company and report that your card is lost? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*wanders in to find taz behind the bar cleaning and cooking a mountian of onions and the now side salad remains of the vegetable god*

Hmm what artillery to we have to stop fyron http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif
we have FBW's that for some reason are in the mood for bondage and hedgeclippers, we have macs brand new colostamy bags from the current mrs gt's entrance and a few steaks made from the cantinas underused pool table.

I think we're doomed, *puts down all his vampire killing stuff and buys fyron a brewski to say sorry for all the trouble the cantina has caused him*

[Growltigga]

Growltigga turns to Taz again and asks which barrel he has NOW been serving brwskis from...

Oh god, not the one marked with the radioactive symbol that contains the brewskis which should only be served to silicon-based lifeforms should they drop into the cantina...

No wonder the patrons have hallucinated that the current Mrs GT has appeared.

Guys, you would know if she had, remember the balrog from LOTR:FOTR? that was her first cameo role in Hollywood and NO make-up was needed......

Anyhow, she went Christmas shopping on Saturday and is all spent up....... I have had to ask a builder to widen the letter box to basically the size of the door in order to get the credit card bill through when it arrives.... and she is grumbling at me for spending £2,000 of my own money buying a landrover!!!

[dogscoff]

Hmm what artillery to we have to stop fyron
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Is there a Mrs Fyron? That should do the trick. Then again, I'm more of the opinion that the Cantina should be a haven from those who don't understand the joys of The Game.

*Dogscoff alters the anti-clone Graviton Hellbore to detect and eliminate spouses. People soon start to point out that although they like having the Cantina as a refuge, they don't necessarily want their other halves compacted into hyper-dense goop. By way of compromise, Dogscoff grudgingly removes the graviton hellbore and replaces it with a wormhole beam. Any spouse attempting to enter the Cantina will be automatically transported to a random location in the shopping district.

[Fyron]

Growltigga is a spouse, so he is gone. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

No, there is no Mrs. Fyron. Fyron is a bit young to be getting married. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Originally posted by Growltigga:
Guys, you would know if she had, remember the balrog from LOTR:FOTR? that was her first cameo role in Hollywood and NO make-up was needed......<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">How would you get in bed with a creature composed of fire? Seems rather painful to me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ November 11, 2002, 09:14: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]

[Timstone]

Asbestos is great stuff...

As long as you don't chew on it...

[ November 11, 2002, 10:26: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Growltigga]

[/qb]How would you get in bed with a creature composed of fire? Seems rather painful to me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif [/QB]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well she is certainly "hot stuff" <cue tongue in cheek wry grin>

Well, what she does is take human form (you know the powers these balrogs have) when it is time to shop or carry out her conjugal duties, she adopts a very nice human form

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
No, there is no Mrs. Fyron. Fyron is a bit young to be getting married. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Besides, Vampires don't have wives, they have minions. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[dogscoff]

I think the goth chicks are the only real advantage to being a vampire.

Apart from the immortality, of course. And the hypnotic powers. And the super-strength. And that whole looking-cool-in-black thing...

Hey, I wanna be a vampire!

[Growltigga]

Dogscoff, you cannot be a vampire, you need to look good in leather troUsers and that my boy, together with the goatee beard (that looks like you seriously smudged a cup of cocoa), are just not going to cut it...

I am feeling rather flattered at the moment. Our temp secretary (who is a nice twenty-something type in a short business suit), just said that I look like Vin Diesel...

'Scuse me whilst I scratch my ear, which is currently 35 yards away my head is that big

[Ragnarok]

Whew, a lawyer looking like Vin Diesel. Dang, I would seriously hate to face you in court. You'd be liable to kick my butt if my lawyer beat you. But I'm sure you're a good lawyer so it wouldn't be possible in the first place.

[dogscoff]

I'd be a great vampire!

*Dogscoff lurks in a darkened corner and tries to look all brooding and menacing and immortal...

See?

*lurk* *brood* *lurk* *lurk*

[ November 11, 2002, 17:07: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Rags, I dont go to court, I am not that kind of lawyer, I am a corporate lawyer so I am more pinstripe suits, large cigar and requesting the office "debt collector" vist old ladies with a sledgehammer and a nailgun.....

I am quite flattered and have asked the Mrs if we can watch fast and furious and pitch black tonight so I can check out my, I mean Vin's biceps...

Actually, the balrog says I kind of look like Bruce Willis as well so I am beginning to get follicly confused, am I a hard talking tattooed bald new yorker who kicks butt or a hard talking swearing smoothy bald new jersey person who says "yippeekayay"

Can someone give Dogscoff a reality check and tell him to stop lurking, my cats "lurk", that white jobby from the curry on Friday that wont go down the pan even with a chisel "lurks", the taxman "lurks", Dogscoff just eats poo (oh god, I have started that argument off again)

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
Geo, I think you are wrong. What about all those pale young ladies wearing lots of make-up and black silk neggle-giggles you always see in the vampire flicks.. I am sure there are a couple of happy relations going on with that lot<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">THOSE are the evil minions Gt. There's no rule that say's Vampires can't have hot chicks for minions. Not all minions are ungly hunch-backed dudes afterall. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif They (Vampires) just don't settle down and marry one. I mean, if you have dozens of hot looking babe minions at your beck and call would you get married? No way. Guys that get married are the ugly guys like Frankenstein that can't get a hot chick/prospective minion to look twice at him. Then you got your really disgusting guys like wolf-man and swamp-thing that can't even get a wife. They got a stalk their women and snatch them when noone is looking. But not Vampires. The women fight over the vampires. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

Rags, In regards to lowering my heart rate, the good Taz used a secret slurping sobering concoction of blended brewskis to lower the rate, then he used the Liz Hurly Mags to perk me back up and get my, ahem, anatamy back on line in all the right places http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

In regards to Vampires and Geo's most gracious findings, I have spent extensive time in scientfic research on the various aspects of vampires and the undead. I found that the good Geo's formulated theories are in fact pretty close to be actual fact. Have any of you ever seen a vampire not hanging around lucious, vivacious, sexy, young things with medium to large hooters and nicely dexteriors? Therefore, even tho the poor Fyron is a self proclaimed vampire, he should be petitioned to share in his wealth of sexy vixins with the rest of the membership here in the cantina.. In the mean time I am continueing to research into the whatfores and whatnots of vampires and their various powers in order to learn how to excersize (sp?) Fyron to bring him back into the mortal realm but at the same time to keep the drooling sexy, lucious vampire groupies here in the cantina. In addition I'm researching the possibilities of the opposite sex who are kept from obtaining credit cards whether they are vampire groupies or partners of members of the cantina and their withdrawl symptoms upon being denied access to those pLastic pieces of hell on ones bank accounts http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

continuing to research Mac

[ November 11, 2002, 18:10: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[TerranC]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
I think the goth chicks are the only real advantage to being a vampire.

Apart from the immortality, of course. And the hypnotic powers. And the super-strength. And that whole looking-cool-in-black thing...

Hey, I wanna be a vampire!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">But that whole thing with garlic, pale skin, and bad teeth is a letdowner.

[Fyron]

I like garlic. I eat it all the time. And I only have pale skin when I haven't eaten in a long while. The teeth are actually pretty cool. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Growltigga]

Geo, I think you are wrong. What about all those pale young ladies wearing lots of make-up and black silk neggle-giggles you always see in the vampire flicks.. I am sure there are a couple of happy relations going on with that lot

[Quikngruvn]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
The teeth are actually pretty cool.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">With my luck I'd chew off my bottom lip.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif And not being able to go out in the sun might be a bit of an obstacle... but it could be gotten around by either a) living in a city with a very active nightlife, or b) using SPF 4 million.

Quikngruvn

[Fyron]

Umm... the sun thing is actually not in "real" vampiric stories. It was added in one of the first Hollywood movies about vampires.

[Kamog]

Wow, it seems that everything I've heard about vampires is wrong... is it true that you need to drink blood? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[TerranC]

Originally posted by Kamog:
Wow, it seems that everything I've heard about vampires is wrong... is it true that you need to drink blood? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The person that dracula was based on, no.
Although nailing 3 people on the head to the wall while alive was done... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Several Edits: Darn, I really need to use the preview.

[ November 12, 2002, 03:43: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[Growltigga]

Yeah TerranC but I think you need to qualify that as Vlad Drakul only nailed Turks to the walls, and the Turks were invading at the time so I suppose there is a modicum of justification

[Growltigga]

AWOOGA AWOOG AWOOGA - Cantina alert, Cantina alert

We have now passed 1550 Posts, it strikes me that this is an appropriate time to begin thinking about closing down the cantina..... Dogscoff and Gryphin, you and I need to discuss potential mayhem, plans to take over the world etc, I have some ideas, send me a PM and we will talk over the master plan.

[Fyron]

Why close the Cantina yet again? Sounds crazy to me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Edit: By the way, I fixed my sig so that now I actually say "Onions" in every post. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ November 12, 2002, 09:29: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]

[Timstone]

Fyron: I'll modify my timetraveling gearbox. When you say O..o.s in the cantina, my gearbox will transport you into another plane of time. It's up to you to get back again. Ehh... the gearbox is not traveling with you of course, that would be too easy. Happy timetraveling, dear Fyron. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[dogscoff]

Ahhh, it's that time again is it?

*Dogscoff puts in a call to his orbitting battlemoon and soon a five-hundred-strong squad of genetically-altered bio-mechanical suicide demolition lobsters march into the cantina, taking up position in strategic structural points.

"OK boys, we haven't yet decided the right time to bring the Cantina down, so hold on to your fuses for now. We might even destroy it in some other way altogether, but you being here will make sure everything goes with a Bang when we do."

Dogscoff looks at the exploding crustaceans and wonders what the point of them wearing hardhats is. To illustrate the point, he stamps on a lobster which promptly detonates, throwing Dogscoff across the room to land behind the bar.

[Growltigga]

Something worse than exploding lobsters looms on the horizon, Growltigga, up in the cantina observatory with his large telescope, catches sight of his nemesis, and promptly needs to run to the loo in terror

[Growltigga]

A van pulls up outside the cantina with "Health & Safety Executive" written on the side of it....

Growltigga is cowering in the toilet, gibbering with terror and desparately calling for more paper

[dogscoff]

The health and safety execs walk into the Cantina, armed with nothing more than white coats and clipBoards.

Everything goes quiet.

They move around the room, with Tig, Dogscoff and Taz following dejectedly. The officials read aloud as they add items to the list of health and safety hazards.

Item: One beaten and bloody Bill Gates clone and auto-cloner. When was the Last time you had this thing washed, hmm? The auto-cloner's filthy as well. Minus 8000 points.

Item: One highly dangerous and unpredictable wall-mounted Graviton Hellbore, minus 20000 points.

Item: Bartender appears to be a tasmaninan devil, species Sarcophilus laniarius Cartoonus. I don't care how often you wash your hands, Mr Taz, I fail to believe you can keep all that slobber out people's drinks. Minus 15000 points.

Item: Approximately four hundred and ninety nine loose lobsters. Minus 4990 points. Are these on the menu Mr Scoff or are they customers? Exploding lobsters? Minus 49900 points. tyhen again, they are at least wearing hard hats, so we can overlook this item.

Item: One non-western vampire. Kindly turn that cloaking device off, Mr Fyron, it's very rude and your powers are useless against Health and Safety. Do you have a license to serve the undead Mr Tigga? No, I didn't think so. Minus 75000 points.

They continue their listings...

[Growltigga]

The inspectors walk over to the kitchen.... "my god" one of them cries, "we have a code 3 offence here"...

Growltigga is sobbing into his hands, Dogscoff is looking worried and Gryphin is looking constipated.....

"Dont you know that keeping fanatical killer mongoose staffed comical mediaval armies in the kitchen is seriously illegal" says one of the inspectors, "that is an automatic minus 50,000 points"

"and what are we going to see when we look into that large fridge?"

"and what is large bowel of dogpoo on the cooker marked "Mac's special chilli?"

"and why is there the remains of a 400 foot long genetically modified giant squid in that fish cooker?"

"and why are the cupBoards infested by assorted woodland creatures dressed in fake chainmail?"

Growltigga frantically waves to one of the FBW's and tells her to put some clothes on, clean up the, ahem, office and to get the pygmies out of the lavatory FAST

[dogscoff]

While the health inspectors pore over the various violations in the kitchen, Dogscoff slips quietly out to the car park to summon Barry.

He returns to the kitchen with the T-Rex, who has just been promised a sizeable bonus if he'll give the health inspectors a very personal demonstration of our food preparation techniques. Barry is standing just about to bite the head off the nearest inspector when he turns and bonks Barry on the snout with his clipboard.

"Attempting to eat a member of the Galactic Health and Safety executive is a very serious offence. Attempting to do so without first ensuring that he is properly gutted and cooked in a hygenic environment is even more serious. Minus 60000 points.

Also, prehistoric carnivores over 30 tonnes in weight fall under subsection 2.77 of the dangerous animals act. Furthermore I think I can smell fetid chunks of Anklyosaurus meat in between its teeth, which represents a serious hygeine hazard in this food preparation area. Minus 35000 points."

Barry, who is very sensitive about his breath problem, runs from the Cantina in tears.

[Growltigga]

Growltigga, tears in his eyes at the severity of the points being deducted from the cantina, rushes back to his private commode where he proceeds to vent his anxiety in the most solid way possible....

Summoning Dogscoff and Gryphin, he asks them to come up with a cunning plan to get the cantina out of this unholy mess it has gotten itself into!!

[dogscoff]

Dogfscoff, holding his nose and averting his eyes from 'Tigga's source of relief, suggest either bribery or full scale Lobster detonation.

[Growltigga]

Hmmmm... says Growltigga, screwing up his eyes and forcing a particularily large bit of anxiety out, bribery could be good given that the fines are going to financial demolish Tigg-Scoff PLC, detonation of the exploding lobsters may just result in more fines (but could possibly wipe out the evidence).. we have tried extreme violence, do you think, excuse me, plop plop, it could be worth persuading the FBW's to try and catch the inspectors in compromising positions??

[dogscoff]

The FBW plan might work, but on the other hand it might backfire if they try to do anything the inspectors consider "unhygenic". We have to do something though, look at some of the stuff on this list:

Item: One half empty bottle of Vaxin absynthe. You do realise that this is the stuff they make kamikaze warheads out of don't you? Minus 22000 points.

Item: A severed arm found in the dishwasher. Minus 12000 points.

Item: An extreme number of customers' battlemoons parked in orbit above the Cantina causing unwanted gravitational effects for the entire system. Minus 200000 points.

Just to remind you of the Galactic Health and safety points scale:

80 to 100 points: Exemplary H&S procedures.
50 to 79 points: Good H&S procedures. Cleanliness and safety not considered an issue. Some room for improvement.
30 to 49 points: Satisfactory H&S. No work needed to comply with legal requirements, although many improvements could be made.
1 to 29 points: Borderline H&S, improvements reccomended. Enforcement at disscretion of visiting H&S official.
-30 to 0 points: Bad H&S. Immediate minor improvements required. Establishment may stay open while improvements are made.
-60 to -31 points: Major, immediate work required. Establishment to be closed while improvements are made.
-100 to -61 points: Grave H&S violations. Closure of premises required while work is carried out, business owner must then re-apply for H&S permits.
-200 to -101 points: Deliberate flouting of H&S procedures. Owner may be liable for criminal prosection.
-400 to -201 points: Establishment poses serious threat to surrounding community. Recommend immediate demolition and purging of entire area.
-800 to -401: This score only awarded to disease ridden, radioactive swamps which are home to maurauding rabid killer mutant sludge beasts.

Notice that the score doesn't go below -1000, because no-one has ever scored that low. Our score is currently at around -400000 and dropping rapidly...

[ November 12, 2002, 17:18: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigga]

Oh lordy, we is going down and no mistake

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
Item: A severed arm found in the dishwasher. Minus 12000 points.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I thought Taz cleaned all the Ninja parts out of there.

While the health inspectors are busy checking the kitchen area Geo scurries about picking up any remaining pieces of his various heads that might have been missed by Taz's apparently less than throurough nightly cleaning. Don't want to make things any worse than they already are.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Storms over to the cantina from his precariously hovering dreadnought, after a bad week, hoping to drown his sorrows and rage he heads towards the cantina when... A health inspector complains that the ship is hovering above the van and order RD to knock off the engines*

~Sigh~ *doing so numerous accounts of verbal abuse can be heard from the driver of the flattened van

Walks over to a table in the dark cornor with a bottle of absynthe that was in a basket labelled "do not touch - Health Hazard" assuming this is gt's way of disposing of unwanted stock RD Takes one but is halted by yet another inspector*

"One fully armed leader of the deadstar continuum, those tachyon projectile missile loaded phasers are Banned! Minus 1000, carrying Banned bottle of alchohol, minus 500, sitting in an overly brooding corner, minus 700 pts"

*The resulting inspector can be heard dissolving into a pile of vaporised as RD's week procedes to get worse...*

"Oh well, wheres the new establishment, a swedish lodge? a beach hut? or the bar from the large tigga scoff party stadium? Also i believe that the FBW's wouldn't be in any unhygenic positions, maybe the use of their construction sized cheese graters and strimmers would though..."

*picks up one of geoschmos old heads and hides it behind his back so the health inspector doesn't see*

[ November 12, 2002, 18:22: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Erax]

You banished the vegetable god who was dumping onions on your head evry time you said "onions", now he has no way to get to you, so he won't be throwing onions at the Cantina any more.
Saying "onions" has just become harmless.

[Fyron]

Originally posted by Erax:
You banished the vegetable god who was dumping onions on your head evry time you said "onions", now he has no way to get to you, so he won't be throwing onions at the Cantina any more.
Saying "onions" has just become harmless.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hehehe! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

*Contemplates whether he should use his unholy powers of persuasion on the H&S Inspectors to save the Cantina or not. He has been constantly persecuted and repressed here, after all.*

[TerranC]

We've went through 2 already, and now we're going to close this one, and open another one? Unnecessary fuss to me, lads.

Well, can't disagree with the majority.

Somebody go to new england and tell them to make a oak sign, light and small as possible without compromising the legible-from-200-parsecs limit.

And tell them to include the new name:

*insert name here*

Somebody open a new poll, will ya?

*goes back to the Last stool available and keeps the lobsters away as best as TC can.*

[Taz-in-Space]

...Destroy the Cantina??? Haven't we been doing that all along?

Well, if the bosses want destruction, then I guess we will HAVE destruction...

Hmmm, what to use...

Alcohol burns nicely...
The electrical equipment COULD be rigged to spark and explode...
Those pent up GASSES in the Gents Room might combust...

Nope. The Cantina has survived worse! Perhaps if we cause a nova in the local sun??

...Taz begins to construct a Star Destroyer http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

:: Scans the cantina, notes the dart board, Steps over and packs them away, Nudges Paladin of Earth,:: Come on, we got to plan the new place.

[Kamog]

Help! What's going on? Why are you blowing up the Cantina? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif I don't know anything, I just stepped in here a few minutes ago... Where's the emergency exit? By the way, I had no idea this place was so unsanitary and dangerous! Is the new place going to score above -1000 at least?

[Fyron]

No emergency exits. -25393 points.

[dogscoff]

Huge piles of mouldy onions scattered about the Cantina. Minus 3000 points.

Patrons buried under said piles of onions, many of them in advanced stages of decomposition: Minus 4000 points.

[Growltigga]

Allowing elderly patrons smelling of urine and colostomy bags into the cantina -1000 points

Repeated unlicenced uses of them-a-matic machines -1000 points

Serving carbonated urine extracted from alcoholics to north american patrons -2000 points

Hey, good news guys, we have gained a 1000 points for the hygienic state of the FBW's quarters, gawd bless 'em

The inspectors continue prowling round the cantina, so far, the kitchen is taking up a lot of their time and they havn't even gone into the toilets yet....

Growltigga runs into the loos with the Cif mousse in order to clean up the results of his latest anxiety attack........

Coming out of the new pine fresh and lemon scented loos, Growltigga summons the regulars into a huddle....

Listen guys, unless someone has a phenominally clever brainwave to get us out of this mess, the cantina is going to get closed down by the HSE rapido.... what do we do? open up a new cantina elsewhere and try and improve our hygiene standards? what do we do?

[Gryphin]

Pssst. GT, quietly evacuate the patrons from the cantina, then use the Planet size sliser and dicer befor the HSE people know it, ya know, one Last act of cartoon violence, We can then sell pieces of the cantina to raise credits for the new place.

[tesco samoa]

ONION

Senator Mix-A-Lot Sponsors Titties-On-Glass Legislation
WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to stem a four-year decline in freaky Yolandas throwing they titties on U.S. glass, U.S. Sen. Mix-A-Lot (B-WA) introduced sweeping new putting-'em-on-glass legislation Tuesday. "Now listen up, Uncle Sam / I wanna see soul sistas pressin' that ham / Make me say damn / I wanna rear-end 'em / So I'm callin' a Senate referendum / Bounce by the ounce don't make no fun / I'll take 'em by the ton, son," Mix-A-Lot said. "Don't hand this bill down to no committees / 'Cause Mix don't wait on monster titties / Note to my colleague Tom Daschle / That if the babies be gettin' bashful / No melons droppin' on my windshield / So get them nudie laws repealed." Mix-A-Lot then gave props to the authors of H.R. 1610, from which several key clauses were sampled.

History Channel Admits To Profiting From Nazi Documentaries
NEW YORK—The History Channel confessed Monday that it used Nazi footage to fatten its coffers. "The time has come to bring our network's shameful legacy to light," History Channel president Warren Brabender said. "Over the past 10 years, more than $300 million in ad revenue has been generated through the airing of Nazi documentaries." The channel will likely be required to pay reparations to Americans who viewed the atrocities.

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, I think that is a good idea although my preferred plan was to evacuate the cantina whilst I detonate the super powerful tactical nuclear warhead located in the basement of the cantina...

(yes yes the cantina has a basement, it is where the mongoose, raccoons and various denizens of the deep live)

[Gryphin]

We can do both.
< soto voice > First we slice and dice espcialy the area with the inspec.. (and not the celler), Collect 1/2 the pieces, then ignite your bomb.
Charge extra for pieces with FBW costume parts. (yes we evacuate the FBWs first).

[Gryphin]

Hmm, what an image:
The Great Kat begging:
Originally posted by Growltigga:
pleeaaaase Sachmo, write the next chapter, I cannot wait, pleeeeaaaaasesseeeeee<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

[Ragnarok]

*Rags walks in after thinking all night as to how we could save the Cantina. "I have an idea guys, come here... First of all we get ahold of Timstone, and borrow his Gearbox... Then we send the HS people to the other diminsion(sp) for them to finish their study. I mean, doesn't each diminsion have an exact opposite? So that would mean that the other Cantina is extreamly clean right? So we send the HS people there, along with one of us from here and they finish their stuff in a clean place. Resulting in getting alot of points and saving the Cantina. Then when they are finished, tell them, "LOOK A COW!" and when they turn around have the person we send with them activate the Gearbox and send them back here. Recieve our bill of a clean establishment and we move on with life. You guys think it will work?"

[mlmbd]

Hey, I'm Sold. And I don't mean into any kind of slavery, either.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

...Hey Boss, my Star Destroyer is almost finished. How about I launch it, and we all take off in our Battlemoons? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif


BOOM


Then we come back and recreate this whole system.

The nova should eliminate those pesky inspectors and their unholy paperwork too! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

Taz,
that would be very effective but somehow I don't think the other denizens of this planet would apriciate it much.

[Fyron]

Fyron feels that there is no room in the hearts of the Cantina members to accept a Vampire. So, he will not help them in getting rid of the inspectors.

[mlmbd]

Imperator Fyron, I have no objection to Vampires at all.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Growltigga]

Dont be daft Fyron, we do not mind any forms of undead in the cantina... after all, Mac has been a regular patron of the cantina and he smells like a zombie and is close enough to expiring anyway.....

The only problem with vampires is that we do not serve blood at the bar, you can have a bud if you want...

Back to the inspectors, they are still ensconced in the kitchen, I am favouring evacuation of the cantina closely followed by total nuclear destruction, does anyone else have any bright ideas? (Timstone, yours does have a glimmer of hope)

[Fyron]

Well you kept trying to kill me... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

I am capable of drinking other stuff than blood, you know. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[dogscoff]

Well you kept trying to kill me...
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I try to kill 'Tigga on a regular basis, but he's never taken major offence.

* Dogscoff swings a revving chainsaw at 'Tigga's neck, but in a friendly sort of a way.

[Growltigga]

Avoiding the alarming use of armour plated genital protection by Dogscoff, Growltigga pulls out his trusty cricket ball and whallops Dogscoff on the head, on the foot and on the derriere

[Ragnarok]

Minus 2000 points for allowing violance in the Cantina.
Minus another 2245 points for that violance being the dangerous sort.

"(Timstone, yours does have a glimmer of hope)"
Are you talking about the gearbox idea and sending them to another dimension? If so that was my idea... But we would be using Timstones gearbox. But I don't mind not getting the credit for it. I'm just a lowly patron here in the Cantina anyways. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

Growltigga turns and gives Rags a stomping hard kick in the happy sacks for being a cheeky chappy of the first order

[Ragnarok]

Rags bends over from the pain. He says, "Ok, sorry, I'll be leaving now." Rags walks out of the Cantina still howling in pain as he Boards his Cruiser.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
Fyron feels that there is no room in the hearts of the Cantina members to accept a Vampire. So, he will not help them in getting rid of the inspectors.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I don't know about anyone else but I think vampires are awesome. I mean I love the whole goth thing they have going on. (In case you're wondering yes I wear alot of black myself. But I don't have the black nails or makeup or stuff like that. Just black clothes)

[Fyron]

So why did you try to exorcise me? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Phoenix-D]

You posted that link, you deserve it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif (and no, I didn't click on it, I read the URL. Seen way too many of those things lately)

Phoenix-D

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
So why did you try to exorcise me? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Uhh, Umm, That is totally explainable... Uhhh... Ahhh... I.... Uhhh... Ok you got me....

[Timstone]

Okay, by great demand I'll use my gearbox to send those annoying H&S-inspectors into another timeframe. Let us think, what time shall we transport them to?

GT and Rags: Great thinking. Sorry I wasn't there to make the comment, but I was busy (in real life that is).

[Growltigga]

Tigga ducks at the right moment, and responds with a vicious upper cut into Dogscoff's groin

[dogscoff]

A resounding "Bong" is heard throughout the room as Dogscoff's Patented Plutonium Pecker Plating converts 'Tigga's strike into harmless sound energy.

[Gryphin]

:; Gryphin wonders where the trigger to the celler bomb is and if the inspectoers will find it ::

[Fyron]

The time of the Bubonic Plague in Europe. They would just die with all of the health violations. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Quikngruvn]

Nowhere where they can interact with other people. Otherwise, there's a chance they could 'be fruitful and multiply', and then the world would be swarming with health inspectors.... How 'bout five minutes before the asteroid impact that wiped out the dinosaurs? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Quikngruvn

[Kamog]

How about transporting those annoying health inspectors to Tokyo Harbor in 1956 just as Godzilla is about come on shore for the first time?

[Fyron]

I like Kamog's plan the best. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigga]

No, send them back to June 12, 1987 when Growltigga, then aged 17 years old, found himself hiding in his tent after a teenage barn party when the resident school whale tried to get off with him....

I sat there terrified whilst the zip on the tent was slowly pulled down, and then the moose climbed in, about 5 foot 2 and about 16 stone with purple blotches on her legs, she took her top off and I was so horrified, I used a penknife to cut a hole out of the back of the tent (this is all true)

transport those pesky inspectors back then...

AWOOGA AWOOGA serious Growltigga statement alert - I leave my employment today and have been put on 2 months paid and enforced gardening leave. I wont be logging on very much from home so wont be around anywhere near as much.... See you all in January

[ November 15, 2002, 09:10: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Taz-in-Space]

Dogscoff's Patented Plutonium Pecker Plating <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Dogscoff, are you sure you want to use PLUTONIUM down there? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

As to those inspectors... give them a nice vacation in the mountains http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif - three seconds before Mt. Saint Helens erupts http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff, are you sure you want to use PLUTONIUM down there?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I find the glow-in-the-dark effect most entertaining. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Growltigga]

Great for toasting marshmellows as well

[Growltigga]

Cheers Gryphin, adios to you all for the time being, season's felicitations and a happy and pain-free New Year to you all

Wassheil!

[Gryphin]

GT, Enjoy,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

[Kamog]

Dogscoff, are you sure you want to use PLUTONIUM down there?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You might consider using some non-radioactive metal for the shielding if you want to have normal kids in the future! How about titanium or steel, for example?

[Saxon]

Lost: Several members of the PBW game originating from this particular thread. Tesco and Gryph, where are you? Where are your turns? Have they been warped into Hiroshima in time to see the US bomber fly overhead? We miss you, come home.

[Erax]

Send the H&S inspectors into the future... a few minutes before the end of the universe (then they can see me finish my first SEIV game).

[dogscoff]

How about titanium or steel, for example?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">These would undoubtedly be great for groinal galvanisation, but they lack that all-important alliterative aspect.

[Kamog]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
groinal galvanisation <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ouch! Sounds painful... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Quikngruvn]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
...that all-important alliterative aspect.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Chrome codpiece? Thorium thong? Titanium tidy-whities...?

Actually, they all sound like they would chafe. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Quikngruvn

[TerranC]

Originally posted by Quikngruvn:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by dogscoff:
...that all-important alliterative aspect.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Chrome codpiece? Thorium thong? Titanium tidy-whities...?

Actually, they all sound like they would chafe. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Quikngruvn</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What about Silksteel Camisoles http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[tesco samoa]

look new picture under name

[Fyron]

Same here.

[tesco samoa]

bwahahahahahahahahaha

[Quikngruvn]

The Swedish Tesco and Imperator Beaker? The mind reels.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Quikngruvn

[tesco samoa]

http://buzz.ca/fun/chretien.html

post this
http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=reply;f=23;t=006184

[Raging Deadstar]

*Wanders in to the now under siege cantina, leaving only 2 months until GT Actually closes down another fine establishment. The health inspectors seem to be commenting about a eerie green glow coming from Dogscoffs pants. Tesco seems to be running around chasing GT's mongooses dressed up as a sweedish chef with dodgy accent. Lastly Fyron has seemed to have given up on his overly evil and brooding vampire persona and seems to be dressed up like a giant orange in a lab coat!*

*Quickly grabs the kegs of beer that provided such hallucinations as the time travelling gearbox and Mr's gt, The health inspectors might think they were back in time in the medievel ages being attacked by Mrs GT!!!!*

[Fyron]

That avatar was of Kosh. It had absolutely nothing to do with vampires. Fyron is still as vampiric as ever.

[mlmbd]

But now Fyron is a Muppet vampire?!?! Just seem to have the same UMPH. If you know what I mean!

I am very glad to see that ALL my uploaded avatars have inspired people to get NEW ones!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Erax]

I can't get myself an avatar image... Maybe because I chose none when I registered. Now when I try to edit my profile and select a different avatar, nothing happens. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

The status bar says "javascript: void()" when I pass over the link to change my image.

[Ruatha]

*Just peeking in, afraid of all the noice that's been coming from this place*

[Raging Deadstar]

*Marches past Ruatha with a one man band set mounted upon him (note for all those sick minded/affected by the gryphin position, not THAT Kind of mounted!) Walks over to the messiah himself and bangs the drum a few times, activates the cymbols with a nice clattering and then blows on the hamronica, just for effect!*

Sorry Ruatha/Messiah, i never meant to disturb you and your thread, please come in and i'll buy you a brewski!

*Also hands ruatha a card and tells him to read it out aloud*
Ruatha: Whats this?? Onions??

*A large rumble is heard, the ground shakes and Ruatha is buried deep in the infernal veg, Health Inspectors comment on the burying of religious leaders in vegetables and deduct a couple thousand more points!*

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Kamog]

Wow, nice new pictures, tesco samoa, Imperator Fyron, and Erax! Hey, how come when you change your picture, even the images on your old Posts change? By the way, how do you look at all the new uploaded avatars that mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif has uploaded?

[Fyron]

This isn't like ezboard. The avatar code in all Posts is set up identical, so they all call for the same image. In ezboard, it creates a link to a specific picture for each post, instead of just going to the generic link as listed in your profile. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

The vegetable god is gone, so it can't bury people in onions anymore.

[Erax]

Never mind the Last post. I was using a little program to block pop-up windows, after I deactivated it all went OK. My new image should be showing now.

[dogscoff]

The vegetable god is gone, so it can't bury people in onions anymore.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, but when you do away with a God you leave behind a theological vaccuum, which nature must fill. A demigod or minor deity will be immediately and automatically promoted to take its place.

[Fyron]

LOL!

In case anyone cares, I have revamped my forum, which is linked in my sig (Imperial Forums). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ruatha]

*Trying to eat his way out, barping with a really foul breath by now*

[Ruatha]

*Ruatha Tries his new demi-god powers by making a tremendous onion burp that rocks the place*

-C'mon let's rock around the clock.

*Ruatha starts to rock the clock around on the floor, not really sure why though*

[tesco samoa]

Onion is on wed's 52x a year...

[Raging Deadstar]

Now theres a man who knows where his towel is http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Ragnarok]

Just to say, I think this http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/beerchug.gif should be in the Cantina somehow. Like a official banner or something.

[ November 18, 2002, 18:43: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raises glass in approval*

I Agree!!

Ruatha? How old are you because that "Rock Around The Clock" comment really shows your age!

*Falls back into the gutter drunk*

[ November 18, 2002, 20:25: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[mlmbd]

I agree as well.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[tesco samoa]

My towel has stripes. And yes I have used it in hand to hand combat

[dogscoff]

Impressed by Ruatha's heroic attempt to eat his way out of the o***n pile and the messianic status he has achieved on a certain other thread, the vegetable god decides that Ruatha should be a demi-god and grants him immense powers over celery and certain varieties of rhubarb.

Several salads jump off of peoples' plates and begin worshipping Ruatha appropriately.

The Health & Safety inspectors notice this and take yet more notes...

[Kamog]

I agree too! (I mean I agree that having those smileys with the drinks would be neat.)
Tesco samoa: That's great! There's a frood who knows where his towel is.
No doubt you have soaked your towel in nutrients so that if you run out of food, you can use it for sustenance, and also used it to cover your eyes from the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal!

[Skulky]

I recently got off a Vogon Constructor fleet i was hitch-hiking on and picked and dropped into this friendly cantina. Sorry i'm new here, but i found this link on my travels and thought it might be of interest.

Geoschmo being foolish http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif (http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=006550;p=55)

After i packed up my towel i noticed a little piece of advertising left behind by my "generous" hosts. Here it is in electronic form.

Vogon Heavy Industries (http://www.vogon.com/vhi/)

Hope it is enjoyed by all.

[Ruatha]

*Looks at the clock to see if it really shows his age*
- yes, it stops at twelve, that's almost right, atleast the right side of the 50 year mark anyway.

I must say, this is a nice place.
So far the only thing worshipping me has been some vegetables, no maniacs running around with their shoes in their hands.
Give me a bear, please.

*Runs away followed by the angry bear*

[ November 19, 2002, 09:34: Message edited by: Ruatha ]

[dogscoff]

*Runs away followed by the angry bear*
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ruatha, you're a deity now. You could just have a load of celery beat that bear up.

[Erax]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
Yeah, but when you do away with a God you leave behind a theological vaccuum, which nature must fill. A demigod or minor deity will be immediately and automatically promoted to take its place.[/QB]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sounds like you're a D&D player. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*Wanders in after hitchhiking off a jraenar cruiser, the jraenar are very friendly to hitch hikers and very good cooks http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif bit like those chefs for the vogons.*

Ahhh ruatha, how is the forums favourite godly figure doing today

*Ruatha wanders over to the door and all the inhabitants of the thread tht never dies are there, with shoes in hand about to throw them, ruatha is then covered in a flurry of fiendish footwear (take that for alliteration!)*

*Decides to order something alien and exotic, the following plate that taz presents is both plus lethal and radioactive*

Pass me the Tribble Wings Taz, i've had a hard day!

[Erax]

Has anyone ever done a Vogon shipset ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Gryphin]

Gallatic Bash Players
I'll be sending in my turn tonight.
I'm sorry for the delay.
My life is now some what back in order.
I should be on time from now on.
Thank you for your patience.
Gryphin

[mlmbd]

Yes, yes! It rather unsightly to see a deity in flight from a bear!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Quikngruvn]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
*Ruatha wanders over to the door and all the inhabitants of the thread tht never dies are there, with shoes in hand....<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Does crossing two threads have the same effect as crossing the neutrino (or whatever) streams in Ghostbusters?

[Quikngruvn dons eye protection.]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

Quikngruvn

[Erax]

Originally posted by Quikngruvn:
Does crossing two threads have the same effect as crossing the neutrino (or whatever) streams in Ghostbusters? <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">It would be bad. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

..."Check out that OTHER thread - It's got my name in it!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

"But I must agree, DO NOT CROSS THE THREADS! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

You might create:

(Drumroll please!)

THE CANTINA THAT NEVER DIES! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Kamog]

I seem to recall that in certain situations, we have to break the rule and cross the neutrino streams! The Cantina that never dies will be wonderful. Umm, just a sec, aren't we forgetting something?? We still haven't dealt with those pesky Health and Safety Inspectors! Until we get rid of them, the Cantina that never dies will be in danger... Perhaps we can beseech the divine intervention of Mighty Ruatha to exterminate those H&S inspectors...

[Fyron]

I could sick my female minions upon them. They would make short work of those inspectors. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Timstone]

Fyron: Not so cruel, they're only human... I think...

[Raging Deadstar]

Hmm i wouldn't mind a bunch of gothic chicks being unleashed upon me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Wekll for non-violent suggestions http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif perhaps

My profile on msn (http://members.msn.com/?pgmarket=en-gb&mem=deathtomymuses@hotmail.com)

Heh my profile on msn, check out what the mighty leader of the deadstar continuum looks like

[ November 20, 2002, 19:14: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

You're kidding me? That's you?! Wow, I did not expect you to look like that. Gotta love the gothic thing you got going on there.
You got some wicked music selections. All of those bands are sweet. KoRn is one of my Favorites bands of all time. You like Mudvayne? They just came out with a new album. It's pretty wicked.

"Fairly tall." Ok, I always have to ask this. How tall is 'fairly tall'? Like 6'1? 6'2? Not counting the hair of course. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif (No, I'm not making fun of it, I actually think it's pretty cool looking. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )

[tesco samoa]

yep good selection of bands there.

your web site does not work http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

nice putting a face to the nick

[Fyron]

That's not quite Gothic, actually. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
That's not quite Gothic, actually. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well the chains and necklaces and so forth are. But he needs the black clothe thing for it to be truely gothic.

Same problem as Tesco, your site don't work.

[mlmbd]

Loincloths available here. Get your loincloths!!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[tesco samoa]

is our Fryon a gothic ??

[TerranC]

hmm, I've always saw gothic kids as fat, pale, OD on makeup, i-wanna-die-cause-livings-not-fun-anymore, clothed in black drapes, smoking, fat kids.

Or people near germany that built great architecture http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Edit: Nice hair, RD. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ November 21, 2002, 17:14: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[Ragnarok]

Good points TerranC.
I have seen some gothic kids like that too. But to me gothic has always been either extreamly baggy clothes, chains galore, spiked hair, such as RDs, dog colars(sp) for necklaces, or pure black, lots of makeup, black finger nails, pure black hair, spiked, and the attitude that you mentioned. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[TerranC]

I though spiked hair was Punk. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol no i'm not quite gothic, i'm more in between that and punk, glad to see that terran c is clued up. No Rags i'm not really into Mudvayne, but the whole image thing they got going on is quite cool looking. It's amazing,i was worried I would get people who prefer kylie minogue and lots of gareth gates comparisons *pulls out his portable shard cannon for anyone who tries this* I don't wear makeup, my dad would kill me! lol.

*Wanders to the mens room, ducking so he doesn't take off the doorframe with his spikes*

My websites offline, if anyone here can host it i'll be extremely gratefull *hint hint*

[ November 21, 2002, 18:18: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by TerranC:
I though spiked hair was Punk. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">It is.... But alot, if not most, of gothic people wear spiked hair.

RD. You said your dad would kill you if you wore makeup. My parents would kill me if I wore THAT baggy of pants and I had my hair like that. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif They don't really like my chains either but oh well... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Hey rags, u got msn or aol? e-mail me or post your address and i'll speak to you, you seem quite cool

[Erax]

Punk ? My wife's all-time favorite band is the Ramones. I guess mine too after OD'ing on Rocket to Russia while playing Doom I.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
Hey rags, u got msn or aol? e-mail me or post your address and i'll speak to you, you seem quite cool<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, I got MSN. Check your PM for addy...

[mlmbd]

ah.....................crud!!

I'm lost again!!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Fyron]

No, I'm not Gothic, but I know what Gothic is. And Punk too. I'm too lazy to adopt any sort of "style". http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif MSN hasn't been working for me all day long. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[Kamog]

Originally posted by mlmbd:
Loincloths available here. Get your loincloths!!
mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Do you have any with SE4 logos?

[Raging Deadstar]

*Wanders in to see Mlmbd selling SEIVG emblazoned loin clothes. To begin an immediate explotiation he sets up a stall selling loin clothes with phrases like "I went to a smegging cantina and all i got was this loin cloth" and Pictures of ruatha the great printed on them!*

*Sigh* Fleecing customers is no fun when Gt's away, pass me yet more tribble wings taz, we need our fearless leader, that or Ford Prefect...

[Erax]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
*Wanders in to see Mlmbd selling SEIVG emblazoned loin clothes. To begin an immediate explotiation he sets up a stall selling loin clothes with phrases like "I went to a smegging cantina and all i got was this loin cloth" and Pictures of ruatha the great printed on them!*
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No no no. You need loicloths with an SEIV theme... something like "Xiati do it all the time" or "My growth is astonishing !" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[tesco samoa]

i alwasy thought everyone from cali was either punk or urban.

[Raging Deadstar]

Hmmm how about a one which says "I accept your proposal, my growth is astonishing http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif " for all the guys out there.

Hmm what could the FBW's have??

[mlmbd]

Kamog, Thanks for the idea. OK, Get your Newly designed loincloths!! Get em' Here!

Raging Deadstar, no problem I will take care of the Fleecing!!
And for the girls; "I accept your proposal, your growth is astonishing http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ".

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

"OK, NOW I've seen everything - Who is setting up that minimall in the Cantina?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

"When the Kats away..." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

"You could at least sell something with a LITTLE class!"
(Loincloths are for barbarians...Hmmm, maybe a best seller here after all...) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Kamog]

These are very classy loincloths: made of fine silk and trimmed with gold!

[Raging Deadstar]

Yes these are very stylish loin cloths, mainly for regualars after getting caught with a fbw with events ranging into indecency and tourists, well the ones ol' barry doesn't eat

[Erax]

Originally posted by Taz-in-Space:
"OK, NOW I've seen everything - Who is setting up that minimall in the Cantina?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

(Loincloths are for barbarians...Hmmm, maybe a best seller here after all...) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">AXES ! AXES ! Get your axes here !! Horned helmets too, directly from Rollo's workshop in Jutland !!

[tesco samoa]

Erax... I almost fell off the chair when i read your sig... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*orders a giant viking helmet for barry and begins making preperations for a cantina party over xmas!*

[Fyron]

Originally posted by tesco samoa:
Erax... I almost fell off the chair when i read your sig... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, it is pretty funny. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mlmbd]

Taz-in-Space, why whatever to you mean? My items I will have you know have class, VERY LITTLE class, as a matter of fact! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Kamog, "These are very classy loincloths: made of fine silk and trimmed with gold!" <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Raging Deadstar, "Yes these are very stylish loin cloths, mainly for regualars after getting caught with a fbw with events ranging into indecency and tourists, well the ones ol' barry doesn't eat" <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, what they said!!

Erax, you are aware I have the only retailer's license here. Right? We can talk about my sharing that license. For a fee, of course! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[ November 25, 2002, 12:23: Message edited by: mlmbd ]

[Kamog]

"Fyron, Feudalism Works !"<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What? I don't get the joke... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

Hmmm, while you guys are explaining things:
I accept your proposal, your growth is astonishing <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">How do you get all that on a LOINCLOTH? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

Oh, and TAZ want helmet. Also BIG BIG axe! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[mac5732]

hey hey, THE GALACTIC BASH IS BACK, EVERYONE MAKE SURE YOU TAKE YOUR TURN, TKS TESCO, HAVE A BREWSKI OR TWO ON FYRON'S TAB http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas mac

Someone needs to take a picture of the Taz in a loin cloth and post it, we can hang it next to the one with Saxon kissing a GNU.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Kamog]

Originally posted by Taz-in-Space:
How do you get all that on a LOINCLOTH? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, some of us need BIG loincloths, so these words will fit easily. And if you only wear a small loincloth, we'll just print the words using smaller font. However, people will have to look closely to read it.

Or maybe we can have the words projected as a hologram from the front of the loincloth, so that when you walk around, you have glowing 3-D text flashing in front of you. That way, we can have large text regardless of the size of the loincloth. (We'll embed a mini holo-emitter into the fabric.)

[Erax]

Mlmbd, judging by the look of your stall, I could swear you didn't have a license (unless you bought one from the guy who sells fake Ruler of The World certificates - he's in the booth next to yours, by the way).

About my sig line... I figured it was the only way I could ever get the Last word in an argument with Fyron. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[mlmbd]

Erax, nope it is the real deal. Now about that licensing fee??

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Kamog]

Hey, I hear that the Cantina is going to be demolished any minute now to make way for a hyperspacial express route. What's going to happen with the licensing agreements when we get blown up?

[mlmbd]

I will just relocate!! To this side or that side of the thru way. It is "Elementary, My dear Kamog, Elementary".

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Hmmmm We need a Licence?

*Quickly forges one putting barry the T-rex's name as manager*

Trading Standards Officer "Excuse me Sir, Do you have a licence?"

"Take it up with the Management"
*Points to the door leading into the parking lot, past the health inspectors who are shocked at the GHB's (Gravitational Hellbore) wiring, and the Trading Standards man walks straight out into Barry's path

*CHOMP*

*Sigh* "I hope the new establishment has a Null space cannon which destroys Health Inspectors, Trading Standards, Bus drivers and any other government officials!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Fyron]

Originally posted by mac5732:
hey hey, THE GALACTIC BASH IS BACK, EVERYONE MAKE SURE YOU TAKE YOUR TURN, TKS TESCO, HAVE A BREWSKI OR TWO ON FYRON'S TAB http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Fyron doesn't have a tab. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Originally posted by Erax:
About my sig line... I figured it was the only way I could ever get the Last word in an argument with Fyron. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, when debating, you have to keep doing it or agreee to disagree. If you just stop, you essentially submit to the other person's point of view and abandon your own. Or at least, that is what appears to have happened. It isn't so much as having to always have the Last word, but more of just keeping the debate going.

Feudalism still doesn't work though. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ November 27, 2002, 23:01: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]

[Kamog]

I have to agree with Fyron, feudalism doesn't work.

[mlmbd]

Fyron doesn't have a tab. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">In that case open one up for him, bartender!!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif Tsk Tsk, Raging Deadstar! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif
Are you responsible for Barry's recent relapse. I just got him weaned OFF the clones and here you are feeding him paper shufflers! I can't help but to worry that this will lead to another regretable snack food binge!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

As for putting holo-emitters in the loincloths...

I can just see them being reprogrammed to.. Ah..
project certain OTHER things http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Kamog]

Other things? Umm, uh... such as a 3-D graphic depiction of "My growth is astonishing!"?
That's certainly not classy! Not to be activated in public. To purchase those, you need to go to that special curtained-off area at the back of the Cantina where kids aren't allowed.

[mac5732]

In regards to Fyron's Tab or No Tab, I have researced the rules, regulations, Posts, recommendations, talked with the Health Inspectors, confered with cantina members and the consensus was all the same, ANYONE WHO DROPS INTO OR ONTO THE CANTINA IS ISSUED A TAB.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Which is most atrusily and most micro managed by the ever watchful furry feline GT and managed by the Taz (even if he is wearing a loincloth) and Dogscoff and his minions. THEREFORE FYRON, YOU MOST CERTAINLY HAVE A TAB and I must perchance thk you for giving me the opportunity to facilitate its use on your behalf http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

just some ideas mac

[Fyron]

Fyron pays no tab.

[Timstone]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
Fyron pays no tab.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">So Fyron must be punished. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Taz: Don't touch my timetraveling companion RD! I'll pay ransom to get him free. He's precious to us all.

RD: You owe me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[mlmbd]

Fyron, who said anything about "Paying". Barkeep, I'll have another one of these, put it on Fyron's tab. Thanks!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[tesco samoa]

i have been putting stuff on fryons tab for months

[Kamog]

All right!! Free drinks for EVERYBODY! ... on Fyron's tab
Thanks, Fyron!

[Raging Deadstar]

*Wanders in whistling innocently as he directs some tourists and trading standards officers looking for mlmbd to barry's valet post*

Hey i started feedign him clones, now i thought i'd put him on a more fattening diet, especially american tourists http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Thanx Timstone, i'm currently writing up an idea for our next time travelling adventure and making my own shipset for the Deadstar continuum, you have free acess on any tabs as long as it belongs to fyron!

[Timstone]

Alright! I'll remember the part about the tabs. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Can't wait till your shipset is out. Good luck, my time travel companion.

[Fyron]

I'm not Fyron, I am Xantus the Supreme Lord.

[Kamog]

Supreme Lord Xantus, do you also put things on Fyron's tab?

[Taz-in-Space]

I'm not Fyron, I am Xantus the Supreme Lord. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">...Hmmm, Your ID on left shows you ARE Fyron - You wouldn't be trying to skip out on your tab?
Remember:
THERE IS NO GREATER CRIME AT THIS CANTINA!
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Well you could insult the "current" Mrs GT If you wanted real danger though taz http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[ December 01, 2002, 17:08: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
Well you could insult the "current" Mrs GT If you wanted real danger though taz http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That would indeed cause harm to us all if someone insulted Mrs GT.

And thanks Fyron for the drinks. My friends that I brought in enjoyed all their drinks. All 8 of them.

[Fyron]

Of course I, Xantus, put things on Fyron's tab. Who doesn't?

What "ID on left" are you refering to Taz?

*contemplates insulting the current Mrs. GT...*

[Raging Deadstar]

Xantus/Fyron, you're a brave man my friend, very brave. Well considering that these days bravery and stupidity are linked

[tesco samoa]

Xantus the Supreme Lord is picking up the tab for the patio.

There are now 10000 penguins out there drinking heavily and complaining about some chap named SCOTT who screwed with their enviroment....

Xantus the SUpreme Lord... I suggest you go and get some herring for them...

[mlmbd]

Fyron, I'm not Fyron, I am Xantus the Supreme Lord. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not just yet, you're not! Oh, BTW, Xantus, isn't a Vampire. How, Oh great Imperator, do you reconcile this? UH?

Taz, give em' hell! YEAH! As to; BTW just what is that in the picture? <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">He, Xantus, is the best Colony leader in MOO2. Unless you need a telepath!

FYI, I have no intention of messing with Mrs. GT!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol who isn't terrified of the "current" Mrs GT, I mean she's really the force behind Tigga Scoff PLC, She is the one who deals with the tax men and its probably why GT earns so much, i know i wouldn't mess with her!

"Behind every man is a succesful, and usually terrifying, women"

Also fyron, arn't most vampires counts, not lords? and certainly not supreme lords!

[ December 02, 2002, 18:09: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigga]

Hello everybody, I is back after a 2 week absence but am only back for a couple of seconds...

I am going to go offline for about 5 weeks, whcih means no Posts and no galactic bash game... can anyone help me with takingover the federation for that period?

Pls send me a PM if ou can and are willing

Cheers all

[Fyron]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">
What "ID on left" are you refering to Taz?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You know, the one with Imperator Fyron above your picture...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh that... don't be so picky. I'm not going to go create a second Shrapnel account for this. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Not just yet, you're not! Oh, BTW, Xantus, isn't a Vampire. How, Oh great Imperator, do you reconcile this? UH?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What is there to reconcile? Xantus looks like a sentient plant to me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Also fyron, arn't most vampires counts, not lords? and certainly not supreme lords!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you go by the distorted Hollywood picture of vampires, sure.

[ December 02, 2002, 23:19: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]

[Taz-in-Space]

What "ID on left" are you refering to Taz?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You know, the one with Imperator Fyron above your picture...
BTW just what is that in the picture? Just what have you Morphed into now? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Oh, I have to warn against messing with Mrs. GT - I've heard that even GT himself is kind of scared of her... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Kamog]

Wow, Xantus is a vampiric sentient plant AND a supreme lord to boot? I am deeply honored to have met you, great sir! It is not everyday that one has the honor of conversing with a vampiric sentient plant supreme lord!

By the way, do you really need to drink blood, or can you just sit in the sunlight to get your nourishment?

[Fyron]

Either or, I suppose.

[Kamog]

I'm not sure, but you might be able to change your name without creating another Shrapnel account.

Go to the "My Profile" screen and click on "View/Update Profile". You can't change your login name, but you CAN type a new name into the "Publicly Displayed Name". I haven't tried it myself, but maybe that will do the trick?

[dogscoff]

By the way, do you really need to drink blood, or can you just sit in the sunlight to get your nourishment?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Let's hope it's the sunlight option. After all it would be kind of hard to go stalking mortals and drinking their blood when you're rooted to the spot.

-"Hey, come over here."
-"Who said that?"
-"I did. Come over here."
-"Did that plant just talk?"
-"Yeah I did. Get over it. Now just come over here a minute, I, uh... want to look at your neck..."

[Timstone]

The best part of being a plant or vamp, is that you never have to eat your veggies. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Fyron]

Umm... I am a mobile plant, thank you very much.

[Timstone]

So, you're more like those Ents from LOTR?

[mlmbd]

Fyron, Umm... I am a mobile plant, thank you very much. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">. Like a Dionaea Muscipula (Venus Flytrap)? Except the mobile part! Then again I guess it could mobile if someone was to carry it around. So, my question stands, un appended? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Kamog, Wow, Xantus is a vampiric sentient plant AND a supreme lord to boot? I am deeply honored to have met you, great sir! <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">no need to be that impressed. After all he is just a freak'n plant! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Suicide Junkie]

Go to the "My Profile" screen and click on "View/Update Profile". You can't change your login name, but you CAN type a new name into the "Publicly Displayed Name". I haven't tried it myself, but maybe that will do the trick?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes, it will. It will also change your name on all previous Posts.

I did that once, and had trouble changing back; something about that name already being in use, and probably due to the ghost of the old forums.

[Ruatha]

I'd like some sausage and some Xantus salad to go with that, thankyou.

[Erax]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
Well, when debating, you have to keep doing it or agreee to disagree. If you just stop, you essentially submit to the other person's point of view and abandon your own. Or at least, that is what appears to have happened. It isn't so much as having to always have the Last word, but more of just keeping the debate going.

Feudalism still doesn't work though. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I could have kept going, but I didn't want to bore everyone else.

[tesco samoa]

Ohhh I thought you came here for an arguement.

[Fyron]

Well feudalism still doesn't work.

Xantus doesn't make a good salad.

[Fyron]

Originally posted by Timstone:
The best part of being a plant or vamp, is that you never have to eat your veggies. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Veggies are good for you. :eats some veggies: mmm...

[Kamog]

It must be against the law to eat a sentient being! If not, it ought to be.
No Xantus salad...here, eat these Pahsana Greens with Zeio nuts instead.

[mlmbd]

Kamog, I have to go all the way to Goblin Island, just to eat? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Hmm a vegetarian plant, only could it happen in the cantina

[Fyron]

No, Xantus is an omnivore. :eats some animal flesh (properly cooked, of course): mmm...

[tesco samoa]

Tesco Rolls in with 10 barrels of tomatos... And places them randomly around the room

[Fyron]

Xantus quickly leaves before any sort of tomato throwing can begin.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by tesco samoa:
Tesco Rolls in with 10 barrels of tomatos... And places them randomly around the room<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Dang Tesco, how big of a garden do you have?! If I recall correctly that is a grand total of 50 barrels of tomatos that you have brought about. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif How many more do you have?

Edit: Oh, and on a related note to all this veggie talk. I'm sure it's been told before or most of you have heard it. But I am telling it anyways.
Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A: A salad shooter.

[ December 04, 2002, 22:16: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[Fyron]

Fyron returns to the Cantina after having been absent for several days and says, "Hey guys! Who was that plant creature I saw quickly getting away from the Cantina?"

After noticing that his tab is suddenly overwhelmed with charges, Fyron says, "Why is my tab full?"

[Kamog]

Welcome back, Imperator Fyron! That plant creature was Xantus, the vampiric sentient mobile plant supreme lord! He ran away to avoid becoming a salad.